>The Maggie Moos Guy is on Speed and I Think I Like It.

>”Woo HOO! Hello! Hello! Hello! VELL-CAHM to M-m-m-m-maggie Mmmmmooos!”

I stared at the guy behind the ice cream case. “Yeah, hi,” I said hesitantly.

“Would you like to try a sample of our most delicious, tasty, yummified ICE CREAM?” he asked, barely able to contain himself from doing an impromptu jig right there on the spot.

I stood silent, completely flummoxed. “I’ll try the pistachio,” Hubs cut in.

“PISTACHIO!” he shouted merrily. “Rock on! And what about you, Fussy?”

I started to get mad, then remembered what I was wearing. “I think I’ll have the Better Batter Birthday Mix,” I said. The Maggie Moos Man stopped what he was doing and played some air guitar.

“BETTAH!” he sang in falsetto. “BETTAH BATTAH BIRTHDAY MIX! Yowwwww!“

As he mixed the ice cream, Twix Bars and hot fudge together, Hubs and I exchanged glances. “Do you think he’s always this way?” I whispered. Hubs shrugged.

“Here you go, OH FUSSY ONE!” he said, handing me my ice cream. I quietly thanked him and walked to a table, looking everywhere for hidden cameras. I was pretty sure that any minute, someone would come bounding out from the back room with a microphone and a camera crew in tow and the joke would be on me.

Once Hubs and Punky got their ice cream cones and sat down, I watched the guy serve the older couple behind us.

“Such a Beautiful DAY!” he crooned to them as he mashed their ice cream on a marble slab. “Dudes, what’d you do this weekend?”

“I did some yard work,” the man said warily.

“Awwwww YEAH!” the ice cream man responded. “Nothin’ like a little LAWN MOWIN’ to round out the weekend. WOO HOO! ROCK!” He handed the man his ice cream. “High five on yard work, man!!” The man lifted his hand weakly and reluctantly received a resounding high five while I giggled in the corner.

“We have to bring the girls here!” I said to Hubs. “This is too funny.”

The Maggie Moos ice cream guy, I decided, would be my own secret weapon, someone guaranteed to provide a laugh for visiting friends and family members. He was just what I needed; I had never quite found a replacement for the eccentric bookseller with Tourettes whose wacky home/store I used to frequent in Atlanta.

Imagine my shock to find out the very next day that my ice cream man is already an Internet superstar. Yes, the Brentwood Maggie Moos guy is better known as the Vanderbilt Quiznos guy to hundreds of thousands of people around the world. See for yourself:

I don’t know what the Quiznos Guy was doing peddling ice cream across town, but if you live around here, he’s worth a visit; his performance is every bit as sah-WEET as the ice cream. ROCK ON!