“Christian”
I wrote Monday about the spiritual epiphany I’ve had during the last year or so. (And by the way, your comments have been stunning and tear-inducing and WOW. If you haven’t read them, go do it.) I told you about my decision to not let other people’s uninformed and unsolicited opinions about my life hold me back from trying to figure out what God wants from me, and how God wants me to live.
It isn’t that I think my shortcomings and sins are okay. I don’t. It’s that I began to question my motivation for fixing them. Was I truly trying to eliminate them because of my faith, or was I trying to cover them up because I wanted other people to think I had faith? The distinction is important.
I’ve felt good about my decision to pursue an authentic relationship with God. I feel like I’m finally headed in the right direction. I’ve begun attending a church that gives me great food for thought and I’ve made Christian friends over the last few years whose lives I admire, who admit their mistakes, and who don’t come across as judgmental. And I’ve really been feeling like God has been letting me know I’m on the right track. There have been several amazing coincidences… meeting Angie was one of them.
I found Angie’s blog a few months ago, after she won Divine Caroline’s Love This Site Awards in the parenting division. I had never heard of her, but I quickly realized after reading some of her blog that she lived nearby. A few weeks later, she walked in the door at Starbucks while I was there writing. I recognized her instantly.
Before I left, I introduced myself to her, since my blog had been chosen as the other parenting winner on Divine Caroline, and it was so unlikely that we not only lived in the same city, but also were at the same Starbucks. But I didn’t expect her to like me very much. She’s the wife of a Christian singer and has a very, very Christ-centered blog. I… don’t.
Although her blog is totally different from mine, I continued reading it after we met. I was completely drawn in. No matter what your faith, it’s undeniable that Angie is an amazing writer and an amazing person. Not only did she make a radical decision when faced with tragedy, she opted to share it with the world, opening herself to some harsh criticism in the process. I admire her so much for not being afraid to simply be who she is.
I thought she’d be perfect for an upcoming Backtalk episode, and invited her over to do an interview. I promised it wouldn’t take longer than 15 minutes. Angie ended up staying for more than two hours. We could not stop talking. She was smart and thoughtful and outgoing and interesting. And I am sure that anyone would say the same upon meeting her, regardless of his or her beliefs.
A few days later, Angie wrote on her blog about meeting me. I have to admit, I cringed when I saw it. Many of Angie’s readers seemed exactly like the cute and sunny “sorority” of Christian women whose judgment I feared. To their credit, the vast majority of them were excited we had met, and were more than kind. Some of them even said they already read my blog.
But there were a few who weren’t at all happy that Angie had linked to me. They were bothered by the profanity on my blog. One mentioned my “immodest picture.” And there was more:
“Whatever happened to not condoning things like that? I’m not trying to be ugly at all, but I just thought someone kinda needed to speak out in respect of the Lord and what it means to be Christ-like. I don’t really think looking and talking like that is it.”
I tried not to let that bother me, but it did. But this comment bothered me even more:
“Because it’s been mentioned, I also want to comment on ST’s use of profanity. I do really enjoy her blog, but I haven’t added her to my blogroll because of her “word choices”. Not that she’d care, she has enough readers w/o my recommendation. I just tried to ignore the profanity until she wrote that she was a “Christian”. I’ve never looked at her blog the same way since. This is not to pick on Lindsay, I think she’s really sweet and talented. But I do think we have a responsibility as Christian bloggers. We need to represent Christ.”
Don’t think the word Christian put in italics was lost on me.
Ouch.
Part of what disturbed me about these comments was that these women were right; Sometimes, I’m hardly a “model of Christ.” As I said in the last post, I have written things in the past that I’m not very proud of today. I don’t think they were horrible, but I do think I’m at least a little bit wiser now and I might have made different choices.
But that second commenter I mentioned wasn’t done. Today, she read my Monday post on religion and left another comment here, saying that she actually cried when she read the post I wrote a few months ago, revealing I was a Christian.
Cried. And they weren’t tears of joy, either.
Now, right away, I don’t want anyone reading this post to attack these commenters for their words. I really mean that. I will delete comments that are mean spirited (although judging from the way you’ve all been so far, I sort of doubt that will happen).
But I had to include them in this post because I don’t think these women realize that their words are exactly the kind of thing that hold people like me back from even attempting to follow God or attend church. I read these kinds of comments on Angie’s post and I immediately felt bad for being her friend. I didn’t want people to think badly of her for “associating” with me. I wondered if she would read those comments and decide it would be best to keep her distance. I wouldn’t have blamed her. And it made me feel so very lonely.
At the same time, I have taken a couple of weeks to think about it and I still think I’m doing the right thing by being honest with you. It would be inauthentic of me to act like I’m not struggling with what’s right and wrong right now. It also would be inauthentic for me to start spouting scripture and writing long prayers on my blog (although I know me some scripture, y’all. Thanks to a lifetime of Sunday school, youth group, and Bible classes, I know me some scripture.).
My question to these women who judged me is, first of all, who are you to say that Angie can’t be a positive influence on me? One that perhaps I could really use right now?
Secondly, isn’t there a pretty good possibility that someone who would never read Angie’s blog might just read mine, see themselves in what I’m going through, go to church for the first time in years, and have a positive, life changing experience?
If you believe that God has a plan for each of us (and I know that these particular commenters do), how could you possibly know what He has in store for me? Or the mysterious ways He could use my life, complete with all its imperfections, to convince others that maybe they could give this God thing a try, too? Couldn’t the fact that I truly am interested in learning about others’ beliefs (or non-belief) and not interested in arguing about it make dialogue possible here that wouldn’t be possible on a more “model of Christ”-like blog?
That said, why on earth would you say things to hold me, or anyone else, back? The Bible is filled with people who made mistakes, BIG mistakes, even after they became believers. Their stories inspire us and give us hope. How would my pretending to be a model of Christ every single day on this blog do anyone any good? They’d see right through it.
Still, it’s disappointing that I made someone cry by calling myself a Christian.
Because looking back, I like to think God raised His fist in the air when I did that and was all, “Yeah! Finally! It’s out there! Now let’s see what I can do here!”
I’m a work in progress.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
For now, anyway.
Image via digipam/Flickr
>We all struggle with our own faith at different times in our lives. It is very sad for me that someone would judge me (or you) for not being perfect. None of us are perfect.
>Love this. Thanks for writing this out…I know it’s not always easy to be transparent and vulnerable, but it’s such a treasure to others. I appreciate it and you. 🙂
>I’m sad to say that I think there is always this crowd; they think they’ve figured it out and feel so strangely free to judge others. Why they don’t realize that they keep people away (and God would NOT like that y’all) in being this way is beyond me. They should read and comment every day here, trying to have a positive influence on you, if they are so convinced you need it.
>Just wanted to pass along the lyrics of a great musical artist from Minnesota – his name is Jason Gray and wrote an album that was largely out of suffering, pain, and imperfection. I thought of this song as I was reading your post. It’s called “Weak.” “I was aftraid to be weak, afraid to be me. I was afraid because I didn’t want them to see what’s broken in me. But I guess I was wrong. I shouldn’ve know all along. When I’m weak, You are strong in me. You make up what I lack, You shine through the cracks where I was shattered…” Good stuff. God works through our weakness. And we are ALL weak.God bless.
>A wonderful post. I think you have written the perfect response to the commenters. A friend of mine and her husband started a couples bible group. (I only point this out kind of as a way to give some credibility I guess.)In a recent conversation with her she brought something up that sticks with me. She said that “as true Christians it is not for us to judge others. In the end it is only God’s judgment that matters.” I guess I’m just trying to say I agree with you on so many points. I would truly like to see the answers to your questions.
>What an amazing post. It strikes home completely. When my husband and I met I was Catholic (still am) and his family is Jehovah Witness (yeah, I know.) He was not JW but can you imagine the shagrin I got and still get. He has recently converted to Catholicism and boy did I pay for that from his side.None of my posts are strickly religion based but many include references. His family reads my blog and I shy away from frontal combat. I wish I could follow you in your courage, who knows maybe you are what I needed! Kudos.
>I want to say that I think it’s great what you’re saying and being so honest. I have found the more often than not that other Christians can be the most judgemental, and people of other faiths and walks of life the most accepting. Weird isn’t it? When it comes down to it, we are all (I believe) going to be judged by God, and it isn’t our job as Christians to take his job away from Him.
>Well done girl!! We are all works in progress…that is for sure. I read Angie’s blog all the time and it she inspires me to be a better Christian. God wants us to reach out to those that are struggling or unsure…and again…our job as Christians is not to judge but to lead others to Him. In my opinion you are doing what the Lord wants us to do, strive to be more like Him. Don’t get discouraged…I’m proud of you and look forward to following your journey. Many Blessings,Amanda
>I actually linked to your blog from Angie’s and laughed out loud at your header/logo. I am a Christian too and I’ve been going through the same struggle…I have spent a lot of years depressed and trying to be what I thought a Christian woman should be. Turns out, God just wants me to be me! He loves me EXACTLY the way He made me. Ditto for you, sister. Great post.
>O. M. G. Why would anyone cry to know that someone has a relationship with God, or is a Christian?I am speechless
>Everything that you are saying is exactly what I am feeling in my walk with God right now. I don’t feel authentic and sometimes I fear really expoloring the relationship for fear of judgement. You have accepted your judgements in such a graceful and I’m not sure I could have. Thank you so much for sharing your true, honest feelings. It has touched me in a special way. I’m not the only one… Thank you!
>I am very confused by people who act as if Christianity is some sort of club with a membership vote. Seriously do not get it.
>You are wonderful and amazing and please do not let the judgements of others get you down. I seriously believe that God does not give a rat’s hiney what cuss words you happen to use sometimes as long as your heart is kind and forgiving. I have absolutely no doubt that yours is.
>I strongly agree with the first comment. I also strongly agree with your post. None of us are perfect. It’s as simple as that. And a Christian shouldn’t look down at another Christian because they aren’t quite Christian-enough for them.
>”I like to think God raised His fist in the air when I did that and was all, ‘Yeah! Finally! It’s out there! Now let’s see what I can do here!'”I like that you think this – a lot of times I struggle with whether I should even tell people I’m a Christian because I mess up so much, but I think this is the right way to look at it.Becca Pippin (is it weird that I read a “mommyblog?”)
>First of all, your picture is NOT immodest. Like, at all. Also, your tagline makes me laugh so much. Recently I received a message from somebody who had known me years ago and found me again through my myspace music page. Literally, she looked at my pics and listened to some music I have written and then proceeded to write how I have “obviously really changed,” that she hoped I would “return to the Lord, and separate from the world rather than falling more INTO it.” Again, she got this from my myspace–not even my blog, where you do glimpse more into who I actually am. It kind of shocked me. I wrote her a long message, basically saying that she doesn’t know me at all and I would have loved it if she had saved her conclusions for after she had actually started some sort of dialogue with me. I am sorry those comments hurt your feelings. I am so glad you are being honest; there are many people who find hope, inspiration, and humor from your writing. I think God is totally proud of you.
>Wow – thank you, Lindsay. This *really* helps me to understand some of the apprehension that you talked about earlier. It’s defiitely weird to read about as a non-christian, since my experiences are so different (a small web video I watched recently had a subtle reference to paganism/wicca, and I was totally excited to see that in a non-explicitly pagan space. Ditto for seeing the other pagans in some of your comments. The intricacies that go along with having so MANY co-believers are just totally foreign to me.)I’m trying to understand where the commenters might have been coming from, and it just doesn’t make sense to me. Is it a desire to make sure Christianity is always seen as totally separate from swearing, doubt, salaciousness or anything else of that ilk? Many, many Christians whom I know have lives that include all of that and more, and I think you’re right in saying that they can feel very unwelcome in more Officially Christian spaces. I can definitely understand working to focus one’s own life on things outside of that sphere, but trying to say that no Christian can have those things in his or her life is a big escalation. And, it refuses to acknowledge the reality of many, many Christians. No quote marks needed.
>Great guilt trip. Is this woman sure she’s not Jewish? But I digress.From the outside, I can tell you that Christians do, indeed, appear to be very judgemental. It isn’t very attractive.I actually had a nice, Catholic woman tell me one time that, if she didn’t know I was not religious, she would never have guessed, because I was a nice person. HUH? Do Christians have a monopoly on nice? If so, where are some of them hiding it?Go forth and be yourself. Damn the consequences. And the other folks who try to make your life miserable for it.
>I’m nervous to comment, but I feel like I should and if I’m wrong delete me :0) I discovered your blog through Angies and I love both. You have a good head on your shoulders and you’re brave for being so open, we’re human, things like those comments hurt, even if they’re untrue or unwarented. Judgment itself is very unchrist like, yet as humans we all find ourselves doing it. I admire that you not only accept these comments but defend them, and you’re right to. There will always be those who we see as “better” than ourselves or “worse”, and that’s again our nature to compare even if we’re not conscious of it. Unfortunately it’s comments like those that turn many away from God. A relationship with him is very personal, it’s one on one and only he and you can decide what is and isn’t proper for you, no one else. I have witnessed, as someones relationship with God strengthen the person becomes a stronger pillar of a Christian model. That person may or may not be aware of the changes they have made, that’s the beauty of God, he has the power to change and accept and love unconditionally so few of us have. Besides you’re not listed as a Christian blogger are you?I love your blog and honestly I don’t think of you or Angie as “christian writers” or “non christian writers” I think of you both as inspirational, admirable, encouraging…and THAT’S what matters here.
>To the people who are judging and claiming you’re not Christian enough, I only have this to say, taken straight out of the bible:”Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”.I’ve found that the Christians I come in physical contact with (and only those I come in physical contact with, I will not presume to make observations about the masses, since I do not KNOW the masses), are some of the single most judgmental people I have ever met. There is no concept of “love thy neighbor” , or of the quote listed above. It’s all “Oh, that person is immoral because they did this, that or the other thing. S/He must not be a real Christian.” Then there’s the ones who claim I am going to Hell because of my religious choice (pagan, to refresh the memory)…Oh, how I love them.The point of religion is to find your God in your OWN way. Live your life to be a good person. God (Or Goddess, or whatever) does not care about a swear here and there. I think S/He is far more concerned with those things like murder, war and other violence than S/He is about you slipping up and saying “Ass”. Treat yourself and those around you with love and respect (unless they blatantly don’t deserve it, in which case ignore them). Go to church if you want. Pray. Tithe if you feel the need. No one, not one soul on this planet, has the right to tell you that you are not a good Christian. Unless you’re out running people over with your car, of course. But you’re not.
>What a great response. This type of judgement has been the reason my husband of 5 years and I have yet to find a church home. We were both raised in Protestant Christian homes, and both attended Christian colleges. Our faith is strong but we have both encountered such judgement and hypocrisy within Christian circles it’s been much easier to abandon the search. Recently, we’ve been attending a church that seems to address the issue of self-righteous judgement head on, and has been warm and welcoming. I’m hoping we may have found our home. Thank you for addressing this so honestly. I hope some of the women who originally commented about you will see this post–and that it makes an impact.
>I think it’s important to stress here again that the majority of Angie’s commenters were supportive or at the very least, said nothing about my blog. I also don’t find the Christians at my church to be judgmental or exclusive. Or at my last church for that matter. Unfortunately, remarks made by a few CAN have the power to make a person want to give up on religion altogether. I don’t think some Christians realize that. I think they believe they’re doing us all a service by telling us what we’re doing wrong. I have Christian friends who write Christian blogs, and honestly, they get far more “trolls” and critical e-mails from other religious people than I’ve ever gotten. And that’s just sad.
>Exactly. I don’t see the point in bashing another person’s religion. If you feel you are close to God, or getting there anyway, and you live your life to be a good person, then who cares? A person’s religion is a very personal experience and no one, no one has the right to judge it. How you develop your relationship with God is your business and not that of anyone else.I still don’t think God cares about a swear though Lol.
>Now I’m confused. Are we talking about someone crying because you’re a christian and you said “ass”? Because wow. Is that really so bad? Ass? You’re not profane. You’re just not. I don’t understand why they’re upset. I don’t get it. Nope.
>When we look at the people Christ chose to surround himself with, we see flawed and broken people. Realizing that we are flawed and desiring to be broken are what it takes to be a Christian (literally, a Christ-follower). I truly pray that God meets you where you’re at in your search for Him. He longs to be with you…
>Outstanding! and thats coming from a Christ following, Stumbling wife,mother and friend.. I love the fire that you have inside you! I was told once by someone at church not to give up my fire but use it in a way that God would be glorified… Lets just say Im still working on it..:) Im excited to see whats in your future…
>Yeah, I’ve been very tempted to note that the word “ass” is used quite a bit in the Bible, but I haven’t. Until now.Of course, I’ve also been tempted to make a new photo header of me wiping down a donkey. Decisions, decisions.
>I applaud your honesty. I applaud your beliefs. Hell, I applaud everything about you. Thanks for writing this.
>If we were all perfect, Christ and Christianity would have never existed. It’s not to say that we shouldn’t watch what we do and what we say, but we are all a work in progress. Just as children do many things right and many things wrong, so are we God’s children. We should strive each day to please him, but he understands our hearts. Please keep pushing toward your relationship with God. In him, you will find true glory and peace. God will judge us the way we have judged others. Our Chrit-o-meter can only be held up to the standard of Christ himself. Keep writing about faith. We all can benefit from your openess!
>I’ve really appreciated your couple of posts on this topic the last couple of days. You writing feels so authentic and honest.I just have to say that I relate to you and where you are on your faith journey — more so than I do with others. Each person has their own faith and is on a different path, so it’s cool to being able to relate to someone who feels like their in a similar position. I think you’re brave for exposing yourself — and I hope/pray that it helps strengthen your faith!
>I have little to add but wanted to say thank you for your posts on this. I appreciate your honesty, because I know it takes downright bravery sometimes. Frankly, I aspire to become so honest more of the time. And those who don’t like it can suckit. ;)Wendy in Oregona new reader delurking
>Lindsay, I too found your blog through Angie’s. Your post broke my heart a little and I had way more to say than I could have put here, so I wrote a blog about it.http://whatanamateur.wordpress.comI can’t say enough how much the world needs your authenticity.
>It’s because of posts like these that I love reading your blog.
>You KNOW how I feel about this. But, I do want to say. I wonder who Jesus is more displeased with. The person who believes in Christ, lives a good life that is pleasing to Him who occasionally says “Shit” or the Perfect Christian who caused another to stumble with their judgmental, holier than thou attitude?
>Dear Abby used to say that church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints. Amen. I find it so ironic that the figure that wrote much of the New Testament, Paul, was one of the worst sinners imaginable and showed us what redemption was all about, yet many people don’t hold out that possibility for sinners (everyone) anymore.
>Judging people has everything to do with insecurity and nothing whatsoever to do with Christianity.Exhorting is one thing. Judging is quite another.
