>Birthday Parties? Bah Humbug.
>Is it possible to have a child’s birthday party for under $200?
I mean, everyone has one amazing exception when I ask this question, of a friend who had a circus themed extravaganza in her backyard and made everything herself… Or they suggest a trusty Chuck E. Cheese party, which can be (if you keep it small) far less than two hundred bones.
But I’m talking about the rest of us, who want to celebrate our kids’ birthdays without going to extraordinary effort, and who, like me, have already played the Chuck E. Cheese card and therefore must come up with a new idea. I did quite a bit of research for Punky’s fourth birthday party, planning to spend between $70-$100. I learned pretty quickly that my price range was all but impossible, unless I wanted to take my chances on a first-come-first-served gazebo at the local playground (I didn’t, and it’s a good thing, because it was cold and rainy on the day of Punky’s birthday party). No form of children’s birthday party entertainment in Nashville came to less than $200 if cake and party supplies were factored in, and quite a few came to much, much more.
The whole thing makes me sort of… angry. Each preschool party I hear about or get invited to seems to be more elaborate than the last. Punky has been invited to several fourth birthday parties held for children she hardly knows, with professionally printed invitations and massive guest lists. My friends have had petting zoo parties, princess makeover parties, professionally-planned tea parties, parties with inflatables, clowns, magicians,rock bands… the list is endless. It’s all so elaborate that I feel like I have to have something cool on my preschool party agenda or no one will show. I may not have a lot of cash, but I do have a lot of, well, pride.
So this year, I opted for a woman who came to our house and held a Build-a-Bear style workshop. It ended up being awesome- there was singing and storytelling, the kids loved it, the stuffed animals were high quality, and I felt good that at least the money we spent on the party went largely toward giving each of our guests something cool to take home, as opposed to plastic baggies containing lots of cheap crap.
But we spent way more than I wanted to… We spent more on the party than we’re spending on Punky’s birthday presents. And that kind of sucks.
I’m planning on writing a newspaper column on this whole birthday party “competition” that parents have going, so I’d love your thoughts on the whole thing. How elaborate are the parties you’ve been to or heard about? What’s the most you’ve spent on a birthday party? (You can go anonymous on that one if you’d like.) Are you, like me, sickened by how expensive everything has gotten? For example, I was going to reserve a room at a new strip mall playcenter down the street, thinking it would cost $50-$75 for an hour or two. Um, no. It was $200. And that included basically nothing, unless you count the “personal party planner,” who would ostensibly tell me what, exactly? What color cake I should buy for my daughter?
Also, what about presents? I had only six friends over for Punky’s party, but their generosity overwhelmed me. Punky now has all kinds of lovely new toys around the house and I can’t help but feel like it’s too much for a four year old, although she’s certainly not complaining! Now, I’m thinking about what I’m supposed to buy for Punky’s friend, who’s having a 50-kid birthday party next month. 50 presents! 50 presents for a four-year-old! The thought of that literally makes my head explode. Are we on the same page here, or do I just need to get with the party program?
>This phenomenon blows my mind. I hate the feeling of “Having To Make It Bigger” because of what Johnny’s mom did. I also hate the idea that four and five year olds are getting party’s that are setting up their sweet sixteens to be bigger than my wedding was!! We keep the birthday small for now. Hoping that Toddler won’t notice. We figure that way we get a couple of years before the panic sets in and we have to do the friend party thing. Once kindergarten starts all bets are off I am sure.
>Whew! This birthday party stuff makes me relieved I don’t have kids! How many 4yo kids actually have 50 friends? If this is more like 10 friends with the friends’ parents and siblings, then maybe it’s more like 10 gifts? Still seems like a lot of people and stuff.
>I threw my oldest backyard BBQ’s for friends (he didn’t have many kid friends for awhile) and only recently started having someone else do it.We took the kids to our local children’s museum and they did all of the legwork for us. It DID cost a bit much, maybe $350, but I’m not certain I could make it much smaller if I tried to (cost wise, I mean).I don’t know WHAT the answer is, really, I don’t. We never we able to spend much less than that when we had it at home.*sighs*
>CafePress is your friend.
>But even with CafePress this “All Jellyfish, All the Time” party we’re planning for my daughter’s First birthday is going to hurt.What does she care? She’ll be one, covered in frosting, and passed out after the sugar rush.
>My theory is that you can keep them small and simple until about three or four- that’s when things start to go into overdrive. I blame preschool.
>When they were small we only ever had old-fashioned parties at home. I’ve thrown parties for 20 kids for less than 200 dollars. The most fun parties are the ones with old-fashioned games. My kids would usually pick a theme–say firefighter, and I’d do pin the hat on the firefighter, etc.Kids LOVE this stuff–they love sack races, and egg relays, and all that. The point of a party should be to have fun with your friends. All that other crap is for the adults to show off.As the kids got older we did do rock climbing, or the BMX park, but we usually went in with a friend that had a birthday around the same time.This hits a total nerve with me.
>Oh, boy. I have to comment on this one because I so KNOW where you are coming from. Two things around here that are a bit cheaper (still at 100 bucks or a little more, but way under $200 are bowling parties and a gymnastics place here that does great parties. I’ve done the bowling twice for my son and now am doing the gymnastics for my daughter. Of course, if I added up the cake, the plates, and party favors, we’re well over $200 though. Sigh.How about a good old-fashioned party at a neat park grilling out hot dogs or something for the kids? I have also heard that there are characters you can have come and entertain at your party, but I bet that’s pricier too.We can’t win, can we? I’ll have to monitor this and see if anyone comes up with anything for next year. Fortunately, my son is turning 9 this summer and we’re pushing for the friend spend-the-night type of thing to get around it all.
>My daughter’s 4th birthday party is on Saturday (we’re in the nashville area). We rented a shelter at the park (so we didn’t have to take our chances). I sprung for the more expensive one closest to the playground…$40 for 2 hours..otherwise it would have only been $10. I’m making cupcakes, sandwiches, pasta salad, bringing chips and drinks for lunch. Then I’m doing goodie bags from party central and dollar general, and target (candy). Hoping that the whole thing can be done for under $100. Yah…I’m cheap and don’t care about keeping up with others 🙂
>We had a party for my son on his 6th birthday. We had it at our local park and my 17 year old daughter and a couple of her friends organized games such as relay races, pop a balloon races, tag, etc. The girls also came up with a treasure map that led to a wrapped box filled with fun little items from Dollar General. I made a homemade cake and homemade ice cream. Treat bags were just bags from Dollar General and they had pencils, stickers, and candy in them that probably cost $1 per kid. I took a photo of each child standing with my son and we then sent these to of them with a thank you card. The guests were thrilled. The party probably cost me $30-35. In fact, these kids still come up to me a year later and ask if Sam is going to have another party like that again this year. I just find it crazy that people spend these outrageous amounts of money on a birthday party for little kids. I mean really. Where does it stop?Kristina
>What the frick??Whatever happened to a house full of kids for a few hours entertaining themselves with cake and pizza and obnoxious noise makers??And when they get older – a house full of kids for the night, entertaining themselves with sleeping bags and flashlights and movies they never get to stay up and watch normally??We loved that stuff as a kid.
>When my older children were turning four, we did small parties for the kids with family and some close personal friends. Nothing big, just a pizza party at CEC or a BBQ in the backyard with some fun and games for the kids.My twins will turn four next month and as you can imagine, parties for them will definately be expensive, so this year we plan on doing the CEC thing, just the family…nothing big, but when they start school (kindergarden) we’ll start real parties with friends and such. Like you said, these kids barely know each other in preschool.
>And of course I left out suggestions. For my older daughers, we’ve done make over parties at home where we do their hair, nails, let them dress up. For good bags, I bought mini gift bags and put child friendly make up in it with little bracelets and such. That was a blast. We combined both girls birthdays that year and invited their separate friends, it was a hit. I do have to add that i think 1 friend per year of the child’s age works out well too.
>I guess I find that all a bit much. If our kids even get parties (which they don’t every year because, you know, there are other things in life – we do always celebrate with family), we have a few close friends. This year will be the first year I actually do a real kid party for my son, who’ll be turning seven. Fortunately, out of the 20 kids in his class, only 6 are boys. He might invite a couple other boys who are friends. We plan to have it outside. He wants a knight theme and I have a friend who makes cakes. We’ll have a few games and the boys will be able to dress up and bring their own swords and shields and whack away at each other. And what is more fun for boys than hitting each other with swords? The “destination” parties are really cool, but it’s not cool if you can’t afford it. Most of my friends are in the same financial boat that I am, so there’s no competition. We haven’t gotten too much into parties with friends at school and since I do feel that what’s fun is for the kids to be together, I don’t feel pressure to do something “better” than someone else. In fact, I’d almost rather the kids didn’t bring gifts. When I was growing up, I didn’t have fancy parties. It was usually just friends and hot dogs or maybe McDonald’s if my folks had extra money. As I got older, we did start to do more exciting things, but I was limited in how many friends I could invite – usually three. I’m sure it was the same for my brothers.Maybe these things are regional? Or depend on your social and financial demographic?
>We live in Italy. The children’s birthday parties are just that: children’s birthday parties. There are usually a handful of kiddie friends and a handful of relatives. The cake is homemade or from the local bakery. Often the grandparents chip in and offer to buy the cake. There are some snacks and toys for the kids to play with. The whole thing lasts a few hours.My son is turning three in a few weeks. When I asked him who he wanted to invite, he said, “My cousins. And my grandfather.” So we will be having a small family affair. He will get a wooden swing set for his birthday and that, to me, is a BIG present, which we can afford, because we are feeding a dozen relatives for his birthday and providing a cake (most likely homemade by yours truly). Sometimes I am SO GLAD I don’t live in the States where there i a lot more pressure to perform.
