>On My Mind: Jamie Lynn Spears
>I was as surprised as anyone to hear the news several weeks ago that 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears was pregnant. And my first thought was the same as many others: What a family. What the hell is wrong with those girls?
But now, I’ve changed my thinking. Jamie Lynn was doing something a lot of other girls her age are doing, something that’s glorified on Gossip Girl, reminisced about in popular music, and discussed endlessly in teen magazines. The fact that she was having sex was not exactly shocking. So why are the tabloids going all puritanical on her ass?
Jamie Lynn could easily have had an abortion and most likely, no one would have known. Her career probably would have continued to blossom. But instead, Jamie Lynn decided to step up, take responsibility for her actions and have the baby. I think that in Jamie Lynn’s case, it was absolutely the right decision. She has the financial means and the support system to care for her child, as inconvenient as it might be for her career. She’s sacrificing her own personal goals in order to do what, in her case, is probably the right thing.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I think every 16-year-old girl who gets pregnant is in any position to have a baby. But why are we as a society making it that much harder for them to choose having the child over an abortion? Why are we so judgmental of pregnant teenagers, when many of us were guilty once of the very same actions that got them pregnant?
I’m pro choice, simply because I don’t think the government should have any say over a woman’s right to decide whether to grow and give birth to a baby in her own body. But personally, I take abortion very, very seriously. I worry about the emotional toll abortion will take on a young woman’s life down the road. I feel sad thinking that so many potentially wonderful human beings never get a chance to exist. I feel sad thinking that our treatment of pregnant, unwed mothers has a lot to do with many women’s decisions to have abortions.
A pregnant teen who’s choosing to have her baby is going to go through enough hardship without me adding my pitying look to the mix. Jamie Lynn starred in a popular teen program. As a mom, I predict that five years from now, she’ll say having her child was worth a thousand TV shows.
What do you think?
>I think she is definitely doing the right thing, too. I actually feel sorry for her and Britney both.
>I agree and disagree. IMO…From what we’ve seen and heard, does she really have the support system she needs? IMO…I’m glad she didn’t go the abortion route but in some strange way I’m wondering if she’s hoping by keeping this baby her life will get better. (you know, like, “marry the abuser and he’ll change” kind of mentality…) IMO…I don’t know. I don’t know her, I don’t know her family but what I do know is she’s too young to have a baby, money/fame or not.
>I think you’re right: a lot of 16 year olds are having sex. I’m pro choice as well. I hope that she uses this opportunity to be a role model to all of the teenage girls who look up to her. I hope that, even though I’m sure she will love her baby, she does not glorify teen pregnancy. Most teenagers aren’t celebrities who can afford nannies, etc. For most people it is HARD to have a baby, and even harder if you’re not ready.Great post. Thought provoking.
>The girl is in a better financial state than most of the people that actually read your blog, that’s for sure. So in that respect she’s going to be in an okay position to have a child. As long as she doesn’t go in the unfortunate direction that her sister did, I think she’ll be fine. Sure, for right now the girl’s career is doomed – but she’ll be able to return in a few years. The TMZ & Perez Hilton society that we’re in right now loves to see a star go down – but the truth is we love a comeback even more. We have amnesia when it comes to stuff like that. We used to look at Ozzy Osbourne as the crazy rocker guy who bit the head off a bat a long time ago and thanks to reality tv we look at him as just another father who can’t operate a remote control without his teenage son’s help. I ate it up when Martha went to prison but wasn’t it great when she actually came back with a daily tv show on NBC? And you’re right, Jamie Lynn could have just as easily had an abortion and continued on with life without skipping a beat. She might have lived to regret it as so many young girls do when they get older and realized what they lost. Now, she’ll be able to get the help she needs and hopefully her mom and the baby’s father & family will be able to give this child a wonderful start. She’ll have no regrets. If only they could all step in and fix Britney…
>I think that you’re 100% right on. I was 17 when I got pregnant and what I was going to do was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. I was in a committed, solid (for 17) relationship with the dad, so that was something, but to our parents, the idea of keeping the baby was pretty much off the table.I had one set of parents urging me toward adoption and the other set of parents urging me toward abortion. Honestly, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do either of those things. I was going to have my baby.And let me tell you, it was HARD. I wasn’t alone, but I lived 1000 miles from my parents (having moved almost *immediately* before hand) and didn’t know very many people, but at least I had my son’s father and his support network.I remember being judged very harshly, always by people who didn’t know me at all and assumed that because I was/we were young that we were somehow doing a disservice to our child and to society at large, but I never lived off the state and, believe it or not, I am a VERY good mother (if unconventional).I’m 32 years old now, and my son is 14. We have a really wonderful relationship and I’m glad that I’m young enough to still be in touch with the things he’s interested in.I didn’t really “miss out” on anything either, although I did come into some things later in life than most of my peers. I can’t say that I’ve avoided making mistakes, but I’ve avoided some of the more typical young adult ones.You know, I read a wonderful post just the other day about a woman who was raised Catholic talking about abortion and one of the things she said was that the “pro-life” movement isn’t so much anti-abortion as anti-SEX, which explains the scorn that is given to young and/or unwed mothers. It’s the idea that you shouldn’t be engaging in that sinful behavior, therefore you deserve to be punished with a child.As hard as it’s been, no, as trying as it’s been, I don’t feel like I’ve been punished. I have a great kid, I had him very young and now that he’s a teenager and starting to come into his own, I am still young, so I can enjoy it and have all the lessons I learned from raising him and being flexible enough to know that I don’t have all the answers.Someone needed to say this. Thank you for doing it.
