>Breast is Best… Unless You’re Like, EIGHT.
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One of my readers sent me a link to this video, which you just have to see to believe. Really, I have no words for it. NO WORDS. It does, however, lead to an interesting discussion on how old is too old when it comes to breastfeeding.
This video reminded me of when I was at my library’s storytime and the mother of an at-least-three-year-old girl breastfed her in the middle of the floor. I have to say it totally freaked me out seeing a talking, gangly-legged kid breastfeeding in public. I’ve thought about it quite a bit since that time (what with all the breastfeeding discussions we’ve had here) and realized it wasn’t so much the fact that this mom was still breastfeeding her child as it was her lack of discretion regarding her daughter’s privacy. I guess I think that once your child begins to resemble a little person more than a baby, you should nurse him or her in private. I would have been pretty pissed off had my mom breastfed me at three in public, particularly if it happened to be in front of friends who would potentially remember the incidents later on and tease me about them. I think the mom should have had greater regard for how her daughter might feel down the road. Of course, you could say that about blogging, too, I suppose. Uh. Anyway.
What do you think? Why is this video so disturbing?
>Well, I won’t be needing breakfast today!You’re just way, way outside of the societal norm if you nurse past 2–and really past oneish in public. I think that after 2 it really is for the gratification of the mother rather than the nutrition of the child–and that is just ick.
>Seriously.disgusting.I sat open-mouthed (hahaha) in horror. I bf my kids for one year, but really? 8 YEARS????
>Wow, just wow, wow, wow. Unbelievable.
>So disturbing on so many levels. In fact, I can’t actually think about it any more or I’ll be nauseous. I’m not going to come out with a definite answer on when weaning should occur, but I agree that public breastfeeding from three on is inappropriate. Actually, I will say it: I think weaning should be finished before three. Well before.
>I must resist the urge to make a joke. Seriously, this is slightly disturbing to me. They TALK TO HER BREASTs and TOUCH THEM? When an infant does that, he/she has no other way to communicate, but these are walking, talking kids, and they are able to draw pictures of their mom’s boobs. What disturbed me most is that dad says, “Where’s mine?” in front of the kids. I’m sure they were too young to get the innuendo, but it’s still kind of sick.
>I saw this last week and was horrified as well. I am a breastfeeding mommy to a six month old. But an eight year old? That’s going a little too far. How much of a benefit is it to breastfeed at eight? Probably not anything at all. WEIRD!
>This video is disturbing – on many levels. I get the part about wanting to provide your children comfort for as long as possible but there’s also an element of dealing with reality that I think this woman is missing. The fact that these girls have a personal relationship with their mother’s breasts at this age (in which they have to psychologically deal with the complications of through drawing – an art therapist’s daydream!) seems more than slightly oppressive for them. I breastfed my son until he was 2 and a half and my daughter until she was one and half. I had a different experience with both but I will say, it is a self-less act and not one that I think anyone should right off as “gratification of the mother”. After the initial sweetness of feeding your newborn, the reality is that breast feeding is exhausting and grueling at times. I don’t think I overdid it with my son – though I was treated so by everyone (from my parents to strangers at restaurants). Unfortunately in our culture most people completely get grossed out by a very nurturing and important part of childrearing. In my experiences, nursing past three was completely unnecessary – but, that’s just in my experiences. For my daughter, not much past one year was where we reached our stopping point. She didn’t care about nursing and was vehemently independent from the day she was born. She wanted (and still wants) to do things herself and for herself. Had she wanted to continue, though, I would have kept going until she was ready to stop. That being said, I would have taken the same route with her as I did with my son. At two, I started explaining to him how big boys drink and how big boys make themselves feel better when they are sad/hurt/tired/enter-other-insecurity. You can’t just let kids decide when the time is right without teaching them WHY the time is right. It’s like potty training. I don’t want them to be crapping their pants when their five or six or seven or fifteen.. So. You teach them – you don’t just take for granted that “they won’t be crapping their pants in college!” and not bother to teach them – which is mainly why this woman is so disturbing. She’s not helping her kids deal with the reality of self reliability. It’s just sad that long term breast feeding gets a bum wrap because of it.
>Just dude. In ancient cultures, including Jewish and many African, babies were weaned at 3 b/c they could drink from a cup. I think that’s probably the most “natural” break to wean since it’s so fluid throughout cultures. May I suggest that these children are exercising a form of control over Mom b/c she’s physically at their beck and call? My sister’s son did this to her. He nursed until his brother was born. He was 3 and still asked to nurse, but it was more of a “you are still my bitch” than a comfort thing. Even his tone was manipulative. She dealt with it well by explaining that the baby couldn’t have all of the wonderful things he could, like chocolate milk.Also, I sucked my thumb until I was 10, so I do get the “habit” part of it for the kids. That’s why I don’t believe it should always be up to the baby. If an 18 month old is over it, fine, but if kiddo isn’t done by 3 I will be putting up the “out of order” sign.
>OMG!!!I just don’t know what to say. Long term effects on the GIRLS!! Her pleasure? OMG!!!!!
>I breastfed two of my daugters until they were six. For the last three years it was only in private; from two on, we had elaborate negotiation about when, where, and how much. We lived in New York City, so there was a limit how much social disapproval I could tolerate. Both of them grew up to be spectacular women. Both went to Yale. One then went to Harvard Graduate School and MIT Sloan Business School. At 32, she is a wildly successful research and development consultant for a biochemical company. The other went to Harvard Law School, at 29 is a human rights lawyer whose firm is suing Blackwater and is defending prisoners at Guantanomo. She has helped write two books. She is a widely known and respected blogger on extraordinary rendition and US govt. torture. If you google her name and torture, she is the first hit.I would have never dreamed I would nurse children that long. For years they only nursed at bedtime or when they were quite sick. I am quite proud I met their needs even though I would have had a similar reaction to yours if I had heard about breastfeeding past three when I was pregnant with my first..Six years was my limit. And I tried hard to wean them starting when they were 3. My first weaned herself at one. This idea that long-term breastfeeding is for the gratification of the mother seems misguided. I can’t understood how you could force a child to breastfeed. I couldn’t force my fiercely independent daughters to do anything.In many developing countries, children nurse for a long time. Few American children are given the option of child-led weaning. Our society seems puritanical in that respect. Breasts are more for child nourishment than for sexual gratification.I am trying not to be judgmental, but II find many of the comments rather appalling. I had hoped you might hear from women who had actually done it.
>I refuse to watch that video but I’ve been able to figure out what it is showing and, yes, there has got to be some cut off age for breastfeeding. For me it is almost as disturbing to see a 5 year old (just picking an age here) drinking from a bottles as it would be to see the same child breastfeeding in public. Mom could always pump and serve it in a cup if it was all about nutrition of breast milk.I know a man who nursed on demand as a child until he was 4 years old. He remembers doing this and it wigs him out. By then he was already curious about girl parts and by 3 years old was definitely getting more than nourishment out of the deal.He really, REALLY wishes his mother had not continued.Maybe that’s how we decide… ask children that were breastfed what they remember and what age they recommend weaning. Of course everything is a general guideline and may not work for all families but there has got to be a point where it is just plain wrong and maybe along the lines of deviant sexual behavior.
