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Hi! I'm Lindsay Ferrier. You might remember me from a blog called Suburban Turmoil. Well, a lot has changed since I started that blog in 2005. My kids grew up, I got a divorce, and I finally left the suburbs for the heart of Nashville, where I feel like I truly belong. I have no idea what the future will hold and you know what? I'm okay with that. Thrilled, actually. It was time for something totally different.
10 Brutal Truths About Being a Step Mom
July 8, 2013
You can tell from a quick glance at my bio that I’m a step mom — but I almost never write about it.
I’ve had several big reasons to steer clear of the topic– One, I’m not my stepdaughters’ mom, and if I were, I don’t think I’d be too happy if they had a step mom writing about their lives on her blog. Two, throughout most of the time I’ve been blogging, my stepdaughters were teenagers and they certainly didn’t need or want me to be writing about them at that sensitive time in their lives. Three, writing about step parenting while you’re in the trenches of it is a lot like writing about divorce as you’re going through it — Emotions are running rampant and very few writers can steer through the subject with grace and objectivity. Four, and this was a biggie– I often felt like the world’s worst step mom. I mean it. The world’s worst.
And who wants to write about that?
To be fair, things started out great. My stepdaughters and I got along right away from the moment we met, and the first two years of blended family-dom were pretty awesome. But then puberty happened. And the girls came to live with us seven days a week. And I had two small children of my own. Suddenly, I felt like my relationship with my stepdaughters was disintegrating — and nothing I did or didn’t do seemed to help matters. I thought it was all my fault, and I was so ashamed at my failure that for years, I didn’t tell anyone what was going on. In retrospect, that was a HUGE mistake. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I confided my feelings of failure to a counselor, who promptly informed me that what my family and I were experiencing was actually very, very common. There’s almost always a honeymoon period, he said. And then all hell breaks loose.
Seriously? How did I not know this?
Somehow, we all muddled through adolescence and made it through to the other side. Today, time and counseling have given me some much-needed perspective, and now that my older girls very nearly on their own, I feel ready to write more about the subject on my blog- which is good, I guess, because I get a lot of e-mails from stepmoms asking for advice. But know up front that I am going to limit this subject and its details to MY story, not the story of my stepdaughters or their mother. That’s theirs to tell, if they choose.
So let’s start with ten brutal truths I’ve learned in my eleven years (and counting) as a stepmom, truths that every new step mom, or woman even thinking of becoming a stepmom should consider. You may agree — you may disagree. That’s fine. This is simply what I have learned from my experience.
1. You are not their mother. Or their ‘Bonus Mom,’ for that matter. Even if your husband has primary custody of the kids. Even if their biological mother rarely sees them. Even if they CALL you mom. Do not make the mistake of believing in your heart that you have all the same rights and privileges as the woman who gave birth to them– because you don’t. You can have a meaningful, loving, influential relationship with your stepchildren, but it will be different from that between a mother and child. That’s okay. Embrace it, and make the most of it.
2. Silence is the best policy. We live in a world where everyone loves to vent, whether it’s on Facebook, over the phone, or during a Girls Night Out, but take it from me– No one likes to hear a step mom vent about her husband’s ex or her stepkids. Divorce is one of the most devastating things a person will ever go through, and no one needs to hear from you how the ex-wife is handling it, or how her kids are acting out in the aftermath. One of the hardest parts about being a stepmom is the need to keep quiet about the tough stuff, and how it’s affecting you. If you’ve got to let it out, limit your thoughts to a very close, trusted friend, or even better- tell it to your counselor or therapist. Which brings us to number three.
3. Find a counselor or therapist, even if you don’t think you need one. My husband and I didn’t visit a counselor until we’d been married eight years- HUGE MISTAKE. I went into the first session thinking I was a horrible step mom and that our problems raising the girls were unique to us and insurmountable, and do you know what the counselor told us? “You guys are doing great! Do you know that I hear your exact same problems from nearly every blended family that comes in this room? Do you realize that 70% of blended family marriages fail? You’ve almost made it through! YOU’RE DOING GREAT!” I really, really, really needed to hear that. Going to see a counselor helped me stop beating myself up and allowed me to realize that what we were experiencing was actually NORMAL. For me, that changed everything. Also? You might need to visit a few counselors/therapists before you find the one that’s right for you. Be prepared to shop around until you find someone you and your husband are both comfortable with.
4. It’s okay to take a step back. This was initially a tough one for me, because I thought my girls needed me to act just like I was their mom. WRONG. Remember number one? I’m not their mom, and acting like I was probably caused some resentment and confusion on both ends. I now believe that a good step mom is physically/emotionally available when her stepkids need and want her to be– and she backs off and becomes a behind-the-scenes supporter to her husband’s parenting when they don’t.
5. Protect your marriage at all costs. You and your husband need to be each other’s refuge, particularly when you’re having issues with your children or stepchildren. If childrearing issues are pulling you apart, pinpoint exactly what’s hurting your marriage and protect your relationship in this area immediately and relentlessly. A counselor can be WONDERFUL at helping you do this. Ultimately, zealously protecting your marriage benefits everyone- Your stepchildren need to see you and your husband stay together and fight for your relationship, even when times are tough. It will teach them to do the same some day.
6. Don’t compare yourself to other stepparents. You will come across other step moms who can’t stop raving about how WONDERFUL their relationships are with their stepchildren. “They tell me ALL their secrets!” they’ll gush. “They told me they think of me as their REAL MOM!” “They convinced the city to hold a parade in my honor!” Etc. Don’t let it get you down. Remember what I said earlier? More than 70% of blended family marriages fail. Girl, you don’t need a parade. You’re keeping it together. You’re doing great.
7. Don’t play the blame game. Maybe you, like me, have spent too much time beating yourself up about your shortcomings as a step mom. Or maybe you think your marital problems are all your stepkids’ fault. Maybe you even think your husband is to blame, because he always seems to take their side. Realistically, you’re probably ALL partially to blame for the problems in your relationships. You can’t change everyone else, but you can change yourself. Work on that, and hope that your efforts inspire others in your family to try harder, too.
8. Forgive yourself. Step mom, let’s just get something straight right now. You are going to make a lot of mistakes. Like, a LOT lot. Please don’t do what I did and spend years convincing yourself that something is very wrong with you because you seem to screw everything up. Forgive yourself. Over and over and over again. Forgive yourself. And move on.
9. You can’t fix what you didn’t break. My own stepfather said this to me a few years ago. I wish I had heard it a lot sooner, because I spent years trying to do a whole lot of fixing. I really thought I could solve everything and everyone if I just tried hard enough. What a waste of energy. So many issues a blended family faces come from the divorce, which the stepmother (hopefully) had nothing to do with. As wonderful as I’m sure you are, you can’t fix that.
10. Stick with it and know that you will emerge from this a better person. Now that I have raised my stepdaughters and had time to look back on the experience, I feel like I ran a gauntlet of tremendous emotional challenges and came across the finish line truly changed. I am wiser. I am gentler with myself. I am more reluctant to judge others. I am a far better wife and mother than I would have been without my stepdaughters. Our family is still a work in progress, but the worst is behind us. We made it through. And the experience actually ended up being a huge bonding point for my husband and me.
I certainly don’t want to make being a step mom seem all gloom and doom, because it isn’t. We’ve had many, many wonderful times together. I would change a lot of things I did as a stepmother if I could go back in time, but I wouldn’t give up my blended family. I still believe I’m here for a reason. We are all imperfect. We all have the potential to be amazing. We are all working toward that potential, in our own time and in our own way. We are learning more about each other as we go. We are all messed up, but you know what? We are family.
We are family.
And in the end, that’s what matters.
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Thanks for this insight!
Thank you for this! I absolutely love my stepsons, but there are challenges to being a stepmother that a lot of people don’t understand unless they’ve gone through it themselves. I have struggled with feeling guilt over certain things with them, and work hard to remind myself that some of it had nothing to do with me and wasn’t in my control. I think your 10 Truths are right on and I’m so happy you shared them! I wouldn’t trade my time with those boys for anything and am so blessed their Dad chose me to be their stepmom.
SOOO well said..and it helped me. Thank you. AGAIN…Lindsay!
This is a beautiful post, full of insight and hard-earned wisdom. As a (grown) stepchild and a soon-to-be stepmother, I really appreciate your honesty. Am definitely bookmarking this one for future referral!
Thanks for opening up about being a Step Mom. As a Step Mom for 14 years I really identified with your number 9 – you can’t fix what you didn’t break! I would add to the list that you may not have the same relationship with each kid. Depending upon their ages, personalities and what they’ve been through you may be extremely close to one and not another. And that’s ok. Let the kids be your guide to the relationship you share not the outside world.
Thanks again for sharing.
thank you so much for sharing! I am a brand new stepmom to one spunky, gorgeous, 11-year-old. It’s really hard and I do feel like I’m screwing it up most of the time. There are many days when I wish I could have been more patient, encouraging, caring, kept my mouth shut, etc. Thank you for your insight. I will be looking forward to more posts based on your hard-earned wisdom. I really appreciate it!
We’re much harder on ourselves than the regular parent, who also screws up daily. Be yourself, do what you do, and they will benefit from that either way. If you really really screw up, they will also learn from you simply saying sorry and asking for forgiveness. Kids need apologies modeled, and sometimes they respond very well to it. But mostly, you’re probably just being wwaaaayyy to hard on yourself.
Very well said and well written. You really put into words what i felt and continue to work on as a step mother. Makes me feel good to know i’m not the only one out there who struggles from time to time!
I totally disagree!
Beautiful article! Just what I needed today! Thank you!
I am married 3 yrs. to a wonderful man, with 1 big flaw. He has a 26 yr, old child in our home, who hates me way beyond normal. We have been to counseling, and still are, but he does not take their advice. My (evil) stepson seems to blame me for his mother’s death. He runs away from me, won’t eat what I cook, (so his dad cooks), and although he has a decent job, he will not move out. And he was supposed to have been out over 2 yrs ago. He takes my things, especially photos, and ruins my plants. He slams doors, which really hurts me every time I hear them. Dad does nothing, even bringing his dinners up to his room! He is demanding and does not know how to cook or clean up his own dirty dishes. This is aweful. I stand back and pray!
Thank you for sharing this! Its been needed… although I already thought that I knew these things its nice to know that I was going in the right direction in the first place. I had half siblings from dads previous marriage so I learned from seeing what they put my mom thru and I am sure what she put them thru as well. NOW I see what my siblings complaints were about and some were justified where my moms patience or lack of and how she treated them at times. Not that she was mean or anything but since she was actually only 6 yrs older than her oldest stepchild I am sure it was really difficult for her as well (she was 18 when she married our dad and my sister was 12 and VERY PO’d that her dad married someone let alone another kid, lol.). Their relationship got much better and they are still in our lives after dad passed almost 10 yrs ago although we were worried that they wouldnt be. But because of seeing what the “steps” had to deal with and go thru I learned and use it with my almost stepkids, lol. they call me their almost stepmom at times. Their dad and I live together for 3 yrs now that we have been together. I got along GREAT with the youngest son and the daughter (they were 10 and 12 when we got together) BUT the oldest son who was 16 WAS NOT HAVING IT. He would NOT come down to his dads apt that I moved into if I was there at first. My SO moved 5 houses down from the kids to stay close to them and have a hand in raising them daily… So the kids were in and out all day and I enjoyed it. My kids are grown and on their own so it was nice having the younger ones around again… we did stuff together and they enjoyed hanging out with me cooking, baking, and doing whatever else. The older one started coming down when he realized I wasnt going anywhere and his siblings told him how respectful I was of their time with their dad- he worked midnights so they had limited time with him. I made sure that when they came down and were going to spend the night or spend alot of time there that at first I went into the bedroom to stay so that they could have dad time then i was told by my SO that the kids thought that I stopped liking them so I felt bad because that was not my intentions and I told dad that and he got it and appreciated it alot.. but wanted me involved. So then I changed it to where I made sure that I was present when they got there, spent time with them and the family, I explained what I was doing and why and told them that it wouldnt hurt my feelings if they didnt want me to go somewhere as a “family”, or they wanted/needed dad time, etc.. I told them to just let me know and if dad pushed it that I was involved and it was a time that they preferred me not to let me know, nicely of course and they really appreciated it and it brought us even closer and the conversation we had got back to the oldest and he started coming down even more again and let me drive him to and from work or a friends where before he rather of walked and did! His mom has a hand in it with him… but thats another story. Then when we moved into a house he came over every weekend with his siblings and he started talking to me and opening up to me and it was great. He explained how he felt and asked me questions which i answered honestly. His mom wasnt happy that now all 3 of her kids liked me and she tried to get between us which upset the kids because they even told her that I am not competing that I just want to help especially when she is at work and so is dad at least they have someone home to help them where its needed. Well right when I thought all was great and I was so amazed that it was going so well… the week after fathers day I got a phone call from my stepdaughter hysterically crying and freaking me out. Dad was out and she couldnt get him on his cell so she called me. Our oldest committed suicide. he was 19 yrs young. He was such a beautiful, loving, caring, pain in the butt big brother that those two idolized, he was my SOs EXACT REPLICA, the list is long on how great he was… what my SO and I did NOT know, what the ex did not tell him was that he was VERY DEPRESSED and had been for months. We never saw it, we never knew because when he came here he was always happy and smiling. His mom puts the blame on us! ME to be specific.. because I am in his dads life and didnt like me, that I took his dads time away and the list is long. She came to our home a couple of days after he died and we were funeral planning. Not me, I was on the sidelines being sure to be there for my man, kids and his family by cooking, being a shoulder, etc… but I made sure to respect that it was family that needed to take care of this although it upset my man his mom got him to finally see what I was doing was the right thing although she wishes that it could be different but she knows the ex and knew this was coming.So I had all of the family on my side when she showed up to rip me apart. So now daily I live with her words in my head, wondering if he really felt that way? I mean we spoke an he said how happy he was that his dad was happy and had me although honestly he wanted his parents together he knew it wasnt good and wouldnt happen. So at least he still got his parents and he got another friend who he could talk with and he did talk with me! His mom told me he hated me, he didnt like me here, etc. her own children were crying and holding me protecting me so to speak from her and her words begging her to just go home he liked me and would want me at his funeral she was being mean because she was mad. I told them and her that she was hurting and if she needed someone to be mad at I loved him enough that I would take that all day long for him. but that I did not step into a marriage and break it up and I didnt appreciate her portraying that to the children, family and friends. Now she wont let the kids come to the house- when dad calls them to come they say mom needs us right now dad she told me to tell you and her that but we really want to come, and they arent answering his calls and then he gets a mean text from her, she was calling every day saying things like she wanted him back so it didnt happen to one of the other children… and then would just start ranting and raving and had even told him that she wanted to die. Idk if suicide really runs in family or not but her mom and a cpl of other relatives of hers have committed suicide in the last few yrs. It is scary. We worry so much about those children being there but are unsure of what to do about it he doesnt want to take the kids away from their mom… Im sorry for the rant. i just have no where to turn. My SO has shut down and has distanced himself from me and we were once so close and loving that our friends all said they wanted what we had how fortunate we were, now they are all worried that we will seperate and that he wouldnt handle it well especially now. See I forgot to mention that back in January I broke my neck. an old fracture got infected in the bone and I didnt know it and it ended up completely shattering and we didnt know.When they finally figured it out I was rushed to surgery, I had 2 surgeries and ALOT OF METAL in me now. The oldest was the first to ask about me and want to come see me. The drs told us that they were SHOCKED that I was able to walk that I should be paralyzed… SINCE I wasnt dead. that is how bad it was. I should of been dead. he was scared about almost loosing me
And So not only did he almost loose me which freaked him out so badly that he turned into a VERY OVERPROTECTIVE I COULDNT DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HIM KIND OF GUY… it also made him take a step back after his son died. He talked with a friend and told them that he couldnt handle loosing someone else he loved. So he was sabotaging us I guess you could say? Now our relationship is on pins and needles and I am lost and not sure if I should just walk away to make it easier on him? Or if I should stay? I am lost any help would be great.
I have a stepmother and i really don’t know how she feels and what to do with her. we got along right away from the moment we met also,probably because I knew already I was going to live with her and my father ,then I did my best to be a “good daughter” to the point that I feel myself like the worst hypocrite in the world. however, when her cousin moved on with us our relationship changed completely (negatively). We suddenly stopped talked with each other and she always tells my father about all the things I do wrong. We have never discussed before but it has becom suffocating for me nowadays. She only talks with me when my father is around and I just can’t manage living with her any longer. I don’t know what to do we are like strangers living in the same house. everything she does just started irritate me, I can’t talk with her because I simply don’t trust her!! we’ve already lived 4 years but it feels like hell for me. I miss my mom…
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This is exactly what I needed to read today. I’ve been a stepmom for 17 years and have only recently felt like the biggest step-failure on earth over something I really had no control over. Thank you so much for sharing. 🙂
Big step-failure, I like that one. I also really needed to read this today. both my step kids (16 and 11 years old) are refusing to go to school and I honestly don’t know how to deal with this. When I say something, I’m told, “Thanks for caring, your opinion has been noted.” But I must admit, I do feel better after reading this.
Thank you so much for posting this! I’m 20 years old and my fiancee is 22 and he has a wonderful 4 year old son! Thing is, when I say we’re a “blended” family, I mean race wise. I’m white, and my fiancee is black and hispanic. I feel like I can’t be a good stepmother to him because he’s mixed and his mother is black and he can’t really relate to me. I’m currently pregnant with our child who will be mixed. How am I supposed to try to be a good stepmom when I feel like he cannot relate with me ?
A child will not see colour… if you are having trouble relating it will not be because of colour. He will relate to and establish a connection with a trusted adult who is able to offer warm, responsive care – regardless of the persons cultural background. I am a stepmum and have a stepson. I am European and my stepson is Samoan. There are cultural differences between our cultures – especially because I come from an individualistic culture and he comes from a collectivist culture… but this did not stop us from bonding and establishing a wonderful relationship. I personally think that the differences can be used to help the bond grow. Your stepson is 4… if you show an interest in things from his culture that are different from yours, he will feel pride in being able to ‘teach’ you about these things and he will be curious about things from your cultural heritage. My stepson loves being able to tell me things, be with me when I try new foods and be with me as I experience new traditions and cultural practices. He also liked being able to try new things from my culture too. This is an opportunity… not a barrier… embrace it!
what about if the relation between you and your stepdaughter is perfect, she is nice and only have 5 years old. but her mother try to put her daughter against to me even against her father. they’re never was married, even he fight for him rights, we are married and we are thinking to go to the court, I prefer defend my marriage not matter what.
that woman always yell at my husband and her daughter, is a really difficult moments.