>I see what you’re saying about how teen sex is glorified all over the place today, but are they glorifying unprotected/stupid sex? I’m certainly not going to be wagging my finger at any teens for gettin’ it on, but couldn’t she have used a condom? Or been on birth control? It’s not like she couldn’t have had access to prevention. The timing of this post is interesting, as there have been several stories in the news today about how she will be turning the baby over to her mom so she won’t have to “sacrifice her career.”Yes, god forbid she take any responsibility.Looking at Britney Spears (and now her sister), I used to think, geez, what attention whores. But I’m not sure anymore. Maybe they are just plain stupid.
>Amen…I’ve been saying this since I first heard. I was 17 when I got pregnant. I’ve been married 24 years now, we have 4 children, and we’re very happy. It doesn’t have to be the end of the world. I do give her great credit for not aborting. Hopefully she’ll be up for the challenge of raising her child. Can you imagine how a young, scared teen would be feeling about her choices if she found out she were pregnant in the midst of all the media about Jamie Lynn? A girl who gets pregnant young and has the baby is a piece of trash, but if she aborts, no one treats her any differently at all. Dumb logic. Thanks for putting a voice to this point of view.
>I have to say that I heard about this and was just annoyed. I was sorry that this girl was on a TV show my young and impressionable daughters liked. I was frustrated about the need to have a conversation with my girls about responsibility, a conversation that I do not really think they understood (they are 7 and 8). They are not aware of the abortion issue. I do have to say that your post cast the situation in a manner I had not considered. You take an interesting position, and I can’t say that I disagree. I hope that she can be a responsible and loving parent. I hope she has a healthy child that grows up with love and becomes a productive, well adjusted adult. Maybe that is the only comment we should all make about any child, regardless of the circumstances surrounding their birth. My deep thought for the day, and my cold medicine taking the edge off . . . .Barbara
>you know, I pretty much agree with you too. Yes, she’s being a not-so-hot role model right now because she is young and apparently having sex. But, she has a wonderful little baby inside her that was created by God…and that’s no mistake!
>I got pregnant at 18. I’m now 28 and he’s 9.Getting pregnant that young wasn’t the brightest move ever, but I stuck with it and raised my little guy…for several years I was a single mother. It was hard.His father and I are now married (and have been for almost 5 years) and we have two daughters, too.I don’t regret my decisions. Ever.I think she is doing the right thing. I hope she’ll be a good parent and maybe teach her older sister a thing or two.
>Well…I’ll try to remember your five years out guess about Jamie Lynn, and see how well you guessed it.I can’t speak to her thought processes or motivation for her decision; time will tell what she does and how she goes about it.Money’s no guarantee of doing the right thing; see Britney for proof of that.But not every teen celeb is as vacuous and groundless as Britney, either.Jamie Lynn may prove an astute observer and learn from what she sees. If so, good for her and her child.
>”accidents” happen. my daughters birth mother was on birth control when she got pregnant, she was put on an anti depressant that negated the the bc. she considered abortion but couldn’t bring herself to do it. she knew she was not ready to be a parent so she chose adoption (thank God!) i was with her from the time she went into labor until we took our daughter home. the majority of the hospital staff treated her like dirt. just another “knocked up” teen. they didn’t take into consideration the selflessness that defines her. instead of abortion she gave a loving couple a child, wanted more than anything in the world. she gave us what modern medicine and mother nature couldn’t. she completed our lives.i hope that we can all sit back and instead of passing judgement send up a little prayer for guidance, compassion and remember that every child no matter how they come to be are a gift from God.