>I am not defending the women in the video. I am absolutely appalled that she allow a video to be made of it, though I find the video interesting. And 8 seems way too old. The fact that my daughters nursed that long was a fiercely guarded family secret. I suspect their husbands don’t know about it; certainly my parents, my brothers, my extended family, and most of my friends never found out. My two home births and my extended breastfeeding seem to be the most shocking things I have done in my 62 colorful years. Both daughters are pregnant; it will be interesting to see how long they breastfeed. They both say 2 or 3 is their limit:) But again that will say more about their children than themselves.It is amusing that a woman could brag about sleeping with 50 men and not contend with the shock and horror she would confront if she breastfeeds a child until 3, 4, or 5.
>I think when a child can ask for it in a full sentence and/ or unhook mommy’s bra unassisted it is time to move on to the sippy cup.
>Exactly. If they’re old enough to ask, they’re too old to breastfeed. And especially if they’re old enough to REMEMBER. Ugh.
>I think breastfeeding past the age of two is weird. I breastfed my daughter until she was one and I couldn’t have imagined breastfeeding her any longer. I think it’s time for that lady to “cut the cord” and let her children grow up.
>Well….as a certified lactation educator here at the hospital I work for ….I find the age of 8 a bit strange. I will not pass judgement on them, but studies show that by the age of 3 a child will wean themselves naturally from the mother’s breast if they have not done so already. It doesn’t bother me to see a mother feed her child in public…even a 2 or 3 year old. I know women that have breastfed way past the first couple of years because of their child’s severe allergies. Breastmilk was their thriving nutrition. Our society is very judgemental over breastfeeding in public and at what age to stop. I do think Dad’s comments were very “creepy.”
>I wasn’t able to breastfeed my kids because they were both so premature, but I pumped and bottlefed for as long as I could stand it. That being said, once a child is independently eating and drinking, I think breastfeeding becomes unnecessary and inappropriate. I mean, what does this little girl do, breastfeed for a bit and then go out to play dolls with her friends? I don’t know why I am reacting so strongly to it, maybe it’s just the sight of a little girl more than half-way to puberty ASKING to breastfeed?
>Hmm. I don’t know. On the one hand, I detest how it’s ok to completely degrade and sexualize breasts all over creation (TV, print, movies, fashion etc). But then women are told to cover up and keep their breasts under wraps if they are breastfeeding.On the other hand, I’m not sure about 8 though. Does the benefits of breastfeeding outweigh the potential of criticism? I mean it would probably be hard for those girls to explain this to their peers now or later in life. I guess I’m not sure.
>I was really prepared to gross out.. which on some levels I did. On the other hand, the mother seemed so nuturing and soft spoken that I almost felt sorry for her. A girl of 8 can manipulate in so many ways– I think that is what she is doing and mom doesn’t know how to stop it.I don’t know if I can state an age in which I think moms should wean- but it would seem a child who is aware of her peer social group would not want to breastfeed; just as my kids refused to hold my hand on the way to school at some point.
>This is child abuse, emotionally and sexually. (I add sexually because there are some 8-year-old girls who are already developing breasts themselves!)There is absolutely no physiological or psychological need for a child over 3 to be breastfed, and that’s even pushing it. The psychological need that is being fulfilled here is the mother’s, and she needs some serious help.
>I’m thinking that around 2 is a cut off. I know that’s how it is in a lot of other countries. I’ve been told my doctors and lactation specialist that they really don’t get the nutrition the need from breast milk after the age of 1. My goal was a year, and we did it a little longer just because I wasn’t sure she’d make it through the night if I cut her off (which of course, she did). In my mind, she was too old if she could walk and talk to me about eating. And, she’s 19 months old now, and I don’t know that I could have kept going!However, once she was about 9 months old, we stopped in public.
>It seems weird because…It seems strange because…It’s crazy because…It’s totally okay because…It’s entirely understandable because…It’s fine for them but not for me because…It’s child abuse because….It’s perfectly acceptable because…I just cant finish any of those sentences.Would it weird me out to see that? Yeah. But it would be my own weird doing it. The child abuse accusation seems a little inflammatory. That kind of projection, from the late breast-feeding to damaging the kids, is just illegitimate, because you’ll never see a study on the long-term effects of breast-feeding in a developed country…because so few people breast-feed for long in developed countries, and when they do they do it in secret. So I’ll just go ahead and remain skeptical about any claims that it’s child abuse, or damaging in any way. Hyperbole will get us no where; and if it’s not hyperbole then it’s just ill-conceived.That said, if my daughter were insisting on breast-feeding I would politely tell her to go to hell.Daddy’s boobs don’t work like that.
>Breastfeeding older kids as a survival necessity (Inuit or other frigid weather cultures on long hunts, for example) is okay. But as a demand from an older than 3 child? Nah. Creepy, in fact. I don’t view it as sexual at all; I view it as child controlling parent.
>I didn’t watch the whole video (being at work and all). Eight does seem rather old, but I imagine that they stumbled into it without much forward planning. My daughter is three, and she still nurses briefly in the morning and then again just before bed. If you had suggested to me that would be the case when I was pregnant, I would have told you otherwise. But, I have come to believe in child-led weaning, and truly, the nursing sessions have just dropped off without any whimpers. One recent evening, my daughter went off to bed without nursing — no muss, no fuss. I expect that will happen more and more frequently as the days go on.We do not nurse in public, and honestly, I was always self-conscious about that, so I think I can count the times on one hand that I nursed in public when my daughter was an infant. She is not allowed to grab at me in public, and frankly, not in private either. We do discuss the fact that it is unlikely that any of her friends at “school” (a large day care) nurse, and we have also discussed the fact that only babies and small children nurse — not “big girls.” She has been mulling this over.I do find it interesting that there is so much negative judgment directed at the moms who nurse young children. It’s amazing how that works — the nursing fanatics bug the heck out of you that “breast is best,” and unfairly belittle the bottle feeding moms, but once the child hits the one year mark, then apparently, it becomes a bad thing. I’ve always found that a bit disingenuous.
>Why, oh why did you have to share that?! The image is forever burned into my brain. I’ll thank you later.
>Since I never breast fed any one of my four children, I don’t have much of a leg to stand on here, but…would you allow a child, at 8 years old, to drink from a bottle?
>Wow, I was totally prepared to say, “what’s the matter with someone breastfeeding a little longer than what many consider ‘normal.’But this is just bizarre-o.
>It brings new meaning to asking for milk at the dinner table. I was totally expecting her to throw off her top and give her a sip while they were eating. But you know, I totally don’t care if it’s right or wrong. It appeared to be a mutual decision between mother and child.
>I breastfed my boys until 12 & 15 months, and my youngest was child-led weaning. I don’t think I’d have a problem with someone nursing a 3 year old. I’ve been around people breastfeeding their 2 year old, and I don’t think it’s that far of a leap to go to three.But 8? That’s one helluva leap.There is no such thing as a self-less act, breastfeeding included. There is gratification for the mother in some form or another. Certainly not a sexual gratification, but there is some type there. My boys are both 5 and 7 now. I continue to meet their needs without my breast. I just can’t get my mind around using my breast in that regard for so many years. It’s beyond nourishment purposes, even for many developing countries. I think both mother and child have to grow into other ways to nurture than through the breast.
