>Save the Drama for Your Mama
>I knew last week’s post on why reviews and personal blogs shouldn’t mix would stir up some passionate opinions on both sides of the issue.
And it’s a subject that I think deserves some discussion, as more and more moms start blogging and we all consider both what readers want and how the outside world sees us as a whole.
When writing the post, I went to great lengths not to single anyone out or make anyone in particular feel uncomfortable. The sole blog post I referenced was written by Jessica Smith, who presents herself as something of an expert on merging personal blogs and solicited reviews, and had written a post in favor of the practice. I had dinner with Jessica and some other bloggers a few months ago and felt like I could take an opposing viewpoint without offending her. I even wrote in the post that her blog was not the kind of personal blog I was talking about anyway, since she gives out marketing tips, as opposed to her life story.
And maybe I didn’t make this clear enough in the post- I was giving my opinion as a reader of mom blogs, not as a blogger. Honestly, as a mom blogger, I’m more of the “blogging is for everyone!” opinion. But as a reader, the amount of review posts I’ve started seeing in personal blogs, coupled with the fact that it is at times hard to tell what’s a review post and what’s a “real” post until you get to the last paragraph, had really started to gnaw at me. As a reader of many, many mom blogs, I thought it was a good thing to talk about.
And boy, did the you-know-what ever hit the fan.
By the time it was all said and done, this post had been written, and this one. And I’m a little irritated now that what I went to great pains to present honestly and respectfully has been turned into another example of how “women can’t get along” and how “women always have to tear other women down.”
And you know what? Honestly and respectfully and with lots of warm fuzzy blogging love, that’s bullsh@t. (Sorry, Sundays. The @ was for you.)
My post was not about tearing women down. My post was part of a continual and necessary debate on the evolving landscape of the “mom blog.” I have opinions, people, and I don’t enjoy being accused of “perpetuating the mommy wars” and “not getting along with others” by airing them.
Some bloggers decided that I was coming out swinging against the new line of marketing mom bloggers. But I’ll tell you right now that the bloggers who’ve punk’d me the hardest with “Surprise! It’s a review!” posts are bloggers who’ve been writing for years. This discussion applies to anyone who has written a review, which is an awful lot of us, both newbies and vets.
Others decided this was some kind of Sharks vs. Jets personal battle between Jessica and me. The fact is, when I thought I had offended Jessica, I apologized to her. We talked it over (or DM’ed, if you want to get technical). We’re cool. I can’t wait to see her at BlogHer. I don’t know how much clearer I could have made it to everyone that this was not about her, but that she’d written a useful opposing viewpoint.
What you decide to do with your blog does not affect how I feel about you as a person. We can meet for lunch when we’re in the same town, or drink martinis at Disney, or eat cheeseburgers together at BlogHer, or tell each other all our secrets, or chat online every single day.
What you decide to do with your blog does affect whether or not I want to read it.
And that’s what my post was about. No hidden meanings. No innuendo. Just. That.
I started this blog in part because I had tried to meet up with other young moms, only to find that whenever I opened up about my true feelings in front of my new “friends,” I was met with shocked little gasps and befuddled stares.
I was elated to find that there were thousands of women out there who felt the same way I did, and loved the fact that I was writing about the things they too, wanted to discuss but couldn’t.
Suddenly, for the first time online, I’m feeling those shocked little gasps again, en masse.
And it makes me sad, because I don’t want this community of quirky, imaginative, outspoken women to turn into the arbiters of perfection I have to deal with in real life on a regular basis. I believe we can be honest about our opinions, and debate difficult issues passionately without being vindictive. I believe we can disagree and still be friends at the end of the day.
But I need you to believe that, too.
>I’ve written a few times at my own blog recently and have said it aloud countless others. I will defend to the death the right of every mom and woman to write what she pleases, but I won’t defend that which she actually writes. Just because I don’t support the opinion doesn’t mean I have a personal agenda against the woman behind it. We don’t have to all be friends to be supporting women in general.
>that was great. way to go.
