>A Few Notes Before We Continue
>I’m not trying to be a tease- the second part of this story is half-way written and hopefully will be up later today. I’m sorry it’s taking me so long. For one thing, it’s an incredibly busy week- Punky’s birthday is tomorrow, Easter is Sunday, my older girls are starring in a play, and Punky’s birthday party with her friends is coming up next weekend.
For another, I’m having a little trouble processing all the grief and sadness affecting people I care about on the Internet and in real life right now. Baby Stellan likely faces major surgery next week. Angie faced what should have been Audrey’s first birthday yesterday. And now comes the shocking news that Heather’s beautiful little girl, Maddie, has died.
So much sadness. I feel just a fraction of the weight of these mothers’ sorrows, and I’ve been having trouble with it all week. I can’t imagine what they’re going through. I cried last night talking to my husband about how down I’ve been these last few days. I was embarrassed to tell him, worried he’d think I was being a bit ridiculous and melodramatic… After all, I don’t even know Jennifer or Heather, and Angie and I have only recently become friends.
But he understood. The Internet allows us to experience each others’ every day lives in such a deeply personal way. And when one mom blogger experiences trauma or grief or pain, we all do. I just need to figure out how to handle it a little better. Any thoughts on how you manage would be appreciated.
Also, on an unrelated note, a few of you have e-mailed me, worried I’d skipped over your comment at the City Paper because I haven’t yet visited your blog. Please don’t worry. I’m getting to it. Some days, I don’t have time to read any blogs at all. On the days that I do, I try to read between 5 and 10 of your blogs. Since I don’t like doing “drive-bys” and since you’re all incredibly intersting people, I often read several posts on each blog, and sometimes, I read hours’ worth. I like to feel I know you through your blog at least a little bit before I comment. That said, it might take me a week or two to get to your blog, but I will be there. I promise.
Not only that, I’m really enjoying the City Paper comment “system” I’ve got going. I’m having so much fun reading about your lives. If you want me to visit, please don’t forget to leave your URL in the comment so that I can find you, even if I’ve visited your blog before. And I’m featuring some of you on upcoming Backtalks, so BE WARNED. 🙂 I’m also thinking I need to share links to some of your posts on this blog, because so many of you deserve a much wider audience. You’re amazing! So get ready!
>I’ve been following Stellan’s story since you mentioned it – very sad – it makes the problems one has in everyday life seem so small. And my husband thinks I’m crazy because I read blogs about total strangers – but for someone like me who lives in a small town, is a SAHM, and sometimes can go an entire day without speaking to another human (between the hours of 8 and 3 anyway!) – blogs are a chance to connect with other people!
>Hey! Punky turns 5 tomorrow? So does my older daughter! :-)Happy birthday to Punky … and to us lucky moms who get to kiss and hug our kids tight …
>Everything I just read through those links broke my heart. Just shattered it into millions of little pieces.I don’t know what to say.
>You’re not crazy at all for feeling your feelings so much. It shows you’re a real person. Who wouldn’t be impacted in a tangible way by these stories. Happy Birthday to your sweet Punky! Enjoy it for yourself, too.
>In February a woman that I used to work with lost her baby daughter. I left my job before she had the baby, so I didn’t even know this little girl but I was so devastated for her and her mother. I went into a funk for about a month. There, but for the grace of God, go I.
>Robert Frost’s poem, “Out, Out–” probably explains how most people (religious and not)deal with other’s grief and their own:”No one believed. They listened at his heart. Little — less — nothing! — and that ended it. No more to build on there. And they, since theyWere not the one dead, turned to their affairs.”Put most kindly, life goes on and so do we.
>This season has had its share of tears and worry for women I have never met out here in the blog-sphere. I think its torturous for those of us who revel in being able to help hands on.. you know the type? “fixers” yeah , that’s me. Happy Birthday Punky!
>The grief and pain that I feel for Maddie’s family is so overwhelming. I am having the hardest time trying to explain my grief to people. My friend lost her child. She was a friend that I had never seen or even heard her voice. Never spoke of her to my family or friends. But I knew her. I loved her child.
>I have never commented before, I found your blog a few weeks ago, I wanted to say that I know how you feel processing the pain and the suffering that mom’s share out here in blogland. Yesterday was especially hard, Angie’s post broke me. But I found myself lost in prayer, time with God I never seem to find, I came home and had a healthy boost of patients for my children that I sometimes lack after a long day. Suffering and love they go hand in hand. But God uses it all for good, people are changed, I am changed. I take all that pain and suffering and hold them close in my heart and in my prayers and all the little things that usually get me down are suddenly all in perspective. And no matter how small every moment becomes a blessing.
>I go back to my comments on why God saves some and not others, previously. To that I add condolences and a hug to those who’ve lost a cherished one.On a brighter note, Happy Birthday Punky!
>I was just at the March of Dimes site for Maddie. It’s impossible to imagine the hurt for her parents and the others.Thanks for stopping by my place!
>I have to admit, I wasn’t sure if you would visit me, even though you told us to post our links, but you DID follow through, and it made me admire you even more. Its not like you’re not busy enough with kids, multiple writing assignments and all that, right? 🙂
>I have been following Angie and Jennifer for a long time now – Maddie, I only learned of today. What an amazing power the community of bloggers have – be that in prayer, or fundraising. I have witnessed the power of the internet previously – it’s a main part of the reason I run the foundation that I do. My heart aches for Heather and Mike, for Angie and Todd, and is hopeful for Jennifer and her PC.http://bombedier.blogspot.com
>Oh my gosh I did not know about Maddie. I am so sorry for their loss. How heart breaking.