>He’s Really Stepped In It This Time
>To Whom It May Concern:
I try to run a fairly loose household, one without too many rules and regulations for everyone to follow, but there are a few unwritten “assumptions” that I like to think go without saying. One is that you close an outside door behind you after you’ve opened it. Another is that you flush the toilet once you’ve finished your business in the bathroom. And then there’s the unwritten assumption that if you take a small child out in the backyard and she steps in dog poo, you are responsible for getting the poo off of her shoes.
Not me.
You.
Simply leaving her crap-crusted shoes on the garage steps and saying nothing? That’s annoying. Particularly since they are my three-year-old’s only pair of pink shoes and, if you haven’t noticed, almost all of her clothes are predominantly pink. I’m assuming you’re under the impression that if you leave the shoes there long enough, I’ll eventually crack under the irritation of pairing red shoes with a frilly pink sundress, and will end up scraping off the now-hardened-to-rock-consistency poo myself.
Heh. No.
Instead, I’ll show you what I’ve been looking at lately on the Internet.
These adorable little Umi sandals retail for $55. Yes, I know Punky’s current pair of pinks cost just $15 at Target, but I wholeheartedly believe in the concept of trading up. Especially when, you know, dog poo is involved.
So I’m giving you three days, Mr. Towhomitmayconcern. Three. If the poo is not scraped off by Sunday at high noon (and by the way, I’ve found the disposable shish kebob sticks in the top kitchen drawer do a great job of getting dog poop out of the grooves of a child’s shoe sole, something I learned from cleaning off Punky’s shoes on the occasions that I took her outside and she stepped in shit.), I’m adding (at least!) one pair of these shoes to my online cart.
Hugs!
Lindsay
>and this is why I love reading your blog…you’re better than i am though…i’d have gone out and bought the shoes already and not given him the choice…on a side note: I really love those pink Juicy ballet flats…my girl twin would look adorable in them….
>Holy Hell, batman! $95 for a pair of kids shoes! ??Admittedly, those Juicy Couture ballet flats are super cute but at the rate my daughters feet grow uh…not worth it.
>I feel certain that Towhomitmayconcern will see the light before I have to push the order button… 😉
>brilliant!
>No, no, no… why are you going bargain basement? I like these:http://www.styledrops.com/handbags-24279.html
>Bwahahaha!Good for you. Always trade up. ALWAYS.
>well played!
>LOL – I can’t get my co-workers to do most of those things!At least hardened dog poo smells a bit less than the fresh stuff.Why stop at shoes? Why not a little pair of pink rainboots so she can stomp through the poo without ruining her good shoes? A hat and umbrella to match, and a new dress…
>That’s just it. She has rainboots. Two pairs. Technically, she’s supposed to be wearing them when she plays in the backyard, specifically because of aforementioned dog poo. Instead, inexplicably, she was wearing her only pair of pink mary janes…
>Yeah! We’re mad as hell about dog poo and we’re not gonna take it anymore!
>A nice follow up would be finding a poop stained kebab skewer back in the kitchen drawer. “Hey, I didn’t use the pointy part!”
>you go girl – trade up and my motto is to keep an extra pair for just such emergencies..I’m thinking the sandals AND and the bedazzled Converse as you never know what kind of mood a 3-year-old will be in…hugs
>You write about poop alot : )Love the blog
>desperately trying to figure out how to send this to my hubs as a preventative measure….think it’ll work?
>Surprisingly, my Husband actually cleaned the poo last time without even being asked.I thought he had a fever.
>Remind me never to have the shish kebab at your house.
>That’s why at our house there is a huge laundry basket full of old flip-flops and hand-me-down shoes that are specifically for wearing outside.My 4 and 6 year old girls both know about the “outside shoes” and don’t dare go in the backyard in anything else.That way if a poop incident occurs we just throw those shoes away. No big loss!!
>I’m betting this does the trick!
>I like the way you think.I may have to borrow this trick if it is successful. Hehe.
>I will be using this particular entry as a “form letter” for those times when my whomitmayconcern crosses the non-verbalized line. THANK YOU!
>I want to hear from Hubs!
>Nice, you are now my blackmail wife hero and this whole time I thought I had the market cornered; nothing like a little public humiliation to up the ante.I bow to the master.
