>Oh, What a Relief It is
>When I was growing up, finding something to eat in our perpetually packed-to-the-brim refrigerator was a delicate, and at times disgusting, operation.
If I wanted milk, I could usually find some; of course, the expiration date had come around about three weeks ago, but what of it? Cheese was plentiful and varied, so long as I was willing to scrape off the mold before I ate it. I could usually find a few bits of still-edible greens among the slimy muck inside a long-expired Dole Express bag. There might even be half a filet mignon (from a month ago) or some well-seasoned leftover chili (first served two weeks earlier, best I could remember).
“Mom,” I’d say, “isn’t this chicken salad from last summer?”
“It’s fine,” she’d say dismissively. “I had some the other day.”
In fact, the most common words uttered in our kitchen were: “Taste this.” Taste this and tell me if it’s rancid, is what we meant. Taste this and if you don’t die in the next thirty minutes, I might have some, too.
It wasn’t until I met my husband that I realized not everybody had my family’s cavalier attitude about food and its longevity. When we married and began sharing a refrigerator, it ended up providing a backdrop for many of our earliest marital disputes.
“What are you doing?!” I’d ask after catching him furtively dumping half a lasagna down the disposal. “I just made that three weeks ago!”
“You can’t eat three-week-old lasagna!” he’d say incredulously. “You’ll get sick!” I begged to differ. I had eaten three-week-old lasagna before. The fact that I’d had cramps and vomiting afterward was entirely irrelevant.
For a few years, we went back and forth on sell-by dates and whether they were open to interpretation. “The date is there for a reason,” he’d say. “Yeah,” I’d agree. “The reason is that they want you to buy more milk! Duh!” But one day, everything changed.
I had a baby.
Suddenly, playing refrigerator roulette wasn’t so appealing. It was one thing for me to suffer through 24 straight hours of diarrhea after wolfing down a salad with three-year-old blue cheese dressing. It was another thing altogether for me to inflict that kind of pain on my child. Within no time, I had completely reformed, throwing out anything that seemed the slightest bit off, even if the expiration date was good. Hubs, obviously, was pleased that I had crossed over to his way of thinking. We spent many a cozy moment making goo goo eyes at each other as we passed the milk and roast beef back and forth, smelling it to determine whether its time had come.
After a few years of this, you can imagine the jolt of nausea nostalgia I felt upon returning to my childhood home this week for a visit and rooting through the refrigerator for a drink for my three-year-old.
“I need to go to the grocery to get some milk for Punky,” I said a day or so after we’d arrived.
“We have some in the fridge,” my dad replied.
“Yeah, but it expired a week and a half ago.”
“It’s still fine, though,” he insisted. “Taste it.“
I paused for a moment, considering. Maybe he was right. Maybe the milk was absolutely fine.
Then again, maybe he was wrong and Punky would end up turning green and projectile vomiting that milk all over my new Marc Jacobs bag.
“I need to go to the grocery,” I said again.
It was a bit of an awkward moment, but you know, I’ve found that life without Tums can be a beautiful, beautiful thing.
>First, I need to say: GACK!! Second, I will definitely not be winning any housekeeping awards any time soon. That said, I can’t count the number of times I’ve gone to my parents’ house and discovered a carton of milk at least a week to ten days past its expiration date. And, upon smelling it, I have discovered numerous times that it’s totally rancid (and I’ve thrown it out). I used to think they were just buying too much milk and not using it up fast enough, but I also have realized that they leave it out for hours after they use it. ??? I’m probably extra sensitive about the milk thing, ever since the time my ex and I took our son to a restaurant and he was served rotten milk. We’d wondered why he wasn’t drinking it, and I finally found out the reason after I tasted it and nearly vomited. Since that time, I’ve tasted any and all milk before my son drinks it — except at my house, where I never keep milk past the expiration date. ;^)
>LOL! I loved this post! This is one for the hall of funny ones.