>I find this ridiculous. My son’s birthday is in January so we usually held most of his parties in our church gym. I always baked the cake because my kids don’t like the taste of the storebought sort. It’s nearly impossible to decorate a huge gym so I didn’t try. I would decorate the cake table and that’s about it. We would serve something simple and kid-friendly like hotdogs. After cake and punch we just let the kids play basketball or volleyball. We didn’t even orchestrate special games but just let them play. Guess what? They loved it. Most kids these days have every moment of their lives planned for them so they relish the time to just do what they want. My daughter’s birthday is in the summer, just before the 4th of July, so her parties often were held outdoors. We have an above ground pool so that was the major entertainment. Although when we lived in town and didn’t have the pool, we set up sprinklers in the front yard and they liked that, too. We usually grilled hot dogs, and had brownies (my daughter doesn’t like cake very well) and homemade ice cream. Sometimes she would have a slumber party. We did a few special parties for them like the dress-up tea party when my daughter turned six. We still did it at home but I splurged on a fancy cake, fresh flowers for the table and my husband dressed up in his suit to serve the young ladies in their fancy dresses and hats. When my son turned 18 we had a big party in our church gym along with a female friend whose birthday was close to his. We did a luau theme but since my parents already had a ton of Hawaiian party items, this still wasn’t very expensive. Plus, we shared the costs with another family.I would simply refuse to play this show-off party game. It just keeps escalating. Be the one to help break the cycle!Oh, and fwiw, my kids were still very popular and no one turned down their invitations. In fact, some of these “kids” who are now young adults, still talk about the fun parties they had. I think the key is to consider what kids enjoy rather than what will impress their parents.
>I have never fed into that crap that says you HAVE to have a big party for your child or you HAVE to invite the whole class. I don’t HAVE TO do anything. As to whether he would “notice” I say, notice what? Notice that his parents love him as much as the next kids but they just don’t see the need for a $500 birthday party with 30 kids? Rant portion over :)My son, now 17, had birthday parties every year. 1-3 year old were family and friends probably 20 adults and kids total. Four year old we had a kids party maybe five kids total in the backyard, bbq, silly games like m&m’s in a spoon races. These were kids he was friends with from his pre-school. We’ve never had more than the neighborhood kids (8 girls and boys)for his parties and everyone has always enjoyed themselves. I’ve always refused to do what everyone else is doing because that’s just not me.
>I’m totally cheap when it comes to parties. My daughter had a ‘camping’ sleepover party, and we just set up the tent in the living room, fed the kids hot dogs and cake, and gave them flashlights to run around with. We painted eyes with glow-in-the-dark paint and taped them up all over the yard and house, and they had a blast. I maybe spent 40 bucks. I don’t buy all that one-upmanship with parties. It’s not what I want to teach my kids. The rule at our house is, if you want to have a crowd, we have it at the house, but if you want to go somewhere fun, it’s just the family and one friend.
>ok…i have to admit I get sucked it to the IDEA of a hip happening party–but being an at home mom and trying to be frugal doesn’t allow it–so I must be creative!I do yearn for the parties when we were kids that included balloons, paper plates, noise makers, and a small goody bag of candy and called it a day! Not to mention the Fun Fetti cake make from a box that cost a whopping $3! How did when get here–when birthdays are much like weddings or showers–filled with themes and $$$? Prior to having kids I did some side nannying in NYC and the parents would literally have blown out carnivals for their kids 1st birthdays—we are talking THOUSANDS of dollars!Now …my kid is only 2 and I can’t promise I won’t get sucked in at some point…and I hate to say it but sometimes in suburban american there is the “keeping up with the Jones” factor….which totally stinks!I am wondering who is marketing this stuff–and making money off of us mom’s trying to “keep up”?Total BS I tell ya!
>No helpful suggestions for girl party or 4 year olds as my oldest is 3 and both are boys but…For my 3yo recent birthday I did a train theme. Made train cupcakes, bought cardboard conductor hats and the goody bags consisted of 1 train sucker, 1 train whistle and a handful of Easter candy (that early Easter was helpful). The plates/cups/napkins just solid colored from a discount store. We set up his train set and a floor train puzzle as the games/activities. We invited his 3 playgroup friends and they all loved it. I probably spent around $40 including the cake and still have some leftover suckers as “special treats”. We had a separate dinner for the local family just to keep it sane around our tiny house.My husband’s family had a tradition I just learned about that will go into effect this year. 1 party every 5 years (turning 5, 10, etc). We will still celebrate on an annual basis with family. This will keep not only our cost down but also for the parents of all his friends who will have tons of presents to buy every year if every kid gets a party every year.
>I forgot to add in my last comment (Aimee) that I also know some parents that are not doing parties for their kids while they are toddlers in order to SAVE up for the “big” parties when in school.I know times have changed in school systems too (as I was a former teacher before becoming a Master Mom to my HARD–temper tantrum–boss Rylan (my 21 month old son). If you let your child invite playmates in the class you are “supposed” to extend the invite to the ENTIRE class! That is a LOT of people!..and then that leads to other issues..1. peanut allergies2. kids your kid might not even get along with3. invitations to all of THEIR parties, and an abundance amount of gifts to by4. lack of sanity…you will lose your mine with all the “expected” rules to this birthday game!Here’s a hostess cupcake kid with a candle! 🙂
>One person I know said she’ll do big birthday parties every 5 years, so basically at 5 and 10, and that’s it. I know it’s a great feeling to try and give one’s child the best, most fun experiences, but I feel it’s become more of a reflection on us than them. I’m in favor of a few friends, some cake, a craft or playing on the swings, and that’s it.
>It should get intresting where I live in Ca. A ton of the famlies we know were paying for the kid’s bday parties using their “equity lines of credit”. So a average party would include a jolly jump, ballon artist, a $200 cake, DJ-MC , semi-prof photo-video person, ballon arches & a big ticket gift , swing set or Wii. Though I guess w/ the housing market, it should change big time for most famlies I know. Kinda hoping it goes back to a few kids, a homemade cake, sleepovers, the park. This year we took our daughter to Disnetland for 3 days for her 4th bday. Grandma & Grandpa purchased annual passes as the “big gift:. It the gift that keeps giving!!
>Ok, I’m sayin’ it. I’m one of those moms. No, I don’t hire bands or spend thousands but I do like to make a big deal out of my twins parties.The first two we did at my house but then I decided the madness of cleaning before and after just added unneeded stress. So parties 3 & 4 were held away from home as will 5. The places usually range from $200-300 for rental(pony riding place, childrens museum, inflatable bouncy place) and then there is additional cost for food paperware etc. So it’s possible I’ve dropped $450+ on a party (which divided in half isn’t horrible). That said I do cut costs where I can ordering things from eBay and making invitations myself.I’ve never felt pressured or like I need to compete with others…I simply enjoy throwing parties and while cost is a definite concern I do splurge a little in the name of a birthday party
>One way to cut down on party expenses and excess giftage is to throw the party with another family and split the cost. When my daughter turned six we shared a tea party at Nordstrom for all the kids in the class. The cafe was wonderful — they took care of everything, we got great treats for about three dollars a person, and we held a book exchange so instead of having to buy party favors we sent each guest home with a book brought by another guest. The only work I had to do was send invitations, collect RSVPs, and select the menu.PS: You think birthday parties are bad? Take a look at Bar and Bat Mitzvahs
>I appreciate all of your low cost ideas, and I’ve thought of a lot of them because with four kids and family birthdays happening in March, April, May, June and July, the expenses seem to get out of hand no matter what.I’m just stressed because while everyone I know tends to talk about how they’re “no frills” parents, those same people are the ones sending out invites to some of the higher priced birthday party venues in town. Here’s my other dilemma. I:-didn’t want to have it outside (therefore backyards and parks were out)-didn’t have a lot of time to spend making things (so crafty, low cost birthday themes were out)-already exhausted all of my low cost options (costume party! Chuck E. Cheese!) on prior parties. In the end, I didn’t have a whole lot of options. Every children’s entertainer had a $150 minimum- at least. Every venue cost a minimum of $200 to reserve. It’s just INSANE that people can even charge this much for a child’s party- and they’re only doing it because so many parents will pay that amount!
>It’s called guilt parenting. “Oh, Bobby’s Mommy paid a monkey to ride a dolphin in the family pool for his party and also his Mommy makes homemade muffins every morning? Get me my yellow pages. We’ll get you a better party than Bobby. I may not make muffins, but I know monkeys.”I personally suffer from only minor and occasional guilt twinges. I have thus far been able to shake them and have never spent more than $60 on a birthday party. Hot dogs in the park is cheap, y’all.
>I have never hired an entertainer for one my kids’ birthday parties. I have not rented space, or yard-sized inflatables. I have never even done a Chuck E Cheese party; the place gives me the creeps.We usually have a home party. I make my own cake, we invite a few friends over, there are presents, a game or two, cake, goodie bags (discontinued at around age 11), and that’s it. As the boys get older, they can invite a friend or two for a special afternoon or evening, like bowling or the movies or whatever activity they choose. THE. END. Took the 3 year old to his friend’s party in February. There must have been 12 or so kids PLUS all the parents. Extra points to them because it was in their home. But it was so loud, and by the end, my son and I were looking at each other with crossed eyes and we just had to escape. Who’s the party for at that age – the parents or the kids?Don’t get caught up in the competition. You can make your kid feel special without throwing a gigantic, overwhelming party. Fight the urge!
>I’m right there with you. This year I didn’t have a major party for my daughter when she turned 5 – I took her and one (!) friend for a princess makeover and then we went to dinner (the princesses and the two moms). Well. I thought I was getting off cheap. Nope, I still ended up spending a lot of money. Oh well.But I agree. This elaborate party/presents thing is ridiculous. It wasn’t even this bad when my 14 year old was young.
