>I Got Served
>I was at dinner a few weeks ago with a lovely group of women when it happened.
One by one, the cellphones came out and the texting began.
At first, it was surreptitious. Someone would drop out of the conversation and look down in her lap as though she’d just lost an earring or suddenly felt an urge to examine her nails. Inevitably, though, her face would begin to glow an eerie blue, reflected off of the iPhone she held in her lap. She’d remain silent for a minute or two, then put her phone back in her bag and rejoin us.
Within an hour of our arrival, my fellow diners weren’t even trying to hide what they were doing. They held up their cell phones to the light, scrolled through comments on Twitter and added their own. At one point, every single woman around me was texting. Yes, I was just that interesting.
Bemused, I took out my own cell phone and sent my husband a message. I could text too, dammit. I could text with the best of them! I didn’t need to, you know, make conversation. Conversation was sooooo 2008!!!
I m eating beets. I texted. U?
He didn’t respond.
The same thing happened last week at dinner, with another lovely group of women who were, if anything, even more connected to the web. First, they chatted about people on Twitter. Then they pulled out their iPhones and their Blackberries and began Twittering about what we were doing and saying. Then, they read people’s responses on Twitter to what we had said. There were only six of us around the table, but suddenly, we had an online audience of thousands. And it was a little intimidating.
@suburbanturmoil has panang between her teeth, I imagined one of them texting.
@suburbanturmoil just made a joke. Wasn’t funny. Is funnier on blog. And not that funny there, either.
@suburbanturmoil could stand to lose ten pounds. Should have ordered the salad.
I broke out into hives at the thought. And all I was trying to do was have a nice dinner out with friends.
“You should have seen it,” I told some women over drinks last night here in Nashville. “Everyone at the table had her iPhone out. Everyone. And I looked around the restaurant and everyone else had their iPhones out, too.”
“Oh no,” the women breathed in horror.
“Oh yeah,” I said. And that was in California, which means that’s what Nashville’s going to be like in about two years.”
It’s the death of dining out. And once again, I’m left feeling like the crotchety old granny, waving her cane in the face of technology.
Oh. And I’m totally asking for an iPhone for my birthday. Conflicted much?
>I am not sure how I found your blog. I am on here way to much obviously.. Anyhow your blog is great. And I must be old too, because I don’t get the whole breaking out the Iphone in the middle of dinner.
>personally, I think it’s f’n rude, just like when I’m in meetings or someone is giving a presentation and all these fairly unimportant people have their devices out. Not cool.I’ll wave my grannie panties on that one.
>If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. I just got a blackberry…and now I am one of those.It annoys the heck out of my husband who has a blackberry for “actual work” and doesn’t use it to update twitter or facebook. Boooring!
>I’m glad I stopped in on this post today because I wouldn’t have known about waving granny panties! I feel hipper now. :)I just had a friend complaining about this same thing (the texting, not the granny panties). It’s a plague of madness!
>Always reeling from the venomous ” ah moms'” from the teens when I force them to pretend to be listening to me. I have no patience for the rudeness of this new constant chatter . Many a mutually longed for lunch outing with friends or coffee and commiserating session is now ruined by the same time polls on preferred soccer practice venues, and spilled milk laments. I keep telling myself never say never , but the recent need for reading glasses makes it all a juggling act I can still avoid.
>I hated the texting while in a conversation, but now am addicted to my BB! I can – with great willpower – retrain myself from checking email/texting during dinner though! I don’t think it’s crotchety at all to expect people to have MANNERS!
>That’s lame and rude and I hate it when people do that.
>If I leave a text unanswered for a few hours, I cannot see the look of disappointment and feelings of rejection on the face of the sender the way I can see it on the face of the person sitting right next to me if I do reply to the text.If it were a bona fide emergency, the person trying to reach you would CALL. I can’t imagine when answering a text would be worth disrespecting the person you are with.
>I have lots of issues. And cell phones are the basis of a bunch of those issues. Texting while out with others is just plain rude. And, personally, Twittering is something I just don’t understand. There is no one on earth who’s every thought and deed and whatever needs to be out there for me to read.
>egads, that drives me crazy! mostly, because i want one too!!
>At least they weren’t talking on the phone during dinner I really HATE that. Texting while eating with others is equally rude but just less annoying. I guess I’m also waving my granny panties on this one.
>It doesn’t bother me unless I’m in the middle of telling a really great story.
>I think it’s extremely rude and it’s basically telling the person you are with that they are not worthy of your complete attention.
>Grr…the texting the middle of a conversation bothers me too. Honestly, everyone complains about being so busy, no time for friends, being completely overwhelmed, etc. but we keep buying/creating things that keep us all “connected”. I am an admitted excessive cell phone talker, but I draw the line when socializing. Grannie panties waving!
>THAT is the rudest thing I have ever heard. I can’t stand it when someone that you’re trying to have a conversation with pulls out their Blackberry or Iphone (um…status symbol much) and proceeds to make me feel even MORE insignificant than I usually feel by texting away. It’s annoying.
