>In Defense of the Epidural
>There is a tremendous amount of pressure on a pregnant woman to forego the epidural during labor. Every pregnancy book, DVD, class and magazine out there contains references to breathing techniques and doulas and focal points and squatting positions. Every other pregnant woman she encounters will smile sweetly and say, “We’re going to try and go natural.” To which I say:
What are you, crazy?
I knew the first time around that I wanted an epidural, but quickly learned that unless I was just craving stares of pity and disapproval, it was best to keep that information between my husband and myself. Dutifully, we practiced labor positions together, inhaled and exhaled to counts of ten and at my insistence, packed my exercise birthing ball in the trunk for the hospital, just in case.
Afraid of slowing down the labor process at the hospital and attracting the attention of the Pitocin squad, I did forego the epidural for as long as I possibly could. But the last thing I wanted to do was squat, breathe in short puffs, or bounce around the delivery room on a freaking ball. Instead, I moaned and groaned and writhed and sweated on the bed, while my family sat around the delivery room and pretended not to notice. Finally, a nurse checked me and said, “This is the last chance you have to get an epidural.”
“GIVE IT TO ME!” I screamed. They did. And it was…
Wonderful.
Finally able to get comfortable after 18 hours of labor pains, I settled back into my favorite pillows and promptly went to sleep. Every so often, the night nurse would come in and check on me and we’d chat easily about our favorite books and clothing designers. At about 11:30, there was a commotion in the hall and I asked what was going on. She looked at her watch.
“Oh, this is the time when all the women who are in labor at the Natural Birthing Center decide they can’t take it anymore and show up here for an epidural,” she explained.
I laughed. “Are you serious?”
“Yep,” she said. “We get between 5 and 12 of them almost every night.”
Um, Boo-ya!
I figured that like me, they’d be pleasantly surprised by the sensation. To read all the anti-epidural information out there, you think you’re going to be completely numb from the waist down, trapped on your back like a bug pinned to a piece of styrofoam. But the best thing about the epidural was that I could feel everything– except pain.
So when it was finally time to give birth, I could feel my daughter being born, feel her head and arms and legs coming through my body, all without the searing pain that would normally come with it. I actually enjoyed the delivery and remember every moment of it. Five minutes later, I was holding her in my arms and reapplying my lipstick in the labor mirror. And people, it doesn’t get any better than that.
The other day, I was chatting with a woman who has no children. She had befriended a midwife and was excitedly telling me all she had learned from her.
“Knowing what I know now,” she said, “There is no doubt in my mind that women who have epidurals are missing out on the true birth experience.”
I just smiled at her indulgently. What is the true birth experience, anyway, besides bringing your baby into the world as safely and easily as possible? I don’t have an issue with anyone who wants to deliver naturally, but I don’t want them to have an issue with me choosing an epidural, either. I hate that those of us who are planning on the epidural sort of whisper it when asked, and bite our lips as if awaiting criticism.
Sometimes, I feel like childbirth is just another competition between women. Real women go natural. Weak women use meds. And really weak women have C-sections. Bah.
Honestly, I don’t care how it happens, so long as I’m holding a healthy baby at the end and have received assurance that I’m not going to bleed to death. For me, that’s enough.
>THANK YOU! As a first time mom I get so tired of hearing all the negative about epidurals. I knew I wanted one from the moment we thought about having a baby. It’s good to hear someone give the good side of the epidurals instead of having to digest one more “why you shouldn’t” out there.
>AMEN! We have some friends who just had their first child and her HUSBAND was adamant they would go natural…they did but she couldn’t sit, or walk straight for a good two weeks. That’s one of her greatest regrets considering she was in labor for almost 24 hours! Our plan was always we’ll see how it goes, if I need meds, I need them…and like you I got the epidural literally 10 minutes before I had to push. Pushed for 30 minutes and he was here. Life was good!Mothers are SO competitive, just another chapter in the Mommy Wars (is someone writing all this down???) I say do what feels best for you. (But leave me and my epidural alone!)
>My second baby is due in the end of july and i’ve planned from day one to get an epidural again. It was great the first time and i also felt my sons body comming into this world it was the best. I went from 4cm to 10 cm in an hour after getting it. I just works for ME.
>I always had the attitude that it was there if I needed it. I needed it. But…I ended up getting a spinal headache and had to get it REDONE a few days later (and OMG I H.A.T.E. needles!!). That guy who did the second one was a complete jerk and yelled at me when I said it hurt (“It would only hurt if I was hitting a nerve!!!!” – for MONTHS my leg would just jerk really hard out of nowhere. Think you hit a nerve, A-hole??) Only because of that I would TRY to do it without if I ever go again. I agree that it made me more able to ‘enjoy’ the birth. I could still feel what was going on and I felt more able to ‘give it my all’ after I had finally gotten some rest. Now that Pitocin…that’s a bitch.
>simplicity…I SWEAR we were writing that at the same time!!
>I think it is such a personal choice. No one can say what is right for someone else. I only wish the one and only epidural I had had worked. It did *nothing* for me. My first was the worst, not because of the epidural, but not helped by it either. The other three were born naturally and were much easier. If the epidural had worked the first time round, I probably would have gone that route the other three times.I think I need to write a post about how other people, male doctors in particular, should not criticize a woman’s need to swear at the top of her lungs during labor. Where are the studies showing that isn’t just as effective as breathing techniques? (And if they exist, they were probably done by MEN.)
>I couldn’t agree with you more. I had 2 wonderful deliveries thanks to the epidural. I felt plenty of pain with the contractions I had been having all day, and the epidural gave me a chance to relax and enjoy those last few moments before my baby was born.I wouldn’t do it any other way…
>I totally agree with you. There are no failures. No one is “in charge” of their birth no matter how much they like to think they are. Although, I tend to get the opposite for saying I had three kids naturally. I didn’t have a choice! My second kid didn’t even wait for the Dr to show up. But it worked out fine. If I had the choice at the moment when you can get an epidural, I’d have gotten it every time. (Although, I’m glad I didn’t get it now. You know, now that I’m not in labor. If I was in labor, I’d want it again….)And there are women for whom the epidural doesn’t work at all. There are women who have adverse side effects. There are women with allergies to the drugs. And women who have to get c-sections. And amazingly, they all still go by the name “Mommy”.
>I couldn’t agree more…. with everything you say here. You know, I felt horrible for months that I had a C-section. So much guilt, for exactly the reasons you point out. I had an epidural, and while it worked it was the best thing I ever did. I took a nap for God’s sake! I described as the difference between lying on a beach and being eaten by a shark, which is maybe a little melodramatic, but at the time that’s what it felt like. Now, what happened when my epidural wore off and they tried to re-dose was a different story, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t go for the drugs the second time around when/if it happens. I think I’ll just wait a little longer next time. Yeay for drugs!!!
>GO FOR IT!With my first, my (crunchy, God love him) doctor said he thought I could make it with ‘just a whiff of gas’ (I’m in Canada – first line of pain relief is laughing gas – I’ll pause while you pick your jaw up) and I stared him down. There’s NOTHING wrong with having an epidural. That birth ended up happening pretty quickly. With my daughter, I had unmedicated labour for eight hours – holy HELL, that HURT!I’d rather have the epidural and be awake for the first few minutes after the baby’s born, versus a sweaty, nauseous mess.