>I personally feel the whole breast feeding thing is overrated to start with. Not everyone can do it. There is a lot of guilt in women who cannot do it (interface issues, postpartum depression, logistics) The hard science has demonstrated a very mild reduction in early ear infections. Epidemiologic data is always more murky, and in the right cohort you could prove any point (higher IQ’s, likely to get into an Ivy League College).That being said, I was disturbed when a friend’s son (~2.5) came up to his mother at supper at a restaurant and asked to be nursed. Our pediatrician asked us to wean the bottle at about 1 because the “bedtime bottle” which is always the last nipple-meal that is weaned usually, does a number on the dentition. Those kids didn’t look like they had the best teeth in the world. The video was truly disturbing. The breast seemed to be the focal point of the mother and children’s lives. The household god so to speak.
>I have to admit that the video creeps me out. I breastfed my daughter for 13 1/2 months with many, many negative comments from family. Had it not been for the negativity I would probably have continued, but I cannot imagine still breastfeeding (she’s now 4 1/2) let alone until she is school aged. However, that being said maybe the child is manipulating the mother, maybe not. Maybe the mother just does not know how to comfort her children without breastfeeding. The things that bothered me most was the artwork, that they named them and also that the kids said that they should never stop breastfeeding. That turned my stomach. At their ages they should have some inkling that this isn’t normal and it won’t continue forever. They didn’t seem to get that at all. I couldn’t see myself breastfeeding that long and for me it was weird, but I can’t shake the feeling that there was something behind it that wasn’t being addressed.
>Wow… that is weird, no? I’ve never heard of a woman producing milk for that long? I guess you produce milk as long as there’s a demand for it? I stopped breastfeeding when my baby started biting… around 10 months for both boys.
>If my child is too old for a bottle or pacifier, he/she is certainly too old for the boob.Yes, “breast is best” BUT children can start drinking regular whole milk at one year of age… why the need to still use breast milk, or formula for that matter?I was creeped out by it, but to each his own, I suppose.
>In addition to the breastfeeding itself, I do find it strange how much they talk about breasts, play with their mom’s breasts, draw pictures of them, name them etc. This seems strange to me. I’m not sure it has anything to do with the fact that it’s breasts… it might be equally strange to hear a kid talking about, naming and playing with and spending that much time talking about Mommy’s knee or tummy or something. I am not sure why it is such a focus. Of course, the video is made that way, and I wonder what else this family does in their spare time. They seem quite unconventional. I also think 8 is too old to be breastfeeding. I don’t think there is a health benefit and I don’t see why you can’t bond by cuddling or hugging or doing other things. Like many people have said, if a kid was still on a bottle at that age, we would think it was odd, and it’s kind of the same type of thing.
>I think we find it disturbing that at a time when a child should be learning the basics of cooking (and is obviously well-versed in how to get nourishment from other sources!) and should be gaining some independence and self-reliance, she’s still tied to her mom for nourishment.
>I had a few reactions, which I’ll try to post in the order I had them.Gut-reaction #1—EWWWWW!Gut-reaction #2—You won’t catch the baby on my breast after a year.Gut-reaction #3–I’m being a bit judgy here. Maybe there’s some value to nursing on this schedule? But would I actually let my 8 year old up close and personal with my boobs or would I rather pump and give it to them in a cup? I think the cup.Gut-reaction #4–Her nipples must be made of steel. Doesn’t nursing hurt, like, a LOT? Gut-reaction #5–They’re pagan…now I get it.So basically, yeah, when it comes to my kids (I’m 15 weeks pregnant with pregnancy #2, which will be my first live birth) I can’t really imagine directly breast feeding past 1. Maybe, if my allergist or my pediatrician thought it would be good for my kids, I can see pumping and giving them breast milk in a sippy cup after that, but not so much the direct breast feeding.Can I judge her for that? Having been a wiccan in my earlier years (and they’re obviously practicing some pagan, nature based religion) I understand where the comfort with the body comes from. Often you practice your religion “skyclad” (ie naked) and believe that the body isn’t that big a deal. Pagans also tend to be really into what are often derisively called “crunchy granola” approaches to life and child rearing–unschooling, extended breastfeeding, etc. Which leads me to the husband. My husband is fascinated by the idea of my breasts doing something other than filling out a really sexy bra and creating some cleavage. He’s asked if I would be okay with him tasting it, which I am. I’ll admit that I’m a little curious myself. I think that it was a little out of context and could be taken many different ways. I think many here are overreacting to it.I genuinely don’t think anything productive comes from outright condemnation. Does it hurt them? No, they’re obviously healthy, happy kids. Is it something we would consider “normal”? No, which is part of what makes it newsworthy. Does it work for us as individual parents? Only we can answer that for ourselves.But yeah, I can still understand how the first and strongest reaction might be ew ew ew.
>I certainly won’t be breastfeeding Suzi for that long, BUT I won’t presume to judge this mother for her decisions. It looked to me like both mother and daughter were happy, if a little unorthodox.Some of you say this is “child abuse.” I’m betting that one or two of you spank your kids. Well, in my book spanking is child abuse. I won’t do that with my daughter, but how would you like it if I started wagging my finger at you and telling you social services should come take your kids away? I bet you wouldn’t like it at all! We all have to do the best we can with our OWN kids. There are a billion opinions out there, and if you try to listen to them all you’ll go crazy! God gave your children to you for a reason. YOU have the heart that knows what they need. I just have to trust this mother knows what she is doing too.
>2 things that bugged me…she said they think they own them. Obviously that’s ok w/her, but I don’t want to feel that anyone owns any part of my body. She also mentioned the big bad world, like when they go to college. I got the impression that she felt breastfeeding was a way to keep them safe, young, protected, etc. So am I to believe that they don’t go to a physical school building w/other kids and adults? I wonder why you would ever release your kids to go to college then. Why not let them live w/you for as long as they want? I just don’t think you can protect your kids from everything (even if you keep them inside!) and I just don’t think the world is that bad. Call me crazy. I can take it!
>It’s very easy to say that you wouldn’t breastfeed for more than a certain period when you have yet to reach that point yourself. I thought I was nursing for a long time when I weaned my daughter at 26 months. At about the 1 year mark I stop nursing them in public. I never intended to nurse longer than one year, but the babies simply weren’t ready at that point. When I did wean them it was because I put my foot down about the whole thing. I think weaning is an essential part of introducing the mother as an authority figure.I agree with the previous commenter that there is nothing gratifying about breastfeeding for the mother. There’s absolutely nothing enjoyable about it, and I wish people would stop thinking mothers get some sexual kick from it. Forget about child abuse, this is mother abuse!
>ok, my forst thought was ewww…I can understand breastfeeding while your child needs it- it’s nourishment- but when your child develops and grows, they hit milestones- like eating food. I am throwing out a comparison, and don’t jump and say I’m saying people are animals and kill me. BUT- even nursing mother cats, and other animals, wean their young off as they grow- it’s part of nature.They grow. I think it’s the mother giving in to a strange attachment. This is not a case of nature/nurture, it’s something far deeper.
>This video honestly made me sick to my stomach. I’m pretty surprised by the pro-like comments left here. I’m not saying anyone should have the same reaction as me, but I’m surprised non the less.My personal opinion… if he/she is talking, walking, thinking, verbalizing human being… weening should begin, rapidly. Holy Cow…literally!
