>Suburban Turmoil 2010: The Year in Tweets
>It has occurred to me more than once that some of my favorite (and least favorite) moments of 2010 were recorded not on my blog, but on Twitter. Funny things my kids said, for example- or my thoughts on the flood as it happened. Inspirational videos. Hilarious pictures. Heartwarming moments. That’s why I’ve collected here for your (all right, all right, MY) reading pleasure… Suburban Turmoil 2010: The Year in (a few of my favorite) Tweets.
12/31: I’m not even telling you what I’ll be doing tonight at midnight. I will say it won’t involve Twitter.
1/4: I love that my 5-year-old still says “shaw-ses” instead of “sausage.” I don’t have the heart to correct her. I’ll let some bully do it.
1/5: The only fun part about going to the gym in January is knowing that some newb will fall off the treadmill while I’m there.
1/7: Just realized there’s a rip in the crotch of my pajama bottoms. Luckily, I’m at home. THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T WEAR PAJAMAS IN PUBLIC, PEOPLE.
1/13: It was hard not to giggle when I heard a mom call her baby son by the name “Moody” at the playground today. #stupidbabynames
1/13: Hey, has anyone seen that Fresh Beat Band episode where the entire band is submerged in a vat of boiling oil? #mommyfantasies
1/22: There’s no better way to blow a diet than with Godiva Truffles. Not that I would know anything about this, mind you, I’m just sayin’….
1/29: You know it’s time to potty train when your two-year-old changes his own diaper. Wait a minute. On second thought…
2/2: Wow. I really needed to read this. http://bit.ly/cUz6fn
2/3: A man here in Starbucks is proving that there is such a thing as Business Overalls.
2/8: I was so looking forward to eating the bologna sandwich I just made for my 2-yr-old and he had the nerve to actually EAT IT HIMSELF.
2/9: I feel like my life has become one eternal snow day.
2/9: Giggling over the fact that someone Googled “Lindsay Ferrier butt crack.” Let me save you some trouble- YOU WON’T FIND THAT ON TEH WEB.
2/11: 5-yr-old Punky’s schoolwork assignment today: “If I had $100 I would…” She wrote “Gv it to the pr pepl.” I got it. HEART. BURSTING.
2/11: I asked Punky about writing at school that she’d give $100 to the poor & she said “It’s because they need it more than I want a horse.” WOW!
2/15: 5-yr-old Punky’s card to her 2-yr-old brother: “I cat blev hw coot u or.” I can’t believe how cute you are. Dying from the preshus.
2/17: I predict that when and if I finally go insane, Spongebob will be at least partly to blame.
2/23: I have to wait 6-8 WEEKS for my PajamaJeans to arrive! What are they, handcrafted by a 90 yr old artisan in Antarctica or something?!
2/25: Lately, the problem with the e-mails I get is not that people won’t take no for an answer. It’s that they won’t take no answer for a no. (NOTE: I was referring to form PR e-mails here, NOT personal e-mails from readers!)
3/3: 5-yr-old PUNKY’S FRIEND: You like Dora? I don’t! That’s babyish! PUNKY: What do you have against babies? ME (IN MY HEAD): Awwwww, BOO YA!
3/4: A woman wants to guest post on my personal blog about Do-it-yourself dog fencing. Hmmm…. Thinking…. thinking…. thinking….
3/7: 5-YR-OLD PUNKY: Hannah Montana! She must be famous! She’s on the Ostrich! #oscars
3/12: When you have a sinus infection, nothing is funny. No. Thing.
3/12: Does anyone know the correct spelling of loogie? Or loogey? Or loogy? Inquiring minds want to know.
3/13: This is the last day I’ll ever have a two-year-old. Am feeling a little bit sad.
3/14: Happy 3rd Birthday, Bruiser! I love you so much I’ll let you go on thinking today is Christmas Part 2. But singing Rudolph at 6am was weird.
3/23: From Ann Voskamp: The best thing you can do for your spouse today. This is a must-read. http://bit.ly/atbvX7
3/24: There’s nothing quite like telling your just-turned-3-yr-old to finish his dinner and hearing him say, “This is not cool!”
3/27: Question from my 5-yr-old: “What would happen if you accidentally blowed up someone’s house & you had no money to pay for it?” HMMMMMM….
4/4: Punky is refusing to eat my special French Toast Casserole because “toast sounds like toes and that’s yucky.” Oh to be five again…
4/9: To the person who found my blog searching for “My foot is swollen and turning green.” Dude. Go to a hospital.
4/13: Just saw the TV and thought, “That’s my favorite Dora episode!” And then I realized I have hit rock bottom.
4/20: Open to e-mail I just got: “Perhaps the greatest fear we have as we face old age & dying is being a burdensome vegetable on life support.”
4/20: New tagline: Burdensome Vegetables, Unite!
4/29: Really, how many life coaches does Twitter need?
5/1: I need a waterproof romper today. I’m afraid my house is about to float off its foundation.