>The minute I found out I was pregnant the first time I said that I wanted the drugs. I didn’t get them with my first delivery due to a series of stupid events, so I had every moment of the horrible, bone-wrenching, hallucination-inducing pain.When I got my epidural with Jack I was blown away. I thought it would help, but that it would still hurt, kind of like with the pitocin. When there was no pain, but I could still tell when contractions were happeing I was in heaven. I told the anesthetist that he was my favorite person. He laughed and told me that would change, but still to this day I love that man.Damn the hippies, take the drugs!
>after a failed epidural.. I am aware that I am ABLE to go through labor without one.. but WHY WHY WHY would I? I cant imagine hurting ON PURPISE.. Heros wear capes and tights. now bring me some DRUGS 🙂
>Kudos on your decision…I only wish my own doctor had been pro-epidurals during my daughter’s birth, but he kept refusing to give me one, nearly killing her in the process. When her head appeared, he told me not to push, but my body couldn’t resist the urge (without that beautiful drug) and the cord was wrapped around her neck and was strangling her during the contraction. He ended up yanking the cord free, blood went everywhere, and she was in the ICU for two days…so yeah, if they have the decency to offer you the drug, you should take it. I mean it’s kind of like going through a root canal without pain killers…does that make you more of a woman or a moron??
>Yes, yes and yes again! Thanks for letting moms know that it’s okay to ask for some help. I had epidurals when I had my 2 kids, so amazing for me. It is such a personal choice, kudos to moms who go the natural birth route. The problem I’ve found is that sometimes moms set themselves up for feelings of failure/guilt, if they find they need medical intervention, I always chant my parenting motto “never say never”. Thanks for the great post!
>As a mom that’s done it both ways, epidural and no epidural (I don’t say ‘natural’ because as my ob once told me, ‘no matter how you have this baby, it’s natural… unless you try to push it out your nose or something… that’s just not natural.^_^) I’m the first to tell new moms they’re crazy if they even contemplate not using the epidural!! With my first, it was total bliss. I never felt any pain, and for all I knew they could have pulled my son out from under the table because I never felt a thing!! That’s teh best! With my first daughter my water broke at home and by the time we got to the hospital her head was trying to pop out so there was barely even time to get me in the bed, much less give me the epidural I was begging for, lol. But that birth happened sooooo fast that I didn’t have time to concentrate on the pain. Not too bad. Next daughter~ I was given an epidural too early and by the time I was ready to give birth it had started to wear off and I felt WAY TOO MUCH! She was barely 6 pounds, but it HURT LIKE HELL and I swore that I would never go through that again! No Way! Never!But I’m very fertile, so… With my last daughter~ I was begging for an epidural from the second I walked into L&D but they kept telling me I had to wait to finish filling out paperwork. (I was once again late getting to the hospital, which the doc yelled at me for, but Hello!, I had 3 other kids to take care of by then!) Well, my daughter decided not to wait and before you know it my doc is yelling at me to push! push! Yeah, that lasted until just about the top of her head was out. GAH! That child had a big round head! At that point I refused to push anymore! I kept telling the doc that I knew what was coming and it hurt too bad! I think I was screaming something like “OH MY GOD SHE’S TEARING ME APART!!!” I screamed, I cried, I cussed my hubby out, and still I wouldn’t push! The doc finally had to grab me by the shoulders, get right in my face, and scream back at me to ‘START PUSHING, DAMMIT!’ I finally did and it was as horrible as I thought it would be! THE MOST excruciating thing I’ve ever felt, and believe me, even after 5 1/2 years, I haven’t forgotten! My poor baby girl ended up with her entire forehead black & blue from being squeezed by my cervix and one of the nurses came in and told me that I had scared a first time mom down the hall! Again I swore that I would never go through that again and just to be sure I went in a few weeks later and had my tubes tied! LOL! And all that just to say YAY FOR EPIDURALS!!!!
>If you want to, do the drugs!!!I used them for both my daughters. The second time I did have problems. The epidural came out, and I was sobbing in pain. They thought I was just complaining and would not even see me at first. After my 6 foot+ husband stood in the hall and started yelling for someone to check on me, they found it was no longer attached, and I was just lying in a wet spot. Things changed, and quick. The anesthesiologist came in and redid it in no time, and I was almost 100% better immediately. Unfortunately, it was so close to my time to push I had a little bit of a hard time feeling to push, and I almost fell over when I went to stand up to get out of the bed and into the wheelchair to go to my room. But, having experienced the beginning of the alternative, DO THE DRUGS!I do not understand the need to go through unnecessary pain, or why anyone would judge you because of it. You never see two men standing around “Yeah, that root canal, I just said ‘have at it’ Novocain is for wimps.”
>I gave birth to my son in Italy where they don’t like to do epidurals. As in, they will refuse to do them. So although I had all the necessary paperwork and authorization from the head of anesthesiology as the hospital where I gave birth, I did not get my epidural. Despite repeated requests.I still got the Pitocin and I was so worn out by the time my baby was born that I do not remember what it felt like when he came out. It was terrible and I felt like a complete failure for having hated the experience.I would love an epidural the next time around (if there is a next time) but until the proposed law to guarantee epidurals to all birthing mothers goes through (if it does), I probably will be stuck without.BTW, after all I read about “natural” childbirth, I thought at least with an epidural I’d have more control over the birth. I could not have been more wrong about that. I was in so much pain and so tired that I had no clue what was going on and they did still did an episiotomy anyway.Good luck. I hope you have a quick and easy labor and delivery, a healthy baby, and a very effective epidural!
>I am impressed you waited 18 hours. I have the anesthethologist on speed dial to make sure he’s in my room when I get there :)Before I had my first I was niave and said, “It can’t be that bad, women have been doing it forever.” Needless to say by the time we got to the hospital and I was dialated to a 3 I had changed my tune.I live in Utah, and the stigma doesn’t seem to be so “bad” here. (Thank goodness!) My nurse this time says that she doesn’t understand why people wouldn’t choose one either.My sister in law tried with her first to go naturally, and then finally accomplished her “goal” with the second. When I asked her what she recommends she said, “Go for the epidural.”Enough said for me!
>Amen. I’ve had two c-sections. The first was an emergency surgery after laboring all night and pushing for more than 2 hours. So heck yeah I signed up for the scheduled c-section the second go round as soon as my doctor recommended it. I was borderline on requiring a blood transfusion the first time.I say GO EPIDURAL GO!One of the most frustrating comments I received was from a friend and mom who has had two natural labor and deliveries. When I told her I had had to have a c-section she asked me if they really “had” to do it.Uh. Yeah. Or I would have possibly died. Yeah. Pretty much sums that up.One of these days I am going to write about the stigma against c-sections. Don’t get me started 😉
>I have many reservations about epidurals: the fact that they aren’t as safe, statistically as people are led to believe, the fact that they are often given at times in labour that are not advantageous for efficient and low-interventive deliveries, the fact that medical staff provide no counselling about the epidural so that the vast majority of labouring women are not able to make proper informed consent about drugs in labour and the fact that the use of epidural messes up a very delicate and intricate dance of physical and chemical stimulis in labour and delivery which can lead to interventions and problems for both mum and baby.The simple truth of the matter is that epidurals increase mortality and morbidity stats. For me and for many women who actively choose to have no pain meds in labour, birth is a deeply primal activity. I wrote this recently, about my experience going without pain meds:”there has never been a time in my life when I have felt so primal, so powerful, so much a woman, so inspired, and so in touch with myself. If I were a person of faith, I’d say that while I birth, I touch God. But, even though I’m not a person of faith, I recognize the earth shakingly powerful connection to the essential mysteries and beauties of life.” I’m very much looking forward to having a similar experience again – this time at home! And, I really hope noone mistakes what I’m writing as a criticism for their choices. I am sworn to support women’s birth choices, I just feel strongly that those birth choices should be made after knowing as much info as possible about the ramifications of the decision at hand. I read many comments and it seems that many women make the decision to introduce drugs into labour rather flippantly and I think it’s a more serious issue than that.
