>Almost Famous

It certainly wasn’t the kind of thing that normally appears in my inbox.

“Lindsay,” the e-mail read, “I read your newspaper column and blog and I’d like to talk to you about the possibility of appearing on The Tyra Banks Show.”

Yeah. For real. Ty Ra Banks, bitches.

The e-mail went on to tell me the topic the show would cover, a subject I had written about extensively not too long ago. Could I please call the producer ASAP? Well hell yeah, of course I could… except that it was 8:00 at night when I found the e-mail in my inbox.

No matter. I’d simply give her a call first thing the next morning. I spent the rest of that evening imagining a whirlwind trip to the Big Apple, where I’d stay in a fabulous hotel and take a limo to the show taping the next morning. I’d step out of the car, sign a few autographs, and head up to the green room for makeup and hair. Tyra would come in, totally excited to meet me.

“I’ve been reading your blog ever since my producer showed it to me!” she’d gush. “I think you might be my long lost best friend! And wow! Have you ever modeled?”

Next thing I knew, I’d be the Gayle to Tyra’s Oprah. She’d hire me on as her trusty sidekick, providing clever one liners on her talk show and even better, giving those smartmouthed model wannabes a dressing-down on America’s Next Top Model. Before I knew it, I’d have my own reality show on Bravo. Oh this was surely the start of something big!

The next morning, I rang up The Tyra Banks Show’s producer.

“Hello, this is Lindsay Ferrier! You e-mailed me yesterday about appearing on the show!”

“Oh yeah, hi. Unfortunately, we found someone else before you got back to us.” I paused, as a needle scratched across the LP soundtrack of my life.

“But I’ll keep you on my list,” the producer said soothingly. “Are you interested in being on a future show?”

“Yes, I’m interested!” I shrieked. “I am totally interested! I could not be more interested!!”

“Okay, great, that’s good to know!” she said brightly. “Bye.”

I hung up, once again a boring stay at home blogger who wouldn’t be going anywhere next week but the grocery.

I really need to check my e-mail more often.

This post originally appeared on Parents.com.