>IUDpilogue
>”So, are you ready to do this?” the nurse asked me briskly as I followed her out of the waiting room.
“Yep,” I said casually, putting a bookmark in my novel as I walked.
“You can take a seat here,” she said, gesturing down at a chair beside a counter, before practically shouting: “And what form of birth control are we planning on using once the IUD is out?“
I stared up at her incredulously. There were, like, eight other people in the room and all of them had turned at the sound of her voice. The nurse glared back at me with pursed lips, as though she were a school nurse and I, some slutty sixteen-year-old.
“Um, my husband and I are discussing our options,” I hedged. What business was it of hers?
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.
“It means we’re handling it.”
“You need a better answer than that.”
I smiled and leaned forward in my seat. “I’ve been married for almost seven years and there’ve been no mistakes, okay?” I said quietly. “I think I can figure it out.”
She frowned and walked away and I sat back in my chair, exhaling. This was unbelievable.
A nurse who’d been standing by The Grand Inquisitor smiled tentatively at me and scooted closer.
“So you didn’t like the IUD, huh?”
“It wasn’t horrible,” I said warily. “I felt a little more PMS-y than usual. But after a few weeks, I started having break outs. Worse than when I was a teenager. And I do some TV work and I don’t want to wake up with a new zit every morning for the next five years.”
The nurse stared at me. “You do TV work?” she asked, looking me up and down skeptically as if I had just claimed to be the new Miss Universe.
“Well, yeah,” I said.
“So,” she said, leaning in for the kill. “What form of birth control will you be using now?”
The more they pressed me, the more determined I was to keep it to myself. “You know, I’m still doing some research,” I said, flashing her my best fake smile.
“We need to know because Dr. Arneault will want to know,” she explained. “She’s pretty militant about this stuff.”
I laughed. “I have known Dr. Arneault for a while now,” I said. “I don’t think she’ll be worried about my ability to choose birth control.”
She gave up. “Okay, well, once the IUD is out, we send it off for testing to make sure there was nothing wrong with it. Just so you know what’s going on.”
“Oh good,” I said with relief. “So you’re saying it won’t end up on Ebay.”
Her eyes widened. “God, no,” she sputtered.
This crew was a real laugh a minute.
The Grand Inquisitor returned. “Okay,” she said sourly. “We’re ready for you.”
I followed her to an examining room and waited there until Dr. Arneault entered.
“Lindsay!” she squealed when she saw me. “I’m so sorry, I feel so horrible that this didn’t work out.”
“It’s no big deal,” I shrugged. “I tried it and it wasn’t for me.”
“Okay, well I’m glad you’re okay with it,” she said. “I just don’t want you to be disappointed.”
She quickly launched into a discussion on what books we had both read, which is how we usually spend the bulk of our appointments. In the background, The Grand Inquisitor smiled and laughed as though she hadn’t just talked to me like I had just shown up after an appearance on Jerry Springer. The IUD was out in seconds and it didn’t hurt at all.
So now, here I am. Footloose and IUD free. I always thought there were tons of birth control options out there, but now that I’ve discovered a new and unpleasant sensitivity to hormones, I’ve realized my options are more limited than I had thought.
Fun.
>Damn! I just scheduled getting one put in, BASED ON YOUR STORY! Now I am scared I will have to run to the store and buy some Clearsil (do they still make that?!)… better than buying diapers I guess.Scared! I’m now scared!
>Well- In fairness, my doctor said I’m the first patient she’s had with acne issues. She says it affects different people in different ways. I have found my skin is really sensitive since I’ve had Bruiser- I’ve developed eczema and skin allergies to food, so I’m thinking it’s probably an offshoot to that. Some women aren’t affected at all, others are. I still say it’s worth trying, as long as your insurance will pay for it!!
>Wow! I would be a bit miffed about the nurses breathing down your neck about birth control. I almost got an IUD last month and opted to just go back to my old pills. While I am not the biggest fan of being all hyped up on hormones, my world is a bit more peaceful keeping me on them.
>I think that if you’re fine on BC pills, and most people are, you’ll do just as well with an IUD because it’s an even lower dose of hormones. I wasn’t doing well with the pill after Bruiser, so this wasn’t a total shock.
>I went off the pill recently (husband is taking care of our birth control now 🙂 and had the same experience as you. Acne like there was no tomorrow! And PMS was like PMS on steroids. Not good. So back on the pill, I go… would try the IUD, but don’t trust that it would give enough hormones to counteract the craziness! Good luck!
>I’m currently pregnant, so I don’t know how good my two cents is. Haha. I used the Nuva-Ring. I didn’t have acne or weight gain problems. And my period was just fine too. It was so easy to use.
>I hate that it didn’t work out for you. I’ve been back and forth on getting an IUD for some time.A crappy nurse sure makes all the difference at an appointment like that. I hate being talked to like a barely functioning moron.
>It sucked because I LOVE my doctor and the nurses she had when I was pregnant were wonderful. This woman was rude to me on the phone, too, when I called to schedule the appointment. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but now I realize she’s some kind of birth control nazi. Which is just inappropriate, particularly when she’s dealing with married, adult women. I kept thinking what if I were Catholic and believed in family planning? She would really have made things uncomfortable.
