Hoochieween
Halloween is coming, moms, and if you have daughters, I’ll bet you just can’t wait!
The spookiest day of the year is a wonderful opportunity to empower your girls by letting them dress up as the strong, smart women they all hope to be some day.
Here are just a few fabulous options:
Has your little Sweetums always dreamed of piloting her own 747? Then she’ll go nuts over this Pilot Cutie Tween Costume!
It comes with a pilot’s cap and a curve-hugging, skin baring dress that’s exactly like what she’ll be wearing if she’s a REAL pilot some day– on Hugh Hefner’s private jet!
Perhaps your Preshus Punkin dreams of one day running her own ranch. If so, you can’t go wrong with this Bratz Cowgirl Child Costume! The midriff top and barely-there skirt guarantee all the cowhands will pay attention to their boss!
Of course, those cowboys will need a place to unwind when their work is done– If ranching isn’t her thing, your daughter might want to consider running her own saloon! This Saloon Girl Teen Costume will give her a feel for the career! And if she has questions about exactly what the job entails, well… I’ll leave that to you to explain!
What little girl doesn’t dream of becoming a Geisha some day? This Geisha Tween Girls Costume will give your eleven-year-old a head start on making her dreams of serving men for a living come true!
Hey, someone’s gotta clean up– and this ‘Maid to Tease’ Teen Costume makes the job seem a lot more fun to an impressionable 13-year-old, don’t you think?
Fighting fires is one of the toughest careers a girl can choose– particularly if she’s planning to wear fishnets and a short skirt while she does it! This Sweetheart Fighter Girls Costume will give her a taste of what she’s in for!
Perhaps talking down a meth head who’s holding an entire family hostage is more your daughter’s thing- In that case, she might opt for this SWAT Officer Tween Costume! Hey, there’s no reason she can’t look SASSY while dodging bullets!
Let your six-year-old Snookums show the mateys who’s in charge with this Pretty Pirate Captain Girls Costume!
And if she still doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up, how about letting her dress as her favorite doll? This Monster High Lagoona Blue Girls Costume features a micro mini skirt and super-high platform heels and is sized to fit five year olds.
And if she prefers Bratz dolls, this Bratz Cloe Halloween Costume, available at Toys R Us, will make your little one feel all grown up on Halloween night! A size small fits 4-6 year olds, so that even your preschooler can get hoochified!
Think your daughter’s too innocent for these costumes? Just put her in this demure Pixie Fairy Tween Costume and protect her purity for another year!
And if you only have boys and you’re feeling left out? Two words that will turn your frown upside down:
You’re welcome.
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Top image via Alaskan Dude/Flickr
Holy CRAP! I thought it was bad enough that the only women’s costumes were sexed up. Wow.
Hmm…all I see are some bare arms and legs. I’ve seen more revealing Easter dresses, not to mention cheerleader outfits or swimsuits.
Hopefully, you are kidding.
No he isn’t. Really? Get over it already.
I don’t think anyone is saying that they find them sexy. Accentuating body parts that are viewed in a sexual way in our culture (midriff, legs, chest, and butt via high heels) not only gives the impression that the child is being put on sexual display, but is otherwise demeaning in that boys’ costumes generally resemble the actual uniform/equipment that a person in that profession wears. They are trying on a profession/ identity. Meanwhile, the girls costumes conjure up a different sentiment: awww she’s got a firefighter costume on, but we all know she’ll never be a firefighter, she’s merely here to be looked at, admired for physical beauty only. I hope you will give this some thought.
I don’t think these costumes are good at all, but yeah it’s true, even a one-piece swimsuit is more revealing. And yet a lot of people don’t have a problem with their six-year-olds wearing that!
Nope, I’m not kidding at all. The last one on the page is a bit much, with the semi-cleavage thing going on, but the rest of them are not revealing at all. They’re basically just sleeveless with mini-skirts, and some aren’t even that. Girls were wearing clothing as revealing as that to school when I was that age 25-30 years ago.
True, but these costumes conjure up connections to strippers or fantasy night costumes. I’m not a fan of parading our girls’ bodies around, and I can’t understand why dads are okay with it — it’s demeaning and objectifying. Oh well, call me Amish.
Nothing about adolescent girls in skirts conjures up strippers to me. That’s probably something you should evaluate within yourself.
