>Sex, Drugs and Internet
>Now here’s a touchy subject.
Regarding the argument over whether Internet addiction is a real, classifiable psychiatric disorder (uh, duh), I read an article yesterday that included this nugget:
Meanwhile, mind docs say the problem is growing, now possibly affecting up to 10 percent of Internet users. Recent studies are surprising, indicating the problem is worst not among game-obsessed teens, but rather among middle-aged women who stay at home, constantly on the computer as a way of connecting to the outside world.
Yeah. That’s a little bit scary, isn’t it? You and I are more likely to be computer addicts (except for the “middle aged” part, which I take exception to. We are NOT calling ourselves middle aged!) than some World of Warcraft-loving technogeek? Eww.
Still, I’ll bet you can think of more than one person right off the bat who fits the description of a “woman who stays at home, constantly on the computer as a way of connecting to the outside world,” can’t you? And I can also think of more than one well-trafficked blogger who’s given the whole thing up cold turkey because of this very thing.
Personally? I have a love-hate relationship with my computer. Without it, I wouldn’t get to write heartfelt rants to thousands of you every day, or making the equivalent of a part-time job without leaving the house, or even working all that many hours. On the other hand, it’s a serious, serious time sucking abyss if I don’t watch it. I read less books because of the Internet. I get less accomplished. I spend less time talking to my family.
Needing the Internet for my jobs has substantially curbed my enthusiasm for it as a form of entertainment. Now, when I’m on the Internet, at least 80% of the time, it’s because I’m working. But the lure of its mindless surfing entertainment really tugs at me when I’m tired. If I’m too exhausted to tackle organizing our home office or to write a Parents.com post or to take the kids to the playground, it’s very tempting to instead take a few minutes to visit some of your blogs. Or read the latest gossip on TMZ. Or check my blog comments. Or… the list is endless, really. And that’s when I feel like the computer is sucking my freaking life away.
I wouldn’t call the computer an addiction for me, but I would definitely call it a temptation. Sometimes, I’d call it a major temptation. And now I’m wondering how you feel. Are you addicted to the Internet? Were you once addicted? Are you in danger of becoming addicted? Feel free to be anonymous. We’re all friends here.
>I rarely got on the Internet until I started blogging. Now I have MANY blogs, this one included, that I enjoy reading. I have to be careful or I can lose a few hours surfing around to different blogs. An addiction? No. A way to avoid housework? OH YEA!
>What an interesting subject. I think they are dead on with the middle age (OK 30/40 something) stay-at-home women demographic. I’m in a moms groups where a vast majority of the members live online. They post 10-20 times a day. Personally I’m ambivalent about the internet. I can shut down my service tomorrow and breathe a huge sigh of relief. Of course I also leave my cell phone at home on purpose, because I like being left alone. Some things about the internet are great and sometimes you can connect over something (like how much I dislike the internet!), but mostly I find it a social burden and a time waster. I prefer to get lost in books. On that note, I’m logging off for the day and taking my daughter to the park. I’ve learned only to get online for 1 hour in the morning (my downtime). Best of luck to those trying to beat the addiction, I wish you well.
>well, I am probably slightly addicted. I have my laptop with wireless Internet sitting right on my kitchen counter and it drives me nuts if I can’t get to it to check my email every hour or so. Or to check my Bloglines. Or to post on my blog. Or check the weather. The possibilities are endless….
>Okay yes I am totally addicted! To your blog in particular! I check it all the time, read comments, you are my lifeline sometimes and I’m not afraid to say it. I think the web is great especially in my situation when my husband is deployed and I’m at my wits end!
>I used to be very addicted to the internet especially when I was single. All of my time was spend online and in chat rooms. Now that I’m married I get on once a day, check my daily blogs, check my email and thats it. On my day off sometimes I’ll spend a few hours, but most days I’m only on about 45 minutes max. It feels good to no longer be addicted to the computer. Real life is so much better!!
