>Suburban Turmoil: Year in Review

>It’s been a crazy, crazy year here at Suburban Turmoil. So much has happened that it’s hard to believe only one year has passed. So let’s take a look back at the carnage.

Back in January, I was struggling with Professor Owl, a stuffed animal I found dirt cheap at a garage sale- all because he’d been stuffed with Satanic powers! Damn that owl! You can guess who emerged the winner in this scrape. Mid-January, I was nominated for the Best of Blogs Mommyblogger award and found myself locked in a heated battle against some of the best mommybloggers out there. I realized that with my miniscule readership, I could never hope to compete against the rest of the finalists, but miraculously (with help from stories about my bra size and a night out that involved both duct tape and vomit [and, FYI, if you are one of my family members, you are hereby prohibited from clicking on any of these links]), I freakin’ won! This ended up being a big deal for me- Lots of new people showed up and started reading and better yet, my husband realized that perhaps the blog thing actually wasn’t just for cyberlesbians who were pretending to be mommies in an effort to try and recruit me. Warily, he finally offered his support to the project.

February was a relatively slow month. My stepdaughters were revealed to be alien decoys, I wrote a revenge e-mail forward, my writing was featured over at The Mother’s Movement Online and The Whole Mom, and I experienced schadenfreudish excitement over the ice skating portion of the Winter Olympics.

In March, MommaK and I debuted the Perfect Post Awards, I met the great Busy Mom in person for the first time, attempted to party with rock stars, got lockjaw, and skiied Purgatory. Good times.

Something about April convinced me to admit that my dog is a pervert. I also became a Dot Mom, engaged in a battle royale with the packaging of a Dora doll, attempted potty training for the first (and second and third) time, and made the most gut-wrenching mistake I’ve made yet as a mom. Oh yeah, and I also became a columnist over at Mamazine.

In May, I was featured on Mommybloggers, wrote about my infatuation, helped Susie Sunshine launch Mamarazzi, experienced Shitty Friend Syndrome, and convinced myself I was dying.

June was another big month. I became a newspaper columnist at the Nashville Scene and revealed my true identity on my blog. That was a truly terrifying moment. I also cured my Shitty Friend Syndrome, and got dissed by the First Wives’ Club.

Out of the blogging closet in July, I went to my first blogger party, sent a few public library patrons into an uproar, got fed up with the Mommy Wars, got knocked up, became a suburban Cinderella groupie, and spent a week in LA.

In August, I dealt with the trials and tribulations of the first trimester, got some folks worked up over the immigration debate, posted the first picture of my baby-to-be, and wrote the post that inspired me to later check out a baby beauty pageant for myself.

In September, I began wearing the now-infamous Trophy Wife t-shirt. I was horrified when I attended my first baby beauty pageant and the experience sparked a number of controversial posts. And after reading a bizarre book on obeying your husband and fascinating him with your feminity, I spent a week trying to follow its advice.

It wasn’t until October that I got up the guts to admit my Wiggles obsession and I’m secretly convinced that this post is what actually convinced Greg Wiggle to resign from the group. I went playgroup hopping, wrote a column about it, and invoked the wrath of the Green Hills MOMS Club, an incident that has become legendary around these parts. I shared a few of my guilty secrets and boy, you guys did too. And my parents found out about my blog.

In November, we learned that the fourth Ferrier child will be a boy. A boy! Hell froze over and my grandmother started reading my blog. My blog and I were written up in the Tennessean, complete with a totally embarrassing picture of me (Ya took ten pictures. Wasn’t there one where my eye wasn’t half-closed??). I signed up for the FlyLady’s e-mails and almost joined her Cult of Clean. I tried unschooling the girls for a day and was linked to a conspiracy involving me, Dr. Phil and the New York Times. I realized that all my friends have grown up. And I went ghost hunting and broke my foot.

December found me combing the city for the Best-Ever Santa. I discovered that the Devil has gone out of style and explored the world of attachment parenting. I was D-Listed by Bobbie Thomas (thank God it later turned out that a flack was to blame!) and was informed that my blog isn’t happy enough. And I learned the stunning news that Rockettes are people, too.

And that’s the Suburban Turmoil Year in Review. I can’t thank you guys enough for coming back here over and over again, for your comments, your e-mails and your perspective. This blog has literally changed my life, thanks in large part to all of you, and I can’t wait to see what 2007 holds.

Happy New Year!