>Help!

>Hi! I breastfed both my kids and I didn’t care where. My oldest was born in England where BF is much more widely accepted and you actually will get dirty looks for bottle feeding.My youngest was born here (Atlanta) and I didn’t care. I fed him in Costco, in restarants, and I NEVER went for “privacy” because if it makes someone uncomfortable, that’s their problem, not mine.I don’t really get into the whole “lactivist” thing. It’s a bit OTT for me. I fed my 1st for 3 months because I had to go back to work and my 2nd for 7 months. Once he started biting and drawing blood, I had to stop!Don’t know if this helps!

>I went to Target a few months ago. Mind you, it was the VERY first time I had taken my wee infant son out by myself. Of course, about 15 minutes into my shopping he decided he was STARVING and started WAILING.I scoped out my spots. Hmmm… bathroom? I opened the door. No chair….weird poo smell…. toilet paper all over the floor… a line forming… nooooo…Bench? Weird guy sitting there… uncomfortable… in plain view of everyone checking out… chewed gum underneath… no….Totally empty (so empty you could hear the lights buzzing) dressing room? Privacy! Quiet! Yes!So I headed that way. Guarding the door was a snotty looking teenagery girl smacking her gum. She glared at me as I approached with Sir Wail-A-Lot. All of a sudden from the back this grandmotherly type came rushing out. She shoved a sweater in my hand gushing “You’re trying this on?””Uh.. no… I was just wondering….” I stammered.”YOU’RE TRYING THIS ON RIGHT?” she said pointedly.Suddenly, a light bulb went on. I grabbed the sweater and beat feet to the dressing room in the very back where I nursed for about 20 minutes.APPARENTLY, it is Target’s policy that dressing rooms are ONLY for people trying things on. There is NO TIME LIMIT as long as you are trying SOMETHING on. And APPARENTLY, the not so understanding gum-smacker enforced this policy.

>I breastfed two babies (in public as needed) and can’t understand all the hoopla. There are PLENTY of apparel options that allow you to comfortably nurse you baby while not showing off your boobs to all and sundry. Even an ordinary T-shirt, raised on one side, will do – the baby’s head covers the exposed lower part of your breast. I don’t have a problem with mothers nursing in public either way (boobs showing or not…) but there are certainly more modest options than the center-zip tunic Maggie Gyllenhall is pictured in. Nursing is a choice a mother should be able to make based on what’s right for herself and her baby – she shouldn’t have to be concerned with what other people think as she makes her choice.

>I TOTALLY agree with Virginia!

>I was in a mall in the Central Valley of California when my 6 week old needed to be fed. I went into the restroom there was no “family room” nor any place to sit in the restroom, so I went to a very quiet corner of the Food Court. A security guard (who looked about 13) asked me to leave because I was “exposing myself.”I don’t need to tell you that my 6 week old was wailing!! I asked him where I should breastfeed. He told me that the manager of the mall had made it clear that breastfeeding was not acceptable at “his mall.” The best they could offer was a stall in the bathroom. *yuck*Upset and with a cranky baby, I went to find this “mall manager.” He let me into his office thinking something was wrong because the baby was purple with rage and hunger. I told him that I needed to feed my baby, the restroom had no room, I was chased away by the guard from my quiet corner in the Food Court (truly I was the only one for yards and yards), so I was looking for a place to settle in and nurse.He blanched. I sat and nursed. He started to LECTURE ME on the morality of “exposing myself” in public. He went further. He actually recommended that I feed the baby formula like “normal people.”Wow! Was I mad. I was so mad that I was speechless (something really rare!). I literally couldn’t say anything in my own defense.I did however plop the changing pad and the very sticky baby on the paper’s on his desk. I changed her there and then, right in front of him. Left the diaper in his waste-paper basket, too.We encourage little girls – toddlers really – to wear thong underwear, see ALL of Brittany Spear’s whoo-haw from UP her skirt, but a nursing mom with an infant and a blanket for privacy some how is offensive!Good luck with your article.Maryy

>Argh. If this posts twice, forgive me. I was refering you to the Readingeagle.com – a newspaper our of Reading, Pa. The archives should have info on the recent “Breast IN” that happened at the Berkshire Mall. A woman was breastfeeding outside the mall and was approached by security, asked to leave, etc. She staged the breast in to make the public aware of breastfeeding. I believe it happened about 2 months ago. Hope it helps with your article! I was unable to breastfeed my girls but I would have fed my babies in public if they needed. Discretion is the key word since the world if full of pervs. So sad that feeding a baby is seen as sexual or “gross”. When did the world turn upside down?