>(just saw your comment)or…Hot dogs in Miss Amy’s fun and fabulous garage is cheap, y’all.
>If you want an indoor location other than your own house (and I’m in favor of that, particularly if you invite a large number of kids or you know some are especially rowdy)check with your local churches that have gyms or large fellowship halls. I’ll bet you can find a great location much cheaper than $200. And I still say that kids can have a great time without a lot of expensive and/or crafty activities. Give them something to eat they don’t get every day and then provide something fun to do. And I love the idea of a book exchange in lieu of party favors. Wish I had heard of that when my kids were young.
>This is a struggle that we are faced with as well. With a 9 and 6 year old who attend extravagant parties at least once monthly, we have to bring the kids back down to earth in regards to how much we are willing to dole out for their party. I think we as parents just have to know that it is impossible to get out for less than $200. As far as parties we have thrown: a pool party at a local rec center, a “diva” party with a mini-make-over and a walk down a runway and of course the obligatory Chuck E Cheese. This year my daughter is hankering for a 10 person slumber party. I might just give in, because it can be a pizza/popcorn party and might get me in under a hundred bucks!As far as parties we have attended: a party at Main Event, which had to have cost at least $500 for the rock climbing and pizza for 50 kids and several parties at the local amusement park.
>Nutty isn’t it?I wanted my 4 y/o’s party anywhere but at our small house. My neighbor had already scoped the scene and found one McDonald’s that does parties in our area. Happy meals, cake & ice cream, prizes, a hostess, climb & slide in a huge PlayPlace. $8/child. So we did this last month. Only had 6 kids. Not too bad! And they did the clean-up!BTW, happy birthday, Punky!!
>Honestly, I had no idea that bday parties were a competition. Seriously? This is news to me. I guess I’m lucky then, because parties for my kids are definately waaaaaay under the $200 budget mark. I buy decorations and cake and enlist the help of family members to bring food and snacks. Last year, I think I spent $100 for my kids party and that’s including gifts for both of them. (Their bday’s are only a week apart) Like I said, I’m lucky. Hopefully it stays this way, as I simply don’t have the desire to “compete” and I wouldn’t want to disappoint my kids, ya know.
>Kinda makes event planning look like a really lucrative career choice! 🙂
>I have to weigh in here because my daughters 9th birthday is this Sunday. Parties are definitely regional. We live in Florida now, and while there are some “keeping up with the Jones’s” (who are those people anyway. They are a major pain in the . . .) There are not as many parties, and most of them are smaller and less fuss. There have been a few blow outs, including one at Build a Bear.We moved from New York. Everyone was a Jones there. Every kid in the class had a party. EVERY. ONE. There was the clone of a build a bear, a bus that came to your house ($20 a kid, with 20 kids at a party). There were the inflatable-jumping places, gymnastics, and bowling, roller skating, on and on. To top them all, the end of school year/birthday party at the country club pool. YES. THE. COUNTRY. CLUB. FOR. FIRST. GRADERS. Fully catered. Most of the parties were in the $500-$1000 range. My guess for the country club would be $2000-$3000 for that party. When we were there we had a party for just girls, 20 total. I spent around $250 (including gifts from mom, dad and sister). A must was primo party bags, so a lot of money went there. It was at our house. We did decorate (princess all the way and tons of balloons from the dollar store), which was probably $50-60. Lunch was kid food heaven, hot dogs, chips, nuggets and Mac and Cheese (the “good” stuff, Stouffers), around $30, and a store bought cake $25. We played musical chairs (HUGE HIT) and danced, did crafts, piñata, etc. It was very old fashioned and THE party of that year. None of the kids had been to a “house” party. Every mom thought I was insane to have it at my house. It was a lot of work, but a ton of fun, and my daughter had bragging rights for best party (until we moved). Every kid asked when we were having another party.Now, she wants a sleepover, and Libby Lu. I am generally opposed to such things, but she is limited to her sister and two friends. I expect to spend around $150-200, without her gift. I think it is too much, but she struggles in school and has been on the honor roll, and I promised her a reward for her hard work. It will be worth every penny.Barbara
>I’ve opted out of this in a very creative way. I’m lucky that my two kids have summer birthdays. Here’s the thing – I give them a choice between a trip to do something they really want to do or a party. So my kids only have birthday parties with family but they know they are doing something special instead (Usually, a trip to an amusement park – this year it’s HolidayWorld. Love Holidayworld!). I tell them that it’s either/or but NOT both. If you choose a party, we won’t be able to afford to go to HolidayWorld, so what would you rather do? This year, I’m allowing my daughter to bring a friend to HolidayWorld.I just went to my neice’s party last month, which was inside with a big jumpy thing at her church. The party was nice, but the amount of stuff she got from the 30 kids that was there? OMG. She’s 5. And, when you get down to it, that’s one of the main reasons that I highly encourage my children to choose a trip over a birthday party. In a way, you get back them money you spent on entertainment with the presents a kid gets, but what sort of presents are they? Sometimes great, sometimes stuff-you-know-your-kid-will-never-play-with-but-insists-on-opening-anyway-thereby-ruining-any-chance-of-regifting. For my little consumers, at least, it’s the “stuff” that they love, not the experience so much (but then they didn’t have a cool party like Punky). The “stuff” gets scattered everywhere and drives me crazy. Another awesome thing about the birthday trip instead of party, the “trip” is part of their present, so we don’t buy them anything. Their grandparents buy them ridiculous amounts of stuff (especially for Christmas).I agree with you, though. People complain about it, but yet, when their kid’s birthday comes around, they shell out the money for the partay. I guess it just becomes an expectation. Good news, though. It crests at age 4-6, then kids start having sleepover parties instead. Generally, those are a lot cheaper since only a few kids are invited.
>I bake my own cakes. I took a cake decorating class (best investment I ever made!), bought some cake decorating supplies…learned how to make roses and great buttercream icing (people ask for my lefotvers!). I discovered the local party/wedding rental place rents cake pans…for about $5 a WEEK. I buy a box of cake mix or two and bake my own cake, decorate it, and my kids love it, because it is always based on their themes. I let them pick a theme and try as as I can to get things to go with it. But…I don’t go overboard. I’ll get napkins and cake plates, but then get colored plates to match the theme. I’ll get one large mylar in the theme, and at least one latex balloon each for the rest of the kids. I buy my balloons separately, then bring them to be inflated (much cheaper that way).We hold the parties here. No going out to wherever…it’s just not worth it. And I stick to the “one kid per year of age” method for guests invited BY MY CHILD. I will invite a few others (family friends, etc), but generally, I don’t go more than 8. For my daughter, who wanted all the kids in our circle (6) PLUS her 7 friends from school, I decided to have the neighborhood kids over for cupcakes. No games, no gifts. And gifts….well, we spend no more than $10 on a gift. There’s no need to go overboard. The gifts my kids love most are usually the cheapest ones.
>First I limit my kid’s guest list to a handful of kids, whatever age they are. So my daughter had 7 girls, and my son had 4 boys. When they get older, I will change that to an overnight for a couple of friends with a movie or other outing included. We pick a theme together. My daughter really gets into this and loves to plan a craft and games that go with it. I buy craft supplies from Oriental Trading, or the $1 bins at the craft store. We just do a couple of simple games– I find ideas online by googling the party theme. (cost $1-2/kid)Food is simple- for my daughter’s party the girls made their own mini pizzas (thanks for the recipe, chef mom!!) and sundaes for dessert. For my son we ordered pizza and had chips.(cost $15-20)As for the cake, we make it, but we make it special. Noah just had a rocket themed party last week, and I googled “rocket cakes” and came up with a whole bunch of ideas, and picked one to use. It was so cool -picture here http://theweeklyn.blogspot.com/2008/04/week-12.html(cost $5)Then we send the kids home with party favors that have to do with the theme, the cost is around $5/kid. Oriental Trading is good for that too. That is how I keep it relatively cheap. Of course, I then have to throw a separate “family” party (with about 30 people attending), where we do food and the cake part 2, but I have decided to consolidate all the kids’ family parties into one big one this summer and save on feeding all the relatives 3x a year.
>Hi Lindsay,just thought you might like to check out a post I wrote in October on this very issue; it might give you an idea of what we’re up against over here. And 6 months on, I’m still having nightmares about it (and about next October…)http://potty-diaries.blogspot.com/2007/10/freeeeeeeeedoooommmmmmm.html
>Oh yes, I forgot to ask, what did you end up doing for Bruiser’s party regarding CCK’s mom?And, a great, relatively inexpensive gift for a 5yo is a webkinz, or even better, lil’kinz. Kids love them, and can’t seem to get enough.
>There are two things I’ve noticed that bug the crap out of me — 1.) The better the place, the better the attendance. (The one child in my daughter’s preK class who had a party at home had only one guest. My kid.)2.) The kids with autumn birthdays have it made because all the parents of children with birthdays later on will go to every party during the fall to ensure that people will show up when it’s their kid’s turn. Only they don’t. Because now their child’s party is done with. So need to attend anything else.HATE THE BIRTHDAY PARTIES! Hate the stress, the competition, etc…
>OK. So, my Mom thinks I am awful about parties but Smith has NEVER asked for one. We did have one when he turned 4, but other than that I just send cupcakes to school. I always have a “family” party as well. I let him pick out the cups and plates and decide on the decoration for the cupcakes. People in Gainesville go overboard, too, but I just decided that I can’t be part of the race. I also don’t spend more than $10 on birthday presents for friends. As I read this I do sound like no fun….However, my philosophy is if he is okay with it, so am I.