>What if these were boys instead of girls? I think the sexual creepiness (I won’t say abuse) of the whole thing would be more apparent if 8- and an 11-year-old boys were talking about (and drawing) their mother’s breasts this way. You need to physically separate from your children at some point for you both to be mentally normal.I have one son who was very independent, and another who was very clingy. If I hadn’t worked with my clingy son to find ways in which he could soothe himself, he would still be attached to me at 12! We are suppose to bring our children up, to help them become good adults, not to keep them infantile.
>It is recommended that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired. Source: AAPThe World Health Organization recommends a minimum of two years of breastfeeding and exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life.What concerns me with this whole video is not the video- it’s the comments from all the mothers who are either reporting that they were made to feel bad for breastfeeding their child or are the mothers themselves who make all us breastfeeding mothers have to “hide” the fact that we are being good mothers by breastfeeding our children. Do I think 8 is too old? Yes. Is there a HUGE difference in a child who is 3 and a child who is 8= YES! This video is not the norm. I don’t think anybody is advocating breastfeeding an 8 year old. Is it nothing short of shame that we can’t support women who want to breastfeed their young children past 1 years of age? YES. Shame on anybody who makes any mother feel bad for choosing to breastfeed.
>OOOOH, boy. Way to poke the mothering.com forum board bear there, Lindsay!Can’t wait to see what the extended BFers have to say about this!Personally, the only time I think a child over 3 1/2ish should be BFed is when it’s an emergency and you’ve got nothing else to feed them, like the poor woman in CA whose family was stuck on a snowy road. But I can’t wait to hear how people justify doing it.
>Oh please. We can have a discussion here without putting others down for their opinions. There’s nothing wrong with stating your opinion in the comments, even if it’s different from everyone else. And yes, we can judge the woman who appeared in this documentary, at least in a limited fashion, because she opened herself up to judgment, just as I do every time I write a post and hit “Publish.”
>Umm, saw this one about nine months ago and was speechless, still speechless!! I don’t have a problem with BF but when the child can say I want it, then it is time to put it away. JMO though.
>While I do agree that breastfeeding a child until she is 8 years old is “extreme,” I have to take offense to the commenters who respond that it must be the mother who is doing it for her own gratification. I have three children. My first, I nursed until she was three months old. I nursed my second until he was one month old. My third, who will be three years old in July, still nurses when she is tired (she also co-sleeps). To suggest that I am nursing her for MY benefit is absolutely ludicrous. If I could have made her stop a year ago, I would have. However, getting a child to stop nursing, who is so obviously attached, is more than a little difficult. I have to ask these parents who deem it “disgusting,” if they have ever tried to get an older child to give up sucking her thumb or a pacifier, or carrying around a teddy or blanket? Comforting habits are hard to break.I nurse my daughter in the privacy of our own home. I gave up nursing in public LONG ago. Each day is a struggle for me to avoid cues that might lead my daughter to nurse. For example, I can’t sit in a certain chair, and I most certainly can’t undress in front of her! Nursing her is excurtiatingly painful now, and I have absolutely no desire to be intimate with my husband. So to the reader who said, “I think that after 2 it really is for the gratification of the mother rather than the nutrition of the child–and that is just ick,” I say, “You don’t know what the heck you’re talking about.”
>Honestly, I have been conducting a library storytime in NYC when a girl of at least 5 pawed open her mother’s blouse to have a little drink not once but twice. I really think by the time the kid can unbutton the mom’s shirt? Too old. Even toddlers seems a bit strange to me, but not nearly as out there as a child who is of schooling age. And as to this case – frankly, by the age of 8, the kid is closer to the age of seeing breasts as sexual than he is to the age of needing them for nourishment, and that is just way wrong. I mean, at that point, when do you cut this off? He’s totally going to remember this and likely be icked out by it himself at some point in the not-too-distant future, I would think.
>I was one of those mothers who just couldn’t get the breastfeeding thing down. My older kids and I just didn’t get the coordination thing going so I pumped. And with the twins, my pediatrician thought I was nuts when I told her I was pumping.My opinion of this is that the family takes it to the extreme.I could have gone my whole life not seeing that video. I agree with other posters who say if a kid can ask for it and unhook mommy’s bra, they are too old.
>Ewwww. Ewwww. Ewwww.
>Eh, it’s not for me, but I certainly don’t see it as child abuse or anything sexual.
>An acquaintenance’s son nursed way past four. The mother was sick and tired of nursing, but every time she said no he would go batshit crazy. So to avoid the uncomfortable confrontation, she gave in. He was relentless in public (at other’s houses; she would NOT go out to run errands or to dinner etc., with him due to the incessant nursing) as he learned that she gave in immediately to avoid a fracas in front of other people. For all I know, that kid is still latched on and she’s home schooling. I quit inviting her over as it made me uncomfortable. It wouldn’t occur once or twice during the visit – it would happen every 20-30 minutes. Two visits and we were done.I liked the commenter who said “What would you think of a child who was still offered a bottle for comfort at 8?” How about at 4? That’s a good point. I’m actually okay with still nursing or giving a child a bottle for comfort way past when doctors say Wean, but the child then has to rinse out their mouth and brush teeth.
>When the kid can start talking and can pronounce the word breast properly and coherently, I think it’s time to go ahead and wean the kiddo…JMHO….7-8 is just tooo darn old..
>One of my favourite parts of raising my kids is seeing them grow up and do grown-up things like eating grown-up foods and using grown-up utensils. I love it!
>I got as far as the minute, 25 second mark. Yuck. I don’t even know what to say. EWWW comes to mind. dawn
>That video was scary, in my opinion.From what I’m reading in these comments, it seems that the majority of mothers who continue to breastfeed (even if they wish they could be done) seem to do so because they don’t want to say no to their children. Seems like this issue might be a bit more about discipline, rather than just breastfeeding. Saying YES because the mother chooses not to say NO is a bit sad, to me.
>I really try not to judge people. It’s a goal that I really, really, want to achieve: never judging. But…the thought of a child REMEMBERING breast feeding really creeps me out. I think it’s great that more mother’s are breastfeeding now. I think ALL mother’s should breastfeed. But to 8 years old? That just seems wrong to me. Once the child is able to remember (say, around 2? 3 at the LATEST) weaning should occur. But, I guess, to each their own. It is interesting that people find this appalling. I don’t find it appalling, just a little creepy. For the girls.
>Hi there – read you often – love your blog. I’m pro-breast-feeding. My two girls were breast fed. But this video seems wrong on many levels. I can’t even elaborate because it would fill up too much space. Thank you for sharing though. It gives us much to talk about in the office on thir dreary Tuesday on Long Island.Fina
>I first watched this video a few years ago and many of the comments at that time were similar to what I see here.I personally do not find the video disturbing. Having breastfed myself, I don’t quite understand the uproar either. My son self weaned far before he was eight years old, but if he hadn’t we might still be nursing. Who knows.I’ll be honest. I did enjoy breastfeeding my son. Why is it so wrong for a mother to feel gratification? Should motherhood be sacrifice and nothing else? Clearly the gratification is not sexual, but stems from the motherly affection for her nursing child.Lindsey, I hope you didn’t post this mainly for the many, many comments you’d figure it would generate.