>I just went off the pill, simply because I can’t afford it. I thought about IUD, but I may want to have kids in the next 5 years, and they told me no. We’re just dodging fate right now! 🙂
>I didn’t realize you got a hormonal one. Mine is just copper and it totally rocks. I get heavier periods, but that’s it. Sorry yours didn’t work out.
>I use the Depo Provera shot… one shot every 3 months. So far no side effects, other than no menstrual cycle (but really, is that a side effect?).
>I got pg while my IUD was still in, so it didn’t work for me. But, seriously, what if you wanted it out to have more kids? Why is she automatically assuming you need some other form of BC?
>OB/Gyn folks (specifically nurses, residents and partners, not ones own personal doctor/NP) can be militant about birth control plan, because they are taught to TRUST NO ONE. Contrast that to a doctor who knows you and knows you are an educated individual and you see the contrast in your encounter with Dr. “Arnault” and her nurse. My wife’s doctor’s regular nurse was clearly different than a pinch hitter. Regarding options, I can recommend a good urologist to your husband, if you are looking for more permanent options. At this point, that might be the most benign option.
>To Lori: If Lindsay’s answer was “Because I want to get pregnant again,” the nurse would have been cool with that hopefully, with the f/u question of “What will you do for birth control after that, huh?”
>that sucks that it didn’t work out for you. i LOVE LOVE LOVE the mirena. love.
>Like Darth Doc said, there is always the surgical option for either or both of you if no additional children is an acceptable option. There is a good probability that the procedure(s) can be reversed depending on the technique used originally.
>I’ve had my IUD for over 3 years and love it. You DO have the option of getting one with NO hormones – didn’t they present that option to you if you’re specifically sensitive to hormones?The reason I switched was because I do want to have a baby in the next few years (just not right now) and I don’t want any hormones in my body that have to slowly leave – so I got the IUD with no hormones.Seriously – it’s the best thing I ever did.
>I’m having the same problem with the Mirena – acne. Oh joy. I think it’s because on the Pill my skin was wonderful. When I went off it when I was trying to get pregnant, I had breakouts and when I was pregnant weird breakouts, like my back and in my ears. Yech! However, on the Depo shot it was a million times worse. My check would be fine and then 30 minutes later (not exaggerating) I’d have a huge, cystic pimple. However, I do love the Mirena for the convenience and not having to take a pill every morning, which I wasn’t very good in keeping up. I’d rather have a few zits than a baby at this point.
>I really think hormones affect each woman differently. And the breakouts are just….. AWFUL. I mean, when it’s worse than it was as a teenager, it’s just not worth it, you know?And obviously, the nurse would have gotten so much farther if she asked me if I’d like some new ideas for birth control and discussed a few options. Instead, she made me feel like some dumb hick- so I can only assume she’s making everyone feel that way. It’s very off putting. I swear, I attract the meanies though. But that is another post for another time. 😀
>A good friend suggested I get one after having baby #3 and I decided against it. She told me a few of the things she hated about it in the beginning and I thought I would pass. My sister decided to get one even after I told her what happened to my friend in the beginning (although said friend still has hers in.) and last week had to go in and get it taken out because she still got pregnant. Yup. After having bleeding for weeks and all kinds of other PMS related issues. I really am not a fan of nurses like the ones at your office. I had one of those when I gave birth to my first child and was scared to death as it was. *sigh*
>We’re still trying to figure out what to do — since Mothergoosemouse got knocked up with one in and I react pretty negatively to horomone BC, it’s not looking good.Besides, I feel like I did my part, so it’s time for the hubs to step up.
>Thanks for reminding me that I’m so happy that my husband got snipped! Best part – it counted as an office visit….15 dollar copay, anyone? And he was back at work the next day….
>I had a tubal when I had my last child. I was having a C-section anyway. It was the best thing for me – I’m a lot older than you and positive I’m done.
>Sorry the IUD didn’t work out. I would tell the the doctor how you were treated by her nurse. You would be doing the doctor a favor. That nurse has probably run patients away, or discouraged them from even coming there with her phone manner. L
>I totally blogged about the IUD too. Good God it was torturous. I was a complete mess and for the first time ever started questioning my marriage. I’ve never been unhappy or depressed and the only thing I could think was that the IUD was causing my mood swings.I got it taken out stat. I’d rather carry triplets for a year than have that thing in.OK so that’s a complete lie…but still, I”m with you. Those things suck.So now I just avoid having sex and tell my husband I’m on my period at all times. I’m fine with that.He’s questioning our marriage.
>I read recently that they don’t advise women who want to get pregnant again to use IUDs, because something like one in five can’t after having an IUD.So that’s probably why IUDs aren’t more popular.
>Nurses like that always bring out the smartass in me. I probably would’ve said something like: My husband and I have joined a new church and birth control is against our religion. I expect I’ll see you in a couple of months when I’m pregnant with the next of who knows how many? We’ve been commanded to populate the earth.After I had Rockboy, the nurse at my follow-up appointment had me down for having my tubes tied. After one baby. At nineteen. (I was married and had been for over a year when Rockboy came along.) And I had to argue with her that I did NOT want my tubes tied. Apparently SHE wanted my tubes tied.
