>To Care or Not to Care
>
The time has come.
I’m talking about the time in which my stepdaughters go to one of THOSE PARTIES, held at a home where the parents, in their words, “don’t care.” They don’t care if people drink, they don’t care if teenagers do drugs or have sex… They don’t care.
And we’re letting our girls go, although I struggle with this in my mind on an hourly basis. I have always told myself, and told them, that the more truthful information they give us, the more they’ll be allowed to do, within reason. We expect them to do a certain amount of testing their boundaries. We also expect them to know that there are lines they do not cross. Ever. It’s a delicate balance, and a difficult one to maintain. It requires a whole lot of conversation and no small amount of “What were you thinking?!“s as well.
We’re letting them go, because the truth is that I went to plenty of parties like this myself as a teenager, and so did my husband. Most were parties in which the hapless parents were out of town (leaving their teenagers at home… WERE THEY OUT OF THEIR MINDS?!), but some were at homes where the parents were present, and in some cases, even drinking alongside the kids. As a teenager, we didn’t think it was cool, although I’m sure the parents thought we did. We thought it was weird. As a parent, I feel the same way, only more so.
Who were these parents who didn’t care? And who don’t care now? What the hell is wrong with them?
Most of you who read this blog are the parents of young children. You care. Deeply. You tell me on a regular basis that you will never let your kid do this or that or try this or that or say this or that. But something happens between now and the teen years, something that makes some of you… stop caring. Or give up, I’m not sure which. Because in every generation, there are parents who end up letting their kids do whatever the hell they want. And they’re often seemingly nice people, too, with money and authority and, one would think, good sense. And yet, they have no problem with their children and their friends getting drunk or smoking pot or having sex.
I just don’t get it. I worry constantly about my stepdaughters and all of the things they face at school and when they’re out. I care a lot. I care too much for their liking. I want the full names of everyone they’re out with. And addresses! And phone numbers! Land lines, not cell phone numbers! Hell, I want social security numbers, too! And I want to find these parents who don’t care and I want to shake some sense into them. Because my children mean everything to me. And these parents who “don’t care” aren’t making the rest of our lives any easier.
This post originally appeared on Parents.com.
