>Up, Up and Away

For the past three years, Punky has grown up in the cocoon of our family. She spoke her first words, sat up, crawled, and walked when she wanted to, with nothing more than our steady encouragement to spur her on. In a house full of devoted parents and older sisters, Punky has grown up believing that everyone she encounters will think she’s the most delightful little girl that ever lived, and she acts accordingly.

So I’m having a bit of a hard time leading this confident, loving little girl out of the nest and into the harsh glare of public scrutiny. From having Punky tested for the gifted program to putting her through the rigors of preschool soccer, I find myself cringing, waiting for that moment when she notices for the first time that someone out there thinks she’s not smart enough or not athletic enough or that she’s anything less than absolutely wonderful and perfect in every way. It’s crushing, really, to know that there are people out there who will try to make her feel inadequate and flawed, and even more people who will make her feel that way without trying. But there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

I knew this time would come. I knew that she would eventually be exposed to other people’s opinions, good and bad; I just didn’t realize it would all happen so quickly. Just today, in the middle of a soccer game, one of Punky’s litle teammates, with her mother’s permission, asked me if Punky could come over to her house after the game. And just like that, I found myself agreeing to an impromptu one-hour playdate, Punky’s first without me. Without me. I wouldn’t be there to mediate disagreements or make sure she ate lunch or to comfort her if she fell and skinned a knee. I wouldn’t be there to hear what was said to her and how she would respond. It’s not like she hasn’t spent time without me before, with grandparents and babysitters, but this was different. This was a deal she had brokered herself, with people I barely know- people who may or may not think she’s as special as I do. My little baby is growing up, a whole lot faster than I had expected.

We have this idea, as new moms, that our babies will stay babies for a long, long time, and that even when they’re ready for preschool and kindergarten and the first few grades of elementary school, they’ll still be sheltered within the safe confines of our love. I’m learning already that this image is not exactly true. Obviously, time is passing too quickly, but what really amazes me is that it seems that once our babies turn three, the world decides it’s okay to begin judging them. I don’t want Punky to feel like she’s in intellectual or physical competition with other kids her age. Now that I know she’s going to be exposed to the idea whether I like it or not, I’m going to have to figure out ways to protect her gorgeous confidence, to reassure her that she is wonderful and amazing and smart and loving and just perfect the way she is, and so are all of her friends, no matter what anyone around them has to say about it.

This post originally appeared on Parents.com.