>What’s to Come
>I’m sitting in Starbucks (which pretty much marks the outer limits of my social parameters) watching three boys act like… boys. And they are so damn irritating.
They’ve shown up here with an oversized Mylar balloon, several dozen “I’ve been Krogering” stickers and a Foursquare ball. Within minutes, one of them is bouncing the ball off the wall and catching it, over and over again. Another has covered himself with stickers. A third is inhaling helium from the balloon.
“Will you marry me?” he asks the unfortunate man who’s working on his laptop beside him. The other two boys hoot with laughter. They take turns sucking helium and babbling the most absurd phrases that occur to their cro magnonesque brains.
“I’m on crack!”
“Dude, where’s my car?”
“I want to pump you up!”
“That’s what she said!”
More hooting. One of them thinks to record the hilarity on his cell phone.
“How’s that laptop, man?” one of the boys asks the man in a voice reminiscent of Alvin the Chipmunk. The kid is clearly pleased with own his bravado and also a little bit fearful of what the man will say. The man ignores him.
The merry-making continues for a good fifteen minutes before the boys decide to abandon Starbucks for the YMCA’s annual Splash Bash next door.
“Have fun on your laptop, dude!” the kid calls out to the man as they leave.The man grunts in response.
“Good riddance,” I mutter to myself as they stumble through the door.
And then it occurs to me. In eleven or so years, I’ll have one of those.
Oh hell.
>And, welcome to my world. Glad you’re here.
>I don’t mean to LOL, but…LOL. Didn’t have the cellphone to record it on, but as a young punk, I dun the helium balloon a time or two. Guess it’s an inherent fledgling guy thang…
>My younger son has mastered the art of burping. He can even burp and say “burp” at the same time. Yeah. It’s great.
>In 6 AND 11 years I’ll have TWO of those! But then again, they never grow up and I’ve already got ONE of those and he’s 41 years old.
>Oh, my, that was funny! Makes me think of the scene in the Grey’s Anatomy season finale where the teen punks were acting like… well, like teen punks. 🙂 Just think, us girls used to LIKE boys at that age! Beckyhttp://www.stinkylemsky.typepad.com/
>No you won’t because you’ll have taught him up to that point how to act in public whether you are with him or not.In addition, you will remind him that when he goes out in public, you and his father know many people and although HE may not know them, they know HIM and it will be commented on when they see you or your husband.A boy can be a boy but not all boys are like THAT. But if you don’t take them out in social situations and show them the proper way they act, they will.
>The problem, Nancy, is that except for the ball bouncing and the bothering of the laptop guy, they weren’t out of bounds for a Starbucks. And even their within-bounds behavior was really fucking annoying. I’m doomed.
>Angst can get pretty obnoxious in his own way except he’d NEVER burp in public on purpose. Neither would his dad or his dad’s dad. It’s a very weird family phenomenon.
>I’m with you on that thought, and my boy is only 3 months old!! An even worse thought is that our daughters are going to like these boys.
>Oh Hell no! Don’t remind me that I’ll have 2 of them in less than 10 years! Right now they’re cute (when not in the throes of a tantrum) little 1 1/2 and 3 year old boys, but I can already see the terror they will cause when the reach their tween years! Oh the horrors!
>oh Lord! Don’t remind me! I have 5, 3.5 and 2 year old boys! I am sooooo doomed! honestly I think no matter how much you instill manners and respect – when you get a group of preadolescent boys together testing out some freedom they are bound to get rowdy.
>Fucking kids. Hate ’em.
>Oh hell. I was annoyed right along with you until I realized I have three of those soon-to-be-beasts. Crap.
>So yeah,if I were trying to write/work I’d have been annoyed right along with you – but then there is this part of me that had to laugh…because really at their age I found similar things funny on occasion. I mean who didn’t love the sound of their voice on helium.
>Here’s a story that made me proud to have a boy:Last night at the gym, two older teenage boys were working out together. Of course, being macho and, well, much like a couple of punks. I was watching them and continuously rolling my eyes, when an elderly lady walked by and one of the boys happened to turn around at that moment. He looked right at her and said, “Hi, ma’am. How are you?” Then turned right back to his friend and started acting like a fool. Regardless, it was the one moment that made me think, “God, I hope my son will make moments like that.”
>Teenagers are annoying, in plain English.
>Boys get stupider the older they get! I have two of my own and a houseful of guest on occasion. I will welcome you to the club in a few years! heh!
>At least they’ll be out of YOUR house and annoying OTHER people. That said. I have two. So help me…
>Oh s***! me too.
>OMG exactly. EXACTLY the kind of panic I have been gripped with ever since the tech saw the penis. Gah! (Of course, tween girls can be pretty ridiculous, too, I suppose…)
>dammy, I miss my boys being 12….’cos i was about the same age then, now they are 41 and 37, how depressing is that??? Stodgy old f’ers that they are… 😀
>Nah, they don’t all act like that.
>I grew up with three sisters and never, ever have understood boys! Disgusting creatures, way too much testosterone!
>And in a a few short years I’ll have sour-faced teenage GIRLS. I know you already have that, but Ack, yours seem nice. I just KNOW mine will hate me and the my rule against string bikinis.
>Yes, if I had a rule against string bikinis, there would be Hell To Pay.
>It’s inevitable, but hopefully yours (and mine) wont be that annoying.Ive got a little video of mine up now….doing a “big give challenge”, check it out…it’s the kind of cuteness I hope lasts, or at leasts overpowers the annoyingness that might come in the future.
>I have 12 and 15 year old boys, and they don’t act like that, because I would kill them if they did! (Actually, I’d just refuse to feed them, and they’re sure they would starve to death if they miss even one meal.)
>I have a 13 yr old who takes off with his friends to Starbucks, and while I believe and HOPE he doesn’t behave like that – there are no guarantees. Teens are quite interesting creatures. (Roll eyes here).
>Ugh. My sister is 17 and is equally annoying in her own way.
>I figure you gotta have one fashion rule so that they have something to smuggle in their purse and have that wonderful opportunity to change in their friend’s car.
>Yep, that was funny…until, like you, I realized that I’m going to have one, too. Shit. Must start stocking up on wine now…
>My oldest son is almost 14 and I have a 9 year old son coming right up behind him…I never imagined when they were under the age of 5 that my life would ever take such a sharp turn as it did when my oldest turned 11 and it all began….my how I miss those days! Enjoy every moment of the sweetness now….one day they just wake up as new creatures!
>Boys need dads. The real, old-fashioned kind, not parent-as-bff. The fear of a real dad is a powerful thing.
>Adolescent assholis I believe is the genus and the species. God I hate those little trolls and I haven’t yet figured out how to shut them up in some incredibly cool “yeah, that’s right you just got schooled by a incredibly hip, and hot, mom” way. I’m thinking about going with, “Yeah, laugh while you can, twenty bucks says your bald and wearing a name tag at 30” What do you think?