>If you can’t take your baby out without having to breastfeed him in PUBLIC, then you should probably stay home for a while longer or have someone stay with him while you run your errands.I’m a breastfeeding mom and I BF at home, where we have privacy and where we are both relaxed. I would never think of trying to feed my son while on a shopping trip.Personally, I believe that women who BF in public are just looking for an argument and that’s not the environment I want to be in, much less with my two-month-old son.Avery

>I got progressively braver. Baby #1: Breastfed in car, back of parking lot, facing fenceBaby #2: Breastfed in car, near others; also in restaurant, at boothBaby #3: Breastfed while WALKING through Target and pushing carriage holding other two kids. Also did it at Little Gym in the waiting area–no big shakes, but he was 2 and that may freak some people out. I’ve NEVER had anyone say something to me about nursing. Maybe that was because I’d try to be modest (at the very least, I’d put up my hand to cover too much breast, or I’d turn my back to a crowd of men). I do recall ordering a beer at dinner at a restaurant and then feeling a bit sheepish that I was nursing my son as I did it.

>When I lived in TN, I occasionally nursed in public and I don’t recall ever receiving disapproving looks or being asked to leave a place. But I was having lunch once with a friend at some place like Chili’s in Murfreesboro and she started nursing her baby at our table, and you would have thought she had started masturbating from the look (nay, the STARE) of our waiter. And he KEPT staring, like after he walked away from our table, he just had to turn around and STARE again. It was so annoying, but my friend just went right on nursing. Once I breastfed my daughter on a bench in the middle of a mall in Alabama and I got many a disgusted, disapproving look from passing patrons, so finally I just went out to my car to continued to feed my baby without having to endure that. JUST DON’T LOOK if you find breastfeeding so horribly offensive!!!

>”Breastfeeding in a dressing room is gross. Just think of the people who have to come in after you’re finished. That’s so wrong.”Huh? What’s gross about it? Do you think a breasfeeding mother squirts breastmilk all over the floors, walls and seat in a dressing room?? How silly.I must say, having read some of these comments, it makes me sad that evidently many people still believe women should hide to breastfeed their babies. 🙁 No, women who feed their babies in public are not making a political statement, they are simply feeding their hungry baby, the same way those who bottle feed do.

>I was very reluctant to BF in public at first, but got over it once I realized that one really doesn’t see anything, because the baby covers up everything in question. Also, I loved/needed the flexibility it gave me: not having to be home or retreat to my car to feed DD… I had to go to a public bathroom once to nurse DD (in a store for baby gear, no less), and ever since then refused to do it anywhere that I wouldn’t feel comfortable eating my own lunch.We moved overseas a while ago, to a not very child friendly city/country, but nobody ever subjected to my breastfeeding in the bus/cafe/underground/park. I didn’t have much of a choice after we first moved, because I needed to run errands all over town, and I needed to feed DD, obviously. Nobody ever gave me a dirty look or anything. In my experience, if you at least try to cover up a bit, i.e. not yank your shirt up minutes before letting baby latch on, there’s nothing that could possibly offend anyone. Unless seeing women out in public is offensive in itself.

>When flying to Maine from NC to visit my dying MIL, I had to nurse my daughter in a bathroom stall at JFK. She was 1 month old.I did the same thing every time we went out to eat. (We went to only family-type restaurants, nothing fancy.)That was a few years ago. Now, I would simply throw a blanket over my shoulder and let her eat around everyone else.

>I nursed both of my youngest for 18 months each, a total of three years of constant nursing. I was not militant when I started out, but soon realized that it was TOTALLY the way to go and I am so glad that I did it. I was NOT prepared for the open hostility that I encountered. While eating with my husband and our kids, I was kicked out of Pizza Hut, I had covered up AND turned away from the only other two patrons in the place, when the manager told me I would have to feed the baby in the bathroom or leave. I was shocked! I don’t know if he was trying to be “funny” or what but he said, “Hey, it’d be like me whipping my dick out in public….it’s just not cool.” There were so many snappy comments I could have said but I just left.I think bf’ing in public should be discreet but not in shame. A body is natural and so is breastfeeding. With that being said, I do think we, as women, should be cognizant of others reactions. I AM NOT saying that we should cower in smelly bathrooms, teeting on the cold,dirty seats for a half hour….