Seriously? Teen girls in hooker fish nets don’t conjure strippers? How about the fact that I don’t know any genuine SWAT members who wear short skirts? Even if the costumes aren’t revealing, they are ridiculous.
This isn’t 1940. Strippers don’t wear fishnets any more often than regular women do.
He’s not. That’s the sad part.
I was wondering just the other day if you were going to do the costumes again this year. You did not disappoint! 😉 It is tragically funny. It’s hard to believe these costumes even exist!
These are horrific. I’ve seen some cute DIY costumes on Pinterest. Maybe that’s the only reasonable course of action. Very upsetting.
Target sold the banana costume my 9 year tried it one then said ” huh I better not be a banana mom ..it looks inappropriate” I said you “right son lets pick something else out” My son left with a gorilla costume.
Omg lmao banana boy
Try looking up cartoon characters like Strawberry Shortcake. It’s messed up.
PS. This is my gripe every.single.year. as I try to find costumes for my little ones (who are 6&4) – so thanks for doing an entire post about it.
I’m so glad my teen wants to be Doctor Who, or a Weeping Angel. Pretty covered up.
My 7 then 6 year old went as a weeping angel. Super scary and very covered up
Nice!
My three year old daughter wanted to be a cyberman, but it is sort of short notice and I have no idea how to make it. So she is going as a Superhero instead. 😉
I agree tragically over the edge…..
My daughter wants to go as something called a “twurker” or something like that and said she wanted to make sure she had a “sweet camel toad”. Does anyone know what these are? She won’t tell me, so I think it may be inappropriate, but I’m not sure.
It’ not a camel toad, it’s a camel “toe.” You know what a gal with extra tight jeans looks like from the front with the seam going up into the croch and showing the split. It’s pretty bad. How old is your daughter? If she is 18 or younger, I would hope you wouldn’t let her out of the house wearing tight jeans like that. Besides, it’s unhealthy because of possible yeast infections and bladder infections. Hope this helps. It’s pretty bad what is happening with our young children. Stay strong…you need to have endurance to get through the teenage years and beyond.
And I would google twerking. Its sad to think being a twerker is what kids want to be for Halloween. I would definitely suggest looking things up if you do not know what they are , especially if she is not wanting to tell you.
I always try to look things up but the web is so confusing. Is google usually a good place to look? I found this, but again it is very confusing: “a dance move typically associated with lower-income African-American women that involves the rapid gyration of the hips in a fashion that prominently exhibits the elasticity of the gluteal musculature.” My daughter is not “African American”. Also, does anyone know what “gluteal” is?
+1 to you for trolling and everyone falling cameltoe into it
😉
You are funny! Clearly you enjoy messing with these people who think your posts are for real.
Cracks me up that the people providing a “definition” have said TWEAK instead of twerk… uh, yeah. Not the same, either. 😉
You noticed that too? 🙂
What can I say, it helps to pass the time (and root out people who would give advice without really knowing anything about what they are talking about…tweaking/twerking, lol). Thanks for the compliment too…I try! 🙂
Gluteal muscle is the butt muscles. So yeah… Twerking is was Miley Cyrus was doing, it’s when you bend down low and shake your butt so yeah the definition you found is correct. And Camel Toe is what happens to a woman when her pants are too tight and there is a crease on both sides of her vulva. Like…a camels toe. So yeah maaaaaybe that’s a bit much for a 13 year old. Hope you have “the talk” with her ;P
I’m not sure I understand completely. Would you be willing to video yourself twerking and with a camel toe and send it to me? I’m sure I could be made to understand these strange things. Please make sure it is in high-def as my eyesight isn’t what it used to be. Thank you in advance for being a great help!
wow! lower class african-american??? that’s a sterotype. look at miley cyrus. (well, i would say that it’s a classless dance.) gluteal refers to the large muscle of the buttocks (gluteus maximus) google “twerking”…it will show you how it’s done.
Fonda Rush, please google “internet troll” and then notice all of the people on this forum who are pointing out that my story was fiction from the very beginning. By the 448 (currently) likes on my original post, I’m just encouraged by the “gullible” to “thought it was funny” ratio. (Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you are in the “gullible” category, if you didn’t figure it out).
i’m new here, and as i went back to read other entries, i slowly realized that there were “inside” jokes that i wasn’t privy to. saying what you did hurt my feelings. i responded to some entries as some people would if they were new to a group. i did not mean to offend anyone with what i said, and for you to call me a troll when i apparently didn’t understand the dynamic of the group is just plain mean. being new, i would have appreciated a heads-up and a welcome rather than being pushed aside and made fun of with a snarky remark. (trolls are people who push their way into a group with the pure intent of instigating an uproar then backing out into the safety of the internet.) when i spoke here, i didn’t seek to harm anyone maliciously, because that is not who i am. i would rather be gullible than insulting. where’s the humor in that?
