>Unbelievable

>Oh my gawd! I will take my snotty nose kid any day!

>I was over there yesterday, refreshing every five minutes! Gah! What talent you have to piss people off L!But, wait, hey! I keep hoping ST will have an update from Hubs that you have had the baby! Stupid eggplant parm…put it on the the pissed list!

>Holy guacamole.

>It won’t load for me, perhaps they are blocking friendlies…

>Ha ha. I think the server is down temporarily. It happens a lot over there for some reason.

>Yeah, when I went over to read your column the other day I noticed the comments were getting a little nasty. I still don’t get why people lose their cool over things like that. I think your column is well-written, funny and, well, cute. Readers riled up over a cute column? Puhleeze.A friend of mine just had a baby this weekend. Her labor & delivery lasted ONE HOUR!!! Hope yours is as quick and easy.

>Long time reader, first time commenter. First of all, I am so stoked you wrote about this topic. I’ve been locked in some CF showdowns myself, by someone who has never even met my kids no less. Every time the meanie reared her head to make some underhanded passive-aggresive comments about breeders and moos I thought to myself, “How I wish Suburban Turmoil had some smart things to say about this!” I’m one of those witty-remark-challenged people who can never think if an intellegent thing to say in the heat of the moment. So, THANKS. Thanks for writing, thanks for posting, thanks for giving both working and SAH parents a dog in that fight. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll become able to articulate the argument as well as you. But in the meantime…. thanks. And break a leg (good luck just sounds weak)- or in this case, a bag of water – in the upcoming arrival of Baby Boy. I have a few of the male persuasion and they are such a delight.PS – Looks like they’re arming their forces against you. Found this after a google search.Childfree and Lovin It

>Please don’t feel like you’re not welcome at mommyblogs if you don’t have kids- I really don’t think any mom feels that way. And I certainly know TONS of childfree singles and couples who are nice, non-bitter people… In fact, I know very few who aren’t. The point of my post was that it seems crazy for those select few bittermen to direct so much vitriol toward people simply because they’ve had kids. We ALL deal with people judging us because of our decisions. For every negative someone could list about being childfree, I could list a negative about being a parent. For every positive, I’d have a positive. Now, can’t we all just get along?

>”I will forever force breeders to actually take care of their children, and respect the time and space of others.”Wow, thanks, *Kat* we really need ya! You know those dirty looks are keeping MY KIDS in line!!Maybe it’s because I’m on the “other side of the fence”, but I didn’t see anything from ANYONE on that whole site about hating people who don’t have kids. I don’t think all people who don’t have kids are self-centered…I think people who make everything out to be an attack on them are, though. I know that once people have kids they tend to not hang out with single friends anymore…I hopped into a ready-made family and it was quite a surprise to me, too. But we still have single friends who we love and who love the kids. And…even when the kids ARE being annoying and overbearing (because my kids are rarely rude), they smile and put up with it because they know they can just go home.I had to just quit over at pith…quit feeding that little troll…I love that they have my one comment up there at their little MySpace forum. I forgot when I go outside my normal groups that I have to dissect and explain every word in my comment so I don’t send anyone on a tizzy.

>Twelve Things Parents and Wannabe Parents Can Do to Better Get Along with the Childfree: 12) Banish the phrases “You’ll change your mind!” “It’s different when they’re your own!” “I used to think like you, but now I have X number of children!” and “As a parent, I [insert opinion here]” from your vocabulary. Read a Breeder Bingo card and just don’t use the bingos, despite the temptation. Ever. 11) Stop assuming that your parental status makes you somehow more authentic, mature, or intelligent than your unchilded peers. That unchilded teacher has a PhD and you have a kid. That means she knows more about education than you do, so get over it. 10) Stop allowing your kids to behave in a disruptive manner in public. The CF couple over there is paying for their dinner the same as you are, and they’re just as entitled to a nice night out as you. Everybody else in that theatre paid for a ticket too, and they don’t want to listen to your kid’s wailing. Teach your kids out-in-public manners, or if they’re too young to behave, leave ’em home with a sitter. 9) Stop insisting that “family friendly” work policies ONLY applies to parents with children. I have a disabled brother who I’m helping to support – why can’t I take family leave to help take care of him? Acknowledge the fact that other people have families who depend on them too, even if their dependents are not their minor children. 8) Your religion may prohibit birth control and say that children are mandatory – but in all brutal honesty, that means NOTHING to me. I am not a member of your religion and I do not have to be in any way affected by its rules. This is a free country with no mandated state religion, so you must acknowledge that I can disregard the rules of any religion at will. 7) Stop asking married people “How many kids to you have?” and start asking “Do you have kids?” If the answer is no, acknowledge it and move on. You are not entitled to an explanation as to why that married couple doesn’t have kids, so don’t expect one. 6) Stop assuming that all CF people have unlimited spare time and money because we don’t have children. Also, stop assuming that we all want to use that imaginary unlimited spare time and money babysitting and buying presents for your kids. 5) Stop using your kids as an excuse for your own bad behavior. NEVER cut to the front of the line with the excuse that your kids are waiting for you at home. Being a parent does not mean that you get an automatic pass on good manners or civil behavior. If you’ve ever played the Parent Card to get your way, stop it now. 4) Knock it off with the knee-jerk hostile reaction to anything that might harm “the children” in some nebulous way. Remember the angry mob that attacked a pediatrician’s home because they mistook “pediatrician” for “pedophile.” If someone’s trying to get you riled up “for the children” check out that instigators’ agenda before you start acting like an angry lemming. 3) STOP trying to date professed CF people thinking “I’ll change his/her mind,” or “I’m so cute, she’s GOTTA want my baby eventually,” or “I’ll just go off the Pill without his knowledge, then he’ll want to be a parent!” or “My kids are so cute, s/he’ll fall in love with them.” Just as no woman is sexy enough to “convert” a gay man, I can’t think of any guy who makes me want to get my tubal reversed. If your date says, I don’t want kids EVER, believe him/her and move on. 2) Stop flipping out if groups of like-minded CF people put up support boards on the Internet. There are support boards for all kinds of demographics: people with specific diseases, people with specific interests, gay men, lesbians, adoptees, married people, divorced people, people of certain races, of certain religions, of various political groups, and, of course, for people with children. The existence of boards where people who don’t have and don’t want children can congregate does not hurt ANYONE. We’re just talking to each other, not plotting to blow up daycares. Get over it. 1) STOP STOP STOP imagining that you get a vote as far as anyone else’s reproductive status! When you urge someone else to have a child, you have no idea what his or her family life was like, what his/her medical history is like, or what that child will do to his or her life. Yes, your kids might be great, but there’s absolutely no guarantee that the other person’s would be as well. All you accomplish by pestering someone else to have kids (especially when s/he openly professes that s/he doesn’t want any) is making a nuisance of yourself. CF people have enough opportunities to feel invalidated and misunderstood in this world without you adding to it. So there you have it. Follow the above guidelines, and you’ll be surprised at how many Parent, Not Breeder RAVES you’ll get from your CF friends.