>There is a human being on the way, and that, no matter the circumstances, is something to celebrate.My roommate freshman year in college got pregnant unexpectantly and gave her daughter up for adoption. The little girl is now in a happy, loving home with parents who desperately wanted her. My roommate does not regret her decision, but is instead proud that she was able to be so truly selfless and happy she chose to provide for her daughter in the best way she possibly could.
>As a librarian in an inner-city middle school, I see many of my students have babies before they graduate from high school. Unlike Jamie Spears, they don’t have the family support or the means to provide for the child. The chain of single motherhood continues, as these children frequently beget their own children in their teens. So while I’m happy that she can provide for her child, I tend to agree with Megan a bit, about the whole glorifying stupid sex thing. Of course, condoms do break, and I’m willing to give her a shadow of a doubt. In the inner city, teens have babies to increase their status and to have someone to love them.
>they were stupid didn’t they ever hear of aids or any other std? that is the only bad judgement call i can see there.
>Well, while I have to credit her for facing her responsibilities, I do question how any of us might personally define what a “support system” looks like, you know? I’m not sure that having parents who sell their children out, a childhood compromised by the realities of fame, and a sister who is publicly suffering from a mental illness and/or drug addiction really demonstrates any kind of support system. To say that she can financially care for a child is one thing….but money doesn’t create a support system…that’s a much more complex thing, IMO.
>She may have financial means and a support system but I question whether she is emotionally mature enough to handle the tremendous responsibility that awaits her. I’m inclined to think not since she wasn’t mature enough to make the decision to have protected sex.I’m curious to see how she will try and balance a newborn and her career. Now that she’s made this decision I only hope that she honors her commitment to her child and doesn’t allow her career to stand in the way of raising her child.
>I don’t think that having a baby glorifies stupid sex at all. If anything, I think it discourages it. Who would think having a baby at 16 is cool after seeing all the negative public discussion and coverage that Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy has generated?On the other hand, I think TV, movies and music TOTALLY glorify stupid sex, and not many parents are doing anything about that…
>Ideally teens are discouraged from “stupid sex” after seeing the negative discussion around Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy but realistically, I’m sure there are some that still won’t get it. We’ve all seen those teenaged girls that want to have a baby by any means necessary because they want “someone to love and to love them back”. My aunt in her 10+ years as a Public Health Educator, regularly relays stories to me of such horrors I have 15 & 13 year old stepdaughters and while they are two very bright young ladies and have been taught well and have general common sense sometimes they lack the maturity to make the best judgement . I’m just suggesting that Jamie Lynn lacks maturity to handle a child as was evidenced in her decision to have unsafe sex. (and yes I’m assuming it was unsafe sex and not an accident. I suppose we’ll never know the ‘truth’ there)
>Delurking after reading your blog for months to say I agree with you completely. Great post!
>I think you make a very good point.As much as I’m skeptical about her ability to be a good parent, (I doubt she’s had many positive examples in that area judging by what the media shows) I’m glad she’s not choosing an abortion.I’ve always hoped that Britney would find a mentor who could help her grow up and learn how to parent. I hope the same for Jamie Lynn.
>Wow, clearly I’m tired.Not sure how coherent my last comment was. I was attempting to say that my teens while bright young ladies sometimes lack the maturity to exercise sound judgement.I would hope that when it came to something as serious as having sex they’d do the right thing…but unfortunately there are no guarantees.Anyhoo, very interesting perspective. I think you’ve looked at this in a light that many of us had not previously. It’s an unfortunate situation and I truly hope she makes the best of it.