>why is it so disturbing?maybe because she’s, um, oh, EIGHT!and she had names for the boobs. and draws pictures of them??!?!?!i have no issues with extended breastfeeding..it wasn’t for me, but i don’t judge others who nursed longer than i did…but i can’t imagine that nutritionally and emotionally this is positive for a child this old.
>Sorry, but that’s way too much. I find it very disturbing.
>The job of a parent is not only to nurture a child, but also to help that child develop as his or her own person. Fostering dependence on the parent is not healthy. This mother may believe that she is helping her children, but she is giving them the message that her physical presence is necessary for their sense of comfort. The children will have a hard time understanding that they are sufficient in and of themselves, and may become overly dependent on future partners, as well.
>Oh. My. God. I think that has more to do with Mom not wanting to give it up than the daughter. So very sad.
>Eight is beyond my personal comfort level, but I’ve nursed two of my kids well past two and I know many saw that as “disgusting” so I guess I’m pretty hesitant to jump to jugment. And to anyone who said that after two nursing is just for the gratification of the mother. Um. Not. Still, it’s not always easy to put an end to comforting habits, even when Mom would like to be done, and especially when you can still see the health benefits (for instance, a ton of illness went through my house this winter, and I was able to keep my youngest easily hydrated with nursing, something his doctor was very happy about. A month after weaning, he came down with a seriously scary cold.) I’m not saying I’d nurse a kid til 8 instead of giving them some Gatorade when they get sick, but just making the point that deciding to nurse past two is IME a lot more about the child than the mom. I had a few sad little twinges of sadness on weaning, but frankly, I’d been ready to have my body to myself for a year.I really can understand the knee-jerk reaction to an eight-year-old nursing, but I do hope that these kind of discussions don’t give nursing past the socially-acceptable year, in general, a bad rep.
>You have got to FREAKING be kidding me!!!!!!!That is just even awkward to watch! I bf my two kids for a little over a year! But 8 year olds…um NO!!!!
>WhatEVAH. I’m just glad I don’t listen to the plastic people during parenting. I think circumcision is all of the above (and WORSE, since it’s much less natural than extended breastfeeding)WHY does everyone think it’s so cool to drink milk from the tits of an animal that lies covered in it’s own shit day after day, and is fed medicated food and steroids…. but HUMAN MILK? Oh so icky!!!I’ve never worried about “societal norm” because society is not looking out for me, or my kids, best interest.Breastfeeding mom, you go. I’d rather see an 8 year old breastfed than put in a thong that says “juicy”, which is also AN ACCEPTABLE SOCIETAL NORM these days.
>Teeth = ready for solid food.I am an avid supporter of breastfeeding (three kids breastfed for a year each) but when those teethers came in, that was God’s way of telling me they were ready for a more crunchy variety of nutrition. Love the blog..first time reader. Can’t remember how I found it, though..short-term memory is shot (see above reference to three kids).
>In a strange way, I agree with catherine. I always thought it was strange that adult humans happily slurp down a liquid that was intended to sustain baby cows.Not that I don’t drink milk, because I do. But why is it ok to drink a cow’s breastmilk but not a human’s breastmilk?
>Gertie, I actually think people would be even more disgusted by the image of an eight-year-old sucking milk directly from, as Catherine so eloquently put it, “the tits of an animal that lies in its own shit day after day.” I think if this mother were pumping her breastmilk and giving it to her daughter in a glass, this wouldn’t be much of an issue.I’m also curious as to where Catherine has seen eight-year-olds wearing thongs that say “Juicy” on them, and why she believes that’s an “acceptable societal norm.” Exactly where are you from, Catherine?
>Alright, I know I don’t usually try very hard, but I’m going to give a shot at some deeper analysis here:There is a metaphysics at play in this family that isn’t prevalent in mainstream culture. That metaphysics has to do with the world as mother, provider, nurturer. A figure of respect and worship.That metaphysical picture impacts directly on how the kids respond to mom and her breasts. They are respected and worshipped the way that in a more general way the earth is respected and worshipped. And just as making a conscious choice to thank the provider for the provisions creates a bond of respect between a person and the planet, so too does making the choice to focus on the breasts as a source of nourishment create a bond of respect between the child and parent.It is weird. But it’s not weird because it’s gross. It’s weird because most of us have different metaphysics. In this case the metaphysics the family adopts has a really striking impact on something as simple as eating. And what we can’t understand about the act, which translates into comments like “ew” and “child abuse” and others, is rooted in the inexplicable world-view that this family probably has.I think understanding how this metaphyics might work would make the choice to continually breastfeed at least understandable, even if it’s still not acceptable to people. Gut reactions are fine for a little while, but to make a judgment about this we need some more considered thought.I wish I could think of a joke to end on.Oh, when I began writing this, the comments were at 69. Tee. Hee.That’s all I’ve got.
>Um, Michaele, my kids each got their first teeth at two-three months (i realize that makes us dental freaks of sorts, but while unusual it’s not unheard of), and all had a full set of chompers before their first year of age. Ready for crunchier nutrition? Maybe (but for my kids, that definitely didn’t coincide with the first sproutage of their teeth), but it’s not one or the other.
>Didn’t even make me blink, except for the Dad’s comment at the end. Sadly, my milk started drying up around 4 months, when I went back to work full time. What a shame. I pumped and pumped and pumped, but we were done by 7 months. I wish I could have nursed longer. Not until 8, but I really can’t say that that video disturbed me or seemed sick or wrong or bad or devious or whatever. It’s different, but I didn’t see it as “bad.”
>I suppose you are right. If I saw an eight year old bellied up to a cow udder I would probably be disturbed. And scared he might get kicked. Don’t cows kick?That being said, I like your new picture. Although now you look all professional and stylish and Vanity Fairish….
>Many, many years ago, in a galaxy far away, I went to high school with one of the strangest girls I’ve ever known. She was an only child until she was 16, and her parents produced a baby brother. That child was still breast-feeding at age 5, in public–LIKE AT HIS ADULT SISTER’S WEDDING RECEPTION, which I personally witnessed. Apparently this was some kind of genetic thing, because when she had her own daughter, she breastfed her UNTIL THE CHILD WAS 14!!!!! At this point in time, she is ONE THOROUGHLY HOSED-UP young adult. In and out of major trouble, got pregnant as a teen–and probably not all that shortly after weaning from her own mother….and it just gets worse and worse from there. To say the mother (the one I went to high school with) is a nut job would be a compliment. Just a few “issues.”So much for that Breastfed Ivy League Rocket Scieintist Theory.
>I have to de-lurk to say that is creepiest thing I’ve ever seen!
>I’ve been following the comments and of course have to expound on my opinion.Upon READING your entry I was biased for the long-term breastfeeder b/c I generally believe our society is rather squeamish about nursing in a stupid way. When I watched I was shocked by the focus the whole family had on it. It was as though Mom’s breasts were some kind of god. When the older girl said it was “the best thing in the world” I was stunned. I don’t expect everyone to be on the same page, but to make Mom’s breast such a core part of the family seems off. When you become a mother you may give up your privacy for a while, but at some point aren’t we supposed to teach our children that our bodies are not amusement parks? Seriously, when even Dad is under Mom’s shirt publicly it sends a message that autonomy over one’s body isn’t all that important. And THAT was the part I found sick about it.