>Well, clearly we are all behind the times. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feeling on the issue who does it, because honestly, more people do it than don’t. But I do feel a little stung when it happens to me. I’m thinking, “What? I’m not interesting enough for you?”I think it’s become normalized by all the teenagers out there who think absolutely NOTHING of texting the entire time they’re out with their friends. It’s the thing to do. That can’t help but rub off on the “older folks.”Face it, people. This is where we’re headed. And don’t get me started on the movement to do away with apostrophes in the name of convenience…
>It used to really bug me when people do exactly what you described. And then I got an iphone and now I totally get it. I text at dinner, too, as do all my friends. It’s part of the Southern California culture now. There’s always at least 2 phones on a table at dinner.
>I HATE it when people do that. But, luckily, it is not too common here in the Northeast. I actually won’t even bring my phone in the restaurant for fear of my husband trying to text me. If people at the table were to start excessively texting, I might not be able to hold in a snide comment.
>It happens in New York too. It seems like you can’t get through a dinner these days without someone texting!At least they’re not sexting at the dinner table. Have you heard about the horrible epidemic it has become with kids?!
>It is an epidemic in San Francisco. But I am guilty, too. Not sure what to make of it, but it’s definitely at critical mass here.
>iPhones rock.Texting your way through dinner? Not so much.I’m big on the art of conversation. And that means more than 140 characters.
>If I pull out my phone at dinner it’s because I’m pretending to text but I’m really taking a photo of the foursome in the next booth because I am certain that one of the couples is trying to pick up the other couple and I want to catch a great scandal pix.But just to tweet? I prefer the old ways of being rude, like picking up the steak bone, diving into tiramisu so fast you end up with whipped cream and cocoa up your nose, or talking about g-spots.
>Hmm, I’m in California, Silicon Valley no less, and I don’t do that nor do my friends. Perhaps you should hang out with us next time you’re in the area!
>Dear rude text people,In this economy, eating out is a luxury much less texting on your $200+ tech gadget. You are not a brain surgeon, so you don’t need to be contacted everywhere you go and nobody gives a sh*t what your every thought is. So, on that note let me text you this message- f.u.Do I hate this behavior? You bet.
>The phone/laptop at the table? It sounds petty, but the behavior became one (of the many) death knells of my soon-to-be-former marriage. We’ve forgotten simple politeness. Really people, what are we telling each other when a computer screen becomes more important than the people right in front of you?
>I agree with the masses and gladly pull out the granny panties and wave the high in the air. While in line at a dept store, the gentleman (jerk) in front of me proceeded to check out while yapping (very loudly) on his phone. The clerk quickly told him that in order to ring up his items he would need to put the caller on hold or let the next person in line move ahead while he finished his call. Myself and the others in line that were subject to his meaningless conversation were happy to move up and even happier when he walked out.
>I can’t stand texting during dinner (or really any event in which you’re in the company of others). It’s one thing to answer a quick text from your spouse or kid but another to be Twittering to the masses during a dinner out! Does everything have to be a public broadcast? Back in MY day…okay, maybe I should just stop here. (Madly waves cane and adjusts granny panties)
>i couldn’t believe it when my friend was texting someone in the middle of my conversation with her. there wasn’t even anyone else there to act like i was talking to. i’ve wave my granny panties too.
>You know when you’re sitting there, and suddenly someone starts to whisper? That’s the same feeling I get when people suddenly whip out their phone to text in the middle of a conversation. I agree with TheOtherJennifer . . . it’s f’n rude! I thought it was because I’m old . . . but it’s not me, it’s them!!!
>Little do you know, you just coined the new catchphrase to sum up that experience. “I’m eating beets.” Love it.
>I hate that! I think it is sooooo rude!And it is getting way out of control…grr!
>He probably didn’t reply because, sorry, Ewwwwww to the beets.I’m old. It’s rude. I’ve never done it. I never will. And I’ll call people on it if they do it in front of me. I won’t call them on their iPhones, though.
>My group of girls is getting together this week for our once a month night out without husbands and kids… I will make a rule THIS WEEK before this happens! I’m with you- I would feel so uninteresting. The rest of the world can wait, just a couple of hours!Thankfully, too, I’m in a pretty small town in central Texas- we won’t be there for another couple of years!:)
>People are certainly TWITTER crazy (especially the church peeps…blame @pwilson and @brandiandboys lol), but it is rude to sit and text at the dinner table. I make sure if I pull out my phone, there better be a good reason to interrupt a conversation. And as far as you needing to lose weight…WHATEVER!!!! You’re GORGEOUS!!!! Hope you’re having a great week, and will probably see you on Sunday!
>I should add that the other odd phenomenon I’ve seen recently is people going either to Starbucks or a bar simply to text. I guess it’s not all THAT strange at Starbucks, but it certainly was strange in Houston at the Four Seasons bar to see several men sitting alone at tables with a drink and their Blackberry. If I had seen one, I wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but it was obviously, like, a thing.