This was a much needed post! The kids DO have a mom and as a new step-mom, it’s easy to feel you have to take on that responsibility when they are here, but it’s their father who is the parent. I am there for them, even though times are tough right now, but yes, taking a step back is imperative to the kids’ relationship and your marriage. Thank you for this!
Thank you for this article. I am a stepmom of 4 (3 teenage girls and a boy) in a new marriage with no kids of my own. There are times when I feel as though my head will explode trying to make everyone happy yet getting so little back in return. It’s is refreshing to hear from someone who has been there, done that, and has the experience to share her story. I guess sometimes we just have to “keep on keeping on” in order for God to do his work in us. Thanks again. This truly gave me hope. 🙂
I really needed to hear all of this. I am a step mom to a 9 year old, we started out so close, then I found out she had been talking bad about me to her mom, and our relationship has never been the same. No matter how hard I try I can’t get all the hurtful things she said about me out of my head, how do I move on and forgive when I know her kindness towards me is fake. She doesn’t know that I know what shw has said about me, and she has a big problem with twisting the truth. Shes hee daddys only child so of course she does no wrong in his book, he nevee backs me up, I always end up the bad guy. ….any advice?
You are responding to her as if she’s an adult. She’s NINE. I have a nine year old who says all sorts of things, depending on her mood. Your stepdaughter may simply have been feeling guilty about how much she likes you, and saying bad things about you to her mom was her way of keeping her mother from being hurt over her feelings for you. Nine year olds don’t always make total sense- they’re still figuring out the complexities of relationships and how things work.
I hold my stepdaughters 100% responsible for their words and actions now because they are adults. I cut them some slack when they were children/teenagers– just as I would hope adults cut ME some slack before I was an adult.
Hope this helps. 🙂
Learning begins when they are children- once someone becomes an adult, it’s too late to instil values. So, perhaps, take it with a grain of salt, but they need to learn while they are children that words can be weapons and that once said, cannot be retracted. They should be held accountable. Perhaps not in the same way as an adult but harsh words shouldn’t be ignored- it needs to be talked out.
Hi everyone,
I have never replied to a open forum before but this subject matter is unique and emotional to me. First rule is very true and a hard one for many stepmoms, especially those who have 100% custody of the children. My husband has 100% custody becuase his ex-wife tried to kill me in front of his kids when they were 9. They love me now, it’s been 5 years and I am all they have becasue she isn’t allowed to see them. I have felt a horrible responiblity to become “their mother” which I have recently learned, I will NEVER be able to be for them. As much as they love me and as much as they don’t understand why their mom did a bad thing and is “sick”, they sitill love her, they still have memories of being 4 and 5 and 8 and christmas and birthdays. She will ALWAYS be there REAL mom. I have a place, but it’s not her place. It has actually been a relief for me. There is something biological that I believe occurs that I don’t share with my husband even though I spend more time raising our children. I don’t have my own, so I can’t say for sure but I agree with # 1 wholeheartedly and when I realized on my own it helped me alot. This also allows you to step back and work on your marraige. Ultimatley if you or your spouse is in a 2nd marriage it’s imprtant for the children to see good relationship rolemodeling.
Maybe you should get your own family, that is the problem.
She is nine years old. She is a child. Don’t expect her to be mature!!! I am sure she loves you. But she was trying to please her mom. Her kindness towards yo is not fake. Kids lie. that is why they don’t allow kids to be witnesses in trials for the most part, because they can so easily be led to say anything at all. You are acting like a nine year old’s actions are the same as an adults, and frankly thats kind of scary. YOU NEED TO BE MATURE. I wouldn’t worry about what she says to her mother or why. She isn’t being phony. She is being a child.
Thank You! I needed it! 🙂
This is what I was looking for when I googled how to be a great step mom.
I’m new to being a step mom, like. 9months fresh to 3 girls 4,6,10 and are trained to HATE me by their real mother. So I will save this article to my phone and reference it till I know it like the back of my hand 😉
-thank you!!-
Kate
Check out Stepmom Magazine and the large number of stepmom groups on Facebook and Google+. Also Stepchicks.ning
Should the marriage be defended at all costs? if the marriage is driving a wedge between the husband and his birth child, to the point where the child and the father are constantly fighting and the child is going to move out without a way to come back, is that a relationship worth saving? His kids. come. first.
Then, frankly, single parents should not get remarried. They should stay with the biological parent at all costs and stop expecting someone other than the bio parent to raise their kids.
Kids” needs should come first, which is different than putting kids first at all costs – something which, in my opinion, usually turns out disastrously for both kids and adults, whether in a biological or a blended family. Children can be very changeable and do not have the emotional maturity to be calling the shots in any family. Again, I am not referring to the actual needs of children; I am talking about parents who put their kids’ wants and whims before their relationship with their partner. This typically ends up with couples who feel disconnected from one another and kids who are bratty and entitled, not to mention, insufferable, whenever they hear the word, “no.” This can be extremely difficult to navigate in situations of divorce and remarriage, where the parent feels continually forced to choose between his loyalty to his children and his love for his spouse. Unless your child’s step parent is a truly terrible person, keep in mind that your children will grow up and move on with their lives. Maintaining a positive relationship with your partner will mean far more to your own, as well as to your child’s (or children’s) ongoing happiness, than will wrecking that relationship to appease a child’s capriciousness.
Very articulate and wise. Just to add to your statement that children grow up and move on- that is very true and there is nothing more painful than watching your parent lonely in their later years. It’s heart wrenching. My bio father did not remarry after my parents divorce. The heaviness in my heart when I would see his eyes as we left to go home from a visit. He would smile but his eyes were so sad.
I think the most important thing to remember is that kids come first when the step-parent has crossed the boundary into abusive treatment of the step-child. I am a step-child of 3 different cycles of marriages (each parent has been remarried a couple times) and all I can say is I was really easy kid (great grades, went to church 3 times a week, never stayed out past curfew, kept to myself for the most part) but I experienced a lot of weird abuse from step-moms. My dad’s 3rd marriage ended for a few reasons, but one in particular was her tendency to verbally berate me over things like “eating the last pickle” (she actually duct-taped the pickle jar shut at one point), and using her daughter’s hair brush (we shared a room and were close and friendly with each other and used each others’ hair brushes and lotions, etc. and she blatantly said “Mom, I don’t care if she used my hairbrush” and my stepmom ignored her and just kept screaming at me about personal possessions). It was insane. These are the milder situations.
Outside of the physical/verbal abusive situation, I really do believe that the marriage is TREMENDOUSLY important and should be saved. And I agree with the appropriation that “The kids’ NEEDS come first, but the marriage should be the adults’ priority between each other.”
Uh, NO. Kids do not always come first whether in a nuclear family or blended. In either case you’ll have rotten self entitled children who have no concept of what a relationship should be. And in both cases the marriage would be doomed to fail. So does this mean a parent should be alone and unhappy until the child marries? Having a child is a life long concept and just because child support, in most cases, stops at 18 doesn’t mean parenting does. As a child from a blended family and a mother in a blended family, if my husband ever said to me his child comes first I would have seriously doubted his maturity and parenting skills, and diffentantly would never have married him.
Toni, you and I are kindred spirits. This notion that children come first is ludicrous. I developed a wonderful relationship with my StepDad because I was not reared as though I was the centre of the universe. As a result I was blessed for 27 years to have this man in my life who care for me and supported me. He didn’t owe me this. He deserved respect and to be treated as a cherished member of our family. I held his hand for hours in the wee hrs. of the morning of January 7th. 2010 before he passed. I miss him tremendously- everyday.
Just because kids do not come first does not mean that remarriages, blended marriages are natural or blessed by God. In fact, that is just one more horrible element to add to an already fractured family unit. Shame on you trying to justify your humanist beliefs.
This is interesting bc I feel that my husband’s son *my stepson* should ALWAYS come first* BUT I feel that ifmy husband knows me at all / and my love ffor my step-son it shouldn’t have to be that way…frm the day my stepson moved in I set 1rule if u disagree w/ anything when it comes to ur son my stepson I want to know ALWAYS. …but I ask that it is between us not in front of my stepson
Amen Toni.
The thing is… If you read how to parent, and parenting supported by research and studies, you’ll find that no matter what the marriage is, kids should never come first. Yes, they should be loved and supported, and there are many ways to do that. But when they are put first, they grow up maladjusted psychologically and behaviorally. The reason the marriage comes first: Kids do not need another break-up or divorce. They need modeling of adults, parenting, and a cohesive marriage after they watched another one fall apart. They need it more than anything. It does them more harm than good to make them the center of an adult marriage. Pick up the top parenting books today. Also check out great articles on familylife.org.
You are obviously joking, right. Remember that once you have screwed up YOUR relationship or marriage, and your kids move out, get married, have kids of their own, you will look around and find NOTHING. And you think that’s ok ?
No. The marriage comes first. The best thing you can do for the kids is to show them that a marriage is worth fighting for. they already have seen one couple give up on being together. Don’t make it two. Then they will have a better chance to have a successful marriage of their own. If a child can not deal with their dad being married then they must do what they need to do. If the child is old enough to move out, then thats perfectly good solution too. Kids do not come before your spouse, for their own sake as well as yours.
No, when a man takes a woman as his wife, she is supposed to come first. It’s not an easy task. It’s a task that usually is failed as well. However, giving a woman his last name and taking her as a wife makes her his equal. Period. If he can’t do this, don’t marry him. Period.
Then as a stepmother, allow the parents to co-parent. If you can’t do this–don’t marry him. The. End.
i am 25 and my boyfriend has two children from different mothers. he has just recently separated from the second child’s mother and she has been denying him access to see the child. one weekend he came to my place and him and his first daughter spent the weekend with me. i was the one that suggested the visit. but i had a chance to feel how it is going to be in the future. every time i think of how much drama i am still going to face i get cold feet and i feel like leaving. i am not ready to be a stepmom of two. i just feel like i am too young and i can’t have so much responsibilities on me. i don’t even have a child of my own and now that he had his second born almost two years ago he is not ready to have a child anytime soon. though i tell him that i want a child when i thirty, what happens if i get pregnant now. part of me really wants to be a mother. but he can’t be the father. he already has his own. i am really scared. i think i made a mistake. what is worse is that he wants to marry me.
I love this blog. It really put a lot of things in perspective for me. I can’t thank you enough. My marriage is in real trouble right now, and I want to make it work. Counseling is first on my agenda, and then I will put into effect the lessons you have taught me today. Your way wiser then I am.
Thank you so much for this! I am a newly step mom to a beautiful 4 year old girl. Her parents were never married which I feel isn’t as stressful as divorced parents but, still has it’s challenges. I can relate to every single point you made and I feel that it has released responsibility I have taken on and put on myself when it is not my place. I can also relate because I was adopted and my adoptive parents divorced when I was her age. I know I shouldn’t compare relationships but ours was a little rocky during my teenage years but now it is terrific and we have an awesome relationship. But I would just like to thank you for sharing again. It gives me great hope that it WILL be okay even when it’s tough and confusing for everyone.
I am stepmom to a wonderful young boy who recently turned eight. Over the past year things have gone great. However,.he has recently started to assert his independence. This is great…for the most part. His recent acknowledgement of my being his stepmom in addition to this however is somewhat a struggle. I do not want to be unreasonable in my expectations of him, but I also want to maintain the disciplined atmosphere we have maintained thus far. I think consistency in the home environment is best, but I question myself. Also I have a hard time being forgiving towards a woman, that I feel gave up her son for a man she had known for a few months. Furthermore, I am the one that has to console him when he asks me why his mommy doesn’t love him and doesn’t want to see him…. I am nearing my end of excuses for a woman that I don’t even like… I just don’t want him to see my disrespect or dislike towards her. (Seriously, what woman would strand her child like that.). Does anyone have any helpful hints to dealing with this?
I am in an incredibly similar situation. My husband’s daughter is 8 and a few years ago, her mother walked out on the family to be with another man. I also find myself making excuses for a woman I don’t respect. However, I have no answers on how to deal with it. I suppose all I can say is that you are not alone.
Much like everyone else I am going to say thank you for this. I needed to hear these things today. I am a new stepmom (I have been married nearly a year now) to two girls- 10 and 15. Like you, my stepdaughters and I got along great to start out, I feel in love with their dad but also with them too. They are such sweet, intelligent, and awesome girls. We had a lovely honeymoon period until just recently. The 15 year old told her dad that she dreads coming over to our house and a bunch of other things. I was devastated. She decided to skip a few weekends with us and when she finally did come. I ended up being aways visiting my family (not purposely running away mind you, it just worked out that way).The bonus to this was that they got to spend some special time with just dad. We have been trying to make sure that the girls have special time with dad each weekend that way it doesn’t seem like I have taken over all portions of his life and that he can still make special time for them. I thought things were getting a little better (I realize that they may not ever get totally better or that it might take until the girls are out of their teenage years) but it turns out that the 15 year old started texting the 10 year old how much she dislikes me, doesn’t want to come to the house, etc. Once again, my heart hurts. My husband and his daughter have had a really special bond and my heart hurts that I am causing them to have such strain, even though I know that I have done everything possible to ease that strain and it really isn’t my fault. I still feel like a horrible wife and stepmom. Part of the problem may be that I am pregnant with a little girl. So not only did I “take” her/their dad away but now I am “replacing” them with a baby. Anyway, it was nice to hear from someone else that had problems and made it through the trenches. I will keep holding on to the faith that I can do this, we can do this, and that we won’t (hopefully) end up as part of that 70% statistic.
Brie, we all deal with that stuff. It is horrible. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with some of the same things I definitely dealt with, like the text messages. Brie, they are lucky to have you. They are young and voicing immature feelings and thoughts. They don’t/won’t understand the meaning you have in their lives. Please don’t take what kids and teens say personally. I know it’s hard, but don’t. They don’t realize. But your husband may need to step in to defend you, frankly. You probably do plenty for them, and they, like any regular kid with any regular parent, likely don’t “get” how much you mean. Also, make sure to build in one-on-one time with your husband and his older daughter. They love that, and there will be less focus on you. You’ll also get some downtime or time to do other things with friends.
Aw. I am sorry, but you can’t take the actions of a kid so personally. Teenagers can hate anything and anyone at all. It doesn’t mean they hate them, it just means…their hormones are overactive or something. Take it from me just develop a “thats nice dear” attitude. No matter what they do or say just smile and pay no real attention. They will get over it. The one thing you do NOT want to do is to reward her for being a complainer. So act like you normally would. Your home is your home. You shouldn’t give it up for her to be comfortable. If she wants to be there, thats great. If she doesn’t thats sad, but up to her.
I could have cried when I read that first brutal truth. I am not yet a stepmom, but have played that role to my boyfriend’s children (11 and 8) for a year and a half now. He has primary custody (their mom sees them every other weekend), but their mom has never been truly present in their lives. The kids and I get along really well. They confide in me, I hug them and discipline them and do everything else a mother should do. I have no children of my own and devote all of my time, energy and finances to their well-being. I run them to school and practices and go to all of their events. I help them with their homework and projects. I rub their backs and talk to them EVERY SINGLE night. But I am only starting to realize now, that I will NEVER be their mom. I was the child of a terrible divorce, and served as the mediator of my parents’ arguments from a very young age, so I thought I would be better suited than most to deal with a situation like this. I’ve found that it’s the same hurt from a different side. You feel slighted. My boyfriend is very supportive and understanding, but I still feel like an outsider in my own home. I’ve heard nothing but horror stories from other stepmoms, and none in a similar situation. How do I accept my role when the future of it seems so bleak?
Wow Brittany your story sounds as if I wrote it with exception that my fiance has kids and I don’t. This is sooo very hard and I’m really trying to figure out if being a stepmom is what im called to do.
Being a stepmom is one of the hardest things to do in the world. I have been with my husband for 5 years, married for 8 months. He has an 8 year old son and I do just like Brittany said, devote all my time, energy and finances into being a good wife and supportive stepmom. But it is true, you will never be their mom. You don’t realize the emotions that go into it. My stepson so often tells me all the things he dislikes about his mother and stepfather and how he wishes he could live full time with his dad and I. His mother would never allow it and he changes his mind every time the wind blows. It crushes my heart. My husband is one of those men who feels his son comes first no matter what. As a result, I am living 1000 miles away from all my family and friends. I relocated to be closer to his son and it was the biggest mistake of my life. We are so stressed financially and I now am suffering from major health issues thought to be brought on by stress. Put a lot of thought into this decision but most importantly, make sure your husband is mature enough to understand that his relationship with you comes first. If not, the results will be terrible.
This is similar to how I am feeling….gave up a lot of the life I knew to join my husband and a new life in a new town…..and his kids….and his ex…..he would sacrifice his own health and sanity for his kids…which in a way I understand….but as I do not have my own child, I don’t understand enough….I love him with all my heart, I love his kids….but this is way harder than I ever anticipated and am having trouble…..
Hi Brittany. I’m the stepdad in the relationship (we do have a son as well) and have been for 7 years. I am only now coming to terms with the fact I will never be Dad. I love my stepdaughter as much as I love my son but we argue like cats and dogs, I’m sat now after calming down from another argument. It’s not all bad though. I picked our kids up from school tonight (as I do every night) and she just wanted a cuddle and to hold my hand while we walked to the car. Learn to appreciate the little things and you will learn to accept your role.
You will never be their mom, BUT you get to be their stepmother which is something no one else gets to be. 🙂 I have been a stepmother for 4 years now and when I realized that, it helped me a lot. It also gets easier with time. It also helps to have a good relationship with the biological mother, which I do, so maybe try to work on that. And don’t hold your feelings inside-make sure your boyfriend knows how you feel. Make sure he appreciates you too. If he is failing to appreciate how much you help out with his kids, then point it out, girl.
Brittany, I can totally relate. I, too, have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and he has two boys, ages 4 and 8. I struggle on a daily basis and sometimes wonder how much I can handle. I try my hardest and put my all into helping raise those boys. I wish I could have a good relationship with their mother but I really struggle with the decisions that she makes with the boys. My boyfriend is wonderful and tries to be understanding but its still hard. You are not alone!