>I loved the @ for the Sundays. You’re adorable.The fact is… you’re going to have jerks commenting. I say screw ’em all. Write what you want. Your real readers know your intentions. And I knew as well as everybody else that you were unaccusatorially and intelligently debating an issue. They’re not mature enough to handle that? Whatever. Screw ’em all.
>Oh, I believe!!!! I had a happy little (and I mean little!) blog for (literally) years. Happy. Little. I wrote what I wanted. And everyone was happy. And now that my blog is a bit more than little, I have started to hear the gasps, too. The “how dare she post that” and “why in tarnation won’t she post about this” and “she has a responsibility to inform the world about those because her blog is so big and all.”But you know what?I have come to the conclusion that all that is simply not true. There are whispers in public when I trapse around with my four young ones, so close in age, just as there are cyber gasps when I post–or, ironically enough, won’t post–about something. I even caught flack for breaking out of my shell and using the word cr@p (Sundays, yup.) on my blog when I was piss@d off when my little Stellan was in the hospital. I might even overhear whispers about posting this comment on your blog, just as you did when you dared to have a different opinion–and publicly blog about said different opinion–from other mombloggers. But I am so over it, to be honest. My blog is my blog. And, heck, I’m even polite on it! And if you have a different opinion than someone else and aren’t afraid to blog about it…well, then…isn’t that one of the big reasons why people read you in the first place!? Thought so.Carry on. I believe!P.S. Can’t wait to see you at BlogHer (Yuppers, I’ll be there.) and talk about how much you and I disagree. Or maybe the funny thing is that we’ll actually agree a lot. But I can pretend to have a vastly different opinion than you on some things if you want. Just to prove that it is indeed possible to be friends with someone and gasp differ, even vehemently, about things.P.P.S. Long live reviews on personal blogs!!! Sucka.
>You? Are classy, lady. I appreciate that you keep on keeping on, and that you’re always fair-minded about it.Brava.
>The measure of a great reporter is to get a reaction. Good job Lindsay!
>Lindsay, great post. And yes, I’m glad we talked over DM. And I’m looking forward to getting all schmoopy with you at Blogher.Honestly, the real hub-bub (is that even a word?) started last week with Business Week so I think your timing of the post right after that icky article might have been part of the reason things fell as they did.Thanks for reaching out last week…and if we’re going to be made out like Sharks vs. Jets then we must get jackets for Blogher, no?
>I also believe that ‘we’ (all of us,) can disagree and still be friends. Why does there have to be such drama? Oh, yeah. There are women involved. Our kind tend to get a little dramatic.
>You shouldn’t have to explain that you guys talked it out, but it’s super classy of you to give the rest of us a recap.Yours was one of the only polite, intelligent aspects of the recent llama drama I saw last week.
>Your post was perfectly clear, Lindsay, about the fact you were writing as a reader, not a writer.I wonder how much of the drama – whether on this issue, or breast feeding/bottle, homeschooled/other schools…is really related to our own insecurities. We want so much to do things “right” that we attack anyone with an alternate view – even though what may be “right” can and does often differ from person to person.Your final paragraph is spot on – we need to be secure enough to accept our differences, allowing them to spark conversation and exchange of ideas, along with all the great things that develop from them.How boring it would be if all my friends held the same opinion as me!
>gee, thanks. Now I can’t get the West Side Story theme song out my head… when you’re a Jet you’re a Jet… doo-de-doo-de-doo-doo.What Her Bad Mother said.Now, let’s just all hug it out over cheeseburgHers.
>I hate to say it, but this is totally a woman thing. men don’t do that. They can disagree and still be friends with no problem. Heck, they could have a knock-down, dragout fistfight and be friends 10 minutes later. Women could learn a lot from that.Everything doesn’t have hidden meaning or personal agenda. Some things just are what they are, period.PS) Thanks for the @! lol
>I thought your original post was balanced, calm, and respectful. You were clearly writing as a reader. I unsubscribe from blogs that punk me. I have little interest in reviews and don’t like feeling fooled. But I’m sure other people are happy to read those posts. To each her own.
>I thought your first post was clear and respectful. This one is too. But you linked to one of those blogs that plays the unsolicited music and I’m at work. Wah!