>i started reading your blog about 2 years ago and i love it. i love that you live in nashville (i am from murfreesboro but live in new york now)and that i’m familiar with the places you’re writing about. i love your sense of humor. i used to read you in (on?) the nashville scene and have read every single thing you’ve ever written on parents.com and your new ventures too. and have never, ever thought that you were “less than.” when you started talking about church and being a christian i was excited! and when you mentioned crosspoint i was even MORE excited! my best friend and her husband attend crosspoint and when i come home i visit with them. i’ve met pete and think he’s incredible and if i lived anywhere near that’s where i would go to church.i think what you’re doing is great. i think that your honesty and transparency AND AUTHENTICITY will be honored by the only One who matters.everyone has to find his or her own way, and i have enjoyed watching you find yours. i think what God is doing with you is beautiful and so grateful that i can be a witness from afar.and, by the way, i read angie’s blog too (and have since the beginning of the audrey caroline story). so what does it say about me that i love both of your blogs?!
>Although I don’t believe in organized religion and don’t claim Christianity, Christ had/has some amazing lessons most of us could benefit from. Along with some other past spiritual teachers.I’ve lived in MidTN for almost 4 years now, and haven’t gone to any sort “house of worship” in a far greater time. If your church is as open and honest as you are, I’d love to learn more about it.
>Also, I wanted to say that people really need to think about the power of their words when putting down others for not being a “good christian” It’s taken me my entire adult life to get over it. I hope you don’t mind if I post the link, Lindsay. I’m an ASS like that.http://www.joyunexpected.com/archives/2008/08/ive_written_bef.php
>On the journey to modeling Christ, we all start at different points on the map – and God has us taking different routes to the same destination. We each proceed at our own pace, do our own backtracking when necessary and sometimes get lost in the woods.What we forget is that our particular map won’t work for someone else, and vice versa. The only person whose progress I’m qualified to judge is…myself.Your honesty and transparency is incredible – it’s evident that God is truly working in you and drawing you to Himself. It breaks my heart that it’s other Christians that are getting in the way of that.
>Great post. I cuss, I say choice words, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in god and ask his forgiveness for my slipups.
>Wow, Lawyer Mom – you nailed it.
>No one should be diminishing others in the name of Christ. This behavior of other Christians has been the biggest discouraging factor in identifying myself as a Christian. NO one is perfect, this we know. We’re each supposed to strive to be better, to be stronger, to be better Christians. To measure our imperfections against someone else’s… well that just doesn’t make sense.
>I don’t know about you, but the few who say the unkind things always seem to be louder in my head than the ones who open their arms with support. I’m sorry that judgment fell on you. I’m a Christian, and just so you know, I screw up ALL the time. I once swore into the microphone at church in front of the whole congregation by accident. Yep. I’m smooth. I think judging is an easy trap for people to fall into when it’s hidden behind righteousness. I shudder to think how many times I’ve probably judged something or someone and not even realized it. We all hopefully grow and learn from mistakes. But hear this: as much as people cry tears because of their own issues, God is smiling through tears of joy that you see Him.And I think He laughed when I swore in the microphone. Because everyone else sure did.
>OK, one more try. I thought it was clear that I was so upset because I didn’t feel you were even trying to represent Christ through your life (which is what I believe Christianity is all about), NOT because you’re not perfect. I HATE it when bloggers pretend they are perfect. And I really like your header, btw.I had been reading your blog, laughing out loud and crying from laughter for almost two years before I read ANY mention of Christianity. That’s why I cried. But I think I’m understanding a litle bit more of your reasons from this post.I’m truly sorry you have been so hurt by the church. Really, we all have been, and it’s sad. Christians are not perfect, but that’s no excuse not to try. Which I guess was really my whole point.I had no intention of adding insult to injury, AND I definitely took up for you as much as I criticized. BUT, while *I* might not feel like I committed any great offense, it obviously caused you pain. For that I am very very sorry. I truly ask your forgiveness.
>wow, so thought provoking as always. I think about this a lot too – authenticity – in faith but other issues too. am i doing it for REAL, soul-deep purpose or appearance. as you say, verrry different.It is “okay” for people to choose to read you or not read you for whatever reason they choose, even okay to say “i don’t like swearing; it doesn’t fit with *MY* definition of christianity/good writing/bubble gum” but.. likewise, it’s okay for you to know that you and the G-d you believe in are okay if you do.I’m neither Christian, nor free from judgementalism BY FAR but…. it sure doesn’t seem in the spirit of the faith to be cruel, to cause tears (knowingly or unknowingly) or to presume there is only one path to righteousness.My personal G-d/spirit/inner voice loves swearing, laughing, and damn good writing. You have all of those. mwah.
>To answer your last question, yes. I’m a committed agnostic/atheist (depending on the day) and I would never read the Christian blogs you talk about. But I love your blog. So, you are reaching a heathen like me with a Godly message, and I hope the less profanity inclined Christian bloggers can appreciate the reach of your words.
>I love reading your blog – *hugs*
>ashley here.. long time reader first time commenter. i don’t comment because i’m not all witty and cool like you and i’m a woman of few words. but i think this comment might make you feel a little better. back to when you said, “..isn’t there a pretty good possibility that someone who would never read Angie’s blog might just read mine, see themselves in what I’m going through, go to church for the first time in years, and have a positive, life changing experience?”i don’t remember how i found your site but i did. you’ve written about religion before and how you found an awesome church and you linked to pastor pete at withoutwax once. i love his blog and his musings are so insightful. i just thought it was interesting because i did exactly what you just posed as a possibility. i know this is cheesy. but i do think it was God that led me to your site to see how there are people out there who aren’t perfect and then He led me to withoutwax. so.. don’t think twice about that person who cried when you announced your faith. think of people like me because you bring us joy and wisdom. 😀
>”I still think I’m doing the right thing by being honest with you. It would be inauthentic of me to act like I’m not struggling with what’s right and wrong right now.”I think you are right here.I’m also sad that that commenter believes that Jesus’ reputation is so fragile that your behavior is able to damage it so badly, and would take it out on you.On a slightly different subject…If you haven’t already found it, you might really enjoy reading Letters From Kamp Krusty. His often farcical critiques of Christian culture are balanced by a passion for getting at what Jesus is about.
>I also read Angie’s blog, and I admire her faith and her ability to LIVE OUT her faith in every moment.We are ALL works in progress. Every single person. The fact of the matter is that when you are moving forward, people will always try to hold you back. People will always try to judge you. Most of the time, those people will be Christians who hide their judgement behind their faith. The only thing you can do is ignore them or pray for them, and go about your life. The most powerful thing to know about God is that He created you, just as you are. Every flaw, every sin, all of it. He knows you and He loves you. And when you KNOW that, what others think doesn’t matter so much anymore. Good luck on your journey. 🙂
>I’m obviously setting myself up for a lot of criticism by commenting again, but I really think it’s worth it. I just wanted to add that I had NO idea you were in a renewed walk with Christ. So many people claim the name of Christ and then live however they want. When you mentioned Jesus out of the blue, if I remember kinda lightly, I wrongfully assumed you were one of those people.BUT I’ve just read and reread this post and you clearly do not fall into that category at all. You seem to desire authenticity, possibly more than anyone else I know. I’m truly glad I stumbled upon these posts, even though I’ve been in tears all day from the criticism. Yeah, clearly I’m just a crier, so that should make you feel better!;)I pray God will heal any wounds I have caused, and will greatly use your life (and blog!).
>i just wanted to say that i love this post and wish we could send it to the people who have been hurt, rejected, criticized or condemned by “the church” before. i am blessed that i have found a church that is open and understanding and genuine, and i appreciate so much your authenticity and honesty in building your RELATIONSHIP with God. because it all comes down to what’s between you and God–not what people see or think they see.
>I am a “Christian” and I follow your blog and Angie’s. I think you are fabulous, and I also think that the authenticity of your recent posts have drawn me nearer to God. I love how candid and honest you have been, and there is no doubt that youre blog may be the first time in someones life that they realize that its okay to not have it all together. There is more Christ in that than any pretentious display of “Christian” ideals put together to “bring glory to God.” You are His child, and for Him, for me, and for anyone else that really knows Him, that is enough.
>I think people need to rememer that to be Christian, means that you believe in and try to follow Christ’s teachings… that is all it means- and I do emphasise TRYING to follow them. and it would also behoove people to remember that among those teachings is that we are not to judge others. Also among those teachings is that we have the opportunity to move forward from our mistakes- Christ died and rose again to make this possible and he would be much more disappointed to learn that one of his “followers” cried to learn that you were Christian, than to learn that you sometimes use the word ass…As a Mormon though(yes, we are Christians)- I will admit that I do wince a little whenever someone of my faith behaves badly, or more likely, acts like a wing-nut because then I’m all “great, now everyone will think that we are all like that”-
>I found your blog through Angie’s blog, and I love them both BECA– USE they are so different, but both so honest! I am proud to call myself a christian, not a “christian,” and I say “you GO girl!”
>I absolutely love this post.Steph
>we are all works in progress. God may not like some thing we do in our lives but I also think that we do things with the higher being helping us. I have had the last 9 months of struggle since losing my dad at age 39. He was not my biological father but that doesnt mean he was my dad. I got very sick in high school he took care of me. I also cant bring myself into church. I cant do conformed religion. I believe in god, i believe in jesus. I cant sit in a church with people who say they are christian but then judge you for not going every week,judge us for how we are dealing with our greif. I think god can hear us from however you are. I think our god is kind and compassionate one where we know we have done wrong and we are forgiven. I dont think we would have the words we do if they werent for us to use…Stay true to yourself and your writing lindsay that is why i LOVE your blog…
>Terrific post! Bravo!
>What an interesting thread.I’ve been reading you for a long time. I mean, I remember when Bruiser was born. I guess I thought that you have mentioned your faith at times in the past, so I’m not quite sure what all the fuss is about. I have always loved your authenticity and your sense of humor. And if we lived near each other, I’d totally want to be your friend. I was really interested to read your last post about this. In fact, I was just reading another blogger who posted about this same subject, although from a different point of view. You might enjoy it: http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/imonk-101-why-do-they-hate-usI'm a Christian. And I learn way more from my failures than I do when I do things right. I also really enjoy the variety of readers that you bring to this site. I think your honesty (and that of your readers) is so refreshing.And Kingdom Mama, thank you for your follow-up comments. I spend lots of time apologizing, so I admire your bravery in posting publicly.
>I’ve read a blog by a pastor’s wife, and an essay in the Washington Post by a former female evangelical minister. Both were taken to task, the wife for not being the proper stepford pastor’s wife, the minister for supposedly forsaking the wifely and motherly duties that a proper Christian woman would embrace.In both cases it was the female congregants who stood in judgment. It certainly seems to be a very un-Christian act to be judgemental.I know it’s hard not to take it personally, but you have to realize that these people are insecure, and they are trying to make themselves feel better at your expense.If I ever decide to pursue a relationship with god, it’ll be just between me and Him.I’m glad you church experience has been positive.
>I found you through Angie’s blog. I am also a “bible believing Christian” trying to follow what Christ has planned for my day to day life. (My blog also has bible verses on it and I’m married to a minister to top it all off!! HA:)) I am truly sorry that others have made such harsh criticisms and judgments towards you. Personally, I do not feel there is ANY place for that. What I find so inspiring about you is that you are, in your words, “pursuing an authentic relationship with God.” Nothing pleases Him more in my humble opinion. Your strength is equally inspiring to me– that you can tune these critics out and continue to pursue God for Who HE is, not who they are. I loved you saying, “Yeah! Finally! It’s out there! Now let’s see what I can do here!” That made me smile. I think you’re great and I have added you to my blog roll! 🙂 So all that said to say, keep your chin up and keep doing what you’re doing- because you’re on to something GREAT. Thank you for your transparency and honestly. I’ll keep tuning back in… 🙂
>It kills me to hear that the least accepting of people are the Christians. They somehow forget that EVERYONE’S WELCOME and NOBODY’S PERFECT! And if nothing else, they should know how messed up people can be (not to say that you are), people need to come down from the pedestal and take a good look at themselves to realize they’re no better than anyone else. I think you’re amusing, and truthful, and as long as you’re not worshiping SATAN, I don’t see what the big deal is
>Lindsey… oh my goodness…. you said everything I thought when I first read your blog… I linked to your blog through Angie and when I first saw it, honestly… my 1st thought was “why would Angie ask her faithful readers to link to something that said “ass” in the title block?” But you know, as much as I think I’m a Christian, how can I judge you… how can I sit here and judge you for something you say… not knowing what God is doing in your life… and MY life… in my life to humble me and change my heart about this sort of thing. And my 2nd thought was… how do I NOT know Angie will be an inspiration to Lindsey… I absolutely love your blog and love how you are so transparent… so very transparent to us all… may we all be like Christ and love everyone. I will still be your follower, not matter where you take us.
>all i can say is, i wish i lived in nashville so i could be friends with you guys too (can you tell i’m from the north?!). the stay at home life can be so hard with so many thoughts and struggles and few to process them with. thanks for your openness and honesty. it is great to hear about another’s struggles to understand “right” and “true” and “holy.”
>Human perfection is a myth. The sooner people can embrace that fact and be themselves, seeking improvement in those aspects of their lives they want and can achieve with whatever guidance — spiritual, if you will — they’re open to, the better off we’ll all be.Lindsay, for a ‘work in progress’, you do pretty well. I’m not inclined to think much of those who’d use a few of your so-called “flaws” to brand you a less-than authentic “Christian”; by that standard, I am a waaaaaay-less authentic Christian than you’d ever seek to achieve. But as I said in a prior comment on a related post, the God I believe in is more forebearing and forgiving than the God some profess to follow. I reckon all that matters is how He judges me in the end.Meantime, to each their own. When Judgement time comes, we’ll all answer up with no distinctions beyond that of how we lived our lives by the best standards we could.Don’t let a few of “them words” slipping out diminish the true gold than resides in your soul. There, you’re golden, Lindsay.And those who know you better than I ever will know that to be 100% true. ‘Nuff said.
>I’ve grown up in and attended church all my life. I’ve seen a lot of ugly stuff happen among Christian people, but I’ve never really let it discourage me. However, lately, I’ve met and become dear friends with several people who have been hurt, discouraged, and put-off by church and Christians. This has made me super-sensitive to the judgment and hypocrisy that we as Christians often offer not only to non-Christians, but to one another. The modern church resembles the Pharisees of old in that way much more than it resembles Christ. How sad. If only we could learn to put love first. One of the reasons I love to read your blog is because you are so open and honest and REAL. I don’t think any less of you at all for seeing the word “ass” in your blog. As a matter of fact, I think more of you because you’re not trying to be someone you’re not. Don’t change for anyone. Let Christ change you from within into who HE intends you to be!
>What an honest post! It’s extremely difficult for some new believers to approach a church of “perfect people”. But the truth is, none of us will ever be perfect. Thank God, He provided Christ’s perfect righteousness FOR us. As believers we are called to follow Jesus in all things but we each struggle with our own sin. I’m still struggling.
>Congrats to you. I understand both points of view. As for your previous posts and not necessarily being ones to be proud of. But that’s called growth. I too struggle with what it means to be Christan. As humans, we judge. Period. But good for you for keeping an open mind, including regarding comments, and looking at making your life the best it can be for you and yours.
>I’ll say it again…if you appeared to be a perfect model Christian it would be a lie. We should try to be Christ-like but we are all imperfect. If you appeared perfect, I would be too intimidated to ever comment on your blogs, much less regularly read your blog. Who wants to read about the perfect Christian all the time? I want something real…I want to know someone is like me, with the same eccentricities and flaws. Cursing will not get you your own personal room in Hell. And it’s certainly not like your cursing just for the sake of doing it.
>Wow. Possibly the best piece on religion I have ever read.
>A work in progress, indeed. We all are. Even those of us godless heathens.Thank YOU for not judging me and for being my friend anyway.
>Kingdom Mama, I appreciate your apology. I guess it’s hard for me to understand why you’d feel the need to say anything negative at all in a public forum about another person’s beliefs. Ever. Because you just can’t know what’s really going on with them, right? Beliefs are so personal. Anyway, it’s water under the bridge.I’m learning a lot from reading these comments. Every time I think I’m totally alone in what I’m thinking about or going through and I write about it, I find out I couldn’t have been more wrong. 🙂
>And mothergoosemouse, your kids can play with my kids any time. 🙂
>I don’t know if this is going to be deletable or not, but those comments reinforce all the negative connotations that people have about people that call themselves Christians.
>These have been awesome posts Lindsay, i struggle all the time with what I believe vs. what I write – and should I write about it. So I have found these past few posts very inspiring. I also want to thank you for introducing me to Angie’s blog which is so beautiful. She always seems to be writing just what I need to hear…
>I have read these last 2 posts with great interest because I am struggling with some of the exact same issues. But for me, I haven’t been drawn to the church or christianity(whatever that may be). I am not even sure what my beliefs are at this point. I won’t go into much more but I do appreciate your honesty. I wish I could be more transparent with my feelings and struggles but I have too many other things going on in my life (no job, umemployment running out soon etc etc) to have to defend myself to those who cannot accept my own journey.
>I just wanted to say that I found you after reading Angie’s blog. I am a believer and struggle every day with many things. I dont know why people think that believers cant associate with people that say things or do things differently. Isn’t that what Jesus did. I believe that it is part of my witness to be that way. So I am hanging out here no matter what you say! HA and HUGS!
>There seems to be a need by some Christians to categorize a person–are they “real” Christians, “backslidden,” “walking with the Lord,” “not walking with the Lord” etc? It makes Christianity seem more like a club where your membership depends on being sized up by others rather than your real relationship with Christ. I find it mind-numbing. I became a Christian at 9, I love Jesus, and I totally have a terrible potty mouth on my blog. I just love a well placed cuss word to emphasize my feelings. God knows this about me and seems to be pretty fond of me anyway.
>Bravo, bravo!! Keep doing what you are doing. Christ didn’t judge, so if they want to be “Christ-like”, we shouldn’t judge. We are all on different paths with different journeys.Keep the faith,Phil
>GAH. Honestly. That attitude infuriates me.At my sister’s wedding many of her church friends came up to my husband and I and said “Oh you are the Jews, we have been PRAYING for you for YEARS.”And I cried. At my sister’s wedding these people were finding my beliefs wanting. And trying to shame me. Since Christ himself was a Jew, somehow I doubt he would advoate the shunning of Jews.
>Seriously, Lindsay- you outdid yourself on this post. I love it. I’ve always seen you as a truly authentic person. You call it like you see it and that’s one of your many great qualities. Now- I have to go write a fabulous post to be worthy of the link!
>I read both your blogs on a daily basis. Obviously the writing style and content are different, but both blogs allow me to laugh, to cry, to praise God; whatever I find in that day’s post. As a Christian, I hope that I always show God’s love and grace to others, that to me is true Christianity and goodwill. I’m FAR from perfect. It makes me so sad that there are still people out there that will criticize others in their walk with their God. To me being a person of faith means more than just acting “Godly” it means actually being that messenger in what you do, say, mean, and think.
