>The Unregistry, Part Deux
>A number of readers have been visiting my Baby Unregistry lately to peruse the list of gifts that I decided I didn’t want to receive back when I was pregnant with Bruiser. Well now, the kid’s a little older and I have a whole new unregistry list to hand out to grandparents, aunts, uncles and general well-wishers. Please. Resist the urge to buy the following products (except for the Harley diaper bag. It’s sort of cool):
Alternately, there’s the Babywunder Deluxe Clear Potty, giving you a head start in your lifelong battle to know exactly what your child is up to.
Don’t let that “Baby on Board” sign on the back of your Harley give people the wrong idea. Show them you can still pop a wheelie with the best of them by slinging this Harley Davidson diaper bag over your leather-fringe-jacketed shoulder.
And while we’re on the subject, can you even imagine the street cred you could gain by casually saying, “Baylee Rose, if you go poo poo in the potty, you get to wear your Harley panties!”
I got an e-mail asking me to review these Glovies not long ago. I passed. I’m totally down with the hand sanitizer action, but once you start putting disposable gloves on your kids, it’s time to seek help. I mean, can you imagine how popular a Glovied kid would be at the playground?
I can only hope this $800 crib stroller is still available on Craigslist. Because “it’s very safety.” You’ll be the talk of the town if you take this thing out on the streets, for realz!UPDATE: This amazing stroller been reduced to the bargain price of $750! Get it while it lasts!
I’m not exactly sure why this over-the-shoulder backbreaker is called The Flying Falcon.A better name for it would be The Albatross.
Does your baby have neck cheese? (Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.) Give him a few spritzes of Nenuco Baby Cologne and he’ll smell better than Jack Tripper on Singles’ Night at the Foxy Lady Lounge.
The Muppet Hands are back. Nuff said.
>At my baby shower, I received 5 feet tall stuffed rabbits, one boy, one girl! I thought it was the most bizarre thing ever! We have a very small house, and what are you supposed to do with 2 5-foot tall rabbits anyway? I felt bad because I’m sure they were expensive, but right to charity they went.
>LOL…I don’t have to worry about the getting end of that kind of stuff, long as I adhere to various and sundry bachelor credos, not the least of which is when attending a friend’s wedding, absent thyself when the garter is airborne…
>This is so funny!I received three boys outfits for my baby girl’s first birthday! Yeh thanks but she’s not so much into wearing trucks and basketballs on her onesies!
>With four kids, I can’t remember specific but BIG, and LOUD, are my pet peeves.I always give SMALL, and QUIET.
>Ok, I have to disagree with you on the Jack Potty. The name alone is priceless! If I would have known that little gem existed I so would have purchased it.Of course I probably would have used it/played with it/thrown water in it to see it do its thing…so really it would have been entertainment for me…rather then a learning tool for my kids.The worst gift, 4 ft tall Minnie and Mickey (I have boy girl twins). The thought was sweet but those suckers are too big and they weigh 11,000 lbs.
>My sister, who has boys only, gave my baby girl a doll. This doll had Japanimation eyes, witch to me look like the thing had been smokin’ dope or eating No-Doze all night. She had purple ribbon in her black hair and the creepiest grin on her face. My sister said, “Oh, I think she’s so cute!” To which I replied, “Get your eyes checked, the baby doll is high!”
>My brain is so tired that I can’t think of anything, but I’m sure there were lots of things. A big pet peeve of mine is a certain BIL’s wife that makes requests for “no noisy toys”, yet gives them as gifts. If I gave an Unregistry list to certain people, they might take it as a “what to give” list because reading is too hard! I think my demands (gentle suggestions on christmas lists) for non-toxic wooden toys not from China have finally caved them: we get money and are to buy the kids something ourselves.
>a smocked baby boy romper type thing that had pink and blue balloons on it. It had had crochted collar on it and was so hideously ugly I couldn’t look at it without breaking out in hives.Somehow when we moved a month later I “LOST” it. The aunt that gave it to us tried for months to find another just like it too bad she never did!
>I’m still recovering from the Harley panties. You know how I feel about smocked rompers for boys, though, right? I realize I’m in the minority here in the south, but yeesh!
>I recently found your blog and have grown to enjoy reading your very familiar tales. Always thrilled to hear about other suffering Moms! Sometimes comforts me and sometimes makes me feel better about myself. Depending what kind of mood I’m in. Glad I found you!Side note: I too have a large little boy born 3/07 and an equally large Beagle.
>I’d call the Albatross “The Back breaker.” Jeesh. I can’t believe she’s even standing upright!
>First, the stroller? Dude, I totally made that with my wagon as a kid to transport my dogs around. Secondly? The neck cheese? OK, the sick and wrong thing is, I miss that smell. The worst baby gift? I’m not sure that I can name one, it’s just that I honestly would rather them use the UPromise accounts then see one more pair of Dora anything.But is there a nice way to say that?
>Great post! My MIL sends my son hand knitted socks. Every dang year.
>OK, 1st-neck cheese? I’m sure I know what that is (i have 3 kids) but the name and definition escapes me…B-some of this crap is just plain scary and looks to be kind of dangerous…*-I actually liked the see through potty. You and Punky could have a serious ball examining and naming BMs…BAHAHAHAAAAA
>Neck cheese is what results when you have a fat baby who dribbles milk into the folds of his neck. The milk curdles, I guess, and it is STANKY.Thank you Billysmommy and welcome!
>*snort snort snort*The JACK POTTY?KILLS me!!
>My mother in law gave me a pack of birth control pills at my first baby shower. Top that.
