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Hi! I'm Lindsay Ferrier. You might remember me from a blog called Suburban Turmoil. Well, a lot has changed since I started that blog in 2005. My kids grew up, I got a divorce, and I finally left the suburbs for the heart of Nashville, where I feel like I truly belong. I have no idea what the future will hold and you know what? I'm okay with that. Thrilled, actually. It was time for something totally different.
This Girl Has Gotten (Some) Sleep
September 28, 2007
Okay, so THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your advice! I had/have gotten to that point where I was so tired that I couldn’t even get up the energy to think of a solution. Isn’t that sad? All I could do was crawl in bed each night and cross my fingers. Doing anything new was too exhausting to contemplate. But you guys gave me the kick in the pants that I needed. I actually bought a new mattress and it did help my sleeping.
Last night, I gave Bruiser rice cereal and he gobbled it up like a starving man. He had some trouble going to sleep afterward, but I finally got him down about an hour later. I decided to put him in the carseat to go to sleep and then transfer him to his crib a few hours later when I went to bed and he was in a deep sleep.
And that went well- I swaddled him tightly, popped the pacifier in his mouth and he conked back out in his crib. Punky slept in our room on the floor and I slept in her bed. Bruiser woke up two or three times, but each time, I re-swaddled him and he went right back to sleep, finally waking at……
7:30AM!!!!!!!!!!!!
Never in my life did I think I would be so excited to sleep until 7:30am.
Now this situation is far from perfect- I don’t want to spend my nights running to his room to reswaddle him. He’s incredibly strong and I can’t imagine that there’s anything out there (besides a straightjacket. Hmm…) that he won’t work his way out of within a few hours. BUT. We’re making progress. I had hoped that the swaddling would make transitioning from a carseat to a crib a little easier, and it looks like I was right.
So, any advice you have for step two of this process would be appreciated. How do I go from happy-swaddled-and-pacifiered-in-crib to simply happy-in-crib? I’m stumped.
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>I was thinking of you the last two nights when I was up with my own baby boy whom I was trying to get to go back to sleep without his pacifier b/c he has a stuffy nose and can not breathe with it in. I guess what I would do is take away one at a time. Once he gets used to falling asleep in his crib swaddled and pacifiered, stop swaddling him and see how that goes. I am not a total cry it out fan, but some crying will probably have to be permitted. Once you’ve done away with the swaddling, you can tackle the pacifier, if you want (which is something we’re contemplating here, though I think I like sleep more than I hate the pacifier, and barring a stuffy nose that kid will fall asleep like a charm with a pacifier. It’s like we’ve dipped it in whiskey, which I’ve only done once. just kidding)
>Hurray! For now, make sure his blanket is big enough, though Pumkinpie was a champ at getting her arms out. Eventually, he will stop waking when he unwraps his little burrito self, though, and sleep longer and longer. For us, a white noise machine also made a huge difference. And I keep a futon in Pumpkinpie’s room for those times when she went through a bad sleep week, even later.
>I bet the swaddling helps him transition, and at some point he’ll be used to the crib and not need the swaddling any more.
>All the talk about sleep aside, it is time that you post a new picture of this feisty little man!I can’t wait to see how cute he looks now!
>I read a book called The No Cry Sleep Solution that may/may not work in this situation. But basically the premise I gathered was about taking baby steps.I used to have to rock my son to sleep, and when it got to be an hour or more for him to fall asleep, I knew I couldn’t keep it up. So I’d rock him to near sleep and put him in his crib, staying there and rubbing his back. I’d do that long enough for him to get used to it and then I’d put him in his crib but not rub his back while staying in sight so he’d know I was there. Then I’d let him get used to that. Then I’d put him in his crib after less rocking, and I’d stay in his room for less and less time. A few months, and I was able to rock him for about 10 minutes, put him in his crib and coo at him for another couple minutes, and then leave the room while he babbled himself to sleep. The whole bedtime routine was at about 30 minutes including bath at that point.Then a few months later, when he graduated to a toddler bed, I made the mistake of letting him sleep with us a few nights too many, and we’ve been doomed ever since. Yeah, smart mama.
>I would work up to no swaddling, but I wouldn’t worry about taking the pacifier yet. Why do that to yourself? I used to keep several on the dresser next to the crib so that if they needed one in the middle of night I could just grab it quickly instead of searching around in (AND UNDER) the crib in the night. I just got my daughter to give up her pacifier two days ago and she’s 2. In fact, I just posted about it!
