>Because There’s No Such Thing as Pageant Overkill *Updated at the Bottom of the Post!*
>As many of you know, I have a special fondness in my heart for beauty pageants. But why should Miss America and Miss World get all the attention….
…when there’s Miss Meat Pie in Natchitoches, Louisiana?
Or the lovely Worm Gruntin’ Queen in Sopchoppy, Florida?
And who could forget Miss Hell Hole Swamp in Jamestown, South Carolina, particularly when one of my readers is a former Miss Hell Hole Swamp herself?
Thank God not all pageants require a pretty face… In Yellville, Arkansas, Miss Drumsticks competes with her face and body all covered up; only her legs are scored. Now that’s Progress!
And if death by rattlesnake is your thing, there’s a pageant for you, too! In Sweetwater, Texas, Miss Snake Charmer takes her life into her own hands.
While in Atlanta, Miss Klingon Empire proves that looks actually can kill.
Could it be that my pageant obsession stems from a shameful secret from my own past???
Okay, I cannot tell a lie. I was never Miss Feed and Grain 1979… Unless you count Halloween 1994. Loved your guesses on what the sash says, though!
>WHAT DOES THAT RIBBON SAY?!?!?!?!?!?! The glare…the glare!!!!
>Hmmmmm. Now that your grandmother is reading your secrets could be outed at any moment. Is that what prompts this sudden disclosure?And I didn’t even know that the Miss Klingon Empire Pageant was moved to Atlanta this year.Enjoyable post, as usual.
>Your pageant picture is pretty. What’s eerie is how little you’ve changed over time….
>Does that say Miss GOOD AND GROWING???? ROFL!
>wow talk about a scary photo! That last pic…looks a little like you…great pic!You are smokin!!yessiree, I could really go on and on about how beautiful the girl in that pic is…Really!
>I thought it said Miss Food and GROIN! HAhahahaha…Suddenly, Lindsay, this is all making sense for us. We expect a follow up explanation of that picture, mah’ dear…
>When was that picture taken? You look exactly the same!
>Yeah…I’m with diana… what does the ribbon say????
>Ha! ROFL! What year is that? Damn girl, you haven’t changed very much – for that I must spend the next 10 minutes green with envy.
>I think I’m heading to Arkansas. I KNOW I could win MRS. Drumstix and I want that big-ass trophy!
>simply amazing.
>Yowza, that is some crown on Miss Meat Pie! And yeah, what does that ribbon say?
>I’m thinking it’s time to start up a blogging pageant…in which we crown ourselves the name of our choice.I’m “Miss Biggbutt Turkey Legs Big Ol’ Smile!”And Miss Lindsay could be “Miss Hawt-mom Who Really Writes for a Living.”…wait, maybe that’s her Indian name…
>I could be crowned Queen and HIgh Ruler of All Dust Bunnies:)
>Is there a Mommyblogger pageant? If not, let’s just crown you and get it over with! Lovely.
>This was a funny post. True.
>You never cease to get me to laugh out loud. Not at you, of course…
>Oh, do tell……pleeze..
>All we can get off the ribbon is, “Miss Yes, I…” Yes, you WHAT?!?We just found out that Miss Arkansas USA this year is from our hometown, and is actually currently serving IN THE AIR FORCE! Beyond shocked, we are. Needless to say, her AF assignment is in Public Relations. I’m betting she’s an effective recruiting tool.
>And just what are you telling us?!I like the idea of Miss Klingon Empire.
>(shh) I think I dated Miss Klingon once. (I had a low-self esteem and the title seemed cool)
>That Klingon Empire Queen was too good to be true. What a hoot.
>The iron in the background is a nice touch.
>I thought the iron would be a dead giveaway. :)Good observation there, Jennifer.
>Miss Food and Dining?? Am I close?!
>considering your lack of aging in the last 12 years, I was thinking you were Ms. Dorian Gray or something like that…nice pic!
>Julia Reed’s Queen of the Turtle Derby-You have probably read it-but in case you haven’t your post is a reason to do so! The Miss Catfish Pageant she holds on the Florida beach for her niece and much to the horror of the yuppies who reside there is a story you must relate to!
>I entered my hish school pageant as a joke and came in third. I actually had the girls who cared yelling at me because I “took” another girl’s spot. Nothing more hilarious than the grunge loving drama freak placing in the beauty pageant 🙂
>Well, you COULDA been somebody….
>OK…I have seen it all. There is a pageant for everything!I am still laughing at the curmudgeon’s comment about your grandmother.
>Even with feed & grain across your chest (heh), you’re still absolutely stunning! And I was kinda hoping it was real. 🙁
>I’m cracking up. I’ve actually been to Natchitoches, Louisiana to see the Christmas lights display – when we were stationed nearby – and have had a meat pie – which was to die for, btw – but I didn’t realize there was a Miss Meat Pie! Nice pic, Miss Feed and Grain! LOL
>:o) Hey!!! Are you at it a-gain?? (It’s like a train wreck, you don’t want to look but you just have to dont’cha??) Miss Hell Hole Swamp here, lurking on the sidelines as usual. Now, let’s not forget a couple of the pageants I lost on my way to reigning over my dominions in the swamp… – Miss Chitlin strut (Miss Pig Guts in translation)- Miss Tobacco festival (talk about how politically incorrect can you get?? And as the Rice Festival queen…I have to admit one hasn’t lived until they’ve battled the “clown” shriners in a parade – Rice VS WATER ;o) The icing on the cake is that the same year I was Miss Hell Hole Swamp, I went back to my old high school’s prom with a lovely young man who went on to become one of the prettiest drag queens you ever did see…. (It’s just a theory but I think the whole swamp thing was pretty intimidating to the opposite sex!)BTW I’ll send you a tiara if you really want want one!! (I think we have a few spares) Now for your title….
>Are you sure it doesn’t say Miss Fiesty and Giddy?
>This is why we love ya, Lindsay!! You’re such a nut!
>I actually don’t have any children, but I read your blog religiously, and I find it hysterical. Keep up the good work. Your stamina for writing witty things is impressive.
>I once dated a young lady who went on to become Miss Queen Of The Prairie. I still have her autographed headshot.
>Miss Feed and Grains, 1979!You RAWK[ed]!.