>I am so relieved not to have to worry about birthday party competition. I know it goes on here in Virginia to some extent, but somehow my kids never get invited to the huge ones. Literally two minutes ago, I received the following party invitation for my five year old to go to a classmates party. This is what the email said (no fancy invitation):It’s my birthday, and I would liketo invite you to have an awesome time with me!☺Place: Our houseGet ready to play a lot outside.Please, bring your bike, scooter, or a toy you would like to share with me and my friends.If the weather is not nice to play outside, we will transfer the party to the following weekend. Parents, you are invited to stay and enjoy the party with your kid. We will have bagels and hot dogs.☺I always feel lucky that my girls birthdays are in the summer. From age 2-5, all we needed was a wading pool, sprinkler, and finger paints. Now that they are a little older, a karaoke machine, scavenger hunt, and obstacle course are the primary entertainment. The pizza and a slumber party will be next up.PS – Now webkins are another topic. Please don’t give my girls another webkin!!!! It’s hard enought to limit computer/ television time as it is.
>All of you have left such great comments and I want to respond to each of them personally, but there are too many of you. Just know that I’m reading each one and nodding my head and going, “Mmm hmmm…” But Cathy, you made two really good points that I want to mention in my column.-The better the place, the better the attendance- I’m sure that my worries are unfounded, but I’m afraid no one will come if I have a backyard party, only because we’re getting a couple of invitations a month at this point, all to fabulous venues, and I’m sure that parents pick and choose which parties they’ll actually take the kids to. I feel so sorry for the poor child who had a party where your daughter was the only guest! OMG! That’s like my nightmare. I’m sure that says something about me psychologically, but whatever.The other point- that autumn birthday kids get all the guests because parents want those kids at their parties? Sooo true. When I was looking at my guest list, I thought to myself that two of the guests would definitely come because their kids have parties coming up! Heh.
>My boy’s first 4 birthday parties were family only. When he turned 5, we invited his class to the house. I asked them all to wear swimsuits and bring dry clothes, and when they got there, I tossed them in my back yard, where I had a couple of kiddie pools, a sprinkler and a slip & slide set up. A cooler of juice boxes, a jug of ice water with a spout, and a table of snacks (mostly for the parents) and that was it. And a cake, of course. They had a ball. So much so that we did the same thing for his next two birthday parties. About a dozen kids showed up each year. The weather only turned bad once – rain didn’t bother them, they were already wet, but thunder bothered me! I just brought them in the house and got out all the pla-dough, crayons and craft sticks I could find. They still had a ball.The most I have spent was around 350 or so for a party at a Nashville Sounds ballgame. I went ahead and got the higher-end party, with food for everyone, ice cream and cake, a really cool souvenier, and my son got to throw the first pitch and walk back and forth on top of the dugout roof with the mascot while the entire stadium sang “Happy Birthday” to him. His was the only birthday party that night, so he truly was the star of the show. I’ll never spend that much on a party again, but the look on his face and the pictures I got that night were SO worth it. Now, he just wants to go bowling with two or three friends, then back to our house for cake. Thank God.
>I think I’d have to question whether I really wanted children to come to my child’s party if the deciding factor for them (or the parent, in the case of young children)was how elaborate the party would be. It’s never too early to begin teaching what true friendship really means.
>I love throwing parties…in particular children’s birthday parties. For me, the party isn’t about out doing the “Jones'” but out doing myself.The most I have ever spent on a child’s birthday is……drum roll please………$2,000.00This was 10 years ago, my oldest daughter’s 5th birthday. Tea party themed, 10 tiny girls, their mothers’ and a whole lot of fun.I planned and purchased for this party a year in advance, searched the state over for antique place settings, each one different than the other. I scoured consignment stores for old ball gowns, gloves, hats, and costume jewelryI rented a dining room from a local Inn….rented miniature tables and chairs…..and a chandelier.Each girl took home their place setting and dress-up costume.Was it a bit much, yes. A waste of money, absolutely.Would I do it again, in a heartbeat.
>Oh, and the parents who brought their kids to our backyard get-wet parties actually thanked me for doing something like that. We had some great conversations about how ridiculous kids parties had gotten, and how good it was to just see them out there having fun, without everything being scheduled to death!
>What timing! I just had my daughter’s bday party yesterday. It was for family only, about 20 people, just cake and refreshments. My daughter decided she wanted her party to be a suprise party …. um, but she already knew about it… so we had a faux surprise party which I wrote about on my blog. All in all, I spent $38 on the cake, $10 on ice cream, $20 on wine, my mom gave me 5 bottles of soda, and my daughter created her own game of pin the face on the butterfly at the last second and made every single last grown up play. There is NO WAY I was going to spend $300 on a swimming party at the waterpark, and I’d rather be dead than go to Chuck E. Cheese.Excellent idea with the Build-A-Bear at home.
>My daughter’s birthday is at the end of Jan. Usually it is enough time after Christmas that we’re up for the big shindig, but this year we had to make a mad dash to Ga b/c of a family medical crisis. Enter the cupcake decorating party.On a Friday, when none of her friends have preschool, we had her friends over for the festivities. I made a load of cupcakes, had all sorts of frosting colors, sprinkles and the like and set stools and chairs all around our table that was covered with a cheap plastic table cloth. The kids came they decorated, we made frozen pizza for lunch and capris-suns for drinks. It was easy-peasy. They best part? 6 of the 13 kids at the party told their parents that it was the BEST birthday party ever. Their take home was the extra cupcakes they decorated (I made 40, I don’t know why.) Also I was very clear that gifts were not going to be part of the party. I have a massive irritation at the amount of clutter having a birthday party produces.I think I spent a total of $45 on the party.
>Hi,It is truly a phenomenon, i.e. Over the Top Kids’ Parties. One good resource to check out is: Birthdays Without Pressure, a community action group that supports parents not going overboard. It is worth checking out. I own Peppers and Pollywogs, a web-based business All About Kids’ Parties. Check it out as there are lots of ideas that are budget-friendly and can take up however much time or money you want it to. Good Luck with your planning…I hope it turns out to be more fun and easier than you anticipate.Lisa
>With two kids having birthdays within two weeks of each other and just a stone’s throw after Christmas, I can NOT spend a lot of money, so we try to make up for it in creativity and work.For example, one year we did a superhero themed party. I sewed capes out of cheap cotton fabric from the Walmart remnant bin and we let each guest decorate a plastic mask from the discount card shop (about 79 cents apiece) with stickers and permanent markers. They all chose superhero names, made up superhero powers, and got their picture taken in front of a “Metropolis” type background to take home. We played “rescue the citizen” games with the kids’ stuffed animals. They ate it up! (You can see pictures here: http://notesonanapkin.wordpress.com/2006/02/13/saving-the-world-one-piece-of-cake-at-a-time/)Another time we had an Art themed party–we put butcher paper up on all the walls and let kids color on it. I did facepainting. We decorated outside with sidewalk chalk. For party favors, each guest got to use fabric paints to decorate a canvas apron to take home and use in future mess-making. I think the aprons were about two bucks apiece.It takes a little more planning, but we manage to keep costs low and the kids always have a great time.Great post!
>I’m with you, here. A goodly number of our daycare set are doing big to biggish parties, and they run between $300-$500. For four-year-old parties. And, as you point out, then the kid has more presents than they know what to do with. And are they going to remember this next year? Are you going to be expected to top it next year? I think it’s ridiculous, myself. Instead, we’re doing a small party at home. Last year, we invited three girls when she turned three. This year, her little circle has expanded, so we’re invited 6 kids. I’ve heard the general rule of age+1, to keep it sane and not overwhelming for the kid, as well, which I think makes sense. So we’re having 6 girls over to play for a while, we’ll do a craft with them, serve a casual lunch, eat cake, and they can head home for naps or quiet time. Simple, manageable, and, I think, age-appropriate. Save the big parties for a landmark year that she’ll remember.
>Scuse me but I have to call bullshit here. You all sound like all the moms at my child’s elementary school saying you have cheap parties and simple lives but my guess is that plenty of you have shelled out the bucks for your kid’s parties.I love how you all act like you’ve never heard of expensive kids parties!
>I don’t think it is possible. We spent just under $300 on The Boy’s 5th birthday party, and this year we were trying to stay within a certain budget and I tracked expenses. I’d hate to see what we spent when I didn’t try to keep track.
>I love planning bday parties but they usually need to be on a smaller budget so my craftiness comes out (but I like that part too.) Sometimes the price is a toss up. You pay more for parties that are all planned/done for you but it does save lots of hassles and lots of time.I start planning 3-4 months in advance. Last year ds had an Army Man party. I built an obstacle course in the backyard and built a bunker out of cardboard. Then we had waterballoons and squirt gun wars (so pc I know.)My problem is going to be girl parties. How many princess parties can you have? This year my daughter turned 3 and what kind of party did she want…Diego! So maybe I dont need to worry about girlie parties just yet.We’re just starting the school birthdays (He’s in K)and so we might start encountering more of the party competition. So we’ll probably have a talk like this:*Yes, that was really fun and we’re glad that we got to go and share that time with his friend*No, we cannot have one just like it. Somethings are just too expensive and we are not going to spend our money that way. We will plan something super fun and special but different. *Try not to be jealous of what others have but be grateful for what you do have..because its more than a lot of other kids have. The last part is something we’ve been really trying to work on. Just being grateful for how lucky we are and not being greedy. Not always an easy lesson to teach these days.