>I actually found you thru that very post on Angie’s blog! I LOVE YOU. You are awesome! All the more for your transparency in your posts. I also Love Angie’s blog. But to be completely honest, her devotion does kinda…. ummmm…. intimidate me. It certainly inspires me, but I am soooo much closer to being a “Lindsey” than an “Angie”. But in reality all I can strive to do is be the best “Gina” I possibly can… in God’s eyes.
>I haven’t commented, but I’ve been reading ever since Angie linked to you.I appreciate your authenticity. My dad is a pastor and SO often church members say things about other church members just like commenters said about you. The thing is — it’s not OUR job to convict someone of right/ wrong. A Christian’s job is to love them, show them who God is, and let the Holy Spirit do His job of convicting someone of sin. I HATE it when people try to take the place of the Holy Spirit.We’re all works in progress and God isn’t through with us until He comes back. So, you keep toughin’ it out with God and just let the comments roll off your back and remember that God isn’t finished with them yet either. :)God is perfect. Unfortunately, His followers aren’t.
>I think I was too cryptic in my last comment, I was trying to be nice to those commenters. Really trying hard to be nice. I’ve always thought your blog rocks and, I think that header photo kicks ass. Isn’t this one of those “Can’t we all just get along” moments?!
>I am confused as to why someone would think that God has given anyone the go ahead and pass judgment on someone else. I have been a Christian for 40 years. I don’t use profanity, I don’t drink and I dress modestly. I go to church and am pretty familiar with the Word. But I do overeat. I like a good gossip story as much as the next person. I can have a critical spirit and I can be ugly to my husband sometime. I admit to that only to say that what God sees in both of us is the blood of Jesus that covers all our sins. When the Holy Spirit gets a hold of YOU and starts convicting you and working on your potty mouth, you better set up and take notice. Just like when he pokes me in the rib and tells me to cut my husband some slack and treat him as Scripture instructs, I had better get my act together.Sin is sin. No ifs, ands or buts about it. We are all held accountable to God and to God only for our actions. I am glad that you have not let the “religious” keep you from pursuing your relationship with the Holy God. He can’t and won’t tolerate sin make no mistake about that. But it is His hearts desire that ALL would come to Him….isn’t that why he sent Jesus to die on the cross for us?Perhaps this whole experience will not only encourage you, but help those that felt free to criticize to grow in their walk as well.Now, I think I will go be nice to my husband and make him a snack, not complain that he didn’t take out the garbage like I asked and then go workout on the treadmill while not reading my People magazine!!
>I became a Christian at age 18 through Campus Crusade for Christ – and as liberal, open minded and loving as I consider myself to be, I *still* find myself trying to fit people into the “Perfect Christian Format” subconsciously. I try to make myself fit this mold, too. There isn’t one right way to be a Christian. A Christian woman doesn’t have to be Exhibit A or Exhibit B. I love that you know this already. I’d much rather be self aware and forgiving than close minded and cruel. God bless you this week, Lindsay.
>I’m confused. Why would a Christian ever be upset over finding another fellow Christian? So your words are good enough to be read by a Christian but yet not good enough to be written by a Christian? I am lost on that one…I must say this though, I love your blog…the witty stuff about your family and yourself that harm nobody. It’s good stuff. But, there have been posts that made me wince in pain at judgement passed on others. I have even posted my feelings about it at the time and was told basically to get a sense of humor and that this was a comic blog…or something along those lines. Bottomline is, making fun of or judging others is never a good thing…be it in fun or with hurtful intentions… Even with the posts I found less savory it has never been bad enough to make me not come back. Yet.I must ask though, are these religious blogs supposed to be comical and provoking in order to add Christians to your pissed list?
>I find it interesting that Kingdom Mama was disappointed to learn that you were a Christian after reading your blog for years. The implication is that all believers should be thumping their Bibles every time they have the opportunity. I am a Christian, but I rarely talk about my beliefs on my blog. Why? Because my relationship with God is personal. I bring up my faith when it is applicable to the story that I am telling, but otherwise I keep it private.While I do believe that God gives certain people a public platform to share their faith (like Angie Smith), I prefer to share my faith with people that God has placed directly in my life. It should be about relationships… our relationship with God and with others.For the record, my seven-year-old son is always quick to point out that the word “ass” is in the Bible.
>Long time lurker, first time poster: Thank you for sharing this. It all makes sense now. I found you through that exact same post on Angie’s blog and was surprised – I LOVE your blog. I love Angie’s but for different reasons. But honestly, I’m more at “home” here. I see myself here. I’m not in the sorority, I never have been, I never will, but not for lack of trying. I am a “Lindsey”, not an “Angie”. Everything you have posted the past few days (and the past related posts that I have linked to) has really hit home with how I have felt about things lately regarding Christianity.I am not AT ALL surprised that a few of Angie’s readers posted those things. For the few comments you received like that, how many more felt that way but didn’t comment? Probably many more. I understand they meant well but they don’t stop to think how they are coming across to people like you and me.I’ve lost a former good friend to that type of Christianity. The homeschooling, frugal, non-drinking type. Not that there’s anything wrong with choosing those things…. but making new friends and losing your former friends b/c they aren’t “Christian” enough is. Am I not good enough as I am? God made me this way. It’s the only way I know how to be.
>Hey Lindsay,I thought your post was brilliant. I thought you nailed it, as to how we “Christians” can be. I appreciate your honesty as you deal with life and yourfaith. I wish more “Christians” would say what they really think. I wish I could be as honest as you. You are a “work in progress,”and so am I. You tell it like it is and that is refreshing. I hope out of all this you draw closer to God. Maybe, if you act just right and post just the right things Angie and I will have you and your hubby over for dinner!Keep it up!!Todd Smith “The Christian Singer”
>Now THAT was good reading. Your blog is always great, but this was the best in a long time. I always hesitate to write anything spritual on my blog, because I just don’t feel like I’m knowledgeable enough to say what I really mean, without getting criticism for doing it wrong. Your post was beautiful. Only God knows our souls. And He loves it no matter what state of disrepair or indecision or traveling it is in.
>I’m one of those “someone’s” reading your blog that TOTALLY sees myself in what you are talking about and actually went to church for the FIRST TIME IN YEARS this week. I’ve been feeling like I miss church but more and more I’m realizing what I miss isn’t the judgment, holier than thou, reading-the-Bible-literally other Christians but the worship with God. Maybe I can find a church that doesn’t embody these things. Maybe I can’t. But I’m tired of letting other people keep me from seeking a spiritual relationship with God because of some of their one sided, not very “Cristian-like” beliefs. Thanks for writing what you did. It’s encouraging to know that all Christians are not as condescending, judgmental and mean as many (but NOT all) I’ve had the *pleasure* to meet in the past. Anyway, thanks ST Mom-Longing for Faith
>so this is what it feels like to be comment #94?!?!?!?good to know.hubbs just put in his 2 cents, but i can’t help but comment….because i am the perfect angie smith.aaahhh, yes. so together. so wonderful. so spiritual.so amazing that i have lost my temper about a thousand times today and i am laying in bed in tears because i feel like such a screw-up. and i am also perfect because i swore today (for the record, it was from a toe injury, which i believe God may give special grace for…..:))and furthermore, my house is trashed, my doubts and insecurities are dancing all around me, and believe it or not, i usually feel like “the girl who doesn’t quite fit the christian mold.” i didn’t become a christian until i was 25 because i was so turned off by the christians i had come into contact with, and then God opened a door and let me meet the real Jesus, and some of His true followers. and i LOVE Him, and them.like you, i found a church home that strives for authenticity over perfection, and after losing audrey, well, i had to either lean hard into Him or give it up.i’m glad i chose what i did, and i (like you) just keep trying to live it out in a way that will make Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”i adore you for exactly who you are, and if people on my blog criticized a woman who is searching for authentic relationship with God, they need to dig a little deeper into the Bible. because most of it is composed of people like me and you. you have a few “bowling words” on your blog. OK.you have a snarky sense of humor (which i love).you aren’t afraid to call ’em like you see ’em.you love the Lord.God put us three miles away to make a point, so often missed in this world….we’re a whole lot closer than we think:)you preached it, girl. so really, i should have just said amen.A-MEN.angie
>I’m sure that you know this, but not all Christians are judgemental and I hope and pray you meet a lot of great Christian friends. I am really glad that you feel God drawing you to Him. Usually the “Christians” that are so judgemental are the people that have issues to work on and take it out on everyone else, they are not the people we should be like or be around, but they are usually the most outspoken.
>WOW, WOW, WOW. I am so sorry that happened to you. Some people are just little minded people. And they make themselves feel better for thinking they are “better” than everyone else. Somedays, I would like a peek into their mind and soul and what would I find? You go missy!! I love love love Jesus, but I drink a little!!! You keep striving to be Christ like. Someday you will see Him face to face and it will all be worth it.
>Great post and I am so glad you wrote this. You need to be who you are and not be fake. None of us have it all together, none of us are perfect. We are ALL in our own stages of growth in our faith walk and no one has a right to judge anyone. I’m so glad that you met Angie, I’m a tad jealous though. There is something about her blog that makes God seem so real and tangible and I need that at times. I can only imagine what she is like in person. I hope you guys stay friends.
>I appreciate your honesty in sharing on here. While it is a desire to show Christ in everything we do, it is also nice to know that others share in the struggles and aren’t the “perfect little Christians” all the time.
>I think this is a great post. I’m sorry that you went through that hurt and I hope that you will find healing and emerge stronger on the other side of it.I understand your point and I agree 100%. God has big plans for you, just as He does for all of His children. And this blog has a big following, so you have the potential to reach thousands of people who wouldn’t otherwise consider Christianity. How amazing.But very unpopularly, I am also feeling some sympathy/understanding for the other commenter as well. I think it’s hard sometimes to know when and what to ‘stand up’ for, and this seems like a case of good intentions gone wrong.Often in the world we see a careless attitude toward religion, where a person might call themselves a Christian yet live a decidedly UN-Christian life. I do think it is important to take a stand and say sometimes that something is not ok, not right, not Christian. It’s hard to do sometimes (many times), but it is important.I am NOT in any way saying that about you or your blog (this is the part where I confess I have only read a handful of times so I don’t have the deepest perspective here I know). It’s just a point about life in general.As I said, I do not read here all the time so I don’t know the history about what you’ve written for years and what would be shocking about you stating you are a Christian. I just understand the need to state a strongly held unpopular belief sometimes, which sounds like what the other poster was trying to do.It sounds like she is genuinely remorseful and knows her comment was misdirected, and I think a LOT of women will learn something from your experience and your candor, which is always a wonderful thing. I think you have a great blog and a great style, and I believe that God is available to everyone who is seeking Him…no matter what you drink. 😉
>I found you through Angie’s blog. I am a Christian…just to preface so you know where I’m coming from.I have been one of those who has judged. So many times. So many people. Shameful.Just this last year God has brought me out of that mentality. Recognizing that it’s not about me and my opinion, it’s not even about you or anyone else…it’s about Him. I realize that He will do whatever it takes to turn the hearts of those that are His toward Him. So who am I to judge where someone is in their walk along this narrow road? Just by thinking that I have it all figured out proves that I don’t! I agree that we should let God be the judge and we should keep to loving people- Christian or not…the Bible says, “Love your neighbor as yourself”. The 2nd greatest commandment!!I truly hope that God uses you in so many people’s lives as He grows you and draws you closer. Thanks for the post…it’s very honorable of you. And for the record- I DO repent of judging!
>I love your honesty and transparency. You’re right, we are all works in progress.. even those ladies who left those negative comments on your page. My hope is that we can really call out this wrong thinking and that people would see the the wounds that they can cause with their words. The reality is that there is always going to be a “Christian” who thinks they are “saying the right thing” but are coming off as judgmental or critical but I always find that in times like that I ask myself, “Who am I following?” because sometimes it pushes us away from what we believe in. Although it can be hard at times, we can’t use these instances as excuses to turn away from God. I am glad that you are letting the positive outweigh the negative. =)
>Frankly, I consider you and Angie friends of mine. As totally weird as that might be. Friends stand by each other through thick and thin, there’s no room for judgement there. And I like your blog. And your header. And I like God too. I think that’s allowed ;)Keep it up. I’m a fervent supporter of yours.
>This brought tears to my eyes. I must admit to having some of the same feelings. I read your blog because I read Angie’s. I was disturbed by some of the language, and became upset that you call yourself a Christian. I left your blog quickly.Later, the Lord began to show me where I was wrong for judging you. It is not my job, or anyone else’s, to be the Holy Spirit for you. And now after reading this post, I am even more ashamed for having been so judgmental. I mean, I recently left my church of nearly 10 years because of people like that… and here I am acting no better.Though I never said or wrote anything about you or Angie for having befriended you, I am sincerely sorry for having had some of those thoughts. Please forgive me.I admire Angie for passing up the opportunity to look down her Christian nose at you. She has responded to your friendship as ANY true Christian should – with love, acceptance, and open arms.I am coming out of a season similar to what you mention you’re currently going through. God exposed my motives for serving Him… they were not pure. I was seduced by my desire to be part of a big church doing big things for God. For many years I mistook my service for Him as holiness. I was working with my hands but not my heart.Now I am on a journey to know Him. Not what others say about Him, but what He tells me about Himself through His Word. I admire you for not quitting, for continuing to seek Him, and for being honest about where you are in your spiritual life right now.Thank you for putting me and my hypocrisies in their place. I look forward to reading your blog regularly.
>Lady,you are beautiful the way you are- and becoming more beautiful on the inside by trying to find your Walk. I’m proud of you, and don’t let anyone get you down. I believe our job as Christians is to bring those who are lost, confused, or broken, to Christ- not run away because they don’t believe. What a horrible example that would be of His everlasting Love.Keep on Walking, girl!
>I found you through Angie's twitter, and I remember reading her account of meeting you a while back. I apologize if this comment duplicates others because I've not read the above posters.I've made my own mistakes and would say I'm not one to expect perfection in others, but then that would probably be me trying to make myself look good. I know I have my judgmental tendencies, too, and honestly it is hard for me to see past profanity used by anyone claiming the name of Christ. I know words "slip out" and the (my!) battle of thoughts is ongoing, but especially in the written medium it seems to be such an controllable choice that simple substitution could bring that much more glory to Christ–or, at least, eliminate that much distraction from Him. Maybe it is too legalistic, but when Christians seem disinterested in submitting their speech to higher standards, it makes me question the extent to which their heats & minds are subjected to Christ. I don't mean any personal offense, but hope you may see where I'm coming from.I feel like I've not clarified the issue at all but felt like commenting. Hope you find some encouragement through it all somewhere!
>one thing i have been convicted about recently is really not liking people who feel the need to patrol or correct others who THEY feel are not living as a “christian” should..since when did it become our responsibility? does masking it with God’s name make it right? If you look at the phrase “WWJD” {what would Jesus do} it wouldn’t add up. I wish self-proclaimed Christians would stop acting like Pharisees and reflect the God they claim.. The God of GRACE, LOVE and MERCY. The God who has told us to LOVE one another, to let HIM handle the judgment, etc..etc.. Back to why I am convicted, I am convicted because the same thing that absolutely disgusts me about that behavior is what I am in turn doing to them..It breaks my heart they can’t see past the exterior, that they feel the need to let others know they are wrong, they don’t see the damage they do, but at the very same time I am doing the same by not seeing the deeper pain, and insecurity that person is speaking out of.. I am not broken that they aren’t experiencing the GRACE that comes freely through Christ.. They can speak it, but is it in their hearts or just their mind? It’s not my business.. It’s between them and God.. What I wish they would act on is what I need to act on myself.. A true walk with God is intimate and personal, He cares about your heart first, and then your actions follow.. You don’t have to clean up your act to go to Him.. He takes you just as you are, and loves you..He handles the actions, overtime, he transforms the areas that may not reflect Him, but girl girl that process will still be happening when you are 90 years old.. I often feel further “behind” than I did when I first started my journey with Him.. I will NEVER be perfect, put together, or christian enough but what’s so amazing about God is that when I honestly run after Him, with my entire being,my imperfections, my struggles, my weaknesses,my sins He uses.. He redeems.. A well known Christian author once said the ONLY time we do not reap what we sow is when we step back and allow God to redeem it, and then it becomes beautiful, breathtaking, and exceeds what we could have ever done for ourselves.. You aren’t a second rate christian, I would be proud you link you if I had a blog, know what I have seen from Angie, I am sure she is too. You aren’t a “ministry”, from what I have read today, you are a minister.. Many will read and relate to this post, many I HOPE will see the responses and know that there are Christians out there that don’t judge.. We as humans are the worst representatives of who God is, we mess it up big time, for those who have felt that hurt and rejection, who have felt out of the club, or that they didn’t measure up.. I am so so sorry, and my prayer is that you will not allow those things to steal the joy, peace, and amazing amazing journey of walking with God.. Your authenticity is beautiful, thank you for sharing this journey with us.. It’s something I don’t take lightly, and its an honor to read and witness God’s work in your life and THROUGH your life.. He is using you, right now, as you are.. You are reaching more than those who judged you, and that’s not a judgment, that’s just the truth.. Read about Jesus, His ministry, see who He hung around with, how He responded.. You reflect that much more than you even know.. Those who use God’s word to reflect their own agenda don’t get it, and your response today, your ability to be gracious, to not heap it back on them is a perfect example of how God intended us to respond.. You have no idea the impact you’ve already had.. I pray God allows you to see a glimpse of what He sees in you.. It’s an honor to read your writings and it’s by no mistake you and Angie have crossed paths.. With love and immense respect,Emily
>we’re all a work in progress! what a great post. i’m glad you’re working on your relationship with God. it’s something we can all improve upon.
>What would jesus do? Jesus loved everyone, gave everyone a chance.
>You know what? I love your blog, your thoughts, your ideas and your views just they way they are. I wouldn’t change a thing about it because I wouldn’t change a thing about you! That’s God’s business…not mine. And for what it’s worth – I like your header photo…since when is a spaghetti strap tank top immodest attire? And you are rocking that ponytail! I’m a faithful reader of your blog AND Angie’s blog. Much love to you both!
>I am very “modest” in the way I dress, but I LOVE your blog header photo (very sexy! hehe) and the phrase with it just cracks me up!! You are spunky, that’s just who you are!! I find it really unfortunate that people who call themselves Christians would be so judgmental, but I’ve seen it time and time again. My best friend in high school was an atheist, but he would come to our weekly youth activities at church. I was a year older than him, so after I graduated HS I left the youth program, but he continued going to the meetings. I should mention that he always dressed in all black, had a hairdo like Davey Havok from AFI (and listened to lots of bands like AFI), and, well, looked a little scary. But he was well accepted in our church. However, when there was an activity at a different church building, he was told by a man that he should leave, because “you are a distraction to my daughters.”Needless to say I don’t think he will be joining our church anytime soon.
>THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!I struggle with openly speaking about my faith because I don’t want people to think I am one of “those” Christians and I also don’t want “those” Christians to start picking me apart because it seems like once they “know” you are all of the sudden expected to be perfect. ::sigh::I swear, I smoke, I lose my temper with my daughter, I gossip, the list could go on and on. But you know what? At the beginning of the day, while I sit out on the balcony in the cold morning air, I tell myself and in my mind ‘ask’ God, “Today will be a good day.” Then, at the end of the night, I sit out in the cool night air, again on the balcony, and thank God for the good and the bad, and I ask Him to forgive me for my lack of patience and other indiscretions.NO ONE IS PERFECT AND GOD DOESN’T EXPECT US TO BE! Reading this post made me want to cry, I wanted to cry because I could relate to your pain on such a deep level. It felt like I was reading something I had written. And people need to realize that because it is written on the internet instead of said in person does not make it hurt any less. Keep on doing you, we all have things to work on, that’s just life.P.S. I am SO jealous that you live so close to Angie! Her blog warms my heart and inspires me to try harder.
>Hey Lindsay,Let me give you a very spiritual response and apologize for all the bumheads (it’s our family “swear” *gasp*) who feel free to judge. Then I guess I gotta acknowledge a. the inherent judging in that statement and b. that God loves everyone – even the bumheads. Earlier in my life, I was the judger, just like ’em. Then I was the judgee. Now I’m just trying to live my life and do what I’m told…Jesus IS the boss of me!! Grace is a big word, and receiving it comes with great responsibility (grasshopper). Including extending it. Which ain’t as easy as it sounds. Keep looking to God for it all and you’ll be ok. Really, isn’t HIS opinion the one that counts? And because I’m such a loser and can’t figure out this whole posting deal and you should be able to respond if you want, my e-mail is mrschangstein@telus.net
>well I wish I had time to read all 114 of the previous comments, but I gotta get to bed. Still, I wanted to say a few things. 1. I used to read your blog regularly about 2 years ago when my little one was up all hours nursing. 2. Now I’m addicted to Facebook and wish I never had to sleep. ha! So, in my regular procrastinating of the going-to-bed thing, I checked out a few ‘old’ blogs and saw yours (love your new pic, btw). 3. I’m SO proud of you for searching for God’s purpose for your life. Your blog today will hopefully touch the hearts of those who criticized you on Angie’s page.4. I’m also one of these people who will hopefully be one of God’s little miracles associated w/ today’s post, b/c I am a totally inactive, backslid Christian who really needed to read something like this tonight. 5. so, thanks.
>I’m so sorry that those women hurt you! It’s very sad when God’s “children” are the very reason that others don’t follow Him. Just know, that the Father is PERFECT and sometimes His followers aren’t a very good representation of Him. I know this isn’t the case, but I hope that no “Christian” ever steers you away from the Lord, who loves you unconditionally.ps. YOU LUCKY GIRL FOR MEEING ANGIE!!!
>Thanks for writing this. Too many “christians” judge and are cruel. Thanks for being real and sharing where you are in your life! 🙂 I think I’ll start following your blog!!
>We are ALL a work in progress. I admire you for putting it all out there – something I’ve been wanting to do but haven’t figured out quite… how. It’s sad to me that others are questioning your “brand” of Christianity. We are all children of God and I believe he does have a plan for each of us, and good for you for being open to that.Jesus didn’t promise it would be easy.
>I love your blog and clearly you are a good person and a human. I am always bothered by the use of terms like “Christ-like” and “model of Christ” which I find completely audacious and presumptive. We can only be students. The Christ I know walked among sinners and loved and accepted them. What we should aspire to is being a good-person not a God-person. We are not here to judge each other. We are here to love and care for each other. If faith divides us it is because we have learned little from Christ.
>I think this verse speaks to you well. Keep writing. I love your blog and shame on me for cringing now and then 🙂 because you rock! Our imperfections are so much more evident when we start throwing stones.If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with God’s household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 1 Peter 4:14-17
>I think this verse speaks to you well. Keep writing. I love your blog and shame on me for cringing now and then 🙂 because you rock! Our imperfections are so much more evident when we start throwing stones.If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with God’s household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 1 Peter 4:14-17
>I don’t believe in God. I first said that out loud less than a year ago, because I was afraid that people who do would condemn me. Some have. Some have judged me. My friends (many of whom are devout Catholics), shrugged and said they’d known how I feel for years, and they still love me. All my best to you while you make your own road. Big hugs – and thanks for sharing with us.
>I linked to your blog because of Angie’s blog and I am SO GRATEFUL that I did. You are a tremendously talented writer and it’s so cool that you’re talking about religion with the same candidness that you talk about everything else. Anyone that says they haven’t struggled with the same issues you have are aren’t being honest with themselves or anyone else. And I would like for anyone to name one Christian who hasn’t used profanity at one point or another. There is no perfection – that got lost at original sin. It’s awesome to be yourself, admit your faults, ask and accept forgiveness, and move forward. I think that’s the whole point. If I dwelt on my continuous mistakes, I would just give up and that’s exactly what we are NOT SUPPOSED TO DO!
>Hi. I’ve never read your blog until today. I, too, am a Christian, and it bothers me to no end that so many Christians seem to forget that Jesus sat with, ate with, witnessed to, and was always with sinners (and that would include me had I been around when he was walking this earth physically) and that we so easily judge. I am guilty of it myself, but I try so hard to pray for others instead of judge them. it’s not my place, no one will stand before me one day in judgment, so with that thought, I just try to pray and I will pray for your journey. I am so glad you found Angie and she found you. I know it was all a setup by God Himself. blessings to you and I will be praying for your journey.
>Have you ever considered that perhaps your relationship with the one you call God has nothing to do with Christianity? I think sometimes people think they can’t just have God, it has to be within the prescribed confines of a religion. The women you’ve described are exactly Christian. They are, by the precepts of their religion, required to question and call out and call to repentance and all of that crap. I love reading your blog, I’ve loved it for a long time, and I’m so against Christianity that I would cry at your admission, too- only for a different reason. However, I don’t cry, and I’m not really like that. I would absolutely beg you to consider that perhaps a relationship with God doesn’t have to have anything to do with that self-righteous, must-preach-to-the-world crap called Christianity. Just being honest.
>This was so beautiful and powerful, I’m afraid to add to it.All I will say is this: once every other month, I visit with people who worship Christ with a sincerity I can’t help but be moved by. They exhibit Christ-like qualities that put mine to shame. They are so mature in their walk with Christ, I literally see Him through them.Yet, they welcome me, they call me brother, they invite me to worship with them.These people are not at some gilded, flashy church. They are stuck behind bars and barbed wire in prison.I do not know what these men did to get in there, and when I get to worship with them, I don’t care. Seeing the Holy Spirit with my own waking eyes in that place is enough to make me bow down in humility.I tell you this not to toot my own horn (visiting the prison is not my service, it is a service to me), but to tell you that you – as you are – are an incredibly powerful witness. Don’t ever forget that. As I recall, Jesus has a special place for those who, though imperfect, earnestly seek Him. He is not quite so warm and fuzzy with those who see themselves as already righteous.Bless you.
>Thank you for the reminder. There is no perfect Christian. That’s why we are Christians, we know that we need CHRIST. We all struggle in different ways, some more public than others. God uses each of us in different ways. I truly believe that God has some wonderful things in store for you. Thank you for being you.
>I think that those comments from those women just reaffirm what you’ve come to realize in the past year: your relationship with God should be about you and God, not about other people. Sometimes I wonder if people like those women realize that they drive people away? I know there is this whole trend towards atheism or agnosticism in the past twenty years with fewer and fewer younger people especially calling themselves Christians. When you talk to people in their teens, 20s, 30s, about why they left the church, a lot of them will talk about the broken religious “system.” We grew up in churches with people like these women taking it upon themselves to judge. Somehow people believe that the more perfect they can live their lives the more right they have to call themselves Christian and berate others for their choices… when really that is so un-Christ-like to do. Did Christ only surround himself with the faithful and perfect? Or did he strive to help those most in need, those struggling for faith? I am a Christian, but I do not go to church. I pray daily and I have a relationship with my God… but I do not need other people telling me how I should be living my life.
>So, I was very encouraged to read this post. I am an avid follower of Angie’s blog, and I did link over to your site when she posted. I won’t pretend I didn’t notice a difference, but I will say that didn’t stop me from reading your story and laughing at you wit. This post actually reminded me that life is not always about me. I think I (along with others apparently) struggle with judgment because we think that sins are on a gradient. They aren’t. One woman’s choice consider herself better than ANYONE by judging them (vocally, no less) is no better than a “cuss” word. We are all fallen. Realizing that helps me remember that I am not part of a magic club. And I must confess that I subconciously operate that way sometimes. Your authenticity and true desire to seek God is so inspiring. I am sorry for my attitude. Although I have never posted a word, who know how many people I have turned off in the past! I am so convicted over my attitude. Thank you for your heart and you post. It has allowed me to live today in a way that I hadn’t been living before. 🙂 P.S. I thought I’d add my voice that your picture is way cute and not at all immodest (even in my snobby “Christian” brain). And I also MUST say that I absolutely LOVE your wedding pictures. 😀
>Girl, we are ALL a work in progress, no matter who we are. Bless your heart for being brave and authentic, something that many of us Christians are afraid to do. This is the first time I have read your blog, but I can promise you this– it will NOT be the last.Keep writing! I appreciate you as my sister in Christ! ~Rachel
>Linked here from Angie’s. I am sorry you had a bad experience with some commenters. My heart goes out to you and I pray God continues to reveal HIS truths to you, and that this situation becomes a stepping stone in your life.I have one question for you (this may sound harsh, and maybe even a bit cliché, but it is NOT NOT NOT meant to be, it is hard to inflict emotion into keystrokes) – at the end of the day, what matters more – what other people think? or what God thinks?? I stick with what God thinks and the others – let them eat cake!!!I am proud to call myself a God-loving, God-fearing, Christian and I live my life according to the convictions GOD has placed on my heart, not how other people think I should live. I am not perfect, and my mother reminds me of this fact daily!! 🙂 But at the end of the day, when I get alone with my Father He is faithful to remind me that HE LOVES ME! I belong to Him and nothing can change that. I fail him time and time again, but He continues to love me! One of my favorite preachers/teachers is James MacDonald (I encourage you to check him out if you don’t know who he is). He once said something so extremely profound that I have posted it in several places of my house and at work. He said:”Even the donkey knew that the palm branches and the blankets were for the person on his back and not for him. It isn’t for me that I do these things, Lord, it is for you!!”You said:”Unfortunately, remarks made by a few CAN have the power to make a person want to give up on religion altogether. I don’t think some Christians realize that. I think they believe they’re doing us all a service by telling us what we’re doing wrong.”Yes, some Christians are like that. But I can honestly say that most are not. Try not to let them discourage you from seeking God – I know it is hard, I have been there myself. But it is nothing more than the devil trying to pull you away from God’s truths. We may receive hundreds of compliments, but the one or two negative comments always steal our joy. STEAL IT BACK!!My prayers are with you!!
>This makes me so sad! We should be lifting people up instead of bringing them down. We get attacked enough by non-Christians. We don’t need more. What I do know is that whatever trials there are, God is there to pull us through and I, for one, am glad you have Him to do that for you.
>I personally think that God is much more interested in what we DO than what we SAY. 🙂 Love your blog, which I found via Angie’s. There’s an email joke circulating about a woman who gets stuck behind a guy who stops at a yellow light. She honks and yells at him for holding her up. A policeman witnesses this, and pulls her over. The joke is… he thinks the car must be stolen since there is a “WWJD” bumper sticker, fish symbol, pro-life sign..etc.People who ACT like that are what keeps many from church! Great job putting it out there…
>I became a Christian three years ago at the age of 30. Why did I wait so long? Pretty much the same things you mentioned. I felt in my heart that I was ready to have the relationship with God, to grow in Him. But I wasn’t ready to be like the other “Christian women” I saw parading around town with their bibles in one hand and their perfect children in the other hand. It was very intimidating! Now three years later, though I am still not “there” (whatever “there” is), I am more comfortable being around women like that. You see the enemy lies to us constantly. He reminds us we’re imperfect. (Only God is perfect!) He tempts us to sin and then uses that against us by making us think we can’t be close to God because we’ve sinned. EVERYone sins. No matter how “Christian” people claim to be, especially when they’re judging someone else, THEY SIN TOO. No human is without sin. That means Christians too. Christians sin! Every day! The difference with Christians is that we’re forgiven for our sins. I don’t know where my point is in all of that. I go to bible study and belong to a mom’s group at my church. There are unfortunately some women there that do still intimidate me because they seem to portray that whole picture of what some think a Christian woman should be. Quiet, soft, always quoting scripture, never voicing her opinion. That’s so not me. I’m loud, very opinionated, I don’t go around bragging about how many verses I know and I feel uncomfortable praying out loud. :)I’m sharing this only because I stayed away from Christianity for years because of people like whom you described. People who made me think I wasn’t worthy to walk in Christ. I saw how Christians judged each other, not just me, and I didn’t want any part of it. Thankfully I have learned that when it comes to my relationship with Jesus, it’s just Him and me. Those times when it seems like the entire world is letting you down, my God is constant and never leaves me. Don’t let the enemy use the judgement from Christians to keep you from continuing your journey, wherever it may lead you. :)PS I followed Angie’s link to your blog and have been reading every since. Love your humor. 🙂
>Wow girl! I stumbled upon your blog from twitter and what you wrote broke my heart more than a little…So sorry that happened.God DOES celebrate every small victory with us as we move along this journey – and I think he not only wants authenticity from us, but he loves it when we are real with the world.I’m a big fan of Jesus…but sometimes his peeps piss me off! That being said, thanks for being part of this unhealthy and dis-functional “family” that is all related through Christ – even when some of the siblings are mean!God bless em…then mean well, but Jesus himself didn’t have much good to say about the religious folks either – and he hung out with some pretty salty people!I’m really glad I found you….keep being who you are.
>Thank you for being open and honest. I’m a Christian, go to church every Sunday, actually prefer Christian radio stations (unless someone else is playing some awesome ’80’s music) and strive every day to be who God made me to be. But you helped me realize why, in a year at our current church, I haven’t even tried to make any friends or go to classes or join groups. I don’t like being naked. I don’t want people to know my past because I’ve been in churches and had friends before that find out your past and slowly let the friendship die. I don’t want that hurt anymore so I just don’t make friends at church. Thank you for being real.
>I believe that Jesus is the son of God, he came from heaven to earth, he lived a perfect life, died on the cross TO PAY FOR MY SINS, rose from the dead and lives in heaven now offering us the free gift of eternal life. I have been saved by God’s grace and his blood. I am not saved because of my good works or deeds, I am not saved because of who I am or anything I could do. It is because God had mercy on me and saved me. Praise be to Him!!!Do I stumble? Yep every day. Do I curse, yep that darn word flew out of my mouth when I dropped the mayo jar on my foot this morning. Am I still saved? ABSOLUTLY! Is my shirt a little too low cut today. I don’t think so but, my mom probably does. I am an imperfect person living in an imperfect world who had been made clean and whole by GOD! I am a new creation that is a work in progress everyday and there is nothing that I can do or that anyone else can do to take me from the hand of God. It is his grace that sustains me, it is his grace that gives me life and it is by his grace that I have been saved. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are not a Christian because of how you dress, act, or speak. They need to understand that if not for the GRACE of God they could be the person that they think is going to hell! If you have asked Jesus to live in your heart, asked him to forgive you of your sins and you have given your life to him then you are a Christian and heaven will be full of people just like you and I who will get there by his grace. PRAISE BE TO GOD!!!Khristy ParhamCentral SCPS if you have time and you want to, check out my churches website. It is full of imperfect people like me who seek to know Jesus more. http://www.newspring.cc
>Wonderful post. I love your raw honesty. May God bless you this week!
>We’ve been in limbo with our religious choices for about a year – and I am always shocked when people are so quick to offer their opinions about it! We were at a party with friends (who we haven’t seen in over 5 years) last weekend and I mentioned that we did not have our kids in religious ed classes at all this year – and the woman basically told me “you HAVE to put them back in”! – made me want to keep them out for another year just to piss her off!
>Hello! I read Angie’s blog, but had not yet come across yours. I think that it is so great that you are sharing your journey with Christ through this. All of us struggle and all of us are sinners. I love the fact that you are completely honest about your imperfections instead of acting like you are perfect or better than anyone else. Our job as Christians is to love everyone, not to judge or condemn them, and I am so sorry that there are people who are doing just that. Thank you for your honesty and I will pray for you and your journey with Christ!
>I am a christian,have been one forever…I feel as if people “christians”forget we are not to JUDGE!!! It is not our place!!! I am sorry that people,I mean christians,forget that! Your blog rocks!!!!
>love, love, love this entire post…except where you happened to quote the ‘church ladies’!I heard someone say the other day “My first name is not Holy, my last name is not Spirit; I can’t judge your motives!” I hope I can remember that simple phrase for the rest of my life!!!Glad to hear that God is drawing you closer to His heart, Sister!Pamela in TX
>I am just an imperfect Christian sending you some love on a Thursday morning…..Have a wonderful and beautiful day.Warmest Regards, Gina
>Has anyone heard of Grace? We are not perfect people or there would be no need for a Saviour….we all face challenges every day and no one if worse than the other. We are living for Him not man. May God’s blessings pour out on you and your family. Have a wonderful rest of the week and weekend. Much love!Me’Chele-Indiana
>Oh, I feel for you so much. I’ve been a minister’s wife for 15 years and have much more in common with you than with the “sorority” of which you speak. I’ve given up trying to hide my imperfections–it’s too hard to try to keep up that show. I’ve been on both the giving and the receiving end of those types of judgmental comments (told you I was imperfect) and I’m not sure which made me feel worse–knowing I’d hurt someone, or being hurt. I think your commenter was trying to encourage you to be “better,” but risked pushing you away from God instead of toward Him. That’s why so many turn away from faith–someone says something hurtful, and they blame God instead of the person. I’m glad that you can see that God accepts you right where you are–he REJOICES when you call yourself a Christian!
>I’m sorry others felt the need to pass judgement on you. That’s God’s business. Not ours.Don’t let others turn you off of God. Press into Him to find what He has planned for you.
>I think everyone should be able to have their own unique relationship with God without being judged by others. I just love it when people point out what good Christians they are and then go on to bash and judge others…yeah, Jesus would be proud!Julie
>Here is an article that I thought was related to what your dilemna. Please get past the initial “the is anti Christianity” reflex and read the article. : )http://www.csmonitor.com/2009/0310/p09s01-coop.html
>Thanks for NOT being perfect or even pretending to be so. I am an avid reader of Angie’s blog and somehow JUST found yours!! I think I am really going to enjoy reading as you figure out life and religion (as I am still trying to figure it all out myself). LC
>I am learning more by reading all these profound and hearfelt posting than years of bible verse. Thanks.
>Sweet Lindsey, I cried for you today… do not ever think that you should not label yourself as a “Christian”… you are an honest “Christian”. That is something I am striving for everyday, and you know what, I don’t always succeed. Does that make me less than? No, like you, I am a work in progress and it is not my work that needs to be done, but the work of the Lord through me.