>I disagree — just because she’s made the choice to have the baby does not mean she is “taking responsibility” for the situation or “stepping up.” Let’s see what happens in the next few years before we draw that conclusion — and, if her sister’s situation and her own upbringing are any guide, I worry that that child will not have the benefit of particularly responsible parenting.Also, it bugs me to no end that the media and anti-choice groups have very successfully peddled this idea that abortion is necessarily a hugely emotionally damaging event. Although this can and does happen, it hardly describes the experience of all (or even most) women, many of whom just feel a sense of relief after their abortions. Also, it only further stigmatizes and marginalizes a procedure that nearly HALF of American women will undergo. We as a society need to acknowledge that, short of eliminating all unwanted pregnancies and birth defects, abortion will be a part of many women’s lives, and stop making women feel so damn bad about it. OK. Off my soapbox. Thanks for opening up your blog for discussion on a very heated issue, and thanks to the other commenters for their thoughtful participation. I almost never comment on abortion issues on the internet because the topic usually disintegrates into nasty namecalling, but I decided to make an exception because level heads on both sides seem to be prevailing here.
>I agree 100% that if society wants more pregnancies to be carried to term, we need to be less judgemental about it when it doesn’t meet our hopes or expectations. You (meaning whoever) have a right to feel how you choose, but most times people speak out in harsh ways that certainly influence people that are facing unplanning pregnancies.
>I enjoyed this post. One thing I did want to say regarding the comments on stupid sex, etc. Most kids are not taught how to have safe sex, they are taught not to have sex. Well let’s get real, many teens have sex, they should be taught more then abstinence. I also think it is funny that the adults promoting abstinence are the same ones that are promoting no abortions.
>I guess I’ll be the only one to admit it publicly, but I had an abortion at 19. It was my choice and it was right for me. Ten years later I had my two boys and then gained 2 step-kids, one of which has just blessed us with our first granddaughter through her own unplanned pregnancy. We all make the choices we feel are right for ourselves at the time. It is much harder to try and step into someone else’s shoes and imagine what they are going though than to pass judgment. In the end no matter how much we preach, tell and teach young girls, they are going to do what they want. I was that way, my daughter was that way and I am sure my granddaughter will be the same way too. I am still gonna keep on though. For the sake of her baby, I hope that she puts her child first above all else in her life for the next 18 years…at least the next 18. I feel sorry for that family and their situations.
>My first thoughts were the same as yours-what a crazy family!! In my opinion, although not “all grown up” at 16-you have a brain and you know right from wrong and if you are going to have sex-you know how to protect yourself. She is closer to scandal and drama and the public eye then most so she really should have made smarter decisions. She chose to be a role model and she should have taken that more seriously.It’s great she is choosing to take on the “responsibility” of keeping the baby, but she shouldn’t have been that irresponsible to begin with. I admit that I fear life 8 or so years from now with a 16yo son and a 12 yo daughter….the pressures on kids these days-to do it all, try it all and be all…that kids can think for one minute it’s ok to go out and screw around and get pregnant because so many before them have done it…..I can’t even talk about it because it riles me up!! All we can do is the best we can I guess….sadly there are parents that don’t give nearly their best and those kids are side by side with ours….I can only hope that I’ve given my kids the strength to lead instead of follow…..and given them the power to share their best with their peers. I’m crossing my fingers :)p.s. the evil eye is key around here too-it’s called “the look” and if Mommy is giving it-watch out!! LOL
>I agree that she made the best decision she could during a difficult time. My biggest question is “Why on earth wasn’t she using birth control?” I think our puritanical message often backfires; we make kids feel so guilty about having sex that they refuse to plan for it. I wholeheartedly believe that teenage pregnancy is the unintended consequence of abstinence-only education.I loved the movie, Juno, which tackles this issue, but I had to tell my daughter when we left the theater, “There is no way that giving up your child for adoption is as easy as that made it look. In real life, she would have a whole in her heart forever, even though she did the right thing.”
>I had sex at sixteen. How convenient for me that I forgot that while reading about Jamie’s behavior. I also conveniently forgot about my “near misses” with pregnancy… the half-dozen or so times my period was late. Thank you, Lindsay, for reminding us that the pots should not call the kettle black. ~Amalia~
>A couple of things…I don’t think that the outrage is because she isn’t having an abortion. It’s because she’s a kid lots of younger kids look up to, and you expect her to realize that and to be smarter than to get pregnant in the first place. (Yes, accidents happen, no birth control is 100%, blah, blah, blah. It still sets a bad example and leaves those of us whose kids watch her show in a tough spot.) AND worse than a kid making a mistake, Nick has no intention of taking a stand by pulling the show.As for her having the support system and financial wherewithall to take care of a kid, um, have you seen her sister? Not that JLS is doomed to repeat her sister’s mistakes, but if there was ever a good example of money isn’t everything it’s in her own family.