>I know what you mean about the princess parties! My daughter definitely loves the Disney princesses too, but she asked for either a horse party or a Shrek party. Woo hoo! We went with horses because it was just easier. Shrek is sort of on his way out…
>My daughter’s b-day is in the summer so our parties are simple. We bbq in the backyard and set up our inflatable waterslide and bouncy. I have no idea what I spend, because I don’t keep track, but I would say I don’t go over $150. I would be surprised if I come close to that. I stopped giving party favors, unless I can find something really good. I find that the kids are generally happy with the fun and cake they get at the party. My limit for gifts for daughter’s friends is $20. I have gone as far as getting $5 Barbie. Usually I let daughter pick it out and that is what she chooses. Everyone seemed gracious when they recieved it.I have gone to parties with pony rides, petting farms, huge bouncies, huge waterslides, train rides, or the one around Christmas that had snow (we live in New Orleans), Santa and a live reindeer. I never felt the need to keep up with them. Call me lazy, but I am just not willing to put in that kind of time or money. I am throwing the party for my kids, not the Joneses. And our rule of thumb has been one gift at b-day. I mean they have Christmas to get all that loot.My friends are having a crawfish boil for their soon to be one year old, because they have realized that she really doesn’t care and it would be fun.
>There’s a lot of talk about keeping up with the Joneses, but I’m guessing a lot of people are like me, and don’t care about “keeping up,” they just want people to want to come… I really need to get a grip.
>We’ve had and been invited to a good mix of parties. I’ve generally told them that they can each have a big party at ages 5 & 10 – invite your whole class plus any other good friends somewhere (anywhere) other than here. I really don’t like being responsible for entertaining a bunch of kids. I love mine, but am not a people person…especially when they are snotty ankle biters :)!When he was 5, it was at “My Gym” to the tune of $400 by the time all was said and done. For her’s an upity-bakery party that was probably about the same.Other than that, we’ve done:CEC (his 3rd) without an official party reservation – just 2 friends and a homemade cake, princess/ballet at home with 2 friends (her 3rd), Build a bear with 6 friends, including brother for one of hers, 6 boys to the movies (again, unoffical party…split two tubs of popcorn, snuck in juice boxes, cake was ice cream at the scoop shop next door to the theater)With the exception of the first birthday, all others have been family only or one friend for dinner & cake. I did have a big grown up party at home when each turned one. Homemade cake, catered by a restaurant. Less of a birthday party than a “yea! we made it through the year of no sleep!”
>Oh, about gifts…A popular choice in some circles here has been to ask guests to donate to a specific charity (cash or goods, depending on selected charity). That really sucks because the kids still want to buy something for their friend. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I hate all the gifts, and (on years that they have more than one or two guests) just quietly tuck aside all but one or two that they really love to give to Toys for Tots or another charity.When it comes to giving, my soft limit is $15 and cards are homemade. Still, I usually end up spending about $20 with gift wrap and the little extra something the kids beg to put in. I always include a gift receipt.
>Yeah, I think it’s kind of cruel to the kid to have all his/her gifts donated to charity. A 3 or 4-year-old just doesn’t get the charity concept that well, especially when all the other kids are getting presents at their birthday parties. It smacks of Mommie Dearest to me. 😀
>Well, Anonymous, I can’t speak for anyone else and perhaps it’s a regional thing but most kids in our area do not have $1000 birthday parties. And even if they did, I wouldn’t. It’s not that we couldn’t afford it but I find it to be an unwise use of money (for us, anyway). I’d personally feel terribly guilty spending that much money knowing there are children going to bed hungry in our small town.And honestly, our simple approach to parties was never a problem. We always had nearly 100% of the kids we invited show up. This is the sort of place where everyone knows everyone. Even kids form friendships at a young age and retain those friendships into adulthood. True friends want to go to the parties of their friends just because it’s fun to get together. In some ways I think we are fortunate to not even have options like Chuck E. Cheese or amusement parks here. The vast majority of people here (yes, even the doctors and oil tycoons) host their kids’ parties at home or in the park. Country club members sometimes have kids’ parties at the pool in the summer. We did that one time ourselves but the only charge was a dollar per child who wasn’t a member. We took the kids swimming then back to our house for hot dogs and cake. To each his own but it really is possible to keep it simple.
>This birthday party thing drives me crazy. I didn’t see this mentioned but whatever happened to the general rule that you should invite the number of children that they age of the birthday child is turning? 3 y.o. 3 friends. It might be old school but it makes sense to me. Less craziness, less responsibility, less cost. And only the really close friends come and they don’t care what you do anyway (at least the preschoolers).I also like setting the expectations that birthday parties don’t happen every year. That way you can afford to spend a little more when you do have them.Other suggestions. Bowling alley parties. Cheap, kids have fun. If the kids are small enlist other parents, the kids have trouble staying focused on the game and they like to run. My girlfriend had a treasure hunt party (with maps, clues, teams) for her daughter and about 8 friends (2nd graders) she said that was a huge success and she did it at her house.
>I don’t have kids, but, I was invited to my friend’s kiddo’s birthday (when kiddo was younger). The party was several neighborhood kids, their parents, pizza and lots of baloons. The kids had a great time playing with the baloons, parents/adults chatted, pizza and cake were enjoyed by all:) My friend MIGHT have spent $40-50 dollars for everything (and the pizza was the expensive part).My pet peeve (as a teacher) is classroom parties. I can totally dig cupcakes in the afternoon. However, the parents who send in a sheet cake (hello, kids, no knives in the room) and don’t stick around to help cut/pass out, goody bags, etc. I hate that some parents use school as a substitute for a party (especially when they drop everything off in the am and don’t come back to help).I am glad that my school has a no party policy, they pass out birthday pencils to the kids, say the kid’s name over the announcements, and that is about it.Some teachers choose to do a monthly party for all the kids who have a birthday that month (maybe a cookie, or a juice box), but that is a personal choice.
>I had a December birthday. 2 days after Christmas. It stunk…so, my mom got creative! I had my friend from across the street, a few family friends, and my mom set up decorate your own cookies, pizzas (using english muffins), party games, etc. It was great and low-key. One year, she threw me a 1/2 birthday so I could have more friends over and do outdoor games.
>my little girl’s birthday is in november. i work at her school so we have loads of kids to invite. she received 45 presents this year. we have a rule. all duplicate presents go to “toys for tots” (tis the season when tis her birthday). then she can pick one present at a time (every few days) to open & keep. last week (APRIL!) she said, “mommy, you know that closet where you hid my birthday presents? can we open one today?” and we did. She is 4. Yikes!
>I think throwing outrageously expensive and elaborate parties for children is ridiculous. And we wonder why there is such an “entitlement” attitude in our society? I am a single mom, and it’s so hard for me to have to say, “I’m sorry, I can’t afford to throw you a party.” to my daughter when her friends have theme parties EVERY year. When I was growing up, I had ONE party…when I turned 13. Now it’s expected every year.I’m frustrated with the whole thing.
>I used to nanny, and when their daughter turned one, I was around to see the elaborate planning… as well as attend the party, which the mom confessed to me in a quiet moment had cost her (you might want to sit down) over ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!! So, what does a thousand smackeroos get you in the big city? An inflatable bounce house, a coloring table, color coordinated decorations, and personalized thank you notes. To eat? Hot dogs, and gold fish. Oh, and one (admittedly awesome tasting) plain heart shaped pink cake that feeds 50. Or rather, the 27 guests that showed, and the nanny for like a week….How on earth am I supposed to top THAT when my 7-month old turns one? I was thinking with a good old fashioned bbq, just for the family. 🙂
>I have never paid more then $100, if that, for a birthday party. Ever. Some I’ve even done it for less then $50!Really I think that all kids want is a day where they are celebrated, and that doesn’t mean that I need to make it all about ME, right? We’ve had some home parties, rented out the local pool, gone skating, to the movies, and bowling. I watch for opportunities (ie-his day happened to fall at the same time the local pool had a free holiday swim celebration, or collected free movie pass coupons from cereal boxes) and I also bought goodie bag items from clearance sales.My son always had a fantastic time, so did his friends, and their parents thought it was great.Probably the most I’ll have ever spent will be this next one when he turns 13. I’d love to take him and a friend skiing for a day over in the city, and that will be about $200.Fun parties can be done for cheap. Hey Lindsay, I have the tips over on my blog, actually.http://holidaycookspot.com/seienotes.blogarch/label/kids%20parties
>Personally, I’d spend the $$ rather than have to clean up after several kids and a party!The best one we ever had was at a local small airport. My oldest was way into planes at the time. (Of course, this was pre Sept. 11 and we were allowed to do this. Now, not so much.) We rented a room they had charts, etc. in for $50, hubby and I worked for ages making 2 fighter jet cakes, bought some jet planes to give as favors, and ordered a few pizzas. I think I spent maybe $80. It was great! Some old pilot guys came over and walked the kids out on the runway and let them sit in some small planes. Other than that, I usually do pool parties/bowling, etc. $200 for a party sounds fine to me, seeing as how they are entertained and I don’t have to clean up. We didn’t do a party for my twins last year, as it falls in the middle of crazy baseball season. They still remind me about that, though!
>I like the idea of number of guest= age of child for a birthday party. Of course, I have had only one ehm “party” and it was for my one year old son. He did have one guest. The little girl next door is also one and she was his guest. Next year, we might invite the little boy across the street. I had the idea to make a blue cake with blue icing. Unfortunately, I added blue food coloring to a yellow cake mix, so in all of his pictures my son is stuffing alien green cake in his mouth. The adult guests shoved it around on their plates with their forks until they could throw it away discreetly. Really, I think as long as it’s fun for your kid it’s fine. I mean I don’t remember a single birthday party from when I was a kid except for this one where we played this game that involved chewing frozen bubblegum and blowing a bubble….But I digress, I think as long as there is sugar, toys, and screeching, you’ll be fine.
>Yeah. Wait till your son starts preschool or kindergarten. The game changes, my friend.I did laugh a LOT at the parents who had a big blowout for their one or two year old. At that age, they literally don’t remember or care. Three is when I really started noticing a change- Some parents seem to think that’s “a big one.” This year, my daughter was old enough to take interest in her party for the first time. And I was too tired/uncreative to be all Martha Stewarty.