It is very hard, Brittany. But you may one day have a good relationship with one of your stepkids. You may not. You never know. Just do what you need to do, don’t do too much or overinvest, and make sure you have time for yourself and your own needs. Unlike the author of this post, although I will never be my stepdaughter’s mom, I know that I have played a major role in their lives and have changed at least one’s for the better. I may not be “mom” but I am “a mom”, frankly.
Maybe you’ll get lucky, but to be honest your story sounds just like mine. I did classroom volunteering, chaperoned field trips, was a girl scout leader, did all the school clothes shopping runs and the like. I was there to help with homework, projects, sick days… first break ups and boyfriends… I was the one running to the store at night for cookies and supplies for something due the next day. I even got up early to take her to Starbucks before math tests to make her day a little better.
At the end of the day, my stepdaughter made it about my reaction to what she’d done wrong (like getting on her case about her getting out of someone’s car without her telling us she was getting a ride for about the dozenth time, posting inappropriate pictures on her facebook page, and stealing) rather than about taking responsibility for her actions.
At this point, I’ve seen what happens when you over invest yourself. Be careful. You’re not these kids’ mother and at some point they will likely resent you just for that simple reason.
Yes i am aware he could get his own place, as is he. Which is why he does everything I ask of him, mind you I do still have to ask, but I’m ok with asking. He is a very respectful person.
SD complaints started when she found out that my son currently doesn’t chip in financially and why should they have to. They refer to it as “RENT”. Well as all of you parents who have allowed your kids back at home, $200 for a family of 3, certainly is NOT rent. It’s to cover the extra cost that you are adding to your bills. Which I myself cover, including water / sewer, gas heat, gas water heater, gas cooking, and electric. So MY personal bills have gone up, not her Bio fathers bills. Before SD and Fam moved in we also had her younger sibling who chose to move out before they got there. My trade off with my Bio son was to clean, which I personally don’t care to take the time to, and my Hubby doesn’t do at all. While any of our kids lived home no one to pay in if they were in college was my motto.
Before SD and Fam moved in I was told that I wouldn’t have to ever clean the bathroom or do any dishes. Well you can all guess that it didn’t last long before that stopped happening. In fact a very short time. SD had originally stated how nice it would be for her to purchase a shed for her father because he’s so nice in letting them all move in, and she wanted to show him her appreciation. Wasn’t that a nice thought.
My current oven didn’t work for some time. I had planned on getting a new soon. SD suggested, that in Lou of handing me $200 every month that she would put it on her CC and make payments because they were not working yet. I agreed that it would be fine. Then not even a spoon got washed that they themselves didn’t actually dirty. When I questioned why, I was told that they pay rent so they don’t have to do our dishes, or clean anymore. SD also made a recent request to have their “rent” lowered. YEH she really did. I said that I myself could not afford to pick up the extra costs. So “NO”.
I then requested her to pick only two days out of the entire month to clean the bathroom. which SD marked. SD cleaned the first and third Sundays…in February. Myself and my Bio son did the rest. Just last Sunday I noticed that the bathroom wasn’t cleaned. I looked on the calendar, and it was SD’s turn. I waited till Monday…not clean still…so Monday after work I politely asked if SD had yet. She said No, and I’m not going to. I asked again, she said NO. I asked why…she said because the toilet was discussing, and she shouldn’t have to.
Wait it gets better…I said well who do you think is going to clean it, it is your turn /….Hold on to your socks !!! … she said well, I’m not, I don’t shit here. I said excuse me. She repeated herself. Then stated how she only shits at work. I said I don’t care, Bio son and I don’t ask who shit before we clean.
I then realized that she had no intentions at all to do anything in that bathroom. So I bit, I yelled, “Don’t do a Dam thing and I guess well just go back to me doing everything.”
I stopped into the LR where Hubby was enjoying himself watching TV, he asked. What the hell happen in there, I told him to go ask his daughter. Well, I got home a bit late and the toilet was cleaned. But come to find out SD said I was intimidating and berating to her, and my Hubby cleaned the toilet.
I received a text that evening. That they would be moving out this weekend, and that the baby would be going to daycare because she didn’t want them to be the cause of my stress anymore.
So, I am being punished from spending time with my grandson because I yelled at my SD.
I believe they are at my home packing right now.
FIRST PART
I am a SM of four (2 B’s 26,28 / 2 G’s 20,25) for over 9 years and I have a Bio son who is 25.
This is my first time reaching out to a forum for some acknowledgement of how truly
gut wrenching of a difficult task it is to be a Step Parent at times.
The pain I am currently feeling has been the top of the bar !
My SD and he Bo with new Baby in tow came to live with us 7 months ago.
It was to be for a “short term” which you can all see that it wasn’t.
We have had a good solid relationship over these past years. But as of late,
its in shambles.
Their little family consumes almost half of the space in our home, which is ok
because it’s the upstairs. My son who was upstairs, is now downstairs in a space
of 7 X 12.5 foot room ? with a queen bed . yes queen size LOL
Hang in there. Being any kind of parent be it step or biological can be HELL.
I understand, my heart breaks that I’m not my kids Mom. I do all that I can, yet no matter what that can’t change. It has caused me a lot of sadness, but you have been put in their lives by God to fulfill an important role that was meant for you. I have two kids from my abusive first marriage and unfortunately split custody. My husband has full custody and the boys see their Mom 6 days a month and my SD onły sees her Mom a couple of weeks a year. I have filled the Mom role and will continue to do so. I was loved and cared for by a great step dad who I wished was my bio dad, nothing against my bio-dad my step-dad just took the time to know me and help me more and time means love in my eyes. So do your best “Mom” remember Joseph was Jesus’s step-dad- and wow how about being compared to “my Dad is God.” Not that Jesus ever said that but I think it may have crossed Joseph’s mind. You are a blessing, continue to be, and no negative self-talk. You are awesome.
My husbands stepdad is his dad. I don’t care what this “truth” is all about. When he says dad he means his stepdad. When he thinks of the man who taught him how to be a man he means his stepdad. When he talks about his bio dad he says “John” and he talks about him rarely. There are no hard and fast rules where human heart is concerned.
Hi Brittany, I am right there with you. And believe me I AM my kids mom. I may not be their biological Mom, but just like when a child is adopted – I became there mom the moment they moved in with us and have been for over a year. My boyfriend has custody – she is supposed to have them every other weekend however she rarely even talks to them, let alone tries to see them and only when its convenient for her. She wasn’t really there mother before I even came along. When they were still married he was mother and father. No I have stepped in and given them what they needed – a mother. However I still try and help her to be there mother to – I take them to her to see them, buy her food for while they are with her because even though she works (relatively speaking), does not pay anything to help raise her children, and has food stamps – somehow she has no money to buy her kids food so they can stay with her on a weekend. But for me it is important that the kids see her – so the few times she bothers to try and spend time with them – we take them to her and take food. I don’t want to take her place – I would love for her to grow up and be the mother that our kids need. I mean what could be better then one mother? Two mothers to love you right! Until then however – if she isn’t willing to step in and fill those shoes you had better believe I will! So yes, you will never be their biological mother. However blood does not make a mother – actions and heart do. Stay strong Brittany we will have lots of trials along the way. But if you stay true to those kids, in the end they will love you even more for everything you have done. Yes it might be different for us if our kids mother was actually a mother – then you wouldn’t need to fill those shoes and you could be something even better – a stepmother ( just not from the Cinderella story of course!). Unfotunately that is not the case for us. Not every piece of advice fits every situation. Do not let some one tell you what you are or are not – be who you WANT to be and who those kids need.
Brittany, and to all others who have replied to Brittany’s post, let’s all exchange emails and be each other’s support group? I’ve been going through the exact same situation for 3 years. My boyfriend might marry me which is great but, I feel my relationship with the oldest has diteriated after his mom kicked him out and I took him into my arms…I’ve been searching for a support group with my same situation and haven’t had any luck in my city. It’d be Nice for all of us to support each other and have discussions?
Yes, the marriage should be defended at all costs. The fact that a spouse’s first marriage didn’t work doesn’t mean that a new marriage is also doomed to fail. Any good parent knows that his/her children are a priority. At the same time, a really good parent also knows the importance of respecting his/her new spouse and making their union a priority as well. It’s a balancing act and it’s not always easy but a mature, respectful spouse can make it work. I wish that every biological parent would see how their negative behavior towards step parents affects their children. You teach them with your own behavior how to dislike a person who is simply trying to be there for them. Why can’t biological parents see that? Believe me, no step parent wants to take your place. It’s your child, and therefore your responsibility. But the truth is that for whatever reason your relationship with your child’s mother/father failed. The sooner you accept that the better you will feel and the better it will be for YOUR children. As the article states: a step parent cannot fix what he she/he did NOT break. Let the anger go, make the most of the situation especially if your child is being taken care of and respected by someone who frankly, doesn’t have to do any of that. Step parents help raise your children both by being a good example (I’m sure there are exceptions) and they also contribute financially whether you realize it or not. If they treat your child with respect why can’t you just accept it?
This is the most amazing advice I have ever read on this heart wrenching subject. And yes, it is heart wrenching, nobody goes into a second marriage with the idea in mind that it will fail. Nobody goes into any relationship thinking that their might be unconscionable pain by doing so. When a child causes pain, whether by their own fault, or by the fault of the bio parent filling their heads with negativity, it is the worst kind of physical and emotional pain a non bio parent can feel, because as a good stepmom (and I’m sure there are exceptions) can do nothing about it except hide the pain away deep inside and smile as though everything is just fine, all the while trying to figure out why she is hated so much, and jumping through every hoop imaginable to try to fix it. I have been bitten, pushed, lied about, by my stepson and I continue to love him because he is my husband’s son, and because I can see the good in him. But I have just recently, after three years, decided to pull back completely from him, unless he truly needs me (at which point I will be there for him in a New York minute) because I am starting to feel abused. He is 19, and he is special needs, and I guess some of you reading that last part would deem me a Step Monster right off the bat, because he is special needs, but he is not physically challenged, in fact he is very strong, and he is quite smart and definitely knows the difference between right and wrong. So say what you must about my being a rotten person, and that I should rot in hell, but please remember that I do love this child and I have continued to love him even after he has bitten me several times, he has bitten and punched his father, he has thrown punches at his Bio Mother’s boyfriend, and he has accused people who care for him deeply, of hitting him, and almost destroyed one family’s lives because of that horrible lie. His bio mother, who truly is a good mother the best way she knows how by the way, has unfortunately allowed him to develop these behaviors because she would rather allow him his way, rather than take the time to teach him, risking a fight, and so now he has learned that he need only lash out, and he will get his way rather quickly. And if he is having an outburst because he didn’t get his way, everyone HAS to stand back or they will get hurt, or worse yet, lied about. He is a beautiful young man, but his outbursts, and extremely bad and room darkening attitude, (unless he gets his way, at which time he is the sweetest person you would ever meet) are wearing on me. Yes, I knew about him when I met my husband, but I was not aware, and never was made aware of, his behavior. His mother lives rather far from us, and chose to after having an affair on my husband when said son was 2 years old. He spent most of his time with his mother, and the family that took care of him (my husband works 24/7 most days of the week, and has him on the few days that he does not work 24/7) while his bio mother made a life for herself. When his bio mother decided that she needed some “Space” from him, he began to spend more time with us. And for a while things were pretty good, minus the outbursts. Now whenever he is here, he depresses everyone so much, that its physically affecting myself and my husband, and quite frankly, I think it is affecting my step son as well, because I truly don’t think he means to be this way, I don’t think he can help it (lots of people tell me he can help it, and that he is just spoiled, which might be true to a point, but I still don’t think that even that is his fault.) But the pulling back part from everyone is hurting him too, of that I am sure, although everyone around me tells me that he isn’t capable of feeling that emotion, I disagree. Having said all of this, I am not allowed to be responsible for him, his mother has made that very clear, and if I so much as tell him to brush his teeth he tells his mother outrageous lies, sometimes its that I told him he never had to brush his teeth, sometimes its that I, or whomever happens to be helping him, have physically forced him to brush his teeth. I no longer have anything to do with his grooming, I stay out of it. I also have stopped cooking while he is here, because he now refuses to eat if I cook, stating that I serve him cold food, or if he requests fish, he then will state that I tried to serve him something he didn’t want for dinner, even though he requested it, I cooked it and served it. He also has stated twice now, that he wants to shoot me and that he wants to shoot his Mother’s boyfriend, and so we also no longer have any guns in the house. I guess having said all of this, if things don’t get better, or if we can’t find a happy medium in our marriage that can somehow balance these situations, then I feel as though I need to move on away from the marriage, I don’t want to end up resenting my husband, but there are so many times lately, that I would give my eyeteeth for one day to myself in order to try to regroup, or find a little light and happiness. I realize that so many people have it so much worse than I do… but if my hands are tied, and even so I am forced to have to participate with his son, even to the point of terrible abuse to me and to my husband, then what else can I do? The mother as good as a mother as I believes she is, has consistently tried to use her son as a pawn, and has consistently tried herself, to tear my husband and I apart. I cannot remember the last time my husband and I went more than two days, without someone causing a huge amount of turmoil in our life. Literally, every two days there is an explosion of some kind, that normally carries over to the next day, and that includes the bio mother texting, calling, verbally abusing both my husband and I… and I just don’t know that I can continue to live like this. I love my husband more than anything, and I don’t ever want to be anyone other than the person that encourages his relationship with his son, because children do come first, although I do believe there needs to be some kind of balance between children coming first to the point of the step mother being put so far last that she is the one who starts to suffer, and the marriage ends, and both parties end up miserable and lonely while the child finally gets what he and his bio parent wants. And as much as I want to fight for my marriage, I just don’t see any of this getting any better. Because he is special needs, he will be with us for life, and that is understandable, but so will his bio-mother be with us for life because we will always have to deal with her, and she will always have the ruling thumb over myself and my husband. I know this makes me sound incredibly weak, and maybe some of you might even view me as selfish and insensitive, and honestly, if those are the things that I am, then those are the things I have become because of all of the aforementioned, and as much as I’d like to go on pretending that I can be alright with all of this, I just don’t think I can.
It sounds as if you are doing something very difficult. No sane person could blame you for being very overwhelmed. Special needs kids are HARD! Special needs step kids sound beyond impossible. You sound like an amazingly caring person. I say step back. Or you will simply get worn out. Take care of yourself as well.
Yes, it does actually mean your new marriage is doomed to fail. You will have more people to support, more bad blood to handle. Natural parents know from instinct the biological family has best interest for them. Marriage is about sacrifice and creating a family for life, not abandoning them, shaking it off and moving on to the new partner who has more mobility, grown children or no children of her own so he can abdicate his fatherly responsibilities for selfish pursuits. He (or she) does not have others in mind when mapping out the families future. Do not be misled. Relationships based on conveniences or personal desires, relationships against God’s plan, will be destined to fail.
At the end of the day you will raise your kids to live their own life. YES!! Protect your marriage. You won’t be spending the rest of your life being your children’s companion. God first, then marriage , then children!
This says it all.. GOD first.. If you have Him you can get through anything, He will never put you through a trial that you could not handle. Even one as hard as being a step parent can be. By His grace and mercy ALONE is how I get through. The same is true for everyone else. Were you once in a tough spot with your step kids and not getting along? Now things are great? That wasnt because of your “hard work” it was because God alone granted you the wisdom and peace and grace you needed to deal with that situation. Remember that. Always turn it back to God.
PS. I am a step kid, step parent, and mom to kids with a step mom! I see all perspectives.
I get this all so well I have been with my husband for 8 yrs now married for 6 yrs he has a son 9 yrs old I use to be so close with him then he wanted to live with us & go to school in our town we went to court after about a year of him bagging us to. now we don’t have him on weekends all he does is go to school & after school he don’t have much time to do much with us cause his dad works 3rd shift. I had a baby about 5 months after he started living with us then everything changed he started coming back from his moms very angry I would always try to be positive then he started sleep walking & night terrors and I had a new born & was left alone at night to deal with it all I got depressed & on meds then about a year later he started always staying with grandmaw at night & I didn’t fight it cause I hated dealing with the sleepless nights now he doesn’t even talk to me hardly & I have to constantly watch my daughter cause he is so ruff & hits her when im not watching she is so sweet & loves him but he I donno I just get scared. but you are right im not his mom I don’t try to be I always tried to be his friend but now im just a person who picks him up from school I wish it was more but he gets mad & cusses at me when I try to talk to him anymore he always says he is gonna go back to his moms but he has called us when hes at his moms & said he wants to come back earlier. I thank he might just get mad at her & she don’t care if he leaves but when he gets med at us we don’t let him call her we say you have school so you cant & he don’t even ask now. its the hardest thing I thank I have ever had to do caring & loving someone else’s child who is so ungrateful I have been right by his side since he was 17 months old when he needs to go to the dr I take him & to the dentist & I pack his lunch I do the parent teacher stuff maybe he I just at the age I hope so he has just recently shot me point blank with a nerf gun I know its just a toy but he isn’t aloud to even point guns at people & I was just looking at a book with my daughter I don’t understand I just back off some I don’t know what more to do.
I am the step mom to a sixteen year old that lost his mother. Although he had lived with us about a year before she passed, the tension has increased since. Before my husband gained custody, his son would visit for the summer and/or Christmas and would be accused of being “mean”, then I would get in trouble from my husband, and it would have been over picking up after yourself. I expect the same from my stepson as I expect from my own children, but because of that I’m unfair, by both my stepson and my husband. I know that I will never replace his mom, but I would like to be close to him. It becomes harder and harder to try to establish a repor with him, when he pushes me away. The tension that tthis causes between me and my husband is unbearable.
Get some counseling quick girl !!! I cant express that enough. It will be a neutral zone for you and your hubby to come to terms for everyone under your roof. Good Luck !!!!!
Reading as a stepdad who’s going through aome rough patches with my 8 year old stepdaughter I find your blog immensely beneficial. I just changed your stepmother/wife into stepfather/husband.