>Yay! So glad for you! My kids are thumbsuckers, which has its own problems (my 3 year old is now sleeping with a mitten), but is nice for that infant stage. I have heard about parents leaving a ring of pacifiers so that their baby just has to reach out and grab one in the middle of the night. But I guess if he is swaddled, he can’t grab the pacifier himself. Hmmm…. As for the swaddling, isn’t there a special swaddle blanket they sell that stays closed? You can also gradually let one arm out, and then two, and by that time, he may not need it anymore. He may also end up liking the sleep bags– they keep the baby covered since they zip up, and that way you don’t have to worry about blankets, and the arms are free to grab the pacifier.
>Step two is T I M E. He will get used to it and be able to soothe himself. Congrats on braving the switch…you did a great job! Keep up the good work.
>Roll him over…he might just be a belly baby, even against all the books. My son was. I swaddled the hell out of him…in three blankets…and the little bugger would be out in an hour or more. But I started putting him on his side…and he would roll to his tummy and STAY there. Oh yeah!!!!
>I second the one-arm-out method. Swaddle him under the armpit on one side (and alternate sides each night – I read somewhere that this ensures equal muscle development or something on both sides.). He’ll slowly get used to having some of his limbs free. Next step is both arms out, just the chest and legs swaddled. Once he can roll over, you shouldn’t swaddle him anyway, since he may want to stay on his belly but will need all his limbs to roll back over if he needs to.Gah. I just remembered. We got our daughter weaned off swaddling, only to encounter the phase when she could roll over on her belly, but not onto her back. So she’d get stuck and wake up and wail until we flipped her back over. This was the human spatula phase and it sucked.Don’t worry about the pacifier. He can put it back in on his own eventually. You have enough sleep-learnin’ for him to do. I scatter a bunch of them around our daughter’s crib and it’s all good. Good luck.
>He was a hungry man! Good deal. I think a baby has to be put in the crib while sleepy to make the transition. A lot soothing while drifting to sleep, so they know the crib is thier own little place. Now, that comes from me, whose girl was perfect that way but my boy STILL sleeps next to me at 3 90% of the time!
>My daughter, like Bruiser, was able to get out of her swaddling pretty easily. I switched her to those long sleeve “wearable blankets” (or “sleep sacks”) and she did really well. No swaddling necessary from that point on.
>Did I mention that she now sleeps TWELVE HOURS at night?
>Yes, it’s all about time now. Just let him start to figure out the whole crib/sleeping thing while swaddling him tight!When the time comes to stop swaddling, take one limb out per week. It took about 3 weeks for Wito to sleep without the swaddle once we started. Feet first, then arms. Good luck! You’re on your way!!
>p.s. – The Miracle Blanket was the only blanket that my baby couldn’t bust free from. (Trust me, I tried everything.)http://www.miracleblanket.com/index.htm
>I have no advice. I’m just lurking. Yer purdee. Wink, wink.May Bruiser sleep through the night, every night, very soon.
>Yeah, I got nothing except some hardy congratulations for getting sleep — even if it was just some.
>We invested in a sleeping bag type thing for Cole ( these are brill and are merino so breathe http://www.merinokids.com) he sleeps in it everynight and provides enough warmth that if he kicks his blankets off he’s still warm.Its also nice and snuggly for him and is like a little cocoon so a good compromsie from swaddling. To get him out of the swaddling habit over about a week or so we put him in his sleeping bag and then began swaddling him looser and looser each night so that he slowly got used to being free. It seemed to work but even now if he wakes up in the night all i need to do is tightly tuck the blankets in around him and he will go straight off to sleep. Good luck and just take it slowly
>Congrats!! It is amazing how precious sleeping in becomes when you have kids. My hubby and I take turns (sort of) each Sunday. We run around like idiots whispering “shhh he’s/she’s sleeping”. It is really nice and kind of odd at the same time.
>A cozy cocoon. I used one with my fat and easily starled guy. Depending on where you buy it, they say up to 18 pounds. I used mine well after that. You can check it out here:http://cgi.ebay.com/Leopard-Print-Baby-Bunting-Adorable_W0QQitemZ7745453938QQcmdZViewItem
>This may sound completely ridiculous, but my oldest loved to have his crib blanket tucked tightly under the mattress on each side and he still sleeps like that! Maybe it’ll work . . . it’s worth a try!
>Despite my prior persnicketyness, just him getting used to the situation will help. (The tincture of time). There will come a time where he wriggles loose of the swaddle and will hopefully stay asleep.
>The Miracle Blanket (Google it) is like a straight jacket. And incredibly hard for a baby to get out of. And they like it. It saved my life when I went back to work when my boy was 4 months old and wouldn’t sleep at all.Good luck!