Oh gosh, whatarush…I’m sorry you’ve misunderstood. It is I who am the troll, not you! And, while trolling can be done in a malicious manner, my intent here (and I believe the way 99% of people who got the joke took it) was simply to provide some additional humor to a funny article. Judging by the number of positive comments and “vote ups” on my posts, I believe I was a success. I am so so sorry that you thought I was calling you a troll! Also, just so you know, there is no “group” here that I am aware of. I’ve never interacted with anyone here before this. You are clearly a very nice person and I’m sure you’ll enjoy discussions on boards as long as you remember to take everything with a grain of salt! The majority of things on the internet are complete fantasy and non-sense! Again, please accept my apologies for the misunderstanding.
I’m still not sure exactly what you are talking about but it doesn’t sound good. My daughter is 13 by the way. I’m going to talk to her as soon as she gets home from her boyfriend’s house tonight if I’m still awake when she comes in.
Tweaking is basically a ending deeply and gyrating Are you really not going to be awake when your 13 yo daughter comes home from her boyfriend’s on a Monday. I know raising teens is hard, but please read what you wrote .
I’m not sure we are talking about the same thing. My daughter wants to go as a “twerker”. I think I remember “tweaking” from my childhood, immortalized in the great words of the great philosophers Nate Dogg and Warren G who said “I’m tweaking into a whole new era. G-Funk step to this, I dare ya. Funk, on a whole new level; The rhythm is the bass and the bass is the treble”. Is that the same or similar?
Twerking is basically a dance were you shake your butt cheeks. Not apporiate for, pretty much, any ages. But whatever. Don’t let your kid go as a “twerker”.
i’m thinking that was typed in sarcasm font and nobody except the first commenter noticed – lmao
Bingo. 😉
WOW that took a minute for some to catch…
HOLY CRAP HOLOH!!!! Can you actually believe the people who thought you were serious! Can you even see or are your eyes stuck in permanent rolling mode lol I will be skipping my crunches today, I laughed so hard. Can NOT believe how long you held out before you admitted. I feel so lame now. Thanks for saying all the right stuff. Folks, please. Look up TROLLED, you will find your picture there. And he didn’t even try, you did it to yourselves lol and it isn’t stopping which makes it even funnier!!!
I am laughing so hard right now. I think you are my long lost best friend!
This.one.is.taking.all.of.you.for.a.ride.
If you actually believe she/he is serious, you should not be let out without supervision.
…and what a ride it is. These people don’t give up.
Well–trolled, sir or ma’am. You got a bunch of people with this one, lol
😛
Tweaking is a ‘shake your butt’ dance. Something like Myley Cyrus did on stage recently. Not appropriate at ALL.
either your daughter is a sarcastic brat or a total slut. High five either way.
I’m not sure why you would say such hateful things. She told me this morning that Hannah Montana (you know, that sweet girl on the Disney Channel) twerks, so that’s good enough for me. Does anyone know where I can get a twerking costume? Would the Disney Store have them?
Two words: hi larious.
Please no. Please tell me that you are joking. If not, read on…
Yes Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus) is most known for her recent twerking habits. But let’s just say that sometimes good girls go bad. And it has not done ANY good to her name unless she wants a bootie call. Is that what you want your daughter portrayed as? A bootie call? Go to YouTube and look up “Miley Cyrus twerking” — There’s your precious Hannah Montana
I guess I have to be blunt…I am joking. I do disagree with you about her name though. The publicity from her twerking episode has done wonders for her name. She’s not getting booty calls because of it, she’s getting multi-million dollar record deals because of it. Welcome to your children’s America.
It’s called a camel toe and it’s when you wear pans that are WAY too tight that they actually outline the privates….it’s just plain gross!
Once you get her dressed, send her over- I’ve got major candy here.
What’s your address? She’s actually changed her mind and she’s going as someone named Lorena Bobbitt. Sounds like a lame costume, but what do I know.
do you know who Lorena Bobbit is ??may I ask how old is your daughter ?