>I only bf for a total of 3 weeks. Long story. But I will say that my own mother told me to either NOT bf in public or to go somewhere private like a dressing room or something so everyone doesn’t have to see.I have asked the same question about showing a breastfeeing mom (where you almost never see a nipple) and Victoria’s Secret ads…they both show about the same amount of skin.My question…if it were men that were supposed to breastfeed…would there still be an issue since men and walk around with their shirts off?

>Actually, business owners don’t have the right to ask you to leave if you’re breastfeeding anywhere in the US. It’s illegal.And here’s the thing- most moms aren’t trying to make others feel uncomfortable. But anyone who’s had a baby that goes from zero to eleven in about five seconds (like mine) knows that the five-ten minutes it takes to try and find a place to breastfeed can make the baby totally inconsolable for the next hour. And talk about the dirty looks the mother will get then! It amazes me that a few moms who’ve commented are opposed to any breastfeeding in public. I’d think they’d understand the need to do so better than anyone.

>I am breastfeeding my first child (3 mos) and have only felt uncomfortable once which was when I was with a group of people from work. I went inside the restaurant and bf alone at a booth (still in public but not with my companions) instead of at the table. Later, I decided this was my hangup (not wanting to make anyone uncomfortable) so the next week at the same place with the same group of people I bf her and no one seemed at all bothered and now I will never be hesitant again. Here is my issue: I live in Knoxville and I literally have NEVER seen a woman breastfeeding her baby in public and I go to a lot of different places (from the more ‘urban’ downtown region where I hang out to the ‘suburban’ area I live to the somewhat ‘inner-city’ neighborhood I work). Granted, I don’t have many friends with small babies but still I think it is odd that I have never seen a woman breastfeeding in public in the 7 years since I re-located to the area. I compare this to when I lived in Portland, OR and would see women all the time breastfeeding their children (grocery store, park, cafes, etc.). So, what conclusion can you draw from this?? Are fewer women breastfeeding in Knoxville (which is definitely a more conservative place) or do more women feel uncomfortable so are doing like other posters have mentioned and arranging their schedules to make it less likely to need to nurse in public? And, if you go with the idea that maybe fewer women are breastfeeding here than in other less conservative regions, would it not be fair to argue that if they were exposed to more women breastfeeding they might be more likely to do so themselves (i.e. does this add to the culture of infant formula that seems pretty darn prevalent around me?)??? This seems political to me. If you go with the argument that women should refrain from breastfeeding in public because it may make other people feel “uncomfortable” then what about other political issues (such as two men holding hands in public)? Do we in a free society have the right to always feel comfortable in lieu of someone else’s civil liberties?

>There was a friend in our Sunday SChool class that was asked to breastfeed in the bathroom…how kind of them to place a chair in there for her?!?!?! WTF??? She didn’t want her child in the nursery b/c she chose not to vaccinate (a whole ‘nother issue).Anyway. They stayed at the church and she complied. She’s got more patience than I do.

>Hi Linsday,I’ve been lurking for a few months. I’m a Nashville native and current resident of Jackson, so I read to keep up with the “cool kids” in Nash-vegas.I just had to chime in because I’m so surprised at the number of women who have commented and are less than supportive of a woman’s right to breastfeed in public.First of all, you’re right. Federal law states that a woman has a right to breastfeed anywhere she would otherwise have a right to be. Some states have additional laws to make that right more clear. Here is a link to TN’s law. Granted, it applies only to children 12 months and younger, which is ridiculous, but at least it’s a start.I have an 18-month old whom I breastfed in public from the time he was three weeks old until he was a year old. When he turned a year old I felt more comfortable putting him on a schedule and not breastfeeding on demand. But during the time I breastfed in public I was living in Chicago. Illinois has it’s own law protecting the rights of breastfeeding mothers. I breastfed in church (sanctuary and nursery), restaurants, stores, the car, and pretty much anywhere I was when he got hungry. Sure, it would have been great if I could plan my outings around his “feeding schedule,” if such a schedule existed. But my kid got hungry about every 1.5 hours. Can’t get much done in that amount of time. And I’m not talking about “manicures and workouts and shopping and girls’ trips to the beach.” I’m talking about going to the store to get food to feed my family or to Wal-Mart to get diapers.Anyway, I never heard anything but very supportive comments. A male restaurant manager came over to tell me that his wife had breastfed their twins and that he thought it was great I was breastfeeding my baby. Another nursing mom in a restaurant came over to say “You go girl.” A grandmother-aged woman stopped in a store to say that “it’s the best thing you can do for your baby.” We usually ate in a restaurant once a week and he would almost always fall asleep while nursing. Sure, my husband had to cut my food but we all got nourished and no one around us had to hear a crying baby. And guess what? Usually our waitress didn’t even know he was nursing.Now that I’m living in West Tennessee and 10 weeks away from having my next baby, I’m pretty nervous about nursing in public. But I plan to carry a copy of the federal law and the state law in my diaper bag and show it to whomever feels the need to try to kick me out of wherever I am. The dirty looks I can deal with. If someone feels the need to give me a dirty look the problem is obviously with them and not me. No one would ever flash the hairy eyeball at a woman bottle feeding in public, and yet what I’m doing is a sight more beneficial for my baby.

