Being a soccer mom is so much harder than you’d think. It’s not easy remembering to bring 18 Little Debbies and Capri Suns to the Tuesday away game against the Bumbleville Buzzards. It’s no picnic realizing the dead animal stench radiating from your laundry closet (uncomfortably close to the kitchen table) is coming from a […]
September 2, 2005
I’ve already admitted I’m a snoop. But my snooping doesn’t extend only to my husband. Oh no, I snoop on the baby (well, that’s justified I guess- I’m a little worried that she’s going to stuff the “I” from her new foam alphabet somewhere it doesn’t belong), I snoop on the neighbors across the street […]
August 31, 2005
Like all of you, I’ve been watching Katrina coverage with interest– the wind, the rain, the flooding, the reporters-risking-their-lives-and-for-what?!-for-WHAT?! I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that Katrina was headed our way, but we’re comfortably inland- as in, several states from any ocean. So I wasn’t exactly worried about it. But by yesterday […]
August 30, 2005
Perhaps some child psychoanalyst out there can explain this to me. Because I am at a loss. Me: Breakfast? 16-month-old Baby: Best? Me: Lunch? Baby: Lohnsh? Me: Dinner! Baby: Din! Me: Breakfast? Baby: (pause). Best? Me: Lunch? Baby: Nose? Me: Dinner! Baby: Nose! Me: No, Dinner! Baby: Nose! Me: (sigh). Breakfast? Baby: Nnnnnnoooosssseee? Me: No. […]
August 27, 2005
I stumbled across a blog today detailing the daily physical and emotional abuse of a young wife by her husband and couldn’t tear my eyes away. I wanted to go over there with a pack of women and beat the shit out of the dude with vacuum cleaner parts. You might think I’m joking, but […]
August 19, 2005
We have a new addition to our family of five: Beece. “Beece!” Baby shouts each morning when she wakes up. “Beece!” she cries, looking around her before settling down with her bottle. “Beece,” she says mournfully during play time, searching under tables and around corners. She’s not satisfied until I’ve located Beece and brought her […]
August 17, 2005
My husband is your basic Alpha Male. He insists on facing the door when we dine out in case trouble walks in. He’s trained and licensed to carry a baton and always has it on hand to fend off would-be carjackers and thugs. He lifts weights and carries all the heavy stuff and he teaches […]
August 13, 2005
I met a friend at the library today for Children’s Story Time and spent an entire hour afterward standing and talking to her in the lobby. Actually, talking is the wrong word for it. What we were really doing was bitching. We bitched about everything and I do mean everything. We started out bitching about […]
August 10, 2005
Every subdivision in America has at least one Neighbor with a Park for a Front Yard. Ours was Earl. Earl spent hours trimming and pruning and weeding and aerating and sweeping and clipping and mulching and, very occasionally, crouching and enjoying his Park/Yard. He mowed his grass in a certain length and direction so that […]
August 9, 2005
