Hi! I'm Lindsay Ferrier. You might remember me from a blog called Suburban Turmoil. Well, a lot has changed since I started that blog in 2005. My kids grew up, I got a divorce, and I finally left the suburbs for the heart of Nashville, where I feel like I truly belong. I have no idea what the future will hold and you know what? I'm okay with that. Thrilled, actually. It was time for something totally different.
August 31, 2021
Here in Nashville, weather conditions these last few weeks have been akin to those in… well, Hell. Temperatures have soared into the nineties nearly every day and the godawful humidity here makes it seem even hotter. Unless I’m poolside with a good book, I despise the weather this time of year. I hate the bugs and the boob sweat and the migraine-inducing summer sun that makes the asphalt radiate waves of searing pain right through the soles of my sandals. Weather-wise, it is certainly the worst of times.
But it is also the best of times.
How could this be, you ask? Simple. Fake Fall is here, y’all!
Although you wouldn’t know it from watching the local weather report, fortunately we Southerners have other ways to tell when Fake Fall is approaching: Starbucks starts selling Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Michaels busts out the Harvest and Halloween displays. Kroger loads up its seasonal aisles with Halloween candy. The kids head back to school (yay!) and the pools close (boo!). Once these signs appear, we start preparing accordingly. You’ll notice that despite the scorching heat outside, your tweens and teens are suddenly wearing hoodies and jeans and women are out and about in denim jackets with giant scarves wrapped around their necks. Fake Fall you guys. We are here for it, global warming be damned.
The official dates of Fake Fall vary from region to region. Here in Nashville, Fake Fall begins September first and runs until at least mid-October. During Fake Fall, the rules dictate that we all dress in wool caps and cozy sweaters, add chenille throws and autumn-hued pillows to our home decor, bake pumpkin bread, toast marshmallows over a fire pit at night, switch our iced coffee drink orders to hot, and COMPLETELY ignore the fact that a heat advisory has just been issued for the next five days.
During this special time, if you happen to live in a place where it’s ACTUALLY cool in September, please keep your snarky comments about us to yourself. Allow us to celebrate the fact that we might not see another triple-digit heat index day for the rest of the year. Yes, we’re still sweating like pigs in our quilted bomber jackets and equestrian boots, but we are SAVORING THE SEASON, okay? Let. Us. Be.
After Fake Fall comes Actual Fall, which only runs a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving arrives and officially launches the holiday season. Since our winters here are pretty mild, we can expect things to stay somewhere between bearable and pleasant right up until July, when things get steamy and awful again… so you can understand why we’re all so excited right now.
Speaking of excited, I just looked at the forecast and temperatures aren’t supposed to hit 90 even ONCE over the next ten days. You can bet I’ll be dressed accordingly.
HAPPY FAKE FALL, Y’ALL!
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