>I hate when speaking our mind gets us burned. That stinks, hopefully you’re hearing the yaysayers 🙂
>I totally agree with you. Your writing was beautiful and well thought out.
>Wha??? Taking your post and turning it into a “why can’t we all just get along?” or “it’s OK if we don’t all get along” is totally nonsensical. It was a post about why you, as a reader, don’t like blogs that mix personal and review/promotional. It had nothing to do with getting along/not getting along with other bloggers (mom or not). I appreciated it because one of my new favorite blogs has turned out to be waaaaay into pimping products and it annoys me. I still read her blog but I un-followed her on Twitter because her Twitter feed was 90% pimping stuff.It seems very forced to turn your post into a “mommy-bloggers face off!” fight. Someone looking to create some drama where none really existed.
>I think we all need to take a Rite Aid generic brand Valium (on sale this week with free shipping), perhaps with a Hershey’s brand chocolate bar and a free giveaway case of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. I agree the Blogger by Googlesphere needs to buy one get one free chill pill. (This comment brought to you by Gymboree.) Blog on!
>And posts like this are why you’re one of the few mommybloggers I read anymore. I had to narrow my list down so as to not spend my whole life in front of the computer. I chose you because you tackle tough issues in a respectful and humorous manner. And you write about poop. You’re like the whole package! It’s too bad you’re getting flack for it.
>Just keep doing what you do, Lindsay. It seems I have been seeing lots of women drama online lately, and it’s getting ridiculous. Can’t we all just get along–in spite of differing opinions? Just take it for what it is, and respectfully disagree, and that’s sufficient. No need for ripping into each other.
>What I love about your blog is that whether I agree with you or not on every issue, you’re honest about how you feel.
>I think the only thing you could do to offend my perception of you is if you started becoming apologetic for your posts.. or boxing yourself in, in order to keep the peace. But keep in mind, this is from the woman who was declined membership to a Christian mom blog b/c I used the word “vagina” in a post. SO, I may not fall into the normal mom blog scene. (If you do get a chance at some point this week, come by my blog and see the prayer request? You may actually know her… she’s been a journalist for a decade.)CeCe
>I think the only thing you could do to offend my perception of you is if you started becoming apologetic for your posts.. or boxing yourself in, in order to keep the peace. But keep in mind, this is from the woman who was declined membership to a Christian mom blog b/c I used the word “vagina” in a post. SO, I may not fall into the normal mom blog scene. (If you do get a chance at some point this week, come by my blog and see the prayer request? You may actually know her… she’s been a journalist for a decade.)CeCe
>I’ve been following this discussion – all very interesting views. Just curious – anyone who knows please answer: was the comment about the @ being forthe Sundays a matter of respect forthem or a slam on something she/he/they said?
>Definitely not a slam. Angie is a friend of mine and a some of her readers have started visiting over here. 🙂
>I find it very sad that women are even writing/commenting 'let's all get along'…not to mention a tad bit hilarious.Yeah and while we're at it, let's all ride pretty white ponies over a rainbow & share big ice cream sundaes!!!My opinion is this: You are very honest with how you feel & made it crystal clear you were writing your post from a blog-reader's pov. You even made it clear about the fact that you were not trying to point fingers &&& SINCE I saw that Jennifer herself commented politely about disagreeing with you, I saw no point in others getting all wild and commenting on you 'picking on her'. Oh WAH. Maybe this is why I end up reading blogs by women who blog and read your blog, as opposed to others. And I completely believe you. And if someone else has a problem with that, they can suck a LEMON. You are my hero 🙂
>I’m a long-time reader and what has always drawn me is your willingness to express your strong opinions in a humorous way. I don’t always agree with you, but so what? That would be dull. I think some of the commenters to your earlier posts are just trying to start a fight. Either that, or they are functionally illiterate. It was very clear that you were expressing your opinion as a blog reader. You honestly told how you felt when a post turned into a review.And all this stuff about supporting other women, the sisterhood, etc., is just crap. If I disagree with what another person is doing, they are not getting my support, just because we happen to have similar genitals, or just because we both happened to have birthed children. But maybe that’s just my cranky perimenopausal self talking.