>See, I’m not even planning on having a baby yet, but I already know that I’d go for the drugs. People can look down on me all they want…unless I’m going to borrow THEIR vagina for my child’s birth, they ain’t got nothing to say. 🙂
>You know, it seems women are judged either way: if we get one, we are weak, and uninformed, and if we don’t get one, well, we’re crazy for wanting to go through the pain drug-free! Who the hell cares HOW we get through it as long as we make the decision without pressure from anyone else and the idea that we know ourselves well enough to do what is most comfortable for us as individuals! Hopefully, as mothers, we are able to choose a safe environment, with healthcare providers we trust enough to help us through the adventure that is birthing a baby! Let’s be more supportive toward each other no matter what we choose! Afterall, we’ve got the lovely shared experience of being mothers, and THAT, to me, is what counts most! Here’s wishing you an amazing, safe and healthy delivery, Lindsay!
>I think, personally, our great great great great great women ancesotrs, the ones that actutally survived pregnancy, would have been thrilled if something such as ‘epidural’ had been available in their time, and laughed at the thought of ‘childbirth’ as beautiful. The child yes, the birthing, not so much. The whole childbirth experience is about pregnancy and having a child. You don’t miss out on the experience. It’s just different.I actually can’t talk about the natural method, however.For my first, I had an emergency c-section before I even got deep into labor, and was just bloody happy my daughter came out of that safe. The second, they didn’t want to deliver the twins naturally due to several reasons I won’t go into.And again, I’m just glad the little buggers are out and alive.Go Epidural, YAY.Now, I’ve heard water births are the best, even better than natural.
>Whoever thinks that you can’t feel ‘anything’ with an epidural doesn’t know what they’re talking about (I know ‘full-strength’ epidurals can do that to you, but my hospital only believes in a ‘walking’ epidural, which is what I wanted anyway). They kept trying to tell me it wasn’t pain I was feeling during transition just ‘pressure’. While I didn’t necessarily believe them, it was really great that I could get an epidural to ease the pain AND feel my daughter being born. 🙂
>I am a HUGE fan of the epidural. I look back at my birth experience with happy memories…..not ones of me screaming in pain. Like you, I felt the expereince completely, just without all the sensations of tearing apart at the seams! At the end of the day, every Mom needs to make the decision that is right for her and her fmaily. And then simply respect other women for doing the same.
>With my first two children I had an epidural, and it was such a great experience I gushed about it for years, until my EX-bestfriend informed me that I was a wimp and somehow failed a womanly test. This from a lady who has hips a mile wide and spits out 5lb babies. Try being thin and giving birth to 10 lb monsters, thank you very much.I quickly shut my mouth around her, feeling as though I had somehow failed and not experienced the true miracle of birth.Well, third baby came around and damn it, I was having an epidural, I just wasn’t telling ANYONE about it. Except Bug didn’t want to cooperate and by the time I got to the hospital it was too late for the Needle From Heaven.Had to squeeze that kid out the ole fashioned way. And let me tell you, that burning ring of fire they talk about…they ain’t kidding.Hands down, the epidural was the better way to go. Could feel everything except pain and made my anxiety go way down too!This time, for baby #four, I’m going an easier route: I’m begging one off the government and letting some other woman squeeze out my kid. I don’t care if she has an epidural or not, just let me adopt your damn baby!Take that all you natural birth witches. While you deal with hemhorroids and tears, I’ll be cuddling my babe, and doing the Macarena. (Well, not really, but you get my point.)
>Are mothers really as competitive as everyone makes us out to be? In my experience, we just like hearing each other’s stories and nobody judges anyone for having or not having an epidural or whatever.Is it just me? I say, epidural, no epidural, it all depends on the mother and what they want and the way they are built and the size of the baby and the circumstances of the baby. The first time, I had no choice to get an epidural, she came so fast and furious it wouldn’t have been an option. And in the end, I’m glad I had that experience. The second time it was coming fast again and I didn’t want to slow it down with an epidural. But mine were uncomplicated labors. I would NEVER judge anyone their personal labor experiences and choices.Maybe California is just more relaxed and tolerant about these things.Lindsey, of course you should feel great about choosing an epidural! And hell, you labored for a long time before getting that eipdural. Hope the baby comes soon!
>With my first one the nurse had to practically convince me to take the epidural after 18 hours of labor because I was so afraid of “failing”.Second time around? I asked how soon I could get hooked up before the first contraction hit.And the second time was AMAZING, because I wasn’t dealing with mountains of guilt and expectation about how I “should” be birthing my baby. I was just able to actually ENJOY the moment.If the kid comes out of a woman’s body, that should be the definition of “natural” child birth.
>It was a Wednesday night in May, 2000. The final episode of 90210 was about to air. For the last 10 years I had faithfully tuned in. Had I chosen NOT to have an epidural, I would have missed the Donna Martin say her I dos. Now that would have been a failure.
>I knew I wanted an epi the second I found out I was pg. I waited until about 4 hours after I had my first real contraction to ask for one, and for some reason I figured the anesthesiologist was in the hallway just waiting for me to give him the go. HE WAS AT HOME!!!!! 30 MINUTES AWAY!!!! Oh my gosh, that was the long 30 minutes of my life. Happy birthing!
>AMEN!!! I had both my chidren with an epidural and c-section. People just automatically assume I was being weak and I didn’t really “Have” my children. WTH!! I am a military vet and have spinal problems so I needed the epis or I would not be able to walk from all the pressure on my spine. So I needed that epidural and I also like being able to remember everything about the experience.I never put another woman down for choosing to not have an epidural so why do they insist on putting down women that choose to have one. It is like in the old days and they had you bite on a bullet when they did surgery on people but now they have meds and anestestia (sp?). So are people being weak for choosing to have those meds? I don’t know anyone that would choose to go without. So why is it wrong for women to use meds to ease their pain if they choose.Yes, there could be complications but that happens with every type of procedures out there.It is bad enough that men try to dictate what women need to do without women putting each other down.
>Preach it, Sistah! Epidurals ROCK. I’ve had 3. Thank God for modern medicine, that’s what I say!!
>Um, yeah. I definitely know how you feel. I am the lowest of the low, I guess, having asked about a C-section before I was even pregnant! Fortunately, my doctor was behind me, and I don’t regret the decision for a minute.
