>Conspiracii
>For at least a year now, I’ve watched in silent horror as the masterminds at Nintendo have made scores of mommybloggers their betches by plying them with free Wiis.
Oh, at first it seemed like an innocent enough plan. Find some of the Internet’s most easily brainwashed likable mothers, offer them a free Nintendo gaming system and watch Wii sales skyrocket!
But then I was invited to one of those infamous Wii parties. Project Runway’s Laura Bennett wasn’t there, but I do believe she designed the outfits for all in attendance…because just look what greeted me when I walked in the door.
Wii’ll just die if Wii don’t get that recipe!
…all the way to my friend Y’s house. If anyone could remain unaffected by all this Wii nonsense, it would be her.
“Y,” I gasped, soaking wet as I lurched out of the driving rainstorm outside and into her unusually clean kitchen. “There’s something about these Wiis. Our friends… change when they get them. Some claim to be in love with them! Others have completely replaced their blogs with Nintendo jargon! I’m scared, Y! Hold me!”
“Why, I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Y said prettily. I stared at her. She was all dressed up in some frilly concoction.
“Not you, too,” I said slowly.
“Oh yes,” she grinned. “I got an e-mail from Nintendo yesterday. My game system should arrive any day now. And did I tell you I’m starting a review blog?”
“No, Y!” I yelped. “No!“
“It’s not ‘Y,’ anymore, dear,” she smiled. “It’s ‘Wii.‘”
I barely got myself out of that situation before Y could bludgeon me with an old Gamecube. And now I’m a mommyblogger on the run, trying desperately to elude Nintendo like a Frogger on the Information Superhighway. And it has occurred to me that these dastardly foes aren’t just after moms who blog. They’re after… moms. Period. I offer you the following irrefutable evidence:
Katie Holmes pre-Wii.
Katie Holmes post-Wii.
No, Nintendo, I will not “review” your Wii, no matter how many times you neglect to ask me. Despite raising two small children and two teenagers at the same time, I still have a few brain cells left, and I’m not inclined to let Nintendo suck them out of my skull. But I would like to warn those of you who aren’t yet infected to BACK AWAY FROM YOUR WII…
>Stop scaring me.
>Project Runway’s Laura Bennett wasn’t there but I do believe she designed the outfits for all in attendance…I’m not sure if you’re familiar with LB’s designs, but that’s certainly not her aesthetic or style.
>Heh, my in-laws are Wii fanatics. Every time we go there it’s, “Let’s play tennis on the Wii. Let’s play Dancing with the Stars on the Wii. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BUY A WII YOU FREAKS?”Then again, I was going to get one for my husband’s birthday too….
>Actually, I am obsessively familiar with “LB’s” designs. She was my favorite contestant on the show. And she was verrrry Stepford-meets-the-Runway. And truth be told, I would have worn every single thing she made.
>I don’t never get no Wii.
>Are you saying you don’t get no Wiispect, Lindsay?
>Leave mii alone! Wii are not Stepford Wiives! Wii are just former viideo game-hating mommiibloggers (at least in myii case) who now have a liittle biit of fun once iin a whiile.Plus, wii may be marriied to biig computer nerds who take great priide in hackiing the Wii (whiile driinking a biir) to make it seem liike they are getting fiit but really they are cheatiing.Whyii would you thiink I belong to a Stepford-liike cult? Ii am the same person Ii was biifore. Trii iit! You wiill love iit!P.S. You shouldn’t bii able to comment on LB’s desiigns unless you are a fash-un expert. /eye-roll.
>I would sell my soul for a Wii Fit.:)
>It is insidious. I took the afternoon off to get the Wii Fit. I love it even though the squeaky little Wii voice tells me I am “obese”. How sad it that?
>Blasphemy against LB shall not be tolerated, Lindsay.
>I could not stop laughing at your pre-wii and post-wii pics of Katie Holmes!!! Too too funny!!!Do I dare admit? I own my own Nintendo DS Lite!!! I play sudoku like a maniac on it!Other than that, we are a wii-less family.
>As merely a blogger but not a mommy, I was forced to buy my own Wii this weekend. I can’t wait to get Guitar Hero and Wii Fit next…
>OMG this made me laugh so hard. I have friends who bought a Wii and they’ve definitely gone over to the dark side!!!
>It is not a coincidence that the Nashville Wiimom party was held after the Scientology Center opened.
>U R JUS JELUS!come to the darkside and stop whining already, betch!
>I’ve been resisting Wii for almost a year. I’m just about out of willpower.Take me now, Wii!
>I heart my Wii.I heart my Wii Fit.I heart my Wii games of all kinds.you know you want to come over and play….
>We actually bought ours because I’m not cool enough to run with the big wigs. LOL (Though my Husband would love if I was cooler…) But we do love it. 🙂 I think I like it more than he does. Maybe. It’s debatable.
>Nintendo if you are still reading this, I’ll do it!
>aw u dun need 2 do the wii fit MARIO KART RULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
>wii fit is fun but MARIO KART RULZZZZ
>soz about the double post blogger said it didn’t go thru, grrrrrrrrrr
>I am a convert – hubby has been a console addict for years. Xbox, xbox360. It wasn’t until the Wii that I can enjoy a console gaming system too. 🙂 But, Wii Fit – rocks my world to it’s toes. (btw – hubby thinks the wii is stupid. And I think HE is stupid. :P)
>Ummm, how do you get on the list? I just want a wii!
>I don’t have a Wii. I won’t get a Wii. My pet rock is DVD-addicted now, and everytime Seymour gets to watch a new Outer Limits (TOS) episode, I find some electronic component has been converted into some weird home defense device…usually after I vaporize something.Last thing I need is a Wii on top of that…
>Wii is probably the one contraption that neither of my girls have even hinted at coveting. They prefer a little thing called “YMCA Membership.” Perhaps when they come out with Wii Swim…or Wii Rock Climb…Also, just want to say, it’s a good day for “dastardly” in blogland. I used it twice today, and I SWEAR it was before I read this!
>Yeah, I love my YMCA too. Wii Fit is for Wiimps. You hear that, Nintendo? Of course, if you ah, want to try and change my mind, you can reach me at suburban.turmoil@yahoo.com. *cough*
>Does the Wii Fiit provide childcare during you workout? NO. IT DOES NOT.I vote YMCA.
>That first picture scares me. Looks like the Stepford Wives!But, oh my wii! I love ours. *hangs head in shame and walks away*
>Not only did I have to pay for our Wii, I even paid extra because I bought it on eBay. I love it, and was thrilled to get Guitar Hero for Mother’s Day. However, I still dress like a slob.
>I begged for a wii for my birthday last year and I got it and was sooooo thrilled!! This year my birthday was just in time for wii fit….can’t wait to see what comes for next year! I do have to fight my children over it, but since I got it for MY birthday that makes it MINE and I get to control who gets to play—brahahahaha……
>I broke down and bought the hubz a Wii for Father’s Day last year. Now Nintendo just needs to send me some games to test out. 😉
>The dark side has never looked so good. Heh! Wii love it over here. When we meet in person just *try* to resist looking straight into my eyes and resisting mii wii powers, girl. This is was awesome.