>We’re going to rent a hot air balloon, paint it pink, and hang tentacles from it so it looks like a great big huge ostentatious “look-at-how-many-dollars-I-love-my-kid” offering to the god of 1st Birthday Parties.And everyone who comes to the party is going to get a live jellyfish in their gift bag.Well. If they get there early enough they will be live.
>I always end up spending waaay more than I plan to. I was going to have a simple pirate party this year for my son’s 7th birthday. I ended up with nowhere to have this fabulously thought up party, so I opted for something else. Since I live in a small town, I had to have it in the nearest fairly large town (45 mins away). I also don’t want to be the poor single mom that everyone feels sorry for, so I always go overboard. I ended up spending over $350 and we had 25 kids. Gah. That’s most of my rent payment. How sad is that? *sigh* As for how to get away from this competition between parents I have no clue. It’ll just get worse with each birthday, I fear.
>I guess I should add that I don’t normally spend such a large amount on birthday parties. I really felt horrible spending as much as I did. I was reading through some of the comments and thought maybe I should clarify that. Normally, I have a really huge but well thought-out party and just spend money on food, party favors, etc. This year I just ended up with nowhere to have it b/c I didn’t rent the space early enough. I think the most I have spent in the past has been less than $100 or so for everything. I make a lot of the stuff and that saves a ton of money.
>The smartest parents I know give their 2 children this option, every year around their birthdays: “We can either have parties for you kids, or we can spend the money that we would’ve spent on the parties for your presents. What is your choice?”End of party problem. The children have picked new bikes, a WII (combining their gifts) or other things. I think they started when the youngest was 7.
>This post struck a chord with me. I’ve had expensive children’s parties (pool parties with a Hawaiian theme, grass skirts, etc.) and el cheapos at home. We always had small family parties until the kids were in kindergarten, OR we had them at McDonalds, Chic-Fil-A, or other kiddy fast-food joint with an indoor playground. The kids enjoyed them all.One problem emerged we got sucked into the school system’s idea of fairness, which is to invite everyone or no one in the class. Hello — who can afford that? I wanted to get my daughter to hand the invitations out quietly after class, but it wasn’t allowed. One year we ended up inviting her whole class (28 kids), her soccer team (12 kids), her Girl Scout troop (9 kids), and a handful of other children she wanted to ask (about 6). Thank God only about 20 could come (it was near Halloween and we had conflicts with other seasonal parties). Hint: If you want to keep it manageable, get your children’s friends’ addresses early in the school year so you can mail invites directly to their closest friends only. (Our school even has a policy against kids exchanging addresses and phone numbers, but that’s stupid and we just sneak around it.)Biggest pet peeve: Parents who don’t respond to the invites so you can get an accurate idea how many goody bags to put together. We almost *always* have leftovers.Second biggest pet peeve: Parents who bring in a younger sibling with them when they’re picking up their party-goer, then stand by me chatting forever while I’m handing out the goody bags to the children leaving; the poor tag-alongs look longingly at the goody bags. (Fortunately, I almost always have extras I can give them.)Hope you don’t mind a long list of ideas; my girls are 10 and 17, so we’ve been through plenty of parties. Some ideas from parties we’ve had or they’ve been invited to:- Kiddos ages 3-4 in daycare: Take cupcakes, a well-stuffed pinata, and a plastic bag to the daycare. And stand back. (Of course, we always brought extra adults to help set up, supervise, and clean up.)- early elementary age party: Hire a magician and/or balloon artist to entertain the kids as the “big event” for the home party. It’s a short show, and the birthday kid gets a special fuss made over him/her. Mine was very reasonably priced; I think it was about $50?- Older kids (we’re doing this soon — haven’t done it yet): Take a LIMITED number to a clay studio (one of those places that lets you come in, paint something like a mug or bowl, and they’ll fire it up for you while you’re enjoying the food or other activities in a nearby restaurant). The kids’ goody bags will be what they made, plus a handful of candy.- Skating party with glow-in-the-dark necklaces handed out at the party. Best hosted at a skating rink that also has a playground area and game room. Kids get tokens to play in the game room plus snacks and skate rentals.- Movie party that starts in the theater’s game room, goes to the snack bar and then the movie, and then ends up at a nearby restaurant for ice cream. If you make it a matinee, it won’t break you.- Rent an inflatable for your yard rather than pay a fortune for an hour or two at a party center.- If it’s summer, have a slip-and-slide and sprinkler party in the back yard. If you have a water-balloon fight (great fun), expect waaay more time cleaning up the balloon pieces than the actual fight!- Tea party with makeup, dresses to dress up in, and croquet in the yard. (Uh, this probably won’t work if you have sons.)- Sleepovers with lots of old-fashioned outdoor games planned, board games available in case of bad weather, and ending the evening with a snack and movie. Goody bags should include cans of silly string. Move all breakables out of the den first.- If it’s near Halloween like one of my daughter’s birthdays, have a spooky party with costumes and other Halloween festivities. Stick the wart on the witch (a wad of gum on a drawing of a witch) instead of pin-the-tail on the donkey; closest wart to the tip of her nose wins. Roll each other in toilet paper to make mummies and take photos. Get creative with silly/gross food. Kids LOVED it.- I’m a Girl Scout troop leader, and I’ve also gotten lots of craft ideas from Girl Scout web sites and books for use at my girls’ parties.- Your basic classic birthday party with cake and ice cream, musical chairs, a pinata because the kid asked for it, and a few other games.- Find some local tourist attraction you can take a limited number of kids to for the day (or overnight), such as a children’s museum, and eat dessert at a restaurant afterward. – One mom I know arranged a puppy-themed party for her kids and got someone with trained dogs to perform for the party.This was a great post — I enjoyed reading every comment too!
>*cough* *choke* *gasp* *Splutter*$200? FOr a birthday party?I feel like I live on a different planet.Around here it’s take a cake to the park, and hand out party bags after and drinks. Even counting adults that’s less than $50 for what I think of as an expensive party.We keep it small. Often it’s only family. (My MIL’s idea with 8 kids. Birthdays are a family affair with one activity chosen by the birthday person.) 13 and 18 are huge extravaganzas with tons of friends but the rest aren’t. Taking gifts to friends birthdays is really enough to get invited, you don’t need to reciprocate by throwing a party for yours.FOr the Girl’s last party we invited friends with $1 invitations from Big Lots. I bought them months in advance because they were pretty Butterfly flip things and I knew she’d be thrilled.We had a teddy bear tea party.I scouted thrift stores for cheap tea cups that were pretty. $10 I also got thrift store fabric for table cloths. $2We made tiny sandwiches cut out with cookie cutters. We made cut out finger jello, which you can make way ahead. I made mini cupcakes and we bought mini Trader Joe’s crackers, and we had a tea party.I got beads and necklace laces from Big Lots $8 for 4 kits. We laid it all out and the girls made necklaces for an activity that they took home as favors as well. Total cost before food- $21The girls loved it.You can see pictures hereI guess I have an adjusted idea of time and effort. But I”ve never figured out why people pay for decorated cakes. Even if you can’t bake, cake mixes cost a dollar and taste about the same as store bought in my opinion. YOu can put on pre made icing and get a $5 mini toy tube from Micheal’s to put all over the top. I did it with horses for the Girl’s 3 year old party. Why spend $30 on a cake?And why not shop sales and discounts for favors through out the year? And why not make something instead of buying it? It’s more fun. MY mom did this stuff all my life and my friends with more money always liked my parties best.We made our own pizzas, made crafts, and played games. IT took a bit of work, but not and exhausting level.I think the only way parties could get so expensive is if mothers are competing with each other. In which case, we’ve forgotten about the kids, and what are we teaching them any ways?ps. I love the Build-a-Bear idea. That sounds fun, and like it could be worth the expense.
>Lindsey,I doubt I will be in 2 columns in a row.Truth be told $200 just doesn’t go as far as it used to. Food, disposables and invites (even nonprinted ones) can hit that total pretty quickly. We like to throw parties, and we have a little bit of disposable income to throw at the situation, so we are fortunate.Last year for our daughter we got a bouncy thing, we got pizza, hoagies, chips, drinks, cake and icecream, and a magician (don’t recommend the magician). It also doubled as a Halloween party. We ended up inviting her preschool class, half of the other age appropriate class. Several friends from outside preschool. The guest list was pretty large as both parents tended to show up. We probably dropped $1000 on the party. The two mistakes I made were 1, the magician who wasn’t very good, and 2, I ordered twice as much pizza as was necessary. Those two factors would have knocked it down to about $750. Truth is, we like to throw parties and it was as much for the parents as it was for the kids.—The worst thing I saw at a pricey Birthday party was a Build-a-bear party. My 5yo tried to keep it under the limit. When she had to have a 2nd outfit for her bear, my wife cheerfully sprung for it rather than the host. There was one child there who had to have Rudolph, and when she found out she was priced out of accessories. She had a hissy fit and got a Clarice doll out of the host as well. I would have told the brat she’s getting lumpy the stuffed coal if she were my kid.The most decadent birthday party…can’t think of one that was that over the top. —We have a friend, a single mom, who throws the best parties for the least amount of money. She “rented” a classroom at her church, we did arts and crafts, she made the castle cupcake cake then the kids played outside on the church playground. My daughter still has the jewelry box she made 2 years ago. She might have come in under 200 bucks. It was the best party IMHO because she put the most thought into it and it was really good.
>P.S. – If you feel like you are hemmed in by seasonal birthdays, have a party for a half birthday.Our daughter gets a half cake on her half birthday, and maybe a little gift. (I wanted to give her a half of a barbie doll (the left half) but mom objected and she got the whole doll). But seriously, if you are mired in winter and want to have the party in the summer. Just have a half birthday and put the disclamer in the invite and do it up.—Regarding country club birthdays (been to a few growing up). I seriously think it’s a cheaper option for the parents who are already members than other options. And who doesn’t love a pool party.—I think one of the reasons that parties are hard to do for under $200 dollars is that for many of us, who aren’t SAHM(D)s we don’t have time to go hunting for the best deals. Also some of us are away from family who would have to fly in. So friends are who we invite.