>I don’t write reviews on my blog (yet) so this is a hard one for me. I think if someone is honest about it being a review,then I am fine with it. But be up front that its a review. I think you have made some good points and not every mom will approach it the same way
>I responded to the blogpost about the new wave of marketing Mommybloggers on Lindsay’s Facebook profile. My take is that it’s emotional highjacking to tap into a reader’s sympathy or empathy, only to turn it around into a Happy Ending Story by plugging a product at the end. It’s not fair to the reader and comes off as crying wolf.If someone had the poor taste to pick a fight over Lindsay’s very-carefully-worded, eloquent post, then that’s her problem. We all (for the most part) get along with each other, Lindsay included. Perhaps the Drama Queens who posted accusations of Lindsay being difficult hadn’t actually read her post.It’s a can of worms that needs to be opened and emptied, truth be told. You go, Lindsay! It’s sad you were put in the position of defending yourself to begin with.
>I don’t have a blog, so my opinion might not matter much. But I definately feel that it’s getting to the point where you can’t have an opinion without someone bitching about it. I read your blog daily and I thought the post was very well-done. I didn’t feel that you were calling anyone out, just presenting a case why your reviews are separate and how it feels when you read a post only to find out it is a review. Some people disagreed with you. What I would love to see are more posts where people respectfully disagree, like how you and Jessica did. In the end, it’s your blog and you have the right to say what you want on it. I think the readers need to remember that sometimes.Business Week article? I’m going to have to google that. Guess I’m not in the loop
>Dude. Yes. Just yes.
>McMama took the words right out of my mouth…”I believe!”And I think someone else said “Keep on keepin’ on.” I agree with that too.I hope that as a result of this comment, that beef doesn’t start about people stealing and reposting the content of other people’s comments.
>I’m not a mom, but enjoy reading yours and other blogs, and have noticed the “bait and switch” of some of the review/life stories, and I don’t like it either. What really surprised me was some of the vitriol on some of the follow up links you posted. Women don’t get along? Sure, not all, but disagreeing is not the same as not getting along, and being critical especially in the world of writing, is not out of line.Thanks for all your posts. Sorry I haven’t said that before!
>I’ve been reading your blog for a long time now and have never left a comment before, but I honestly can’t see why you’re constantly given a hard time when you (GASP!) have an opinion about something.Or maybe we’re kindred spirits, because I usually agree with the majority of what you say. And guess what? If I don’t agree with it, I respect your opinion and go along about my day. I don’t run off and write a post of my own about how ridiculous you are for what you say.This is why I don’t have a ton of female friends. I cannot stand the cattiness.Casey
>hey, im not coming at you, im defending your right to say and do what you want…same as anyone else, kwim? It wasnt meant to offend anyone, but just to say enough already, who gives a flying hoopty hoorah anymore. Or something like that. Anyway, you write, I write, we all write, its alright with me. I think your a great blogger!trishamomdot.com
>Oh, and spank you for the link. I appreciate the linky love…even if you dont mean it “like that”. Ill buy you a vodka shot at BlogHer.Trisha
>Trisha…you are into “spanking”? (see your above typo). I just couldn’t resist.This post just affirms what I’ve always believed…women are bitches. Why is there always the need to be negative? Women love to fuel drama where there was no fire in the first place. It’s so much easier to be friends with men.Men disagree and have drinks. They are content that they have their opinion and it’s okay that someone else thinks differently.
>I read all this and it definitely discourages me from Twittering–I could not stand to have all that negativity flying back and forth.
>i read your post right after getting a snarky comment on one of the posts i wrote for a blog network. after saying a bunch of snarky things in my head to her, i tried to write her a very nice email back to explain my side. i doubt anything will come of it but at least i tried. reading your post reminded me that there ARE snarky people out there but not everyone is like that. thankfully there are cool people like us that really get it!
