>Poojinked
>Now that school is underway and soccer season is in full swing, getting to the gym for a workout is a major coup. So I felt pretty good Monday when I climbed on the elliptical at the YMCA. I was starting the week off right!
It wasn’t long before I was moving fast and working up a sweat. I reached up and ran my forearm across my mouth- and my face froze as I smelled something unmistakable. Poo. Baby poo.
I HAD BEEN POOJINKED!!!
This is just another one of those taboo parenting subjects that’s never discussed in Baby Magazine or on The View. Yet I’m willing to bet that 99.9% of all moms out there have been poojinked at least once. I can’t even count the number of times it’s happened to me. When Punky was a baby, poo would commonly lodge itself beneath one of my fingernails while I was changing her diaper. It stayed there, undetected even after what I thought was a thorough hand scrubbing, until I was out somewhere and happened to scratch my nose.
POOJINKED.
And while Punky was bad enough, I now believe Bruiser may be the most successful poojinker of all time- because changing his diaper is like trying to pin down a 27-pound bear cub. He wriggles and squirms and gets on all fours and then stands and paws at the air. Generally, diaper changes end with him on his tiptoes, clutching my neck, while I do a hug-n-wipe and just pray I get it all.
A few days ago, after a particularly bad blowout diaper, I continued smelling the effects for several minutes afterward. I walked past a mirror wrinkling my nose and saw some spots on the front of my shirt. Thinking it was food of some sort, I tried to brush it off, then looked down at my hand in horror.
He had done it again.
>You described what I go through with my 26 lb wild monkey – the all fours, hug and wipe, the clutching of the neck. I’ve yet to be poojinked, though. Not sure how I’ve managed to avoid it.
>Sounds like someone needs to start trying out the big boy potty early! : D.I have my own little bruiser (17 lbs at 4 months!) and I can tell you I am NOT looking forward to when he doesn’t stay where I put him anymore!
>Ewwwwww!
>Poojinked…never heard that ‘un before 😉
>aw, mom, but look at those curls….hug n’ wipe…we’ve ALL been there!
>my youngest was such a writhing nightmare to change as he became a toddler, that I never even used the changing table and instead sat on the floor with one leg slung (gently, but firmly) across his chest to hold him down so I could change him. THAT got some weird stares in public, let me tell you.
>Good thing you didn’t see it and lick your arm thinking it was chocolate!
>I’ll admit it, I’ve been there! And I don’t even have any squirmers…I guess that just makes me clumsy!)
>My nephew is the worlds worst about the poojink. At just over a year and weighing in at 39 lbs of wiggling love he gets me everytime! Especially cause he likes to “help”. I am keeping him more often and so I am really thinking of investing in latex gloves….and a rain coat.
>Oh…..I might try Jennys idea first!!
>Funny!! LOL Funny!! I have found poo long after a diaper change. It is so gross!
>Yeah, I’ve been poojinked before. Now, it’s washing with a nail scrubber every time to avoid that particular humiliation.
>I have tried changing him on the floor a few times, but it always ends with him crawling off the blanket and getting it on the carpet. UGH. At least on the changing table, he’s limited in where he can go.
>That is sooooo funny but true!! I never thought of posting my daughter’s picture at the post office but she was a professional poojinker!!
>Wait until he’s a teen. You’ll get your revenge. You can tell all his friends (girls especially) about his exploits. I’m doing that now to my sons. Revenge is a dish best eaten cold. Save all the incriminating photos, too. I threaten my sons regularly that I’ll publicly release certain photos if they don’t behave. BWHAA-HAA-HAA.
>your little “character” is the most darling little character I’ve ever seen!!!!! His little poo couldn’t possible stink!!! what cathy Burke said was funny…
>That sweet little curly headed angel couldn’t possibly do all the things you say he does! LMAO!!
>HA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh man, I’m sorry, I feel for you, but that is FUNNY. My 2yo does the neck hug while getting a diaper change too. After I’ve chased her down for the 6th time. Ugh! Thankfully she’s starting to potty train – wants to be like big sis!Good luck with the poojinking; I’m willing to bet that’s one part of parenting wee ones that you will not look back on with wistful longing.
>i love it! after 11 years as a child-free couple, my husband and I are adopting twin 14 month old boys… i’ve been warned about this! Poo, and pee, and puke, and pus, and more poo. i’m gathering hazmat suits and steel-toed booties, safety goggles and polka-dotted hardhats, rubber gloves and rubber duckies.i think i’m ready. let the games begin. bring it on!
>Okay, I was going to say I have never been poojinked, but then I remember breastfeeding. I don’t know if that qualifies, but there were many times when I would be breastfeeding one of my babies in the car, before going into the grocery store or mall, only to noticed something wet. I had been leaked on. I used a baby wipes and went on about my business. I mean if you didn’t notice my sleep deprivation, swollen leaking nursing boobs and my still wearing maternity butt then you deserve to say whatever you want about the poo on my shorts.
>Oh honey…I totally know how you feel. (I’m Dana by the way…first comment on your post though I’m guilty of lurking here on a regular basis. Hiya!)I had this problem with both rugrats and still having it with the Boy. You always discover that you have been poojinked at the most inopportune times too…it can never be at home. or in the actual bathroom. Nooo.
>OMG I had to cover my mouth to hold back the laughter from my family. I don’t know whether it was the story or that truly hysterical picture of Bruiser that did it. I would just bite his cheeks if I ever saw him (good thing you are far away).
>Cute little poojinker-
>Totally, TOTALLY been there. Actually, with my latest little one, I’ve actually ALMOST licked my arm thinking I had leftover mustard from lunch on my wrist. (Do not judge me, people).Stopped just in time. Eeegads.
>What a beautiful baby!!!!
>Poojinked! That is funny. I don’t think my kid has done it to me… but my cats have. My husband thinks that picture is the perfect mug shot.
>Poojinked! Awesome word! Did you make that up? My little guy is three now so it’s been a while since I was poojinked, and I can’t say that I miss it. But he occasionally leaves pee on the seat, which is a lovely late-night surprise – is there word for that? Pee-jinked?
>That’s why God gave us the nail brush.If you need presoaped disposable scrub sponges from the OR, let me know.
>Good thing you didn’t sample the “food” on your shirt. Ewww!!