>Stumbled across this blog. Haven’t even gotten to the video yet because I was so “disturbed” by the commentary. The problem is that sometimes you just can not understand an experience or the reason behind something until you have gone through it. Examples I can think of is child birth. How do you explain any of it really? How do you explain to a 60 yr old man who has no children that having your husband in the labor room is not gross. How do you even explain this to a 50 yr old woman with 3 children who gave birth in the very traditional sense. How do you explain this to an 80 yr old woman who was knocked out at child birth, woke up with a baby, and a very bruised body because they pushed on the stomach to get the baby out. So experience here is everything. Societal norms change drastically with time. The only thing that does not change is the history of war and people/”society” thinking that their experience, hence their way of looking at life is the only way. In other words, the other guys must have a problem and maybe should be even stopped. For the record. I thought bfding was gross before I had a child (just never saw it before or had any experience with it even though it is so accepted now in society). Then I thought, well 3 months is plenty. Then 6 months. Then 1 year. Then well stop at two years. I have no experience past two years, so I just really can’t imagine or wrap my head around much longer than that. That doesn’t make my experience even close to valid though. Who really knows.
>I think it is normal and healthy for a child to ween his/herself by the age of 2 or 3 at the latest. I agree with another comment made here that kids need to be taught to do things like ween, potty train, etc if they do not pick up on it themselves.I can also understand the necessity of breastfeeding until a child is older if there is a medical need (e.i., leukemia or any other major illness). The child may benefit greatly from the nutrition and immunity boost that comes from breast milk.I find the most disturbing part about this video is that there is a video! And equally disturbing is that the mom in the video has to state to her breastfeeding 8 yr old that there will be no “monkey-business” or she will have to stop. What the hell is that about?!? If there are things happening during breastfeeding an 8 yr old that you would refer to as “monkey-business” then I have to wonder what kind of sexualization of breast has already occurred.Not to mention that these children will not be able to self-sooth themselves properly as adults…Ok, there are many disturbing things in this video, but I also feel like breastfeeding moms get judged severely for trying to nourish their children. And I do think it has a lot to do with the mindset of “boobies” and nakedness as objects of sex.
>Honestly? Who cares. The only thing weird about it is that people actually talk about it when ethnic cleansing is occurring in Darfur, soldiers are dying in Iraq, Americans are losing their homes in a mortgage crisis, global warming is causing extreme weather and real victims of abuse and neglect are being ignored. Seriously. Who cares about a boob with milk in it and a child who still enjoys it? Riding ones bicycle to work, growing organic vegetables in ones backyard and heating ones home with solar panels are all examples of “extreme” or “abnormal” behavior (ie: most people drive to work, buy groceries from the store and use a furnace), but no one would argue that it was “deviant” behavior. How does something that is so healthy and incredibly mundane suddenly become sexual abuse? As a victim of sexual abuse, I find this idea absurd and offensive. Sexual abuse is rooted in behavior that is NEVER appropriate. One could hardly say that breastfeeding qualifies.As for those of you who insist that when a child is old enough to “ask for it”, they are too old to nurse…what do you think newborns are doing when they cry, root and suck on anything that resembles skin? If that isn’t “asking for it”, I don’t know what is. By your backwards logic, a child who is mute could reasonably nurse until they die. Language skills have nothing to do with a child’s needs.Personally, I breastfed both of my children for longer than what Western civilization would deem appropriate. I nursed my oldest until she was 2.5 and my youngest until she was 1.5. Again…who cares? It’s nourishment and comfort, people. Get over it. Nothing could be more mundane…I will never understand the fuss.
>I think the disturbing part is that younger than two years old the pro-breastfeeding argument has more to do with nutrition, while post-two years has more to do with comfort. This is true, too, with pacifiers and bottles and blankets and stuffed animals. And all of those come down to how to teach your child how to comfort his/herself as they age. An eight month old is very comforted by a big ol’ boob coming at them, but an eight year old is only merely used to it – he doesn’t need it for nutrition and he needs to learn how to handle the word “no.” I think that is the real problem and, like many commenters, would be annoyed/disturbed/fill-in-the blank about a bottle at eight or a pacifier at six, etc.And like the story of the mom nursing the three year old, moms can embarrass their kids in a multitude of ways without piddly ol’ blogs. I like singing really loud and dancing around my daughter when she’s trying to talk to her friends, which really irritates her. My post about her being grounded only got a shrug and a “So?” Kids. Go figure.
>I do not understand when there are comments about “fringe” behavior that say that this will not teach your child how to self soothe or learn about how the “real” world works. I am at an age that most of the people I know where taught very early how to “self soothe” and where taught that comfort is fleeting and you really need to grow up. Basically just the traditional way of doing things, nothing too drastic. But guess what. I find very few people in this world who can actually self soothe themselves. Yes they may be able to stuff down their feelings, resentment, anger, frustrations, but at a high cost. Does anyone really believe that we are doing that great as a society in this respect.
>I nursed my son until he was 3.5. It wasnt my plan, but that’s how it turned out.In some ways, Im thankful, because at almost 3, he was diagnosed with cancer, and breast milk was practically all his nauseated tummy could keep down.After weaning him, within months, he was so frail, he needed a feeding tube…sometimes I wish I would have just nursed him longer.My daughters were weaned at 1, which is what I thought was “best”….as I said, I never intended to nurse my son for so long, but Im no longer judgmental of those that go beyond what I think is best.It is not sexual, it is bonding, it is nutrition, and I dont see anything repulsive about it.
>I love your new picture it looks great!Now about this breastfeeding thing. It’s out of the norm but everyone seems happy and healthy. I’m sure it’s not for everyone but The benefits like the higher I.Q. sounded like a plus. Somehow discovering at the end of the video that the family is Pagan explained everything!
>God bless you and your family Heartshapedhedges.You do what you believe is best for your family and there is nothing wrong with that.
>Love the new pic. So pretty!
>The problem for me is that this mother is supposed to be teaching her children to live in Western society, which discourages breastfeeding at EIGHT. Not three or four or five, but EIGHT.It’s very likely that this girl will hit puberty and have a desire to be like her peers. She will have (and probably does, since this video is a few years old) problems since no one has told her what “normal” is according to her peers. Can you imagine how popular the ten-year-old would be on the playground who talks about how yummy mommy’s breastmilk is?I’m a little sad about the number of commenters who have gotten SO ANGRY/snarky in this discussion. I wrote about my thoughts after seeing the video. I am absolutely open to listening to people who disagree with me, as long as they do it politely. Some of you (like heartshapedhedges, for example, although only a total asshole would have argued with your decision) have given me new perspective. I enjoy reading other’s viewpoints. They expand my own. I wish everyone would keep that in mind when commenting. There is simply no need to put others down when stating your viewpoint. You certainly won’t win any new followers that way.I know someone who was breastfed until the age of five. It was a cultural norm where he lived. It’s not a cultural norm here. That’s my sole reasoning in wondering whether mothers of older children might want to nurse them in private, so that they’re not opening themselves and their children to the judgments of others. And even then, it’s just my opinion, it’s not a proclamation on how things should be, nor is it any reason to attack me.Hmph.