Thank you for sharing.
my stepdaughters worse because she divorce and had kid 4 year and 9 year old children she never care she hire maid we had to gave food them stay in house everything free how to make understand she make us suffer more i had 3 kid growing up how to make her move out now near 3 year I very stress my hasband also
I am a new step mom to three kids, two daughters 7 and 14 and a boy of 21. the 14 and the 21 dont stay with us but they visit often. I thought I had a good relationship with all of them until recently. After the girls came back from their respective holidays with their respective mother’s and their family. The 7 year old just told me that she wants to stay with her mom which mother got custody but chose to tell the father that he has to come and get his child cos she cant take care of it. Now she wants to go stay there cos she was told I am not her mom and the poor child is depressing over this.
The 14 year old the mother died some time ago and i came into her life when she was 12. the moms relatives ask her over for holidays but now i have realised that when she praises me they make her feel guilty that she is not a part of their family poor child has lost weight and she is constantly sad.
I need help on how to help them defend themselves against such negetivity. I know I am not their mother and never will be but I told them that how me and them relate has nothing to do with the outside world and it is for us to constantly defend our relationship cos none of these people live with us, they simply pss through our lives.
Ahhh, I am a step mom prowling the internet to see how we can get my step daughter to even like her real mom again. Her real mom is flawed and honestly, evil (towards my husband and me) and my step daughter has “run away” from her. My husband and I just want her to talk to her mom kindly regardless of her mom’s errors in judgement in the past. Our daughter is smart enough to see her mom’s manipulation but not quite mature enough to deal with it. Now her younger sister is in on the manipulation game telling her mother things like that I “want to be their mom”- which was a soundbite of talking the older one down from hating her mother. I do not want to be their mom. I love them and hope to always be there but I’m at best their “at home, friendly, authority figure.” Oh and we (my husband and I) do put our relationship first- we figure that a strong couple makes a strong family. We are a strict but laid back family (if that makes sense) and it’s funny- my oldest stepdaughter who says she feels “safe here” and not at her mom’s has even told her mom- “there are more rules here”- when I really think she means- there are more rules for adults here, too. We are just as respectful and we expect our children to be- sometimes it works, sometimes there’s work to do. The mom isn’t helpful- she is passive aggressive, physically and verbally aggressive and dominates the room/phone call/email. We just hope one day our girl loves her mom in spite of her flaws!
Thank you for writing this… I needed to read this message today and I’m glad I found it!
Thank you for writing this. I wish I had read this years ago. I have been a step-mother for almost 14 years now. When we married, my husband had primary custody of his two children. Their ages were 12 and 9. Their mother was not often in the picture so I threw myself into being the best step-mom I could be. I was a few years younger than my husband so let’s just say there were mess ups a time or two. But I tried so hard to get it right. I took them to appointments. I tucked them into bed at night. I cooked and cleaned and cheered them on at every event. They gave me mother’s day presents and cards telling me what a great mom I was. We did add other children to the mix over the course of the years, but I really did see them as my children too. I really did see myself as their mom. Years passed and the oldest got married, and I started notcing she did not look at me the same way. Then, about a year ago while talking with her one night it came out that she never really saw me as a mom. She told me she did not have one person she could look at as a mom. She also said that it was not fair to place those expectations on her. I was special to her, just not a mom to her. I also found out her mother-in-law was everything she ever wanted in a mother. I was devastated. I did everything I knew to do, and it still was not enough. I have prayed very hard that I would overcome this. The process is slow but it is happening. Recently my step-daughter had a child and she had her husband, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law in the delivery room. I had to wait in the waiting room. That hurt too. As I listened that day, I finally realized that she actually calls her mother-in-law mom. Wow did that take some massive praying. Whew!! Anyway, I have now stepped back. I am more in a support role now to my husband. It has been a struggle, and I know you are only hearing one side. However, if you are a struggling step-parent, this is practical advice I wish I had followed so many years ago. It may have saved me some major heartache.
Dear Beth,
I can sooooo understand your heart ache. As i shared about my story as a “feeling under appreciated” step mom. My SD has recently dismissed me as a care giver to her 8 month old because i yelled at her and asked her to clean a disgusting toilet.
I have been there for her through many relationships she has struggled with boys, high school issues, prom dresses, college, difficulties with her Bio mom and dad whom i married, helped her with her living arrangements, health issues, her relationships with her siblings and struggles with substance abuse and been there for her traveling far to be there for the birth of her son when her own Bio Mother would not. Offering my time to her new baby when her own Bio mother failed to follow through.
The pain cuts deep.
I have never felt such pain in my life.
Unfortunately her bio dad whom i married isn’t any help at all. We have been together for 9+ years and married for 5 of them.
I wish that I had some words of wisdom for you, but I don’t. But what I do have is an extreme amount of empathy. Your are a wonderful person for giving of yourself to another person no matter where they are from or whom they were originally gifted to. Remember that you DO count and that you need to make yourself feel important no mater what other people don’t see.
I have been with my husband for five years. We both have a dauhter from our previous relationships. We have two boys together. He has been the only father figure to my daughter. My daughters father chose not to be around. I have only seen and visited with my step daughter three times. Her mother picked up and moved and we have no where abouts for three years. We hired a private detective and just found her right before christmas 2013. My husband is going to take it slow because he has no idea what she has been told. But I am freaking out about being a step mom.
Lindsay, what a great dose of advices ! I can relate in many of what you call “mistakes”. I have been doing some of them ( if not all ! ) and the 1st thing: I need to step back. I´ve felt guilty, wicked, selfish and more, and I am starting to realise I am only human. Thank you for your post.
Hi. I am also a step mom. My bf is working 24 hours on Sunday and we will have his kids this weekend. So he asked the mom if he could drop off their kids Sunday morning but she said no for whatever reason. Their mother allows the kids to live with us every other weekend although my bf has 50% parenting right. This won’t be the first I will be taking care of his kids while he is working for 24 hours. Anyways, at first I refused to take care of them on Sunday, first I am working Saturday the day before and I wanted to take a day off, second the older children has a dance class on Sunday from 11:30am til 4:30pm and I need to drive her for 45mins to the dance class then pick her up again after or stay and wait for 5 hours to save the drive, and third the mother last time got mad when she learned their father was working for 24 hours and the kids were alone with me. Last night, my bf got upset when I refused. And I felt it is unfair. He always agrees with his ex but I end up facing for the consequences. Please tell me what is my right. Thanks
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one in the world going through these issues, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. My 10 year old stepson had been in my life for 9 years and has lived with his father and I for 6 now. He is a handful to say the least! My husband received a text one day from his ex asking if we wanted our stepson to live with us because she couldn’t deal with him and we gladly accepted. Before my husband had custody we had him every other weekend plus certain weekdays for dinner and any extra time we could. We were very involved and his son loved being with us and at age 3 starting asking his mother if he could come live with us. At age 4 that finally became a reality. During the last 6 years his mother opted not to see him for an entire year because she said she didn’t want to deal with my husband…who knows…he’s great! He’s one of the most reasonable people and very nice to her even though every thing she had put him through, that’s a whole different story. In these last 6 years I have really stepped up and cared for my stepson but it didn’t matter, it’s never mattered. I try so hard to be nice to him, take care of him, do everything a Mom should do (I have my own son, so I do know) and I am constantly knocked down and rejected. A lot of you may say it’s probably because he was rejected by his own mother, yeah, well, it doesn’t make it hurt any less. I know I’m the adult but when you pour your heart and soul into a child that’s not yours and day after day are treated like crap and often disrespected it takes a toll. I love my husband but our marriage is hurting because of our situation. It doesn’t help that my stepson was diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and is in counseling every other week and has been for about 3 years now. It just hurts, I have been the one there to pick up the pieces, not his mother, she didn’t want him and yet I get treated like crap! The simple things that happen such as, in the morning he comes down stairs in a rotten mood but manages to hug his father and say good morning to him but won’t acknowledge me really hurts my feelings day after day after day! My husband says I shouldn’t let it bother me so much but it does, my son doesn’t treat my husband that way, they are very close so he doesn’t understand. I have often thought of leaving but I love my husband to much, we are going to start counseling so our marriage doesn’t go south and I’m going to be in the back ground from now on when it comes to my stepson. Thank you for letting me vent!
Check out all the stepmom communities out there… You are definitely not alone.
Check out all the broken families and suicides, while you are at it.
My Name is melissa lopez i have a testimony to say; I have been married for five years without any child, nor pregnancy and so i became very sad and lost hope in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant and this really make life so hard for me and this made my husband to turn away from me. My sister in-law told me about DR EKPEN from the Internet, how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explained to him. He told me not to worry and that everything we soon be okay. He cast a spell and it was a miracle, to my greatest surprise three days later my husband came back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few months later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are now a happy family. Thanks to DR EKPEN for saving my relationship and for also helping others too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact DR EKPEN for your solution now EMAIL him at ( ekpenlovetemple@gmail.com) for any help you want him to do for you. Thank you Great DR. once again and may your gods reward you for your good deeds. ekpenlovetemple@gmail.com
Glad you were able to get a “relief” from venting, but I prefer less-winded comments 😛
Lucy, I really feel for what you are going through! I was recently married and I have 2 stepdaughters. Although we initially got along great, the honeymoon period is fading quickly. Recently my 8 year old SD gave me a note saying that she thought marriage was the “worst thing ever.” Sure, most people will say that she’s having trouble accepting that her mom and dad will never get back together, and my husband says not to take it personally, but it still hurts! I feel like an outsider in my own home. As a stepmom, you’re not just becoming a wife and a mom and moving into a new home, you’re also trying to wedge your way into a family dynamic that has long existed and is deeply rooted in family history. Sometimes I feel like my husband and his girls are part of a special club and that I’m the new kid trying to be accepted. It’s painful and my self-esteem suffers. The worst part of it all is that I realize now that my husband can never love me the way he loves his children. It’s just a different bond. I feel like I have to surrender to my position in second place, and it breaks my heart. I agree with everyone that the marriage absolutely must come first, not for the stepmom’s sake, but actually for the children’s sake! Most likely, the only thing they know about marriage is how to mess it up and end up in divorce. Blended families have an opportunity to demonstrate a healthy relationship so that children know what to look for in a future spouse. I just don’t know how to convey this to my husband and get him on board. Although I know there are other stepmoms out there going through the same thing, when I’m home I feel very isolated.
I am one year into being the stepmom to two amazing boys – Their father has primary parent status, although we share custody with bio-mom 50/50. She is now getting remarried and we have started preparing for her taking my husband back to a mediator and trying to reclaim primary parent so that she and her new husband can move and change the kids school district. The actual 50/50 custody of the kids wouldn’t change, but it would mean a 45 minute drive for us to take the kids to school….Their marriage ended because she had “extra curricular activities” – He says we are not allowed to put the boys in the middle if it is in the best interest for the boys to lie down and take whatever she dishes out….it is not in the best interest if she is a manipulating, dishonest cheater, but I am not allowed to say that as a stepmom….I feel wretched and torn and hate fighting my husband about this – I love him dearly….I love his kids to bits….I am feeling terrible….
It’s really hard. You’ll likely win… But who knows. Family court is like a coin toss. Don’t feel terrible… Just support him… Keep it up!
Thank you Ashley! I am finding out community boards like this really do make a difference in how I feel about myself and the situation knowing that I am not alone feeling this things. I don’t know that I will have the opportunity to have a child of my own, so these two amazing boys might be my only kids….I question myself when people ask if I have kids — sometimes I say I have two step sons, sometimes I just say yes, I have two sons. I love them like they were mine – I accept them in my home and in my heart like they were mine, but then there are the painful reminders that they aren’t mine…when it comes to education especially….I try to make my voice heard to my husband, but they aren’t my genetic kids, so they don’t have any part of me in them and at the end of the day I just try to support him and whatever decisions he and his ex make – about school, about sports, about our lives….and I do a lot of yoga LOL….but seriously…thank you for the response today – it really made my day! I appreciate it!
-kcnyc
I am reading this while I wait for the appointment time of my consultation with a divorce attorney. I so didn’t want my daughters to be part of the divorce statistics but it seems inevitable. My husband and I have been married for five and a half years. He has a 13 year old from a prior marriage and we have two girls together, 5 and 2. What started out as a very good relationship between his son and me began deteriorating a few years back. Many, many issues, problems, lies, manipulations have gotten us to a point where I took a big step back to avoid arguments, confrontations and feelings of being ignored by a kid and oblivion by his father. I don’t discipline (he doesn’t need that when he has both parents and a step-father to do all that), I don’t give him rules, just try to uphold the family rules and expectations we have. He is a very smart child, who is extremely manipulative and has a remarkable ability to asses and say what he knows will get a reaction. For many reasons we don’t have a good relationship, or a relationship that’s warm and fuzzy. My husband and have been growing apart and it seems most of our fights are because of his son, although he is not necessarily causing them. My husband wants us to be closer and is pushing the issue. He argues that I don’t care, don’t ask, don’t talk to his son and take no interest in him. Partially true but as a result of constant behavioral problems, lies that are downright dangerous, and my husband’s own disappointments with his son. He is with us about 45% of the time and just knowing he’ll be here, causes stress and anxiety. I don’t feel comfortable in my home and it’s extremely difficult. I understand my husband wants a Brady Bunch but pushing the issue is making all matters worse. I have a step-father and of my mother pushed us into a closer relationship she would have ruined her marriage. It’s difficult enough to constantly have his ex in the picture. We have financial difficulties and none compare to the fact that my husband is obsessed with making my and his son’s relationship a priority but is destroying our marriage in the process and the lives and stability of the two daughters we have together.
Terrible, but I hear this story more and more. I’m sorry you went through all of that. It’s so sad that more dad’s don’t read just regular parenting books and learn that helping their kids with their problems is necessary and has nothing to do with the stepmom/wife.
I think divorce is terrible, but it happens, and sometimes kids DO need you to step in and be their mother. I for one, was a step child. My natural mother was not capable. My step mom IS my mom. I love her like she gave birth to me, even though I didn’t get her until I was 10. I didn’t live with her until I was 17, and I am 33 and I still need her. She stepped in and acted like the mother I needed. Divorce is difficult and confusing for children, and so is re-marriage. But don’t be afraid to love your children like they are your own.
I also somewhat disagreed with that sentiment. As we put it in our family, I am not their mom, but I am “a mom, a parent.” I am never going to replace their mom, and I am just fine with that. I do consider my stepkids my only kids, which they are, and I have told them so.
Of course she was able to “step” in, your mom already did all the footwork!
PS..Other females (grandparents, aunts, family friends, church family) could have all very well filled these shoes.
Thanks for all of this. Being a step parent is way tougher than I ever imagined. We all need to support one another.
I think you have made some excellent points!!
As a stepmom of five children raging in ages from 15-24 and no children of my own, the hardest thing for me to learn was to just tell my husband what it was that was upsetting me (children stealing money and being disrespectful). The three oldest all lived with us when they got to be too much to handle. I was always afraid to tell my husband what was upsetting me because I thought that he would be mad at me. Well, he wasn’t. He would get angry with the situation and angry that the children thought that was acceptable behavior, but not at me. I would say that we have a good marriage (7 years so far and together for almost 10) but me learning to do this one thing (after going to see a counselor) has made it even stronger. Keep the lines of communication open. Don’t be afraid to have a conversation because you are worried about the outcome.
Wow. A 70% failure rate of blended marriages. That’s a terribly depressing statistic to a newly single mom with kids like myself.
This is perfect. I appreciate your words – they make me in my world as a stepparent feel like what I deal with is normal. Thank you!!
I am a SM of four (2 B’s 26,28 / 2 G’s 20,25) for over 9 years and I have a Bio son who is 25.
This is my first time reaching out to a forum for some acknowledgement of how truly
gut wrenching of a difficult task it is to be a Step Parent at times.
The pain I am currently feeling has been the top of the bar !
My SD and he Bo with new Baby in tow came to live with us 7 months ago.
It was to be for a “short term” which you can all see that it wasn’t.
We have had a good solid relationship over these past years. But as of late,
its in shambles.
Their little family consumes almost half of the space in our home, which is ok
because it’s the upstairs. My son who was upstairs, is now downstairs in a space
of 7 X 12.5 foot room ? with a queen bed . yes queen size LOL
Yes i am aware he could get his own place, as is he. Which is why he does everything
I ask of him, mind you I do still have to ask, but I’m ok with asking.
He is a very respectful person.
SD complaints started when she found out that my son currently doesn’t chip in financially
and why should they have to. They refer to it as “RENT”. Well as all of you parents who
have allowed your kids back at home, $200 for a family of 3, certainly is NOT rent. It’s to
cover the extra cost that you are adding to your bills. Which I myself cover, including water / sewer, gas heat, gas water heater, gas cooking, and electric. So MY personal bills have gone up, not her Bio fathers bills. Before SD and Fam moved in we also had her younger sibling who chose to move out before they got there. My trade off with my Bio son was to clean, which I personally don’t care to take the time to, and my Hubby doesn’t do at all. While any of our kids lived home no one to pay in if they were in college was my motto.
Before SD and Fam moved in I was told that I wouldn’t have to ever clean the bathroom or do
any dishes. Well you can all guess that it didn’t last long before that stopped happening.
In fact a very short time. SD had originally stated how nice it would be for her to purchase
a shed for her father because he’s so nice in letting them all move in, and she wanted to
show him her appreciation. Wasn’t that a nice thought.
My current oven didn’t work for some time. I had planned on getting a new soon. SD suggested,
that in Lou of handing me $200 every month that she would put it on her CC and make payments
because they were not working yet. I agreed that it would be fine. Then not even a spoon got
washed that they themselves didn’t actually dirty. When I questioned why, I was told that
they pay rent so they don’t have to do our dishes, or clean anymore. SD also made a recent
request to have their “rent” lowered. YEH she really did. I said that I myself could not
afford to pick up the extra costs. So “NO”.
I then requested her to pick only two days out of the entire month to clean the bathroom.
which SD marked. SD cleaned the first and third Sundays…in February. Myself and my Bio son
did the rest. Just last Sunday I noticed that the bathroom wasn’t cleaned. I looked on the
calendar, and it was SD’s turn. I waited till Monday…not clean still…so Monday after work
I politely asked if SD had yet. She said No, and I’m not going to. I asked again, she said NO.
I asked why…she said because the toilet was discussing, and she shouldn’t have to.
Wait it gets better…I said well who do you think is going to clean it, it is your turn
/….Hold on to your socks !!! … she said well, I’m not, I don’t shit here. I said excuse me.
She repeated herself. Then stated how she only shits at work. I said I don’t care,
Bio son and I don’t ask who shit before we clean.