>I don’t know if I was addicted, but I was starting to feel disconnected to my real life. I had stopped calling friends back, etc. I felt disconnected from any kind of “community” life. And I was getting swamped with other goals that I was pursuing, like graduate school. So I cut back drastically. Actually, I pretty much quit. I only post once a month or less. Now I am totally in touch with my life, friends and community, but I am bogged down in it, too. I miss the orderly, clean sense that blogging gave me, but you have to make a choice sometimes. When I’m stuck in the house with a baby napping again, I’m sure I’ll get back on my blog more. That’s how it all started for me.And when it feels more like an addiction than a pleasure, I’ll quit again, too.
>My name is Backpacking Dad and I’m an Internet addict.As with the drunks, the first step is admitting that you have a problem. ;}I carry a Blackberry with me during the day, ostensibly because I need to be able to communicate with my wife throughout the day, and e-mail is better for both of us because of its silent nature (nap times, conference calls, they are equally uninterruptible), but after babbling to my daughter for 4 hours straight I find myself using it to write a blog post on the go, or check my Google Reader for new posts from people I read.When I was younger I was a computer-gaming geek; and I met my wife in a chat room in 1996. So I don’t think this obsession of mine has anything to do with the fact that I am(a) middle aged (which I’m not)(b) a woman (which I’m not)Some people are just addicts. Myself included. And it almost doesn’t matter what vehicle is.
>What?!As if!Whatever, dude.Whatever.(I think the real first step is denial)
>Temptation, definitely. Addiction, no. If we have a really busy week and are on the go a lot, I don’t think about it at all when I’m home. But when I need to clean my house… temptation. And I work 40 hours a week.
>Addicted, absolutely! I check my email even though I just checked it because I’m expecting something. I was starting to beat my addiction when I became hooked on blogs. I will admit, most of my time I’m on is what the article mentioned. It’s when the kids are at school and my hubby is gone or when the kids are in bed. I’m improving though. Or trying to.
>The check I use for myself to see if the internet is taking up too much time is trying to cut it in half for a week. If I can do that, and do it easily, then I’m OK. If it’s too hard or I miss it then I know I need to work on taking more of it out of my life. If I use this technique I don’t have to say “I’m quitting” it. (That would just make it more of a temptation for me.)
>My online life has supplemented my offline life.I still live my life – and blog about it. And I actually take my offline friends into an online way – phone and face to face honest to god relationships.But yeah, I think it can be a problem for some people.
>Yes, I am an addict. I can sit down and the next thing I know 3 hours have passed. I need an internetvention.
>naw, i’m only on 20 hpd, if it was 24 then yeah XD
>Hello my name is Cathy and I am an addict. I am TOTALLY addicted to my computer! I plan my surfing by how much time I have to spend. I love the mom blogs because I feel like we are all in this together and I love that support and connection. Plus I love celebrity gossip because it makes my life sound great! I also learn things and research things and sometimes (rarely) buy things online. My computer does not take the place of humans and I try to see flesh and blood people daily even when it doesn’t involve school shuttling. I am happy to have this addiction-there are a lot worse vices that I have given up and this is all I have left.
>I prefer to think of it as displacement activity. If I’m online I’m not watching crappy tv. Or doing housework. (Who am I kidding? I rarely do housework…)
>Yikes! I’m a woman at home AND a World of Warcraft geek, so I’m twice cursed, I suppose. Still, I think I manage to keep a balance. I remember to sprinkle Cheerios on the floor for the kids every morning, and I keep our power bill and our cable internet bill paid on time. What else is there to this homemaking thing?
>Let’s just say that if I don’t quit playing online and literally get my ass out to find a job, someone will most likely find my rotting corpse hunched over my keyboard. This corpse will be wearing my favorite peanut butter stained sweats. The cat will be well-fed, having consumed my face. OH. LORD. HELP. ME. NOW.