>trying to type last comment one handed as two year old was hanging on other one. hopefully you get the gist.
>I think you are exactly right. I believe those people who are judging you for “profanity” (ass is in the Bible) and/or subject matter are taking a legalistic approach to Christianity which, from my experience, is everything BUT Christ-like. Have you ever heard of Mark Driscoll? He’s a pastor in Seattle and is known as the “cussing pastor”. He has been criticized relentlessly about his use of profanity and the subjects he teaches on by many top pastors in our country, but he has this incredible ministry that is bringing thousands to Christ. Personally, he is one of the best speakers I have ever heard. You should read his book “Radical Reformission”. He talks about ministering in places where some “Christians” would never be caught dead. And you know, Jesus didn’t exactly hang out with all the other Christians. He was out there with the tax collectors and prostitutes. I beleive your blog can be an amazing example of Christ. THROUGH your use of the occasional bad word and your willingness to talk about REAL things, you could draw in people who would never in their life click on a “Christian” blog. Keep doing what you’re doing! God can use you in mighty ways!
>Came here from a tweet from Angie- and honey, we’re all works in progress. Even the ladies who left those comments. I’m sorry you were hurt, and I’m proud of you for taking time to truly seek what God wants for you in your faith. And I’m glad that you have Angie as a friend- what a neat relationship! God truly works in mysterious ways. 🙂 🙂 🙂
>Amen Sister!
>I am christian. Those kinds of women are the reason I stopped attending church. Didnt Jesus hang out with the sinners and tax collectors?
>Well said. What makes us Christians is not that we are perfect, it is that we have Christ in us who helps to make us a little more like Him every day. None of us are perfect. WE ALL STRUGGLE WITH SOME SIN IN OUR LIVES. I struggle with profanity sometimes, but it doesn’t make me love my Jesus any less or Him love me any less. God does not give our sin(s) a level of badness. A sin is a sin, and none of us are without them. Thank you for being honest with us. Keep it up!
>In treating others as Christ would, it is our job as Christians to accept you as you are. (If I knew how to underline that I would). Do not stoop to the level of those condescending women by judging them too. They are blinded by their own insecurities and preconceived notions, but all the same we should love them as they are. On another note, I have had people curse while telling me a story at church-gasp. These were godly women who were just telling a story. The words you use do not make you less of a person, less of a Christian or more for that matter. Your words reach your audience. I am a sinner, you are a sinner, the entire world sins. We all fall short but that doesn’t change our love for the Lord.
>When my husband and teenage son began watching a TV show called “Dog, the Bounty Hunter”, I was appalled! This big-breasted woman, long-haired, tattooed man, and lots of bleeped-out words filled the TV screen. Then I found myself listening closer, and watching…now count me in as a Dog fan! These people are out to make a difference in the lives they touch. Yes, they use profanity. Yes, she dresses immodestly…but what I am saying here is that we ALL have areas we need to clean up, areas that do not measure up, and things we may like to change but don’t have it in us to change. I don’t exercise and I eat too much of the wrong food. That is just as wrong as using foul language, or any other ‘social’ sin. I am not giving any of us an excuse to live a lifestyle of sin. My sin is evident to anyone who meets me – I am overweight. Yours can be covered by simply watching what you say and pulling your blouse up. We are real people trying to get through this time in the world in our earth-suits. Where are our hearts? I love what you said about the heroes of the Bible. Many of them committed sin, BIG sins, according to our human scale of grading sin. I think our walk is a journey; we are to conform to the image of Christ. I think this conforming takes a lifetime. Thanks for your honesty and transparency. God bless you for the lives you touch!
>I also found your blog through Angie’s and since then I have been a faithful reader. I think is great and I love your sense of humor. Your response to those commenters is great! We are all works-in-progress.
>First time to read your blog. THANK YOU! You put into words what I have been feeling for a very long time. It’s like I feel intimidated by those type of Christians, when I know that I shouldn’t be! I think that they are the ones who are just beginning in their journey with God, not you (or me!). Stay true to yourself and I believe God will lead us all in the right direction, if we let Him in our hearts.
>Just came across your blog and LOVED this post, so very true and really resonated with me, thank you!!!! :o)
>Thank you for writing this post, Lindsay. I am one of the Christians who found you through Angie, and I will tell you with complete and total honesty I never judged you for the things you wrote – never even crossed my mind to do so. And it REALLY never crossed my mind to judge Angie for being your friend!! The thought! My goodness.Lindsay, you are an imperfect sinner, just like I am an imperfect sinner, and JUST LIKE ANGIE is an imperfect sinner. I understand it being difficult to see somebody like Angie like this (I have a hard time not questioning my faith when I read about her amazing faith) but I know she doesn’t want that from her friends and readers. We MUST avoid putting people on pedestals and turn our eyes to the One who is perfect and who can change us.You’re a work in progress (me too!). Good for you.
>This so much reminds me of Angies “In Between” Post from a while back. Only she talked about nice jeans and coach purses instead of swear words and tank tops. I just want to say that I’ve been struggling with this same issue recently as I desire to find my way back into a church family and a more personal relationship with God. I had the same experiences in highschool with those judgmental christians and I’ve been skeptical ever since. I’ve always said that pursuing a relationship with God should never make you feel bad about yourself. It IS PERSONAL and individual to each person. I sincerely believe that if you’re walking with HIM he could care less what TV shows you watch, what brand of jeans you wear or if you said “ass” today. And the fact that I just “stumbled” across both of your blogs in the last few weeks just as BOTH of you began to raise this issue shows that you have not suffered in vain. 🙂
>I found your blog through Angie’s and I’m planning on being a regular reader, I’m christian and I’m sure there are some people (maybe many) who would put that in italics when referring to me too. I love Christ, but why pretend I’m perfect when He and I know that’s not the case.
>I started reading your blog a few months before I started reading Angie’s about a year ago. I am a firm believer in Jesus Christ. A lot of “believers” like to make judgments on other people because of their own issues with themselves. I have friends like that. It’s easier to see someone else’s “sin” than their own. It’s as if they are closer to the Lord if they are judgmental. You just have to ignore it. At the end of your life it’s between you and the Lord. You know what His word says, you know how you’re supposed to live. It’s your choice, He gives us free will. If you’re living the way you feel you should, then no one should be judging you because it’s between you and the Lord. The judgment of others will also be between them and the Lord one day.
>I received this as an email a few times and have kept it to look at from time to time when I run across people like the commenters. I hope this encourages you as much as it has encouraged me! Just keep the faith!!When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not shouting ‘I’m clean livin” I’m whispering ‘I was lost, Now I’m found and forgiven.’ When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I don’t speak of this with pride. I’m confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide. When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not trying to be strong. I’m professing that I’m weak and need His strength to carry on. When I say.. ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not bragging of success. I’m admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess. When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not claiming to be perfect, My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it. When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I still feel the sting of pain.. I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name. When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not holier than thou, I’m just a simple sinner Who received God’s good grace, somehow!
>You wrote “I had to include them [the nasty comments] in this post because I don’t think these women realize that their words are exactly the kind of thing that hold people like me back from even attempting to follow God or attend church.”That saddens me to no end. There is not one person in this entire family that has at one time not struggled or made the wrong decisions. And if they say they haven’t, then I would venture to say they are either lying or do not have an authentic relationship with Jesus- because we can be fake all day long and act like we have it all together, but what good does it do our relationship with the One that sees our every thought? He knows then that we’re liars and are using His name in vain, and it undermines the very thing He’s trying to do in us! Yet God grants grace and mercy to Every Single One of Us. Who appreciates His grace more? The one who receives the most. I truly think that if we are God-loving women that honestly want nothing more than God, we won’t be writing mean comments to women that are pouring their hearts out. We will offer love. And if we don’t, then the first thing we should do is look in that mirror and figure out why. Because in that very moment we have gone completely against all that God has called us to do- love one another. I’m sorry. I know I’m rambling and probably making no sense at all. I have just been SO bothered by the tremendous amount of hypocrisy in the church lately!! I just had my women’s retreat this weekend and I was shocked at the things I heard and saw- women sleeping in the hall because their roommates didn’t want them in there- yet the next day worshiping God and putting on that smile. I am just so sad by it all. And we need to change. Because whether you had spoken about it or not Lindsay, you are sadly not the exception. There is far, far too much of this going on and we have spent way so much time trying to please everyone around us (a lot of times even in ministry), and have forgotten that we are reflecting Jesus to everyone we meet. We talk about spreading the word of God around the world, yet don’t even do it in our own church. I am so sorry this happened and I am so thankful for your honesty. I know God is using you when you open up like this! Love Melody
>This is a wonderful post – you are on quite a roll lately! Wow. I vote for the donkey on the header, btw.
>I love it…you are exactly right. We can’t even presume to know what God might be doing in you and through you. Somewhere along the line, Christianity got very caught up in religion and forgot the relationship part. I came over and started reading your blog after reading Angie’s…and I applaud you for being real. If we ever hope, as a body of Christ, to break through the stereotypes about Christians and the Church today, we need a good dose of being real and authentic and breaking down those walls of “being perfect” which lead us to judging people. I’m looking forward to hearing about your journey. Keep it up.
>Wow, there is some major commenting going on here! I have lost friends in my life because I am not the model of Christian that they think I should be. Friends who before finding Jesus did many unspeakable things. We went to school together, were in the same Youth Group. Went to retreats together. And as our High School/College years wore on. They decided they were BETTER than me, and didn’t want to be associated with me. Not once did I ever stop being Christian because of them. But I wonder, how did they know that by deciding I wasn’t as good as them, and dropping me as a friend. Refusing to answer my calls. Still wont make eye contact with me if they see me at Walmart. How did they know that maybe through THEIR actions I stopped believing. Many Christians need to watch how they act towards and treat others. And that’s what I’m seeing going on through this post. That being said, I am so pleased that you made friends with Angie. I have never read her blog, but intend to today. She is truly a woman with a beautiful heart. And the model of someone whom knows how to show God’s Love.
>Thank you for writing this! I read Angie’s blog (LOVE her) and found yours on it. I immediately appreciated your honesty and transparency! I love my Lord, Jesus Christ, while all the while am soooo imperfect! I attend church regularily, lead a women’s bible study and at the same time, in times of frustration can be heard slipping up and dropping the f-bomb. I am a work in progress. I am imperfect. I believe that Jesus loves me through it all. The only perfect person to ever walk this earth was Jesus Christ himself – and what a relief because I know I will not/can not ever be perfect.I admire your honesty and totally agree that you will be able to draw people to the Lord because of your own set of circumstances. There is no condemnation through Christ – remember that!!!!!! God bless you!
>Shoot! I was under the impression that “us” Christians are forgiven. Not perfect.*Off to check my Bible!;}That being said, I am thrilled to have you as a sister in Christ and to know that you are seeking His word and will for your life.Di
>Amen, sister! Jesus didn’t hang out with perfect people, he hung around sinners because they needed him the most. We all sin and we all fall short. It’s only by grace we’ve been saved.
>I haven’t read everyone’s comments, don’t actually have that much time on my hands However, I just wanted to say, please DON’T stop writing about religion. I am a “Christian” (whatever that really means in the world today) and even a worship pastor’s wife and I honestly struggle with a lot of the same things that you do. I found your blog through Angie’s and I linked to it when I didn’t even know you were a Christian. I thought your blog was hilarious and I loved how honest you were. (The first few blogs I read were about your trip and how you were having stomach issues on the plane and while you were there – totally laughed so hard!) Just ignore the judgmental people who cry when they find out you are a Christian. If I may be so bold to say, I feel like you are trying to be more like Jesus than they are. I am sure the only tears Jesus shed when you turn to him are tears of joy and NEVER EVER tears of shame. Ever. I am fairly certain (for how much he actually talks about it) that he is not super fond of judgers. That’s all I have to say about that;)
>I “met” you when Angie linked to you and I didn’t think anything terrible about your posts.You write what I would probably write, if I still blogged. I had a similar problem to what you’re talking about in this post, and I shut it down because I didn’t feel like, at the time, that my relationship with God could withstand such an attack because I went through the same type of attack by “Christians” in my home church when I was a teenager. Maybe my perspective will help?I was very angry with God in my 20’s, and that anger is still there, to some extent. I did come to the realization, however, that I put too much emphasis on looking at others and not at Christ. How dare other people who think they are Christians to judge me by their standards? They dare because either (1) they are convicted by my life and they are trying to quiet the conviction, or, as you mentioned (2) God is trying to say something to me. All Christians, the real ones and the fake ones, need to understand that there is only one path of Salvation and walking with Jesus, it just looks different to each of us who walk the road with Him because of our individual life experiences. None of us are perfect, and we’ve got all “beams” in our eyes that need removing.I am grateful you are willing to share that struggle with the world. That’s a very brave thing to do. The Lord is the same today as He was yesterday, and He loves you right where we are, no matter how imperfect. What counts is that we are not content in our imperfectness, and I see that in your writing. God bless you as you travel Life with Him!
>I have not read the other comments, so I apologize if I’m repeating what others have said, but God does not judge a person to be good or bad. We are all his children. Therefore, others should not judge you to be “christ-like” or a “good” enough Christian. You, individually, choose to have or not have a relationship with God and it’s no one else’s business what goes on between the two of you. If you haven’t already, I recommend you read “The Shack”. It was a great book and it’ll clear up a lot of misconceptions people have about God.
>You’ve done it again. You made another grown woman cry – but this time they are tears of joy.I can just picture God giving Jesus a high-five over you calling yourself a Christian. Everyone is at a different level of recognizing, understanding and accepting their faith. Your heart has been opened and I’ll be praying that God will continue to guide you in learning what your special relationship should be and in discerning His plan for you.Congrats!!
>I’m delurking to say I think you are wonderful. I’ll go back to being Christian when being Christian means “As I have loved you love one another” is the only thing being taught.Until then? I’ll stay in my Buddhist/Bahai/Christian mishmash that is working for me.
>i am a Unitarian Universalsit who loves Jesus…loved this post
>I’m thankful for your honesty and humor. It’s refreshing to say the least.
>WELL I am a new reader thinks to Angie. I have a lot of reading here to do, BUT I love this post. I always try to tell people That the ones Jesus used the most (David, Paul, Mary, Peter, John etc…) Were so far from the churches ideas of perfect little Christians. And the ones Jesus rebuked were the Pharisees who acted perfect.. Get it people!! It is when we are real that God can do the most with us. I will be a faithful reader…
>I for one love the transparency…
>This is the first time I read your blog (followed Angie’s link over). I will probably be repeating what many others have said but honestly comments that were made (probably by well meaning people) are the type of stuff that keeps those who long for a relationship with Him but do not feel “good” enough for Him away. I was an alcoholic, had sex with many men, and was anorexic for many many years and guess what the second I repented and asked Jesus into my heart my slate was wiped clean. Just because I did walk the same path as someone else (sunny bright always been a Christian type – I am not knocking this lifestyle because it is a testiment in istelf) does not mean I am not as saved as them. Jesus hung out with the prostitutes and tax collectors. Thank you for your honesty, I love your blog header (laughed out loud and the cleverness of it all), and at the end of you and Jesus are the ones who work things out, not you and nasty commenting people. Rock it sister!
>I do not (nor will I ever) understand why some Christians believe the word “Christian” is synomonous with “let me judge you and tell you everything you have done wrong and why you aren’t good enough”Seriously.Don’t.Get.It.I actually wrote a post last week on why I was wary about becoming a Christian because of the bad taste MANY Christian had left in my mouth.I thank you for being SO brave and SO transparent. I think it’s something ALL of us need to do 🙂
>Good for you and all that, but your posts on Christianity come across as being painted with a very wide brush — that if you’re a conservative Christian then you’re judgey. But, if you’re posting here and you love me, then you’re not.It’s more complicated than that.And, what is your part in this? What did you do to cause the original critique in another forum?You know the AA saying: Whatever you think of me is none of my business? I find that to be pretty smart and energy-saving.Good luck on your walk of faith.
>Wow, Linds– hit a nerve, much?! Love all of the reactions.I have pretty much heard/seen it all in terms of what can be said/done in the name of Christianity, but I have to say– you are the first person I’ve ever met that caused another Christian to cry simply because you were a Christian, too! I’m kinda proud to know you.And I love your heart.
>I am SO disappointed in those two comments. God draws people to Him in very different ways and I am sure that he uses you and Angie as vessels for Him (slightly different vessels – but that is for His greater purpose.) Keep up the good work.
>God wasn’t the only one cheering when you made your announcement! I’m so excited to see how he uses you and your faith in the future!
>I know there are enough comments already, but hey, here’s my 2 cents. I’m a regular reader of your blog. I enjoy it, and I enjoy your writing. I don’t always agree with what you say, but hey, that’s how things are SUPPOSED to be. That being said, I don’t consider your blog a “Christian” blog. You don’t pray, quote Scripture (although being a good Southern girl, I’m sure you can!) or hold yourself out as a Christian more so than a mom, a woman, etc. So for some of these “Christian” bloggers to put you down for your blog’s content – well, that’s just not very Christian of them. For those of us who are Christians, I think we all work at it, in our own way.
>I am sooooo glad you addressed this…I DO read Angies blog…and I do sometimes read the comments on her blog…and I am always blown away at the sorrity type comments that “act” as if she IS in their special club…I have been a christian since the age of 5 and by no means have ever been perfect…However, this is just the type of thing that erks me…The very first day I saw Angie mentioning your blog, I was delighted!!!! Here’s why – THAT is the real Angie…she is not like those women who **THINK** they are **like her** and are a part of a *special* club!!! They are DEAD wrong…Angie truely models her life after Christ not to the conformity of of what these people **Think** we should act like…thats crazy…I get so enraged when these women shun other women because, they dont talk like them or walk like them…HA! As if **they** wrote the rules on what it is to be a christian??? This is NOT what Christ wants from us….he says “follow me!” Not “follow them, do what those ladies do and all will be well!” To think that someone cried at the fact you are a christian or think you are a chrstian??? I am outraged by that…sin is sin folks….judgement IS sin…God didn’t create us to figure out who is really a christian…God made us to serve him and I think that FOCUS has completly been lost in christianity….NOW you must be PERFECT TO ENTER CHURCH…has anyone let them know they sin and fall short of the Glory of God EVERY DAY OF THEIR LIVES?????????????????????????? Something is seriously wrong with this picture when people think that they are closer to God because, they dont *talk* that way or do *those* things…Hmmmm….actually it opens your eyes to how many people may be chrstians,but have not walked a CLOSE walk to Christ a day in their life…I choose Christ NOT the Club and if that means I am looked down upon by the club, so be it….Jesus was too…press on sister, press on sister….Praying you find a close relationship with Christ and never join the club….
>I honestly want to know where in the Bible that it defines ass as a curse word. The only place I’ve read about “bad words” are using His name in vain. I can’t see how your word choice for a body part, etc can possibly reflect on your relationship with God.