>Hmm. I understand it, but not at a social dinner. I understand the prevalence of the technology and the culture but there are still boundaries…
>That is so rude! I have never been to dinner where people have taken out their phones to Twitter or text. Oh wait, maybe with my husband, but you know I talk to him ALL THE TIME!
>I looked around me as I was reading this…umm…on my phone….while watching my kids at the playground. And everyone, mom, dad, nanny, everyone was looking at their phone. But I wonder if the trend will fade, after awhile; if people will realize that whatever is on the other end of their phone is not as interesting as the life in front of them. As I was thinking about this today I put away my phone and got dirty with my kids.
>Am beginning to think I am the only person on the planet that doesn’t have an Iphone.(I am going to be so screwed at BlogHer)
>your description is priceless!!so funny because you always think of teenagers texting straight through a meal, but i’ve also been noticing more and more adults doing it and it almost always relates to twitter and sharing stories and comments.
>Yesterday at lunch with co-workers, one took a call at the table. I crossed my arms and looked at her. She gestured me to keep eating. I gestured toward outside.I know I am a hardass but still. No phone calls at the table unless bleeding and an ambulance are involved.
>We call it “Device Interruptus” at home. In social situations its the worst. I hope I didn’t take a text-hit during dinner with you. Am cringing at the thought…!
>You didn’t, Lisa! You actually didn’t! And I was very impressed, considering how insanely busy you are.
>i just got an i-phone. it does not come w/ a manual, people. um, HELLO. momma here NEEDS A FREAKIN MANUAL. but i was so excited to be one of the unsocial socials who whip out their phones to see who is much more interesting than the people they’re with. and really, it’s all about the same amount of boring.
>LOL…I am so late 20th Century. No cell phone. No iphone. No blackberry. No texting.Good thing I limit my boring of people to in person and occasional emails 😉
>I’ve actually just started texting. A lot of my friends kept telling me that I ought to join 2009 and text like everyone else. I don’t have an iPhone though. Just the cheapest phone Verizon had.I’m really slow at texting. A lot of the times my friends wind up just calling me and saying, “You take forever to text. Let’s just talk this way.” Oh. Sorry.
>Wow! I’m originally from Cali, but I have been living in England for the past six years. We’re seriously behind over here, well, maybe it’s just me? I own a simple pay as you go phone and I only use it when necessary. My family and friends back home talk of these phones and sometimes I’m so out of the new that I have I no idea what they are talking about! I might be in for another culture shock when I get back. Life here is slow paced.
>I don’t know how many times I thought I was having a conversation with someone only to realize that they are texting someone and haven’t heard a word i’ve said… I had a friend in HS though almost 20 years ago who used to come over to my house and then talk on my phone to her boyfriend all night- so I don’t know if much has changed except the technology!
>It doesn’t bother me a bit, probably since I pull out my phone and text nonstop or check my email or errr work. I will also be live tweeting my daughter’s wedding two weeks from today. Her new mother in law will love that, won’t she?
>I live in SF. I don’t have a blackberry or iPhone, just a regular cell phone. Sometimes I turn it off when I’m walking into a restaurant, but since I get so few calls normally don’t bother. If I have to answer my phone, I excuse myself and go to the lobby or walk outside, to tell the person I’m out with a friend and will call them back later. Honestly what you described is outrageously rude. It’s the people you were with, NOT the “wave of the future.” I’m not even from the South, birthplace of manners.
>I agree with Green. That’s just plain rude. I would be really miffed if friends did that at dinner. Thankfully the people I dine with still have manners.
>Oy. I HATE that. I love, love, love my iPhone but please, when you get yours don’t become a d-bag.
>I was going to read all of the responses, but I kept having txts come in that I needed to respond to.Anyway, I think it is like passing gas. You excuse yourself from the table, go into the bathroom, get it out of your system, and then return to dinner.Problem solved!(well, except that all the ladies who never text at the table probably never fart either).
>My husband bought me an Omnia a few weeks ago. After one weekend of everyone being able to get in touch with me and knowing that they could at any time promptly sent me running straight back to the store to take it back. If there is ever a time when I need to check my email that much then I seriously need to look at what the hell I am doing or thinking. It’s freaky to need to be that tied into society.Facebook and Myspace make me laugh…there is no way in hell these people are truely as happy as they all make themselves seem to be. I am a very private person and I tried the online openess for a brief time. I give props to all that can pull it off comfortably…I just couldn’t. I didn’t continue to keep in touch with these people for a reason…
>Adults should know better. It’s like the old days of call waiting when someone would say “Hang on I need to check on the call coming in.” Then check on it. Then get back to you and say “I’ll call you back.” This was code for the other person who just beeped in is more important. HMP!One question…did you wear the Snuggie to lunch?
>electronic media is the downfall of our society.I first saw it 2+ years ago in Disney, some lady spent the entire Country Bear show calling everyone she knew and loudly declared, “Yeah, I’m in the Country Bear Show… now the fat one is singing… now the dumb one is singing….”People need to step away from their addiction long enough to enjoy life. Stop and smell the roses instead of using your cell to take their picture and tweeting everyone about them.and yes, we are all guilty in some form or another, myself included.