>From da single guy: at work, I don’t use or venture online. Rarely have time, even if I had the inclination. But at home, between my blog and my prolific baiting of email scammers (it’s a hoot to irritate these clowns and waste their time), my no-life self usually manages 4-5 hours a day online. Except for tornado chasing in a couple months down the road, this is where I spent a fair portion of my free time. Junkie? Addicted? Perhaps 😉 But y’all have so many entertaining, informative blogs to read, I need the time to get to ’em all.
>Nah, I am not addicted. I don’t read other blogs everyday but some days I do.I don’t start shaking or going through “lack of internet” sweats.I do love your blog Lindsay, you need to post more pics of Bruiser. He is so darn cute.
>What a steaming pile of poo. the only reason they target women is because they call men who won’t get off the computer “porn addicts”. There I said it. I’m not taking it back. Stupid sexist article.
>Completely and helplessly addicted and…sigh…too close to not call myself middle aged. And, I agree with the last comment about the porn.Now, off to TMZ for me…(giggle)
>I’m pretty much addicted. I admit it. (Though I am definately not middle aged).
>It’s funny you should write about this today….I was just thinking about all the time I spend on here reading blogs and I was wondering if I should take a break. Hmmmmmm Shoot-fire! Another thing to think over! :)dawn
>I am a middle-aged stay at home, work from home mom and dear yes I am addicted. I have learned to turn the computer off and only turn it on 3 times a day so that I get something done.
>Totally addicted and completely unashamed. All Hail The Internet. I ESCAPE from my real life so I can BLOG about my real life so I can COPE with my real life. And anyone who has been reading my blog recently will know exactly why I need to escape it!
>I definitely use the Internet to self-medicate, and I possibly have become addicted. Maybe I should try an Internet free day, then work up to an Internet free week.Nah. that’s crazy talk.
>Yep, guilty as charged. Along with my Amp and Dunken Donuts I can’t live without some sort of electronic connection to the outside world. Oh well.
>I don’t know about addicted, but very, very fond of. It’s definitely about the blogging (and the NY Times, and Salon, and Slate . . .) But if I ask myself any of the “addict/12 step” questions, I can still answer “no.”As I told my husband, none of my family ever tells me I’m smart and funny and they love to hear my opinions. I only get that from the internet! (They may realize it, they just don’t tell me!).
>Weird that you wrote this today.. I was honestly thinking this morning that I’ve been spending way too much time online.. and I do think that I have a problem. I sure fit the profile.. I’m almost 50 (ok, 50 tomorrow), a stay at home mom.. I go online after the kids leave for school, and usually spend several hours, checking and responding to emails.. and then there are my blogs!! You are one of the favorites that I read every day.. I have learned that I have to log off the computer to make sure that I’m not drawn to it.. so I guess I am addicted.. I do still have real life friends, tho!! Mary in Albany NY
>You’ve all left really insightful (not to mention HILARIOUS in some cases) comments. I guess I’ve learned to ask myself every single day if the computer is taking away from my real life. Is my house pretty clean? Have I spent enough time with my kids? Am I being productive? If I can answer yes to all of those questions, then I don’t think I’m spending too much time online.
>Just so you know – there’s at least one “World of Warcraft-loving technogeek” who thinks you’re one of the best bloggers on the internet. (and we’re not all geeks!)
>”I read less books because of the Internet.”Fortunately it hasn’t caused your grammar to deteriorate…right? HA! Sorry, couldn’t resist.I’d say it’s to be expected that women would be online so much, because women are geared toward relating via verbal communication. The internet is the new version of the party line. Speaking of how to put your free time to use, here’s one way I’m not sure I recommend, but it’s pretty entertaining to see the results:http://divadomain.blogspot.com/2008/03/march-madness.htmlAs for me, I can quit surfing the web anytime I want to. I just don’t want to. I stole that from someone…hmmm, I should Google it and give credit. If I don’t come back, I may have to change my answer.
