>Wee the Pee-ple
>While much of the nation mulled over their voting options as they waited to vote on Tuesday, I stood in line with only one thing on my mind.
Ohhh, I’ve gotta pee. Oh man. I wonder if this woman will hold my place in line while I go pee? Hmm. I doubt it. She keeps giving me dirty looks. Oh shit. I’ve got to pee so bad. This line looks at least two hours long. I wonder if I leave the stroller here and go pee, would that save my place? Surely they wouldn’t kick Baby out of line…
Lest you’ve forgotten, being five months pregnant isn’t easy on the bladder. Particularly when two little fetus feet are using it as a trampoline.
Unlike Baby, this Boy’s favorite position is feet-on-the-bladder and it is excruciating. I spend my days feeling quick bursts of I’VE GOTTA PEE! Wait, no, I’m okay. I’VE GOTTA PEE! Hm. I’m okay again. I’VE GOTTA PEE!
I imagine he’s getting quite a kick out of it, if you know what I mean. More than once, I’ve gone to the bathroom only to turn around and go again five minutes later. I told my mom about the phenomenon yesterday.
“You need to tell your doctor about that,” she said gravely.
“Mom,” I said, “I can feel him kicking my bladder and that’s when I need to go. It’s common. Some of my friends have had the same thing happen.”
“If you’re going to the bathroom twice in five minutes, there’s a problem,” she said darkly.
Yes, there’s a problem and he’s using my bladder as a punching bag! What could a doctor possibly do about that?
Back to voting. After 30 minutes of me shifting from one foot to the other, the line finally moved inside the building, where it was twice as long as it had been outside. I gasped at the sight, just as a poll volunteer approached me.
“Come sit over here,” she said and guided me to a chair at the front of the line. “We have one machine set aside for pregnant women and mothers with young children.”
Heh heh heh. I gloated back at all the sour glares that followed me to my special chair. VIP treatment, baby! Suddenly a swift kick to the bladder put me in check.
I sat down beside another woman with a barely discernible bump.
“How many weeks are you?” I asked her.
“Ten,” she replied proudly.
I snickered. “Urine for a real treat!”
>You are so funny! I am laughing out loud. Loved it. Thanks for that.
>Wah-ha-ha-ha! You’re such a commodian – flush me some more! ;)One of the other perks of being (obviously) pregnant: drivers at Wal-Mart will actually STOP to let you pass at the crosswalk! They usually try to run me down…
>I loved those prego mother parking spots at the grocery store.And whenever I complained to my mom about the most mundane of symptoms she insisted I call the doctor and swore she never had swollen ankles, bad acne, cravings, etc. I think she just had “one child too many” amnesia. 😉
>”Urine for a real treat!”lmao.
>Funny. For the majority of my third trimester, I would stop drinking water around 9 at night and still wake up at least once an hour needing to pee ALL NIGHT LONG.
>I got to cut in line while renewing my drivers license when I was pregnant. That was a relief!
>I wish they would have had something like that at my polling station! At 13 weeks the ‘I HAVE TO GO NOW!’ phase has certainly started– here’s to 27 more! I had to pee so badly that by the time I got to actually fill out my ballot I screwed it up and had to get a new one! The elderly ladies just smiled and gave me a new one. Since I’m not showing yet, I really just wanted to say ‘It’s because I’m pregnant and am unable to think clearly anymore.’ But I decided to just shut my mouth, cast my ballot and then high tail it to the nearest bathroom.
>Ohhhh! Grrrooooooaaaannnn!
>nice punchline!that is a great idea having a preggo line, we have are election on monday, i’ll have to see whether they are implementing that here as well.
>My friend Sarah is 7 months pregnant. You can barely tell. Only in the last two weeks has she started having to wear bigger sizes. Anyway, every time we go somewhere together, she has to stop at every bathroom we pass. If we’re driving somewhere, we’re at a filling station every 10 minutes. I think I know where all the bathrooms are between here and Cooter, Missouri. Good luck with that.
>I’m nearly 34 weeks, and he’s been breech for the last 5 weeks or so. So every time he stretches, moves, kicks, twitches he hits my bladder with his feet. I feel like I should just put a catheter in and be done with it given how much time I spend in the toilet.
>Honey, I think you owe it to yourself to play the pregnancy card every chance you get until your boy-chick is born. I remember when I was hugely pregnant and waiting in line at a very crowded restaurant — amazing how the bump managed to bump me right to the front of the line. Ask about special treatment everywhere possible. Preggo moms deserve all the breaks they can get! 🙂
>Ten weeks? Who has a bump and gets seats at ten weeks? But how lovely of them to be so considerate of you preggy voters. What a delight to hear that.
>I remember the fetus kicking the bladder thing oh so well — and my kids are 9 and 10 now! I carried LOW and they lived to make me wet myself. I ended up wearing pads all the time — I know, too much information, but tell me you have not been there! I’m proud of you for voting and proud of your polling place for having a clue about being preggers and having little kids! YAY for democracy!
>Gorgeous post! I had a very similar thing a couple of months ago — Baby #2 dances on my bladder and I swear he has hooked his little toes down there something good. He finally moved recently and is much more well-behaved. . . but I don’t think it will last for long!Glad a poll worker took mercy on you!
>Urine rare form these days! Loved the post. Loved the punch line 10x more!!!!
>Ohmigosh, they jump on your bladder too? I’m accumulating a list of all the yucky pregnancy issues and hadn’t heard of this one. Well, I’m glad you got to cut in line.
>that was funny!! (at least you didn’t have to puke ;o) (btw…. don’t be surprised if it doesn’t get one bit easier from here cause after the 2nd kid your bladder will NEVER, EVER, be the same….)
>Glad they had the foresight to set up a special polling booth! We signed up for permanent absentee ballots after Q was born. We usually don’t get around to filling them out until too late to mail them, but at least we can just drop them off at the polling place without standing in line.
>you are so clever! always entertaining.
>I had the same problem with when I was pregnant with Hannah.You are so entertaining!!!
>My dd took turns kicking my bladder and my sciatic nerve…I was either on my knees or in the bathroom.
>HA HA HA! I can’t say much, except laugh. Any mother can relate:)
>Ooohhhh, that was a painful pun.
>Well first you had me all freaked out reminding me about the constant need to pee while pregnant…(I wonder if I really want to do this again!)…and then you cheered me up remembering all the “perks!”We’re trying for #3..if you couldn’t figure that out!