>Rapscallion!
>Keeping my ten-month-old son occupied is about as easy as keeping Pamela Anderson celibate.
If you saw my house, you wouldn’t think this would be much of a problem; the boy has more stacking cups, board books, plastic rings, balls and rattles than Paris Hilton has brain cells. The truth is, though, that his toys do nothing except collect dust. Bruiser’s rule of thumb seems to be that if it looks like it was made for the one-and-under set, it must be scorned.
He prefers to play instead with items that generally are banned from the baby population, from glass-topped tables to electronics equipment to wall sockets. Of course at first, I resisted his attempts to teethe on the telephone receiver or the soles of Hubs’s sneakers. Because, hello! Dangerous! And gross! But I have to tell you, a woman can only take so much. I’m not very fond of the prolonged loud, ugly crying that follows my 1817th attempt to trade in a chewed and spit-covered telephone book for a plastic baby-safe panda bear. I’m totally over the ear-splitting screams that have occured all elventy-hundred times that I’ve wrestled the television remote from his grubby little hands. In order to retain my sanity, I’ve had to relax my standards a little bit… well, okay, a lot… and redefine what ‘toy’ means to me.
That’s why yesterday, you would have found Bruiser knee-deep in the Sunday paper. For a good thirty minutes, he crumpled and tore and gummed and thrashed his way through hundreds of pages of newsprint to his heart’s content. Once he was done with that, I let have him the run of the kitchen tupperware cabinet. Afterward, I plied him with water bottles, empty sippy cups, plastic packing envelopes, chunky bracelets, lotion samples, anything that would keep him busy for another please-god-ten minutes.
The way I see it, I’m not being a pushover. I’m merely protecting my mental health, not to mention my wallet. If I can keep Bruiser happy by letting him teethe on a tube of toothpaste, he’s less likely to short out the power cord to my Macbook (that was last week’s escapade) and cost me another hundred bones.
I laugh sometimes, imagining the horror I would have felt had you shown me a thirty-second video clip of Bruiser playing with his “toys” back when Punky was a baby. “Who knows where that old flip flop has been?!” I would have cried. “It must be simply laden with germs! That is disgusting! Who is his mother?!”
Nice computer. For me to poop on!
I iz eatinz. Leave I alonze.
Yeah, I swallowed your wedding ring. What you going to do about it?
>So you mean that my house is not the only one that looks like Toys R Us exploded in it, but neither of my children dare play with any of those toys? Right. Their favorite toy at 10 months was a red platic cup. Go figure. I hope the germ mongering is actually safe because my daughter’s favorite spot to lay and discuss the day’s events is my dirty kitchen floor. Smiles!
>It’s totally fighting a losing battle, isn’t it?All 3 of my boyz’ favorites was the infant Tylenol bottle with that rubber dropper. BEST “TOY” EVER!
>It is good to know that my kid is not the only one like that. Empty water bottles, the TV remote, the cordless phone, coasters – way more entertaining than real toys. why waste the money? Shoeboxes are great fun!
>He is adorable!Some of the favorite toys here include wooden spoons…and dog bones. It isn’t like they are playing with knives…usually…
>Picking your battle is important after having your second child. My favorite quote goes something like “having one child is kin to having an exotic pet that you have hours of time to focus and obsess over. Having two turns your life into a complete zoo full of dirty monkeys”. I don’t know who said it (maybe I dreamed it).. but it’s very true. You have to just give up the fantasy that you have control over silly things like whether or noth your child likes pooping in the backyard because he thinks he a dog. I mean, if you clean them afterwards, what harm is done right? Or whether or not they think mommy’s makeup is a toy. You just sort of decide it’s easier to buy another $4 tube of lip gloss.
>I’m right there with you, and I only have one son. His current favorite is boxes of Kleenex to shred. We actually bought a couple of boxes of cheap-o tissues with the sole purpose of amusing the one year old.The newspaper and the Tylenol bottle (with dropper) are up there, though.
>Man, is he cute!!Yeah, toys are overrated. We were entertained by our almost 4-year-old for about half an hour the other day while he made his bread crust talk and run around. Gotta love it!
>I totally agree! Toys aren’t made for babies, they are made for adults to spend money on. My daughter loves the remote, the tylenol bottle, keys, shoes, etc. And the germs, they are good for them. If they do get sick, better now, then when they are in school. You aren’t being a pushover!