>Wow. That was. Wow. I actually don’t believe that the negativity really expresses the feelings of most childfree people, but still…wow.I found I had to comment. I hope I don’t regret it.

>I love eating dinner in a restaurant where someone else’s kids are carrying on and I’ve left mine at home. Makes me smile and feel incredibly thankful that it isn’t my disaster to deal with. And, to the folks who have exchanged some vitriol over at Nashville Scene…lighten up and remember, you too were cranky, sometimes unpredictable children with inadequate parents once too!

>I liked your post, Lindsay, and as per usual, you gave good food for thought. Now that I’m a mom, I have really noticed how judgey people are on either side of the fence, and I can’t believe it. Seems like people get their hackles so raised and many just end up looking like they don’t trust in their own choices! Now, what about those of us who are only having one child? You cannot BELIEVE the flack I’ve gotten for this! Even from my own doctor and childless sister! There’s always going to be something to judge about someone!!! Eee gads. Keep up the good posts!

>My step daughter is 31 and child-less. *I* get told that she’ll “change her mind” and that I should encourage her to have kids. As far as I’m concerned, being a parent is hard enough. If you don’t want the kids, then at least have the sense not to have ’em!

>Isn’t it bizarre in the first place that there are adults who need to join a club to meet people without children? Man, that’s the easiest thing in the world. Who among us didn’t have a ton of friends and a great social life before actually having kids. That says something about them right there. Misanthropes looking for misanthropes. There’s a personal ad for ya.

>anon – some of us ARE women who are struggling with infertility. Some of us are without child.I never EVER said, nor did I see anyone else who said, that people who didn’t have kids were bad. It’s not even that groups were formed to find other child-free couples or people to meet. It’s that these groups’ like-mindedness is that they HATE kids. Seriously – that MySpace group does nothing but bash kids and “Breed-Duhs”. They spend their time LOOKING for people talking about how mean they are to go be mean to them. Nobody was trying to insult people who don’t have kids…your choice is your own and doesn’t affect me in any way whatsoever. But it goes beyond a personal choice when these groups are boycotting to have our kids banned from places and go about calling them and us horrible names simply because we are families. I didn’t even know that there were groups like this until Suburban Turmoil brought it up. That’s what mommyblogs are all about, mommies (and even some people who don’t have kids) getting together to talk about anything…the world…current events…life…groups that have it out for our kids. I’m sorry, I’ve had a child die…someone saying that the abortion limit should be raised to eight so we can kill all kids….that upsets me. Maybe it was meant to…good job, Group, if the purpose of your entire lives is to upset people with children then scratch one off your list. A few million more and you’ll have your accomplishment. Again, if you weren’t in there saying that our kids suck or our kids shouldn’t be allowed out of the house or that you hope I choke and die…I have no problem with you and wish you all the best in the world.

>1. I went there to peek through the window and ended up commenting, although I don’t usually comment on blogs I’m not best friends with.2. Why are people so rude? I mean, Criminy!3. Am I the only person in the Blogosphere who thinks Anonymous Commentors are cowards and should be ignored? If someone has something to say that they’re proud of, he/she should sign a name. “Anonymous” just makes me shrug and move on. Their words mean nothing to me.4. I still say that if everybody would require proper public behavior from themselves, each other, and their children, the whole world would be brighter.5. I forgot what I was going to say here. It was probably something that would make somebody somewhere mad, anyway.6. Lindsay: I bestow upon you the “Speedy Delivery” charm. I had my son in twenty minutes; may the clock be on your side as well. Try and beat my record; I dare you.7. Hoss sent me here. I come here anyway, but I just wanted you to know. Also, I’m name-dropping.

>“But I’m not all ZEN about this either. I work in healthcare, and I hope these CHILD FREE & HAPPY folks consider they had better have a great plan for their old age. They’d better set down their wants/desires/choices in writing b/c otherwise some 26yr old anonymous intern will be making those decisions FOR them when they’re at the end of their child-free lives.”That comment is very telling. I see the temptation to have a child to care for me in my old age, but I resist that mentality. It seems like a very selfish reason to put someone on this earth. Not to mention there are no guarantees your children will do that. Having a child to serve my needs just seems wrong to me. Everyone should save for their own retirement and not just plan on being a burden to someone else.