The Devil Made Him Do It. Seriously.

With two small children in the house, Christmas is a major time for milestones.

A few nights ago, Dennis and I finally got around to wrapping all of the presents, after we’d gotten the kids in bed. The next morning, the children tumbled down the stairs to the Christmas tree, eager to inspect all of their gifts. “This one’s mines!” four-year-old Bruiser shouted after checking a label. “And this one! And this one!”

I realized suddenly that this was the first year he was able to read his own name on presents.

*cue strains of Sunrise, Sunset as Lindsay weeps softly*

It’s also the first year we haven’t had to worry about Bruiser ripping the wrapping off certain gifts before the big day. But don’t think it’s smooth sailing for us yet. Oh no. Bruiser has entirely new temptations now.

He’s a present peeper.

“I only saw onnnnne present last night,” he told me in a confiding tone after the kids had inspected their wrapped gifts.

“What?” I said. “You peeped when I was carrying everything downstairs? I told you to stay in your bed!”

“I saw one present,” he repeated. “It was the BARN.”

“Shhhhhhh,” I said, nervously glancing at Punky, who was busy shaking one of the gifts with her name on it. The ‘barn’ was actually a Melissa & Doug horse stable I’d found for a song on a flash sale site earlier in the year. Punky still loves playing with her horse collection, and she has never had a proper stable for them. It was one of the few presents under the tree that would be a total surprise. I held Bruiser by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. “That is a surprise for Punky,” I told him earnestly. “Please don’t tell her what it is. I want her to be SURPRISED.” Bruiser nodded and then ambled back over to the tree.

“Look, Punky,” he said slyly, putting one hand on top of the wrapped stable. “It’s a barn for you!”

This has continued over the last few days. When it comes to presents, Bruiser just can’t keep his big 4-year-old mouth shut. Two nights ago, we took the kids to Dollar Tree and let them each pick out presents for the whole family. When we got home, we sat down to wrap them, putting the kids at opposite ends of the room so that they wouldn’t see each others’ presents. This didn’t deter Bruiser.

“Look,” he said to his sister, holding up a bag of Spongebob candy. “I gotted this for you. Can I have some?”

A few minutes later, he sidled up to his dad. “I boughted you a flashlight,” he crowed, holding it out gleefully. “See?”

“You’re not supposed to tell me about that!” Dennis sputtered.

“I gotted it for you and I’m going to tell you about it,” Bruiser said stoutly.

The kid’s impossible. Impossible!

Worst of all, of course, is the fact that he keeps trying to peep at his own presents. This led to a taped confession, where he informed me that he was not responsible for his actions. Check this out:

Hands full, people.

Hands. Full.