>I Want Me Gold
>I am learning some things about myself on this vacation at the in-laws’ house, one being that I talk to myself in piratese.
I might never have realized this surprising fact if it hadn’t been for the baby monitor, perpetually left on in our bedroom to pick up Bruiser’s sounds during his naps. The receiver is conveniently located in the kitchen, where the entire family congregates. The trouble is, we generally forget to turn it off, providing unexpected entertainment when Hubs and I think we’re talking privately in the bedroom, Last night, for example, Hubs tried to convince me that the babies wouldn’t wake up if we er, got busy in his twin bed and I told him he was a lunatic as the rest of the family played cards at the kitchen table and listened in.
And then there was this morning, when I was getting dressed in the bedroom and couldn’t find a particularly indispensible article of clothing.
“Where’s me bra?” I muttered to the empty air, before turning and looking at the baby monitor in horror. I knew that at that moment, my mother-in-law was standing right next to the receiver in the kitchen, making a carrot cake.
Where’s me bra? Where’s me bra?! Where the hell did that come from? For the first time, I found myself face-to-face with my inner voice. My plank-walking, deck-swabbing, hook-handed inner voice. It’s bad enough that I have to wonder now what on earth Hubs’s mom must be thinking about her batshit crazy pirate-in-law- the fact is, I don’t know what to think myself.
Yaargh.
>ROFLI’m sorry… I feel your pain, but that is just too funny!!
>Maybe its not really a pirate voice you hear, but a lovely Irish lassie….
>ROFL that is HILARIOUS. Um, I mean I’m so sorry to hear it. Hee hee…Truly, that’s just a giggle.~Monica
>Dr. Sam Beckett just popped into my head, during one of his many “Oh boy” moments. lmao I’m sorry I had to laugh, too. Been there before.
>That is the funniest thing I’ve read all day. I am now thinking in pirate talk and I can’t help myself. Oh what your mother in law must say behind your back!! Have fun, matey.
>I, too, was thinking that you were indulging in your inner brogue.Those moments of seeing ourselves in someone else’s eyes can be quite…something.
>I think you need some rum to go with that pirate voice. It might make the days go faster. Drink up me hearties, YO HO!
>Both the pillow caper and the pirate-speak made me laugh out loud, mostly because I can identify so well!Thanks. 🙂
>I agree – it’s a cockney accent, not a pirate one. It beats knowing your inner self is comfortable in a headscarf and large earring.
>And did you find the double-cupped scalawag? Or is it still missing?
>Don’t knock sex in a twin bed with ‘rents in the house. Just keeping quiet adds to the danger factor.
>oh, good thing you two did not do the deed. imagine the horror!
>Dude. Just praise the Lord that you didn’t actually give in to Hubs! How horrible would THAT have been! “Aye! Do me harder, matey!” (Can I say that on your blog?
>Somehow I’m trying to come up with something for you to say purposely having to do with ye olde “planks” of pillows she makes you sleep on, but I just can’t find the right wording. Gotta take advantage of her listening in to get your pillow rant in somehow!!!
>I think you need to get your pirate ass to the store and buy yourself some booty. May I suggest a souvenir from the bedding department? 😉
>Did you mean to say, “where’s me f-ing Lucky Charms”? CUTE!
>real pirate winches dont ware bras!
>That’s awesome. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve started adopting my foreign husband’s incorrect Englishisms. Fortunately, this doesn’t occur in public that often. Yet.
>Piratese is a common dialect in our house. Offspring #2 is a little slow to talk but has a good go at “Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum”. She also has the “ahoy me hearties” action just right! We’ve just had the in-laws here for a few weeks and I’m sure they think we’re all mad.
>I think it’s great that you were talking about doing the deed and got caught. How about having a conversation about how evil your sister-in-law is?Oh, yeah. It happened. Don’t get me wrong. She is and everyone knows it but it probably wasn’t the best live feed the fam could have gotten in the kitchen…
>Awesome!Now try: “Where’s me pillows?”
>to fall in with the others… yeah! arent u glad they didnt hear you getting it on? That one would have been harder to live down and they wouldnt have respected you in the morning.
>ROFL! Could have been worse. “Where’s me vajayjay cream?” Drink up me hearties, yo ho!
>One too many Johnny Depp dreams? Come on, fess up. 😉
>After your radio drama with Hubs the night before, your pirate talk probably didn’t even raise an eyelid.Well, not as much.Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh.
>”Whaar’s me Braaaah, matey!”pirate-in-law, OMG, that is funny!
>Karley’s comment made me GOL (Guffaw Out Loud)! “Aye! Do me harder, matey!” Fabulous.
>I think the bra is hiding in the special pillows, savvy?
>Holy shit, you guys are cracking me up. This post is wayyyy funnier in the comments.
>LMAO!!That’s too funny. If your a pirate I must be a sailor because I am always cussing when I talk to myself. 🙂
>Just don’t forget ME’BRA when your packing for Chicago. We are keeping our tops on, dammit!
>I dare you to show up at blogher in one of those flouncy shouldered pirate shirts waving a skull and crossbones flag.