>My church has infant baptism during the church services a couple of times a year. The service for baptism was two Sundays after daughter was born. Priest told me to sit in the pew and breastfeed as necessary during the service. It felt a little funny (it was my first public breastfeeding experience) but ended up fine. However, my poor husband had to help me button non-breastfeeding friendly blouse and he said it felt pretty weird to be messing with my blouse’s buttons in church.

>This whole issue seems unreal. I am planning on bf my son whom will arrive next month. I am nervous to how others treat me. I in no way plan to plop out a boob for anyone to see. I plan on using a cover and at first I will stick closer to home, but seriously…I don’t want to be restricted to the house just because I choose to feed him the way nature and God intended. Is a mother really to be made to feel less because she chooses what is best for her child, but it is completely acceptable for girls and women to walk around showing their underwear atop their jeans and wear shirts that just about reveal all? Is is really okay for women to show their bodies in public in a sexual way but it is not okay and felt obscene for a mother to discreetly and modestly feed her child. I am very nervous about what is to come but the fact that we even have to worry about this is totally ridiculous.

>I’ve breastfed three children and will soon have a fourth. I live in PA which has a large elderly population, and I think that has something to do with the view that breastfeeding in general is gross. I am also not as well off financially as many people who comment on the internet and I think that colors my experience as well. People at the doctors and WIC office assume you formula feed and are surprised to find different. I have received dirty looks in public for discreetly feeding. I don’t use a blanket, my kids would play with it and frankly I think that makes it much more obvious what you are doing. But it’s not true that if you are discreet that no one will bother you. I’ve been lucky in that no one has said anything to my face, but looks have made it quite clear they were disgusted. I heard about how gross it was that I pumped milk in the bathroom at work with my first child. Not in a sympathetic way. People don’t want to think about breastmilk at all-it’s seen as a gross body fluid. I guess for some people it really isn’t about seeing skin(though they use that arguement)-the act itself is what is offensive. I’m a very modest person but I’ve come to realize that it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if someone happened to gimpse a bit of skin. So little actually shows unless the baby is still getting the hang of it. I spent too much time trying to quiet a hungry baby because I wanted them to wait a little longer til I could get to a bathroom or car to feed them. I could so easily have calmed the baby by nursing but I was too worried about offending adults. Especially when you have more than one child, it’s just unavoidable that you will be out somewhere and the baby will get hungry. You don’t always know in advance when you will be out(to pump milk in advance) and some of us have plenty of milk but just aren’t able to get much when we pump. And really it seems rather rediculous to do that when we already have the perfect carrying container that keeps the milk at the perfect temp. I just can’t get over the fact that people get so upset over using your body the way it was intended. We have breasts to feed our babies-that’s the reason they are there! Any sexual purpose is fine but secondary. And if they really are upset because a sexual body part is being “shown off” then why do so many people think nothing of clothing that often reveals so much more than a mother and child nursing?