>Lindsey, actually, a total butt hole did argue with me…the night my son was diagnosed, we were told of his high risk leukemia over the phone (after blood results came in) and told to get to the hospital immediately. by the time we got there, it was about 8pm. We had arrived to our room, and he was cuddled into my nap, nursing (covered, Im quite modest) and the doctor came in to talk to us. It wasnt the oncologist, but the “resident on duty”She looked at me and said, “that is so wrong, he is too old.”My eyes were swollen, as we had cried the past five hours, after being told of his condition, and that’s what she had the nerve to say.Truthfully, I didnt know he would ever get cancer…When nursing him at 2 years 8 months, he was healthy, and my reasons for still nursing had nothing to do with what was to come.He was almost weaned at 1, when I became pregnant again. Suddenly, in the midst of my pregnancy, he went from nursing once every day (or less) to wanting to nurse 24/7.The thought of forcing him to wean, just as a new baby was arriving, seemed like a bad idea, one that might spur jealousy (which I definitely wanted to avoid.)I called a lactation consultant at the hospital, for advice, and she noted that my collostrum (sp?) must have come in, as it is like sugar water, hence my son’s increase in wanting to nurse!I gently tried to discourage the nursing, sensitive to the new baby/jealousy stuff…and as it turned out, I ended up nursing two kids, once the baby was born.Like I said, it wasnt my plan, and I probably would have judged anyone else that nursed their son that long, until I ended up in that position myself.My son was never jealous of the baby, in fact, he has always been her biggest fan, and now ages 7 and 5 (and weaned and healthy) they are best friends.I wasnt offended by your post at all, but when people in the comments section remark about how “disgusting” something is….well, I find that more repulsive than an 8 year old nursing.
>Look, as for my comment, I apologize if I hurt anybody’s feelings. Sincerely.The perspective I am coming from is the good of the child…if a child is able to feed themselves, it doesn’t seem to me that it could possibly be doing that child any good physically or psychologically to be nursing from their mother’s breast at that point. (Except for the case of the food allergies, and severe illnesses, as some moms have pointed out, but then, it seems that psychologically, it would be more healthy to pump and allow that child the ability to get that nutrition not dependent on their mother’s availability at all times.)It would seem there is an unhealthy dependence happening at a time when a child should be learning to become their own person in this world.From the standpoint of the mother, there comes a time when you have to let the little one learn independence even if it pains you to let go.I am a single mother, and believe me, it’s been really difficult to let go of my now 8-year-old sleeping in the big king-sized bed with me and having her own room. Just in the past 6 months has that even happened consistently! So we all have our battles…If there is a physician who could give scientific evidence of the contrary, I am completely open to changing my mind.
>The arguement of dependence/independence is curious to me.As someone that nursed for longer than what seems “the norm”, my son is amazingly independent, always has been.Maybe because I made a career out of working with kids, I didnt go through a “new mom” phase of hovering and protecting my child. My kids have always done a lot for themselves, with supervision. The notion that nursing is related to not letting go, is silly.Most children like to be cuddled, some more than others, and as they grow, some want that closeness at all.My child that nursed the longest is also my child that liked to cuddle the least…really, the only time he wanted snuggling is when he was nursing. In any case, how do you label or condemn the close moments between children and their parents? How do you decide when they should stop being nurtured?For the record, my kids have never had a pacifier, or slept in our bed….they were taught to self-soothe, and be comfortable on their own.
>Those are excellent points, heartshapedhedges.
>OMG…. I am floored. That is utterly (no pun intended, haaaa) disgusting!
>”The problem…is that this mother is supposed to be teaching her children to live in Western society…(Breastfeeding a child until they are eight years old is) not a cultural norm here. That’s my sole reasoning…so that they’re not opening themselves and their children to the judgments of others.”I was raised without television. This goes against a societal norm.Before anybody says that it isn’t the same, let me point something out. When I tell people that I was raised without television, they are universally surprised and most find it disappointing or upsetting and STRONGLY disagree with my parnets’ method of parenting. Some of them say “good for your parents and good for you.” Most of them say “your parents stripped you of a normal childhood by refusing television and that is abuse.”I had a normal childhood…without television. It wasn’t abuse just because it wasn’t a mainstream idea and to call it that belittles the individuals who are victims of abuse. Being raised outside of a societal norm means very little in today’s world, a world which accepts very much. My behavior has never tipped anyone off that I was raised without television; instead it is always information that I volunteer. Although I was teased about it as a child, most other children were also teased about something so as I got older I started to feel that being teased for being different IN A WAY made me the same as everyone else. I never had any trouble making the adjustment into a world where my peers were raised with television.My parents went about their no-TV policy in an extreme fashion, but so what? I won’t go into the explicits of our television-policy here, but I will say that my parents did what they felt was best for their family, even though it was outside of the societal norm and even though it did open up my family for criticism and judgment.Essentially, this woman is no different than my parents. Although extended breastfeeding is far more rare than no television, both are outside of the social norm and both are considered beneficial by some and detrimental by most. She made a decision – for her own reasons – which most people disagree with, few people accept, and even fewer people implement themselves or advocate.I think it’s about so much more than the societal norm. The outcome of this story won’t play out for another twenty years and who knows what the societal norm will be then?(Please don’t think that by this comment, I am being disrespectful of your opinions or the opinions of the other commenters. Nothing could be farther from the truth.)
>I see your point, however I can’t imagine that people have reacted to your lack of television with disgust, as they have in these comments. I doubt that they worried about your mental/emotional state or your sexuality, as people have worried about the eight-year-old’s in the comments. I could see this movie having an impact on the girl’s future in all sorts of negative ways, from the men who want to date her to potential job opportunities to her friendships. I’m not saying I think it’s right, but I absolutely think it will happen, if it’s not happening to her already.
>What do you think? Why is this video so disturbing?You are doing the blogging equivalent of talking out of both sides of your mouth if you ask your readers to express their opinion of what they see wrong with the video, but then turn around and attack them by calling them “assholes” when they express their disgust.YOU may not be disgusted by it, but just because some do doesn’t make them assholes or necessarily wrong.
>Usually I’m pretty non-judgmental because much of my life is outside of the societal norm…but..ewwww.There is no way that I personally would breastfeed a child that long.I must also admit that the whole thing about the girls naming the breasts, not wanting the Mom wearing a bra, etc just completely creeped me out.To each their own, I guess. I’m married to a man 20 years older then me, and some find THAT creepy and weird. Breastfeeding (if, when, how long) is completely a personal decision. Breast feeding that long certainly wouldn’t be MY decision.
>I am floored, there are no words for how uncomfortable that video made me. I watched it early this morning and it has taken me this long to find ANY words that describe how horrified I am. These children seemed to have an unnatural obsession with the breast. The pictures an names were extreme and disturbing to me. At 8 years old, children are beginning to understand bodies and to some extent sexuality. We would certainly not be justifying children drawing and naming Dad’s private parts, but it is ok for them to do it to Mom’s!!!????!! Maybe that was a badly produced video, but the girls seemed immature and socially delayed for the ages they are at. And Lindsay is right, this video will impact future relationships of any kind. They may be impacting relationships now, these girls do not seem to have any common ground with “typical” girls of the same age. I just really doubt that very many 8YO girls are hanging out at playdates or school discussing long nipples and yummy breast milk. I cannot even bring myself to use the word disgusted, I was leaning more towards scarred for life! And the “No monkey business” comment really just put it over the top, along with how giddy the mom was that the kids “loved her breasts” despite stretch marks. I am not against BFing at all. But if the shape of my nipple ever become a “dinner table topic” SOMEONE SHOOT ME
>jenny, did you actually read heartshapedhedges’ comment before reading mine, which referred it? She was nursing her 3 year old son who had leukemia. And only an ASSHOLE would say something derogatory to her about nursing a child with leukemia, which is an experience so horrible that I would judge almost nothing a mother in that situation decided to do, whether she was still giving the child a pacifier or letting the child drink from a bottle or letting the child wear a pink bunny suit all day, every day. Only an ASSHOLE would judge her for doing anything within reason that made her child more comfortable. That’s not my opinion. That’s a fact.