>*sigh* The types of comments you got are the types of comments that caused me to leave the church so many years ago ~ and are the same reason that I still have a bit of fear every time I walk through the doors of the sanctuary.I don't understand why personal critisms have to be pointed out "because Christ would want them to". Your email addy is prominent in your blog ~ those comments could have been made quietly & personally. Better yet, they could have offered to pray with you, support you & help you as you walk through this change. Christ never went out of his way to embarrass anyone & He would never want that for his children.I adore people like Angie, with the faith and compassion to stand by their friends & support them without judgement or condemnation. THAT reflects Christ to me ~ that's the kind of Christian woman I want to be & who I want to be surrounded by.
>This article is much needed food for my soul today. Thank you. I consider you and your words a blessing in my life and am thankful for the opportunity to keep reading, thinking, and learning.
>I came from Angie’s blog. Jesus came for imperfect people like us–he didn’t come for perfect people. Let those without sin cast the first stone. Thanks for being real!!!
>I’m coming here from Angie’s twitter post….Wow girl. You completely hit the nail on the head. People who “think” they’re living everyday in perfect Christ-likeness, are only fooling themselves. We ALL make mistakes. That’s what God’s grace is for. Big chocolate covered kudos for you on being brave enough to put this out there. And congratulations on begining your search for what He wants. HUGS and one of those Second Avenue pralines for you!!!
>In every tradition you are going to find representatives of self-interest and selfless interest. This does not make the tradition evil. It speaks to motive and intention. Most people are dissonant and striving for harmony even though the drive of their self-interest consistently drives them away.One of the keys to a greater harmony in life and in purpose is in gaining the understanding that all religions are based on the same thing. The great Hindi saint Ramakrishna entered into every one of the major religions and experienced enlightenment in each of them and declared that they are all the same. Our greatest stumbling block is in the mind’s disposition to seeing the world external as a duality play. We see differences. We see differences in religious beliefs and we see differences in each other. We see all manner of differences but everything is made out of the same thing in terms of what we call matter and everything is interpenetrated by the same thing which we call consciousness. The consciousness and the matter are the same thing as well but in another aspect.
>I read Angie’s blog and found you through her. First of all, we are all a work in progress. ALL of us sinners and all of us at different places in our life and in our faith-whether it is a believer or a follower, aren’t we all journeying (is that a word?) on the same path. And together with God’s grace, we’ll get there! Angie was a help to me, too!
>Wow. I think something that is always important to remember is that your beliefs are personal, like you said. Each person has their own walk with God, and we grow because of that.I read both yours and Angie's blog. I relate to you both. I'm a struggling Christian…Join the club sister!I feel like many of your commentors, being a christian is not about judging others. It's about learning to love Christ, and doing it in your own way.I grew up in a STRONG Southern Baptist home, where my father was a Deacon and my mother ran the Preschool Program. Whew, boy have I been judged! I quit attending church for several years after my pastor admitted to having an affair with the Minister of Education's wife for over a decade. I was so lost.I went occasionally, and then stopped again in 2001 for a while. My mother who had given so much of herself to those who needed her wisdom and guidance passed away. My mother who devoted her time and love to this "church" was ignored time and again by the church while she died in a hospital.I never have lost my faith in Christ, but I have on several occasions lost my faith in Christians. Because of that I have strived to be exactly as you & Angie. An imperfect Christian trying to find my way to Christ. I cuss occasionally, I enjoy wine, and I really enjoy cigarettes. But those things do not define my Christianity, my beliefs,my faith, my love for God. I have my OWN personal walk with the Lord, and you know what…He gets me and loves me just the same. Just like he loves you too girl!I commend you for who you are, no gimmicks, just good old-fashioned honesty. And you know what…those who hide behind judgment are just afraid of being judged themselves, because they know they have flaws too.
>Hey Lindsey!I’ve been a reader of yours for a long time (and Angie’s too) but wanted to de-lurk to thank you for your honesty.I have the same struggles that you are facing. I’m trying to strengthen my relationship with God, but fall short every time. I’m guilty of saying “ugly” words sometimes, but like you, I know me some scripture too. Finding the balance between the two is something I’ve had difficulty with on my blog too.With all my faults, I still consider my self a Christian (without quotation marks). And you should too. You’re searching and trying to develop more of a relationship with God- I think that’s what He wants from all of us.
>”Still, it’s disappointing that I made someone cry by calling myself a Christian.”Wayull…you didn’t make someone cry. That’s their own baggage.And I’m sure lots of people have already said this, but Jesus hung out with sinners. That’s us. Everyone. So that’s cool. ;^)
>I have to admit, I found your blog through Angie’s. I have been reading hers for a year now and am absolutely moved to a deeper relationship with our Lord because of her amazing story. I read your blog and went back and read more and read more. I wish someone could have had a video camera on me as I laughed so hard I realized I was crying….all by myself! You are funny, girl! I mean, tears and sore stomach muscles for 2 days. I wondered about your faith because there wasn’t mention of it that I saw, but that didn’t stop me from continuing to read your blog. I’m a pastors wife (dare I say it?!) and think you are charming, fresh, raw and real….refreshing. I said it in my other comment to you, I often feel out of place in the church too, but I don’t feel out of place with God. Jesus already paid the way for me and I want to be better because I love Him so much I will obey Him. I praise God for how He is showing Himself to you and how He has used people like Angie to show you Himself. I think you are great! And I know He will use you and all your quirks to show others, who are like you, who He is. That is SOOO awesome!
>Go – right now – and buy The Heart of Christianity by Marcus Borg.Whatda ya still doing here? Scoot – now.When I first read it, I kept smacking my husband on the arm every 5 minutes and saying “Thats exactly what I think – I thought I was the only one! Woohoo!”I still use it as a touchstone. My favorite line – “Grace with conditions ceases to be grace.” Dude – knocked me flat.Seriously – buy it.Kim*raised Southern Baptist, think like a Unitarian Universalist -conflict much?
>Thank you for this post. I consider myself a Christian woman, yet have been known to use profanity. I think it’s horrible that people can judge us(isn’t there somewhere in the bible that talks about judging???)and look down on us. Amen to you sister!!
>preach!we should all be in tears that any of us are allowed to call ourselves Christian, because we are all so far from being like Him that we should cherish those words whenever we utter them.i’ve never read your blog before Angie posted a link to this entry, but i’m bookmarking you and i’ll be back. your authenticity is refreshing.
>Maybe your postings on this matter (along with the over 350 combined responses you’ve received) were meant as more than a message or lesson for you & us readers. Maybe it was meant as a teaching for the original commenters who caused you to question yourself in the first place. Just food for thought.
>Lindsay, Just wanted to comment and tell you that I am behind you, routing for you, and I (like God in your awesome word picture) have my fist raised in the air in excitement that you are a CHRISTIAN. Continue to be confident in your walk with the Lord and receive correction and praise from those who truly love you not those who stand in judgement.I came upon your blog from Angie’s. And I have visited ever since. I like what you have to say… all non-cookie-cutter Christian and everything.Keep it up.
>I actually linked to your page from Angie’s several months ago and have been a “lurker” ever since. I commend you for your honesty. I think what makes us “christians” so wonderful is that we are all SO different. I think diversity is something to be proud of. You are YOU-be PROUD of that! Here is a nice quote from author Annie Lammot from her book Traveling Mercies. I think it fits nicely with this post:” The mystery of God’s love as I understand it is that God loves the man who is mean to his dog just as much as He loves babies; God loves Susan Smith, who drowned her two sons, as much as he loves Desmond Tutu. And He loved her just as much while she was releasing the handbrake of her car that sent her boys into the river as He did when she first nursed them. So of course He loves old ordinary me, even or especially at my most scared and petty and mean and obsessive. Loves me. Chooses me.”
>beautifully written lindsay. i love your authenticity, it is inspiring to me to see you step out and be honest.and if you need someone to photograph you “wiping the butt of a donkey” i’ll volunteer in order to see that! 😉
>God made beautiful women and bare baby butts. I don’t see anything to be ashamed of in your header or your blog. I think God made curse words too, and he uses them when people act like jerks.anon
>Thank you for being honest. We are not expected to be perfect, we are expected to try our best to follow his guidance and learn from our mistakes. I also read Angie’s blog, and one of the reasons I continue is because she is real. She tells us of her struggles as well as her victories. That’s what we should all be doing…being honest with each other and building each other up.
>What happened to just LOVING others? There should be no ifs, ands, or buts- just love.
>I’ve read all the comments and I’m so happy to see the support here. I could go on and on but I won’t. I just wanted to say thank you and AMEN. All of those things you touched on are what kept me from church for so long. I stumbled upon Angie’s blog last year and she inspired me so much that I am now attending regularly and have wonderful friends there. And now I can add another awesome blog to my list of favorites! 🙂
>You have so many comments that you probably won’t even get to mine but I too felt the need to de-lurk to say that I absolutely love your blog! I came over from Angie’s site and now I am hooked and read your blog every day. I wish I could know you and Angie both in real life. I hope you are encouraged by all your commenters and how much we appreciate you and your honesty and your blog. You are awesome. I am so glad that Angie told us about you. I have enjoyed reading many of your comments left too. Lots of inspiring women out there.
>Like other folks leaving comments, I found your blog through Angies. I grew up half my life in the Catholic Church and the other half in a Baptist Church. I’ve always struggled as to where I belong and what “rules” I’m supposed to believe. The older I’ve gotten, I realize that I love God. I talk to God every day. It might not be 10x’s a day in prayer, but we have our conversations. I’m human. I cuss (and some days waay too much), I’ve cut people off in traffic, and I’ve even at times questioned my faith. I however have returned money to a cashier that gave me too much back, sit silently at crying for bloggers(that I’ve never even met before) b/c of their pain, and done many daily good deeds for people. I’m not perfect! For any Christian to judge makes me believe that they are not so “Christian.” In my experience it is those whom have pushed me away from a church home and prevented me to further my faith with others. Your blog touches me in ways that Angies blog doesn’t and vice versa. We are all human and we are all different. God uses us in different ways to do “our jobs” here on earth. I would like to think that if people who call themselves Christian can truly act that way (besides the hour they are at church) then we all might be better people by influence. By the way, I’m still trying to figure out what is wrong with your picture? I’m not getting it??? 😉
>Thank you for writing about this… it has touched me so much. Thank you for your bravery and your willingness to be real. After all, God wants us to be real, both with him and with others. The only way to have real, authentic community is to be honest with each other. So, guess what? Sometimes I swear or (gasp) speak unkindly to my husband or (cringe) lose my temper with my child…. because I’m a real person… I am not perfect.I’m part of a woman’s bible study at my church and while I like the study, I have a hard time really expressing my opinion for fear of being judged by the other ladies. Because I’m totally sure my stance on gay rights would absolutely shock them. And the fact that I think the feminist movement was actually a really good thing.I’m tired of Christians thinking that we all have to think the same and have the same opinions. I’m sorry but I refuse to believe anything simply because I’ve been told to. I want to search it out, in my own heart with God.No one has all the right answers– certainly not me. I wish others would have the respect to not knock down what you have to say simply because they don’t agree.I love your blog– I feel like I’m not alone whenever I read it.
>I puffy heart your blog! even when it eats my comments when I click publish. I am a pastor’s wife… and I know all too well the feeling of not being in the club. I want you to know that I love most of these comments. I am so sorry that you have felt unwelcome.. BUT SO happy you have felt unworthy. Sounds like I’ve been sniffing the hair products huh? Let me clarify this for you ( and the other reading who feel free to declare who is “Christian” and who falls short.) We ALL fall short of perfection. In every way. We are not perfect moms, we are not perfect wives, we are N-O-T perfect by God’s standards. But here’s the really awesome thing… Grace saves us. Our Daddy loves us.. you, me, all of us.. SO much that His grace saves us. The people I worry most about are the ones who feel that they know they are worthy, free from all sin. I don’t know if I’m making a lick of sense… But I do know that Our Daddy is giving you a big “wooot!” for being honest in your journey.I think I may blog about your blog today. If thats ok.CeCehttp://cecemeetsworld.wordpress.com
>Am I perfect?No.Do I use bad language?Yes.Does God love me anyway?You bet.And, actually – all things come from God. “Good” things and “bad” things.And it’s all in how you use them. Do I use “bad” language?Yes – sometimes to make a point, sometimes to make someone laugh, sometimes to let off a little steam.Do I use “bad” language to hurt someone?No.I’m suspicious of people who proclaim themselves Christians. You shouldn’t have to tell me that. I should be able to tell by your behavior, your demeanor, and your spirit.As soon as someone announces their Christianity to me, I withdraw because I will NEVER. EVER. MEASURE. UP. TO. THEIR. STANDARDS.But I don’t have to.Because God loves me.Bad language and all.Thanks for putting it out there, Lindsey!
>I just came across your blog from a link on Angie’s. I haven’t read anything on your blog other than this post and I just want to apologize for the less than Christ-like responses left by some regarding YOUR level of Christianity. We are all flawed, we are all sinners, that’s why Christ died for us. I wonder if those who pointed a finger at you are dealing with their own lack of Christian authenticity and that’s why they chose to speak out? In my own personal life, I’ve found that when I point fingers at someone else, I’m usually calling them out about something I don’t like about myself. Just wanted to say I’m sorry. Continue to be who you are and continue to seek a deeper relationship with Christ.
>I found your post through Angie’s link and have thoroughly enjoyed it and admired your brave honesty. I for one thought more highly of Angie for including the link, because it was confirmation that she was not beholden to any delicate flowers who might be offended. That someone would feel capable of judging you as not truly Christian is just sad and so silly. Truly, I feel for the poster, because clinging to the superficial as a guide to what is worthy and real can not be fun. I appreciate your words and thoughtful struggle!
>I am a Christian and I do try not to judge other people but I am sure I fail. The people on the other blog are proving your point they are Christians and are not perfect. They should not have made the comments they did but they did and in my eyes that is a mistake. However the people posting here are also doing the same things by talking about them. So really its a silly cycle. We should not judge but we all do and we all sin.
>Lindsay,Just found your blog today via Angie. Thank you for being real. Your realness is an example to me. It is not our job as Christ followers to judge one another and I am sorry you’ve been hurt. Unfortunately, I think Christian women have a huge problem in the judging department- and I don’t exclude myself- it’s something I am working on. Remember that it is the amazing love for each of us that lead Christ to the cross. And that love is not dependant on what we do or don’t do. God says this to us in His love letter, the Bible: “Nothing can ever seperate us from God’s love- neither death, nor life, nor angels or demons, neither our fears for today, nor our worries about tomorrow-not the powers of hell can seperate us. No power in the sky above or earth below…” Romans 8:38, 39Growing in Christ with you,love, a new friend
>I agree with what everyone else is saying… That no one is perfect, that every Christian is a work in progress. I am sorry that you have been treated so badly by fellow believers.For the record, my almost eight-year-old son is always quick to point out that the word ass is found in the Bible.
>I have never read your blog, and this is the only post I have seen of it. I saw you on Angie’s and clicked over. As tears stream down my face I want you to know that you are brave for putting that out there, I hope that it will make a lot of people think about what they say before they say it. But going through all of that majorly sucks and I know it totally hurts, hello you have feelings too. So I just wanted to say to you, I’m sorry, I’m sorry that other people have said things that are hurtful and harmful instead of helpful and encouraging! I hate the bad reputation Christianity gets because of things like this, it just makes it suck for everyone involved. My husband and I are about to adopt from Ethiopia, the most hurtful things in the world come from Christians, it breaks my heart every single day, not just for myself or for other people in my situation but honestly for them. I pray your post will open some peoples eyes!
>Hi Lindsay, I’m so sorry that you were treated this way by “Christians.” If it makes you feel any better, I’m a Methodist pastor and I love your blog–have for a long time. And I swear. And I love me a beer every once in awhile. There’s nothing wrong with trying to do better, but don’t believe anyone who insinuates that God doesn’t have an all-consuming, overwhelming, “no matter what” love for you.
>I already made a comment, but wanted to comment again… Todd and Angie’s are too funny! Also, if you EVER want a flood of opinions/comments, just talk about religion! Wow, I’ve sat here and read most of the comments and am so very proud at all the women who are part of the “dis-functional family of Jesus” as one commenter put it… glad to be one of those women.
>Oh Lindsey, God is raising His hand and shouting “You go girl!”I’ve been reading your blog now for a little over a year and I must say that today I’m shouting “You go girl!” Not one of us is perfect and we will never be. But if we seek Him and stand before Him and say, “You are the potter and I am the clay.” – oh my what a journey we’ll have ahead of us!I’m much like you, if the church doors were open my grandparents had me in there – thank goodness! But now as an adult, I find it difficult to connect with many churches in our area (Nashville) and more specifically women within those walls. I’m trying though. My husband and I have been praying and seeking a church for 16 months now. Most feel too big for me and others just aren’t very welcoming. Sometimes I wonder if 34, newly married and no children keeps me out of the “group”. I mean most women my age are mothers and they didn’t really seem to want to befriend me. So it’s been me and my man for 16 months now.But, now I’m PREGNANT – Praise the Lord! And I’ve already noticed women being much more friendly. And all I can say is “What up with that? Is there a secret motherhood club I never knew about? Seriously people, don’t be judging!”Anyways, I’ve rattled on long enough. You hang in there and I will too, because one thing I do know – Jesus wants me to have a relationship with Him, not a bunch of judgmental humans.So, I’ll pray for us…that God will lead us to Him and a people of faith we can truly share our lives with!And as my Grandmother would say, “Bless your sweet heart!”
>Thank you everyone. I’ve been reading everything you’ve written- and plan to go back and read it again when I have more time.Just wanted to make a note here that I have deleted two “anonymous” comments left here by someone who has been causing problems for months now on multiple sites I write for.I verified the person’s IP before removing the comments. I’m happy to address criticism, but not from someone whose ONLY goal is to bring me down at any opportunity.I hate to write about this publicly- I’ve been dealing with it “behind the scenes”- but I didn’t want anyone to think I was randomly taking down critical comments.
>Let me say this as kindly as I can. No one is worthy of sitting in judgment of another. It is perfection such as this that makes me agnostic. I would rather be an imperfect agnostic than a “perfect Christian”. Keep your chin up and worry not what others think. maggie
>I’m reading “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan. Amazing. A must read as we’re growing in our relationship with Christ. It will make everyone shut.up.