>You know, it took me months to get over the feeling of failure after having an emergency c-section. (Gotta love PPD!) I had the epidural, pushed for 3 hours, and he wasn’t coming out. The doctor didn’t like the way the baby’s heartbeat was responding to the contractions, so they couldn’t let me continue pushing… we had a consent form in our faces and I cried! We had never even considered the possibility of a c-section! I felt like a failure as a mother before I even held my sweet boy. I don’t remember anyone outwardly judging me because of it, but I sure judged myself…. in my hormonal state.And really, what matters is the healthy baby and Mom. You are so right! We’re all cheering for you Lindsay! Good luck!!!
>God yes. I had an emergency C-section after 20 hours of horrid, agonizing labor with my stupid back-tilted uterus. Thank god I broke down and decided to get the epidural a few minutes before my baby’s heart rate dropped dramatically. At least I was able to be awake for the surgery even though I was so exhausted I felt like I was about to pass out.My doctor recommended a scheduled C section next time (they found out I had half a uterus during the C-section…I mean, how do you MISS SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!). I’m going to go for it. Surgery is hell to recover from, and if I’ll probably have to have it anyway, I’ll take it without all the agonizing, pointless labor beforehand, thank you very much! Anna
>omg NO i read the first line and decided to comment. i swear i will go back and read the rest.the epidural? HEAVEN…H.E.A.V.E.Nohhh lovely lovely epiduralllllok ill go back and read the rest now
>ACK neat. ok not neat i thought i was special that I could feel their little limbs as they came out. but yea. epidurals…loooove my epidural I had them will all three kids, plus my tubal!
>I really don’t understand the judgments. I have 2 boys. #1 was a “natural” birth, #2 went from a “natural” birth to a medicated birth to an emergency c-section. #1 was formula fed, #2 was breastfed. Does this make me a bad or good mother with either child? No, it just shows what THAT CHILD required.#1 was a 5 hour labor. I arrived at the hospital at 3.5cm. I then begged to be checked again at about the 1 hour mark and was told no. They FINALLY checked me at 1.5 hours after arrival and I was 10cm. There was simply no time for meds.#2 was “natural” (b/c I didn’t feel that I needed meds yet) up until they broke my water. He had his arm stuck up next to his head and when they broke my water out came his hand and forearm which he then proceeded to wave around. Due to his position I was in terrible pain and requested the epidural. Putting it in knocked his heart rate down to 20bpm where it stayed. We were taken to the OR 2 HOURS LATER. I’m just happy that he’s alive and has no problems.Do what’s right for you. It’s your baby and your body.
>”What is the true birth experience, anyway, besides bringing your baby into the world as safely and easily as possible?”Your reasoning is exactly the same as mine. . . except that was my reasoning for not having an epidural and then choosing homebirth 🙂
>I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer, they are just different. I chose to go natural, but I don’t think women who get epidurals are bad. I don’t think someone can say “I think I’ll try natural” and not train for it. I worked my but off in classes etc. so it wasn’t a big deal. But I think every woman feels pain differently and for me I’d rather have contraction pain than the pain of a needle in my back.That all being said, I think you are wrong when you say that you were able to enjoy and remember the whole experience, insinuating thats a woman who goes natural can’t. I remember everything too. And I enjoyed every single minute of it. It was the coolest, neatest, most moving experience of my life. I too watched the birth and right after I too was able to hold my child and if I had chose to “reapply my lipstick.” I didn’t go natural so people would pat me on the back or so that I could be “tough.”There just isn’t that much of a difference. One you can feel pain, one you can’t. One you can walk after, one you can’t. Beyond that, we all give birth to wonderful, sweet, beautiful children who are our joy. Don’t condemn those that go natural just as you don’t want those women to condemn you.
>Okay, so as for C-sections, I was told the Friday before my due date on Sunday that I would have to have one. I had not dilated and my doctor kept doing ultrasounds to “check” on things. He told me that he had been checking the weight and the baby was estimated between 9 and 10 lbs. He felt it would be better to go ahead with the C-section for such a large baby. (By the way, I didn’t have gestational diabetes or anything.) I felt horrible and the pregnancy books didn’t help much. Basically saying your a looser if you have to have a C-section. Well thank goodness I did, my son came out at 11lbs 4 oz. Looks like the estimates were a little low. No way that kid was coming out any other way. Anyway, it was the best, no labor, and with the spinal, I got to see him immediately.By the way, my brother is an OB-GYN and he says having a baby without an epidural is like having your appendix removed without any anesthesia. Who would do that? Although I’m sure he respects his patients that choose to go without. And keeps his month shut either way. It is the woman’s choice after all.
>Oh my little Suburban angel…Your diatribe rocks and I am glad to be back in blogland after losing my job at the school because of mine.It is a veritable non-epidural of a story… searing, out of control and exhausting….I had an epidural with one and not with the other three….mostly because the labors didn’t go on that long.After 18 hours, I would have asked for an epidural with a brandy chaser.Happy new year to you by the way….When’s yo baby coming?
>The fact that we even have to have the conversation bothers me. I knew I was going to have an epidural from the time I got pregnant. I don’t like pain. Why should I undergo pain if I don’t have to? It doesn’t make me more of a mother or a woman to do so.It was a good thing I got my epidural. Not because it made my labor pleasant (and it was nice!). After I delivered my beautiful daughter, my uterus wouldn’t contract. I lost a tremendous amount of blood and fluid. When my uterus wouldn’t contract, my OB had to go back up in there quickly to massage it (both from my vagina and my abdomen) to try to get it to contract. If I had not had the epidural, I can only imagine what kind of pain I would’ve experienced in addition to my uterus bleeding. In fact, I was minutes away from a hysterectomy. Those who criticize women who choose to get an epidural should get a grip on it. I don’t feel any less a mother or a woman. I feel, more than anything, that I had the incredibly good sense to get it. (And no, I’m not putting down those who make the choice to not have an epidural.)
>I :::begged::: for an epidural with both of mine, but the b*tches wouldn’t give me one. 9 pounds and 9 pounds later (five years apart), I’m still mad.
>Hey Mindy, if you want validation for having your children naturally, go, well, anywhere. This one miniscule post in a sea of literature on childbirth is about making women who’ve had epidurals feel good too. And the whole “You can’t walk with an epidural” thing? Totally untrue. I walked to the bathroom within minutes of giving birth. I could move my legs the entire time. I could feel my legs the entire time. Afterward, I was a little irritated that all the “naturalists” had given me the impression that I would be a helpless, immobile blob lying prone on my back in a hospital bed.I don’t think anyone is knocking people who choose natural. I think we’re all saying “Whatever I decide should be okay, as long as it’s medically approved.”
>I couldn’t possibly agree more. Well said.
>I had one with both. First time around I barely got it in time. I went from 0 to 10000 mph in my labor and was 7cm dilated by the time I got to the hospital. It maybe slowed down the birth by an hour, and they tried to talk me out of it, but I guess the screaming convinced them. I was never so happy as when I felt that sweet relief. Second time around I was induced (why no one has even mentioned the horror of induction!) because a) I was tired of being pregnant and b) I didn’t want a substitute doctor like I had the first time around. I got my epi shortly after the pitocin started to do it’s magic, and I slept for 4 hours before the nurse woke me up to say “Whatever you do, don’t push, the doctor is on his way.” The doctor came in, sat on the side of the bed (no stirrups even!), I pushed twice (that’s one, two) and she popped right out.We have a friend that decided to go for a home birth the last two times because she was so upset with how her first birth went. Good for her. But I don’t think she’s a better mom (than me) for it. Just different. I still loved my epi and didn’t feel a bit guilty in saying so.