No, that’s why I said “someone named Lorena Bobbitt”. I think maybe she’s a character in the Lord of the Rings. My daughter loves those movies. She’s 13 by the way. Why do you ask?
are you teasing? if not, lorena bobbit is a woman who bit off her husband’s penis and tossed it away. he couldn’t find it, so it couldn’t be re-attached. poor guy. this is real…look it up.
Yes, I’m “teasing”. See my other reply to you, please! For the love of everyone that cares about you, please see my other post.
i don’t think that i am the only one here who is confused about your remarks. there are several others that are innocently explaining what it is you are asking. apparently, i am not the only one who doesn’t get it. i understand now, and i will continue to treat you as i want to be treated.
I am just dying reading your comments, you are hilarious! Especially love the Lorena Bobbitt response to the pervy weirdo. Classic! Is your name a Megamind reference, by the way?
Nope, haven’t seen that movie actually. Been using this nickname for 19 years believe it or not…back to the days of IRC (Internet Relay Chat) when I was a kid. No idea where it came from.
Perhaps she should dress as the ‘average internet user’ this Halloween, as it actually SCARES me, the number of people who offered a serious response to your comment. lol Just, wow.
Twerking is that Butt dance that stupid Miley Cyrus is known for ….Oh GEEZE I have to be blunt with the next one …A CAMEL TOE (Not Toad) is when a girls pants are so tight that the seam down the center of the crotch seperates the private parts ….Its called a camel toe , cause a camel only has 2 two toes ……
You, sir, are a genius! LOL. You got the nut bags out commenting on this one!
well im sure it is inappropriate
twirking is referring to a type of inappropriate dance moves, including but rolling and so forth. Also a camel toe is when the underwear or line is shown in between your crotch normally with jeans that are way to tight. I hope you get some insight from this… yes VERY INAPPROPRIATE.. check out Miley cyrus on her VMA’s and this what I believe your daughter is going for.. I think you need to have lots of words with her 🙁
Oh, thanks, but I didn’t ask about twirking. I asked about twurking.
Camel toe – she wants to make sure she has a sweet camel toe. Better yet, ask her if a moose knuckle would make her happier
Laughed until I cried, not at your comment as much as at the completely humourless people who took you seriously! And it got funnier…….you told them you weren’t serious but even that didn’t stop them.
BTW, what’s with the tweaking/twerking confusion? Better to be bumping and grinding (possibly) than doing meth but not sure how they can confuse the two.
Yeah, just what everyone wants. Daughter dressed like a slut.
WTF??? there are only 3 “girls” on here the rest are women and a boy. The “girls” are completely covered. If you find them “sexy” I think you need to look into your own pedophilic hang ups not the costumes. WOW what a bunch of bull.
Wow. Uh…..errr…hmmmm. Huh. Totally not what I was expecting.
Can anyone say “grooming”?
Banana Boy, and yes, he is Happy to see you!
It’s amazing how two people could completely forget how the world works the second they have children.
I would add my 2 cents but I have to get back twerk.
I have to stop drinking coffee when I read your commentary!! My sinuses are not happy with the caffeine I’m snorting — not to mention the stains on my clothes!!! Hard to believe that some momma’s will really let kids wear these things!!
I wore at least 50% of these outfits during my 20s (or, my “drag phase”).
Save yourself some money. Just have them go as Miley Cyrus, all you need is a bikini and a camel tongue and camel toe to stick out.
oh my goodness, this is why we mainly stay with diy costumes!! Thanks for the insight!!
My son said he wants to go as a moose knuckle, does anyone know where I can get this for him?
For many, this is a favorite holiday. But, what has happened to good, clean fun … one simple night of it, at that. These days, there are dress up parties the last few weekends in October. Some will overspend, overinduldge, and even underdress. It’s important in making Halloween fun for our younger generation that those of us who are old enough to know better allow children to have fun without stepping outside good boundries. This is not to offend anyone, but please stop for just a moment and think. If there was a room full of dirty old men, would you send your scantly dressed daughter in there – NO! However, once a picture is in a boy’s/man’s head, it is like a roladex – they can recall that particular image at any time. Do not allow your precious daughter’s to dress in a way that could make another person think inappropriately about them. We are in a position to raise and protect them – even in what may seem totally innocent.
Have a safe, fun, and thoughtfully dressed Halloween!