>i have noted people saying things such as “i don’t swear; i don’t dress immodestly” and that they don’t judge others. that last part is cool. but at the same time i wonder where i can look up the rules on cursing and dress codes. because i think this is often extremely subjective. Somehow it was decided that in addition to being kind to oneself and to others, being a christian comes with a whole laundry list of “good” behavior. I feel like Jesus had one rule, which is “And above all else, love one another as I have loved you.” I am not certain where all the rest has come from. And you can follow it all if it makes you feel warm and fuzzy and proud of yourself, but i really don’t think it has much to do with Christianity per se. About dressing oneself: what passes for modesty in some people’s eyes is immodest in others. what looks modest to a Midwestern Christian woman will look immodest to a Middle Eastern Christian woman. What looks modest to me looks immodest to my Jewish neighbors. Therefore, I cannot be certain Jesus has a dress code. Those commenters who said they don’t dress immodestly–do i take it that you never wear short sleeves? that you cover your hair? that you don’t paint your nails? all immodest behaviors, from other mainstream Christian perspectives. About cursing: Words that once *were* swear words no longer are, having been replaced by others. And somehow it’s okay for Christians to use those words-that-used-to-be-swears-but-no-longer-are. how can this be? did Jesus have a pronouncement on this? What gets your mouth washed out with soap in the 20s is now Christian-certified in the 21st century? Moreover, how can something like “goshdarn” be OK when everybody knows it’s really replacing “Goddamn”? You replace one word with another but the intention is still there, is it not? And isn’t it the intention that matters? Replacing curses with ‘sugar’ and ‘gosh’ and ‘heck’ doesn’t make you a good Christian. i think it gives people a false sense of virtue.i feel that the not cursing and not dressing “immodestly” is like giving up candy for lent. it’s a little hard to do but not that hard. and really, when you look at it, it’s kind of silly: oooh, i say “shucks” instead of “shit” and God loves me for it? it’s far harder to commit to regular volunteer time or to talking to the homeless guy (instead of pretending we don’t see him or that we’re in a hurry or that giving him some change and a “how are you” is “just a bandaid.”) personally life is hard. and if you’re walking around saying “i’m a good Christian and I’m not judging you”, well, that’s not bad, but really you should be taking that time to improve upon your own life and then you can look forward to the day when even that self-conscious thought of how you are so not judging someone else does not even occur to you, so focused are you on your own journey. respectfully, joe
>I found your blog through ANgie’s when she linked it a few weeks ago, and I was SO GLAD because it’s SO FUNNY! I can relate to many things you’ve written (I’ve got 4 charming kids of my own :)), and I’ve checked in every so often. Actually, I think one of the first things I read on your blog was when you had a sore throat and used the apple cider vinegar to help soothe it…my husband also had an awful sore throat, so I told him what I had read, only oops! I said to drink it. Then about a half hour later I was reading him your blog, and I read “gargle” and he said “gargle?” so I reread it, and confirmed that yes, it said gargle. But, hey, drinking it also worked! 🙂 Totally forgot where I was going with this because I’ve been interrupted 6 times now with my kids fighting over who’s eating whose marshmallow peeps. Oh, well. ANyway, I’ve enjoyed your posts; you’re very funny, and I can relate to many things you’ve said (and many things Angie’s said). I think it’s awesome you ran into each other, and makes me wish I could bump into some cool people at coffee shops, but I live up here in Alaska where it’s so cold out we only go through drive-thru coffee stands. That, and I don’t like dragging all 4 of my kids (ages 6 and under!) in and out of places when it’s 20 below outside.Thanks for sharing your life and being so open. Wish I could remember what else I was going to comment…I just got a kick out of your blog, and a laugh at the picture, and I’ve felt judged on by other people (and I am a follower of Jesus! Have been for a long time, although some times I’m more on it than other times!). Everybody’s still learning and growing, right? I was sad to see that there had been negative comments about you- I honestly didn’t think anything of it; I was just glad to have found a new blog to read :)cara
>In all honesty, it’s my brokenness and commitment to Jesus that I do not have a blog. I know that I write well, and with humor. My Christmas letters have our family rolling on the floor. (I’m Christian AND humble!)In seriousness, I think you are very brave. I fear misrepresenting Catholicism if I start a blog because, while I am passionately in love with my faith, I am also a big fat sinner. Day after day I fail God and others, but day after day I pray that I am walking toward perfection knowing I will never reach it. I’m the girl who will never claimed to be “saved” because I realize we all have an aptitude to fall right back into the pit even after we’ve climbed the mountain. And quite frankly, I’m too lazy to spend my days defending myself, my faith and Rome, which I know I will do if I ever had a following.Rock on Lindsay. Your transparency is inspiring.
>I’m not re-reading the gazillion comments, so thanks to whoever sent me to the “Letters from Kamp Krusty” blog. I love it!And, Lindsay, people who think there is some sort of criteria for describing yourself as Christian are part of the reason I never describe myself with that word, despite going to church and being a pastor’s kid to boot. Also, these might be the most interesting comments since the circumcision controversy.
>Ok, you know what?It’s legalistic “Christian” women like this that make me ashamed to say that I am a practicing Christian.Biggest cause of unbelief in the world today=Christians.There’s always a battle going on between legalism and grace. I come down squarely in the grace camp. Being Christian doesn’t mean you’re perfect…it means you admit you AREN’T perfect and that you need HELP to get to heaven because your good deeds can’t and won’t get you there. It also means that you work on your own sh*t and help others with their sh*t. The New Testament is pretty specific about what God thinks of self-righteousness. (See comments about 1. loving neighbors and 2. motes and planks in eyes)This is why I can’t go to the women’s Bible study class at my church. Too many women telling me that even though I’ve accepted Christ as my Savior, I’m not “doing it right”.Good golly, Lindsay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of us who deal with the “God’s In-Crowd” bunch.
>came home.. and had to check and see how many people commented since I did. I honestly don’t know why.. could it be that I’m avoiding the dirty dishes? hmm maybe. But now, here I am responding again. I am new to this blog writing thing… and some of my posts are funny as all get out.. some are saddening and dark.. but all are attempts to illuminate who I am and where I am at on my journey…For this comment regarding marketing oneself for the blog reading community? Flaming is SO 2002. So… To Anon Gina- Being critical and mean spirited does nothing but tattle on yourself. Its a good thing( a God thing) you posted what you have on this topic… lots of people are reading it and will pray for you and your personal journey.Lindsay? Our Daddy is digging this.. and saying “that’s MY girl”CeCe
>These condescending, presumptuous and judgmental Christians are one of the main reasons for my complete divorce from “the church.” I was judged along with my family from conception. My mom got pregnant with me at 19 and she was not married. The people in my church were so mean to my family. I had “Christians” tell me to my face, at 5 years old, that I was just a bastard and couldn’t play with their children…So anyway, I wonder how these judgmental ladies would feel about me being an agnostic and my name being Christian! I’d love to see the look on their faces…
>Oh and I failed to mention that my mom was a total hottie and the “Christians” also had a problem with that….I just can’t believe how beauty can be seen as “un-Christian like.” Don’t worry your pretty little head…They are only jealous of your beauty inside and out.
>You are exactly right. The women’s words are 100% turned me away from the Christian faith running and kicking.The churches I have attended were full of judgment and intolerance.That is not what Jesus taught and I cannot support a faith that is so misrepresented.
>I linked to your blog. Thanks for making me think about and evaluate my faith.
>Lindsay, I have been a reader of your blog and this is the first time I have ever left a post. Thank you for being so transparent and honest. My father was about as “Christian” as one could be. He was a Sunday school teacher, a church board member and due to some hurtful circumstances from other “Christians” he got hurt and became defeated, gave up and turned away from God and started drinking. Please know that God wants us to love one another whether we are a Christian or not. Being a “True Christian” is about having a relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It is private between you and God and nobody has the right to cast stones or make judgments. God loves and values you so very much so just hold onto HIM and be strong. While some professed Christians try to be well meaning they can do so much harm and my family is living proof on that. My biggest shame would be if I ever turned anybody away from having a relationship with God due to being judgmental or saying something hurtful causing one’s spirit to be crushed resulting in defeat. Having a relationship with God is something that is personal and private. Yes, we are to fellowship with each other as a way to build each other up and to help encourage and edify one another and yes we need to be accountable for our actions but it all needs to be God centered and not “self” centered. Even when Jesus was dying on the cross he had to say “forgive them father for they do not know what they are doing.” God bless you Lindsay! Your post was wonderful and I just wanted to say, “Amen Sister!”
>We are ALL sinners, and God loves us just the same. We are works in progress until the day we die. God is not looking for a way to punish any of us. He loves us and wants us to love Him, and love others as we love Him. That’s pretty much the big picture.God Bless You. I pray that you continue to seek the truth, and walk tall knowing that God is on your side. 🙂
>I stumbled onto your site today after seeing Angie’s Twitter. I read your post and instantly felt anger and most of all sadness for what you were exposed to and have went through. Let me thank you for hanging in there and not letting “them” beat you down. Too many times people are beaten down by people claiming to be speaking for Christ and working for Him. Aren’t we lucky that He is big enough to speak for Himself and that He speaks clearly and directly to us. Keep listening to Him girl, seems to me your line of communication with Him is wide open. I have to tell you what I found most amazing about your post is the comments. WOW!! How encouraging are they? (I wanted to shout for joy)So uplifting to read what so many people wrote and echoed. God must just be rejoicing reading all the great comments that you were able to get from people. Wouldn’t be amazing if we could get all those who believe we need to love one another as Jesus loved everyone and leave the judging to God Himself. Imagine what could get done and accomplished. Imagine the people that could be reached out to and brought into the church. I too struggle with the church leaders that speak and preach about loving everyone and accepting all people but then criticize and judge those in and out of the church if they aren’t meeting their personal standards. Thanks for the glimmer of hope I saw in reading the comments of all those who love God and are accepting. Keep doing what you are doing lady. What a ministry you have here. I will keep reading!!Leslie Oregon
>We can all be judgmental at times, even if we don’t mean to. I’m not saying it’s okay, just that it’s human nature.People tend to confuse the what-you’re-doing-isn’t-right kind of judgment with the you’re-going-straight-to-hell kind of judgment. Nothing wrong with the first if it’s done with the right attitude (humility, sincere concern). The second kind of judgment is the kind that no one has the right to except God.(I Corinthians 6:2-3 is an interesting portion of scripture. I’d like to study it further someday.)Anyway, I was thinking the other day about the response of someone I know towards someone they saw on TV. How can we be rude to or about someone, or disgusted by them and/or their sin when we ourselves have our own issues and sins that we’ve dealt with or are dealing with? None of us was born sinless and perfect.It brought this great scripture to mind:”Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolators, nor adulterers, nor effiminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,”Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.”And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.”I Corinthians 6:9-11Such were some of us. We should feel compassion towards those who are lost, not superiority or disgust.God loves everyone, but that doesn’t mean He’s okay with our sin. He wants to change us and draw us closer to Him. Make us holy as He is holy. (I Peter 1:15-16.) He not only loves Christians and those struggling with “little” sins; He also loves murderers, child molesters, adulterers, rapists, thieves and so on. The “unloveables”. And He wants us to love them too. *gulp*Love your neighbor as yourself.”Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” — Matthew 5:44I know I’ve sort of rambled and strayed a bit. I apologize.Keep your chin up. If you continue to submit to God and His Word, He will make you what you ought to be. There will always be busy-bodies who feel like they have to say something to you. By that I mean, people who weren’t told by God to tell you something. They just take it upon themselves to stick their noses where they don’t belong. That’s not to say that anyone who tries to guide you is wrong for doing so. It’s all in the attitude, the tone, the motive.Blessings to you. 🙂
>I have read your blog for ages but never commented. You are amazing…absolutely amazing!!!!!!!
>Amen!
>I’m sorry these comments made you upset. I’m sorry that people are so judgemental. As Christians, we are suppose to love everyone regardless of their faults – nobody is perfect!I feel your response was done perfectly. I am amazed at how much you have shown of yourself in these posts. You are very brave and I admire you for that 🙂
>Thank you for sharing Angie's blog and for sharing so much of yourself. I guess I don't understand why people feel the need to make such comments. If they don't like your blog or don't agree with it, fine, just don't read it. That's their choice. There are some great bloggers that have made comments I disagree with so strongly that I don't read their sites anymore, but I never left a negative message on my way out. Yes, bloggers put it all out there but it's still a personal reflection and everyone has a right to their own view. I can't tell you how much women like you have helped me by sharing your struggles and making me feel less alone. I'm so glad you found a church home that you are comfortable with. Take heart & don't be discouraged.
>Right on!
>judgey wudgey was a bear!
>What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.~Ralph Waldo EmersonThis goes for Christians AND non-Christians.Whether you are a devout Christian or an atheist, be careful not to become he who has judged you!
>I wish that I, as a Christian, could say that I am shocked and even appalled by the comments Angie received from other Christians. However, I am not. I would like to apologize to you for this treatment. I would like to say congratulations on becoming my sister in Christ. I appreciate that you searched your heart for your motivation to seeking out God, and I would like to support you in any way that I can. I admire you for your forthrightness in handling this situation, not bad mouthing the women who commented poorly on you. In all honesty they must have felt they were doing the right thing, I hope. To prove my point (that you and I are the same in Christ) I will be joining your blog and openly following you on my blog, though I just started it the other day and have no followers yet. Sometimes the worst non-believers can do more for God’s glory after accepting Christ into their hearts than a life long Christian.With Love in Christ.Sara,Check out my blog for a comment and link to this entry! http://1ofhisown.blogspot.com/
>hi Lindsay! I am not sure how I originally found your blog (it was several months ago..) but I love it! I also read Angie’s blog and was shocked when I came here to find that “Christians” were upset that Angie mentioned you on here blog. So ridiculous! Ugh. I don’t (and probably won’t) ever understand. And how cool is it that Angie (and Todd!) posted in your comments? I think Angie said it perfectly! I too, have the same thoughts and feelings you seem to have and just because we use the word ass doesn’t mean that we aren’t a “Christian.” Noone knows what is in your heart except for you and God. And that is all there is too it. Keep up the good work on your blog!!
>I really love this post you wrote. So much. I am a Christian, and am definitely a Bible thumper in that I believe the Bible to be God’s word. Literally. When I first became a Christian I went to the type of church where everyone thought they were better than everyone else. That was the vibe. So guess what I did? I picked up on that attitude as well. Thankfully God didn’t allow me to stay there – instead He taught me about His love and His grace. Life is so much better now. It is a lot of work putting on airs! Lindsay as you know, we are all works in progress. No one has arrived, no one is without sin, no one is perfect. We’re all growing and changing in our Christian walk. We change as we grow closer to Christ. The problem with Christianity is that anyone can say they are a Christian, but only God knows our hearts. Only He knows whether each of us truly has His Holy Spirit living in us. But as Christians, can’t we have grace and love towards each other? Can’t we let God be the judge? I know I can. Thanks to Him.
>I would like to apologize on behalf of my thoughtless sisters who condemn from deep within their religious bubbles. It kills me when a judgement comes disguised as pity. …that what her tears were about you know, she pities you. *sigh, shakes head* In His grip, Jill
>I love your honesty. I found your blog by way of Angie’s thru that link actually:) Love her blog by the way. I am not sure why people think it is their right to judge. I am a christian and I was raised methodist and now go to a baptist church and I have felt uncomfortable at times because I felt people were judging me. We only recently started going back because I had anxiety issues after my son was born 8 years ago. Sometimes I think people look at me and wonder why I have not been at church for 8 years, but I wasn’t at home eating bon bons I was watching on T.V. and still reading and praying:}I think the ones that turn up there nose at others for not being their form of perfect, totally ruin it for so many people who want to know Christ, but give up the opportunity because they don’t want to feel uncomfortable.
>Lindsay-I cried reading this post. I can only hope that the women who wrote those comments realize that they are sinners just like the rest of us, and that judging another person is just as great a sin as using any poor language.Angie has been a blessing to many of us, all on our own unique faith walks. I thank you for reminding all of us that words do hurt.Keep on keeping on and know that He loves you.
>I have to agree with a lot of the other comments, we are all on a journey and someone who thinks they have it all figured out..well…doesn’t. Maybe those criticizing “christians” need to keep in mind that we were all created in God’s image. ALL of us. I’m a christian and you know what? I get mad, I cuss sometimes, I yell and scream and make bad decisions, but, at the end of the day my God still loves me.My friend’s inlaws told her she needed to get “New” “Christian” friends…um, what? Last time I checked, the only one who determined if you were a christian was you!Keep being real and following the crazy, wonderful path you are on!
>You rock, Lindsay. Faith and Christianity is a struggle for all of us. Putting yourself out there is brave. Being a Christian isn’t just about “looking perfect”-it’s way more about accepting everyday that we will fail, brush ourselves off, accept the grace that He gives, and trying again.I’m now off to read the posts that you linked to. I’m fascinated by this topic because I struggle with my writing about being a Christian, too. It can be a powerful tool and I want to do right by our God.
>I am so sorry, so sorry that people that call themselves “Christians” (sorry, couldn’t resist 🙂 )think that they even have the right, much less think they should voice their thoughts in words. I am not picking on them or meaning to demean them in any way, I am just sorry that they said that about you. Christ himself went to the “sinners” and told three parables about how sweet it is to find just one into the kingdom..that is what we are here for, to welcome those who don’t know Him to shine is His light. You are an amazing person, we are all sinners saved by grace, please don’t forget that, be proud of yourself for going to church and keep calling yourself a CHRISTIAN!
>I think I’m a little late to this table.But I wanted to say that there are always people who try to make you believe you don’t belong, always some specific cultural, religious fashion, socio-economic, or some other standard that people hold so dear to them and judge all others by. But it’s so high school! As a young immigrant to the Midwest from South Asia, there were people who judged me more on superficial differences than who I was as a person. As a transplant to San Francisco in my 20’s (VERY American by then), there were cool, hip and eccentric (in a very fashionable way) people who set that, very specific, standard. And as a newbie to the South, I meet women all the time who seem to believe in some other standard: that you don’t leave home without the perfect pedicure, eyebrow shaping and make-up. Otherwise, it’s all, like: “well, bless her heart….” I’m not like any of those – very different – standards of womanhood. I’m just me. And I think whether it comes to one’s spirituality or one’s appearance or one’s “standards” of what it means to be a woman, it’s really sucks that there’s so much judgment and so little interest in learning about other people.