>Jenn-I agree with you that providing a child a life through adoption is no easy matter. However, at 18, I sat with my best friend from the time she took the pregnancy test, through selecting a family, to right after she had the baby. Was it terribly difficult? Yes. Were there a lot of tears? Yes. However, now we are both 30. She is an accomplished professional. Is there a hole in her heart? I’m sure! However, there is also a lot of satisfaction in her heart that she completed a family and that that her birth child is healthy, happy, loved and most importantly alive.After seeing this experience up close, I completely and wholeheartedly support adoption. Nothing is easy about being pregnant so young, but adoption can be so very very positive.
>For those who are all, “Why doesn’t she just place the baby for adoption,” I encourage you to research adoption. Even in this day in age, mothers who choose to place their children are stigmatized in a way that even single, young mothers aren’t subject to. They are automatically placed in the druggie/whore/dysfunctional parent corner and never, ever allowed to leave. Even when they mature, marry and go on to have children of their own, people still have the opinion that since they placed one child, they should never be allowed to parent another child. They are told that they never loved the child that they relinquished when, quite often, the very opposite is true. They are made to feel guilty for not parenting, for getting pregnant, for trying to do what they thought was right, for placing. They’re damned if they do, damned if they don’t. I know this because I am a mother who has placed a child. It is not the “easy answer” to any unplanned pregnancy. I live a life of grief, loss and regret because I wasn’t who I needed to be for my daughter at the appropriate time. I got screwed by an unethical agency and I live with the fact that I wasn’t intelligent or strong-willed enough to see through them or stand up to them. No, Jamie shouldn’t be placing this child. She has familial support and finances to boot. Do I think she’ll be the best mom on the planet as she is rather young? No. Do I think that advanced age makes you a better parent? No. We’re all struggling to do what is best for our children. Day in, day out. We can judge, point fingers and tell others what to do until we’re blue in the face. It won’t solve anything. My thoughts and prayers are with Jamie and her family as they face this life-altering experience. May this child feel loved, cared for and never, ever be made to feel as though he/she was a mistake. Because adoption doesn’t solve that one either.
>This information may not be 100% accurate, but I think I heard on Fox News Channel this morning that Jamie Lynn was placing the child for adoption?
>OK…Just an update on my earlier comment. I did hear she was giving the baby up, but now I see she is giving the baby up to her Mother.
>As far as Jamie Lynn being a role model, I’m always under the impression that teen stars are the most likely to dabble in sex and drugs. It’s just the lifestyle they lead. I’m more skeptical, actually, that Miley Cyrus is as pure in real life as she’s portrayed to be, although I certainly HOPE that’s the case!Jamie Lynn’s “people” are denying that she’s giving the baby to her mother, but I would certainly expect her mother to take a huge role in raising the baby, simply because Jamie Lynn herself is so young. Who knows? Perhaps it will be an opportunity for Lynne Spears to right some wrongs.And I don’t doubt that adoption is incredibly difficult in so many ways. I just think that for those teenagers who have the option to have a baby safely and with some support, adoption is a better option than abortion. That’s my own personal opinion and you have every right to disagree with me, of course.
>I think she’s doing the right thing. Morals are so loose in our society today- of course she is having sex, like every other teenager out there. Like you said, I’m glad she’s stepping up to the plate. Let’s hope her child has a smoother life than Britney’s. http://www.clovercrusade.blogspot.com
>Thanks Lindsay, for saying so eloquently, what I’ve been thinking all along. I’ll be 26 next month, and can’t fathom having a child even now. Not all teen (probably very few) are really ready for what lies ahead, but if they’ve got the guts to step up & take care of their responsibilities, more power to them. We should support and guide these young parents; and by no means should we look down upon them from our higher moral pedestal.
>I had an abortion at age 17 and it was the best thing that could possibly have happened to me. I had an alcoholic and abusive boyfriend, (we WERE using protection, however)and his response to the pregnancy was to pressure me fiercely to forgo college and marry him immediately (“Or else you’ll NEVER be happy!”) My parents were clueless and emotionally distant from me, as they had been for years. Telling them was not an option. Thank God I had enough money saved up that I could obtain an abortion on my own, and thank the US Supreme Court that they were legal at that time.I have no doubt that had I given in to the boyfriend’s request that I marry him and have the baby, that I would have had several extremely unhappy years enduring beatings and abuse, would not have gotten an excellent multi-degree education, a wonderful job, a wonderful husband, and yes, wonderful children. And as far as adoption goes, I really don’t think 1983 Nashville was the place to expect to have a child of color get adopted very quickly. Prospective parents might have seen my blond hair and blue eyes and thought they were getting white kid, but boy, they would have gotten a surprise in a few months. Abortion for me was absolutely the right choice, and it needs to continue to remain an option for all women, whatever their circumstances.
