>Small Sacrifice

>A few months ago, I received an e-mail inviting me to an all-expenses-paid trip to a fabulous resort, where several other mommybloggers and I would be feted and pampered and asked for our opinions on how marketers could appeal to moms.

Suddenly, scraping poo out of my son’s mouth didn’t seem so bad. Playing Candyland for the 100,435th time was a joy. I did all of my parenting duties with a smile on my face because unlike the poor schmucks around me, I would soon be rewarded for being a mom, jetting off to a fabulous locale for some serious me-time.

And then my oldest stepdaughter won a coveted role in a play. A play that runs the same weekend as my Fabulous Getaway.

Obviously, I can’t go on the vacation. If I were to go, I would feel guilty. If I were to go, my stepdaughter would notice my absence and decide that fabulous vacations are more important to me than she is, and the subject would likely come up to haunt me later during some ridiculous argument over why I shouldn’t nag her about cleaning her room when she is obviously tired from playing Ultimate Frisbee the night before, OMG!

So while other mommies are sunning themselves beside an oversized pool, having their nails done and their shoulders rubbed and their opinions carefully solicited as thought they were nuggets of gold, I will attend a play performance in which my stepdaughter has a featured role as a pregnant wanna-be actress who is secretly sleeping with her boyfriend’s father. I will bring flowers from Kroger and I will dutifully wait for her to acknowledge me afterward, at which time I will give her a hug and the flowers, tell her she did a great job, and then step back into the crowd of well wishers who will surround her.

Later, she will not remember anything about what I said to her, or even what color the flowers were. She will not remember that I gave up a fabulous vacation in order to be there. She won’t thank me for staying in town in order to see her performance. And I don’t expect her to.

And it strikes me that this is just one small example of the sacrifice people talk about when it comes to being a parent. I’m giving up my own dreams in order to play an often minor role in the dreams of my kids. Sometimes, I feel good about the sacrifices I’ve made on their behalf. Other times, it really, really sucks. This is one of those times.

This post originally appeared on Parents.com.