>Good Lord! “You need a better answer.”?!?!?! How rude. BTW, I am now an avid reader and your last couple of post have kept me very entertained!
>I had an IUD, with hormones – and I had it removed. It made me achy. I have the different kind; the one with NO Hormones. I LOVE IT.Good luck making some crazy birth control choice on your own… I’m sure if you need help, the nurses could give you advice. Loudly! And in public! Gah. People just don’t think, do they?
>i have had mirena two years… and have the same issues discussed (acne, cramping, achy joints, hairloss). my doctor can’t believe i’m so sensitive to the small dose of estrogen. however it was so expensive i’m too cheap to take it out… so my dermatologists put me on a medication that balances out the hormones… presto, clean skin and no more clogged shower drains! 🙂
>I would have answered much like Roadchick. Just an ever so innocent comment about wanting to use Natural Family Planning. I’ve done that, actually. Once to get pregnant, and it worked to avoid pregnancy until stress with my husband out of work made it too easy for us to mess it up.Sheesh! A polite inquiry is fine, so the doctor knows if she needs to write you a prescription. Beyond that, the nurse needs to learn when to leave it alone.Some medical professionals don’t want to hear what a layperson says if it doesn’t fit. Go with what works for you.
>So what kind of birth control ARE you going to be using?? 😉
>FYI…I had the same skin issues with the IUD, and although it got better when removed, it did not go away. What I did was go to the derm. and take a course of antibiotics, then the breakouts were gone for good
>Have you thought about the copper T paraguard IUD? Its hormone free. I cant take anything with synthetic hormones, makes me feel crazy. YOu can keep it in for 10yrs. Its great! The only drawback is you bleed like you got shot. Besides that its worry free!
>Prime reason I don't do doctors. These people get paid to assume and guess. Seriously, the last time I went the the dr. my right breast kept swelling during my period. I was terrified! It cost me near $200 to get a nice little term of mastitis (meaning inflammation of the breast….duh shit doc, ya think?) & script for 10 naproxin sodium (Aleeve). WTF? No reason as to why it was happening….oh, but he wanted to do a 'follow-up' in 6 weeks. I bet he did.I left and went to my local health food store and got a print out for free of home remedies and actual reasons for it to happen, paid $10 for some detox stuff and epsom salts and was cured.Educated idiots…all of them, dr.s & nurses.
>The hormones in the Mirena are released locally and in much lower doses than the pill. I am really surprised that it would cause acne. Is that even on the side effects list? I am bummed for you. I’m on my 2nd one now (6 years total) and it has been a dream- so I was hoping the same for you! Nurse Cratchett needs to check herself though! Why do they care what method you will use next? Shoulda said, “We aint gonna use nuthin’ beyatch, we’re gunnin fer anuther baybe so’s we can get more food stamps!”
>At least you were in a gyno’s office! After the birth of my 4th I went to the dermatologist and got a lecture from him on birth control!
>In between my first and second pregnancy i used the basic copper IUD with no hormones and got preganant straight away after having it removed. I also cannot take the pill as the hormones make me crazy and the copper IUD was absolutely fine.
>I’m with Sandie, I’m kinda concerned. I had horrible reactions to the patch and the pill since my second son. Add another child and it may be better to just test our luck until I can convince the Hubs into the Big Snip.
>Lindsay,If you have a problem with a specific nurse, please let your doctor know. We always want to know if one of our teammates are making our job more difficult by affecting our relationship with a patient with inappropriate behavior.I suspect that in addition to being a “Birth Control Nazi,” like a lot of medical personel, she is so used to having a broad intelligence/knowledge range in patients, so she just consistently uses the least common denominator.It’s happened to me, and I had to point out, um…I am a doctor, AT THIS INSTITUTION…that was funny.
>Okay, this is my first time here and you are cracking me up! What the heck is the deal with those nurses? Aren’t we all adults here? I am pregnant with my fourth, three of them were conceived on multiple forms of birth control- I say, skip the acne and worry about the birth control later!
>I hate nurses that are smug,in a way to imply that you are too stupid to think for yourself. I would have innocently batted my eyelashes at her and said, “why i will probably go the old fashion route, you know, a stick and a carrot’ done a hair flip, rolled my eyes and flounced away. I actually told the nurse at my doctors, when she handed me a bottle of baby vitamins and said, now you give these orally…Oh shit! I’ve been putting them in his ear for 5 months!
>Vascectomy.And that is all I have to say about THAT.
>Incidentally, your statistic about women not being able to get pregnant after using an IUD is 100% incorrect. It’s sort of horrifying to me that you’ve said this, actually. Infertility may have been a problem with the 1970s models, but is not with the current models. The companies that make the IUD warn against it to cover their asses from a liability standpoint, but there is exactly zero data that show that women who’ve used an IUD can’t get pregnant later.
>Darling, I LIVE to horrify.
>hahaha – I LOVE your response to Old MD Girl 🙂