>firemom-sadly there are people who are ignorant enough to act that way. 99.9% they have never been on either side of this particular issue. as the adoptive mother i have taken heat too. i have been told “you’ve taken someone elses problem”, and my all time favorite “unless you’ve given birth you’re not a real mom”. um ok. but i know that what has been said to me is nothing like what has been said to you. i have a very close relationship with our birth mother and she has told me many things that have been said to her and much of it was not pretty. i hurts to hear what she goes through. she always says that she knows she made the right choice and has learned to smile and walk away.the older i’ve gotten i just realize that alot of people just suck. my heart hurts for you. as a woman that wanted nothing more than a child and not being able to conceive/birth one our birth mother is on an all mighty pedastal in our home. and no is allowed to berate her in our presence.there are a lot of shitty agencies out there, there a lot of good ones too. adoption is not for everyone, but for some it is the way.
>My daughter is eleven. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that soon her classmates (hopefully NOT her) will be sexually active.I just feel bad for Ms. Spears. I hope that whatever choice she makes, she can make the best of it.
>Really?Ok, I am pro-choice and you will all hate me, but I am a realist!1- Was Britney’s decision to have those poor kids a good one? Is she a good mom? didn’t she ruin her own life as well as the kids’? What kind of a life is she offering those kids?2- Jamie Lynn is only a kid, a spoiled one who will most likely become a horrible mother and ruin the life of that child as well as her own and if she is anything like Brtiney, go to mental institution after the child is born.3-In 5 years time, she will regret that she never pursued her own career, will raise another crazy child, and what support network? Her mother who raised two damaged girls like Brtiney and Jamie Lynn?Come’on, People! People who are not ready to have kids make lousy mothers and ruin everyone’s life. Children are not like cell-phones, a toy at a teenager’s disposal.
>I heard today that her mom will be adopting the baby once it is born and she will return to LA to pursue her acting career. Not sure if it will really happen but that is what some sites are reporting.
>Don’t you all think that it will be HIRED HELP that raises this kid? Not Jamie Lynn OR her mom. Just my opinion! Only time will tell! I’m interested in hearing what extent the father’s family plans to be involved.
>OK, I just read Jamie is giving the baby to her mom, quote:”Lynne says Jamie doesn’t understand the lifelong consequences of having a baby. She wants Jamie Lynn to continue her show business career after the baby is born and Jamie Lynn also realises she wants to enjoy her teenage years without the responsibilities of caring for a baby.”So Lynne gets her meal-ticket and Jamie gets to have her cake and eat it, too.In HER particular case, I can’t say if she’s doing the right thing or not, it’s all too damn warped!When I got pregnant at 17 I had a TOUGH DECISION. I didn’t have money and I sure as Hell couldn’t pass my baby off onto my mother until I was ready!
>I hope so.
>i see a lot of commenters saying what amounts to basically that Jamie Lynn’s baby might not have a perfect life so she should have an abortion. since when is there a requirement of being perfect to become a mother? there are plenty of people in this world who grew up in crappy situations but are very happy to have been given life. even if Jamie is immature and isn’t a great mom, doesn’t her child at least deserve the chance to get past it? I completely disagree with city gal’s comments about britney ruining her children’s lives. If you want to hear about some parents who actually did ruin their child’s life you should read about Nixmary Brown, a NYC girl would who was beaten, tortured and eventually killed by her parents. britney’s kids have an unfortunate, but manageable situation.and on another note, as a Catholic, I was not raised believing sex is wrong. I was actually raised to believe that life and souls are created at conception, and abortion is basically the killing of a person…even if the embryo doesn’t look like a baby yet. So to the woman who believes that most woman have abortions then just get over it, I believe that although some may feel that way most woman take abortions very, very seriously.
>I’m offended that you equated her having the child with “stepping up and doing the right thing.” Yes, other 16 year olds ARE having sex. But they’re not living with their boyfriends. I highly doubt that JLS has the know-how to raise a child. She’s the baby of her family, and it’s widely known her parent’s marriage was not healthy, and she and her sister are in show business. I don’t think she’s had time to figure out who she is as her own person, without being under the influence of her mother, which I think people should, before having children.