>I BF both kids for 6 months. And I pumped at work. I was LUCKY. There were 4 women pumping at the same time, including the HR director, so we overtook an office and made it a decent place to pump. I fed babies in restaurants, on planes, in the (non-moving) car. I used a receiving blanket to cover up because I’m not very coordinated. I was at the Farmer’s Market last week and saw at least 4 women feeding babies. I only noticed because I saw moms holding quiet babies so very closely. As far as I could tell, none of them were bothered. Apparently geography matters, I live in a Boulder/Denver suburb.Other topics – go Maggie. Good for her. Paris, put some clothes on. Same goes for Brit.I’ll tell you what was most embarrassing during breastfeeding: putting it off too long looking for an out of the way place and then leaking like crazy. Yeah, that’s a nice look. Much more self conscious of leaking milk everywhere than a baby stuck on the boob.I don’t know any women that are “whipping it out”. I think we all tried to be discreet, in the same manner that we don’t show our thongs.

>And as for the whole bottle debate.. give me a break. That’s why I breastfeed. And as for the whole let someone else run my errands? Ok, yeah. Let me just call my assistant or maybe the cook? How about the butler? Maybe my upstairs maid….And as for the whole “plan your trips around your baby” debate. YEAH RIGHT. If you can figure out how to “flawlessly plan” around a 3 month old, let me know.

>”I don’t use a blanket, my kids would play with it and frankly I think that makes it much more obvious what you are doing.”That’s true. The only times I received disapproving looks (like when I was in the mall in Alabama) while breastfeeding was when I used a blanket to cover up. A blanket screams, ” Hey everyone, look! I’m breastfeeding!!!” I found I could breastfeed much more discreetly and less obviously without a blanket and with my shirt/baby covering my boob. That way most people just think you’re holding a sleeping baby.

>I’m amazed that so many women have a problem with public breastfeeding. Perhaps they are just the most vocal. I grew up and birthed my first two babies in Canada. I continue to be shocked by the number of women I see popping bottles into babies mouths since I moved to the US. It just didn’t make sense to me, but I think I’m starting to understand why.Breastfeeding was the natural choice for me. I was breastfed, as were my younger siblings, all of the women in my extended family did as well and most women in our circle of friends. I grew up with the image of babies and mothers nursing together, with and without a blanket, because I spent time with my mother and her friends. In retrospect many of those women were probably quite private and I only was there becasue I was a child, and later on a girl, but it all seemed quite natural to me.I think that the reason so few women breastfeed in the US still, and the reason so many more have a big problem with it is exactly because of the lack of women nursing in public. What people don’t see, they don’t understand. It must be very hard for a new mother to breastfeed when all of the women around her are bottle feeding and even censuring her for her choice or suggesting she not go anywhere as long as she is BF. The lactivists may have a point in this regard. IF they continue to force the image of a nursing mother into the everyday conciousness of the American public, perhaps it will eventually become as normal as seeing an almost naked bikini clad body at the checkout stand. At any rate, it is up to women and the men who get this too, to support each other in the nourishment of our children, not to make it more difficult.THere was an ad campaign that ran in Canada several years ago. THe camera panned across a room filled with people of mixed race and gender, and a woman obviously but discreetly nursing a baby without a blanket cover was part of the picture. The caption asked, “What’s wrong with this picture?” At the end of the commercial the answer, “Absolutely nothing.” I would love to see a national campaign like that in the US.When I nursed my babies in Canada I only received positive comments, and the occasional surprised chuckle when someone realized after the fact that the baby they had assumed was sleeping had just had a snack while they chatted with me. I use a sling all the time and nurse in checkout lines, on buses, at the INS office, at church, and in restaurants and most people are unaware that I am doing it, but I don’t mind if they are, they rarely see anything.THe funniest moment ever was while I sat chatting with a group of single guys at the university and they all, shyly at first and then with increasing boldness asked me about the mechanics of nursing. “Do you ever run out? Are both sides connected? What does it feel like? How often? etc.” They were genuinely curious and I was happy to educate them, and no they didn’t even see any skin while we were talking since my aby was firmly latched on and I dress for such occasions.Okay, I have more to say but I’ve gone on long enough thanks for hosting the discussion.

