What Was Found Inside This Shattered Garden Gnome Will Totally Freak You Out

In his 28 years as a TV news reporter, my husband has broken some major stories.

But this particular investigation may be his biggest yet.

Witness it for yourselves, friends:

 

 
From London to Connecticut, the entire world is now transfixed by the mysterious figure that Tennessee resident Heather Andrews found inside this garden gnome. Is it an angel? Is it a Greek goddess?

Is it Jesus… with… moobs?

We may never know.

Rest assured that Dennis is continuing his gnome investigation– He still has a whole lot of questions. What, for example, does Target have to say about this gnome, which it sold without a word of explanation to an unsuspecting customer? And how about the International Gnome Society– They’ve been strangely silent about this whole affair. Then there’s the Catholic Church- Shouldn’t they have made an official statement by now?  I definitely smell a cover-up.

This story is still developing…