>I agree on what you are saying about the media and society. I applaud young women (especially those in such a spotlight) for taking responsibility of their actions.I am pro-life, not as a religious fanatic, but because I believe life begins at conception. I know there are others who do not agree – and I totally respect that.But I am glad you made the point of the emotional toll abortion can take on a woman. It’s very real and although it may not cause issues right away, almost all women feel some type of regret later on. I’m a big fan of adoption, but that is also a hard choice – one that I am not sure I could make it faced with the decision.
>…..I’m kind of surprised that all the guys haven’t come out of the woodwork on this one. Maybe it’s all the anonymous commenters.Full disclosure – I am a man.I had my first child 3 weeks before my 18th birthday. Mom was almost 19. It was “planned”, if by that you mean we both willingly skipped the birth control the night she was conceived. I can tell you the night, because we were that careful otherwise.It was a foolish decision. But I don’t regret it. Even through the ensuing 6 years of constant immature fighting, infidelity, divorce, and an assortment of other problems, I wouldn’t trade my daughter for the world, and if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.IMO teen pregnancy is not a “stupid sex” thing the way I’ve seen it defined here. Children think that their showing their partner how much they love them, are trying to find something they are missing, such as attention and dependency, or to escape the situation they’re currently in.For me, and for her, it was escape. We both lived in very bad family situations, and latched onto each other in a desperate attempt to change that. Then we grew up, apart, and away from each other.All this being said, I am not going to step up and judge JLS for whatever decision she makes. It’s her life. She got herself into the situation, and now she has to decide what to do next. It’s unfortunate that she is under such a microscope, because she can never be “right” for everyone.
>I think you give her and her family way too much credit. First, if the rumors prove true she was having sex with a man more than double her age or living with her boyfriend. Second, where the hell was her mother? If she has such a support system, then why was it not in place before this happen. The way I see it her mother is out for one thing, to whore out her daughters to the highest bidder and they and her grandchildren are paying the price. Why are we so judgemental? Because without judgement how do you know wrong decisions from the right ones? And don’t lump all of us in. I didn’t have sex as a teenager, but that doesn’t mean I was smart about it when I did. This is why teenagers don’t make the best parents. They simply do not have the life experience and ability to make the best decisions. Hell, some adults don’t have it.
>I heard her mom is going to raise the baby. Please, Lord, don’t let it be a girl.
>”Children are not like cell-phones, a toy at a teenager’s disposal.”Yeah, that. It seems like the Spears girls regard having a baby like getting a new puppy.
>The most complicated issue is Jaime Lynn’s stardom and what her “teen idol” status could lead to in terms of, gulp, inspiring teen pregnancy amongst young women who do not have the same means and support system as Jaime Lynn. Sadly, we live in celeb obsessed culture, where even too many adults I believe are inspired by the actions of celebrities. Overall you are correct, it is her choice to make and she is in a very different position than our typical assumptions of a teen mother.As usual, very thoughtful piece.
>Ack, you go and suck me in again!I agree with Melissa above – “stepping up” to push a kid out the vajayjay is nothing. Stepping up to be a devoted, dedicated, committed parent for an entire lifetime means everything. The jury’s still way, way out on her.Sadly, I’m not optimistic.
>I agree with you on the Pro-choice matter and that she is doing the right thing. I have to agree with Sue from SC too on the fact that I truly wonder about her support system. I wish the media would back off on her and her whole family. They clear need to get their stuff together quietly and alone.
>I had an abortion and I have regretted it every minute of every day since. I am most definitely pro-choice – it is not for others to decide what a woman can and can’t do with her body. But for me, it was the wrong decision. And unfortunately, it’s a decision that can never be undone. I have a beautiful boy now, he is my light, but I mourn the child that never was. Good topic, Lindsey (as always!)
>Hopefully she’ll handle things much better than her big sister! I’m piping in late to the conversation, but at least their mom and dad are now taking a proactive stance and helping intervene in Britney’s case.I predict Jamie’s scenario may turn out better than her sister’s situation. But then again I would have never predicted that Britney go in a downward tailspin.No matter what, I just hope their kids turn out OK.
>To get an abortion is just as much to take responsibility for your actions. If you aint ready to become a mother, abortion is the right decision. Not only for you, but for the baby. Jamie Lynn chose the hard way.