Famous in Canada

I’m now in my ninth year of blogging, and over the years I’ve poured out my soul to you on the most sensitive topics– from religion and breastfeeding to circumcision and the truth about being a stepmom.  I’ve spent countless hours reworking posts until they’re just right, snapping pictures and editing them for my blog, and answering blog-related comments and e-mails.

But while I’ve had modest success with Suburban Turmoil- enough to fashion a fulfilling career around it-  I’ve never had a post that has truly gone viral.

Until now.

At this very moment, my blog is averaging about 2 readers per second. That’s 120 readers per minute. That’s 7,200 PER HOUR.

That’s a lot of people, y’all.

And they’re all coming to my blog to see one post. One. Post. It must be a post that’s truly epic, right? One that took me weeks to craft. One that’s both incredibly vulnerable and at the same time magnificently written. My Magnum Opus.

Heh.

In all honesty, the post that’s drawing in the masses took me less than 20 minutes to create, from start to finish. It’s not controversial. It doesn’t inspire you, or make you think.

It just helps you get rid of fruit flies.

Yeah. Nine years of blogging and my best post is all about how to get rid of fruit flies.
I wrote the post last week after suffering yet another infestation here at Chez Ferrier. I figured a few of my friends out there probably had similar fruit fly woes, and I shared a foolproof technique to get rid of them that has saved my sanity over the years.

What I didn’t realize is that at this very moment, North America is in the throes of a major fruit fly invasion. I say ‘North America’ because a significant number of my new readers are from Canada, where citizens are apparently suffering from a veritable fruit fly PLAGUE. Consequently, my post has been pinned and repinned, shared and reshared, to the point where my blog is starting to feel a bit like a Walmart on Black Friday.

And I now have questions. So many questions. Will my website server go down as a result of all the traffic? Will the Today Show call? Will I be known forevermore as The Fruit Fly Lady? Should I trademark that? Should I get an agent? Write a book? Run for Congress? Launch a talk show? Do I need a bodyguard? Is that guy on my cul-de-sac really out for a jog, OR IS HE TRYING TO TAKE MY PICTURE?

I did wear a pair of very dark glasses when I dropped the kids off at school today– only because I didn’t have any makeup on. But I probably also saved my kids’ teachers from having to deal with a horde of Fruit Fly Lady groupies, all seeking my autograph. YOU’RE WELCOME, TEACHERS.

All I know right now is that I’ve hit the big time.

The fruit fly big time.

Life is seriously weird.