>I See Mean People
>Not all that long ago, I was shopping in the grocery store when, inexplicably, I dropped a carton of eggs.
It was pretty funny, actually- There was a comedic moment in which I fumbled for them, almost caught them, then watched helplessly as they slipped through my fingers to the ground. Fortunately, the eggs stayed in their container when they hit the floor, but undoubtedly, they all were broken. I looked over at a young couple beside me and sort of half-smiled apologetically. The guy, who looked to be about 23 or so, glared back at me.
“Now we know why the eggs are always broken here!” he said contemptuously, before turning on his heel and stomping off.
Some see dead people.
I see mean people.
And for some reason, they generally feel a burning need to go off on me.
I mean, you’d be amazed how often I’m merely going about my business when I get an earful from a stranger over something I’ve done wrong. Take that time over the summer, when an old lady gave me what-for, all because I dared to let my daughter sit at a table ten feet away from me in an empty ice cream shop while I paid for our food. Or the nurse who, just a few days ago, apparently decided that I was solely to blame for every accidental pregnancy in Nashville.
Or the woman ahead of me at the McDonalds drive-thru last week (Are you kidding? of course I didn’t boycott McDonalds!), who ordered her meal and then decided to clean out her car just two feet away from the checkout window, with five cars lined up behind her.
I waited 30 seconds. She paused as she found a cap, and slapped it on her head. The cars ahead of her in line were long gone.
I waited 30 more seconds and watched her page through a magazine.
I waited another 30 seconds and at last, ever so gently, tapped my car’s horn. Which was kind of loud, given that I have a humongous, environment-eating SUV. But I only tapped it, I swear.
She looked up, then turned to look back at me out of her open window with her toothless mouth agape.
“What’s yer problem?!” she bellowed.
Oh geez. Mean people.
I shrugged and smiled. “You,” I said pleasantly. I mean, she asked, right?
“Idiot!” she yelled. Then she pulled up another foot, right next to the guy at the window, before turning back to yell some more.
“Stupid!” She screeched. Oh, that hurt. I grinned like a maniac and gave her a thumbs up. She paused and then moved in for the kill.
“Damn YANKEE!”
Now since I’m from Georgia, technically I was more southern than she was (I’m taking the liberty of guessing that she has never been outside Tennessee’s state lines). But I could understand how she made the mistake of thinking I was a Damn Yankee, seeing as how I had all my teeth in my head. I thought of telling her as much, but she screeched off before I could get two words out. I pulled up to the window.
“Are you having a good day?” the guy asked nervously, looking from the exhaust fumes left by The Screecher’s car back to me.
I raised my eyebrows and we both started laughing.
I mean, really, that’s all you can do.
When you see mean people.
>They’re everywhere – especially on public transportation in Boston! I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been pushed and shoved in someone’s rush to get on the commuter rail or a packed subway.It’s totally aggravating.
>Sometimes I even think they are stalking me. Just a few weeks ago I had a certifiable shopping cart attendant pick me out of the crowd, tell me I could not take my shopping cart into the parking lot … and then when she backed down, and I did go into the lot … she started telling other people I was personally at fault for every shopping cart ever left in the lot. (Not true, really!).Kudos to you for keeping your sense of humor.
>I agree — they are everywhere!!! It never ceases to amaze me how rude people have become these days. And I’ve learned that while I really want to tell them to **ck off, killing them with kindness works much better.
>I’m an advocate of the Thumbs Up and Wave Hello method of pissing off people who have a “problem” with me. It gives me such joy!
>My two worst mean people experiences:1) In L.A., this guy bumps my car from behind with his car because I don’t play chicken with oncoming traffic in order to make a left hand turn. I got out of the car, furious, and bellowed, “What’s your problem?!” He says, “You should have turned.” “So you hit me?” I sreeched, flailing my arms in the air. He fearfully babbles apologies, suddenly realizing that he picked on a woman willing to take him on.2) I’m at an art fair, again in L.A., and my baby is not having a good time and is crying unconsolably. An old German woman comes up to me and says, “Where I come from, people don’t let their babies cry like this in public.” I retort, “Where I come from, people mind their own business.” The wide-eyed look of shock on her face was priceless.Killing bullies with kindness has it’s place, but I’m more of a fan of clearly letting mean people know that their behavior is unacceptable.
>oh mai gawd!! that’s too damn funny. i work with the public so I HAVE to bite my tounge but boy oh boy are there times when i would love to go off on the mean people that are just being jerks!
>I see them too. All the time. I used to work in a bank. For ten years I had to deal with people and their money. A lot of them were rich. But they weren’t the mean ones. The ones that THOUGHT they were rich and tried to give off that demeanor, they were the mean ones. I used to laugh at them because, duh, I know what your bank balances really are!
>I can’t tell you how much it cracks me up that her best insult is “Yankee.”