>I don’t know maybe I am addicted. I do use the computer to “get through” the day, especially when I have both kids all day. However, I have found myself getting tired of staring at that screen and need something else to do. And I don’t think I am not getting anything done. Although, I will admit I have forgone the bedtime book, because I wanted to get back to some hot debate on the Internet. Bad Mommy.My biggest pet peeve, and this goes to my husband, are the cellphones that connect to the Internet. Just last night we were at dinner with friends and my husband and my friend were on their phones checking whatever on the Internet. I thought, “Hey, I thought we were here to enjoy each other’s company?” Really twisted my shorts.
>I don’t think “middle-aged mommies” (which I, too, take issue with) ACTUALLY are more apt to be internet addicts than the gaming geeks. I think it just seems that way because the mommy bloggers are more often reported. If a mommy won’t get off the computer, dinner doesn’t get cooked, the house gets filthy and doggone it, people suffer! Gaming geeks can often hole up for days on end and no one might miss them. I had a class with one in college and he would bring his laptop and play a game on it constantly, then jump into the lecture with questions as though he was paying attention. If you saw him walking around campus he was always staring into his PDA or whatever the latest on-the-go computer device was. It didn’t seem to interfere with his daily life at all!
>I am addicted to 3 blogs….Suburban Turmoil, Niihaus (when she writes!:D), and Autismville. I check all three first thing in the morning and throughout the day until I read them!!! Liz H.
>Obsessed with surfing the net as a whole ? Not necessarily. Blog reading and writing? YES!Thank goodness my employer pays me to blog (shh, don’t tell them that’s actually what they are paying me for). Really since I do use the internet at times for business purposes (and other things) when I get home I don’t feel compelled to log on and use that time as family time.(I know I know I’m sooo getting fired)
>I love the internet and the incredible wealth of information. (Just don’t let my husband find this blog because he might have opinions about the strength of my love for this wonderful internet ;-))
>Hi. My name is Molly and I am a computer addict!
>Oh yeah, I’m seriously addicted. I’ve tried to cut back many times, but to no avail. I waste so much time sitting here at the computer. And I am a middle-aged (well, isn’t 40 the new 30 though?? 😉 SAHM and I really do feel that the internet keeps me connected to people and to the outside world. I think I would feel very isolated without it. But then again, maybe if I wasn’t online so much, I’d have more of a real connection to the outside world. I’d form more real friendships and relationships, go more places, experience more things, etc.Anyway, I’m glad I’m not alone in my addiction and I’d love to hear any tips from people who have successfully, drastically cut back on their computer time. I’ve thought about going cold turkey but there are things I really need to do on the computer like banking, checking email, etc.
>Hmmm…I think it can definitely be a cause for concern. But why did we never hear about tv addictions? The internet has substituted much of my tv viewing time. In fact, I now what most of my favorite shows exclusively online, usually while I’m doing something in another window. So I’m spending fewer hours in front of the tv but more in front of the computer.
>The second my child goes down for the night, I am on the computer! My husband does complain a lot that I would rather play on the internet than talk to him. I probably shouldn’t ignore him when he says that! Oh, and I am 27 – far from middle-aged (I hope!)
>And I just realized I didn’t answer your question whatsoever! Uh, I don’t think I am addicted to the internet itself, but there is a certain mom’s website that I freely admit to being addicted to. I won’t mention it here, I wouldn’t want you to get addicted too!
>Nor surprised at that study. *twitch*twitch*
>Every day is a constant struggle for me. I find myself online for work mostly now…but still, it is such a slippery slope for me to fall into.So, yes, I do have addiction issues with it and I hate it. I hate how it can run my life…and I love how I feel when I tell it to buzz off.And now? I’m turning it off and going outside to enjoy the humidity and mosquitoes.
>My messy, unorganized life is a complete indicator of the time I spend messing the the computer … Major temptation is a painfully accurate description.I think I need to start forcing myself to accomplish the things on my to-do list before I start blogging and e-mailing and researching …I need willpower!