>My problem with leftovers isn’t deciding when ingestion is no longer a viable option; it’s waiting too long before the concoction morphs into a living, breathing, EATING THANG, that attempts to break out of the ‘fridge and hunt me down.One night I came home from work, and found my pet rock, Seymour, cowering in the corner, holding my golf putter in a defensive manner, and pointing at the ‘fridge.I probably shouldn’t wait that long the next time…
>Very funny. This is one of those areas of home management that I’m trying hard to conquer. I’ve taken to tagging leftovers with a little piece of freezer tape before I toss them in the fridge. I try to push the leftovers within a couple days of putting them in there. Then of course I’ll find a container dated 6 weeks ago & it totally grosses me out! It’s a never ending battle. But man, I hate throwing out food! But sheesh! Lindsay’s parents: Don’t eat it!!!
>A few weeks ago at my inlaws, I found an unopened thing of milk that was 3 days past it’s date. It was all they had, and my son wanted it, and they insisted that it was fine. I knew I shouldnt have done it, he did end up with liqui-shit. I was so mad, I should have known better. But they convinced me that unopened milk still had time.
>LMAO here! I can always count on you for a good laugh!
>Growing up my mom saved everything. Usually,though, we ate a lot of leftovers so most things didn’t have time to expire. The problem is,that thought process of saving everything/not wasting anything is forever ingrained in my mind. I do the exact same thing now as an adult. Sadly, though we never eat the stuff I’ve saved. I only wind up with a bunch of science experiments in my fridge which of course hubby hates.But I just can’t stop saving everything. I swear i need some type of 12 step program or something….*sigh*
>Oh, this is sooo me and my husband! The thing is, if something’s got a date on it, then I definitely go by it. I don’t want to be throwing up everywhere. And I especially hate spoiled milk. BUT, skim milk has NO fat in it and it ALWAYS (well, almost always) lasts longer than its use by date. Hubs DOES NOT agree and we’ve done the “TASTE IT” rumble many a time.
>Bwahahahahaha!I had an entirely different problem growing up. Save for some goats milk and alfalfa, there was and still is nothing to eat in my parent’s fridge.
>That’s my MIL and I’ve gotten sick countless times eating her food. Here we throw things out BEFORE the expiration date thanks to the husband.
>This must be a parent thing because I swear my parents do the very same thing as yours!!!
>My husband is exactly like this too! He’ll eat absolutely anything!!! Ick!!!
>It sounds like a depression era thing to me. All older people I know are like this.
>For years my husband ate food that I refused to, and made no connection with the occasional intense intestinal distress he had with no other symptoms. He seems to have finally changed his ways.
>Oh brother, does this sound familiar. The first words out of my sister’s mouth everytime she opens my mother’s frig are “how old is this.” My mother gets a bit defensive about it, but as an adult, I gag at just the thought of spoiled (lumpy) milk. Too many bad experiences.’Scuce me, I have to go puke now.
>My husband grew up in the house you’re describing. He warned me never to eat anything that I had not actually seen prepared in front of me, out of canned ingredients. I foolishly thought he was exaggerating. Until my MIL babysat for my daughter one night, fed her “leftover” macaroni beef casserole, and the vomiting/diarrhea you describe ensued. Leftovers get 2 days in our fridge, then they’re out. Of course, with 2 teenage boys in the house, it’s not that big a concern.
>I’m so glad another couple has had this issue! My family is also of the impression “smell it, taste it, or scrape it” – it’s probably still good!Trouble is, I can’t help but think it has made me and my sisters somehow more resilient to food bacteria. I’ve never had food poisoning, and never remember getting sick from something I ate because it was out of date. I could be totally wrong, but the thought has crossed my mind on many occasions. Guess I’ll never really know! PS- changed my ways after marriage & babies too!
>I grew up with a packed fridge AND things left out on the counter overnight that should have been refridgerated, then eaten the next day.Good lord.I am a wee bit anal about things as a mom, and I know why! Life without Tums is a GREAT thing!
>My stomach is churning just reading this post! Too funny.
>”Refrigerator roulette” – that’s awesome.