>I was all about going au natural. I read the books. I took the classes. I bought the ball. I focused. I breathed. I wrote my birth plan. I found my happy place. I WAS READY.Then my son flipped breech at 39 weeks. So we tried all the au natural ways of flipping him back.At 40 weeks, I went for a regular appointment. My doctor checked and his foot was shoved way down and his toe was about to break my water. I had an emergency C-section exactly two hours later. We weren’t even allowed to go hom and get our perfectly packed bag waiting by our front door.And you know what?? It was an AMAZING experience. I replay it in my head over and over! Watching my husband walk my baby over to show me is one of the best memories I’ll ever have.So there. I WAS numb. I COULDN’T walk after I had my baby. (I couldn’t pee for that matter. I had a catheter.) But I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It was MY precious birth experience. :)PS. I recommend ALL women read up on C-sections. Because, you never know…..
>I too walked minutes after giving birth to both of my kids. And yes, I had an epidural. Oh the wonder of modern medicine.
>After 2 horrendous deliveries .. I thank god for epidurals ..I had two, each allowing the safe and speeedy c/s delivery of two stressed babies . They weren’t planned but I thank the midwife who had the foresight to insist they were in place.Especially since the 2 nd deliver (trail of labour ) ended in a rupturing of the uterine wall ! I hate all the judging “oh you had a caesar ..OH”..the most important thing is your baby is safe and you are not dead .
>From a REALLY weak woman (oh, thou of the c-section group), bah!Gimme the drugs, baby!!And as for it slowing down labour? So what? At least it doesn’t hurt then! *wink* ANd what? They’re not going to send you home without having given birth; eventually, the baby WILL come out!
>I just saw an artificial foreskin online and it made me think of your circumsision topic. The video is quite interesting. http://www.senslip.com/
>I didn’t read all 52 comments — but there seem to be a great many testimonials to the epidural here.My wife always wanted one, too. But for each of our five children, the delivery always progressed too quickly for any drugs to be administered.In fact, screaming “I WANT DRUGS!” was just about the last thing my Long Suffering Spouse would, or could, say before each blessed event.There is apparently a “window” of availability, after which the epidural can not be administered.I hope it all works out for you. I believe you have exactly the right attitude when you say you want a healthy baby and some assurance that you won’t bleed to death. These are good priorities to have.
>I would be all about the epidural and should I ever get pregnant, I will proudly admit that to anyone. I have a friend who had twins naturally. Now mind you, the hospital screwed up and lost the paperwork, etc. and that is why she did not get the epi. If you talk to her now, she smiles sweetly and talks about how having them naturally just proved she could do it without the drugs. And she is a real woman for doing it. Me? I just think she is on something because I still have yet to see blue ribbons handed out to women who go without drugs. Her labor nurse even told her there was no yelling in the delivery room. I would have ripped that woman’s throat out of her neck if she had said that to me but hey I have a bit of a temper.I look at it this way, would I want to go under the knife for a surgerical procedure without drugs? Um no. There is a reason they were invented, they should be used.
>I had my first daughter with no drugs and I can say that I could not feel a thing as she exited my body as the pain was mind-numbingly horrendously horrid. And, afterwards, with the pain of being stitched up and the burning and the soreness…oy to the vey. My son’s birth, however, was aided with an epi and while I did go completely numb and couldn’t feel anything, I did feel a strange thump as he exited out my body. The sewing up afterwards? Only the pain of embarassment as it seemed as though the door was open to the hallway and beyond.
>I swear, the moms here crack me UP! I love you guys! As you may know, I have no kids, but back when I was younger and still thought I “might want one someday”, I always said, “Just clock me in the head with a brick, drag that kid out with salad tongs and wake me when he’s ten!” Screw the haters… I say get the dang drugs, ladies. Why be a hero and suffer needlessly? The important thing is that you and your baby make it through safe and sound. ~Monica
>I am a childbirth educator and I always tell my clients that what is most important is that they remember their birth with joy and pleasure: not with fear or pain or anger or regret. If you want that epidural? then plan for it, ask for it, and GET it! You get to have the experience that YOU want and that’s all there is to it.
>Oh yeah, the other thing I kept hearing was about how much the needle in my back would hurt. The truth was that I was given a numbing shot first, so I didn’t even feel the needle in my back- I just felt the mild sting of a regular shot and that was it. No big deal.
>I was induced with my first and I went into the hospital at 10 or so in the morning and they gave me the induction drug and at 2 broke my water. At the first twinge I called for the epidural and had a blast watching TV and talking on the phone. Well about 10 that night I started feeling horrible stabs of pain so I called the nurse and said “I think I need more epidural, this one is wearing off” She checked me and said NO, Your baby is coming out. So the doctor came in and I pushed for a while(It did hurt, but the pain was tolerable). Then at 11:14 she was out.So with my 2nd I wasn’t induced and I didn’t really know what the contractions would feel like so at 11:30 at night I was feeling a little crampy and my husband says lets go to the hospital and have you checked. I was 4 cent when I got there and I wanted an epi but they make you take an IV bag of H2O first which took 30 min. Well in that 30 min I went from 4 to 9 centimeters and it was the most painful, horrific experience ever. SO MUCH PAIN. I got the epi at the very last possible time before labor. The feeling of the pain receding as the epidural kicked in was the best thing ever. So my vote is for the Epidural. Good luck! no matter how it happens it is wonderful:)
>From the lowest of the low c-section club, two unplanned for “failure to progress” after 22 and 15 hours of epi-free Pitocin enhanced labor – thanks for that! – and two planned, I can say that there are plenty of women out there who judge. I’ve been told it’s “unnatural” and had snide comments such as “It must be nice to know the exact day and time.” I need something nice to balance out the pain of major surgery, the forced 24 hours in bed with catheters and drains, the sore backside from being stuck in bed for a day, being forced to wear anti-embolism stockings for 5 days, the screaming headache from the morphine given to me through my spinal…I get very annoyed by people who assume that having a c-section is the ‘easy out’ option. After the first two, it was my only option and I would not wish the resulting scar tissue I’ve had to deal with – having your bladder adhered to your expanding uterus is no fun – on anyone.Isn’t the most important thing delivering a healthy baby? Why do we have to turn how they got here into a competition as to who did it ‘better’? Good on ya, Linds!
>maybe its because I am not a mother that I havent really noticed “the competition” between natural and “un-natural” births. I even asked my friends who have had children. and they looked at me like I was insane for even suggesting that they might have experienced such a thing. Maybe Canadian moms are just nicer to each other? when my mother gave birth to me she was in labour for 36 hours. and then they realized that i was NOT going to come out. by that time my mother was hemorraging very very badly and i was nearly dead. by the time they performed the C-section my heart had stopped beating. and I was 9lbs 11oz.when my mom became pregnant with my brother she scheduled the C-section as soon as she found out. she said it was the best thing she ever did..even though he ended up being way smaller than i was.I thank the powers that be for the availability of pain medications and C-sections. without them my mother and I would not be alive today.I come from a family of very big headed people. when i was born they were scared that i was mentally handicapped due to the sheer enormity of my head. so when i do have children, the world can rest assured that I will be getting that epidural. and I will definitely be prepared for the possibility of the big C.Im happy for the people that can handle a natural birth. more power to ya. and the people who cant or wont? Im happy for them too. because in the end all those people have wonderfully adorable babies to take home and love. and THAT is what matters. Neither one is better than the other. Neither one is “insane”. they are just different.oh..yeah..delurking. I love reading your blog-A
>Epidural + scheduled c-section = mighty fine time birthing babies.