I then realized that she had no intentions at all to do anything in that bathroom. So I bit,
I yelled, “Don’t do a Dam thing and I guess well just go back to me doing everything.”
I stopped into the LR where Hubby was enjoying himself watching TV, he asked. What the hell
happen in there, I told him to go ask his daughter. Well, I got home a bit late and the toilet
was cleaned. But come to find out SD said I was intimidating and berating to her, and my Hubby
cleaned the toilet.
I received a text that evening. That they would be moving out this weekend, and that the baby
would be going to daycare because she didn’t want them to be the cause of my stress anymore.
So, I am being punished from spending time with my grandson because I yelled at my SD, and expected SD to do something that was beneath her.
I know that there’s not a thing that I can do to help the situation at all. I did apologize for yelling, but certainly not for anything else. I also expressed in a text that I would very much like to not further damage our fractured relationship, sit together talk and agree to disagree. That its should be OK for us to not be able to live together , but also not leave this in a negative situation either.
I am not a step parent. However, my husband is a step parent to 4 of our (my) 5 children, 3 of whom are teens. I just want to say how much I appreciate the job that step parents do everyday. It’s tough. It’s hard when you do all the grunt work (discipline, love with all your heart, clean up after them, teach them all the life skills they need to know, etc) and then you realize you can never be their “real parent”. It hurts and it takes a strong, strong person to be able to give and give and be the support system with so little praise and perks. I watch my husband do this on a daily basis with our kids. It’s even worse when you (as the step parent) must step back and let the “real parent” be in the child’s life knowing that the “real parent” isn’t very nice to the child. However, we (the person married to the step parent, and the children) DO need you. You guys are the ones that make life bearable, who hold our hands when life gets ugly, and reminds us of brighter days ahead. You ARE doing a good job! And you ARE the ones who deserve the praise! THANK YOU!!
I’m so glad to have stumbled across this article. My stepdaughter just moved back to her mother’s because of the fact she didn’t like our rules. She was drinking, hosting parties in our home, lying, stealing–and made it all about my reaction in an effort to escape blame. Later on, I found out she was doing things on purpose to try to make my husband and I fight, or to make me mad at her so she’d be able to complain about me to my husband.
I’ve been taking care of her since she was 3, and she’s lived with us since she was 8. She hit high school, and no matter what I tried or what I did, she was just sullen, angry, awful, and passive aggressive. She’s still up to her tricks at her mother’s and her step dad has distanced himself from her in order to keep her from accusing him of abusing her again–which was a largely a lie.
I was so glad to read “I can’t fix what’s broken.” She had issues before me. She’s now blaming me like she blamed her stepfather. This is just a repeat of the pattern of an angry little girl who isn’t ready to grow up and take responsibility for herself.
Thank you for this forum !!!
I am a SM of four (2 B’s 26,28 / 2 G’s 20,25) for over 9 years and I have a Bio son who is 25.
This is my first time reaching out to a forum for some acknowledgement of how truly gut wrenching of a difficult task it is to be a Step Parent at times.
The pain I am currently feeling has been the top of the bar !
I have been there for my SD through many relationships she has struggled with boys, high school issues, prom dresses, college, difficulties with her Bio mom and dad whom i married, helped her with her living arrangements, health issues, her relationships with her siblings and struggles with substance abuse and been there for her traveling far to be there for the birth of her son when her own Bio Mother would not. Offering my time to her new baby when her own Bio mother failed to follow through.
The pain cuts deep.
I have never felt such pain in my life.
Unfortunately her bio dad whom i married isn’t any help at all.
My SD and he Bo with new Baby in tow came to live with us 7 months ago. It was to be for a “short term” which you can all see that it wasn’t.
We have had a good solid relationship over these past years. But as of late, its in shambles.
Their little family consumes almost half of the space in our home, which is ok because it’s the upstairs. My son who was upstairs, is now downstairs in a space of 7 X 12.5 foot room ? with a queen bed . yes queen size LOL
Yes i am aware he could get his own place, as is he. Which is why he does everything I ask of him, mind you I do still have to ask, but I’m ok with asking. He is a very respectful person.
SD complaints started when she found out that my son currently doesn’t chip in financially and why should they have to. They refer to it as “RENT”. Well as all of you parents who
have allowed your kids back at home, $200 for a family of 3, certainly is NOT rent. It’s to cover the extra cost that you are adding to your bills. Which I myself cover, including water / sewer, gas heat, gas water heater, gas cooking, and electric. So MY personal bills have gone up, not her Bio fathers bills. Before SD and Fam moved in we also had her younger sibling who chose to move out before they got there. My trade off with my Bio son was to clean, which I personally don’t care to take the time to, and my Hubby doesn’t do at all. While any of our kids lived home no one to pay in if they were in college was my motto.
Before SD and Fam moved in I was told that I wouldn’t have to ever clean the bathroom or do any dishes.
Well you can all guess that it didn’t last long before that stopped happening. In fact a very short time.
SD had originally stated how nice it would be for her to purchase a shed for her father because he’s so nice in letting them all move in, and she wanted to show him her appreciation.
Wasn’t that a nice thought.
My current oven didn’t work for some time. I had planned on getting a new soon. SD suggested, that in Lou of handing me $200 every month that she would put it on her CC and make payments because they were not working yet. I agreed that it would be fine. Then not even a spoon got washed that they themselves didn’t actually dirty. When I questioned why, I was told that they pay rent so they don’t have to do our dishes, or clean anymore.
SD also made a recent request to have their “rent” lowered. YEH she really did. I said that I myself could not afford to pick up the extra costs. So “NO”.
I then requested her to pick only two days out of the entire month to clean the bathroom. which SD marked. SD cleaned the first and third Sundays…in February. Myself and my Bio son
did the rest. Just last Sunday I noticed that the bathroom wasn’t cleaned. I looked on the calendar, and it was SD’s turn. I waited till Monday…not clean still…so Monday after work
I politely asked if SD had yet. She said No, and I’m not going to.
I asked again, she said NO.
I asked why…she said because the toilet was discussing, and she shouldn’t have to.
Wait it gets better…I said well who do you think is going to clean it, it is your turn….Hold on to your socks !!! … she said well, I’m not, I don’t shit here. I said excuse me.
She repeated herself. Then stated how she only shits at work.
I said I don’t care, Bio son and I don’t ask who shit before we clean.
I then realized that she had no intentions at all to do anything in that bathroom. So I bit,
I yelled, “Don’t do a Dam thing and I guess well just go back to me doing everything.”
I stopped into the LR where Hubby was enjoying himself watching TV, he asked. What the hell happen in there, I told him to go ask his daughter. Well, I got home a bit late and the toilet
was cleaned. But come to find out SD said I was intimidating and berating to her, and my Hubby cleaned the toilet.
I received a text that evening. That they would be moving out this weekend, and that the baby would be going to daycare because she didn’t want them to be the cause of my stress anymore. So, I am being punished from spending time with my grandson because I yelled at my SD, and expected SD to do something that was beneath her.
I know that there’s not a thing that I can do to help the situation at all. I did apologize for yelling, but certainly not for anything else. I also expressed in a text that I would very much like to not further damage our fractured relationship, sit together talk and agree to disagree. That its should be OK for us to not be able to live together , but also not leave this in a negative situation either
I reposted this because I originally put it in the wrong place…please forgive
I mostly agree. Yes, stepmom is not mom, recognize it fast for your own sake. I see nothing wrong with bonus mom, or being mothering, nurturing the child, as long as you remind yourself you are not mom. My SD was 4 when we married, she knew me since she was 2. I am a sahm, and since my SD is out of state, when she comes for visits, they are longer than normal situations. She chose to call me mom. I know this has caused resentment for her mom who continuously, even after 11years, causes problems. Her mother is vile, inappropriate, and narcissistic. Besides all that, when SD is with us, I’m taking her where she needs to go, taking her to see friends, feeding her, entertaining her, doing all the work of mom while the hubby is working. So to say I’m less then a mom, or even just her Dad’s wife, nope. I’m a mother. We’ve been an official family for 10 years, we now have 3 more kids, her siblings. If I am not a mom, are her siblings not her siblings?
My stepmom hated me and all my sisters. She abused us emotionally and physically. Her daughter was always treated better. My Dad worked all the time. His philosophy was the spouse comes first to. I did learn that I would never marry someone who didn’t love my kids as their own. They are divorced now btw.
Perhaps , everything was just perfect in raising a 3 year old stepchild for 4 years. Only untill mother-in-law started brainwashing the child against the step mother, due to her own insecurities of losing her grandchild whom she had raised till he was 3 years old, until her son’s second marriage. So how could this situation be dealt with where mother -in -law is living 24 7 with the family and brainwashing the stepchild ?
So I have a different experience with this considering my parents separated when I was in college, finalized their divorce 6 months before I got married (2009), and my father remarried 3 months after I married (2010). His wife is from his home country and I do understand that she would have to deal with a lot of readjustment once coming to the U.S.
Don’t get me wrong, I tried very hard for the last 2.5 years since she came to this country to be respectful and try to understand that it will be difficult for to adjust. Culturally, I have to refer to her as “mom” and this drew a rift between me and my biological mother for awhile. Eventually my bio mom understood that my father’s wife could impact my relationship with my father so she let go of some of her insecurities.
However, as much as I understand that my father needs to do everything he can to make sure his marriage work, he tends to put my comforts aside. For example, I’m not comfortable enough with his wife to share certain personal information but she expects that I’ll share this with her and demands my father to tell her this information. She won’t share personal information with me nor do I ask her but I would expect that she would extend the same courtesy to me and she doesn’t. Additionally she doesn’t allow me to spend any one-on-one time with my father where I can discuss some personal issues with him (personal meaning something I’m going through and I’m looking for his advice but something I’m not comfortable sharing with his wife). Actually, she doesn’t allow my father to have any one-on-one time at all with anybody as she doesn’t want to be left alone. This has resulted in my father not seeing his best friend for the last 2 years (though his best friend has been through thick and thin with him for the last 30+ years) as she doesn’t like him and doesn’t want my dad to spend alone time with him. She also refuses to adapt to the American culture, learn/speak English, and continually nitpicks me since I do not follow the culture of her home country. Keep in mind, I was born and grew up in the states, I speak English as my mother tongue, and I have not been able to pick up the language of my father’s home country since it’s not something I speak on a regular basis and the grammar is annoyingly difficult.
I agree with a lot of people in this discussion that the parent should not put their kids needs before their spouses but I do feel the parent should still make time for their kids where they can hang out one-on-one and still be able to maintain the relationships with close friends. I think it’s important for a step parent to understand when to step back and understand the biological child may also want to protect the relationship they have established with their parent. If you don’t respect this bond, I feel you will lose the respect of the biological child which in turn can impact their relationship with their biological parent- exactly what I’m going through right now.
please tell me this will all be private!
Wow. Things got to be so bad that I think I may have just destroyed my marriage. To be fair my lack of employment has put a lot of stress on our marriage and it was almost over a few months ago. Then we went to counseling and things have improved a bit. We’ve been married six years and my step daughter is a freshman in college. Since she visits infrequently while on breaks from school, and only over the past year and a half, I haven’t built much of a relationship with her. She is 19 years old. I have no children of my own so I admittedly lack expertise with the parenting skills. Here’s the back story: My SD is quite bright, pretty, and exuberant, but is pretty much broken from her bio mom and stepfather’s treatment. However, I have been led to believe that she was brutally & verbally abused and institutionalized for observation from a suicide attempt at age 15. All because she snuck out to hook up with a man in mid twenties at a party with kids of the bad crowd. OK people, I was born at night, but not last night! She was released after a week and was treated with anti-psychotic, mood leveling and anti anxiety meds over the course of the next 3 years. Oh and she’s a straight A student.
Now, this is an alarming story to be hearing after 5 years of marriage! Nonetheless, insta-family was born with long lost dad and step mom. After a few visits, it became clear that she wanted to be accepted as a new resident of our new home which bio dad and I bought together at great cost. (Due to financial difficulty the relationship is strained.) She and I have, in a very adult conversation agreed upon, that I am not her mom and not exactly her friend either. She wants to be treated as an adult, naturally, but pouts and stamps her feet if she can’t get her way. Our first fight happened when I asked her to take out her garbage at the end of second visit. My husband didn’t talk to me for days because I treated he so badly. Really? I still to this day don’t know what she told him bout the incident. Her Bio dad feels so guilty he couldn’t be there for her throughout her growing up years- from a divorce that happened when she was two, that he’s racking up charges on the credit cards to fill the hole in her heart with beauty products, clothes and Broadway shows.
I know I’m not her mom so it’s not my place to say that she may regret some of the choices she makes, but I was put in a very difficult situation when she told me that due to her demanding schedule in school, social life and extracurricular activities, she doesn’t have time for a boyfriend. So she has regular hookup buddies that she will text at 2 am to have sex. This is after all of her studying is done of course! She says that she hooked up with several members of the baseball team in her first semester, was video’ed at a frat party (partial nudity and posted on the internet). She doesn’t have to even hang out with them or even like their personalty. Luckily she say that it’s exciting so that she can blog about it with her nice new sorority friends. Great, sounds like I will be burning my spare bath towels now.
In my mind my head spun completely around and I thought the following:
1. She’s playing me to see if I will betray her trust and tell her dad.
2. She thinks I will think she is really cool.
3. This girl is going to be raped or killed if this is true. Also, of course you can’t bother to build a relationship based on trust or love if you cant love and cherish yourself.
I was without words and thought I better think about this and make the right choice here or I was going to make yet another step mom blunder.
Two days later, we had a big fight between myself, bio dad, and SD. They both turned on me and haven’t spoken to me in four days. I agonized over it and decided to tell my husband that I needed to tell him something very important that had nothing to do with the argument, once he returned from dropping her at school. I told him. He didn’t take it very well. Now we are headed for divorce because he feels I have so majorly disrespected them both and with his being so unhappy they is no other choice but to end the marriage. Hoping he will reconsider.
I’ve Just got Married for the first time and become stepmother to 2 Teen Girls I have no children of my own and feel a little out of my depth to be honest. I have no idea how to react around them. My new hubby tells me i have the right to tell them off if they are being disrespectful to me but i don’t feel they would listen to me after all i’m not their mom and i don’t expect to be. I try to talk to them as adults and listen to them when they want to talk. Anyone got any advise for me?
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I became a stepmother recently of a five year old son. his mom simply said she could not stay with the kid anymore she has a life to leave. So as a surportive wife i agreed to for the kid to come and stay with us. I have three sons 15years, 11years and one and half year baby. But since this kid came into our lives the relation between my husband and i has changed… am scared that may be am not doing right or it was a mistake to agree and give a home to this kid…please advice.
