>Trading Up

I remember my single days fondly as The Era of the $180 Haircuts. Yes, every six weeks or so, I would spend $180 to get my hair trimmed and highlighted five different shades of blonde. And why not? I had worked hard to earn a comfortable living for myself, and while I was by no means rich, I could afford to splurge on my hair. And my car. And my clothes. And my apartment. I wasn’t able to save much money, but who cared? I was only 25. Savings, shmavings.

I guess I thought that when I married, I’d have double the funds. Boy, was I wrong. As our family has grown, I’ve been steadily trading down, from salon highlights to DIY coloring kits, from a new Ford Explorer to a used Buick I share with my 17-year-old, from department store makeup to drugstore makeup, from designer clothes to, well, cheaper designer clothes. I do have standards, after all.

I’m hardly the only mom out there trading down; it’s a common topic among the moms I know and it’s one of the dividing lines that often makes us feel like we have nothing in common with our single, childless friends. It’s almost a badge of honor to buy clothes at a local consignment sale or choose a store brand over a pricier version; we are mothers and we make sacrifices, dammit, because that is what mothers do.

But who among us ever dreamed back when we were single that we’d one day be cutting coupons, or that our most stylish outfit would be more than two years old? And who would have believed that most of the time, we wouldn’t even mind? Because you know those little vacuums that suck up all our money and eat all the food in the pantry and talk back and give us sloppy hugs and beg us to play with them play with them play with them? I would rather have them than a $180 haircut any day of the week.

This post originally appeared on Parents.com.