>OMG, I am such a clean “fridge-a-phobe, OK so it really isn’t a real word. BUT, yes I am!
>I live by myself so naturally I am terrified of getting sick, because if I am about to die, no one can rescue me!I check the expiration dates religiously and do not eat anything (cooked) that is more than 3 days old!
>My husband is the food police too! Though I agree with him on the ‘sell by dates’ (especially with milk) and usually on the number of days leftovers can ‘last’ in the fridge without horrible consequences. My parents also save everything, but my dad is such a ‘vacuum’ (he’ll eat anything), that most leftovers don’t last too long.
>Great post. So funny, in Bossy’s house it’s all, “Smell this,” which is arguably worse.
>This is so funny. What a great post.
>How many days do you have after the food reaches its “Sell by” date? 3? 5? Are the days different for different foods?Maybe I better eat fresh….
>It’s almost straight from our marriage except it was my family that had the “taste it” test. My wife was expiration date queen. I ultimately came around to her way of thinking. Our Instructions to the kids when dropping them off at grandma’s included, “Always check the expiration dates before Grandma feeds you anything”.
>My parents were the exact same way. I grew up thinking it was normal until my friends started bringing their own snacks when they spent the night. The smell of my parents fridge brings upon dry heaves whenever I visit.
>I grew up in the opposite household.I was the only kid in my kindergarten class that knew what botulism was, and was certain that it began after a glass of milk was left unattended for more than 15 minutes.
>I married into a “taste it” family. I had a lot of rancid vomit inducing bites of food before I realized that the taste test was not for flavor but for toxicity. haha. 🙂
>LOL! Growing up we didn’t really keep leftovers, thank goodness, my mom didn’t believe in more than a couple days. It helped that we had five kids in the family:) Flash forward to one of the first meals at my in-laws, I’m making the salad and she hands me a bag of shredded cheddar–way outdated, and tells me to just pick out the bad stuff. Well let me tell you, it was impossible, it was all bad. I caught the attention of my husband and he came to the rescue and threw it out! Last year they were snowed in with us when their power went out too. She brought 4 items to share that were all outdated! I think it is just the depression era thinking OR pure old age. Who knows?!
>With 8 people in the house, we never had leftovers in my childhood home. But my husbands mothers fridge sounds a lot like your parents. Her fridge could be the homebase for a study on rates of decomposition. Nice to know there are others like her, I thought she was a lone freakazoid.
>My husband would fit in with your family. He has a cast iron stomach and a propensity for never throwing away food. No matter how old it is.It’s always a gastrically happy time when he’s out of town. Wink, wink.
>yuck, my da keeps food 4ever 2. i wont eat it if i dun eat all my fish he putsit in tha frige but i wont eat it.i dun drink milk so i dun care how long its in there. i never eat food over 2 days its just gross !!!
>Wow! It’s like you’re inside my brain. I used to be sick aaaalll the time. Once I had kids, nothing in my fridge lived longer than a week unless it was mustard or jam.thanks for the belly laugh!
>I love it. My boyfriend is just like your family! He’ll pull stuff from condensation laced tupperware out of the fridge and when I stare him in horror he just says “Dude, it’s fine, it’s only like a month old,” while he grabs a fork and walks away. All well and good for you cast-iron-stomached folks, but those of us prone to fancy things like e-coli and salmonella have to watch out!
>i love this post. well, as much as you can love something like science projects in the refrigerator. but i can relate. we were having dinner at my mom’s (my husband, kids & i), and she had made spaghetti. well, one of the kids asked for “sprinkle cheese” to go on top. she began to root around in the back of a cabinet and brought out a container of what we were fairly sure used to be grated parmesan cheese. it was ORANGE! when we made the kids pass, we checked the date. of course, it’s timer had dinged a long time ago. her response? but it’s never been opened. ACKH!
>Oh my gosh, it was like reading about my own dad. He’s the butt of all our jokes at family gatherings because NO ONE in our family has taken after him in that area. I respect expiration dates, no matter what the food is!