>I certainly thought 25 years ago that by the time the next generation came along that attitudes would have changed.Two decades later and one continent hop and I find that it’s pretty much the same deal.Cheers

>I had heard all the horror stories of nursing mothers being intimidated or ejected from public places. I was ready to meet every dirty look with a proudly lifted chin. I practiced my calm, firm speeches in the bathroom mirror. I had business cards with the state law protecting my right to breastfeed wherever I was otherwise allowed to be. I was READY, dammit!And … nothing. I have two boys, both of whom I nursed in public until they were two. (I think they were two, I don’t really remember how long it was.) I wasn’t brazen about it, didn’t strip to the waist or anything. Nor did I employ a blanket or any extraordinary effort at discretion. Not ONCE has anyone had any reaction other than a nostalgic smile.I nursed in the library, in line at the DMV, during movies, on the beach, while pushing a grocery cart, in the dreaded mall, in church, at political meetings, etc etc etc. I never used a bathroom or a dressing room. The “nursing rooms” I saw were usually a bathroom stall with a chair in it. No, thanks. We did go to one restaurant that had a faaaaaaaaabulous ladies’ lounge, with cushy chairs and toddler toys and magazines and fresh flowers and water bottles. Let me tell you, if such places were more common, you’d NEVER see a functioning boob in public again! I’d have had my dinner served in there if I could have.Once, I was at a public pool with a number of friends with babies the same age. We went there every week, and nursed there if necessary. No one ever said a word — but at that same pool, another woman was criticized and told to leave by the same lifeguards who had stood next to us all summer. The only difference was that her body language said that she was unsure of herself, embarrassed and self conscious.The best defense is to know the law, be courteous but firm, and practice LOOKING confident even if you don’t feel it. If you’re looking for a fight, you’ll find one. If you look like a victim, you’re more likely to become one. There’s a happy medium in there somewhere!

>I tell myself I am not a “militant” breastfeeding advocate. But maybe I am. I believe every woman should breastfeed and be given the support and training and time off from work to do so. I believe that “breastfeeding is best” but so does the WHO. I don’t understand mothers who just say “oh it’s not for me” and don’t even try. I feel terrible for mothers and babies who don’t have the family/physician/lactation consultant support to get them through the rough beginning times and who give up because they believe they or their baby “can’t”. And I nursed my twins until they self weaned – at 2.5y & 3.5y. And I believe it was the right thing to do. For my health (pregnancy weight – all 70lbs gone), the babies’ health (still no ear infections in my house), and my family’s finances (formula for twins – not in the budget thankyou).However, I never went to a breast-in. I barely ever breastfed in public and I never breastfed in public after the kids were 18 months. I don’t sign petitions or go to rallies. I never stop to give nursing women a compliment, although I would have loved the reassurance when I was doing it. I do try to give eye contact and smile. I don’t believe women and their children should be kicked out of public spaces for breastfeeding or told they must sit in bathroom stalls. I don’t think breastfeeding should be hidden. I don’t think it is unsightly, unnatural, or immoral. I think it would be wonderful if the whole world supported and felt comfortable with breastfeeding, but I don’t think that the “in your face” kind of breastfeeding is going to achieve that. I think that as much as women have a right to feed their children wherever and whenever they need to, they have a responsibility to be good citizens of the world too. And that means being kind to others. Even others who disagree with you. Why not try to be discreet? Why not try to demonstrate that you care that others might be uncomfortable and try to ease their discomfort by using a blanket if possible or moving to an empty part of the room or facing a corner? To me that shows an even bigger love, not just for yourself and your baby, but for others as well. My father-in-law was never comfortable with breastfeeding. He never lectured us, although we did hear through the grapevine that he didn’t understand or even like breastfeeding after 6 months. He respected us enough to accept our decision. But we respected him enough to do our best not to make him uncomfortable. I would have my husband distract him outside or I would move to another room. Because we love him. In the end my father-in-law came to think that breastfeeding wasn’t quite as awful as he had imagined it was. He’ll now say things like “I hardly ever saw it” and “my daughter-in-law breastfed and my grandchildren are hardly ever sick.” I think if I hadn’t respected his discomfort he would never have gotten to the point of “it wasn’t so bad”. You would never assume that forcing someone to do something they hated against their will would change their mind about it. Why is it some people assume that if you force someone who hates breastfeeding to watch that it will change his mind? I am pregnant with twins again. And I will breastfeed. Anywhere and anytime my babies need to eat. I don’t have the luxury of having family closer than 100 miles. I don’t have an unlimited budget to hire someone to do my errands. I will be out there in public, but I will be discreet and I bet you won’t even notice.