My husband has abandon me and the kids for the the past 8months now, and refuse to come back because he was hold on by a woman whom he just met, for that, my self and the kids has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but I decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then I went online there I saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose email is LAVENDERLOVESPELL@YAHOO.com so I had to contact him and in just 4days as he has promised, my husband came home and his behavior was back to the man I got married to.I cant thank the spell caster enough what what he did for me, I am so grateful. I even spoke to the spell caster over the phone, to confirm his existence. His email again is: LAVENDERLOVESPELL@YAHOO.com
I have been a step mom for almost 13years now. My husband has residential custody of his daughter. She’s been living with us full time for almost 6years now. Before that we had both of this children every other week. Week on, week off. The birth mother has 5other kids, and 4 different baby Daddy’s. She moves at least every 6months and recently allowed my step son to drop out of Highschool-without telling my husband or anything. She’s kept my step son from his father for 3years now-my step son doesn’t do well with authority at all-he hasn’t robbed any banks or commited murder, but his school records show how he just doesn’t care for rules and authority. It breaks my heart. He was number 297 out of 298 in his class-at the bottom of the list. My step daughter has been and is an honor roll student for the most part in her school career, and while she’s lived with us she has received awards for attendance etc. Shes in 8th grade and very immature for her age. Both kids have always had a hard time with social skills and making friends, unless its forced relationships-like kids of friends of ours-no one really on her own, and keeping the friendship. Don’t get me wrong I know kids are cruel..especially teen girls are the worst to other teens. I remember being a teenager. The mother absolutely HATES me with a passion-why? maybe its because I’m with my husband, maybe its because I have a successful career, maybe its because I did have a wonderful relationship with both of her kids, more so her daughter-my step daughter, my “sister” (long story, but “sister” came from a time when she was 2-3yrs old, she didn’t know how I fit into her life and 1 day I said “you go sister” & it just stuck-it was a special bond-I miss that bond every single day). I don’t know why she hates me, I really don’t and at this point I don’t really care anymore-shes poison and making our lives nowdays a living hell. In January my step daughter had a 2year old tantrum on our front deck while waiting for the school bus, literally threw herself on the ground like a 2yr old, while other parents were at the bus stop in front of our house and about 50yards away. It was embarrassing-it was a horrible horrible morning. I asked my stepdaughter 4times to come into the house and she refused in her anger, I then yanked her in by her jacket. I took her to school, then that day she went to her guidance counselor at school and called her Mom. She only told the guidance counselor and her mother what she wanted them to hear-told her mom that I dragged her through the front yard by her jacket & our dog held her down and nipped her. I never dragged her anywhere, and our dog didn’t hold her down. He was barking because of the yelling and screaming. My husband went to the school as well, and the guidance counselor, my step daughter and my husband sat down and talked about the situation, and then the truth came out about how she acted and that no one dragged her. I even went to the guidance counselor (before I knew he went there) and was almost in tears because this argument was by far the worst. The guidance counselor told me she understood about being step parent and that family counseling would be good for us and she would send me some information on places in our area. It was almost 2weeks later the mother came to pick up my step daughter for her weekend (she has my step daughter every other weekend and recently moved out of the state) and when she was supposed to return my step daughter that Sunday, she made up tons of excuses on why she couldn’t bring her back (normal for birth mother to constantly change things, especially at the last min), then it wasn’t until 2days later she filed for full custody of my step daughter. The judge didn’t grant her emergency custody, so she filed a protective order. The judge granted a temporary protective order for 10days. Within those 10days we had CPS come and interview us and CPS deemed absolutely ZERO abuse was occurring, nor were there any complaints filed about abuse, nor had the school filed any complaints either. There isn’t abuse towards my step daughter.CPS even said the mother was working the system & because my step son was going to be 18 in June she wouldn’t be getting anymore $$ for him from my husband. Yes we still paid child support each month-we had a kid and she had a kid. We agreed to CS because it was the only way the birth mother would of given my step daughter to us 5years ago-her kids are $$, and she doesn’t work and hasnt worked in the 13yrs i’ve been in the picture, except for maybe 6months. Shes a career welfare recieptent-our tax $$ pays for her to sit at home and pop out babies and keep those babies from their birth fathers (she’s done it several times to my husband over the years). My husband stopped paying CS-his last payment was August 2013 because that’s when we officially learned that he dropped out. He stopped going to school in Febuary then officially withdrew in May. So the birth mother wasn’t getting anymore $$ until my husband had proof his son was infact enrolled in school-documentation from the school ,not the birth mother’s word, because her words are nothing but constant lies about everything-this woman is the polar opposite of me on every single level. It wasn’t until after the protective order was dismissed did she text him and say my step son was in school. Not almost the entire year he wasn’t in school-no effort to get him back in school. Anyways since all of this turmoil my house has been ugly. We are in family counseling and unfortantly due to the winter this year, a lot of our sessions have been cancelled, but I would and still make every effort to get us in each week. Things between my husband and I seem to be going better than expected, even with the attitude given by my step daughter towards me. This past weekend she was at her birth mothers and came home sunday-late as usual-she got an attitude with me for no reason, I said “I thought you were going to stop acting like that towards me like you said in counseling last week” she just stared at me. Then Monday was no school for her, and my husbands been outta work for almost 2months now, so they both were home. The first words outta her mouth to me was “do you have to go to work today”, I said yes I do. She said “well that sucks”, then my husband went to the grocery store and took her with him because she turns into this little evil witch when he’s not in the same room, she walks in the door and has my creamer and says to me in a snotty way like she was rubbing it in I had to go to work “what do you want me to do with your creamer”, I said just give it to me. I didn’t say anything bout how she said it or another word to her about anything. That night I was making dinner and asked her to wash a baking dish, while I was making dinner I pulled out a pot that she just washed the night before and it still had butter in the bottom of the pot-it was like she didn’t even use a sponge or soap. I said to her this is not how we wash dishes and went downstairs to my husband & showed him. Well he was pissed that yet again she was rushing and didn’t wash the dishes right. He’s shown her at least 6times how to wash dishes-she knows how to wash dishes, she chooses not to wash dishes the right way. He told her the next time she does it again it will be an entire week of no TV. She came upstairs with the “oh I didn’t get punished attitude, haha on you” I waited a few minutes and calmly said to her, when you’re done with these dishes you need to put your remote on the counter because you lost your TV for lack of doing your chores properly. Now mind you all 3 of us sat down a couple weeks ago and decided that when she doesn’t do her chores properly then she gets no television. She got sassy and said to me “he said next time” I said, yea he did, but the punishment still stands as it has before that you have no TV-next time its not just a day, next time its a week. Well she started crying like a 2year old over not having TV. My husband came upstairs and asked what was going on and I told him. She continued to sob uncontrollably to the point snot was running down her nose-another 2yr old behavior over no TV. My husband got heated and pissed at her because of her behavior and ended up taking the TV away from Mon-Fri and making her write 500 sentences. Then Tuesday night she came downstairs with half of a form for my husband to sign for school. the information was on the part he was signing and needed to be returned but missing the top portion. while he was signing it, I said to him where’s the top portion of the form, he got nasty and said its all right here. Right there when it’s being returned to school? Don’t you need to remember dates etc and not to mention letting her birth mother know, especially since she claims you don’t tell her anything and with mediation coming up next week shouldn’t you let her know. While my step daughter came downstairs she had also been told my by husband to take a shower and blow dry her hair. Well her hair was wet and anytime its wet not damp, she pulls it into a ponytail. I said something to her about it and its another thing she been told about several times and the next time she’ll be grounded. Well apparently according to my husband I didn’t have any authority in saying that to her nor any authority in asking him about the top portion of the permission slip form-which was given to her about 2weeks ago. Yesterday my step daughter had to be woken 3x’s and then argued with me about 1 of our dogs doing something the dog NEVER does. then I left her alone for the rest of the morning, then I made her lunch and realized that she had the lunch box she claimed she lost a few months ago. Another chore is to bring home her lunch box each day and clean it out. she has 2 because sometime things happen and she doesn’t bring it home-not a big deal. But its how she responded to me when I asked about the “missing new lunch box” because the past 2weeks she’s forgotten the back up one at least 3-4days each week. She got nasty and rude-like she was an equal to me. Nope, sorry she’s not my equal and wont be, just like I’m not with my parents. Then she didn’t have a coat for school, then she was trying to wear slippers to school when it was wet and rainy outside. I told her change her shoes, she got nasty and threw shoes on the ground by the front door and a couple other things-just to try and piss me off and get me to that yelling level with her.
Now my husband is telling me i have zero authority to discipline whatsoever, and I have a constant attitude and that’s why shes got one. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I cant and don’t want to be alone with my step daughter and now the crap with her is affecting my marriage. I don’t know what to do anymore. I really don’t. He’s not threatening to leave or have me leave if I don’t stop-and I don’t and cant be my step daughters doormat anymore. I don’t want to loose my Ihusband or my family. Oh and theres a BIG change I’m pregnant too. I just want my husband and family unit back. no its not perfect, but is perfect for me and I love both of my step kids to the moon and back. What should I do? ignore my step daughter completely? I never imagined she and I would be at this point in our relationship-she ALWAYS wanted to be with me over either of her birth parents when she was younger and we ALWAYS had a special bond. I don’t have that anymore and its tearing me up. PLEASE help
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Email address ( usuokhaspiritualtemple@gmail.com )
Whatsapp or Tel: +2348072034149
I want to share my testimony on how i was able to get back my husband with the help of baba my man left me for over 3years and went on with another lady and i was unable to move on with my life because of the love i have for him last month i saw a testimony on the internet on how Dr baba help someone with love spell so i never believe it ,but just have to try my faith which i did and i contacted him on his email: worldwidesupremetemple@gmail.com and he told me what i need to do and after 2days i received a call from my husband asking me to come back to him it was all like a dream to me i am so happy now as we are back together again thanks to Dr baba and i will advice anyone in need of help to contact him.
i am thanking Dr. Ekaka from the ekakaspelltemple@yahoo.com for the love spell he did for me, he brought my ex boyfriend that i love so much that i have tried everything i can to get him back he brought him back to me within 24hours after i contacted him i am really happy with the love spell he did for me all thanks to him for taken his time to help me and to give good result that i really need to me without taken my time and without any delay my heart is really filled with joy and excitement that i got the love of my life back
I really, really, really, really needed to read this. Thank you for sharing your experience. Every tip was like healing balm on a wound for me.
Number 1 is probably the hardest, especially since I’m stepping up in areas the absent parent is not covering. And it’s even harder since I don’t have any children of my own yet. I’ve been repeating the mantra “I am not their mom. I am not their mom. I am not their mom” over and over again all week…it hurts, and it helps.
Once again, thank you for sharing!
Hi I’m a step daughter and im having trouble talking to my step mom but the think is that i dnt consider her my stepmother i consider her my mother but it feels like everything i do doesnt make her happy and I she keeps telling me that she is going to leave my dad and i dont want her to leave I love her so much but I can’t talk to her and I dont know why can you please help me?
Try writing her a letter laying out exactly how you feel. Whether she responds appropriately or not, you’ll feel better knowing you put it all out there and left nothing unsaid. Good luck!
I am a happy man today because of what Dr Eziza did for me. two years ago my lover broke up with me without any good reason at first i felt depressed and dont know what to do. on this lucky day i was going through the internet i saw testimonies of Dr Eziza i contacted him and he also helped me incase you need solution to your problems contact him on ezizaoguntemple@gmail.com or call +2348058176289
Hey Guys,am so so happy..
I had a problem with my boyfriend six months ago,which lead to us apart.
When he broke up with me,I was no longer myself,I felt so empty inside
.Until a friend of mine told me about one of her spells that helped in
same problem too that she found on a television program. i emailed the
spell caster and I told him my problem and I did what he asked me to
briefly make. to cut the long story shordt,Before I knew what was
happening,not up to 48 hours,my boyfriend gave me a call and he come back
to me and told me he was sorry about what has happened, I’m so grateful to
this spell caster and will not stop publishing his name on the internet
just for the good work he has been doing.If you need his help,he can cast
spells like,spells for money,spells for wining lottery,medicines to make a
barren woman pregnant,spells to be brilliant,and so so so many more spell
of any problems you can think of,you can email him at
(UNIQUELOVESPELLCENTER@YAHOO.COM)and he will also help you to Dr Akim is
his name
(UNIQUELOVESPELLCENTER@YAHOO.COM) I will be forever grateful to you.or you can also call him on his mobile for easy contact on +2348159645271
What if you’re the reason the divorce happened–as in, the kids’ father was cheating with you?
(No, that does not apply to me.)
Honestly, when kids are involved, I think that marrying the person you (the universal ‘you,’ not YOU you!) were cheating with is an incredibly selfish act. You’re pretty much guaranteeing long term, far-reaching problems for your children, and that, to me, is unacceptable.
My Husband dumped me two weeks ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don’t know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help people to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 48hours that my husband will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my husband came knocking on my door begging for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Priest Osaze, You are truly talented and gifted. Email: spirituallove@hotmail. com is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man.Email him now if you need his help spirituallove@hotmail. com
This was extremely important for me to read and re-read 🙂 I always am extremely hard on myself as a full time step mother, and I feel that although not agreeing w/ every word of this article …. I think that I am always asking myself “does my step son hate me? , what could I have said/did differently? How is he feeling? How can I help to improve my behavior/action as a step mother?….if you have sny more information that maybe helpful please notify me…. Thank you
PLEASE BE CAREFULLY IN THIS BLOG ABOUT THIS SPELL CASTERS, NOT ALL ARE REAL, I JUST LOST $ 1,000 dollars TO A FAKE IMPOSTER
CLAIMING TO BE A REAL SPELL CASTER, BECA– USE I WAS DESPERATELY IN NEED OF HELP TO BRING BACK MY BELOVED HUSBAND BECA– USE I
WAS NOT ABLE TO GIVE HIM A CHILD, ALSO TO KEEP MY FAMILY IN PEACE BUT I GOT NOTHING.
NOTHING GOOD COMES EASY, FINALLY I HEARD ABOUT THIS MAN CALLED (Dr Zuma zuk) A REAL SPELL CASTER, A GREAT MAN INDEED SO I GAVE
HIM ALL TRUST, AND GUEST WHAT? HE TRANSFORMED MY FAMILY BACK IN JUST A WEEK, MY HUSBAND CAME BACK! THAT IS NOT THE END OF
THE GREAT SPELL CASTER (Dr Zuma zuk) I ALSO TOLD HIM I COULDN’T GIVE BIRTH TO A CHILD AND HE PREPARED A SPELL FOR ME, MY HUSBAND
SLEPT WITH ME FOR ALMOST A YEAR NOW.
ON THE SECOND WEEK I MISSED MY PERIOD AND I WENT TO A LOCAL HOSPITAL AND THE DOCTOR SAID I AM PREGNANT, I WAS SO MAD I
COULD NOT CONTROL MY EMOTIONS IN THE CLINIC. THAT’S HOW I GOT MY FAMILY AND LOVE BACK, LIKE BACK THEN WHEN WE STARTED.
IF YOU ARE STILL IN THIS CONDITION PLEASE WASTE NO TIME, CONTACT HIM NOW: ( spiritualherbalisthealers@gmail.com )
I HOPE THIS HELPS,
what about stepmoms giving all of those personal talks cause my dad likes this one girl with three children and I think they may get married and the time is coming what do I do
I just want to share my experience and testimony here.. I was married for 9 years to my husband and all of
a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hailing me and he was abusive..but I still loved
him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost? then he filed for divorce..my whole life was turning apart
and I didn’t know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me
about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster? so I decided to
try it reluctantly..although I didn’t believe in all those things? then when he did the special prayers and
spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn’t
believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are happy..in case anyone needs this man, his
email address prophetsalifu@gmail.com, his spells is for a better life. again his email is
prophetsalifu@yahoo.com.
Hello every one, I really want to share my testimony to the hearing of the general public on this site about how DR EHI helped me, December 2013, I saw a post on a particular site shearing testimony on how the great spell caster brought back her ex who name is Jerry so I just see it common and i said let me see what will happen because my husband left me and my three kids for another woman just like that, i and my husband was married for six years living happily before i new what was going on, he left me and go for another woman so when i saw the post, i contacted the spell caster on his email and he told me i should not worry that my husband will come back to me in three days after once he finish casting the reunite spell and to my greatest surprise, i now have my husband back to me again and i want to use this medium to let every body know that this is real and if you are out there having this same problem please contact the great spell caster on his email now because he can do the unexpected. his email is ehispellcentre@gmail.com or email him directly on his web site http://ehispellcentre.webs.com . I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK.
My boy friend who i had dated for 9 years,already living together suddenly woke up and said to me last January that he does not love me anymore,he is not happy with the relationship,he said he does not want us to live a miserable life together,he said to me that he has already rented a new place and wants to move in with a girl he meet at work,i begged and pleaded with him but all my effort fail,i became desperate and searched for solution,that was how i meet the great spell caster winexbackspell@gmail.com he told me all i needed to do,he cast the WIN EX BACK SPELL for me and after 3 days my lover came back to me living the other lady begin for my forgiveness,i was so surprise if such help still exist,i am so happy winning my heart back again.
Oh my God, I’m so glad to tell everyone the real thing that happen to me…My name is EMILIANO BABARAH. If i refuse to share this testimony it means i am selfish to my self and to people i love so much whom might have similar problems, March 16th about something 7:23pm after taken our dinner my husband got crazy started calling a lady name Melisa I love you, i was so mad and started crying like a baby…then my husband left home for the idiot called Melisa, and never return back home then i believed when he uthen nderstand his self he will surly come back to apology, but instead he left me So i complained to my friend she told me she was having such problems in her marriage until she was introduce to DR ORIOMON who specializes in bringing back broken homes and broken marriages DR ORIOMON cast a spell for me in May 4th surprisingly my husband came home May 6th apologizing that i should forgive him that it will never happen again, i was so glad and gave the thanks to DR ORIOMON who save my marriage, if you are having similar problem you can contact him and His email address is (oriomonspiritualtemple@yahoo.com) you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband.
Thanks EMILIANO BABARAH_USA
Sorry, but I know of at least three people, my husband among them, who count their step parent as their primary parent. In fact its his last name that my husband uses. I know other people as well.
You don’t have to be sorry! I count my stepfather as MY primary parent- but that was MY choice, as a kid and now as an adult.
My point is that stepmoms will eliminate a whole lot of problems if they stop trying to do what their stepkids’ MOM would/should do, and instead do what she, the stepmom, feels is best, based on their relationship and situation. I spent way too much time trying to make up for their moms’ absence and in retrospect, I think I should have just tried to be the best ME to them that I could be- That creates a much more natural evolution of the relationship and, in general, a LOT less stress. I think too many of us beat ourselves up over whether our stepkids think of us as a mother figure or not, and that’s definitely not a good thing.
My Name is jay Stacey, i want to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr emua has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband Alans jay, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until i sow a testimony in the internet about dr emua, and how powerful his spell work is, so i decided to contact him via his email (dremuahelphome@outlook.com)then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr emua for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email dremuahelphome@outlook.com if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life. try him any you will forever remain happy.
1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money.
(10)if you want to stop your divorce.
(11)if you want to divorce your husband.
(12)if you want your wishes to be granted.
(13) Pregnancy spell tp conceive baby
(14)Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage
(15)Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart.
once again the email address is dremuahelphome@outlook.com contact him immediately.
My name is Andrey Bush, i am in the US army,
one day, we went to Iraq, leaving my wife and two kids. I was away from
home for ONE year, when I returned my wife told me she was no longer
interested in the marriage that if she could survive for
1 year without me, the marriage is meaningless. Leaving home for ONE
year was not easy but not having a family when i came back was more
difficult. I pleaded continuously with her for 2 years even left the
army just to convince her but all my attempt to get her back failed.
On one faithful day, as I was about to sign a friend’s guest book, I
saw a post about a spell caster, at first I laughed but took the email
address and phone number. After 2days something inside of me just asked
me to contact him so i did and he cast a spell for me and he told me she
was going to come back to me after 24 hours, to my surprise she called
me even before the 24 hours elapsed and she said honey where are you,
I’m outside the house, please come and open the door for me. I opened
the door and she came in, immediately she fell down on her knees and
apologized to me, she said she was wrong to have left me and said she
wanted me back. This is a big miracle….. All thanks to Priest Okedie
of priestokediesolutionhome@gmail.com, if not for him,I wonder the kind
of life I would have lived.
I want to use this medium to encourage
other men and women out there, to contact this great spell caster, he is
one of the greatest spell caster that ever exist. Priest Okedie have
all kinds of spell and these include Love spell, Lucky spell,business
spell,spell to stop divorce, Favor spell, curing spell e.t.c. This is
his direct contact: priestokediesolutionhome@gmail.com
THANKS TO GREAT DR AISABU FOR SOLVING MY PROBLEMS HIS EMAIL IS (aisabulovespell@gmail.com)
I was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this girl and since then he hate me and the kids and love her only. So when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy to see that other woman. so I and my kids were now so frustrated and I was just staying with my mum and I was not be treating good because my mother got married to another man after my father death so the man she got married to was not treating her well, I and my kids were so confuse and I was searching for a way to get my husband back home because I love and cherish him so much so one day as I was browsing on my computer I saw a testimony about this spell caster DR AISABU testimonies shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me so much I also think of give it a try. At first I was scared but when I think of what me and my kids are passing through so I contact him and he told me to stay calm for just 24 hours that my husband shall come back to me and to my best surprise I received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and I called DR. AISABU and he said your problems are solved my child. so this was how I get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from DR AISABU, I want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to DR AISABU, and I will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him his email is (aisabulovespell@gmail.com) he is the solution to all your problems and predicaments in life. Once again his email address is (aisabulovespell@gmail.com)
HE IS SPECIALIZING IN THE FOLLOWING SPELL.
(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) If you always have bad dreams.
(3) If you want to be promoted in your office.