>Man, I feel for you with people taking things out of context… I thought the original post (yesterday? I think? The days are running together…) was well written and respectful, and shame on the masses for going up in arms about it. Keep up the good work, and thanks for voicing your opinions!And thanks for the @, too. 🙂
>I only want to add this to the discussion: Anyone who thinks men don't have these moments of high drama in the blogosphere need to google "Loren Feldman" + "Shel Israel".You will not believe your eyes, and it's just one example. I could list many more. You would be AMAZED how inflamed technical debates get on Slashdot. Seriously, talk about hormones!There are countless pissing matches in the blogosphere between and amongst all genders. I think we all do a disservice to ourselves to think women are unique in this.< / PSA> 🙂
>I think you made it perfectly clear what you meant, and that some people either can’t handle someone saying something they don’t like to hear or need to stir things up for some reason. In either case, not your problem.
>Maybe they didn't actually clearly read your whole post?! That's the only explanation I can come up with because I thought your writing sounded extremely carefully phrased & like you had spent a LOT of time making sure you didn't sound snarky, but instead that you were opening up the forum for a peaceful (claws retracted) discussion.
>No, you don’t NEED anyone to believe that because you know it. Getting flak just means you hit a nerve. Some people get offended by the opinions of others. Especially when it flies in the face of their own.I personally don’t care who writes what on their blog. I personally have started and quit blogging so many times because I feel like I may not know where to draw the line on privacy. I live a transparent existence, and I don’t want a blog that is anything less. At the same time I don’t want to cross anyone else’s boundaries, including my kids. So, the navigation of blogging continues, and I’m proud of you for bringing a portion of the considerations to attention. Good for you!
>If you aren’t honest about the “deep” stuff how could I trust the “not-so-deep.” What if I ended up with a mountain sized bump-o-cool on my head because you were afraid of the backlash.Well written!
>You seem to have a lot of posts that have commenters ripping into you. In fact, it reminds me of e-mails between my mother-in-law and me. I’ve learned a lot from those e-mails and I would suggest that you take the stance that those people who rip into you probably already lean toward disliking you and look for things to pounce on. You can explain yourself but it doesn’t really matter because the readers who are open-minded already know you weren’t biased, and the others already have their minds made up about you anyway. Am I making sense?
>I keep thinking about this issue because the floodgates have opened and everyone continues to talk about it (my friend Y wrote a post about it yesterday). For one thing, I think any anger at promotional, product-promoting mom bloggers is misplaced. Not many of us would or do turn down amazing products and free trips when they’re offered to us, and why should we? Most of us are blogging for free, and the products and trips are a nice way to feel compensated for what we do, at no cost to the reader.I do feel a little irritation toward some marketers, who keep pushing the line on product placement on our blogs. Early this year, I turned down $1500 for product placement on this blog. $1500! I said I was happy to put it on my review blog, but the marketer said no, that wouldn’t do. And in this economy, I can imagine there are a lot of moms who would feel compelled to take the money and throw prior “standards” out the window.So if anything, I think it’s the marketers who are responsible for the sudden advertorial content on mom blogs, by throwing highly tempting amounts of money/ products at the moms who’ll do it and making it difficult to say no. I wish we could have banded together as a group and drawn a line for marketers on what is and isn’t appropriate, but it’s obviously too late now.
>I read the mombloggersclub article that you mentioned and thought that it was right on point. However, I don’t think that it was directed at you/bloggers who write like you. There have been several other (not as balanced) posts that have been written lately on these topics. Also, the MBC post wasn’t saying that there shouldn’t be disagreement. Rather, that it should be more civil. For those who have been following other discussions (or even looking at some of the comments that your post generated), it’s obvious that some bloggers have taken this difference of opinion to an unnecessarily nasty, personal level.
>oh, well said!! and i think a little provacative writing is always good for a shake up! because being a professional blog-stalker, you can lulled into a sort of hypnotic stare after awhile. that’s why i love to read you.people get their feelings hurt so quickly. perhaps it’s time we all learn how to count to ten before we let our fingers fly over a keyboard.