>*Runs to find Tylenol bottle*
>I think being a pushover parent has nothing to do with babies under say 18 months. Because truly, anything that gives you a moment of piece in that time frame is well worth it. The big cheeks and huge blue eyes just do me in. I’d probably give the boy anything just to see him smile.It’s funny though, he reminds me so much of my brother at that age. He looks just like him.
>Just be happy it’s not a bottle of bleach that he got to after breaking the childproof lock on the bathroom cupboard and shearing off the neck of the bottle by hitting it against the tub.What was I thinking, answering the phone?Good luck, you’re going to need it!
>Yeah. Alex and Bruiser both seem intent upon being a grown-up, eh?Alex adores the phones. Adores ’em.
>My little ones love cell/cordless phones and spatulas.So they can cook and talk on the phone.*sigh* How soon the multi-tasking begins.
>I want to vomit, your kid is so cute.
>I have no idea what you’re talking about *looks over to see one year old feeding himself applesauce off the floor*
>A little dirt never hurt anyone. I had a cousin who teethed on greasy nuts and bolts while sitting in a tire. She is 50+ and still alive and kicking!
>I used to read those articles about babies accidentally dialing 911 and wonder what the hell their moms were doing. Now, I sit around watching Bruiser dial numbers on the phone and hope to god it’s not 911…
>Your little boy is so cute!my daughter’s favorite “toys” are remote controls, my shoes, tupperwear, my cell phone, anything that isn’t supposed to be hers. I caught her with the little bottle of tylenol last week… She was sitting on the floor next to Hubby just chewing away on the dropper top. I was horrified. She is also getting obscessed with lotion and hair ties.
>I always kept the tupperware cabinet unlocked for their hours of amusement.My son’s favorite toy for a while was a big, shiny martini shaker!Whatever works.
>My daughters favorite toys are electronic. The remote (but only to the TV you are watching, if it doesn’t control that TV she doesn’t care about it), the cell phone (which we used to end up just giving her an old one until we realized that she can still call 911 on an unactive phone – she now has a disney princess phone that she lives with.) and the keyboard of any computer that you want to use. If it lights up or makes noise or causes Mommy to pull out her hair then it must be a good toy.
>Do you think its a boy thing? Lil’ Bum was a hard baby but we never needed to baby proof. Baby Bum on the other hand is a hellion. He is a happy go lucky baby but now that he is crawling, God help me. He is in to everything and is everywhere. He also would rather have something he knows he shouldn’t. He is fascinated with the outlet in my room, the heat/air filter, any piece of dirt he can find in the floor, and his sister’s shoes.
>BUT LOOK AT THAT FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO SMOOSHABLE!!!!
>One of my kids was like Bruiser – he looked like the Michelin tire man, or the Pillsbury doughboy. Mother’s milk must be wonderful stuff! He’s over 6 feet now and a normal size. There is hope.
>Whew! You’re really being kept hopping by that little cutie pie, aren’t you? 🙂 When my son was a baby, he loved TV remote controls, telephones and all that sort of stuff, so we gave him old remotes without batteries, old cell phones (with no charge), an old telephone receiver with the cord — stuff like that. He had toys, too, but he much preferred the “grownup” items. Now he’s seven, and still wants to collect old remotes, etc. and put them in his treasure box. I think it’s a boy thing!
>Oh, one of my son’s other favorite toys was a clean spit tray (mini-bedpan?) from the hospital. It was fun when we had a playdate at our house and the other moms saw that. Had to explain that it had never been used, and had been cleaned besides. ;^)
>Oh, and today marks another milestone for big old Bruiser: He now has figured out how to pull himself up to the kitchen trashcan and reach around inside for something new to play with. Wonderful. Could my life get any better? I think not.
>Ok, seriously? How can Bruiser be 10-months-old already? It seems like he should only be a couple of months old? Oh, how the time flies!
>That boy is absolutely juicy. Nice work, Lucinda.
>I would probably let the cutie eat my shoes too. We’ve been into plastic grocery bags lately. You know, the ones that will cause them to choke.