>I’m a big fan of blowing kisses to the driving meanies…or smiling and waving insanely as if they were a long lost friend!
>My friend Dolly works retail and she says this time of year is..well, it is. And she said a woman waited in her line, a longer one, and when she got to her, she said it was because she had smiled warmly to her earlier in the store and did not mind waiting for Dolly after that. The kicker? Dolly did not remember the smile, that’s just how she is. But it was the first warm smile that woman had recieved all morning shopping. So, seek ye the smiles, ignore the mean :)Happy Holidays Lindsey!
>I thought I was the only person alive that was a ‘mean people’ magnet. Even my best friend has observed the phenomenon and has commented on the fact that I seriously attract them.One of my faves…I was at the meat counter at the grocery store (only person there at the time) and I glance up to see an elder woman bee lining straight for me. She brings her cart to a stop dead in front of me and says “If you would move your buggy over there (pointing to the other side of the isle), other people could shop to.” Floored, I respond, “Or you could do like most people and patiently wait your turn, besides my purse in in here”. I choose my pack of pork chops and start to move off. She says, “Well, you could put your purse on your shoulder.” Again, I say, “I have a cart to put my things in, I like it that way.” She says something else and I finally turned around and said, “Why don’t you just shut you mouth you old b!tch”. End of conversation.
>When I was a little girl, my grandmother and I were out grocery shopping. My grandmother accidently tapped the cart of another lady with her cart. She immediately started apologizing. The lady whips around and yells “Watch where you are going! You just ran into an old lady!” My grandmother yells back “Sorry lady, but I am no spring chicken either!” Then we turned the corner and burst out laughing. Still makes me smile to think of it. You have to laugh when people get themselves that worked up over something so minor.
>Your reaction to Ol’ Toothless is pretty much akin to my reaction to those ill-humored, ill-mannered folk what poke themselves out of their anal orifices to snarl at someone for somethin’ er other ;)When I encounter ’em at work, I have to be more tactful. So I more enjoy the encounters away from my employer LOL…
>Since I moved to Jersey City several years ago, I’ve met: -a subway rider who told me Osama Bin Laden was “not so bad” because “he got 75 womans”-a bus dispatcher who acted like I was the Grand Inquisitor when I asked him what time the bus was arriving -a guy who sneered, “I ain’t pickin’ it up” when I complained about the dog crap he’d left on the sidewalk
>Just this morning in Publix. It was early they had one line open & a line forming, a second cashier called me to her line & I proceed to unload my cake, cards, sandwich, chips,bags of Christmas candy for coworkers…you get the picture. As I was almost done a woman walked up clutching hertwo items, staring daggers at me, I scooched a bar at the end of the belt so she could put her stuff down, still daggers…I was clueless to her reason for so much anger, until she unkindly pointed out the 10 items or less sign marking this checkout…..I had to defend myself & say I was called to this line. 8 am – and already she's miserable enough to unload on me. Seems like she could see there wasn't much choice in lines….jeepers I must be a magnet too. Mary in Atl
>Oh lordy. I officially have the dirtiest job on the planet. I work for a market research company that calls people’s homes in the late afternoon and evening hours for market surveys. (ducking)Let me first say that you have not properly been torn a new sit-down until you’ve done this job. And it seems that I get the worst of the worst; my co-workers are constantly “impressed” at how vicious my respondents are. And I read the exact same script they do, and add zero of my personal zest to the script. It’s amazing what people will say to you are merely an anonymous, heartless, unfeeling, non-human blob on the other end of the phone, and doing this job not by choice, but only because it is the only work available in this economically and spiritually depressed portion of the country. My only revenge, upon being called everything but a white woman, is to sweetly say “Happy holidays, and may God bless you!” Hopefully I can cram this in before the phone crashes into my freshly-seared eardrum. And ya know what, ladies? The women are EVEN NASTIER PSYCHO-BITCHES THAN THE MEN.
>I might possible egg people on, to be fair. I walked quickly in front of the bleachers at the local ball field and got yelled at to get out of the way by some old lady. So, on the way back, instead of going around, which I might have done if she hadn’t been so rude, of course, I walk, less quickly back the way I came, in front of the lady and when she yelled at me again, I calmly looked her in the eye and said, “bite me”. Mature, I know-
>Wow. You guys all have these fun little anecdotes about how to deal with mean people. I feel so boring now, with my trademarked death-glare and animalistic “F**k off” at the offending mean person.In my defense, I live in NYC…there are too many mean people for me to be original with all of them 😀
>I don’t see mean people. I attract freaks! I kid you not, I could be standing in the grocery store staring at pasta sauces, minding my own business and some random person will come over to me and start spilling their guts. Every where I go this happens! My husband says it’s because I always smile and say hi to people. No…. that’s not an invitation to tell me that your dog died, your husband left, your boss is a bitch, and your kids are worthless! That’s just having manners. Oi!!!Kris
>Lindsay – I love you girl, and I love your stories. I hope that you embellish them for our sakes, because they are *great* reading. Truly. But in case you don’t embellish them… maybe it isn’t everyone else. Could it be that you sometimes misunderstand a person’s motive? Or assign an intention to another person that doesn’t actually exist?Sometimes it is best to look at a person’s heart and see where they are coming from. Most people aren’t out to get us, they just don’t always say things the right way.It just seems a bit strange that these things keep happening to you.Just keeping it real (by being anonymous! heeee).