(4) If you want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) If you want to be rich.
(7) If you want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money.
(10) If you want to stop your divorce.
(11) If you want to divorce your husband.
(12) If you want your wishes to be granted.
(13) Pregnancy spells to conceive baby
(14) Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage
(15) Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart.
(16) If you have any sickness like (H I V), (CANCER) or any sickness.
(17) If you need prayers for deliverance for your child or yourself.
Once again make sure you contact him if you have any problem he will help you. His email address is (aisabulovespell@gmail.com) contact him immediately./.
After 9 years in marriage with my hubby with 3 kids, my husband started going out with other ladies and showed me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet Dr. Trust who help people with the relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contact him, he helped me cast a spell and within 24hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with ladies and he his with me for good and for real. Contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem at ultimatespellcast@gmail.com. Goodluck or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com
After 9 years in marriage with my hubby with 3 kids, my husband started going out with other ladies and showed me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet Dr. Trust who help people with the relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contact him, he helped me cast a spell and within 24hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with ladies and he his with me for good and for real. Contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem at ultimatespellcast@gmail.com. Goodluck or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com.
Hello I am Lisa Jerry ,I am out here to spread
this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I
was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another
woman last month, But when i met a friend that introduced me to Priest
Ohio the great messenger to the oracle of priest Ohio solution home,I
narrated my problem to Priest Ohio about how my ex Husband left me and
my two kids and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He
only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be
getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need
to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on
the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and
one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I
was called for interview in a very big company here in USA were i
needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed
that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Priest Ohio on
his personal email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is
too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: priestohiosolutionhome@gmail.com or contact him through his private website at http://priestohiosolutionhome.webs.com and get your problems solved like me….. ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: priestohiosolutionhome@gmail.com or contact him through his website at http://priestohiosolutionhome.webs.com
When I eventually found testimonies about this spell caster great zalilu, how he helped many people to get their lover back, i contacted him through his email address greatzalilu@gmail.com because I was absolutely desperate to get my husband back. Life without my husband was a real mess for me and my children. i wanted a dramatic change and I thought magic could be the solution. After discussing the resolution with great zalilu, he gave me hope that he will restore my marriage. I felt confident that he will actually make my husband to return home and he did! It’s fantastic what great zalilu have done for me. his help is priceless! I don’t know what I would have done without great zalilu, great zalilu does his job so well he is organized and highly functional, i believe he is the best spell caster i can count on when it comes to love spell, I was floored that his spells worked.
After being in relationship with my husband for nine years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is (LAVENDERLOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM } tel.+2347053977842) you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.
Thank you very much DR EHI for i never thought any thing could make my husband come back to me as his wife again after he broke up with me and left to settle down with another woman who never Knew how we both suffered and share feelings together in USA but thank God today i was lucky to see this great spell caster on a site after seeing a lots of testimony and good work he have done in the lives of people helping them to get their ex,husbands and wife renewing their relationship. so you can contact Dr Ehi for help with his email address ehispellcentre@gmail.com or his web site on http://ehispellcentre.webs.com.
My names SANDRA ABLE, I am here to give my testimony about a doctor who help me in my life. I was infected with HIV virus in the 2010,i went to many hospitals, churches for cure but there was no solution out, so I was thinking how can I get a solution out so that i cannot loose my life, I lost everything I have my husband run away from me and also took my children along because of my sickness. One day I was in the river side thinking the next step to take if it is to jump into the river so that I can loose my life totally or just think where I can go to get solution. so a lady walk to me telling me why am I so sad and i open up all to him telling her my stories, she told me that she can help me out that’s the reason she normally come here to help people so that thy can be cured because she was into this problem before, she introduce me to a doctor who cast spells on people and gave me he number and email so i called him and also email him. He told me all the things I need to provide and also give me instructions to take, which I followed properly. Before I knew what is happening he called me and told me that i should go for an HIV test and which i did as he told me and the result was negative. so if you are also heart brokened and also need a help you can also email him at mosthighsolutiontemple@hotmail.com you can contact his phone number +23409035256215
Thank you for your article! It was wonderful! My stepmother and I DID NOT get along when she and my father married, but years later she admitted that she has made mistakes. We both did not act like adults, but we forgive each other and God is a priority. He I’d the reason to forgive. Thank you!!
Oh my God, I’m so glad to tell everyone the real thing that happen to me…My name is EMILIANO BABARAH. If i refuse to share this testimony it means i am selfish to my self and to people i love so much whom might have similar problems, March 16th about something 7:23pm after taken our dinner my husband got crazy started calling a lady name Melisa I love you, i was so mad and started crying like a baby…then my husband left home for the idiot called Melisa, and never return back home then i believed when he uthen nderstand his self he will surly come back to apology, but instead he left me So i complained to my friend she told me she was having such problems in her marriage until she was introduce to DR ORIOMON who specializes in bringing back broken homes and broken marriages DR ORIOMON cast a spell for me in May 4th surprisingly my husband came home May 6th apologizing that i should forgive him that it will never happen again, i was so glad and gave the thanks to DR ORIOMON who save my marriage, if you are having similar problem you can contact him and His email address is (oriomonspiritualtemple@yahoo.com) you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband.
Thanks EMILIANO BABARAH_USA//\
i am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 7 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated don’t know what to do, i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr ashra spell hospital for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he traditional spell hospital casted on him that make him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you traditional spell hospital for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of ashraspellhome@yahoo.com getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend. and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay. Websit. http://ashraspellhome.simplesite.com
//,
At last my happiness has been restored through Dr ABULU of abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com , my mount is full of testimonies but here is a little i can say out of the whole wondrous things DR ABULU has done for me i was in a great and the sweetest relationship with my man JONES for two years and we were both in good terms and even planning of getting married this September 2014 so when he traveled for on the a business trip to Australia he melt a lady there whom he dated for two months and when he returned back to home he began to behave strange and with not long he said he is tired of this relationship looking for ways to break our love life and he finally push me out and bring in the Australia lady with him .this time i was frustrated and devastated about my love life so i vow not to rest until i am able to get back the only man i have ever loved so i began to look for a solution to restore my love life . one day my friend Jessica Sanchez came to me telling me about this man DR ABULU saying this man has helped he restore his life so i said let me also try as i have no other choice in getting back Jones . at first when i contacted he i thought nothing will work but it was like a dream and surprise when he told me go my child i have and wait for Jones can within the next two days and to my greatest surprise Jones actually called me and was pleading on the phone saying he was under a spell from the other lady so with all this great things DR ABULU of abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com has done for me i want you all to join me to say thank you to this man, and if any one here is also passing through a similar problem i will advice to contact today on his web site http://abuluspiritualtemple.webs.com and i know your problems will still be solve
KLARA, SOFIYKO
I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS UNTIL I MET THIS WORLD’S TOP SPELL CASTER. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE’S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I’M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE WOMAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS… I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO USA, MY GIRLFRIEND(NOW WIFE) CALLED ME BY HERSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND SHE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY GIRLFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO… WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY WIFE ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS;okutemple@hotmail.com ……HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT OUR OPPORTUNITY … CONTACT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER VIA EMAIL:okutemple@hotmail.com
This is a testimony that I will tell to every one to hear. I have been married four 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until I met a post where this man DR OLOKUM have helped someone and I decided to give him a try to help me bring my lover back home and believe me I just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, I saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why I am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self. His email:lavenderlovespell@yahoo.com.
I made a choice a few years ago. To embrace being a stepmom or work toward having my own kids. The ship has sailed in having my own now. The young lady I thought I was helping did her best to drive myself and her father apart. Now she has her own kid just out of high school and she moved far away. She doesn’t speak much to me or to her Dad. Her Dad is on the road a lot and I don’t see him often. We put her first, she’s gone. I have pneumonia for 2 months and I get to fight for my health alone. Don’t get me wrong my husband and I talk several times a day. When he’s home we spend every minute together. It’s difficult being a traveler’s wife when you can’t travel yourself. I wish I did things differently. Maybe anything I did for this girl didn’t matter to her. Family reminds me that I never gave birth so I’m not a mom.
I’ve known Johnson for years, When we finally got together things were kind of weird so we broke up which was in February of 2011 In June of 2012 he and I recently got back together and we were together until march of 2013 which he told me he was not interested in relationship again During that time I changed completely, I wasn’t eating,I was sleeping a lot, I wasn’t talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I’m so depressed and stressed out that I’m scared I’m going to end up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and I want us to last forever Google recommend me spirituallove@hotmail.com that he will solve my relationship problem then Dr Osaze told me he will come back to me between 48hrs after he cast spell on him never believe it until my fiance called me on the phone and told me he want us to come back and live happy together forever , Am so happy now that DR Osaze, help me bring Johnson back to me. Thanks so much( Dr Osaze) his email:spirituallove@hotmail.com
I’m really trying to understand my stepdad. It’s been tough these first few years, but I’m trying. This article gave me some good insight on what he must be thinking, so thank you!
My ex-boy dumped me 6 months ago after I accused him of seeing another woman and insulting him.I want him back in my life but he refused to have any contact with me.He changed his line,block me from sending him email and facebook.I was so confuse and don’t know what to do. So I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimonies of how this powerful spell caster help them to get their ex back. So I contact the spell caster whose name is Dr Shiva and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 2days that my ex will return to me, and to my greatest surprise the Second day my ex came knocking at my door and ask me to forgive him.I am so happy that my love is back again. Once again thank you Dr Shiva,you are truly talented and gifted. Email: reunitingexspell2@gmail.com . He is the only answer to your problems.He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing his name for the good work he did for me andpeople are still talking about him on the Internet. REUNITINGEXSPELL@YAHOO.COM
With great joy in my heart with the help of priest omigodo for helping me get back my lover with his powerful love spell in just 2days if you are in need of any kind of spell contact him via email: omigodoshrine@hotmail.co.uk or call priest omigodo on +2348079367204
I am in a situation right now where I feel that there is a big decision to be made. This is my tipping point and I really need some advice. So, I have been with my bf for 4 years and he has a daughter who is 9. When I met my bf he and his ex shared custody (mutual agreement..not court ordered) 50-50 and lived within 10 mins of each other in CA. I lived @45 mins away and eventually he moved in with me. His daughter would still come and stay with us and he was still doing 50-50 time with her. Then I noticed that his ex would start changing the rules a little bit…calling last minute to tell him that she couldn’t pick his daughter up from school so he would have to go get her (which usually meant over an hour in traffic) or deciding not to bring her over on the weekend because she just didn’t feel like making the drive so if he wanted her (which he always did) he would have to come get her himself. It started becoming obvious to me that the ex was using my bf’s daughter as a pawn to continue to control him. Anyways, after about 1 1/2 years, I got a good job on the East coast and decided to move. I told my bf that I understood if he did not want to come with me as I didn’t want to make him choose between me and his daughter. He talked with his ex and she agreed to send their daughter to visit us on the East Coast over the summer. So, we’re out there for about 3 months..summer is just around the corner when she says that she’s changed her mind and she doesn’t want to send his daughter to the East Coast. Of course my bf was very upset and told me he needed to move back to CA to be with her. I agreed to go back with him, but ultimately he got a job offer in TX where he is from and all his family still lives. His ex agreed to send his daughter there because she has a lot of cousins etc and she loves it. Great. So for the last 2 years we’ve been here in TX and his daughter’s been coming here for holidays, summer etc. and it’s been mostly good. His ex has also been dropping massive hints about possibly moving out here as well, which has allowed my bf to hope that one day he can again be close to his daughter all the time. Well, just this past weekend she said she’s not going to be sending his daughter this summer. Of course my bf is distraught and told me that we need to move back to CA immediately. I’m so exhausted! I love my bf forever, but I can’t deal with living by this crazy woman’s rules! I told him that if he moves, I don’t want to go with him which of course broke his heart, but what am I supposed to do? I feel like every time we set roots down and start getting established (we just bought a house here) she waves this trump card of his child in his face and gets him to do whatever she wants! He doesn’t want to take her to court because he feels his daughter would suffer, but I’m just at wits end. I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t want to live like this anymore! Help!
My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted Dr. OKORO LOVE SPELL and after I explained my problem, In just 3 days my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solved our issues, and we are even happier more than ever before Dr. OKORO you are the best spell caster. I really appreciate the love spell you cast for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work. Thank you once again Dr. OKORO. You can also contact Dr. OKORO via email address: dr.okorospelltemple01@gmail.com in case you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your problem Contact Email is: dr.okorospelltemple01@gmail.com CONTACT HIM TODAY VIA THIS EMAIL ADDRESS: dr.okorospelltemple01@gmail.com AS HIS POWERS ARE SO STRONG AND VERY EFFECTIVE AND HAS NO BAD EFFECT INSTEAD IT HAVE A VERY GOOD RESULT AFTER CASTING THE SPELL.
Dr. OKORO NUMBER: +2348053209149
Contact Dr. OKORO Via email: dr.okorospelltemple01@gmail.com
Thanks Lindsay for the wonderful advice!
On point number one … my bf’s first wife died when his kids are very young (1 and 3), is it reasonable to expect I could eventually fill a mother’s role when I marry him? His kids are now 12 (girl) and 10 (boy), they’re really very sweet, like me and asked me if I could be their mother, but I wonder if I should protect myself by reminding myself that I’d never be their mother, even though they have very little memory of their bio mother?
Oh my God, I’m so glad to tell everyone the real thing that happen to me…My name is EMILIANO BABARAH. If i refuse to share this testimony it means i am selfish to my self and to people i love so much whom might have similar problems, March 16th about something 7:23pm after taken our dinner my husband got crazy started calling a lady name Melisa I love you, i was so mad and started crying like a baby…then my husband left home for the idiot called Melisa, and never return back home then i believed when he uthen nderstand his self he will surly come back to apology, but instead he left me So i complained to my friend she told me she was having such problems in her marriage until she was introduce to DR ORIOMON who specializes in bringing back broken homes and broken marriages DR ORIOMON cast a spell for me in May 4th surprisingly my husband came home May 6th apologizing that i should forgive him that it will never happen again, i was so glad and gave the thanks to DR ORIOMON who save my marriage, if you are having similar problem you can contact him and His email address is (oriomonspiritualtemple@yahoo.com) you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband.
Thanks EMILIANO BABARAH_USA
who ever is reading this testimony today should please celebrate with me
and my family because it all started like a joke to some people and others
said it was impossible. my name is Michael i live in Chicago i am happily
married with two kids and a lovely wife something terrible happen to my
family along the line, i lost my job and my wife packed out of my house
because i was unable to take care of her and my kids at that particular
time. i manage all through five years, no wife to support me to take care
of the children and there come a faithful day that i will never forget in
my life i met an old friend who i explain all my difficulties to, and he
took me to a spell caster and and the name of the temple is called, DR
Okundonor, i was assure that everything will be fine and my wife will come
back to me after the wonderful work of Dr Okundonorgreatspell, my wife
came back to me and today i am one of the richest man in my country. i
advice you if you have any problem email him with this email:
dr.okundonorgreatspell@gmail.com and you will have the best result. take
things for granted and it will be take from you. i wish you all the best.
Contact: dr.okundonorgreatspell@gmail.com (or contact him through his mobile:+2348072099116
Hmm. I have another BRUTAL Truth here. Be honest with yourself, when you walk into a family don’t:
A. Take charge and assume everything you’re doing is correct. Be willing to compromise
B. Feel the need to pop out a few kids to ‘secure’ your place in the family, and completely ignore your ‘kids’. This isolates them.
Be SURE to:
C. Look at them as your children. For you to even suggest that you “can never be their mother” is disgusting. I have a stepmother who, I found out three years ago, never looked at me as her child, that she never did things for me or even thought of, until her child came along. My father had to intervene and shush her. She didn’t even REALIZE what she was saying! She distanced herself from me, deliberately, because of that STUPID assumed rule that simply originates from stepmothers stupid inferiority complex. That will always haunt me knowing that.
D. Children’s needs come before your own, woman. Understand that. I’m not saying: Let them run the house. However, do not cause a rift between child and parent, that is wrong and immoral. You understood what you were signing up for, be gracious about it. P.s. Your therapist will tell you anything to get you coming back, that is money in their pocket for them.
E. Stop your moaning about the terrors of being a stepmother. Yes, its stressful. But you sound like a prima donna, darling, do share more of your self righteous advice.
Last Note: Why don’t you make a book on this. I’m SURE you’ll do great…not as if it could possibly get lost amongst the trash collected section of poor parenting.
Hello to all my Name is Selina from United States of America , I do hope my post gets read and hopefully helps somebody along the line. i will never forget the help the priest of JAYEMA temple render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 4 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was just checking my mails in the office when i saw someone sharing her testimony on how the priest of JAYEMA temple help her out with her marital problems so i contacted the email of priest JAYEMA i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place that i should fill some information concerning my self i did after 30 minus he called me again congratulating me that my problems will be solve within 48 hours. he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage but i will make a free donation to their JAYEMA home anything my heart told me. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don’t you give priest JAYEMA a try they work surprises because i know they will also bring back your husband. contact him via jayemamagictemple@gmail.com you can still visit his web site jayemamagictemple.webs.com or Tel; +(234)-706819-3499. sure he will help you get the problem solved okay.
Hello i am BERNARD TRACY, I am out here
to spread
this good news to the world at large on how I got my divorce husband
back. I
was going crazy when my husband left me for another woman and things was
up
side down and i was searching for help to get him back by all means
because i love him so much but a very good friend of mine told me about a
very great spell caster Dr.Hercules the great spell caster that also
helped
her when he was facing with such problem and this spell caster is the
great messenger to the oracle that he serve. I contacted Dr Hercules and
narrated my problem to him how my divorce husband left me and he assured
me that
he will help me, and he said that i have come to the right place where i
will be getting my heart desires without any side effect and he also
told me that in 24hours my husband will call me for apology. I did not
believe him but when he finished casting the spell, my husband called me
on
the phone on the 2nd day just as Dr. Hercules has said, he was
apologizing
for leaving me before, that i should forgive him that he is ready to
come back for ever. Now we are the happiest couple in the world and i am
so happy and overwhelmed that i have to share this to the entire world
to contact Dr Hercules on his private email address and get all your
problems solve. No problem is too big for him to solve.. Contact him
directly on: greatherculesspelltemple@gmail.com or through his website http://greatherculesspeltemple.webs.com/ He is real so contact him now. Thank you Dr Hercules for helping me bring back my husband.
