>Do You Let Your Kids Call Adults by Their First Names?

>”Hi Dennis,” a voice said on our answering machine not long ago, “This is Sarah. I had a few questions about soccer practice, so if you don’t mind giving me a call back, that would be great! Thanks, Dennis.”

Sarah is 16.

“That sounds a little weird, doesn’t it?” Hubs asked me. “That she just uses my first name like that? I mean, I don’t mind Coach Dennis at all, but just– Dennis?”

“It’s totally inappropriate,” I said. “But how do you tell that to a 16-year-old without sounding really… awkward?”

We’ve had this conversation more times than I can count. Many of my stepdaughters’ friends call my husband by his first name. One even refers to him as ‘Denny.’

Lots of their friends call me by my first name, too, but that’s different- My stepdaughters refer to me as Lindsay, so it makes sense to me that their friends would, too. I’m not going to press that issue. But my husband is 49-years-old.

He’s a Mr. if I ever saw one.

And suddenly, as my own children get older, it’s becoming an issue for me, too.

The kids’ favorite teenage nursery worker at the YMCA calls me Lindsay, which feels a little weird. But the real kicker occurred when one of Punky’s six-year-old friends came over for a playdate last week.

“Hey Lindsay,” she said a few minutes after she’d arrived. “I’d like some juice.”

I was flabbergasted and said nothing, even after she called me Lindsay a few more times, but after she’d left, I had a sit-down meeting with my daughter.

“You know that you never, ever call an adult by their first name, right?” I asked sternly.

“I know that, Mommy,” she said.

“You say ‘Miss’ Laura or ‘Miss’ Sally,” I said. “Or you can use their last name, like your teacher at school, and say, “Mrs. Anderson or Mr. Anderson. In fact, if it’s a daddy, you should probably just use his last name, always.”

“I do,” Punky said. “I always do.”

“I know,” I said. “I was just reminding you.”

A few days ago, Punky’s friend returned. At one point, Bruiser fell down and skinned his knee and she ran over to see the aftermath.

“You really should have been watching him more closely, Lindsay,” she said as I sprayed Bruiser’s knee with Bactine and bandaged it. “He’s only three.”

Enough was enough.

“It’s MISS Lindsay,” I said. “MISS. And I was watching him. Three-year-olds fall down sometimes.”

She looked at me, agape.

“Okay,” she said.

I smiled at her. “Thanks, sweetie,” I said, realizing by her face that I was dangerously close to becoming “Mean Old MISS Lindsay.”

So now I put this issue to you. Are you a Miss, Mr. or Mrs. to your kids’ friends, or are you comfortable with allowing them to call you by your first name? Am I just being old fashioned? And how do you feel about your own children calling other adults by their first names?

I always thought Mrs. Ferrier sounded old and fussy– Suddenly, though, it doesn’t seem half-bad…