>The Lesson I Wish She Didn’t Have to Learn

>Here’s the deal.

I have spent the last five years raising Punky to feel special. Unique. Treasured. And I don’t mean at all that I’m spoiling her rotten. Any time she has started acted bratty, I’ve made absolutely sure she understands that that kind of behavior won’t be tolerated.

I look at my daughter right now and see a girl with enormous self confidence. A girl who cares about others, particularly those who aren’t as fortunate as she is. A child who walks into a room and believes in her heart that if she is kind to everyone, they will love her back.

I sent her to school last week and she learned for the first time that that’s not necessarily the case. And of course, I realize that’s going to happen. But does it have to happen at five?

“Mommy,” Punky confided to me during lunch at school last week, “There was a little girl from another class with her hands on the wall, and her teacher said, ‘Get your hands off the wall! That is reddickalous!’ And she was so mean about it! And I didn’t think that was very nice, because she was just a little girl. She didn’t know.” Punky looked down sadly.

“Well, what did you do?” I asked.

“I had no choice, I could do nothing,” Punky said. “My teacher told me not to talk in the hall. But it made me very unhappy.”

That afternoon when she got home, she told me that another teacher had been harsh when telling Punky and another girl not to talk in the cafeteria. I know Punky was telling the story accurately because I have seen this woman for myself and “friendly” is not in her vocabulary.

“I don’t understand why some teachers are so mean about it,” Punky said. “We’re just kids. We didn’t know.”

And of course, I tried to explain to my daughter that she will always see teachers like these unfortunately, because well, we all did growing up, but WHAT THE HECK, TEACHERS? Really, why are you working in an elementary school if you hate it so much?

I’m frustrated that Punky is learning this lesson on her very first week of school. It’s hard enough being in a strange place without your mom or dad around, in Punky’s case, for the very first time.

Add to that the fact that one or two bad apple teachers there apparently think it’s a good idea to speak rudely to five-year-olds who are still learning the ropes of school?

It’s bullying of the worst kind, if you ask me.

I don’t mean to take away whatsoever from the vast majority of teachers at my daughter’s school, who are helpful and kind and loving toward the children. But this situation calls to mind the teachers we all remember from our own childhoods, the ones who use their positions of authority as an opportunity to be cruel and vindictive toward children, who can’t do anything about it.

And I hate that my five-year-old is getting an early taste of it.

This post originally appeared on Parents.com.