>I experienced as much of the “real birthing experience” as I’d not care to with my daughter. There’s a reason why they put you in a room with bullets to bite on and freezer thick doors when you go into labor. I’m pretty sure I was spewing explitives in a way that would make an exorcism look tame. They had to pin me down to give me the spinal, because Gizmo was upside down and the whole bloody earth was moving and she was trying to come out fanny first – and I’m not a good sport (I’m kind of like a wounded dog when I’m in pain – I’ll freaking bite anyone that gets close.) I was ready to pull my lip over my head until they had that spinal in me, and then life was soooo good (until I accidently looked over and saw the reflection of my C section surgery in the windows of the medicine cabinets. I soooo did NOT need to see that…)btw, I had an epidural with my first (he came out the erie canal the way nature intended)… started labor at 7pm, ended at 7:30 with three pushes. No problems at all.
>Another fan of sweet, sweet, Mr. Epidural here. It made my two birthing experiences utterly enjoyable and relaxed. I went from sheer agony to laughter in mere minutes after getting my epi’s. I wouldn’t do it any other way. (Oh, and I could walk fine immediately after both births.)
>I had both my kids C-Section. (my first baby was breech, I HAD to have one. I don’t know why I’ve had to explain that to people.) I was always terrified of childbirth and God must have known I was a chicken, that’s what I think.It’s a longer recovery, though.I don’t understand when women feel bad about C-sections or having an epidural. I could care less, even if some women are now being given a C-section just because they want one.The important thing is, did mom make it through “OK” and is there a beautiful, healthy baby?
>I am one of the super-low: 4 c-sections, one emergent with an epi already in, and 3 planned, the last with a tubal tacked on. I’ve always hated the judgment that goes along with my births, the feeling that I always have to justify my first c-section with the explanation of TRUE CPD (DD and I both would have died in the days before c-sections). All four are here, I’m here, it’s all good. God bless the drugs.
>The epidural needs no defense. It’s like having to defend chocolate. You don’t want it? Be my guest. Your loss. I don’t get the whole “natural” thing but I do support women’s abilities to choose the birth they want. My main concern is when the labor progresses differently than they had hoped and they make decisions based on some fantasy of the perfect labor instead of the reality of the situation. Any good doula, midwife or ob should tell women that a birthplan is a wishlist. Not a roadmap.
>You have so many responses, I didn’t even read them all – my comment? EPIDURALS rule!!! Some people are into the natural PAIN – I preferred to feel the birth and some discomfort, but no life altering PAIN!!!
>Yeah but at least you have some idea of what to expect. Me, I’m a newbie. EVERYthing freaks me out – natural AND epidural. =)We’re getting into the home stretch….!!!!
>Epdiruals are a Godsend! And I am so thankful someone finally said it. Although, I spread the word as much as I can and I get the “looks” because I don’t even want to try natural. I love your web-site and your articles because they generally convey exactly how I feel, I just don’t have a forum to say it and I’m so glad you do!! For the record, and everyone can think what they want, I had an epidural with my first son, planning to give birth vaginally. In the end there were a few minor complications and after 26 + hours of labor (I got the epidural at 20 I believe) they performed a C-section on me. It was not an emergency, so I was awake for everything. Who cares how he/she is delivered as long as you have a healthy baby? I cringe when people who don’t know me say that people who had c-sections aren’t as ‘connected’ with their child. You obviously haven’t met me and and my son. I am now pregnant with my second child. I was seen by a mid-wife the other day at my appt as opposed to my doctor. I informed her that after reading up on the subject, I would prefer to have the scheduled c-section. The look of shock I received in return was incredible. First of all, I read every piece of literature I can when I am choosing any procedure that has to do with my body. And while I feel I should not have to explain why I chose what I did, I found myself compelled to explain to her that I read the risks of a VBAC and a second C-Section and that in the end I am more comfortable with what I am familiar with. I know what the recovery process is like, I know what the surgery is like, I’m familiar with the risks. I felt like I was going to burst into tears in her office when she was subtly shaking her head at me as I explained this. It was horrible to admit that I would rather go with what I knew, and was comfortable with and that I was scared to death of the old incision opening if I attempted a VBAC.In the end she said “We’ll have your old ops file sent here just in case you change your mind”I won’t change my mind. Everything that has to do with MY pregnancy and MY body, is MY personal choice…. so why do people make you feel so bad when you make a decision?
>I passed the point of no return with both children. I was not happy. When I went in with #2 – LLB – I told them at the registration desk that my name was epidural. She came too fast for the epi, but… I survived.Get the Epidural!xoLBC
>I miscarried naturally at 10 weeks, and the pain of that was awful, even though I presume it’s nothing close to the pain associated with delivering a full term baby. Anyway, I knew that night that if I ever do give birth, I will be getting an epidural for sure!!
>I had an epidural with my first, and it was sweet, sweet heaven. I remember everything about that morning, and felt wonderful afterwards.With my second, I didn’t get to the hospital until I was 8 cm. They gave me a painkiller that just made me groggy, then gave me an epidural that did not kill the pain but instead created a “hot spot”–it focused ALL the pain on one spot, in my hip, and it was *excrutiating.* That wore off before I had to push, and the delivery was so painful; I was not prepared for a drug-free birth at all, and what I remember of the whole experience was just terrible.Moral of my story: be prepared for anything. And remember the goal: not a pain-free birth or a “natural” birth, but a healthy baby!
>When I read about most of these Mommy Wars topics the first thing that comes to mind is why in the hell can’t people mind their own damn business? I have had two hyperemesis pregnancies, so I have had to take a lot of medication in my pregnancies to keep me and the baby alive. I can barely eat, much less take pre-natal vitamins and for me, pregnancy isn’t natural. With my first child, I took all the classes and did all the prep work to have an unmedicated birth and I was in so much pain that none of the relaxation tips worked and my labor was stalling. I asked for the epidural and went from 2-3cm to 10 in about 6 hours. I actually enjoyed the birth and was able to feel my son come out. I am glad that I did have the epidural as my son (8lbs 1oz) had mild shoulder dystocia at birth so there was a lot of pulling and an episiotomy. I was able to walk right after the birth and didn’t have a problem. So yay epidurals- how I love thee! With this current pregnancy (36 weeks and my God am I ready to deliver) there is a good chance that I will have to have a C-section due to the fact that I can’t have a baby bigger than my first child as my pelvis isn’t that big. Unfortunately in my family 8lb babies are considered tiny so there is a good chance I could have a 9-10 pounder! Am I upset that I might have to have a c-section? Hell no. I remember the terror I felt when they had trouble getting my son out and after reading more about shoulder dystocia I know that a c-section would be the right thing to do. I often say thank God for c-sections because without one my mother and I would be dead due to severe CPD- I was 9lbs and my mom would have been lucky to deliver a 5lber- her pelvis is that small. With my first child I did not breastfeed because I just didn’t have it in me after a horrific hyperemesis pregnancy. It took my body almost a year and a half to recover from being so malnurished. I didn’t make a single drop of milk and I have no qualms about having to formula feed my son. I was so starved there was no way I could have given him anything. With this pregnancy my hyperemesis is better managed so I am going to give breastfeeding a try. If it doesn’t work out, then oh well. My SIL has a body made for childbirth- she never gets sick during pregnancy, has amazing labors (one with an epidural and one without) and makes enough milk for a ton of babies. She isn’t any better than I am, she is just built differently. Why beat myself up over something that I have no control over- I didn’t design my body? How she chooses to parent is none of my business and how I chose to parent is none of hers. In the end her sons are as healthy as mine is! In the grand scheme of things, as long as my children come into this world alive and healthy then I think I did a good job at labor and delivery. I get so angry when I hear the child abuse label bandied about because a woman does extended nursing, gives formula, had an epidural in a hospital with lots of interventions or an unassisted homebirth. Talk to a CPS social worker about real child abuse sometime and you will see what abuse really is. After all this rambling I just have to say that as mothers we are all trying to do the best we can, and sometimes that is a scary thing. It might seem easier to beat someone else up over a choice that they made that was different than yours, but really what purpose does that serve? Mind your own business and remember that if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything. No one is given the “Right Way to Parent” manual- we are all doing this by the skin of our teeth so let’s be nice. Phew. It felt good to get that off my chest.
