For most stay-at-home moms, naptime is the most anticipated time of the day. During this hopefully-fingers-crossed-pray-to-God-at-least-two-hour time period, a mother is free to do whatever she wants, so long as she’s quiet. She can read In Touch magazine, for example, or indulge in some long division. She can knit or blog or revise her treatise […]
October 21, 2005
I’ve been looking for some motivation to go on a diet. And I find that the best weight-loss catalyst for me generally is provided, unintentionally, by others. In the past, an offhand remark has been known to send me from pushing chubby to pushing anorexic. And while I will never go that far again, I […]
October 20, 2005
I grew up on the water. We lived in a small town cradled by an immense, man-made lake and, like every other newly-divorced father in town, my dad eventually bought a dilapidated pontoon boat, with a flat, carpeted roof that was perfect for sunbathing and high diving. Generally, the kids would go up top while […]
October 16, 2005
When I heard her conditions, I couldn’t resist. Available any time, day or night. Will accept room and board in lieu of payment. Promises to assist you in any and every matter. I hired her on the spot. My personal assistant is so very dedicated, she literally has become my shadow. People even say she […]
October 15, 2005
I think my 14-year-old stepdaughter secretly considers herself to be a suburban Madonna. And forget about Big M’s Sex book, her decidedly un-virginal rolling around on a bed in concert, and her recent weird morph into a Maeve Binchey character. I’m talking about Madge’s uncanny, historically-documented ability to find and wear a trend a full […]
October 9, 2005
At the tender age of 1 1/2, I can already tell that Baby is gonna be a Talker. She spends all of her waking hours jabbering away, whether she’s “reading” to herself in her room or playing with her toys or having long imaginary conversations on the telephone (but put an actual person on the […]
October 8, 2005
My husband has a very subtle way of reminding me it’s time to do laundry. “I think we’re finally going to have enough money to get a digital Rebel,” I’ll say as we’re chatting one day in the kitchen (that would be a camera, y’all, not a redneck robot). “Yeah,” he’ll reply casually. “Now that […]
October 3, 2005
I like to tell people that I don’t have enemies. But that’s not exactly true. I do have an enemy, one who is so perfectly awful that I’ve launched a campaign to ruin her name among the members of my immediate family. She is known to most as The School Crossing Guard. But I’ll just […]
September 30, 2005