>What a great post! The funny thing is, kids, in general, just like to play! It’s the parents that get all nuts about keeping up. Sad sad sad. I think they’d be happy with some hot dogs or pizza and a big sandbox with sand toys or a sprinkler… and that’s all!
>Wow…whatever happened to simple gatherings in peoples homes with pin the tail on the donkey or some other silly party game? A cake, streamers and balloons were run of the mill for our parties. As I got a little older it turned into sleepovers but that was it. Guess I’ll be facing this in a couple years. In the meantime my daughter will have a simple family get together for her 1st birthday this summer.
>I haven’t read other’s takes on this, but I will throw out my opinions as well.Parties are out of control around here too- I just threw my 4yo party in February and had a tea party. The whole thing probably cost 100 dollars tops. I ordered fancy-pants snack cakes and sandwiches (the most expensive part) and had real tea that I brewed. I got mismatched china from a thrift store and the and I quickly washed them and sent it home after they used it for tea. Yes, that was the take home gift- and it was loved by all expect for that one dad who didn’t quite get it).For older kids (8 or so) I have had friends who offer $100 cash or a party. The kids seem to take the cash I guess, which gets you off cheap!Another ot
>The whole “half” birthday thing makes me sick! Seriously?! I have put my foot down on that whole problem- I just don’t let my kids attend one. Talk about raising greedy, self absorbed children!
>Funny you should ask? My son just had his second birthday and this week on my blog I’m writing a series about all the details and “blog-worthy” events. I’m one of those that is absolutely disgusted by the “bigger is better” birthday philosophy, but do I listen to myself. Nope! I went big yet again this year and my son is only 2!!! We did a party for my son’s friend at Gymboree which cost about $200. (It would have cost more if we weren’t members) They did a great job and the kids LOVED it. Best part? No cake on MY walls and floor to clean up :-)Later that night, we did a whole family dinner with my parents, sisters (their boyfriends), two other families we’re really close to, and my son’s godparents. There were way to many gifts, of course. I don’t regret spending the time, money, and effort. The look of pure childhood joy on my son’s face the whole day was worth every penny.
>I have a 2,9, and 12 year old…I gave up on birthday parties LONG ago (although, I still live with the guilt!!) We have a family dinner at the birthday child’s choice of restaurants and cake/presents at home… although, last year, they talked me into having “just a couple of friends” for a bowling “get together”. I said NO presents.Crazy… I can get my kids an ipod or other new techno-gadget- something-or-other for the price of the latest bowling/laser tag craze in our area.Bottome line: IF I did a party… they’d have to pick between a party OR presents (the party would be their present) *sigh*
>Wait until you get to kindergarten. Miss C has been invited to two princess/diva makeover type parties. They ain’t cheap! However, I may succumb to the pressure as it’s just dawned on me that the invite list will automatically be cut in half since no boys will be attending.Like you, I’ve always tried to keep parties simple. We have done the two local pizza joints and I had a coupon last summer for the mall locale (RIP).Honestly I remember “one” nice pool party at our house for my 6th birthday party. Then we moved to the boonies.$200 does seem to be the average going rate around here. We did attend a skate center party recently and I think it was one of the more reasonably priced affairs.You can always do the “in lieu of presents” bring a donation for some sort of charity type thing and then let the grandparents/aunts and uncles go wild with the presents!
>I hope I didn’t sound too “cold” with our no b-day party option :)I will add to my post that we do have several dinner party/BBQs for the kids thoughout the year… for special events: football playoffs, Chinese New Year (my daughter is Chinese), end of school year, etc… I guess this way we can control the guest list, and cost… and NO GOODIE BAGS– LOL(and seriously, we are very blessed, my kids don’t need presents from their friends… just good times with their buddies)so far, it works for us :)althoughm, our youngest is a girl, so… hopefully I can stand my ground.
>No, the only thing that sounds cold so far, is the anonymous who doesn’t let his/her kid go to extravagant birthday parties. I hope you’re kidding, anon. Because… wha? You don’t have a daughter named Carrie, do you? Who looks just like Sissy Spacek? Um, anyway.It’s funny that several of the people agreeing with me live (or used to live) within five minutes of me. It may be my area. The nouveau riche and the wanna be nouveau riche. And yet I have a feeling the problem is even worse about 15 minutes away from my neighborhood.Nashville is EXTREMELY kid friendly. There are a zillion things around here that are just for kids- and I think that makes it more difficult, too. The fantasy options are endless. And expensive.
>Not saying you commenters are the nouveau riche. But I think you’d agree that’s totally the mindset of our area.
>I LOVE throwing my kids a fun party, but I like to have “home made” style parties. Im not that impressed when people hire someone to come and entertain the kids…not that I havent done that when my daughter wanted Belle to come…but typically I do them on a smaller scale…and Im learning to do it even smaller each year.SOME STICKING POINTS FOR ME:HOMEMADE CAKES: I like to make a fun,themed cake…it doesnt look store bought, but usually tastes better. Cupcakes are hot now, and there are so many fun ideas you can find online.PARTY FAVORS: my kids dont need any more candy, plastic hand clappers or lips, compasses, etc. NO JUNK PLEASE. Im not saying every parent loved our favors, but I try to make them “keepers”..such as when we decorated princess frames with rhinestones (approx. cost $2 per frame), or each girl got to decorate a pair of dress up shoes (approx cost, $3 per pair of shoes…which many girls kept for a couple of years and loved.) For my son’s spy party, they got some things they used on the treasure hunt: magnifying glass, flashlight, pad and pen (spy supplies: $3.50) GIFTS: I dont usually tell people (maybe I should) but my son donates most of his gifts to the cancer floor or our children’s hospital. I let him pick one or two things, or keep the things I know he really wanted, but the rest are bagged up and delivered to the oncology unit. Many of our friends openly do the donation thing…one kid asks people to donate a gift on the World Vision website (totally cool, there are items in every price range, from seeds for planting to blankets and farm animals.) We just got invited to a party where the boy has asked for a type of gift card (I forget the name) that he gets to use to shop for others who are in need.Im all for celebrating every year…as someone who thought she might never see her son turn 3 (or 4 or 5 or 6 or 7)…I think each year is a gift, a real blessing. Parties dont have to cost a bunch, and they can have a lot of meaning.My next party idea….A Webkinz party, where we have gem hunting, a Wheel of Wow, and other fun games…kids earn tickets and will be able to redeem them for some fun goodies. Every child must bring a Webkinz pet to attend the party, and all will be donated to the kids hospitalized with cancer. I cant wait!
>I know you said you’re not terribly Martha Stewart-y, but her website has some ideas for clever birthday parties (including a carnival one that sounded adorable).
>FRIENDS?I invite every kid from his class (he only has 16), as well as any sports team he is on, and then friends from the neighborhood or others he wants to invite.I believe the more the merrier, and i dont want anyone to feel excluded.If people dont feel close to him or whatever, they wont show up….but at least nobody felt left out.
>Im not that impressed…Since when is celebrating your child’s birth about “impressing”?Lindsey, I couldn’t agree with you more…there are so many nouveau riche and wanna be’s in this area, and I really think that’s why it’s gotten out of hand.This mentality is going to come back to bite us when in the future we have teenagers and young adults who have no concept of what it’s like to have to want for something without immediate gratification.
>All I can say is, thank God I live in the ghetto. No pressure to have a fancy party at all.
>I think these huge parties are ridiculous…especially for pre-schoolers! HOWEVER, this year we are going a leetle bit overboard with my son who will be turning 8. He is super interested in knights and castles and all things medieval, so we are taking him to Chicago to go to Medieval Times with both sets of grandparents. We didn’t invite any other kids to go. Way too expensive! It was 700 bucks for tickets for 11 people. CRAZY! But, we are making the grandparents buy their own tickets…they’ve got more money than us. 🙂 Also, we had just planned on it being our family of four when my in-laws invited themselves, so we included everyone as long as they were willing to pay.
>My friends and I use a rule of thumb that says that you should invite as many kids as your child’s age, plus one. So if the child is turning 4, invite 5 friends. Have a little cake and some artsy activity — decorating pumpkins or birthday crowns or something, and then turn them loose to run around the yard. Anything more is silly.
>My daughter will be 6 in November, and the past couple of parties have cost, roughly, $350-$450 each – we had a pony at my parents’ house for her fourth party (bigger yard for Mr. Pony to give rides), and her fifth was at a “paint your own ceramics” place. We had about 12-15 kids at each party. This year, my daughter asked me, “Can we just have the party at our HO– USE this year?” From the mouths of babes…..
>I think it is always worth any amount to not have a party at your house. The stress of cleaning before and after, and the cost of it, just isn’t worth it for me. I let my daughter (now 6) have as many friends over as the age that she is turning. I also give her the option of a kick ass present with the money I would have spent on the party, or the party as her gift. She has always chosen the party, and she gets small gift from us.