>NotAlwaysCharming…wasn’t a typo. Its an obviously stupid phrase that doesn’t translate back to text well…LOL!Sorry for the potty humor.Trishamomdot.com
>I didn’t read all your comments before posting this, so I apologize in advance if I’m repeating…The bottom line is that controversy sells. Having read your origial post, commented, and read your thoughtful responses I did not see any tearing down of other women.But is it a great, attention grabbing post to write, “Lindsay has a thoughtful conversation going on her blog about blah, blah, blah…?” Nope. Is it attention grabbing to spark controversy by blowing your post completely out of proportion and misrepresenting it? Absolutely.This sort of tactic is standard fare in politics, and as the world of blogging becomes more lucrative and developed I’d expect you’ll see more of it. It doesn’t make it right, but I’d expect it.Just keep doing what you’re doing 🙂
>Some bloggers just want attention for themselves — pure and simple. I have read twitter threads where a twitterer has incited some sort of reaction through a tweet or a blog post. I like engaging in positive ways on twitter and through blogs. Now I’m not influential nor do I have a lot of traffic on my blog, but I like to have discussions that are cordial.Also, noticed that some twitterers are so concerned with guarding their topic area/turf that they will get downright nasty with someone who encroaches on their turf.
>It always frustrates me when I take the time to write a well-thought out blog, and then I have to write a follow up blog to explain it. I think people really need to just relax already. 🙂
>Oh, pleez.I thought that as always, you were crystalline clear in stating your opinion and that it was not in any way an attack on anyone. The whole “women are all b@tches and secretly hate each other” (oh hai Sundays!) argument is tired and dated. I have personally found the blogging world in general and YOU in particular have been nothing but welcoming and inclusive to me. Women can be each other’s biggest supporters if we just drop all the preconceived stereotypes and accept each other as individuals.(Although I do feel compelled to mention in Christian love that the cleavage displayed in your blog photo does leave one with the impression that you are kinda a big ol’ ho bag. But you didn’t hear it from me.)
>I’m not certain how necessary or unnecessary the debate about marketing mombloggers is. I’ve been reading parent blogs for years, but only recently made an effort to join in. The marketing, well, I don’t really care one way or the other.The thing that really got me about this post was that when I read your other post, I didn’t think that it could have been misconstrued. I’m pretty sure that the blogosphere is great because of the diversity and availability of opinions, so even if your opinion had been something horrid and evil, I would have shrugged and gone “eh.” What’s to get worked up about? REALLY?!I hope that there isn’t too much “drama” involved in this after this post. If it means anything at all, at least one of your readers didn’t take the post out of context.
>I still don’t get why it is okay to make mass judgments on women OR men.To quote a comment above: “This post just affirms what I’ve always believed…women are bitches. Why is there always the need to be negative? Women love to fuel drama where there was no fire in the first place. It’s so much easier to be friends with men.”Can you imagine someone writing, “This post just affirms what I’ve always believed… Latinos are bitches. Why is there always the need to be negative? Latinos love to fuel drama where there was no fire in the first place. It’s so much easier to be friends with only white people,” on this blog?If you really think women have a monopoly on drama, you aren’t paying attention.
>Not a mommie (wrong plumbing altogether fer that), and don’t do or knowingly visit product review blogs. Not my gig.I just like Lindsay’s blog ‘cuz she’s funny, plucky, and can match verbal punch-for-punch with any detractor.I don’t see what’s to get snarky about in her post in the first place, bearing in mind my perspective differs (you know how we guys see things differently). And yeah, one commenter did note we dudes have snarky exchanges on our blogs about really important stuff like golf, beer, state comparisons and the total nonsense of the BCS in selecting college bowl games and rankings.My two cents ain’t worth squat in this argument, but I support Lindsay’s humor, intellect and articulate way of expressing both.
>Dang…shoulda had another comma after intellect in that last sentence. Hate when that happens 😉
>Almost all critical comments are, in fact, a defense of the writer. Whether you’re talking about stay-at-home versus working moms, (and dads), reviewing and non-reviewing blogs, yada, yada, the most vitriolic people are actually trying to defend their own position – because they’re not even 60% sure of it.To thine own self be true! Rock on!
>I thought your original post was perfect and I think this one is too! Your honesty keeps me coming back for more!
>hahahahaha blooming… if I looked half as hawt as Lindsay, my blog pic would be nekkid. N-e-k to the k-i-d.
