Good Housekeeping

You deserve a break today.

Snap, crackle pop.

Just do it.

How many slogans are still dancing around somewhere in the dark recesses of your brain, years after you last heard or read them? Probably more than you’d like to admit, because there’s no denying it- Slogans work. They’re memorable. They stick in your head like an old piece of chewing gum, and the best ones can be almost impossible to pry away, particularly when they rhyme.

Plop, plop. Fizz, fizz. Oh, what a relief it is.

Loose lips sink ships.

Takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

All of this occurred to me the other day as I was cleaning up after the five other members of my household for what must’ve been the 1,537,654th time this week. Over the years, I’ve shown you photos of the damage my family is able to inflict on the house when I’m gone for a few days, but the sad truth is that they can do a shocking amount of dirty work in just a couple of hours. On those rare occasions that I sleep in or go shopping, I can expect to find that a dozen crusty dishes have appeared on the counter top in my absence, food and goo are stuck to the floors, a big red mystery stain has turned up on the den carpet, and toys, crumbs, and cast-off clothing are everywhere I look.

“I would never allow my children or my husband to make that kind of mess,” some of you inevitably comment when I occasionally whine about the problem on my blog.

“My children get up at five every morning in order to mop the floors and do the laundry,” you write. “My husband dusts and vacuums before he goes to work. It’s up to you to show them who’s boss!”

YEAH! I always think to myself. I’ll show them who’s boss all right!

And that’s exactly how I came up with the idea of posting passive-aggressive housekeeping notes around the house. Because I’M THE BOSS.

Strangely, though, those didn’t go over so well.

And so I labored on, sweeping up crumbs, picking up toys, and scraping boogers and Cheeto-dusted fingerprints off the walls… until that recent fateful day when I had an epiphany.

SLOGANS.

Slogans would help my family remember to clean up after themselves, just like they help me to remember that Milk Does a Body Good and Trix are for Kids!

And so last night after my family went to sleep, I got busy.

Obviously, these messages were meant primarily for the older members of my family, but my little ones could definitely use a little sloganizing, too. I created a few signs just for them.

Some may say these are simply dire warnings that rhyme, but I much prefer the term ‘slogan’ for them. It’s catchier. Anyway, good housekeeping requires thinking outside the box, and I have high hopes for my new strategy. I may even copyright a few of these slogans and put them to music if they start to catch on around the house.

I’ll let you know how it goes.