>Hooray for sleep! I would say just give it time, but it’s easy for me to say that when I’m not the one getting up several times a night to re-swaddle a youngster, I realize. I co-slept with my son (although I still woke up a few times to feed him) and the thing I found that put him to sleep for sure was when I caressed his foot or hand or belly for a while. Knocked him out. Still does sometimes. ;^) (We discovered this when he liked to hold a soft cloth close to his cheek during naps.)
>I remember the first time my oldest slept through: I woke up at 6.30am and thought he had died (typical panicky first-time mum response). Have you tried Grobags? This is a link (for the UK, I’m afraid), but they’ve worked for us, with both boys. Our 21 month old is still in his.http://www.gro-group.co.uk/grobag/brands/babysleepingbags/And good luck!
>I wouldn’t worry about the pacifier now. At my house we take that away when you turn 18 months old, and the pacifier fairy brings you a train (you know- that fits on the train track) but it’s your first train with BATTERIES. Again, cold turkey.If the rice cereal makes him a little stove up on the insides, add a little prune juice or Karo syrup to his bottle.I bet you can’t wait to hear what I use for diaper rash, can you??
>Some babies startle themselves ( Moro reflex ) out of their sleep — swaddling prevents this, which is why it works. It goes away eventually, no intervention needed. My son LOVED to be swaddled, and one day it just wasn’t necessary anymore.As for the pacifier, he was 22 months, and there was bargaining involved. Sounds like you’re familiar with that, so I need not say more.Love your site, btw – from one blogging mother to another.
>Yep, more solid food and I think the swaddling works. He’ll eventually be strong enough to kick it all off anyway, and I notice most little kids like to sleep on their tummy, knees under, butt straight up in the air! When he’s strong enough to do that, you don’t have to worry about SIDS. And there’s no need to take the pacifier away yet. Babies need to suck, it’s WHAT THEY DO. If you take it away too soon, they’ll just suck their thumb and you can’t take a thumb away.
>Amenning the tummy sleepers. Once my daughter was old enough to turn over, she greatly preferred to sleep that way and pretty much instantly slept through the night. After reading a ton of research on SIDS, I concluded that a lot of info included things that I never had or did: smoking, blankets (or other smothering issues) in the bed, excessive alcohol usage, etc… I called it the “white trash factor” (horrible, I know) and felt good about letting her on her tummy after I stayed by her crib for a bit to check on her. She soon was sleeping 12 hours a night!Hope you get some rest!
>Not sure what kind of blanket you’re using for swaddling but those slightly stretchy waffle-weave blankets (the rectangular shape is best) are the BOMB for swaddling. My guy was SO strong but he stayed swaddled for hours with those blankets when nothing else would really remain snug.Have you ever read “The Happiest Baby on the Block”? It explains so much about the nature of small babies and swaddling and transitioning etc. and his advice actually works.
>My mother-in-law made a blanket for us that was perfect for swaddling. She just got a cheap stretchy cotton fabric, and hemmed around the edges. It was very big, probably three times the size of a normal receiving blanket. I have a pretty big boy, and it worked really well, I think because we could really tuck the extra fabric around him so tight. He slept for 12 hours that way.Once he started kicking out of that, we stopped wrapping him. He did have trouble going to sleep at first, but we would just turn some light music on to help him fall asleep. He would also cry for maybe ten minutes. If he woke up at night, I would go turn the music on, and he would go back to sleep in a few minutes. The crying and waking up lasted about two weeks. I eventually phased the music out, and now he goes to sleep around 8 p.m on his own, with no music, or patting, or special wrapping. He wakes up around 8 a.m.Oh, and the rice cereal really does help. I know alot of people are against it, but it just seems to me that he must be getting old enough to need something a little more solid in his tummy.
>I somehow missed the last post about this and I just have to say, “Whatever habits you have him in will probably need work all over again once he starts teething ’cause that keeps them awake and changes up routines.” WHich is why, I keep my babies in bed with me until they’re one or so. They can nurse all night if they want, but I rarely have to wake up for it.Just throwing that out there for when you’re really tired and desperate. Just take Bruiser to bed with you and fall asleep nursing him. A bed rail will keep him in and you will be much better rested than if you have to keep getting up to take care of him.My bigger kids fall asleep on their own, in their own beds and they slept with me for the first two years so it won’t keep him from ever leaving your bed or sleeping on his own. It just allows the pace to be slower if it needs to be.Sweet dreams.
>If it makes you feel any better, my parents had to get up every night and drive me around for months to get me back to sleep. They still are a little sensitive about all of that missing sleep, which is why they now feel the need to call me at 6 AM on a Sunday just to say Hi. So know that later on in life, you’ll be able to get your revenge.
>I’m afraid I have no advice – only a heart-felt message of congratulations for step one!! You’re on your way!!!