>”Oh my,” I said drily as we pulled into a packed bookstore parking lot at 11:30 last night. “Did you see that grown man in the Hogwarts robe? He even has a stuffed owl on his shoulder!” My stepdaughters snorted in the backseat. “I have an idea,” I said, turning around. “Let’s drive by the […]
July 21, 2007
>I was a total disaster. I coughed and sneezed into a ragged Kleenex, sniffed loudly, rubbed my eyes red and raw and looked mournfully at the airplane passengers filing past me. “I’ve been sick for three months now!” I said loudly to Hubs as a passing fat man eyed the empty seat between us. “Will […]
July 20, 2007
>“I’m going to write a Nashville Scene column about what happened when I had Punky tested for the gifted program,” I told Hubs. “What?” he asked incredulously. “You’re going to tell everyone what you did? You can’t write about that!” “Oh yeah?” I said. “Watch me.” Read this week’s column below… She’s with Stupid Every […]
July 19, 2007
> In my mind, when I teach my children about serious issues like God and death and where babies come from, we’re sitting at the kitchen table, bathed in the warm, filtered light of an after-school special. I’ve carefully thought out my words well in advance and recite them with the practiced ease of an […]
July 18, 2007
>I am learning some things about myself on this vacation at the in-laws’ house, one being that I talk to myself in piratese. I might never have realized this surprising fact if it hadn’t been for the baby monitor, perpetually left on in our bedroom to pick up Bruiser’s sounds during his naps. The receiver […]
July 17, 2007
> “You’re just the person I wanted to see,” I told my 16-year-old grimly as she came through the front door on a recent afternoon. She attempted an innocent smile. “Remember that talk we had about keeping your windows closed when the air conditioner’s on? Especially when it’s 90 degrees outside?” “Oh, yeah,” she said […]
July 16, 2007
>”Oh look at this place, girls!” I said at an LA shopping mall today. I read the name over the storefront aloud. “X-X-I. Oh my gosh, it looks just like Forever 21 inside!” “Uh, Lindsay, it is Forever 21,” my 16-year-old said. “It is?” I said disbelievingly. “But it says X-X… Oh. Uh…. Don’t tell […]
July 14, 2007
> “Did I tell you that Little Ansley was asked to join the All-City Dance Team?” I jumped before recognizing the owner of that shrill and grating voice beside me. “You know,” I said, turning with an irritated smile to face Donita, “I think you did.” “Well, I wasn’t surprised,” she smirked as I turned […]
July 12, 2007
My in-laws’ house in LA is built on a hill, about 50 feet away from a steep drop into a large ravine. The view is breathtaking and their small backyard patio is Punky’s favorite place to be when she’s here- but with no backyard fence, my trips to LA aren’t complete without about 1,000 horrific […]
July 12, 2007
> She likes candlelight and often skips lunch. She loves the movie “Pretty in Pink.” She knows a lot about knitting and she’s learning to paint. I know more about the mother of my stepdaughters than nearly anyone, yet we’ve hardly ever said more than a few words to each other. If you live in […]
July 11, 2007