>He is SOOOO Cute!!! I just want to take a bite myself! I have a toy deployment plan I used with my first child and I’ve done it since day one with my second – I only leave out so many toys at a time and box up the rest… then I put them into “rotation” so everything old is new again. I have found when my kids have too many things out to play with, they don’t play with any of it, and for some reason butter knifes in light sockets become an interesting activity and ANYTHING not theirs is fair game
>He is so adorable! Those cheeks! Those eyes!My kids loved the Tylenol bottle, too. My second chewed on EVERYTHING. She still puts stuff in her mouth and she’s 4! We didn’t have much for toys with my oldest, so he played with lots of tupperware and old cordless phones (my kids all have old cell phones that they play with now). My 2 year old still has no interest in toys. He likes the sink, the tv remote, anything his sister is playing with, DVDs (to hold, not watch). The one thing he really will play with is a tub full of rice and measuring cups (Bruiser’s not old enough for this yet). And the sink. He’ll play in the sink for hours.Good luck. My toddler was climbing before he walked. And he did call 911.
>The other day my girlfriend told me that her husband came home from work to find their two hyper young boys scribbling on the underbelly of the kitchen table with permanent marker. When he turned to her and said, “Did you see what they were doing?!” She replied, “Yes! Why did you stop them? It kept them busy for THIRTY MINUTES!”A couple of years ago I would have been horrified, but now I know just what she (and you too) are going through!
>I have found a use for all of the toys designed/purchased for 1-year olds. My oldest, at 3, is obsessed with them simply because they belong to someone else. The baby can chew on a blanket or burp cloth for hours, so everyone’s happy!
>Bruiser is amazingly cute!Q has his own set of (defunct) remote controls for his entertainment. And he has his father’s old Motorola Razr too, because a toy phone just doesn’t cut it.
>Welcome to being the mother of a son.I have two now. I thought it possible that the first one was just…crazy? But no. This is what boys do.Beckett is obsessed with power cords and especially laptop cords.He’s also obsessed with remote controls and drives his big brother crazy by turning the TV off in the middle of Scooby-Doo. So, I have tried giving him an old remote, but he won’t fall for it. He knows.I keep hearing that boys are easier as teenagers. I pray that’s right. And all my friends with these easy-breezy baby girls will be suffering while I sit back and relax.Poor you, though! You’ve got it rough now and later, apparently. Yikes! You’ve already got teen girls. But yours actually sound like angels.Good luck surviving boyhood!
>Shoot! I meant to say “without the cord” in my comment. Obviously we didn’t give our kiddo a cord to play with. Gack!
>Damn, is he ever cute.
>Adorable, adorable, adorable pictures. 🙂
>My almost 11 month old is the same way. The family room looks like Santa’s workshop yet he is more interested in playing with the doors to the fireplace, the rug in front of the back door, and the floor vents that he has mastered pulling up and out. The other day I let him play with several 2 liter bottles, a spatula, and a pot and he spent 40 minutes just having a blast.
>Not every mother would admit to their baby chewing on sneakers and I commend your honesty. I too have a 10 month old boy and know exactly what you mean! Just cringe and look away… Be careful with cell phones though. I had to learn the hard way and buy a new one due to water damage from excessive drool!
>Our son was/is the same way. If it was created for children or has been deemed “safe” by us, he shows no interest in it.If it is expensive, dirty, dangerous, or breakable, he’s all over it. And I’ve totally caved. He plays with the telephone (and has called strangers), the remotes, my laptop, whatever. He eats off the floor. He pulls the kleenex out of the box. And I’m okay with it. It’s either that or one stream of interrupted tantrums all day long. As long as it’s safe, I’m okay with it. If I really care about it I hide it.
>Oh, and I should have mentioned – he is a doll! What a cutie…
>Good thing he’s cute!
>LOL! Very recognisable! My solution: convincing myself that germs are good for their immune system, and giving them old remote controls, dummy cell phones from the telephone shop (better than erasing all the phone numbers in mine), an old laptop to hack on. Basicly anything that’s ‘real’ (i.e. not a toy) and old (i.e. not working anymore or okay to break).Hang in there!Lonnekewww.zazou.eu
>my daughter’s favorite toy when she was Bruiser’s age? A plastic coffee scoop. Should have saved all the money I spent on educational toys (but hey, she makes a mean cup of coffee now). KIDDING……….
>The tupperware drawer and the pots and pans. Those were the favorites when mine were little. I learned to keep the cereal up higher so they couldn’t reach it and dump it out all over the floor. Yes, I learned that one from experience.
>What a sweet face! Can’t imagine that he would get into all that trouble.After being a clean freak with my older daughter, I now let my 1 year-old play with just about anything.When she sucks on my dirty shoes… ok gross. I swear I’ll take those shoes away just as soon as I check my email.