5/1: I am thinking of building an ark…
5/1: And now there’s a tornado warning. Could this day GET any better?
5/1: This is just a few minutes from my house, in case you were wondering. http://twitgoo.com/u51t4
5/1: Just watched this truck driver live on the news. He gets my award for @#$!)E)$ of the day. http://www.twitvid.com/SZBE5
5/1: Did I SERIOUSLY just watch a building float down the interstate and break into pieces on live television?
5/1: When this happens at Walmart, you know the flooding is BAD. http://twitpic.com/1k2w2s
5/1: Here’s video of the mobile home that floated down I-24 and broke into bits. http://yfrog.us/2gte7z Insane.
5/1: Hubs is at Antioch Pike, says it looks like a lake. Tons of people are in the Walgreens parking lot because they can’t get home.
5/1: @wsmv now saying we could get DOUBLE the rain we’ve had already by this time tomorrow.
5/1: Major flooding expected from the Harpeth in Kingston Springs. Moderate in Bellevue. I’m guessing Old Harding Road in Bellevue is closed?
5/1: The kids are playing Pirate. Punky just told Bruiser, “Be careful or you’ll walk the plates!”
5/1: Huzzah, Hubs doesn’t have to work tomorrow! Someone needs to row the boat and it ain’t gonna be me!
5/1: LaVergne is a disaster area. Wow.
5/1: And a tornado spotted outside Columbia. It’s going to be a long night.
5/1: Before she went to bed, Punky prayed, “…and God, please don’t let any more interstates break tomorrow.” Smart one.
5/1: Um wait. Is that tornado really headed toward Bellevue???!!! I wasn’t paying attention.
5/1: There is a creek running through my garage right now. Seriously.
5/2: Rain. Rain! GO AWAY!
5/2: Hey, @wsmv, I think now would be a good time to debut Rainbird.
5/2: Power is flickering here in Bellevue.
5/3: I am fine. Trapped in bellevue with about 7000 other people.
5/3: Power expected to be out here for a week. May lose water soon. Halp!
5/3: The good news… BLOCK PARTY ON MY STREET!
5/4: A girl I know just came up to me at Starbucks & said they lost all in the flood. Their renters’ insurance won’t cover it. This is horrible.
5/4: Just found out one of my six mom’s group members lost everything in the flood. Trying not to cry in public.
5/8: Gutting a house is very straightforward work. I think i may have found my true calling.
5/9: School resumed today- 7 staff members alone in my daughter’s small elementary school lost their homes in flood. Unbelievable. #wearenashville
5/11: You know how people sing to themselves in public sometimes & you know it’s because they think they’re awesome & want you to overhear? Yeah.
5/11: My 6-yr-old just prayed “God help the families know it’s ok they losted their houses as long as they have each other.” WOW. #wearenashville
5/13:This is why I love @gitzengirl. http://bit.ly/aAx6mL Read this and you’ll love her, too.
5/18: Amazing story- and one every parent really needs to see. http://bit.ly/c6MFqE This could save a life.
5/20: My 6-yr-old just said, “I used to like rain, but now I hate it. It brings too much water and takes people’s houses.”
5/25: Oh dear. It looks like Goldie the Goldfish II may soon be swimming in that great fishbowl in the sky.
5/30: My 3-yr-old just got mad at me and called me a Pee Pee Pants. OH SNAP.
5/31: RIP, Goldie 2.0.
6/9: Overheard from 6-yr-old Punky’s friend: It’s easy to have a baby. They just poke a hole in you and the baby comes right out!
6/14: First sentence of e-mail: “Not all moms spend their days doing laundry, cleaning, and cooking. Some are really hip!” OH REALLY?
6/22: CSPI to sue McDonalds if it keeps putting toys in Happy Meals. http://bit.ly/atoizR If CSPI wins, I’ll sue THEM for RUINING MY KIDS’ LIVES.
6/30: Oh dinner. How I hate making you.
7/19: My 3-year-old son just drew a picture of me and said, “This is my Mommy. She stylish.” LOVE THAT KID!!
8/3: In Manhattan with @cheekylotus and @joyunexpected at @isabelkallman ‘s place. CHEESEBURGHERS UNITE.
8/6: Having SO MUCH FUN AT #BLOGHER10. Just sayin’.
8/7: Whoever brings a corkscrew to room 515 first gets a prize!! #blogher10
8/7: Want to see what you’ll win for bringing us a corkscrew to room 515? http://yfrog.com/hq67haj #Blogher10 #bringusacorkscrew
8/7: http://yfrog.com/n636lxj This prize has many uses, like hypnotism! #blogher10 Just bring a corkscrew to room 515! #bringusacorkscrew
8/7: Thanks for the corkscrew @clumberkim!
8/8: Back in nashville for good. I have never been gladder to see pigmestomes
8/8: That would be RHINESTONES.
8/9: On TV, Diego just said, “Did you see the broken bridge?!” I swear I heard “Did you see the drunken b*tch?!” Hmmmmm.