>Oh PISH! I knew that I was going to need an epidural. I knew I had no tollerance for pain. I knew that if anyone challenged me about wanting an epidural – they were C-R-A-Z-Y…. I even asked the anestesiologist to marry me once he gave me the epidural. 🙂
>I have given birth to 4 children all without benefit of an epi or any pain relief medication. All 4 were horribly overdue and induced by breaking my water and administering pitocin. I would have loved to have an epidural. I don’t think the lack of pain (or reduction of pain) would have made the experience any less wonderful – probably just the opposite. Unfortunately I wasn’t give that option. When my daughter had her first child I told her to start asking for an epi from her first doctor’s appointment. She did- she got one- it was wonderful for her. I will be recommending the same to all of my daughters.
>Why on earth other women would think having a four inch incision in your stomach to remove the child is beyond me.You can’t lift anthing heavier than baby for a month, you can’t drive, you can’t get up from a seated position or laugh or got the bathroom without pain.AND …. I can’t imagine how AWFUL a c-section would be for a mother of more than one kid. How awful it would be to not be able to lift up the older baby for like a month. So not only is older kid adjusting to a new baby in the family, the kid’s mama can’t pick him up to comfort him.Yeah, really easy.
>Uh Anon who is wondering why someone would have a c-section? I had a vaginal birth and I still couldn’t pick up anything heavier than my child, couldn’t drive for 2 weeks, had pain in standing and sitting and had pain when going to the bathroom. I didn’t have an incision in my belly but I had hemmoroids bigger than your head and tore so trust me, I was in a good bit of pain. Just because a baby comes out vaginally doesn’t mean that you are pain free and ready to go dancing! Because I am pregnant my OB told me not to pick up my son (he is 30lbs) so we have figured out ways to improvise. Trust me, he is still cuddled and held and comforted, despite my inability to pick him up. By your rationale, is any mother who cannot pick up a child because of other physical ailments cruel as well?Enough with the judgement people!
>Thank God I had an epidural during the birth of my first daughter because after laboring for 6 hours, they had to do an emergency c-section. Had I not already been hooked up with the epidural then they would have put me out and I would have missed the birth of my first child. :(If you had a broken arem would you have it fixed with out a little pain medication?Having an epidural with the second allowed me to enjoy the process with my family. I felt rested and happy upon meeting my new daughter.
>I just read the comment from Anon about C-Sections. I had two c-sections and after the second had no problems picking up my older daughter, etc. As a matter of fact I think I felt nearly 100% a week after having #2. The second c-section often has a musch faster recovery. And FYI I didn’t choose to have one, my first was an emergency to save my daughter’s life! Stop with the judging.
>Epidurals are wonderful. After 4 days worth of labor with DS#1 you could have hit me over the head with a brick to kill the pain and I would have been happy. I was in so much pain from the contractions I never felt the needle go into my back. BONUS. Fast forward 6 yrs to DS#2. Repeat C contractions pretty minumal. Still did not feel the needle in my back. Gotta love emla cream. Since I am not able to give birth naturally I can’t honestly say I would try no meds if I were to ever get PG again. No I could honestly say… Hell NO!!!
>Hmmm…I’m curious – has anyone’s doctor ever offered them a gratuitous c-section? I mean, none of my OBs ever said “If you’d like a c-section…” Where does the idea that women choose to have a c-section come from?
>Virginia – Britney Spears – not that I was THERE, but word was that she asked to have one because she was scared of vaginal birth. Me, myself, I would prefer vaginal because OMG – SOMEONE CUTTING ME??? I never thought of it as a choice thing, I’ve always thought of it as do what has to be done.I think it’s funny that the post was about epidurals but the conversation TOTALLY went to V vs C birth.
>I read that celebrities have c-sections because they don’t want their hoo ha’s to get stretched out. Really. I did.
>Have had 3 c-sections. Nothing like what anon describes.
>I thought I was going to try and breath through the pain – yeah right! A friend who is a nurse and mother of 2 said these great words “We take an aspirin for a headache, why not have an epidural?” and my docor also made the comment that how great it is that medical science has come this far that women do not have to deal with this pain.
>How about “there’s no time for an epidural, the baby’s coming NOW!” That’s what happened to both my 2nd and 3rd children. 22 minutes and no epi for both. And you know, really it wasn’t that bad! My hubbie dubbed me “the bull” for being so brave. Now only if I can get him to get his thing snip snip.
>Boy, this post and comments were fun to read! I’m all for epidurals, and I guess I’m lucky that no one has ever put down my decision to have one, at least not to my face…. or maybe people know better than to try! ;)Anyway, as I was riding the Pitocin waves of ghastly agony, I just about ripped the handrail off the hospital bed. Not a pleasant labor experience, and certainly not one to remember fondly. Fortunately, I asked for and received my epidural pretty quickly after that — and the rest of the birth experience was a lovely memory. I highly recommend being able to enjoy birth without pain.
>My doctor encouraged an epidural with all three kids. And I enjoyed all the births.I could have kissed the anestesiologist after putting the needle in.
>Watch out for the wicked afterbirth pains a few hours after giving birth to your second child. Just be prepared with pain killers, as by then the epidural will be well worn off.
>I haven’t read all the comments, but here’s my advice: Get the epidural BEFORE your contractions start. They might not let you do that, but if you can, go for it. That’s what I did with babies #2 and #3. I have high-risk pregnancies, so that had a lot to do with it, but even getting the epi was less painful when I wasn’t also dealing with contractions. And my feelings about natural birth are: Most of life is spent figuring out how to avoid pain. I loved being able to feel and push, but also being able to sleep and be relaxed. If it makes a birth more pleasant and easier, why not? And it did not affect my babies’ abilities to nurse. I did end up with a spinal headache after the third epi, but it was still worth it.
