>And Now You are Six
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The day you turned five, I thought my heart would crack wide open. I knew that five would be the year I’d have to start letting go of you. We’d been inseparable since the day you were born; how on earth would I ever learn to step back?
I quickly realized neither one of us had a choice in the matter. At five, you began asserting your independence in so many small ways, from literally and figuratively coloring outside the lines to asking a hundred thousand questions to giving up naptime to becoming an amateur photographer with the camera you received for your birthday.
Your self portraits maybe needed a little work. But everything else was brilliant!
At five, you soldiered on through what would be your final season of soccer. You learned to swim. You decided you were famous, but you didn’t care very much about it.
At five, your brain was constantly working overtime trying to figure out this thing called life- and you were so wise beyond your years. You taught me a hundred important life lessons. Whether I wanted to learn them or not.
At five, you began to realize life wasn’t always perfect. Someone you cared about died– and you’ve been piecing together an understanding of death ever since. You got Swine Flu– along with the rest of the family. You found out your sisters have a different mom. And I ruined your life for the first of what I’m sure will be many times to come.
While you were five, I packed our final school-less spring and summer together with dozens of outings and events. It was a magical time and I took so many pictures, wanting those moments to last forever.
Part of what made that time so special was that your two-year-old brother was finally old enough to become a bona fide playmate. The two of you really bonded this past year– which made it extra hard when you had to leave him behind.
Yes, despite my best efforts, the moment I’d been dreading your whole life finally happened. You started school. I still get teary-eyed thinking about it. But I did the best I could to make you look forward to this new chapter in your life. And true to form, even though you were nervous, you transitioned just fine– MUCH better than I did.
From then on, your life became a series of “firsts.” You went on your first field trip– and your first school bus ride. You lost your first (and second) tooth. You got your first crush. You learned to read– and watching you do it for the first time was one of the great moments of my life. You went sledding and loved it. And you, along with the rest of your school, became obsessed with the must-have toy of the season.
Both at school and at home, your fifth year was marked by your compassion, generosity and loving nature-characteristics I’m starting to believe will be part of your personality for life. Just the other day, I picked you up from school and asked you how your day was. “Fine,” you said, “but I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Already, you have a way of making those you love feel so special.
You were five and, despite a few small bumps in the road, life was very, very good.
And then a few days ago, you woke up and you were six.
You were six and your father and I brought pizza for your entire class in honor of your birthday. We read everyone your two favorite books and the kids roared when your Daddy read “Rumplestiltskin.” I’ve never seen you look prouder.
You were six, which meant that you got to stand on your chair while the whole class serenaded you with a happy birthday song. You were so delighted by the attention that I was thrilled to be there in that moment and quietly witness your shining face.
And yes, that’s you looking at your first crush, the boy you told me recently, you “sorta fell in love with.” You then went on to tell me, “Falling in love means you feel nervous around a person.”
If only it were that simple.
You were six. You are six. You’re such a big girl now!
But if I know anything, it’s this: No matter how old you are, you’ll always be my baby.
Always.
Happy Birthday, Punky. I love you with all my heart.
