Warped Childhood, Restoration Hardware Style: SPRING 2015 EDITION

It’s been a while since I’ve checked in on the brilliant minds at Restoration Hardware- and when I finally got around to it, I was so pleased to find that they’ve come out with a whole new collection of furniture and accessories for our darling children– as well as a bunch of helpful new photos to give us inspiration for our little ones’ rooms.

Of course, I just had to show you the best of the best– and so now, without further adieu, I present to you WARPED CHILDHOOD, RESTORATION HARDWARE STYLE: SPRING 2015!

 “But is it wise to keep a burning lantern on the changing table?” Snapsy’s mother-in-law asked hesitantly. “Won’t it burn Noggins’s little feet? Or even… God forbid… set the nursery on fire?”

“It’s called a theme, Betty,” Snapsy said witheringly. “Duh-uh.”

 

“What a find!” Mary Pat said admiringly, running a hand lightly over the vintage schoolhouse desk in Hydrangea’s son’s room. “Did you come across it at a tag sale?”

“Heavens no!” Hydrangea snorted. “It’s Restoration Hardware, darling. A steal at five hundred ninety-nine dollars.”

 

“It was important to me that Bohemia know what a tree looks like,” Fringe told her friends wistfully. “It’s the only thing we’re really lacking here in the city. I considered having the artist paint grass, too– but I didn’t want to overwhelm her with information.”

 

“Why are all your toys made of unpainted wood?” Mason’s friend Roqueford asked during a playdate.

“Mummy says it’s because of her design aesthetic,” Mason replied.

“Design as-petick!” Roqueford exclaimed. “What’s that?”

“I don’t know, really,” Mason sighed. “I think it’s some kind of allergy.”

 

“I had hoped a soothing palette in Phlegmon’s bedroom would help curb his hyperactivity,” Rhodesia confided to her sister.

“And is it working?” Artemis asked.

“Not really,” Rhodesia replied. “Just last week, he stuck his head through the canvas of the Picasso in Arthur’s study. We’re having it repaired but Arthur is incensed. He claims it will never be quite the same.”

 

It wasn’t until Siddington discovered he was the only boy on the youth practice field with a cloth football that he realized the extent of his mother’s overprotectiveness.

 

 “I’m hoping these mounted animal heads will spark important conversation once Goodall starts talking,” Peek explained earnestly. “I want him to understand that meat is murder just as soon as possible.”

 

“Wow,” Butch said when his new wife proudly revealed the bed she’d purchased for Colton’s room. “This is more… extravagant… than I had expected. You do realize he’ll only be here for a month each summer?”

“You said you wanted me to make his room a home away from home,” Tiffanii said indignantly. “And that is exactly what I did.”

“I’m pretty sure my dad’s gonna be pissed when he finds out we paid $2800 for Beauregarde’s bed,”  Chalmers told his wife uneasily. “He would have loved to build something like himself, you know… and he could have done it for next to nothing.”

“Well, we should probably stop inviting him over, then,” Weegie replied with the most innocent smile she could muster.

 

“With an opera singer mother and a world-renowned cellist for a father, it’s a given little Clef is musically inclined,” Papilloma laughed. “The only trouble we’re having is preventing him from teething on his junior Stradivarius. It has bite marks all over it!”

“I tried to do something chic with Avery’s room,” Feigh Feigh sniffed, “but when she insisted on putting up that tacky bulletin board, I gave up. Apparently, you can’t breed taste.”

 

Rumor had it Mathilde had never quite gotten over placing second in the 1993 National Geographic Geography Bee– but it wasn’t until she revealed little De Soto’s new nursery to her girlfriends 22 years later that they realized the extent of her suffering.

 

Like this post? See where it all began by checking out the original Warped Childhood, Restoration Hardware Style.

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All images via Restoration Hardware.