>I am charmed that you think so much about me. Really. And I’m sure you’re right. The next time someone calls me , ‘Stupid,’ ‘Idiot’ and/or ‘Damn yankee,’ I need to give her (or him!) the benefit of the doubt. In fact, I think I will simply insist that we hug it out, right then and there.FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES. And only then will I write about it.
>BAHAHAAA and there is the DAMN YANKEE story BAHAHAHAABeen waiting for that!!! When we go back to Ohio, we’ll stop by and take you with us since you belong there 🙂
>Oh, you are SO far from being alone in being a freak/meanie magnet! My friends often wonder what I bathe in or what pheremones I emit to attract all the bizarreness that is a constant part of my life.Take last night…insomnia had come for another visit, so I decided I might as well go the one of the handful of 24 hour stores here and get some of my last minute Christmas shopping done. The only thing they have open is the U-scan checkout lanes, but there were 10 of them. And only 3, counting mine were being used. So of course, someone had to come get in line behind me, start scanning their stuff and sending it to the bag area, and start screaming at me when I asked them to wait a minute so that I could finish bagging MY stuff and clear the area. The poor kid manning the area didn’t know what to do and you could tell that he was afraid I was going to lay the smacketh down upon the witch. I considered it for a minute, but settled for bagging my things and throwing hers back up the belt at her. And “accidentally” shoving her cart (which she had pushed into my brace wrapped knee) back into her hip.Sigh. Welcome to my world.
>”Damn Yankee” – oh, that made my night!Next time I’m feeling like a godless commie pinko around here, I will remember that at least I don’t have toothless strangers calling me a damn Yankee.(Oh, and did you tell that snippy nurse that you personally know a baby boy who evaded an IUD? No guarantees!)
>Once when I was at Opry Mills with my boy when he was probably around 2 and he started crying and having a melt down. A man walked by me and gave me a glare. HE NEEDS A NAP! he tells me. Really, genius? Thanks for the unsolicited parenting advice. The worst mean people are mean people who are mean when you have a child and you are clearly doing the best you can. Once I took my little guy to Target (he wasn’t walking yet), and he pulled his socks off as he often did. It was about 90 degrees outside so I didn’t think much about it. A woman came up to me and scolded me: WHY ISN’T YOUR BABY WEARING SOCKS? In both case I said nothing. And I’m a real yankee so you would think I’d have some good come-backs. But I don’t.
>They’re Every Where, Every Where!I’ve stood on both sides of the “checkout” stands. Some people just think that the world “revolves around them” only.Last job I worked as a cashier, I had this horrible, horrible person screem at one that day. I looked at my boss, setting up in his little cubby overlooking the check out lane and then I turned to the woman and asked, What crawled up your ass and died?”, closed my register, pulled the drawer, and took it over to the boss, and quit!Oh, and no, I didn’t check her out, either!
>Oh, I just remembered this one…except I think I ended up being the mean one…Camping at the river one weekend, miles from nowhere. Kids are playing at the beach and my husband and I had walked back to camp about 50 yards away to fix lunch. We saw some people come walking by and we waved a friendly ‘hello’. Hubs kept walking back to the egde of the camp site to check on the kids and comes back with a horrified look on his face. He says, “Those people are down there naked”. Me, “Come again”. Him, “Those people are nekkkkid”.Oh. hell. no. I promptly marched down there and said, “Look I am an openminded person, but my brains are NOT floating down this damn river. PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON”. There were 5 very young kids swimming there (a single mom with her 3 kids were there as well). I think that poor mom was scared to death. The man promptly went to put on his clothes but the woman thought she was going to defy what I said….she thought wrong and after about a 2 minute stare down she went ad put her clothes on as well. Idiots are lucky I didn’t call the cops on them.
>Yeah I see mean people EVERYWHERE all the time! It’s horrible. People with manners are near non existent. I had a grandma looking lady Bash my stepson in the shoulder with her cart and DIDN’T apologize! When I confronted her Some guy comes out of nowhere and has the nerve to interfere and say “now ladies”. She gave me a so what look. Real nice huh?
>Hilarious!!! i want you to know how much I enjoy reading your stories.Keep up the great work,Phil Bennettphilbennett.blogspot.com