>In response to Jenny, she likely did not read the original comment from heartshapedhedges. That is an extreme situation as far as I am concerned, no judgment on that here. As a mother of a child that has logged some hospital time, I can vouch that if me running through the halls naked and singing Mary had a little lamb would have made her day better, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT. That video however is disturbing enough to make a person abandon all rational thoughts. And I would still really like an explaination of what possible “monkey business” could occur!
>Oh man! The video stopped early!The scariest thing I hear was that the 8 year old started playing in her room and stealing her mom’s bras and stuffing them. She then said she can’t wait till she gets older so she can suck her OWN breast…yeah. Weird..methinks
>Ya know, the sound isnt working on my comp, so I watched the video without HEARING anything, including comments by the child.Ill take off my mom-who-breastfed-her-3-year-old-and-her-baby-at-the-same-time-for-a-year-like-a-freaking-dairy-queen and put on my therapist hat, and suggest (remember I cant hear the video) that there MAY be other troubling issues going on, independent of the breastfeeding.I dont think extended breastfeeding, in and of itself, is always a problem….you need to know the mom, the child, the situation, before judging.But there may be all kinds of other issues with this family. Based on some of the comments here (primarily the child looking foward to sucking milk from her own breasts) make me wonder if this family has more “out of the norm” issues, than just breastfeeding.
>For the record the daughter never said she was looking forward to “sucking her own breast”! Are you taking the mickey or what? Maybe people horrified by this should get some legislation drawn up so that we extended breastfeeding mothers out here know exactly when, where and how we should feed our children. The other option is to reserve your judgment for actions that actually harm children like hitting them. Now that’s a cultural norm that disgusts me.
>hitting children isn’t a cultural norm Amanda. Apparently disciplining your children these days is against the social law because I just saw a mother get slapped across the face at the grocery store by her little Mikey (and he wasn’t two) and she said now Mikey you now your not supposed to hit and he slapped her again. I think something is seriously wrong with society when kids are abusing their parents because of a lack of discipline.It is unhealthy for a child not to know their boundaries.I think every parent should check out this article http://www.beliefnet.com/story/227/story_22761_1.html?WT.mc_id=NL44 By John Rosemond: ‘Why child psychology is damaging’
>If you equate “disciplining” children with hitting them, then you share the same view as the majority of parents. That makes it a social norm. And you wonder why “little Mikey” is hitting his mother. Monkey see, monkey do.
>This is Veronika’s blog and post about this video: http://veronikarobinson.blogspot.com/2006/02/trashy-trisha-goddard-show.htmlRead it, open your minds, and learn a little about and celebrate how different we all are.
>You cant make sweeping generalizations about “child psychology” as there are many theories and schools of thought.I am a therapist, and most of my career has been working with children. I have 3 kids of my own, and they get spankings when it is called for.
>Actually…..the “Whole” video on the internet did have the girl say she couldn’t wait to suck her own breasts when they were big enough. It also showed mum stating that the father likes to have breastfeed too…she had to keep everyone happy.
>I actually went and peeked at the women’s blog. She not only breastfeeds her 7YO, she has also breastfed other women’s children. Not for $$$$, just because she wanted to.
>For all of you who think nursing toddlers and 3 year olds is icky or unnecessary or just a negative thing, how much do you think your culture is influencing your views? Extended breastfeeding is a biological, historical and global norm. Even the AAP says it’s fine to nurse past one. The WHO says it’s best to nurse for 2 years. Babies come into this world expecting to receive at least a couple years of breastmilk.
>Monkey see Monkey is gonna get his “ask” kicked (as long as they are old enough to understand what is right/wrong). These women do not hit their kids and that is why the parental role gets reversed and the kid “disciplines” their mother and rightfully so. There is a definite lack of respect going on here. John Rosemond is a “therapist” and he did the whole “new-age” way of raising kids and he had the worst behaving child. He had to re-think his approach. There is definitely different ways to approach the subject of “discipline” and it doesn’t ever have to do with hitting your child but it depends on the childs behavior. The more severe the action the more severe the consequence and my dear in life you kill someone and you go to jail you do NoT get time out in a corner. It isn’t the social norm where I’m from you can’t even grab your childs arm to keep from crossing the street and getting hit by a car-someone is calling the police. It is that bad.
>@ Mary Jo Graves’ first comment: exactly.What really bothers me about this post is the judgmental comments I’m reading. I’m slack-jawed at some women thinking children *should* be weaned by age two or that a child shouldn’t bf in public after age one. Are some of you for real? Who are you to think I shouldn’t be feeding my two year old in public? My breasts offend you? You do realize that breasts are intended for feeding right? I’m completely dumbfounded by some of the close-mindedness of these comments. And I’m disappointed that women attack each other instead of letting others do what’s right for their own. Is bf’ing until the age eight right for me? Nope. But I refuse to tear this woman down when it obviously works well for her children.My three year old was weaned recently and still loves to hug my breasts. IT’S NOT SEXUAL PEOPLE. It’s a strong emotional attachment to the part of his mother that sustained and comforted him for so long. I just can’t get over how badly women are tearing each other apart over something we should be taking pride in. It’s no wonder the rest of the world looks at us like we’re crazy. We promote violent video games and bratz dolls yet sexualize bf’ing.
>I can’t agree more with what Renee wrote. Anybody who has breastfed for an extended period knows that it’s not sexual and the only gratification in it for the mother other is the knowledge that she is providing emotional attachment and security for her children.Just because something is outside of societal norms doesn’t make it wrong. So what if this family takes it further than almost everybody else? The girls seem healthy and happy and I bet they will grow up with great self-esteem and body images.
>The fact that so many women react with such open disgust to a natural function that is completely acceptable in many parts of the world, is a telling reflection of their own self-image.
>Oh please.One thing that I do agree with another commenter on is that just because some are expressing disgust at an EIGHT year old nursing doesn’t make them wrong and you right.Get off of your self-righteous high horse and understand that not everybody believes like you do.
>When I was 5 or 6, my mom went to our neighbors house because I was friends with her son. The mom was sitting there breastfeeding the 4+ daughter. My mom still talks about it, she thought it was a bit strange with that old of a girl.
>(Thank you Gingersnaps) Although I find the video quite repulsive, my self-image is fine, thank you very much . And just because I know that there is more to life than breastfeeding and try to encourage independence (sorry, but an 8 year old breastfeeder is not independent) in my kids doesn’t mean I’m not an awesome mom…hey I AM an awesome mom!! :)This is why the breastfeeding nazis got their nickname. Talk about not being tolerant of other woman and attacking mothers…
>Frankly, it grosses me the fuck out. I think once they are that old, the mother is doing it to get something out of it.