Back in 2005, I decided to start a blog and write about my life as a new mom and stepmom. Suburban Turmoil was born, and what began as a spur-of-the-moment decision ended up changing the trajectory of my life. Thanks to that website and the support of its readers, I’ve gotten to travel the world, make lifelong friends, host a TV show, speak at conferences, report for CNN, write for some of my favorite magazines and websites, and so much more.
Maybe you read that website, and felt like you knew all there was to know about me. Well, not quite. The one thing I kept hidden from everyone was that I was in an abusive relationship. I finally left my marriage in August of 2022 with nothing but a duffel bag, one month after my 20th wedding anniversary. I took two years off from writing to heal and then wrote a blog post about the abuse – partly because my secrets were making me sick and the shame was no longer mine to bear, but also because I made a promise to myself, long before I left, that one day I would write the words I’d needed to read during that time, so that other women in abusive relationships could find them. I’m doing that now in the form of a Substack newsletter called Something Totally Divorce-Related, which I send out weekly. It’s subscription-based to add an extra layer of privacy, both for me and for the wonderful community of women (and a few men!) who have been bravely sharing their thoughts and experiences in the comments.
As for Suburban Turmoil? Well, that’s a thing of the past. I live in the city instead of the suburbs, my ‘littles’ are 17 and 20, and I’ve started a new chapter with absolutely no idea of what will happen next. Clearly, it was time for Something Totally Different.
about lindsay
What can you expect to find here, now that the kids are basically grown and the husband is gone? Well, there are already plenty of websites out there already about empty nesting and the various trials of middle age – This is not going to be one of those sites. I loved being a mom and stepmom for the last 22 years (if ya couldn't tell), but I’m also really excited now about what’s next. I’m excited about being able to think about what I want for a change, rather than what my family needs from me. I’m excited about being divorced. I know I’m supposed to be all gloom and doom about it, but you guys, I will freely admit that I’m having the time of my life. I’m excited to be 49 and happy and healthy and free. I want us to learn to ignore the messaging that's bombarding us now about needing to look younger and find a husband if we're single, and focus instead on being ourselves, and loving what we see in the mirror – whether that means wearing a miniskirt or a caftan. Getting married or staying single. Writing a novel or starting a nonprofit or moving to Timbuktu. This is our time. Let’s do our best to live the absolute hell out of it.
That’s what you’re going to get here, in a nutshell. So if you’re looking for sob stories about the kids moving away and relief from menopause symptoms, I'm sure you already know where to go. But if you’re looking for something totally different? You’ve found it.