>what you need is Lelli Kelly shoes…Pink, Bling and EXPENSIVE…MY favorite…though I haven’t yet broken down and bought a pair yet!http://www.zappos.com/n/es/d/722211734/page/1.html
>Sadly, dads don’t usually understand what the big deal is about pairing red shoes with pink outfits – same color family right? I have tried posts like these, granted usually directed at my children and not spouse, and they usually don’t work. I say push the button. PUSH IT!
>Tell Towhomitmayconcern to just toss them in the washing machine. The poo will come off in the wash. Then let them air dry.
>Unfortunately, they don’t recommend doing that with leather…Also, I don’t want a dog poo-contaminated washer/dryer. In fact, that’s the last thing I need.
>Now, make sure you do it. Also, you might suggest they clean up the poop too!
>Those shoes are adorable! Even more important – those prices are high enough to ensure that poop-removing action takes place before Sunday. Good work!
>You are brilliant.
>I think you’re going to be buying those $95 shoes you like:Lemme ‘splain…No, there is too much.Lemme sum up.Even on dad’s best day: the dog poo is on the bottom of the shoe; the part that comes into contact with other surfaces outside the most. These surfaces include grass and concrete, wood, and dirt which, while not really great abrasives will, given enough time, wear the dog poo out of the grooves of the shoe. And dog poo grows less smelly and sticky given enough time.For some of us, if something equivalent to “clean” will happen in the future on its own with no effort, then we really needn’t use up our reservoir of elbow grease at all, need we? :}On dad’s worst day? Someone else will get it….(Note: This generalization does not apply in those cases where Dad stays home and has to decide between poo-shoes in pink and non-poo shoes in red when all of the clothing is pink; said sahd will bust out the spare toothbrush and scrub for an hour.)
>Little kid shoes are so darn cute.
>Oh this is GREAT! LOLAnd I agree, Punky DEFINITELY needs some Lelly Kelly shoes! My daughter’s been dying for them but that damn commercial gets on my ever last nerve!
>Ooh, Backpacking Dad, you make an excellent argument, but I’ve got the Bruiser factor in my favor. Because Bruiser grabs any shoe he can find and before you can even get over to him, he’s put the sole directly in his mouth. So MY Towhomitmayconcern really has no excuse not to scour those shoes until every last bit of poo is gone!
>Also, I have never heard of Lelly Kelly shoes until now. And I pray that my three-year-old NEVER hears of them. Yeegh! I mean, they’re totally cute, but the price! The price!
>Yeah, I wasn’t really looking for a way out for Towhomitmayconcern, or presenting an argument on his behalf; it was more of an insight into the way his mind might work, and how the end result of that cogitation, even on his best day, might be a $95 pair of shoes.:}
>I think you should get all three – you did say her clothes were predominately pink didn’t you. A girl has to have choices.
>$10 high tops from walmart$2 bottle of gem tac from walmart$8 gross of swarovski crystalsglue stones in pattern of preference on high tops – hearts are super easy and lil girls love ’em$20 worst case.HTH
>I think the new pink converse that I got for my daughter at Target are awesome. Only $29 bucks. I cant complain there. Hopefully she will be able to wear them for a while without destroying them or growing out of them too quickly
>Oh, you are so deliciously wicked. Remind me to look you up when I turn 21, we’ll go out for drinks together!
>This is hilarious. I think I may have to modify this letter for my own Towhomitmayconcern.
>Towhomitmayconcern read this last night and swears he’s gotten “like 95%” of the poo off of the shoes.Unfortunately, 95% isn’t good enough.
>OOhhhh somebody’s in trouble…I just love your blog!
>LOL…use the economic lash of reason 😉
>So, I was reading this to my husband and what he got out of all of it was: “wait, she uses the shish kabobs for cleaning poo, doesn’t she know their for cooking?”….and of course, I told him he’s missing the point….backpacking dad…i think i love you….i was so siked to see you chime in.
>Hey, Surburban Turmoil MommyLoving you blog, and the Lelly Kelly shoes. In England the advert’s on telly all the time, so much so I find myself singing it, then wonder why my own daughter wants a pair. Plus they come with their own make up, for pre-schoolers! Fancy changing links? Bevhttp://tattyhousehastings.blogspot.com
>I should add that those shish kebob sticks are DISPOSABLE. I thought that went without saying. We have a big pack of about a hundred and I use them for everything, including cake testing.
>I agree that shoes that expensive are not exactly smart buys when they only fit growing kids for a few months…but I have to say that it sounds like a fair deal.He cleans the dog poo or the credit card gets it. Hehe.