An End-of-Summer Letter to Teachers Everywhere

Dear Teachers,

As the end of the school year approached a few months ago, my Facebook feed began to fill with all of your jubilant updates, which mostly consisted of stuff like this…

I laughed right along with you, teachers. You deserved a break! And the truth was, I was glad to be getting my kids back. I had missed them while they were at school all day and was looking forward to spending lots and lots of time with them without having to worry about homework and projects and snacks and tardies and lunches and school supplies and field trips and class parties and PTA meetings and all of the other school-related things that encroach on our time together nine months out of the year.

And so, teachers, while you’ve been spending these last two months sleeping in, relaxing poolside, and sipping on frozen daiquiris (at least, I hope you’ve been doing those things), my kids and I have made the most of our time together. We’ve gone boating and blueberry picking and bike riding, splashed around in the pool, visited relatives and parks and museums, watched movies, stayed up late, read lots of books, held playdates and sleepovers, gone to camps and craft times and clubs and festivals, and a whole lot more. We’ve had a great time, teachers, and I was more than happy to contribute to their education while you got some much-deserved rest and relaxation. But now, I need you to do one thing for me in return.

I need you to take them back.

You see, a few days ago, I reached the very end of my list of things for us to do this summer– and it’s all gone downhill from there. It’s too hot to go hiking or biking, my summer budget is pretty much shot, our hair is turning green now from too many days at the pool, my house looks like some sort of monster vomited toys all over it, and if I have to tell my kids to GET OFF THE IPAD, I MEAN IT! one more time, I seriously think I’m going to lose it.

Between you and me, teachers, I’ve started having some pretty intense fantasies lately, and try as I might, I just can’t shake them. In one, I go to the supermarket… get this… all by myself. There are no kids tagging along, whining about how much they hate grocery shopping, or roughhousing in the frozen foods aisle. It’s just me. All by myself. Me. I get shivers now, just thinking about it.

Then there’s the one where my den is miraculously clean. The den is usually one of my favorite rooms in the house. This summer, though?

NOT SO MUCH.

There’s also one where I make (and keep!) a hair appointment.  And one where I go to the gym and work out. And I especially love the one where I get my own work done, uninterrupted, without feeling guilty about it.

But my favorite one is probably the one where the kids go to bed at 8:30 and my husband and I have some time all to ourselves. Gosh, I miss the days when my kids had a bedtime. Because bedtime? Bedtime was awesome.

And that’s when I realized, teachers, that if you’ll just take them back during the week and do that special teacher thing you do, all of my fantasies can become a reality! And I’m not just thinking of myself here! Far from it! I actually consider this to be as good for you as it is for me! I mean, I bet by now, you’re really missing all of your students, right? I bet you’re getting really tired of lazing around all day, without a care in the world! You need to be teaching stuff! IT’S IN YOUR BONES, TEACHERS! I’m sure you’re just itching to be back in that classroom, doing what you do best. And just to let you know how much I care about your well-being, I’m going to let you have my kids back for the next ten months so you can fill their heads with all that information you’ve been specially trained to share with them! TEN MONTHS, teachers!! THAT’S HOW MUCH I BELIEVE IN YOU! TEN! LONG! MONTHS!

I’m glad we had this talk! I’m feeling much better now.

I’m sure you are, too.

Fondly,

Lindsay Ferrier

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