>Lindsay,What an awesome post! Shortly after we moved into our current subdivision a neighbor two doors down had a birthday party for her toddler that was nothing short of the birthday party depicted in the movie ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’. There were ponies in the yard and other animals along with the blow up jumpy contraption with several clowns….and the music…..sweet Lord, it was a downright carnival. I looked at my husband and all I could say was that we moved into the wrong subdivision. I am not even going to try and touch that.I have only had parties at home for both of my girls birthdays, but I’ve only just begun. My eldest will be four on the 4th of July and my youngest will be two on the 11th of July. The problem I have run into over the past three years, is that my daughters birthday falls on a major summer holiday and nearly everyone has plans. I usually have a party at the house and since we have an in ground pool I use that as the entertainment. I have noticed that my girls don’t get invited to the other expensive parties for the other girls in our subdivision. I have come to realize that those same girls do come to our parties but for a very strange reason. I’ve learned that the mommies of those girls want to come to see what I’ve done in the house or the back yard since they’ve been here last. I dread even thinking about the party for my girls this year. Since their birthdays are only a week apart I plan on holding one party for both till they are old enough start demanding separate parties. As for suggestions, I’m sorry to say I don’t really have much. What I did do that impressed the snobby mommies last year was I had a professional photographer come to my home and take pictures of not only my girls but of all my guests in a journalistic style. I was very lucky because a dear friend of mine is a professional photographer and all I had to pay for was the prints I chose later. It was a big hit and I have some wonderful photos to document my eldest daughters third and youngest daughters first birthday.I’ll be very interested to read your article regarding this issue!
>My son just turned 3 and wanted a Pizza Party. We follow the rule of one friend per age plus relatives. Luckily, he has three really good friends (mainly because we hang out with their parents). Also, I avoid asking anyone from his preschool class. If anyone asks, I just say we are having it at home and must keep is small due to space. He has a party at school for those folks. Anyway, I used birthdayinabox.com for the supplies and made his cake. They have really cool ideas at coolest-birthday-cakes.com. (A great idea also is http://www.dreamcakesetc.com, the cake is wonderful and she will deliver to your door-free here, $10 to Nashville. She even does organic cakes and special diet stuff.) We bought Pizza from Tomato Tomato (in Murfreesboro and a must have if in town). I had the kids come in and decorate their own apron (cheap from Hobby Lobby and take home gift), then they ate pizza, cake, he opened presents and they played at our house for a while. Everyone had a great time. I don’t really worry about his friends coming to his party, all that matters is that he has fun. Plus, if they are really your child’s friend, they would want to come what ever the party, right?As for gifts, I like to do books for the kids. Usually attached to the theme if there is one, or something you know the child is interested. For example, one girl we bought Cat In The Hat Returns and another Dr. Seuss book because she is into that. We are going to a party at a local park in a few weeks with a Curious George Theme. (The kids are to “monkey around”) Even though the invitation says no gifts, I’m planning on bringing Curious George Books. I tape the target receipt to the back of one of the books in case they already have that one, then they can return for what ever.
>I have done the expensive big party at the popular location, and the cheap little party. But the one’s my kids like the best are the one’s in between where my children have helped plan the party.–like the swimming party at my son’s school (you can rent the pool at the high school for two hours for $75 and you get TWO life guards–kids from the HS swim team. With a cake and water guns as party favors we came in well under $200 for all the boys in his class.)–Or the non-sleepover sleepover party for my daughter (when she was four) where everyone wore PJ’s, we had a pillow fight with balloons, painted pillow cases as party favors, and were able to invite all of the girls from preschool (8 girls)–Or the sleepover party at home with 5 or 6 boys where you paint night shirts, watch movies, and have a flash light treasure hunt to find their party favors (Did this one at 5 and am doing it again for my son’s 9th birthday next week. Will probably nix the craft for the 9th.) I totally get your stress when it comes to this issue. The whole “keeping up with the jonses” mentality drives me insane. And as for presents–holy crap people like to spend money. My rule is $10-15 if I don’t know the kid (like it’s a school friend and they’ve invited the whole class) and that includes wrapping paper and $20 if it’s a really good friend.
>I’m not spamming, but the best party I ever threw my 11 year old came from http://www.simplifun.com. The girls LOVED it (they acted out a mystery) and it was inexpensive (I think our package was $35 and if you’re thinking that’s expensive, it’s not once you see what you get. How much you spend after that is up to you, but I kept it cheap with pizza and salad and fruit and veggies all served on my china.). I did spend a little extra to have the scripts printed at Office Depot (won’t do that again), but their script doubled as their party favor.I have in the past spent $200 on glow bowling, Rock E Rat, whatever and felt really terrible about it. There was always a kid (usually mine) who spent the entire party hiding under a table because of the noise and The Rodent, or there was always a kid who “hates bowling. And these precise chips you have served. And also Canada.” (Seriously? If your kid hates bowling, please let me spend my $10 on a kid who loves it.)I’ve found that if I host a party in a place like that that suddenly what I offer the kids (cake, ice cream, chips, pizza, all the glow bowling and dj’d music their little hearts and ears can stand) isn’t enough for some kids. They want money for the game room, they want money for the snack machine, they want to run around the venue and be a pita. I wind up being pissed off at their nerve and sense of entitlement and turn into bitch mom – as in Amy, your mom’s a bitch. But if I keep it relatively simple the kids are much more polite and content with what is offered.Oh, and gift bags? I used to do them all themey but then I realized that if *I’m* tossing the plastic crap and leftover holiday candy then the other mothers are too. I don’t do them anymore. Big waste of money – especially if you’re offering a craft as an activity.FWIW.Oh, and to the anon who busted on 1/2 birthday parties? As a child whose birthday falls 2 days short of Christmas I never got to have cupcakes in school. I never got my name announced. I didn’t get my birthday pencil *sniff*, and when it was party time none of my friends could come because it was too close to Christmas. My mother threw me a 1/2 birthday party in the summer and while I never got my birthday pencil *sniff*, I DID get to celebrate my special day with 7 of my best friends. Some of my best memories are from those very simple parties my mom threw. I LOVED my 1/2 birthday parties. Suck on it.
>%0 friends for a 4 yo birthday party! I don’t have 50 friends to invite to my birthday party! I am so glad all 3 of my children were born while the school is on break, January and 2 in July. I feel really lucky.
>We have back yard birthday parties for my oldest – and have fo ryears. We also say NO PRESENT PLEASE on the invite, so he invites as many kids as he wants. But, his birthday is in August and we have a huge yard. WE throw a bunch of pools / water things out there, so our cost is the blow up pools, the cake, and the goodies, which ends up being about 100, but that’s for about 15 or so kids.THe other two however were born in Feb, which in the DC area is tough. It’s too cold outside and everything inside is way expensive. We did hit Build a Bear which, if you are careful, can be kept down. We did pizza in teh mall, a cake from a store, and had 6 friends over (snowstorm – the resat couldnt get here) and it was right at $100. That said, there was an article in the Washington Post a while back about some cultures who have these elaborate aprties – spending thousands of dollars. They hire bans, caterers, halls, performers of various sorts, serve alcohol, and run well into the night. All this for a two year old. Can’t even begin to imagine that.This year my kids had their party at our gym, invited as many as they wanted, and it cost us $240 total. Again no presents on the invite (which seems to be a bit unusual here but not in Texas where we moved from) and everyone had a good time. Then again ther are two kids, so that’s not much considering. Best of luck – not sure that we can hit under $200 unless you have room in th e house for the kiddos, and are very craft or thrifty.
>okay, i haven’t read all the posts (the dishes await! the floor needs to be swept! the laundry is piled up! and hubby’s b-day is tomorrow!) but i did want to pass along this fantastic low-cost party that our friends threw for their 5-yo boy: pajama party on a Saturday morningdad makes blueberry pancakes (w/ whipped cream and strawberries on top, who needs a cake?)parents sit around sipping mimosas (cheap champagne or sparkling wine works fine!)and the kids do a teddy bear exchange or book exchange to keep with the pj theme and cut down on unnecessary gifts. the kids loved it and the parents liked those tasty drinks. Done!
>I must admit I am guilty of big birthday bashes. I love parties thats my problem and anytime I can throw a bash, I’m all about it! However I am not trying to keep up with anyone I just love having everyone together talking, lauhging and having fun. We had thirty kids this year and my daughters birthday is in December we had the party at a gym with a High School Musical theme. The parents loved it because the kids had been cooped up all winter and they were running around like crazy! It was great.
>I think $200 is totally reasonable and your party looked like a lot of fun. My 13 year old sister is invited to party after party where all the girls wear makeup and cocktail dresses. Boys are always invited but rarely show up. Yes – they’re 13 – seventh grade. Fortunately my sister thinks its all a bit much and is much happier hanging out with one or two girls making parody videos (their America’s Next Top Model episode was hilarious). Her own 12th birthday party was pretty elaborate – my parents rented a Fadds party bus with a d.j. who drove them all around town. I thought it was a bit ridiculous but they all had a blast and she only invited her close friends – not the entire class. But seriously – that was her only big birthday party she has ever had in her 13 years of life so I guess blowing it all out once is okay.
>My sister sent me this link today because I’m publishing a post about how I”m a big lame loser slacker mom who hardly planned anything for my kids party.I understand that frustration and competition thing, it sucks. Sounds like you found a solution though.
>Yes, even as a kid I know that elaborate is expensive and not-so elaborate is where it’s at! Here it is”A Ten year old’s guide to having a cheap party that is still cool ORATYGTHACPTHACPTISC “Pre – PartyFigure out if your child what type of party your child wants. Remind him or her not to go too overboard (ex. I want a pretty pink pony with a long flowing mane that talks!) Stick to a theme that you can do at home. Buy supplies to go with the theme. Stick with Primary Color Plates for the snacks. Character ones for cakeNext, Go to Wal-Mart or Food Lion with your child and choose a cake and some Ice Cream. If you have younger children I reccomend Cupcakes. Forget about Goodies for the guests
>I am 36 years old with two kids, a 7 year old and a 1 year old (both girls). I am following the same gameplan my mother did. Cake and ice cream on every birthday, but birthday parties for the milestones (5, 10, 13, and 16). For me 5 was at McDonald’s; 10 was a BBQ cookout, 13 was a skating party; and 16 was my 2 best friends out at a fancy restaurant.a Mom from Philly.