>For as long as I can remember, my mother has proudly told me about how she never took so much as a Tylenol during her pregnancies, and would never have considered drugging her unborn babies. Needless to say, I received a considerable amount of pressure from her during my pregnancy, so I resorted to secretly plotting to have an epidural. I didn’t have to tell her all my decisions, right? Well, as has also been brough up on this blog, during my pregnancy, other mothers took it upon themselves to rehash pregnancy and birth horror stories in my presense. One day at a party, the women began talking about who had an epidural and who didn’t. One woman who had an epidural told a horror story of how her liver and then heart gave out during the birth, she and the baby nearly died, and then her insurance dropped her after. I decided then and there to not have one after all. I wish I had known about the stories told here at that time.I think it’s possible that Anonymous left a few words out of her post, and was mocking people who make it sound like a c-section is the easy way to go. Perhaps not, but it the beginning of the post is so choppy, it’s possible a few words didn’t make it in.My OB offered me the option of a planned c-section during my very first appointment. I turned him down immediately, because at that point I was still trying to cope with the life-changing news, and wasn’t thinking about the actual giving birth bit.
>Well, let’s see. I have one child, who I had an epi with. They first gave me the laughing gas crap, which does nothing except get you a little high. I eventually demanded an epi. They told dh to talk me out of it, he told them that they don’t have to live with me. When they then tried to take the gas away, apparently I morphed into that chick from “The Exorcist”, my head began spinning, and I grabbed the nurse by the collar. “EPIDURAL NOW.” I growled, and wouldn’t let go. They had to promise me the epi first.They…um…relented and birth was surprisingly peaceful and pain free after that.If you need the epi, get the epi-and make sure your husband is willing to fight for you on that point. As for those that judge..so what?
>I’ve had 2 healthy babies & 2 epidurals. For the second baby, I was induced. I asked the doctor if I could come in early and have the epidural the night before. He, of course, said no..but I had to try. Epidurals are the reason I was able to stay sane and conscious during my babies births. I am not a good birther.
>When I rec’d my epi, I could have sworn that the dr (who came through the swinging doors) had angels behind him – singing (hall lights, background noise).I felt a pinch when the epi was put in, but ‘heard’ a crunching noise in my head that made me yell “EW!”When the meds hit, I told the dr. that he was beautiful and asked him if he was married.My husband was standing there the entire time.(For the record, the dr. was around 60 – and he WAS married. Happily.)
>i had precipitous labor with both of mine and would have been oh, so happy to have an epidural! Alas, there was no time. I still sulk about it now and then. 😉
>Well, with the C-section topic, I had to have one with my first. And, maybe I just didn’t follow the doctor’s orders and had a faster recovery, but I drove. And I had no problem getting up and moving around. I was out of the hospital in 48 hours and my….Regardless (I’ll go on and on)I currently work for the Army and I am living in Germany. At our hospital, because I previously had a c-section, I was offered the option of a VBAC or another C-Section. There are risks associated with both so they let me weigh the risks and decide.Originally, before I found out I was pregnant I was going downtown to my German Doctor. When my pregnancy test came out positive, he asked which procedure I preferred. I looked at him and said, I have the choice? ( He didn’t know I had a previous c-section yet). He said well, its you body, your baby, and your medical bill, of course its your choice.Just thought it might convey the difference between Germany and the US
>I don’t think anyone should tag anyone as crazy for anything. As I mother who went with midwives at a birth center, I constantly heard the opposite of what Lucinda is getting: that I was out of my mind and I’d be begging for drugs. People would ask me my plans and I’d just say, “I have midwives,” never elaborating about anything because I knew what was coming next. Finally, I just started lying, saying I was delivering at the hospital. In the end, I maxed out at 4 centimeters, needed Pitocin, had to have a hospital transfer due to my lack of progress, and then had a c-section after 27 hours of labor. I honestly felt like some people (my co-workers, for example) were secretly happy about this turn of events. And let me say this too: I was never sanctimonious about any of my choices. I never said, “I’m going natural because it’s the only way to go, people!” In fact, I hardly even talked about that facet of a midwife-supported birth outside my family. I knew birth could be complicated; I knew I might need the help of an obstetrician. I also knew, as Lucinda pointed out in her very funny essay, that I might not be able to do it; that the pain might be so intense that I felt I might die. I was as prepared as I could be for those things. I just really didn’t truly think I’d end up with an operation. No matter how it takes place, though, it’s giving birth. Drugs, no drugs, whether the babe comes from your hoo-ha or from an incision in your gut, it’s your baby, and you did it! And that deserves a whole lot of congratulations!
>Yeah, I bought into that natural thing hook, line and sinker with my first pregnancy. We came into l&d with the birth ball, the aromatherapy and a cd player with relaxing music. We used none of it. Not a thing. I got the epidural a 2cm after about 20 hours of labor. I luuuurrrrvvvved it.Great labor, great delivery, awesome kid.Epidurals rock!
>I guess I’m a few days late with this comment, but it seems like nearly every single commenter here is making a very erroneous assumption – that labor and birth have to be painful. There are tribal cultures that simply don’t believe birth is painful. And for them, it isn’t. In many cases (not all), our beliefs really do determine our reality. Several women I know IN REAL LIFE (not just from the internet) have had typical American painful labors and then learned about how the body is intended to work and have gone on to have painless labors. After two painful labors, that’s what I’m planning for my third 🙂 I’ll let you know if it worked in 6 months or so.
>Heh heh. Forgive me if I snicker. 😉
>I didn’t have an epidural with my daughter–major spine problems had me so fearful of needles that it would have been impossible to do my epidural with only a local. It didn’t hurt that there was loads of doctor’s and nurse’s notes about what happens when someone tries to shove needles in my back without sedating the hell out of me first, so I got ZERO flak about going the old-fashioned narcotic route.
>For our firstborn I’d decided I didn’t want anything – just some laughing gas. And when I changed my mind (the laughing gas didn’t do anything for me, except put me in a foul mood), they said it was too late. Well, it was – he was out half an hour later, and with him, the pain. I got up and had a shower while hubby bathed him, then we called our families..With the quads, they wanted to give me an epidural. Told me to lie on the side and bend over. Yeah, you try that with stomach full of babies… So, after 7 shots that didn’t do anything but create pain, they ended up with general anaesthesia, thankfully.. And a c-section, naturally. Now, I’d rather have had 4 ‘natural births’ than this c-section, but that’s a different matter…The only thing I wonder is — why do people decide long time beforehand they want this drug or no drug or whatever? Read up on it, ok, but how about seeing how it goes? I’ve had friends with horrible births, and friends with ridiculously light births (according to them!) — and there wouldn’t be any point to it if the ‘light’ births had been drugged down? At least my friends say so, I’m not having any more, so it’s all fine by me…
>I have five children and I will scream it from the rooftops that I asked for the epidural as soon as I got to the hospital with all of them! My BEST labor was the one where the dr. let me have the epidural BEFORE getting induced so I never felt ONE ounce of pain and was pleasant and comfortable throughout the entire thing. That’s plenty more beautiful than me screaming at everyone that comes into the room because I feel like my anal cavity is about to rip open. (I felt my fair share of pain with the others when a. the idiot anesthesiologist wouldn’t get there in time to ‘refresh’ my dose of the epidural and I had to feel all the pain of delivery, and b. the idiot anesthesiologist inserted the epidural wrong, etc… but I’d get one again if I ever gave birth to number six… which I don’t currently plan on doing). :)p.s. I wonder if all those touting how wonderful ‘natural’ childbirth is had any drugs when they got their wisdom teeth pulled?!?!