>Mr. Midnight is possibly the funniest bad-toy-gift I’ve ever come across. How terrifying!My “worst toy” was given to my 6 year old this Christmas by his grandparents. A huge transformer head-helmet that transforms his voice into a robot voice. Loudest toy EVER. It also somehow makes everything the kids say while wearing it sound rude. Weird, hun?Here it is: http://www.sears.ca/gp/product/B000V4PEFQ?searsBrand=coreThe kids love it. My ears (oh, and the rest of me too) hate it.
>LMAO at “Albatross.” And you are so right about the glovies – that is crossing some sort of line into OCD territory. I must say I was pretty lucky in that most people stuck to my registry, knowing I would rather have practical stuff I needed, though I did get one rather strange frilly tenty thing I was told was a diaper holder. What?
>Some of those gifts are frankly disturbing! The see-through potty? Whoever thought of that, seriously?!
>That carseat carrier looks like the worst. Idea. Ever. Ouch.
>What do you mean? You didn’t like the “Mr. Midnight” doll I gave Bruiser? I thought he was so cute. And not scary at all. Okay- so we both know that I didn’t give him that doll, but I wanted to add some mama drama to your comments. They should have the Jack Potty in the bathrooms of Chuck E. Cheese- the place where kids REALLY get addicted to gambling.
>Hands down, the Bumper Bonnet. I sold it on Ebay…http://www.onestepahead.com/product/osa/148756.html
>I think the worst thing I ever got for my first was this thing called beebop, its this odd looking doll that you press its hand and it makes these odd noises and dances… It scared the crap out of my first and my second run screaming out of the room… This gift was from my mom, she thought it was cute…
>Thanks for the first laugh I’ve had today! Your original Unregistery is hilarious too!
>i am happy that no one has invented the catapottypult yet, my idea to get rid of unwanted mess
>I received an Easter Bunny with a wicked, evil, loud cackle, complete with shaking and glowing red cheeks. Scary. One time, during an electrical storm, he shorted out and started cackling from the baby’s closet and FREAKED ME OUT.
>Birth control pills, anon? I don’t think I can top that!reluctant housewife, loud toys suck, but when you have an even louder beagle, suddenly the toys don’t seem like that big of a deal…Actually, Pbj, you gave me one of the BEST presents ever. We still use the blanket your mom made several times a week!refinnej, I used to make fun of the bumper bonnet, but lately I’ve found myself sort of wanting one, I’m ashamed to say! My son crashes headfirst into everything. Don’t worry, people, I won’t cave and buy one! I still have some pride!furiousball, the catapottypult is a great idea! You could make millions off of that!
>Can’t put my name on this because clowns will eat me, but at my baby shower, I got an entire PINK BEDDING SET for my son. My son! WTH?
>The obviously re-gifted pink, girly 0-3 months outfit for my 6 month old son. HUH?! No tags, so I couldn’t take it back. I wrote a thank-you note anyway. Strangely enough, we got a fantastic set of trucks out of the blue around his first birthday from the same person. That made me wonder if we got another baby’s gift initially…
>OMG. I am ROFL over that crib/stroller/whatever the hell it is!
>I LOVE the see through potty – are you KIDDING me??? You spend years and years wiping up their poop, when potty training finally comes – to finally NOT have to see it is one of the bonuses!As far as gifts go – my mother-in-law insists are constantly buying us HUGE stuffed animals! When I was in the hospital after having my second, she brought a HUGE stuffed bear – this thing is like 3 feet tall. Seriously – what do you do with a bear like that? She had bought a Pooh Bear one for my first as well!
>Some people adore these, but… the Diaper Genie. We took him back to Wal-Mart. I don’t need a device which requires a new $5 “cartridge” every month or two. What a waste of money and plastic! I actually registered for this, so it was my own fault. It must have been pregnancy brain. We used a Diaper Champ instead (uses plain bags) but now we have a no-bag pail since we’ve switched to cloth. (We are loving it by the way!)
>I actually read about the Diaper Genie when I was pregnant with Punky and bought the Diaper Champ instead. Still using it today. Love it. I can’t imagine having to buy special cartridges for my diaper pail. I would be up shit creek. Literally.
>What’s wrong with Harley panties? I have 3 1/2 year old girls who like to wear BOYS Cars panties!
>It’s not a boy/girl thing. It’s a Harley Davidson frilly girl panties with motorcycles on them thing. The images of “Harley Davidson” and “little girls” are brilliantly incongruous. “Little girls” and “Cars?” Not so much.
>Those muppet arms are scary. My Kiddo got one of those stuff toys that sang songs/recited prayers. The voice was demented and it stirred the same feelings of the arms. They should’ve just used Linda Blair or Chuckie’s voice and sold it as a Halloween toy. The worse thing was the least movement in the room cause it to randomly come on.
>My mom sent my 2 year old son a red Christmas suit, rather, more like a nutcracker suit. It was 5 sizes too big AND it was made out of flocked plastic. I kid you not? It was the kind of cheap tacky stuff reserved for the most tacky decorations and boys and she sent it expecting me to subject my child to the torment of wearing the thing. My dad once brought a 4 foot high stuffed pink rabbit to my house. I lived in a 900 square foot apartment with 4 people. That was the size of the entire toy storage area approximately. I made him take it with him when he left.After that comes every thing that runs on batteries and makes loud irritating noises.
>bows, that should read bows, not boys.And I like the shape of the clear potty. I had a red potty shaped like that for my little girl and she started using it very young because she could do it herself. I’m not loving the clear plastic though.
>I don’t know I think diaper wipe warmers are pretty silly. What a useless piece of crap.I took mine back and bought diapers with the cash.