>…I believe you hun. Hang in there.Perhaps stick a Bumpit in a tree and hang onto that. 🙂
>I’m not offended at all! I can easily address all of your points, because I’ve actually put a lot of thought into all that’s on/not on this blog.Anything I link to on this site is editorial. It’s something that you would see on this blog, only I’m lucky enough to get paid to write whatever I want for a couple of other publications. All you’re seeing is a different header, so I have no problems directing you over there. At the same time, you guys give me great traffic, which my editors notice, and which, I’m sure, helps me keep my writing jobs. That’s good for everyone. I can write more and you can support me and my writing without spending a penny.The reviews have an advertorial feel. They are totally my real, honest opinion, but they are also mostly positive because I only accept products I think I’ll like and can use- and in many cases, I’m using the product/service already, so when I get a request to write about it, well of course I will. I felt strange even linking to them on my weekend posts, so I’ve solved that problem by putting them in my sidebar. I will still link to giveaways when I have them because again, that benefits you and you generally have a GREAT chance of winning my giveaways.The first time I offered to comment on the blogs of people who left a comment at the City Paper, I had new editors and I wanted them to know who I was. Heh. But I’ve really enjoyed the system that creates. Once, several months ago, I offered to comment on everyone’s blog who left a comment on this site. I got so many comments that I was completely overwhelmed. At the CP, I typically get between 20 and 40 comments, and that’s fairly manageable in a week (although 40 is pushing it, and I am ALWAYS running behind). I REALLY like visiting you guys and the comments gives me a way to do that. It feels good to visit the blogs of people who really want me there. And it’s a great way of keeping in touch. So I’ve continued that practice.Hope that answers your questions.
>Hi, first time commentor here. I have to say, yeah. I find it hard to frequent a lot of mommy blogs, boards etc. because somehow someway it always ends up back in the high school cafeteria. Sometimes it’s the moms themselves, but often times it is outside influences who, I guess, what to yell “catfight”. It is certainly a societal thing that pushes women to compete instead of becoming a community (which is not always possible). Anyway, enjoy you a lot!
>Wow… and I thought the autism world was into controversy! Glad you can sit down for martinis and work out differences, tho… one of those “power of small” things that every group of people should be able to do!Lisa
>I can really relate to what you said here, about blogging being a way to safely share without being encountered by judgment and uncomfortable silences. I can SO relate.Moving around a lot can play tricks on you. You may be the kind of person who feels immediately at home, and even then, you may still feel like a stranger, an alien, after you talk to someone you don’t have as much in common with as you thought.I’m not one to strive to fit in, but I do strive to find community, somewhere I belong. Don’t we all, to a degree?Blogging, in that sense, is like NYC: no matter who you are, where you are from, no matter your beliefs, your parenting style, your personality, your likes and dislikes, you can find somewhere you belong, you can find community and friends, even if they are miles away.I didn’t find your blog post offensive – what offends me is the assumption that women don’t like other women. Also, what offends me is that people now second-guess every positive comment that’s posted on a blog because they assume it must be a paid review. What about those of us who like to share our opinions about everything, ranging from whether to CIO or not to which wedge sandals are most comfortable to walk in? What about those of us whose opinion is NOT for sale? Who refuse to see themselves as a brand? I resent the “new wave of bloggers” a little bit for hurting my credibility as well as theirs. I just hope this ends soon so we can go back to things as they were. Does that make ma a party pooper? 🙂
>@ElisaC is dead on about slashdot and other male-dominated sites. There are plenty of flame wars there, and nothing I’ve seen in the parenting blog space even comes close in terms of meanness. I am soooo much more careful about what I post on slashdot than what I post on any parenting blog.I also think respectful disagreements are healthy, particularly amongst people who use their blog as part of their career. Most careers require us to have opinions on certain subjects, and to be willing and able to defend those opinions.
>I just wanted to say that I agree with you. Well, it is naturally that when you say your opinion some people might get offended by that. Even if you explained what you said and what you meant, some people still wouldn't understand. So, don't let that shake your ground. I always find good things in your posts and I encourage you to keep writing good.