>I Don’t Call It Suburban Turmoil for Nothing
>Hi! How are things? Great! And me? Well! Not so great!
We’ve had a Major Incident here. Oh, don’t worry, no one’s taken a headfirst dive into the kiddie pool or anything. Still, what’s happened will probably be ominously told and retold at Thanksgiving dinners and grandchildren’s bedsides and late-night Uno games unto the end of the Ferrier family line.
My 14-year-old spilled the Harry Potter beans.
Oh yes she did. Can you believe it? And how could she? And what the fuck?
14, you see, stayed up until eight yesterday morning finishing the book. Late yesterday afternoon at soccer practice, my 16-year-old was working on a soccer drill when she heard 14 shouting (shouting!) Harry Potter spoilers to a group of rapt teenage girls. 16 stopped short and stared at her sister.
“What are you talking about?” she asked 14 uncomprehendingly. “Are you talking about the last book?! The book I’m still reading?!”
Yes. She was. Fuck!
To fully understand the horrible enormity of the situation, you should know that ever since I met the girls at the tender ages of 8 and 10, we’ve been going to midnight Harry Potter book unveilings. We’ve braved long lines for Harry Potter movie premieres. We’ve speculated endlessly about how the series would end. This weekend, we’ve all been reading like fiends and avoiding contact with anyone or anything that might give away the ending. 16 hasn’t even touched the computer, afraid she’d accidentally see a spoiler on MySpace or Facebook.
And then this.
I’m sure that 14 didn’t mean any harm, that she was temporarily overcome by the heady sensation of being the center of a group of older girls’ attention. When Hubs went upstairs after practice to talk to her about The Harry Potter Incident, he found her in her room, head in her hands. She hasn’t said much since.
Equally pathetic is that when 16 told me what had happened (with tears in her eyes, people!), my first thought was that maybe we could perform a memory charm on her so that she wouldn’t remember what 14 had said.
I really need to get a life.
**Okay, so ready for some good news? My good friend and BlogHer roomie MommaK has finally decided to come out of the blogging closet! Go witness her gorgeousness for yourself and leave her some comment love!
>OH.MY.GOD. She’s fourteen, you say? I’d say fourteen WEEKS of grounding is appropriate!!! Or better yet, let her sister choose the punishment!I very stupidly decided to reread the series in the midst of moving to our new house. I have ONE chapter of Book 6 to left to read before I start Book 7. Book 7, BTW, is still in it’s original box, so I won’t be tempted. I’ve been surfing the Web on pins and needles, afraid that some blogger might spill it for me!And I have to be honest here — for about 30 seconds I debated closing your blog because it was starting to tread near very dangerous waters…..
>DO NOT click on this if you haven’t finished the book yet. But this YouTube video showcases who I’m pretty sure are my current “most hated group of people”…and the reason I, too, did not go on the internet/leave my house ’til the book was done. Was too scared to go at midnight because of people like this. Might comfort 14…these people took it to a MUCH more extreme level.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c16wK-low4E
>in my house, 14 would not be alive anymore. The killing cure, for her!
>16 must have immense self-control if violence didn’t ensue.
>Whoa. I can’t believe you didn’t drown her. I didn’t turn on the tv, radio, or computer. I bought ear plugs in case I had to go out (but was too embarrassed to actually use them) I didn’t even answer my phone, just in case.
>I have to say, I feel bad for 14 too! It’s like that question, is it harder to leave or be left. Both suck. It sounds like she never intended to spoil it for her sister, so she wasn’t doing anything vicious.Lindsay, are you gonna have a thread where we can say spoilers and talk about what happened??
>Poor 16. That sucks!!! Betrayed by her own sister. The horror!!
>How exciting you are rooming with KIMBERLY, now that we know Momma K’s name! I want details on how many hours it takes her to dry that long hair!So, do you two really know each other, or have you just met through bloglife?
>That happened to me over the phone. Busy Girl’s friend yelled out the ending.
>Wow. That’s huge. And here I thought I had it bad that MY step son decided to knock an entire wine cooler into my BRAND.NEW.LAPTOP.But man, that’s much worse!
>avada kadavra
>Oh my god. That is so horrible….for her as well as for all of you. I finished and I didn’t look at the net or watch TV until I was done. Maybe all Harry Potter posts should have a no spoiler or a spoiler here alert in the title? At least this week. It’s just so sad to hear the ending before you get to it yourself.
>I stick by my comment on the previous post. 😉
>That is practically a mortal sin! You won’t have to move will you? Perhaps she could take out an ad in the newspaper, one of those full page “I’m so sorry” deals? Did she blow the ending for you too? (I’m only on page 120, and I can’t read any more of it until I finish my financial accounting homework that is due tomorrow, what incentive)
>I am not reading other comments for fear of spoilers. Reading that last book now. Wish I remembered all the details from previous books. From now on I wait for authors to finish a series before starting to read the series. Hello! How the heck am I supposed to remember what the damn spell was? It took you too damn long to publish the next fricking book lady!! I am sorry for your 14 year old. Remind her that she didn’t kill babies, she just wrecked a book for a bunch of people. Nobody died and we still love her — everyone is evil at some point in their life….
>Poor thing. Although she should have to polish school shields or something similar as punishment.I’ve strictly forbidden my 12 year old son from giving away the ending – he skipped to the end – to anyone in the house. I finished it yesterday so I can breath easier, but I won’t spoil it for anyone else.
>I can absolutely guarentee you, having raised three daughters to adulhood, that this incident will be revisited many, many imes over in the years to come. As a matter of fact when 16 is old and gray she will probably at some point say to 14, “and then there was the time you ruined Harry Potter for me”. Sisters never foret. Never
>Unbelieveable! My cousin pulled that once and it was only over a movie. Harry Potter is in a whole other league. I’m sure she didn’t mean to ruin it for everybody and I feel bad for her, too. But she’ll no doubt be paying for that for the rest of her life and then some. And I have a feeling that no other punishment will compare to that of her sister’s.
>Oh, my! That IS a doozy! And I haven’t even read the books. (Gasp.) Even I have avoided hearing the end, just in case I get to them!
>I did not read this post. I’m just saying…it’s getting really hard to not sit down and read the whole book right this minute. I want to wait until I get back from Chicago !! In DC, there is a morning Dj that did Harry Potter drve bys. They got a hold of the book on the internet before the 21st and as everyone was lined up in their Hogwarts finest at the book stores, they drove by with a bullhorn and shouted out the ending to the crowd. Now as much as that sucks, it’s funny as shit.