THE GREAT POWERFUL SPELL CASTER THAT BRING BACK MY EX BOYFRIEND. I just want to say thank you Dr BABA for all you have done for me. He is back now. That very powerful spell caster STOP THE DIVORCE – and get my ex boyfriend back. My name is Annmarie Silvia , from ENGLAND. I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went for a business summit early this year. I meant a man who’s name is Dr BABA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down because our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster,i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try.And in 7 days when i returned to ENGLAND, my boyfriend(now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mother and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better.in case you are in any situation you can contact Dr BABA at his email baba100spelltemple@gmail.com thank to all your help Dr BABA i promise to share this Testimony to every body in the world wide baba100spelltemple@gmail.com
I’m not a stepmom but your insights seem so on point. I have friend who was a stepmom for a few years and it sounded like a thankless job. Nice article.
My husband and I blended our families 19 years ago and what a roller coaster ride it has been. At the time they were ages 7, 5, 3 and 3. We each brought two children into the mix and had full custody. Our ride has been completely frightening, exhilarating and rewarding all at the same time! I believe in every point you made and feel like you were writing my story. There are many things I could’ve done differently, but I wouldn’t change one thing actually. We are imperfect – but we ARE family. Love my crazy bunch!
PS: I can’t believe any mother and/or stepmother would be horrified by what you wrote. If her stepson is throwing some of what you wrote in her face, maybe it’s time to take a step back and do some self reflection. Thanks for sharing!
Bravo, Lindsay. Your article resonated deeply for me and I was happy to read the ways in which you continue to re-calibrate your role in family and in relationship to your step-daughters.
I had a stepmom who consistently did all the things you have advised not to do and I can’t begin to describe the damage that was done to my brother and I by this woman. And my Dad let it happen. And I was a good kid.
In the end, I had to separate myself from my father’s side of the family altogether and go on to live my life or not survive. Which ultimately made me stronger and a much better individual.
I sought counseling and did everything I could to heal the wounds that were a result of my parents divorce and the fallout from the way my stepmother treated us.
The commentary below about children not coming first strikes me as an un-evolved belief system, one that I experienced first hand. I think your recommendation of seeking help through counseling and family therapy is a much more productive measure than blindly deciding that the marriage comes first.
I would like to believe the reason most kids act out is that they feel they aren’t heard. My parent’s divorce was devastating to both my brother
and I (we were in our young teens) and there was never any acknowledgement of what we might have gone through. It was all about the adults. Everyone just wanted to pick up and start fresh.
I think your step children are lucky to have you in their lives as someone who is thoughtful enough to consider your role in their life from different points of view.
Thank you, from one step mom to another. Thank you
I’ve had my stepmother since Iws 11. My brothers and I (we are triplets) are turning 18 next week. Our stepmom never had any kids of her own. She always complains that our faults were because of our mother (deceased, making our father a widow and marrying HER five months later.) No problems are ever her fault, and “her father is rolling in his grave thinking what bratty, spoiled, rude, stupid kids we are.” It’s gotten to the point of absurdity. My dad is usually laid back and unless it’s a big issue, will have the kids solve our issues and govern ourselves properly, on our own. Now, my dad is always down our throats about one thing or another, because all she does is complain. She enjoys being angry and puts herself constantly in a terrible mood, and takes her issues out on us, especially me. One brother joined the military, the other has catastrophic brain damage from an accident. These aren’t my fault, and I have suffered because of these. I’ve literally known my brothers my whole life, but now we have no bond whatsoever. I’m alone, and I hate being called a bitch. I can’t even talk to my dad about it, because he knows she attacks me verbally, but can’t do anything about it. She lashes out all the time with a sharp tongue. I know she has had bad experiences in her past, but this is absolutely ludicrous. Help….
Am Sevda Gulea i want to thank Dr. DR EBOEHI for getting my lover back to me within 48 hours. When my lover left me i was so tired and frustrated till i search the internet for help and i saw so many good talk about Dr. DR EBOEHI of (supernaturalspelltemple@gmail.com) and i decided to give him a try and i contact him and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell for me which i use to get my husband back. If you want to get your lover back contact DR EBOEHI via email: (supernaturalspelltemple@gmail.com DR EBOEHI the great man that is able to bring back
I ordered a spell on a Friday night and on Monday the place I applied for a job called for me to come by their office. They gave me the job I applied for and made me an offer of more per hour than I have ever made in my life! I am so happy! The government jobs sometimes are a slow process. You somehow managed to speed up that process, and Istart in just a few days! dr,kokotemple i will be forever grateful thank ones again ok you can call on him for help on his email address dr,kokotemple@gmail.com
WHO SO EVER IS READING THIS TESTIMONY TODAY SHOULD PLEASE CELEBRATE WITH ME BECA– USE AM SO HAPPY FOR THE GREAT WORK DR. ehizojlespiritual DID FOR ME.I am Miss JENNIFER from USA, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank Dr.ehizojlespiritualfor bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found greattebespelltemple@gmail.com A great spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in just 24hours after the spell has been cast. 24hours later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 3 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. Dr.ehizojlespiritualreleased him, to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much love we have share together. As I am writing this testimony right now i am the most happiest girl on earth and me and my fiance is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that is why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe. All thanks goes to Dr.ehizojlespiritua for the excessive work that he has done for me. Here is his email address Dr.ehizojlespiritual@gmail.com In any relationship situation you are undergoing in life, contact Dr.ehizojlespiritual today for speed help and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too.
My name is CLIFFORD MARY from USA .I am here to give testimony on how I got my husband back. My husband left me for no reason 3
years ago. He moved in with another woman, I felt like killing myself,
my life became very bitter and sorrowful. Then 1 day, a friend of mine
told me about a great spell caster that is very good and, he said he gave him some lucky numbers that he played in a
lottery and he won. I didn’t believe it because I’ve worked with so many
of them and it didn’t work. He begged me further so I decided to try
this great spell caster called DR OZIL. I still
didn’t believe. I used the spell he gave me and the next day I received a
call from my darling husband Thomas last month. He apologized and came
back to me. He even gave me 10,000USD as a means of compensating me. I’m
very happy now. Thank you DR OZIL, You can reach him via
email:(drozilsolutionhome@gmail.com or drozilsolutionhome@yahoo.com ) or through his website: http://drozilsolutionhome.webs.com/
He can solve any problem like,
(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) you need a divorce in your relationship.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women & men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband & wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial stance.
(9) He can make you pregnancy.
(10) He can cure you from any diseases.
contact:drozilsolutionhome@gmail.com or drozilsolutionhome@yahoo.com or you can call him +2347032618863
Dr. Telemi is a trust worthy spell caster and he will
be of great help to you. I never believed in spell casting but After 4
years of marriage my husband left me because I lost my womb, and i was
unable to give birth to children. I felt like my life has come to an
end, and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very
long time, but thanks to this spell caster called Dr. Telemi whom i met
online after my friend Tracy James told me how he also helped her to
bring back her husband in less than 2 days. I believed her and decided
to give Dr. Telemi a try and i contacted him on his email Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
and explained my problems to him. He laughed and told me that In less
than 2 days, my Husband will come back for me again, and that he will
restore my womb and i will give birth to children. At first i thought it
was a lie but i took courage and believed as Dr. Telemi has said and it
did happen just as this Great spell caster said, My husband called me
and was crying, apologizing for forgiveness. I forgave him and today i
am so glad that all worries and problems has gone away, and we are even
happier than before, another good news is that i am pregnant now, and
very soon we are expecting our baby. Dr. Telemi is really a gifted and a
powerful spiritual man and i will not stop publishing him because he is
a wonderful man. I advice you all If you have a problem and you are
looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems
just Contact Dr Telemi on his email on Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
at anytime, because he will always help you to solve all your problems.
Once again thank you Dr. Telemi. Thank you, thank you.
Dr. Telemi is a trust worthy spell caster and he will
be of great help to you. I never believed in spell casting but After 4
years of marriage my husband left me because I lost my womb, and i was
unable to give birth to children. I felt like my life has come to an
end, and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very
long time, but thanks to this spell caster called Dr. Telemi whom i met
online after my friend Tracy James told me how he also helped her to
bring back her husband in less than 2 days. I believed her and decided
to give Dr. Telemi a try and i contacted him on his email Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
and explained my problems to him. He laughed and told me that In less
than 2 days, my Husband will come back for me again, and that he will
restore my womb and i will give birth to children. At first i thought it
was a lie but i took courage and believed as Dr. Telemi has said and it
did happen just as this Great spell caster said, My husband called me
and was crying, apologizing for forgiveness. I forgave him and today i
am so glad that all worries and problems has gone away, and we are even
happier than before, another good news is that i am pregnant now, and
very soon we are expecting our baby. Dr. Telemi is really a gifted and a
powerful spiritual man and i will not stop publishing him because he is
a wonderful man. I advice you all If you have a problem and you are
looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems
just Contact Dr Telemi on his email on Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
at anytime, because he will always help you to solve all your problems.
Once again thank you Dr. Telemi. Thank you, thank you……………………………………
Dr. Telemi is a trust worthy spell caster and he will
be of great help to you. I never believed in spell casting but After 4
years of marriage my husband left me because I lost my womb, and i was
unable to give birth to children. I felt like my life has come to an
end, and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very
long time, but thanks to this spell caster called Dr. Telemi whom i met
online after my friend Tracy James told me how he also helped her to
bring back her husband in less than 2 days. I believed her and decided
to give Dr. Telemi a try and i contacted him on his email Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
and explained my problems to him. He laughed and told me that In less
than 2 days, my Husband will come back for me again, and that he will
restore my womb and i will give birth to children. At first i thought it
was a lie but i took courage and believed as Dr. Telemi has said and it
did happen just as this Great spell caster said, My husband called me
and was crying, apologizing for forgiveness. I forgave him and today i
am so glad that all worries and problems has gone away, and we are even
happier than before, another good news is that i am pregnant now, and
very soon we are expecting our baby. Dr. Telemi is really a gifted and a
powerful spiritual man and i will not stop publishing him because he is
a wonderful man. I advice you all If you have a problem and you are
looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems
just Contact Dr Telemi on his email on Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
at anytime, because he will always help you to solve all your problems.
Once again thank you Dr. Telemi. Thank you, thank you.
Dr. Telemi is a trust worthy spell caster and he will
be of great help to you. I never believed in spell casting but After 4
years of marriage my husband left me because I lost my womb, and i was
unable to give birth to children. I felt like my life has come to an
end, and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very
long time, but thanks to this spell caster called Dr. Telemi whom i met
online after my friend Tracy James told me how he also helped her to
bring back her husband in less than 2 days. I believed her and decided
to give Dr. Telemi a try and i contacted him on his email Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
and explained my problems to him. He laughed and told me that In less
than 2 days, my Husband will come back for me again, and that he will
restore my womb and i will give birth to children. At first i thought it
was a lie but i took courage and believed as Dr. Telemi has said and it
did happen just as this Great spell caster said, My husband called me
and was crying, apologizing for forgiveness. I forgave him and today i
am so glad that all worries and problems has gone away, and we are even
happier than before, another good news is that i am pregnant now, and
very soon we are expecting our baby. Dr. Telemi is really a gifted and a
powerful spiritual man and i will not stop publishing him because he is
a wonderful man. I advice you all If you have a problem and you are
looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems
just Contact Dr Telemi on his email on Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
at anytime, because he will always help you to solve all your problems.
Once again thank you Dr. Telemi. Thank you, thank you.
Dr. Telemi is a trust worthy spell caster and he will
be of great help to you. I never believed in spell casting but After 4
years of marriage my husband left me because I lost my womb, and i was
unable to give birth to children. I felt like my life has come to an
end, and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very
long time, but thanks to this spell caster called Dr. Telemi whom i met
online after my friend Tracy James told me how he also helped her to
bring back her husband in less than 2 days. I believed her and decided
to give Dr. Telemi a try and i contacted him on his email Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
and explained my problems to him. He laughed and told me that In less
than 2 days, my Husband will come back for me again, and that he will
restore my womb and i will give birth to children. At first i thought it
was a lie but i took courage and believed as Dr. Telemi has said and it
did happen just as this Great spell caster said, My husband called me
and was crying, apologizing for forgiveness. I forgave him and today i
am so glad that all worries and problems has gone away, and we are even
happier than before, another good news is that i am pregnant now, and
very soon we are expecting our baby. Dr. Telemi is really a gifted and a
powerful spiritual man and i will not stop publishing him because he is
a wonderful man. I advice you all If you have a problem and you are
looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems
just Contact Dr Telemi on his email on Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
at anytime, because he will always help you to solve all your problems.
Once again thank you Dr. Telemi. Thank you, thank you…………………………….
Dr. Telemi is a trust worthy spell caster and he will
be of great help to you. I never believed in spell casting but After 4
years of marriage my husband left me because I lost my womb, and i was
unable to give birth to children. I felt like my life has come to an
end, and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very
long time, but thanks to this spell caster called Dr. Telemi whom i met
online after my friend Tracy James told me how he also helped her to
bring back her husband in less than 2 days. I believed her and decided
to give Dr. Telemi a try and i contacted him on his email Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
and explained my problems to him. He laughed and told me that In less
than 2 days, my Husband will come back for me again, and that he will
restore my womb and i will give birth to children. At first i thought it
was a lie but i took courage and believed as Dr. Telemi has said and it
did happen just as this Great spell caster said, My husband called me
and was crying, apologizing for forgiveness. I forgave him and today i
am so glad that all worries and problems has gone away, and we are even
happier than before, another good news is that i am pregnant now, and
very soon we are expecting our baby. Dr. Telemi is really a gifted and a
powerful spiritual man and i will not stop publishing him because he is
a wonderful man. I advice you all If you have a problem and you are
looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems
just Contact Dr Telemi on his email on Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
at anytime, because he will always help you to solve all your problems.
Once again thank you Dr. Telemi. Thank you, thank you.
Dr. Telemi is a trust worthy spell caster and he will
be of great help to you. I never believed in spell casting but After 4
years of marriage my husband left me because I lost my womb, and i was
unable to give birth to children. I felt like my life has come to an
end, and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very
long time, but thanks to this spell caster called Dr. Telemi whom i met
online after my friend Tracy James told me how he also helped her to
bring back her husband in less than 2 days. I believed her and decided
to give Dr. Telemi a try and i contacted him on his email Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
and explained my problems to him. He laughed and told me that In less
than 2 days, my Husband will come back for me again, and that he will
restore my womb and i will give birth to children. At first i thought it
was a lie but i took courage and believed as Dr. Telemi has said and it
did happen just as this Great spell caster said, My husband called me
and was crying, apologizing for forgiveness. I forgave him and today i
am so glad that all worries and problems has gone away, and we are even
happier than before, another good news is that i am pregnant now, and
very soon we are expecting our baby. Dr. Telemi is really a gifted and a
powerful spiritual man and i will not stop publishing him because he is
a wonderful man. I advice you all If you have a problem and you are
looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems
just Contact Dr Telemi on his email on Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
at anytime, because he will always help you to solve all your problems.
Once again thank you Dr. Telemi. Thank you, thank you……………………………
Dr. Telemi is a trust worthy spell caster and he will
be of great help to you. I never believed in spell casting but After 4
years of marriage my husband left me because I lost my womb, and i was
unable to give birth to children. I felt like my life has come to an
end, and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very
long time, but thanks to this spell caster called Dr. Telemi whom i met
online after my friend Tracy James told me how he also helped her to
bring back her husband in less than 2 days. I believed her and decided
to give Dr. Telemi a try and i contacted him on his email Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
and explained my problems to him. He laughed and told me that In less
than 2 days, my Husband will come back for me again, and that he will
restore my womb and i will give birth to children. At first i thought it
was a lie but i took courage and believed as Dr. Telemi has said and it
did happen just as this Great spell caster said, My husband called me
and was crying, apologizing for forgiveness. I forgave him and today i
am so glad that all worries and problems has gone away, and we are even
happier than before, another good news is that i am pregnant now, and
very soon we are expecting our baby. Dr. Telemi is really a gifted and a
powerful spiritual man and i will not stop publishing him because he is
a wonderful man. I advice you all If you have a problem and you are
looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems
just Contact Dr Telemi on his email on Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
at anytime, because he will always help you to solve all your problems.
Once again thank you Dr. Telemi. Thank you, thank you.
Dr. Telemi is a trust worthy spell caster and he will
be of great help to you. I never believed in spell casting but After 4
years of marriage my husband left me because I lost my womb, and i was
unable to give birth to children. I felt like my life has come to an
end, and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very
long time, but thanks to this spell caster called Dr. Telemi whom i met
online after my friend Tracy James told me how he also helped her to
bring back her husband in less than 2 days. I believed her and decided
to give Dr. Telemi a try and i contacted him on his email Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
and explained my problems to him. He laughed and told me that In less
than 2 days, my Husband will come back for me again, and that he will
restore my womb and i will give birth to children. At first i thought it
was a lie but i took courage and believed as Dr. Telemi has said and it
did happen just as this Great spell caster said, My husband called me
and was crying, apologizing for forgiveness. I forgave him and today i
am so glad that all worries and problems has gone away, and we are even
happier than before, another good news is that i am pregnant now, and
very soon we are expecting our baby. Dr. Telemi is really a gifted and a
powerful spiritual man and i will not stop publishing him because he is
a wonderful man. I advice you all If you have a problem and you are
looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems
just Contact Dr Telemi on his email on Telemisolutiontemple@yahoo.com
at anytime, because he will always help you to solve all your problems.
Once again thank you Dr. Telemi. Thank you, thank you……………………………..
[…] It isn’t easy, emotions run rampant, and there are always hurdles to get across. These 10 brutal truths about being a stepmom will add to any blended family’s arsenal of wisdom and mantras you repeat under your breath […]
I just wanted to say thank you for writing this! I started crying half way through it because I’ve experienced all these feelings and needed to know there are others out there that feel the same way
You’re not alone!
You’re not alone!
[…] online writing knows that I’ve shared some pretty vulnerable moments over the years, from the mistakes I made as a stepmom to the shame I felt about my postpartum depression to my discovery that trusted adults in my […]
[…] Thank you to Lindsay Ferrier for writing a wonderful article called: “10 Brutal Truths About Being a Step Mom.” […]