>Ok, here is what I have to say. There seem to be two issues going on in this post and I think they need to be addressed seperately. The being that you are absolutely right that judgement is not ok. This is the sickness that runs in and rules the majority of churches today. It is the exact same reason why people are turned off from religion. Standing on a street corner and screaming at someone that they are going to go to hell (unless they follow your God) isn't exactly the right way to go about it and sadly that is exactly the way a lot of Christians choose the go about it. In this area, we need to look to Jesus as our example. Jesus never once stood on street corners telling people they were going to hell. He never once ran in exclusive circles and snubbed the people who weren't "holy enough". He spent the majority of his life among prostitues, thieves, murders, etc. His entire mission was to show the LOVE of his father to the world. The bible says that God is love. He is pure love. Jesus wanted everyone in this world to know that love. We as the body of Christ need to stop spewing condemnation and start acting like Jesus. We need to show God's love to the world. Not one of us is better than another. It doesn't matter what you believe, where you live, what car you drive, etc. You could be one of the richest people in the world and you look no different to God then the bum on the corner. It truly makes me sad that people are the church have become so about THEMSELVES and very little about God. The are more about being "right" than seeing how horribly wrong they act. Ok, on to the 2nd part of this. You seem to kind of be making an excuse not to change your behavior and language. The bible does say that as Christians it is our duty to keep each other in check. If we see someone going the wrong way, we need to lovingly help them get back on the path that Jesus would want them to walk. I think that above all you need to be honest about yourself and who you are, in the most raw way possible. There is so much beauty is being translucent. I would never want anyone to pretend to be something they aren't. On the other hand, there is a code of conduct that we as Christians and Christian women are supposed to follow. The bible does reference in several places that you are not supposed to cuss. (Colossians 3:8 ESV / 2 helpful votes But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. James 3 >> New American Standard Bible © ——————————————————————————–The Tongue Is a Fire1 Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. 3 Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. 4 Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. 5 So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. 7 For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. 8 But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; 10 from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. 11 Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh.)Are just two. There are also biblical codes of conduct and dress. We as women are supposed to be modest, kind, loving, and gentle. (Women Instructed9 Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, 10 but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. 11 A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. 12 But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. 13 For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. 14 And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 15 But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.) The bible also says that we are not to follow the ways of the world but to guard our hearts which is the wellspring of life. We are supposed to keep our hearts pure by taking captive our thoughts. We are supposed to daily take up our cross and follow God. As my pastor says, in everything you do, instead of asking what is wrong with it, you need to ask what is right with it. You need to honestly ask if you would be ok with Jesus standing right next to you while you are saying or doing any activity. If you wouldn't do it in front of Jesus, you shouldn't be doing it.I only bring all of this up because following Christ is an all or nothing thing. You either have to submit completely or not at all. You can't ride the fence into heaven. You can't make excuses for bad behavior by saying that you are learning and growing. Follow the scripture, deny yourself daily, take up your cross and follow him.
>Dear Lindsay,Tonight I read Angie’s blog for the first time and was drawn to check out your blog. So my knowledge of either one of you is very limited. But just the same, I wanted to write to you. I really do believe in my heart that those who made the comments did not mean any harm. I know it does not make their words any less hurtful. As with all people, not just christians, “the tongue is a slippery slope” that is not easily managed. I have been a christian most of my life (other than the 5 years I chose to hate my Savior). One thing I have learned, is that it is hard to know how to say what you want to say. Just as you were honest in your post with your feelings I believe without realizing the “pang” of their words, they too were just being honest with their comments.As a passionate seeker of Christ who desires to live my life fully and completely for God, I too sometimes say things that end up being hurtful. I guess without seeming too off the wall, is it possible God is using their words to challenge you? You stated in your post that you are walking with God – seeking him as authentically as you can (loose translation). Is it possible the words hurt because deep down you know God is calling you to something deeper? I have found that there are times in my life when God uses things like this to push me to dig deeper into my walk with Him. He has used christians and non-christians alike to hold me accountable, to draw me closer and to deepen my faith. Maybe He is doing the same?A side note for you on honesty and authentic christianity:How willing are you or how willing do you think others are to hear honest authentic christianity? I believe all of us on one level or another have a limit of what we are willing to hear. Are we willing to hear the authenticity of a woman who aborted a child who is now living an authentic life? Are we willing to hear about the authenticity of the person who raped a woman and is now living an authentic life? Are we willing to listen to the parent who beat their child for years but is now living an authentic life? Are we willing to hear about the child molester who has asked for forgiveness of their sins and is now living an authentic life?Authenticity comes at a price. It is one that makes the Bible so hard for people to accept. God’s word tells us that we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Are we ready to be real about our sin? Are we ready to see ourselves as the same sinners as I have listed above? The same sinners saved by God who sees sin as sin? God’s word tells us that those of us who have heard God’s word and believe in him will not be condemned but have eternal life (John 5:24). Are we ready to be authentic? Are we ready to accept the child molester who has believed and therefore will not be condemned but have everlasting life? Are we willing to call the parent who beat their child blessed because their transgressions have been forgiven and the Lord will never count their sins against them? (Romans 4:8)We who are seeking a relationship with God are all on the same road. We just happen to be at different spots on the road. For some it is easier to accept these truths than others. For some it is easier to be more open (authentic) than it is for others. It doesn’t mean anyone one of us is less or more of a believer. It just means God is pressing us in our faith on this journey in the way He sees is best for us.Your post and honesty was wonderful. May we all be willing to be authentic in our walk with Christ. May we all be willing to extend God’s grace, mercy and love to all those willing to be open, honest and authentic. And may none of what I am speaking from my heart be lost in translation of my slippery slope of a tongue. :)May God richly bless you with a deep desire for Him that will never be quenched.Kelli
>Your post is about as honest of a testimony of faith as one could imagine – thank you for sharing it with all of us.I blogged about your post in addition to be the 263rd person to comment.See? Look at the way God is using you right now–
>I find it interesting that the person who cried unhappy tears over you being a Christian said that they actually “really enjoy” your blog, but couldn’t add it to their blogroll because of “word choices”. That’s like the parents who teach: do as I say, not as I do. “I don’t like her word choices, so you can’t read her blog. But I still can.” Just found that interesting.
>I haven’t read the post you mentioned, Divine Caroline’s blog, or many of the comments. I came via a link on Rhonda’s blog, Mommy Needs a Time-Out. I just wanted to say don’t worry about those who would judge you based on a post or a few words. How dare people put Christian in quotes. God knows the heart. And do they truly think that upon receiving salvation, one is immediately and utterly transformed in absolutely every way and no further growth is needed? I dare anyone to tell me I’m not a Christian, washed and made pure by his blood.Sisters in him. I’ll see you at Home.
>I came over from Angie’s tweet about this and remember her post about the two of you meeting and remember thinking I need to take up coffee so I can meet cool people!What you said is so true. There’s a song by Casting Crowns that says something about Christians getting out of the way so people can see Jesus. Right up the same alley.I’ll be back often to read her blog, it looks interesting. I would have read all the comments…but I just found out that my husband is on the way home and I’ve got to look like I’ve been busy since he left!
>I just made a hard decision to leave the church I was attending. I couldn’t take the scrutiny by the other women anymore. It was changing who I was, who I want to be and how I thought of God… it’s caused me to be suspicious of churches altogether, so I haven’t been going anywhere now. I want to, but when you’ve been in turmoil for a few years… you’re just not ready to jump back in the ring. I related to your comment on why you choose to change… for others’ approval or for God’s glory. I’m pondering this, too.
>At the end of all days, you are the only person who will standing eyeball to eyeball with God to give an account for your life. The aibility to be real is certainly an asset i would say, and your frank approach is delightful. God loves us all – in our varying shapes and sizes – and so this comes with a virtual high 5 for just being YOU.
>Definitely read the book Religiously Transmitted Diseases! I think we look at issues in other Christians’ lives and pick on them. Is this because we ourselves are insecure about issues in our own Christian walk? Face it, we’re all sinners and no sin is greater than another, at least in God’s eyes. If we claim to be perfect, then we are only saying that we are equal to Jesus. Jesus was the perfect example and no matter how much we try, we’ll never live up to that standard. Why? Because we’re human. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try though. I always love those that condemn you (or me) for things we do. Who am I and who are they to be judging you or anyone else? We’ll all be judged someday, but it won’t be by bloggers and gossipy “church” people! God bless you and keep on keeping on!Ace’s husband, Superman
>God wants you to be authentic. It is not like you can really fake it with Him. Forget about pleasing people- they are flawed- every last one! He, however, is not and I imagine that He loves it when we are real. I mean, can you imagine your own child trying to fake it with you. You would be like, “Hey buddy, I know you, who do you think you are talking to?”
>I am a Christian and I follow Angie’s blog. I haven’t read your blog before this. We follow a God who is all about SCANDALOUS grace. He doesn’t give one wit about what others think about whom He chooses to save….He is all about love and taking for Himself those who will love Him back. For too long I have been the prodigal daughter who is too concerned with the big brother who doesn’t think I deserve the party than with accepting the gift from my Daddy. We are sister in Christ, you and I, and like all families we are not the same. God created our differences and He can use ANYONE. To judge that is to say that we know better than the one who made us, which is so foolish. Please remember that being a Christian is all about Christ! 🙂
>The truth of the matter is that my Jesus the same one that others are talking about walked with and ate with dirty people. People with issues, people like me who can’t keep it all together. He came for us!! He loves us all the same. Praise God that He does because I’m a horrible person and couldn’t hold up to the “perfection” that others place upon me. Being a christian isn’t being perfect it’s being real, admitting your faults and knowing that by grace He has forgiven you. Not because you deserve it because we don’t. The difference in religious people i feel is the lack of relationship. I’m a firm believer of a relationship with God and not just a religion about God. The religion can’t and will not support you when the walls around you are crumbling. It’s the relationship the one on one time with Him that will sustain you. I pray that any one reading will know that our God is a God of second, third, forth chances. He NEVER fails! He is faithful and just.
>Don’t know if it was mentioned here- too many comments to read- lol.But I highly recommend reading “blue like jazz” by Donald Miller- it is an amazing book that really makes you question the “judgmental attitude” that can rear it’s head sometimes when you are a Christian- I know it’s snuck up on me in my life.if you haven’t read it- do it now 🙂 easy read and very thought provoking.
>I’m glad you are discussing this out in the open. I think this issue is very important.
>Is it really and ALL or NOTHING kind of situation? Especially if you are still growing and learning? Sorry I don’t get that saying because who goes to Church one day, gets saved, then decides to change his who life around the next day cause it’s an ALL or NOTHING Religion. I think that is mans interpretation messing Gods message up. Most people would turn around and go their separate way if that was the truth. I think it takes time to be a REAL Christian. I thank God there are still real Christians out there like you Lindsay and not a Stepford wife with no soul.
>I know nothing about you except what I have briefly read here and on Angie’s blog, but I am so sorry for the hurtful things that people have said. It matters not who you are or what you say or do, the Body of Christ is to show love. Bottom line. And we have not done that. I appreciate your honesty…too many times we (being the Body of Christ) put on a show of what we THINK others want to SEE us doing instead of doing what Christ has called us to do…love Him and love others more than ourselves.I pray that He has truly been revealed to you in the comments left here and that you know that not everyone feels that same way!Blessings to you today and everyday!Paige
>You have posted a couple of times since you wrote this post, and being commenter #278, I am sorry I am joining the comment/discussion late. I don’t think God cares that you curse on your blog, it is a personal and societal judgement here. God doesn’t care what you are wearing either, what is acceptable atire is again a personal decision influenced by what our society deems as appropriate. God could care less.In your post you were non-judgemental to anyone, you did not place yourself above anyone, you were forgiving and understanding and you were incredibly humble about yourself.I think the women who’s comments you quoted in this post should aspire to be more like you. As you are more Christ-like than them. Please remember that no one is more entitled to God’s love over another.
>Hey Lindsey, thanks for writing this. Thanks for writing at all. It is people like you with your honesty and openness about your struggles that make the internet an interesting place. I enjoy your writing and love your humor and writing voice.About 4 years ago I went through a really tough time in my own walk with Christ/God. All I’d ever wanted to be was a wife and mother. I was a wife but the mother thing wasn’t happening. We attended a church that seemed to be the most fertile church in all the land and no one could (or even tried) relate to me and my pain. I could not reconcile the God of the Bible who said we should be fruitful and multiply with what was going on in my attempts to get pregnant. So for 3 years I “broke up” with God. I dropped out of church, I stopped reading my Bible, I turned the radio station from the Christian channel to a secular station. The only contact I had with God at all was through 6 women from my church who met every month to pray and hold each other accountable. I told them I was struggling and didn’t think I believed in God anymore. They held me, loved me, and prayed for me. They never told me I was wrong to think this way. They never judged me or spouted verses at me. They just loved me and let me cry, writhe with pain, and work out my faith in my own way and time. I am through that tough spot and while I am reclaiming my faith and renewing my relationship with God, I still have hurt as far as our inability to have children is concerned. Still, these women will always be my friends and I hold them up as an example of what to do when someone you know struggle with faith. They did it right and I hope you have that in your own life. God bless you Lindsey. I will continue to read you and follow your journey with my own prayers added to yours.
>Wow, just wow. I loved what you wrote….and I love how honest you are. I am a Christian and have been judged by other Christians. In fact, even the music on my blog has been judged by a Christian I know(ridiculous to me). I loved what you wrote about being an authentic Christian…and not who others think you should be(something like that). Just so you know..what you shared-it blessed me. I wish more Christians could be as honest as you were.
>Reading all of your comments has been truly incredible. I’m going to reread them every time I’m feeling down about my faith and where I fit into the “Christian mix.” Thank you all. 🙂
>There is nothing else to say that hasn’t been said… but I just had to say it!I would like to think that God would rather we ALL strive to be a work in progress because NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY, is perfect. A-men.
>I am way behind on my blog reading! I am a Christian but I never mention it on my blog. I just didn’t want to open myself to any criticism of the sort you have mentioned. Lately, though, I feel as if I’m not being true to myself on my own damn blog. Thanks for writing this post, Lindsay.
>http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2009/03/what-if-god-read-your-posts-a-reminder-about-christian-conduct-on-the-internet/I found this page on line and thought you might find it interesting reading in light of your recent posts on christian blogging.
>I'm new here at Suburban Turmoil. People forget that when they point fingers… there are 3 pointing back at them.Try it. Point. Look down. 3 pointing back right? Right.We, those who claim to follow Christ & those who don't, are quick to point out faults in others…especially when they're faults we have ourselves.Glad to have found you.
>Love your post!If anyone thinks they are a “model Christian” then they have another thing coming. I love your frankness and you just keep doing what you are doing.
>Just popped over from Pete Wilson’s twitter post — girl, I love real! And you are real! We could ALL take a lesson from you. I’m the girl (and yes, I’m using that term really loosely) who doesn’t fit the mold — I believe God’s called us to HIM, not to other believers. Our focus on what He has for us, not what everyone else thinks we should do. Oh, hold onto this! We’re all a work in progress and I love that you’ve decided to be transparent in your walk with the Lord. Thank you for making me think.
>Just popped over from Pete Wilson’s twitter post — girl, I love real! And you are real! We could ALL take a lesson from you. I’m the girl (and yes, I’m using that term really loosely) who doesn’t fit the mold — I believe God’s called us to HIM, not to other believers. Our focus on what He has for us, not what everyone else thinks we should do. Oh, hold onto this! We’re all a work in progress and I love that you’ve decided to be transparent in your walk with the Lord. Thank you for making me think.
>I don’t have a clue who you are but I would like to say thanks for being real. Paul murdered, David committed adultery and you said a dirty word… Now I know that I am sane because I’m not free from dirty words either.This “Christian” life is about grace. We both need it. Life is real and it comes with its frustrations. The scripture that comes to mind from your post is “A bruised reed I will not break and a smoldering wick I will not burn out.” -Matthew 12:20 Jesus wouldn’t break a bruised reed and neither should we. People shouldn’t cry tears of remorse for you as something they deem wrong. We all should encourage on another.Well anyways, great post.
>Came here via a Twitter link from @pwilson…and I’m really glad I did.Thanks for being truly authentic… being human as you seek God, not trying to be something you’re not. It’s a transformation…and I look forward to following your journey (well, the bits you share here anyway)
>I found your blog entry after it was recommended through an email subscription.I read an interesting quote on a church sign I just had to “amen” in my heart: It’s easier to preach 10 sermons than to learn 1. I am just curious how many of us “Christians” are living all the sermons we so vehemently preach. I am absolutely sold out for Jesus. I’m not in a “fringe” church, or a non-church goer who claims Christianity. I say that to say as a REAL Christian by religious standards I absolutely agree with your search for an authentic relationship with God. Know scripture and knowing the person who wrote it can be two different things. Oh how God would rather us know him than just his word. How many authors can you say that about?Is it good to cuss? Oh geez.. well it’s not good to eat pork, eat chocolate, not exercise, drink cokes, stay up late, be overweight, be overweight, be overweight, be overweight – this from someone who needs to lose a lot of baby weight! I am sure your language comes from living more than purposefully trying to be vulgar. If you are writing in a steam of emotions or conscienceness way, and firely words are a habitual part of your dialogue, it’s going to come out. For others to find this as the plank that needs pulling out is a bit of a stretch though. You stated you were a “Christian” – meaning – I believe in Jesus as God and as my only way to heaven. Not: I am a minister of the gospel here to preach and teach the word of God with boldness. Your just a mom living life and seeking God with all her heart – when she can. I think a lot of us are there. Or want to be if we were “allowed”.In your case sister, I see more of a diarrhea of the keyboard than an honest assessment of your “sin”. Where is the “gentleness and respect in which the charge is submitted to “turn” you from your “sin”? Where is it in the Bible that gives us the right to write whatever, whenver, however we want about whoever? We are charged with turning a brother from sin – with gentleness and if we win him over we have done a good thing. Wow, I don’t think you were won over? Thank GOD you still seek him anyway! The truth it, and I hate to admit it, the church is just full of broken and blind people. When ladies complain of “cliques” at church I tell them – they are just women who were girls in public school. We are all still learning. The same grace you would ask of anyone you must give. They need unconditional love just as you do. What you are doing – journaling out loud as 1)an outlet I am sure 2)a possible connection with someone who may feel better after reading your struggles – is totally different than the diatribe (thanks http://www.dictionary.com word-of-the-day!) some “Christians” use to attack honest people honestly seeking Jesus. “Jesus is just all right with me.” That is your mantra right now. I had a friend who said she remembered when she first radically gave her life to God at a charasmatic type church. She would sit for hours smoking a cigarette and worshipping God on her guitar in her house. Ten years later as she “matured” and “broke free” from her “sin” she lamented at the loss of her liberty. It’s not a disrespectful type liberty. It’s a passionate loving of God with all your heart, mind, and soul that is abandoned to seeking his Presence. I remember one night feeling such a strong need to dance for the Lord. we had dancing at our church but, that night I was probably a little too sensual. I was loving God and I was relishing his presence. Nobody said anything to me. But I am sure some wanted to. It’s not like I never had anyone tell me to sit down and shut up and you can’t do that. But I had to make a decision: was at that church for them or for God? I decided God. And he met me in huge ways. In a way I think that was part of him allowing me and my motives to be tested. Those very women who questioned me and talked behind my back ended up loving and respecting me before we moved. And, honestly I love and respect them. We are all growing and learning.Don’t feel bad for your new friend. Don’t assume she isn’t seeing and knowing the privilege of being just like Jesus: friend of sinners. He said of himself to the relgious “leaders” of his day: I came to heal the sick not the well. Those who don’t “need” Jesus don’t get him.
>Sadly, there are more “Christians” in this world that misrepresent who Christ is than not.I love your blog the way it is. Authentic.I care about grace, truth and following Jesus. But I’m not perfect and think it would be a disservice to try to convince anyone that I am.Meaning is in people. Not words.
>I actually attend a church where we talk openly about Christians who point and judge and churches who turn those they deem unworthy away. Sometimes it makes being a Christian harder when others choose to judge using their Christian title as their credential for doing so. That said, Jesus hung out with some really unsavory folks and I like to think that if he were here today, he’d hang out with me too. Great post and I love your authenticity.
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