>Fall Fashion Heralds Return of the Mom. And the 75-year-old Substitute Teacher.
>The moms have been speaking and finally, finally the New York designers are listening. It’s Fall Fashion Week in New York and Vivienne Tam, Oscar de la Renta, Heatherette, Marc Jacobs, Anna Sui and Betsey Johnson all clearly have Mothers on their Minds! Here are a few of my favorites:
Get rid of the guilt you’ve been feeling for driving the kids to school in your robe. You were just ahead of the trend, honey! This fall, feel free to wear that housecoat wherever you damn well please.
You can also stop worrying about that botched Lisa Rinna ‘do you’ve been sporting around Publix. Soon, Bad Hair Days will be a thing of the past!
This ginormous turtleneck actually doubles as a purse- Perfect for the young mother who needs to keep her hands free for Baby!
Fall 2007 gives moms an uber-trendy use for all those expensive building blocks and that jump rope littering the bottom of the toy box!
And don’t just throw away the boys’ used shoelaces… Use them to make a Fall 2007 Fashion Statement!
Taking a quick trip to the beach? At last, a bathing suit that camoflages all a mother’s problem areas!
And there’s good news for elementary school classroom aides, too! Holiday sweaters are in! In! In!
Looking for a fashionable way to cover up your saggy boobs, pot belly, back fat, cellulite, childbearing hips, bubble butt, dimpled thighs, varicose veins, knock knees, cankles, corns, calluses and bunions? This fall, you’ll have your answer!
Did you forget to put your bras in the dryer again? In Fall 2007, it will be nooooo problem!
Helpful hint: When choosing an outfit this fall, ask yourself, Would my 75-year-old substitute teacher have worn this? If the answer is Yes, by all means, put it on!
Even your grandmother’s closet can be raided for Fall 2007’s hottest trends!
And don’t forget about the 1985 designer velour collection your mom refused to throw out. She was only thinking ahead- Way ahead!
Working moms have particular reason to celebrate: Now their preschoolers can help them choose their business attire! What fun!
Photos courtesy Yahoo.com
>Yet again, your comments are right on! What the HELL is happening in NYC??? Are those designers having too many cocktail playdates??? That red circus tent is so over the top! Scary!
>TG I can finally afford HIGH FASHION…it’s just a quick trip to the nearest Salvation Army! My favorite was the mutilated teacher sweater. I’m SOO getting me one of those! Or the Nipple Lady shirt. The Man would love that!
>I’ve been reading the Fug Girls’ take on fashion week and I had to wonder what these bat shit crazy designers were thinking. Now I know! I guess we should all be flattered they are finally keeping moms in mind.
>Too hilarious!
>You crack me up! Thank you for sharing a good laugh on a cold day!
>Ooh – and it looks like the “too tired to put on makeup” look is also making a comeback.Finally! Toddler Teething is a beauty must-have!
>Ugh! The 80’s weren’t cool the first time around. But I guess they are now! That sweater looks like something a kids’ class knit together! They all made a piece for it.
>Christ on a cracker.Now I don’t feel bad about wearing a sweat shirt and coffee stained jeans to playgroup today. I still looked better than that. (Especially with my snazzy new haircut!)
>Blee-yeck!! Wheeze!! Cough!! Gag!! At least I know what to do with all the stuff I cleaned out of the garage now…
>I could actually see the red tent dress working — if it weren’t *quite* so voluminous. And is it bad that I liked the turquoise and purple velour number? And I LOVED the pink shoes and tights. LOVED. Even if a 4 year old could wear them. Otherwise, yeah. Who ever knew your substitute teacher was actually so hip?
>That turtleneck is awesome… a great crumb catcher.I found your site by accident – following a link to a link and so on…I have followed your column in the Scene and love it – am glad that I found your site.
>I am so happy the Fug Girls are back in action at Fashion Week. I love having LOTS of fashion trainwrecks to laugh about.
>Having been pregnant twice and having nursed two children, I can state emphatically just how awesome my rack would look in that see-through number. And crikey! Velour? Don’t these designers know that anything from the 80s – be it skinny jeans or parachute pants or shoulder pads or velour – will never, ever look right or good or fashionable?
>Woo hoo! Red pleather flats! I’m soooo cool again!
>Fantastic! It answers all my fashion needs.
>Okay, but I need to say how much I love those red flats. Me, me, give them to ME!
>Hey! Who took pictures of my clothes without my permission? I wear that see through shirt all the time. It is great here at the office.Seriously, where is the judgment of these designers? Fourth grader fantasy? Or is that too high?
>Thanks for a good laugh. I needed that as I ignore my daughter’s tantrum.
>ohmygawd, do real people actually wear that stuff? I hope not. It is truly hideous.
>I was laughing so hard, I was crying! This is hysterical. Very, very funny. Thanks–I needed a laugh!