>I haved lived in Atlanta and Nashville prior to moving out to the lovely and progressive Portland, Oregon, so I know attitudes are truly different out here. My son is 13 months old now and still nurses at least 5-6 times a day. Now that he’s eating table food and drinking cow’s milk from a cup, he doesn’t depend on me for nourishment, only comfort and a “mood softener” as we refer to it. The mommy milk just seems to set everything in the world right for him. When he was a baby and I was first getting the hang of nursing I didn’t travel too far from home between feedings. My husband fed him my expressed milk a few times, but my son started refusing the bottle at 3 months old, so I was the “feeding aparatus”. At about two months old, I started getting out more, for longer periods of time. I would go to restaurants around his naptime so that I could eat while he slept. After my meal, he would wake up hungry and I would nurse him right there at the table. In very crowded, noisy places (like Costco), I would decide to nurse in the car out of preference for the solitude, not out of shame. In order to be more modest, I went shopping for a few tops (t-shirts and knit blouses) that had more lycra in them so I wouldn’t have permanent wrinkles from lifting my shirt. I discovered quickly that zipper fronts and button fronts were NOT the way to go, aka the picture of Maggie with the top of her bare breast showing. It was just too much skin for me and my baby never liked to nurse under a blanket.I have nursed in many restaurants, airports, airplanes, malls, parks, etc… I have never received a rude look much less a rude comment. In fact, if I catch someone glancing my way they are usually smiling.

>I breastfed all three of my children in the comfort of our home and a hotel room when on vacation. I ran errands but planned them around the feeding schedule. I cannot imagine having my infant attached to my breast while pushing a stroller and holding on to two toddlers while making my way through the isles of Target. There is nothing I needed so desperately at the store to suffer my baby, toddlers or my body through that experience. Nothing I did required me to forgo waiting until the 20-30 minutes of nursing was finished. I was not house bound due to breastfeeding. We went shopping, vacations, out to dinner and dinner over at friend’s homes. Our friends were always glad to give me their most comfortable bedroom to nurse. The only part they did not enjoy about my nursing was having to wait until the baby woke up to hold him/her again.Breastfeeding for me was peaceful, relaxing, nurturing and bonding for mother and baby. When you go out to a restaurant be it McDonalds or a 5 star, you do not know what it will be like once you arrive. There could be misbehaving children, men smoking cigars, loud adults, a waiter dropping a full tray or other chaos. All of that going on while I am trying to breastfeed? No thank you. I would rather do this in a peaceful setting. Although I breastfed all three of my children I really did not appreciate having to explain to my toddler son why the woman in the mall could show her boob. He was not listening to the words “she is feeding her baby” he was only focused on the fact that everyone could see one of her private parts. She was not being discrete, her full breast was hanging out of the V-neck of her loose T-shirt. Although it is not my preference to nurse in public I do not feel I the need to tell someone else they shouldn’t. I do not know the details of their lives or why they happened to be out and about during feeding time. I was brought up to be respectful to those around me and I would like the same in return.I believe most women who have commented here have stated they were discrete which is key. Most people in public do not have a problem with breastfeeding as long as we are discrete. If you have the majority of your breast exposed that is not discrete and people will comment and give dirty looks. How many of us have told our toddler girls not to lift her shirt or skirt over her head? They don’t have boobs yet and they have underwear or a diaper on but still we teach them it is not proper behavior to expose their private areas in public. Catherine is right. When a nursing mother hears her baby’s hungry cry your breast start to leak. In the first months of breast feeding the nursing pads were not enough to absorb what came out in the first minute. By the way, you could be out and the baby at home and your milk comes. My blouse was a mess. Try to walk around the mall with large circular milk stains over each breast. It is like walking around with bull’s-eyes on your breast. Sorry, I would rather go home, change and come back another time. 50 States Summary of Breastfeeding Laws http://www.ncsl.org/programs/health/breast50.htm (Updated May 2007)Proposed 50 States Summary of Breastfeeding Laws (changes/additions)http://www.llli.org/Law/proposedsummary.htmlThe only federal law in existence that I could find allows mothers to breast feed on any federal land or property.Some of the state laws have only a small protection for breastfeeding mothers. Breastfeeding mothers are protected from being charged with indecent exposure but not given the right to breastfeed in public. Massachusetts, Pennsylvania and North Dakota do not have states laws according to the 50 States Summary. It does say Philadelphia is the only city in Pennsylvania that has a city ordinance which allows breastfeeding in public. Nothing is listed for Massachusetts or North Dakota currently. Very good discussion!