8/10: I love my kids. Whenever one of them gets in trouble, the other one cries too.
8/11: Supercuts. The seventh circle of hell.
8/11: Supercuts. If they were any slower, they would… um… be slower.
8/11: My 6-yr-old noticed her cowlick while getting her hair cut today & told the stylist very critically, “It’s looking a little sprouty up top!”
8/16: “If Harry Potter were a food, it’s all I would eat for the rest of my life!” #straightfrommysixyearold
8/17: If only we could can the sounds three-year-olds make when they’re happy…
8/19: Dear Internet, QUIT DISTRACTING ME. Kisses, Lindsay
9/2: “I appreciate your candor” must be the non-southern version of “Bless your heart.”
9/4: I cut my son’s hair last night and now he looks like a character from Dumb and Dumber.
9/6: Overheard on trashy reality TV: “Did you hear that? That’s the sound of no one cares.” I am TOTALLY STEALING THIS.
9/6: This A&E show about OCD is better than Hoarders. For serious.
9/6: I wish my husband had OCD. Instead, he has the opposite. LAD. I’ll let you fill in the blanks.
9/6: WANTED: Free, part-time OCD housekeeper. I will let you clean my house! For free! IT’S A WIN-WIN!!!
9/7: Pants= optional. (@alphamom)http://yfrog.com/08glgj
9/7: Practicing walking in sky high heels in my room at the W for tomorrow’s fashion show. This is truly a surreal moment.
9/11: I may have had a little too much fun at the Pixies concert last night. Good gah.
9/11: My 6 and 3-year-olds are doing shred right now. By themselves. They begged.
9/13: My daughter called him The Nokey Nose. My son knows him as Punky-No. Pinocchio: The most unpronounceable Disney name of all time.
9/18: Let the kids stay up late last night so that I could sleep in this morning. So of course my 3 yr old woke at 6am, demanding mac & cheese.
9/18: My daughter’s watching “Annie” for the 1st time. Major flashbacks! I’m having a hard time not reciting every word along with the characters!
9/25: Making banana bread with the kids this morning and preparing to head to Harvest Days at the zoo! The cooler weather is inspiring!
10/30: Pumpkin carving brings out the OCD in me like nothing else. Two hours later, one pumpkin down, one to go. #holla
10/31: Time to get the kids in bed so that we can eat all their candy….
11/5: Devastated my 6-yr-old daughter this a.m. after explaining that “make-up picture day” didn’t mean she’d get to wear makeup for pictures.
11/5: My 6 yr old said the blessing tonight before dinner and ended with “God, seriously. You’re doing too much. Please.”
11/13: If I start a Facebook group calling for a worldwide ban on the term “awesomesauce,” will you join?
11/22: I just found two Hot Wheels tires and a tiny steering wheel in my 3-year-old son’s mouth. He is trying to drive me crazy. Get it?
11/23: Putting together Thanksgiving menu & cleaning up for more houseguests. Let my month-long Holiday Anxiety Attack BEGIN!
11/24: If this doesn’t get you in the holiday spirit, NOTHING WILL. http://bit.ly/fYrmz0
11/24: I saw a woman in a cape at the grocery yesterday and immediately realized it’s a trend anyone but superheroes should avoid. *sigh*
11/29: Ladies and gentlemen… The Elf is officially on the Shelf.
11/30: A watched UPS truck never comes.
11/30: Quick! Why does the Elf on the Shelf have no feet? I’m losing ground here!
11/30: I mean seriously. We pay enough for the elf on the shelf that you’d think they could have added feet to the nubby stubs of his legs…
12/3: 3-YR-OLD BRUISER: I don’t want to watch Barney because he make my tummy hurt. ME: Mine too, son.
12/4: Silver Bells by Twisted Sister. I wouldn’t recommend it.
12/7: I’m sad Max is moving & won’t be in our class anymore,” my 6-yr-old said after school today. She sighed sadly. “Oh well. Hard times pass.”
12/7: This video is AMAZING. http://bit.ly/e0Y6Za
12/12: No school tomorrow! YAAAAYY!!!! I think….
12/12: I guess it’s not a forecast, though, if it’s already snowing. It’s just a… cast?
12/12: If you’re planning on playing Hot Wheels on the Internet, I regret to inform you that the name Willie Blaze Niceman has already been taken.
12/13: Let this be a warning to you, #Nashville. Hubs will be wearing his ushanka on the news tonight. Efforts to prevent this were unsuccessful.
12/17: They say God will never give you more than you can handle. I’m pretty sure that’s why my 3-year-old just went down for an unexpected nap.
12/20: I love how my kids fart with absolutely no shame whatsoever…
12/25: On the menu tonight: Standing rib roast and yorkshire pudding. #whatwasithinking
12/26: My 3-year-old made it exactly 10 hours past Christmas before asking for something for NEXT Christmas.
12/31: You’ve helped make 2010 more interesting, Tweeps! Here’s to a fantastic 2011!
